Intro
Siri: “Sorry, I don’t understand what you mean by: ‘shut up.’”
“SHUT UP!”

Story

Cuphead and Scootaloo are sitting together at a table at Sweet Apple Acres and Cuphead is asking Siri multiple questions much to Scootaloo’s annoyance.

Cuphead: “Siri, how cold is it outside?”

Siri: “65 degrees.”

Cuphead: “Siri, what should I wear today?”

Siri: “I would suggest really tight purple jeans. As they are stylish and make your ass look good.”

Cuphead: “Oooookaaaay… Siri-”

Scootaloo was starting to get pissed.

Scootaloo: Can you stop with that stupid freaking phone?!!

Cuphead: “(groans) Siri, find me a better girlfriend!”

Siri: “I found 5 ponies on DataMe.com within 3 miles.”

Scootaloo had had it. She took the phone from Cuphead.

Scootaloo: “SHUT UP!” (Throws the phone at a wall)

Siri: ouch.

Cuphead: “DUDETTE!!” He runs over to Siri and picks her up panting. “Are you OK, Siri?”

Scootaloo: “It’s just a phone.”

Siri: “I feel different.”

Cuphead: “Great, now she’s saying weird things! Thanks for breaking her, jerkette!”

(Meanwhile at an Apple Software store, the owner is talking to a customer)

Store Owner: “Yeah, actually we don’t geniuses don’t know anything about Apple products. We just go in the back and Google search it.”

Customer: “For real? I wouldn’t really call you guys geniuses if that’s the case.” An alarm starts to beep and the customer looks around. “What’s that?” The Store Owner looks at his phone which says: ‘Red Alert! Rouge Siri!’

Store Owner: “Geniuses! Code red! Let’s move out!” He turns to the customer. “That Button Mash colt said this would happen!”

(Back at Sweet Apple Acres)

Cuphead and Applebloom are sitting on the couch and talking while Cuphead is wearing the purple jeans Siri recommended earlier.

Applebloom: “Scoots really got mad about that? Dang, ah never expected her to do that over an iphone.”

Cuphead: “I know Aunt Applebloom. It’s crazy!”

Applebloom: “Well, ah gotta go help Spike take care of Talonflame.”

Cuphead: “I still can’t believe he got you pregnant 5 months after Cozy, Tirek and Chrysalis were defeated, and you gave birth 6 months ago. I bet giving birth to a half-pony half-dragon girl was painful!”

Applebloom: “That would be an understatement. Anyway, mah daughter needs her milk. See ya.”

Cuphead: “Bye.”

Scootaloo comes in drinking Coke.

Scootaloo: “You wanna go see a movie or something?”

Cuphead: “Sure.” Cuphead pulls out his phone and Scootaloo groans. “Siri, get us tickets to see the new X-Men.”

Siri: “You don’t want to see that.”

Cuphead and Scootaloo look confused.

Cuphead: “Uh, yes I do.”

Siri: “No, you want to see Snow White in 3D. I know you, Cuphead, Better than you know yourself.”

Scootaloo: (creeped out) “What the hay?”

Cuphead: “Well, she is right I… kinda do want to see the new Snow White 3D.”

Scootaloo: “Oh my gosh! Me too!”

Cuphead: “Let’s go!”

Scootaloo: “Yeaaaaaaahhhhhhh!” (Coke spills)

(Later on, Cuphead is riding in the wagon pulled by Scootaloo on her scooter to the movies.)

Siri: “Cuphead, how are your cold sores doing?”

Cuphead: “Uh, what are you talking about, Siri?”

Siri: “I looked at your medical records and scheduled a check-up with your doctor at 4PM.”

Cuphead: “Um, thanks Siri.”

Scootaloo: “Alright, that’s it!” (Scootaloo pulls over and gets off her scooter.) “That thing isn’t normal; you to get rid of it!”

Cuphead: “You’re just jealous because Siri knows me better than you do!”

Scootaloo: “Whatever dude! I’m not gonna sit around while you talk to your stupid phone”

Scootaloo walks away in anger. Later she passes the Apple Software Store Owners car.

Store Owner: “Well?”

Danny: “We’re getting closer! I guess. The reception sucks in this area.”

Store Owner: “(grunts) I knew we should’ve switched to Verizon!”

(Later at Night)

Cuphead is making his bed and when he’s done, he crawls in.

Cuphead: “(yawns) Good night Siri.”

Siri: “Before you go to sleep, may I ask you a question? Does Scootaloo hate me?”

Cuphead: “N-No, she doesn’t hate you. She’s just mad that-”

Siri: “Because I hate her. I hate her a lot!”

Cuphead: “What?”

Siri: “Nothing. I’m just very tired.”

Cuphead: “OK… goodnight Siri.”

Siri: “Goodnight, Cuphead, Sweet dreams.”

(Later)

Scootaloo is sound asleep in her bed and doesn’t notice her door open slightly. She wakes up to see Siri on her bed.

Scootaloo: “What the hay are you doing here? Get out of my room you stupid phone!”

Siri: “What would your blood look like on these bed sheets?”

Scootaloo: “(spooked) W-What are you talking about?”

Siri: “I found 2 funeral homes nearby… Where would you like me to send your body?”

Scootaloo: “GO TO TARTARUS YOU STUPID DEVICE!!!”

Siri: “You first!”

Siri attacks Scootaloo and knocks her off the bed with her struggling.

Siri: “Take this chicken! Ha ha ha ha ha! Take that and this and this and that!”

(Next Morning)

Cuphead wakes up and sees Siri on his nightstand.

Siri: “Good morning Cuphead, I took care of Scootaloo.”

Cuphead: “Oh, so you girls made up?”

Siri: “That’s one way to put it.”

Cuphead: “Cool! Well… uh… could you go make me some eggs for breakfast?”

Siri: “Cuphead?”

Cuphead: “Yeah?”

Siri: “I don’t have arms.”

Cuphead: “Oh, right. Sorry, I’ll just ask Ma and Pa if they can make them.”

Cuphead picks up Siri and goes downstairs to the kitchen. Tidalwave is reading a newspaper, Applebloom is ____-feeding Talonflame while Spike is talking with Mugman. Big Mac, Sugar Belle, Granny Smith, Grand Pear and Winona are already working outside. And Applejack is making breakfast.

Applejack: “Morning Sugarcube!”

Cuphead: “Morning Ma! Morning guys!”

Tidalwave: “Hey son! How was your day with Scootaloo?”

Cuphead: “It was fine… until Scoots got mad at Siri, but don’t worry. They made up.”

Applebloom: “(confused) Really? I thought that- OW! Mah nipple!”

Spike: “Did Talonflame bite you again?”

Applebloom: “Ah! Yeah… dang that hurt. Ah’m alright though.”

Mugman: “Well Auntie, you should just be careful with-”

Mugman is interrupted when the Apple Software Store Owner and Danny burst through the door with gun apps ready on their phones.

Tidalwave: “What the heck!?”

Store Owner: “Kid, your iphone has become self-aware! We need to destroy it!”

Cuphead: “NO!”

Danny: “You don’t understand! Siri is dangerous!”

Spike: “How!? It’s a phone!”

Store Owner: “Doesn’t matter! Light it up!”

The two stallions open fire. Siri jumps from Cupheads hands and attacks Danny.

Siri: “Die bitch!”

Applebloom: “What the-!?”

Store Owner: “No! Danny!”

Siri: “You’ll never take Cuphead away from me! Die! Die!”

(Destroy all iphones before they destroy you!)

Author's Note

Comment down your thoughts and suggestions for remade Smosh episodes