DO NOT READ THIS: KEPT ONLY FOR INSPECTION

Price was baking with Pinkie. Well, figures. I smelled the air. Brownies!

“Yo! Price! Rarity would like to see you! And hey, you makin’ brownies?” I called

“Indeed! Don’t they smell good?” he responded

“Only cuz Pinkie’s helping. ‘Member the last time you tried to make brownies?” I reminded him

“We promised never to speak of that again” he said with a grim face

“Ooh! Ooh! What happened?!” bounced Pinkie Pie

“You heard her! She wants to know” I pressured

He sighed “The brownies were so hard that you couldn’t even puncture the surface, and if you tasted it, it was really sour” he said regretfully. I was expecting the famous giggle-snort or something like that, but she gazed at him understandingly and said:

“That happened to me, too. The first…” she looked like she was counting in her head “…15 times”

“Okay, see? It even happened to the master of baking, fuck off about it” he said, obviously trying to make a point

“Spike was right about the nonsense words!” squealed Pinkie

“They’re not nonsense words. They’re swear words where we come from” I tried

“Explain” demanded Pinkie

And so I did. “Different swear words mean different things: Such as if I yell ‘Damn’ or ‘Damnit’ that means I’m frustrated. If I say ‘Hell yeah’ or ‘Fuck yeah’ that means I’m über-happy. ‘Fuck off’ can mean ‘leave me alone’ or to ‘stop talking about it’.  ‘Shit’ can mean a lot of things, it can mean ‘poop’, ‘you’re lying’, or ‘stuff’. But for some reason these words are bad wear I come from, so they called them ‘swear words’, ‘cuss words’, or ‘curse words’ for some reason” I explained.

“Okay…” she tried to piece together “So if someone says ‘I don’t like parties’ I can say ‘Shit!’ right?”

“No, you’d say ‘That’s shit’. Don’t ask me why” I said

“Okie dokie Loki!” she piped

“Price, to Rarity’s Clothes and Whatever and Stuff Place with you. I have to find out the fuck where Harry is” I ordered.

Pinkie opened her mouth to speak but I knew what she was going to ask.

“If you have to ‘find out the fuck where’ something is, that means you really, really, super gotta find it” I said like a boss.

She gave me an open mouthed smile and nodded her head profusely. Now, to find Harry