Chapters Ancient Equine Analysis 2: The Second Course
William was enjoying another fun day with his two favourite pony pals, Rainbow Dash and Twilight Sparkle.
At the moment, the ponies were gaming. William spectated, deeply engrossed in the unfolding match.
Of course they were in the living room. While conventional gaming consoles had evolved and adapted substantially from their earlier primitive forms, no number of revisions seemed able to ever move them from this most popular spot. All three sat on the couch together, William in the centre, with an excited, chirping pony snuggled into him from either side.
Of course, they didn't need to be so close. The couch was more than large enough for three adult humans, but the pair of ponies had chosen to ignore that. They nuzzled into whatever crook accepted them, hooves flopped on his lap.
A pair of game controllers lay on the ground nearby, unused. Bio-droids had no need for such things, after all, and both ponies instead connected to the console by a cable running from their flanks, giving them an innate familiarity with their on-screen avatars that was hard to beat. They wrestled back and forth in a heated contest for dominion.
"Aww, yeah. Looks like some egghead's base is on fire again!" taunted Dashy, right before leaning into William's hand for another nuzzle, swiftly delivered. Rainbow closed her eyes, pushed up into his hand, and starting rapidly kicking her back leg over and over.
Twilight took advantage of the slack to prep her defenses: "Yeah, well, just you wait until my catapult comes online, Rainbow... Then we'll see who's cleaning up who... Ahh, that looks nice, me too, me too..." William’s other hand found Twilight’s mane, and she immediately started to purr. She almost missed her cue to spring her counterattack.
Today was a typical day for the trio, same as any other. The fillies had fun together while William unwound from last night’s computations.
His job kept him very busy after all. While it might be true nobody had to work to earn a living wage in this day and age, plenty of citizens still lent their energy towards bettering humanity as a whole, either by archiving ancient documents to better disseminate them through culture, or turning their efforts to the speculative sciences, theorizing about Artificial Intelligence and programming the robots that would one day take humanity further into space. If left to his own devices, William could easily let entire days slip away in this fashion, which was why it was important that today be a day of rest.
Sure, he might pitch in later, either for a game of his own or bending one of the ponies over for a long, hard rut... but for now he was content to quietly watch, making comments whenever some particularly ballsy move played out.
And dispensing many headpats to his beloved fillies, of course.
But as typical as this day was, it was soon to take a turn for the weird.
William had been slowly working away at a tall glass of apple cider for the last hour - emphasis on 'slowly' what with all the frequent demands his hands go elsewhere. Even now it sat on the edge of the couch, taunting him with its deliciousness... and it might have continued to go undrunk if not for the ponies suddenly choosing this moment to have a heated argument about some game mechanic or another. Perking up at the opportunity to free his hands from Twilight and Rainbow’s napes, William reached out for it.
Only to draw his hand back when the glass vibrated. The surface of the liquid was trembling.
Sproing.
William looked closely at the glass to reassure himself his imagination wasn't playing tricks on him. Sure enough, it soon vibrated again.
Sproing.
Sproing.
Sproing.
He raised his head, looking to the window. "What in the..."
The girls finally noticed too, pausing their game to look up and about. "What's that?"
Those initial faint tremors, barely noticeable, started to grow in intensity, turning from the littlest of baby-shakes into big daddy 'thumps' powerful enough to cause the paintings on the walls to bounce and sway. It reminded them of a minor earthquake. Or a...
Stampede.
Sproing. Sproing. Sproing. Sproing. Sproing.
Rainbow hopped off the couch. "Sounds like it's coming from outside, chief! You stay there, I'll scope the situation out." With a cocky grin and a swish of her tail, the pegasus flew to the window, lifted it up and stuck her head out into the street.
But Rainbow couldn't have been prepared for the sight waiting for her out there.
It began with a single faint, distant outline. Just one little bundle of cotton candy-coloured fluff sproinging down the main road.
But Rainbow Dash recognized it immediately. There was only one thing in the world it could possibly be, the only thing to ever be so ponkily-pink.
"It's Pinkie Pie!" she hollered back to Twilight and William. That got their attention, the pair slowly starting to make their way over to the window.
"Wait, wait... No... It's... It's a lot of Pinkie Pies!"
The bubblegum bouncer was soon joined by another Pinkie Pie, then another, then another, all springing high into the air as gaily as she. Every hop seemed greater than the one before it, staggering amounts of happiness-powered energy packed into each of those four short, stubby little legs. Rainbow nearly lost her grip on the window frame when it rattled again, but she clung even tighter to watch as events unfolded.
Pink mane, pink tail, bright blue eyes, charming, infectious grin... Yup, it was Pinkie Pie. They were all Pinkie Pie.
And there were more of them coming! The smattering of Pinkies soon became a gathering, which soon became a horde.
Then it became a tide. A joyous, raucous, jubilantly-swarming tide of Pinkie Pies, all hooting and cheering and giddily squealing as they hopped down the road, over mailboxes, onto and off of parked cars.
“Fun!” “Fun!” “Fun!” “Fun!” “Fun!”
And no matter how many they saw, there were always yet more arriving off in the distance: in no time at all this had become a heroic procession.
“Fun!” “Fun!” “Fun!” “Fun!” “Fun!”
Even when Pinkies at the front of the pack had passed, disappearing down the other end of the quiet roadway, countless more continued to pull up behind them, arriving in an exodus of biblical proportions.
“Fun!” “Fun!” “Fun!” “Fun!” “Fun!”
Who knew how long this would go on for?
"Okay... This has got to be the... third-strangest thing I've ever seen. Does anypony wanna tell me what the hay is going on?" asked a befuddled Rainbow Dash.
William came and looked out the window. "Yeah... This must be your first time seeing this, I forgot...”
"I've seen this before, but it's been years since the last time... It's... It's..."
"The Running of the Ponks."
Rainbow cocked her head. "Okaaay? And that is...?"
William glanced down to Twilight, as if giving her the floor. She returned the look, around 20 degrees chillier. "Oh, sure, just ask Bookhorse. She knows eeeeverything, right?"
"Well, you do know about this, right?"
Twilight exhaled in defeat. "... Well... Yes. But it's not because I was researching it! It’s just something I happened to stumble upon it one day."
She cleared her throat, coughing politely. “Alright, I suppose I can provide this episode’s dreary, dry exposition like always... right, Rainbow Dash?”
Rainbow laughed. “It is kinda your thing!”
"Ehem. Well, what my cartoon counterpart does is up to the whims of her script writers, that’s neither here not there. But I suppose I can take a moment to elucidate all present.”
Rainbow hopped back onto the couch, curling up. "Told you it was her thing.”
‘Alright, well... As I understand it, the Running is infrequent, biennial at most. Nobody knows how it began exactly, but it's just as you see: whenever the mood comes right, all the Pinkie Pie bio-droids in the nation gather together for a great pilgrimage.”
“Don’t you mean a... pinkgr - ” Rainbow Dash began to snort, but Twilight sharply shot straight ahead. “Ahem. As I was saying, the Pinkie Pies start from the east coast and go all the way to the west, passing through most major towns on their way. Some peel off here and there, but the majority make the trip all the way."
Rainbow nodded, looking towards the window. “Yeah, I can see that much... But what're they doin’ ?"
Twilight rested a hoof on her chin, looking quite the thoughtful little pony. "Well... As a matter of fact, I don’t think anyone really knows. I think they’re just having fun.” She smirked, casting her eyes Rainbow-wards. “You know, like your little curfew-breaking night flights around town?”
Rainbow grimaced, slicing her hoof horizontally along her throat. “Anyway , enough about thaaat!” She was soon hustling Twilight towards the door, away from their caretaker. “Hey, why don’t we go outside and ask them, huh? You stay here, William!”
The second they were outside, Rainbow directed a glower towards Twilight. “Geez, Twi, you’re gonna get me in trouble!”
“Well...” laughed Twilight, those curfews are in place for a reason! We don’t want you getting sucked into a jet engine, now do we?”
“Sounds like something only a fat head would need to worry about!” shot back Dashy, drawing a gasp of mock surprise from Twilight. “Anyway... Which Pinkie should we ask?”
After all, when both ponies turned their attention back to the road, it was still clogged end-to-end with what must be thousands of sproinging Pinkie Pies, each as bubbly and cheerful as the one before her. Salmon swimming upstream had nothing on them: in numerosity, tirelessness or their rosy shade.
Rainbow Dash hopped into the air, flitting down the driveway and alighting on the sidewalk a few feet from the main concourse of ponies. Pinkies were less plentiful here than in the middle of the road, but Dash still found herself constantly buffeted about, either by ponies hopping over her or around her. She hopped back and forth, shouting to be heard over the crowd: "Hey! Pinkie! Stop for a sec! I wanna ask you something! You, Pinkie! You! No, you!"
Dash was beginning to get a pain in her neck from craning it around so much trying to follow the flow of cotton-candy manes. Eager to cut the confusion short, she hopped into the air again, hovering over the chaos and sucked in a great bellyful of air, ready to really shout her lungs out... which might have worked if not for a particularly absent-minded Pinkie Pie taking that moment to barrel straight into her.
Pinkamena Diane Pie considered herself a fairly ordinary Pinkie Pie bio-droid: she worked hard, she played hard, she partied hard. She loved to laugh and sing and dance.
She also loved to eat, if her excessively-proportioned rear-end was anything to go by. But who didn't need a little extra fuel to keep the excitement going every now and then, whether it was a whole chocolate cake or an entire bottle of apple cider? Besides, ask any Pinkie around and they'd tell you it was just more cushion for the pushin'!
But it was possible that this Pinkie could be a tiny bit inattentive at times. Just a smidge, you understand! So while she was hopping down the road with all the other Miss Pies, leaping a dozen feet into the air with each spring-loaded kick of her little leggies, she found her eyes wandering as they often did, taking in little flitty birdies, plump doggy-woggies, a little purple pudgy pony on the side of the road, and...
... A second pony! Right in front of her! Right in the trajectory of her biggest leap yet! Pinkie's eyes nearly shot out of her head as she started doing the backstroke in mid-air to fight the oncoming collision... but it was too late! Too late for Rainbow, and too late for her! There was a devastating impact that sounded like a pair of cymbals going off in Pinkie's ears, and both ponies toppled to the ground, rolling end over end. They ended up rather gracelessly heaped together in a tangle of pony limbs, all laid over by that familiar rainbow-coloured mane.
"Oooh... Did anyone get the number of that truck? I think it might've been @*$#..." groaned Pinkie, right before everything turned a proverbial black.
Pinkie's eyes shot open like a pair of window blinds following a firm tug to the cord. When she didn’t recognize her surroundings - William’s living room - one bit, the pink pony shot bolt upright.
"Wha - ! Where am I? Where did you take me? Are you after the old sandwich in my pocket?! Take it, I don't want it!!" Pinkie rolled around on the couch shouting at the ceiling, hooves flailing in the air.
This went on for some time. Eventually she rolled over and rested her forelegs on the couch’s arm nonchalantly, giving Rainbow, Twilight and William her most cas’ easygoing smile. “‘Sup. So you must be the guys who abducted me.”
“... Wait! You guys abducted me! Aaaaaah!" She flipped back onto her belly and went straight back to squealing.
"Pinkie!" Twilight did her best to raise her voice over the other mare's. "Pinkie, we haven't abducted you!"
Pinkie narrowed her eyes. "What, am I not worth abducting now?”
“Anyway!” she continued, perking up immediately so fast it damn near gave the others whiplash, “Did you help me off the side of the road? That’s so super-duper thoughtful!"
Twilight glanced to William as if expecting him to take over the discussion, but he was still staring at Ponkers. She made a clucking sound with her tongue and picked up the slack. "Yes, that's right. Rainbow leapt into the crowd and you ran right into her. We didn't think it was a good idea to just leave you on the side of the road where you might get ponked on."
Pinkie nodded agreeably, putting her whole back into it. "Yeah! Normally I'd love that but I was out like a light! Thanks for pulling me outta there!"
"My magic isn't quite that strong, unfortunately," she responded. "Actually, it was William. When he saw what had happened he dove into the stampede to pull you both out."
Pinkie clopped her hooves together. "Ooooh! Then I owe you a big thankyou, mister! Another second and I’d have been a Crêpe de la Ponque!"
Rainbow smiled, dismissively blowing her mane up. "Well obviously! There's no way William's gonna let me come to any harm. He's got dibs on this ass like you wouldn't believe."
"Oooh! Ass-dibs!" giggled Pinkie.
William finally seemed to remember his role as host enough to speak. That, or his interest in the bubblegum-candy pony finally overwhelmed him and drove him forwards. "Ah, anyway... I've already run a medical scan on both of you. Nothing serious, just a few aches and bruises here and there. You should be feeling fine in the morning, Pinkie Pie."
Pinkie grinned. "Just call me Pinkie, Mister! And more importantly..." She waggled a hoof in his direction, "I think I can already put names to these two ponies, but you, sir, are a mystery... Care to introduce yourself, since you obviously know who I am?"
"Of course, you're right. I'm William. And as you obviously guessed, these two are Rainbow Dash and Twilight Sparkle."
"Great! Now we're all friends, and you can't abduct friends!"
William nodded. "That's right!”
Following her declaration, Pinkie leaned back on her haunches looking at him a little more closely. It seemed like the name ‘William’ had stirred some dormant memory deep inside her mind. “Waaaiiit a minute...” she murmured.
She looked over to Rainbow and Twilight. “You mean he’s that Willia - ”
But before she could finish the thought, William interrupted her: “So... Would you like us to contact your owner for you, let them know you're alright?"
Pinkie cocked her head. "Well that might be kinda suuuuper difficult, I haven't had one of those in forever and ever!"
It was Dash's turn to look surprised. She hopped up onto the couch, clasping Pinkie's face with her hooves. "No owner?! Then who the hay feeds you? Bathes you? Tucks you into bed?"
"Me! Me! And... hmm. Can a pony tuck themselves into bed? I'm not so sure..."
"That's right, Dash," said Twilight, picking up the thread of the conversation. "Not all bio-droids are so lucky as to have an arrangement with a human as kind as understanding as ours. And even if they do, sometimes circumstances conspire to separate them. But, Pinkie, if you don't have an owner, shouldn't you be at the Phobos Port Halfway House For Disenfranchised Bio-droids?"
Pinkie nodded respectfully. "Oh, I might head there sooner or later... But I've still got plenty of business to take care of here on Earth first before I can do something nutso like heading into space!"
"Space? Ohmigosh," gushed RBD. "William hasn't even taken us to space, like, even one time. If anyone's disenfranchised here it's me!"
"Relax, Dash," lectured Twilight, immediately taking to her typical big sister routine around the excitable younger pony. "You've done plenty fine so far just living on Earth... Space is a whole other thing to bite off entirely. Right, William?"
"I'm... kind of losing track of the conversation here a little," laughed William. "Tell you what... Pinkie, why don't you at least stay the night? It must have been a while since you last had authentic pony food, and I've gotten pretty good at making oat burgers."
Pinkie looked taken aback. "You hand-make your food, mister?"
"Well... I only started learning how when these two settled in here and the subject came up. I had to go and teach myself all the basics, heh."
"Wowie! Sign me up!" giggled Pinkie. "I like mine a little burnt!"
"Well, what a coincidence," he laughed, "That's how most of my cooking comes out anyway.”
True to William's word, the oat burgers did indeed come up a teensy widdle bit burnt, and they simply couldn't have been happier about it. The three ponies all worked to climb up into the dining room table's chairs, from where they cheered as William brought their plates in. The sounds of voraciously-monching ponies soon overwhelmed any attempts at sedate conversation.
"Theshe are fantashtic!" Rainbow Dash lettuce’d.
"Absolutely!" agreed Twilight through a mouthful.
"Absolutely-posutoot ly!" came from the pile of burgers down Pinkie's end of the table, followed by a sound like a circular saw as she got to work slaveringly suckin' 'em all down.
After dinner, William and Pinkie got to loading the plates and pans away in the washer while Rainbow and Twilight handled their digestion in the living room. They lay on their sides and let their engorged bellies growl out the merits of a dinner well-served and well-deserved.
William looked over to Pinkie as she carefully crossed her eyes, stuck her tongue out, and nosed the dishwasher carefully shut. She hopped up onto her hindlegs and began turning the cycle knob. When she saw him staring, she grinned so engagingly and earnestly his heart couldn't help but melt. Goodness but she looked even more vibrantly pink up-close... like she was practically glowing. Little movements of her head made her whole mane wobble and bobble like it was delayed in catching up with the rest of her.
"Whatcha thinkin' about?" she asked suddenly.
It was phrased so disarmingly he found himself momentarily lost for words. "Ah... Well, you said you still had business keeping you on Earth, right? Of course I'd be curious about something like that, right?"
She dropped back down onto all fours with a pair of satisfying clops on the checkerboard linoleum. She turned to face him. "Mmhm, of course! I can tell you all about it, William."
They moved back to the table, where Pinkie Pie busied herself downing some water. "Well... Where to begin? I suppose it all started back when they built the first bio-droids... but I don't wanna keep you here all night! Heehee. So I'll skip ahead a few decades or so... to where we are now!"
"Yeah. You said you lost your owner, right? So what's keeping you here without them?"
"Oh, I didn't lose -lose them! Not quite, anyway. Let's start by talking about the Friendship Network. TWIIIILIIIIGHT!"
"YEAH?" called Twilight from the other room.
"TELL WILLIAM ABOUT THE FRIENDSHIP NETWORK!"
"OH, YOU MEAN THE WORLDWIDE INTERCONNECTED SUPPORT HUB OF PONY BIO-DROIDS?" shouted Twilight at the top of her lungs.
"That's the one! Well, you heard her. Bio-droids are a big drain on society at the moment, with loads of super-duper serious discussion about how we should be treated and stuff... That's all Twilight's biz, it's all way over my head!"
"But the Twilights working on it said they'd like a wealth of knowledge about human-slash-bio-droid interactions to draw on... how bio-droids are treated by their owners, whether they're happy, all sortsa stuff like that! And she couldn't think of anyone better to bridge the gap between our species than me! So we Pinkie Pies made ourselves into a living, breathing storehouse of all the data they could ever need!"
William thumped his fist into his other hand. "Oh, that's what this morning's parade was about! You were observing other bio-droids, right?”
Pinkie swiveled her eyes. "Mmmnah~ Well. I was, but the rest of them were definitely just having fun. You know how Pinkie Pies get when they get really started in on something! They won’t stop for anypony!"
William laughed. "You sound so serious about all this stuff. It's hard to believe it's all coming from a Pinkie Pie."
Pinkie giggle-snorted. "Oh, Silly Billy, you're so funny~ Someone like you should know I take everypony's smiles very seriously. Bio-droids are just as much living, thinking beings as humans, so they deserve proper treatment too, ya'know?”
“We all want a good owner... and not everyone has as sweet a deal as your Rainbow and Twilight."
Pinkie's voice hit a weird note there, her mane sagging ever so slightly. William felt a little twinge in his heart, and suddenly wanted to give her a hug. But just as he began to reach out... "But that's neither here nor there! I'm just happy for the hospitality, buckaroo... and getting to stay with The William. You're all that and a bag of potato chips!"
Her comment was so weird it made William forget about wanting to hug her for the moment."Oh, come on, I'm nothing special... How would you know, anyway?"
Pinkie sniggered behind a hoof. "Whuh-oh."
"Whuh-oh-what?" he said back.
"I mean... You did say you'd never heard of the Friendship Network, so I guess I shouldn't be surprised... Double whuh-oh."
The gears turned behind William's eyes. Pinkies and Twilights working together to catalogue everything they knew about human and bio-droid relations. That meant...
Oh no.
William placed a hand on the table like he was about to march right into the living room right that moment. But he resisted, remaining seated. "Ah... Umm... Those two..."
"Yeeesssss?" Pinkie said, suddenly invested, leaning forwards with her head on her hooves.
"Just what have they been saying about me?"
"Well... I didn’t recognize you immediately, but I’m sure of it now! You’re the guy with the serious sickness for pony booty! You oughta see a doctor with how much you love butts!"
"Oh God..." William groaned, burying his face in his hands.
"Oh, pshaw! Twilight admitted it all under confidence, nobody's ever gonna know but us ponies."
"Yeah, all 8 million of you."
Pinkie shrugged a full-shouldered Pinkie shrug. "It's more like 4 million when you consider half of us don't even have the bandwidth to download the super high-quality videos she uploaded!"
"Oh my goooood..."
"Hey, not everyone can say they did so much to advance understanding about human and bio-droid bonding! You’re famous for bridging the gap between our species!”
Pinkie started bobbing her head in time with her words: “Bridging it over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over again!"
William finally stood up, turning to the living room. "Twiliiiiight!"
Ancient Equine Analysis 2: The Second Course
Everyone came to unanimous agreement Pinkie Pie should take the couch. She protested at first, insisting it would be an imposition, but they weren’t hearing any of it. It was simply too dark to go out right now, and the Ponk parade had long since passed to the point where catching up would be impossible.
So she gratefully bedded down... while Rainbow, Twilight and William soon found themselves embroiled in their usual tricks. Once again the two ponies turned up in his bed, but no-one would be doing any sleeping.
Instead, the two plump ponies curled up against William as he sat in bed, both ‘coincidentally’ having decided to seat themselves in the same way, facing away from him with their legs tucked beneath their bodies. It allowed the girls to carry on a low, soft conversation between themselves about the day... while also shoving both their gigantic rumps right in their caretaker’s face. With their tails both raised, the intent was rather obvious: flaunting two large, juicy, thick-rimmed ponuts and the dripping pussies beneath.
“Seeing Pinkie sure was fun today,” giggled Twilight, as if her exposed asshole weren’t just out there right that second, clenching at thin air as it sought something juicy to bite down on.
“Gotta agree with that! Can’t say no to more Pinkie Pie in my life!" Rainbow shot back. Her excitement had always been more obvious than Twilight’s in situations like this, which might be why her pussy suddenly twitched, releasing a short spray of her steaming-hot juices. “Oof.”
Intentions were obvious.
William took a few seconds to look his little ponies up and down, taking a full inhale of their ripe odors. He felt plenty excited already. "... Haah. Yeah, I have to agree... It turned out to be a dream come true getting to meet her.” He smiled as he leaned forwards, knowing neither of the girls would bat an eyelid if he explored however he wanted. He reached out to stroke Rainbow’s flank, palms feeling her petite frame, her ribs and waist and hips.
"Ah..." Rainbow responded like a nervous filly finally calmed, immediately going limp in his hands. Her eyelashes hooded and her breathing sped up considerably.
"Well, just don’t forget you have us two, too! We still need plenty of attention...”
"Yeah, of course... I won't forget about you two no matter how many fat little ponies come waddling in here..." William now had a hand on both pony's asses. It made the size difference between him and them even more obvious from where he sat: both his girls had such stupendously-plump, well-formed asses... just on a micro scale! They were like shrunken-down versions of the biggest, bubbliest booties he'd ever seen, and being able to comfortably palm an entire cheek made him feel like a giant.
Ponies were barely even knee-high to a man after all, but those donks! Once their somewhat-believable pony bodies reached their hips, Rainbow and Twilight just fountained out in back, each half of their asses almost as wide around as their middles. He had to admit the effect was intoxicating: if their butts were proportional to the rest of their bodies, taking huge human cocks would basically be off-limits. But as they were now, with their chunky derrieres and their thick-lipped, engorged assholes swollen and puffed up until they were pushing their cheeks apart...
Fuck! It made them look like walking sex toys! Drat Twilight for recording it and probably making everyone think he was a pervert just for fucking these two... What kind of guy could resist the allure of a pint-sized body sporting such a healthy cock magnet in the back?
So he kept on exploring the tail-ends of those two pears, slowly but surely making his way to their invitingly-rosy ponuts. All while the girls continued their coy conversation.
"Pinkie's ass is really something, though... We were expecting you to comment on it more, boss," murmured Rainbow, using her haunches to move her ass back towards him, letting it fill his palm. She whistled through her teeth as the side of his finger grazed her super-sensitive asshole.
"I... Uhh... didn't get a look at it..." he murmured back. Was she really talking about this now? What happened to being jealous?
"Duh! Obviously! There's no way you really looked at it, or you'd have been on the floor snuffling her rump like a madman, perv," sniggered Rainbow. "I don't need to remind you of the time Twilight put on a few pounds from too many cupcakes, do I?"
Twilight laughed, although it came out a little stilted... what with William hooking his thumbs in both pony's assholes and twisting the digits around to sink them nice and deep into the girl's inner walls. With that sort of grasp he could tug them around on the bed however he wanted, they were nice and hooked. But instead he just dug in deeper, gently massaging two pony sphincters at once from the inside. That's why God had seen fit to give him two hands, right?
"Haha, yeah..." she purred, eyelashes fluttering as her typically-active brain blanked out, tuned to white noise. White noise, and a whisper that her ass felt so, so good right now. She loved having a big butt that felt so good when her boyfriend touched her back there. It made all the extra pounds so worth it. "He was wearing me like a pair of glasses..."
"Oh... Yeah... I think it went something like... Mmmh..." William took the bait nicely, leaning forwards just like the pair of naughty ponies intended. But rather than going for just Twilight, he buried his face between both their rumps, inhaling two rich scents at once. Feeling his tongue back there, they could easily imagine his glassy-eyed expression of O.D.ing on pony ass, his mouth hanging open in a silly-faced expression of pleasure... He tasted their butts again and again, mouth slowly working towards their holes, and... ploik!
He had his mouth wrapped around Twilight's ponut, giving it a rather platonic kiss while she whinnied and bucked on the end of it. Rainbow bit her lip as she watched, then hip-checked Twilight, bumping the other pony a little too eagerly in her search to swap him over. It worked nicely, and he was gently chewing and drooling all over her butthole next. He had fingers on both of them, stimulating whichever rear end he wasn't currently sucking on, inhaling the rich, earthy fragrance. He was in pony-butt Heaven right now.
"Mmmh... Yeah, he'd love Pinkie's ass," giggled Twilight, moaning through a rather modest orgasm that felt like a full-body shiver. "It's gonna get crazy when she ends up on top of him..."
"Br - Bring it on..." he moaned into Rainbow Dash's booty, sounding totally drunk now. "If you're so sure she's gonna make a move on me..."
Rainbow scoffed. She'd crested her hill just moments ago, so she was able to shittalk a little better than Twilight. "Better hope she doesn't. She's got the best ass of any of us... Meaty, full-figured, bulked up with all that cake... I might've indulged a little here and there - just for your sake! - but she's kiiinda got a head-start on both of us when it comes to having a ponky ass."
"A ponky ass? Is that what you call it?" he asked with a laugh.
"Duh," laughed Rainbow. "Pinkie Pie and mega-massive badonks are the same thing. You're totally done for, dude."
Both ponies finally got impatient. They wanted dick now, but William was still taking his sweet time... so they turned around, Dashy coming after him first. Twilight, not to be outdone, clung to one of William’s arms with both her forelegs, swallowing it up beneath her pudgy pony form. As usual, she looked to be the smaller and younger of the two, bigger-eyed and more doll-like, and much shorter than Rainbow Dash. "Hey... We need more attention than just this, you know... We need it.” Twilight’s pleading seemed even cuter with that glamorous mane of hers spilling down over her face.
“Hmmmhh... I wonder what sort of attention you're talking about...” William maintained a pointless facade of innocence, even as he grabbed Rainbow’s ass with one hand, gently pushing against Twilight’s thighs with the other. "Maybe... this?"
William’s mind drifted back to the conversation with Pinkie from earlier. And about some certain videos that had come up. Geez... Could he really stay mad at her? Sure it was a little diabolical to make him a pornstar without his knowledge, but it wasn’t like Twilight had anything but good intentions in mind. Sure he’d been embarrassed at the time, but the thought of a few million ponies glued to their screens watching footage of him satisfying the little purple perv in front of him was kind of a turn-on...
“Well... Seems like you’d probably have some videos of the kind of attention you want... Why don’t you show me a few?” he asked in a soft voice.
"Videos! Ahh..." Twilight immediately looked embarrassed, knowing exactly what he was referring to. Of course he’d want to see them sooner or later, wouldn’t he?
“Are you sure you want to...” she began, but she stopped when she saw his expression. Twilight laughed nervously. Yeah. There was no avoiding this.
She gulped. He wasn’t the only one who was going to be embarrassed here, after all. Twilight had her proclivities and her own personal obsessions when it came to sex with humans. It was one thing to discuss that with her fellow bio-droids and give them advice on how to pursue their own interspecies romances, but to have all that exposed to the human in front of her...
She didn’t feel too ready, all things considered! But despite her jitters, she found that she wanted to show him, too. It wasn’t just because she found it impossible to say ‘no’ to William, the idea of exposing her secret shame to an overbearing male presence was like something out of her favourite trashy bodice-rippers.
“Y - Yeah...” she said quietly, fetching a tablet, putting it in his hands. She swiftly unlocked it, allowing William to do whatever he wanted with it. He was soon skipping through the files as he continued groping Rainbow Dash.
It didn’t take much searching to find something good. Anyone who didn’t know the real Twilight beneath her shy demeanour would have been very surprised. William just felt nostalgic for all those early encounters.
The first video was one of Twilight dressed in pink lingerie. Stockings, embroidered lace panties with garter. It had been a devil getting the outfit sorted and getting her into it, but it had been worth the effort, hadn’t it? He didn’t need to watch the rest of the video to know what it involved: William hooking his fingers in her bottoms and tugging them down, right before putting his tongue where the sun didn’t shine, and not taking it out until Twilight had a toe-curling orgasm.
He thumbed over to the next video, one in which Twiggy worked a rather phallic object. He unconsciously lifted the tablet to where it crossed over with her face, comparing the two. It was indistinguishable, it looked like she was sucking that plastic toy right there in front of him. Nice look.
And wouldn’t you know it, Twilight’s personal porn stash was in here, too. Lots of human men...
William swallowed hard, his heart racing. It was one thing to screw Twilight on-demand every night, but another entirely to see her lovely body recorded on camera. He immediately decided he liked it very much, and wanted to see more.
His gaze shifted from the pony staring up at him to the footage of her making slutty noises around the big hard dildo stretching her jaw out.
“Hey, there’s some naughty stuff of you too on here, you know, not just me... Are you really okay with everyone seeing you get fucked by a big human cock like a pervy little pony?”
Twilight raised her eyes to his. She’d been left thoroughly distracted watching William watch her porn videos. And now his cock was tenting in his pants... She had trouble concentrating on the question, much more interested in getting to his crotch. William found himself having to push her hoof away from his dick every few seconds. And shortly after, Rainbow’s too.
“Twilight?” he asked, firmly clasping the horny pony’s fetlock.
"Uuuuh - uuhmmm... Can’t it wait... Umm...”
Rainbow laughed beside her. “He’s not gonna let you do anything until you answer him.”
And the laughter was infectious. Twilight joined her friend in giggling, albeit a little more nervously. She clopped her hooves together under her face, peering at William over the top of them. “Right. Of course. W - Well, that is to say...”
She gulped. “Actually, it wasn’t like it was unprompted. When I mentioned we had a... physical skinship relation... I got a lot of requests to see it...”
“All the ponies really wanted to see this stuff. They wanted to see a man - you, in particular - in action. It felt, ah, rude... to deny them the sights they were craving. You’re... really damn hot.”
Twilight was bright-red now, stumbling over her words, completely and cutely befuddled! “It’s just... It’s just ponies want to see you having sex! As a pony myself, I know exactly what they were going through knowing someone like you was out there... I couldn’t say no to them! It was the least I could do... since you can’t fuck all of us, even though you should!”
Twilight huffed. In the moments after her outburst, she worked to recover her composure. “Th - There. Never let anypony say Twilight Sparkle can’t articulate herself properly when she needs to...”
She cocked a brow towards William. “And what do you think? I trust you found that answer satisfactory?”
Well, now it was William’s turn for his face to make it abundantly clear how he felt. He looked so worked up they could hardly believe it. He stopped making any effort to keep the ponies at bay, and Rainbow and Twilight soon had his cock out between them, Twilight’s powers doing most of the work of getting his underwear down. That nice, thick hard thing waggled in front of their eyes like always, making the ponies feel awed and defenseless.
He turned his full attention on Twilight, inching closer and closer to her, both of them passing hot, steamy breath over the other’s skin. "Huaahh... That’s very interesting, Twilight... And here I thought you two were intent on keeping me to yourself... Nice to hear... mmff... you’d get a man for every one of your pony pals if you could...” He felt on the edge of losing his self-control, especially with that little troublemaker Dashy stimulating him the whole time.
Rainbow paid the conversation no mind, hoisting that fat cock up into her mouth. After some wide-eyed praise of his masculinity, dripping with hunger and arousal, she soon had him in the back of her throat, generously sliding her mouth up and down his shaft. "Mmmh... Tashtes as good as ever...”
Twilight gulped as she watched Dashy get to work, then turned around, raising her butt again. "N - No... Not any guy... Just... Just with you. ♥" She was panting, already on the verge of an ahegao, love hearts bubbling up in her eyes. "Only with you."
She raised and lowered her hips, flaunting her holes at him.
"Ah... Well, if I'm honest with you girls... I do kind of have my eye on Pinkie Pie... Do you think I should...? Mm. I shouldn’t talk about that right now. Not while you’re showing me this big fat butt like you want me to use it...” He casually ran his fingers through Dash's mane, forcing her against his crotch. Not that she'd fight back one bit.
The technicolour pony seemed to be fully aware she was being sidelined for Twilight at the moment, but it doesn't bother her one bit. Rather, she enthusiastically continued noisily schlurping his shaft, sinking it down her throat. She was a natural at working his cock after so much practise.
"I agree!" giggled Twilight, continuing to shake her hips. “Let’s... Let’s take care of me right now... Right in here, sir...” Her little pussy was soaked under a fine layer of her dewy juices, but the real prize was right above it: his favourite hole, her favourite hole. Every pony’s favourite fuckhole to take some thick, hard pipe. Twilight’s juicy, plump, round, thick asshole, her big fat ponut. She spread her legs wide apart to better show it off. "Once you're satisfied with Rainbow Dash's mouth... please go right in here and relieve yourself..."
And with permission like that, of course William was happy to take his time a little. He wanted to get fully worked up by Rainbow Dash’s gentle lips. "Ahh, ahh, ahhh... I love having you two do this every night for me, yes yes yesss..." He tensed his thighs, moaning as that yummy cockflesh came fully to life, twitching and throbbing against Dashy’s tongue.
Poor Twilight, though. Being kept waiting so long, and with her naked bootyhole so desperate to get stretched out! She swayed her hips as she watched them go at it, chewing her lip impatiently. She might have started whining if he kept her in reserve any longer.
So, finally, he freed himself from Rainbow’s mouth and climbed onto Twilight. He greedily jammed that bare dick into the obedient pony, huffing and moaning like an animal, worked-up so bad he felt like her tight, suctioning asshole was gonna make him erupt in about ten seconds. Of course, like always, lubing up beforehand was a totally irrelevant concept. Pony butts were tight, slippery, tender and squishy, able to take anything he had for them. It felt like pushing into warm jelly... if that jelly immediately gripped you from all sides once you were in, anyway! Twilight whined and groaned as her asshole was smashed open.
"Heheheh... Seems like he’s satisfied with this for now,” laughed Rainbow Dash as she watched him have her pony pal, sliding his entire length inside of her while she drew out the longest, heaviest moan yet.
But Twily was only rendered immobile and gushing for a moment. After her first orgasm she started moving on her own, thrusting back at him, doing all the work for him, pumping his cock in and out of her little hole. And while she did that, Rainbow got behind William, hanging off his neck with one hoof, cheering him.
“Yeah! Fill ‘er up, Chief! Fill her up like you’re gonna fill Pinkie up tomorrow!”
"Ooooh... Yeah, I really want to... That little pink fuzzball sure is cute... ahhahhh, gonna cum..." Almost without thinking, he locked lips with Rainbow Dash, fiercely making out with her muzzle while he fired off all his seed into the pony beneath him. He instinctively gripped Twilight’s waist, making sure she stayed crammed against his body, taking that potent mess as deep inside as it could go.
And when he pulled his cock out of Twilight Sparkle - still leaking cum everywhere from her deep anal creampie - he found his shaft was immediately being pointed towards Rainbow Dash. The blue cutie straddled his lap in no time, nudging his cock towards her own rear end. “Well... Looks like it’s my turn now.”
“... If it’s not too much trouble, heheh!” she laughed, poking her tongue out coquettishly. Her bare booty was inches from the tip of his fat cock now, anxiously waiting to get him inside her.
And William, like always, was no slouch when it came to fucking ponies. He took hold of Rainbow Dash immediately, pushing their bodies up against each other, his thick shaft grinding up against her hot spots and getting himself worked up for a second round. "Ahh... ahhh... Yeah, let’s go again... Your turn now, Dashy...”
“Yeah, we’ll help you help yourself to Pinkie if you’re so keen,” purred Rainbow, taking her cue to fill in the place previously occupied by Twilight’s fat ass in his lap with yet another equally-plump, equally-juicy rump.
Soon, the slender, athletic pony was grinding away nicely in his lap, rubbing off on him, putting her whole back into sliding up and down his shaft. She was feverish for his cum, squeezing him tight and racing him to the finish line. "Mmmh... But she can wait. This one's all mine..."
"Yeah...” he groaned. He manhandled Rainbow Dash like an onahole, sliding her all the way down his dick... bottoming out in her belly while her tight rear end clasped him like a vise. It felt so good! Feeling her insides kissing and rubbing up and down that bare cock, just a tiny bit more intense than Twilight. "Kkkhhh~ You ponies really look out for each other... Pinkie’s got some great friends, huh?”
He put a tight grip on Dashy’s croup, bouncing her on his cock, making her shiver and squeak.
"Well, a perv like you is so naughty there’s not much we could do to stop you if you had her sights set on her, right? Good thing everypony always wants a piece of this dick!” Rainbow was looking back at him, wanting to turn around, but his hot pipe crammed up her ass had her pretty much skewered into place. In the end he just twisted her backwards and leaned over her, which she responded to by eagerly thrusting her tongue upwards at him. Rainbow and William kissed deeply on the mouth, trading saliva as he feverishly hammered her hot little asshole. It was sucking him nice and hard now, inviting him to finish off inside of her.
And, predictably, he didn’t last another second. He just let out that rich, heavy dickbatter her little body wanted so badly. He moaned in intense satisfaction as he planted his load in a second young, sexy pony for the day. "Good girl, oohhh!!" He grasped her hips, making sure she couldn't pull away from his sperm deposit... not that she ever would! Dashy, in turn, mewled arching her back sensually as she got filled up with a thick, deep volley of semen. She rocked her hips in circles, cumming herself, licking her greedy chops as she got what she wanted. Both ponies now had stomachs full of semen, all those little wigglers stuffing them very nicely.
And at the door... somepony special watched and waited, recording every detail unblinkingly with her big ol' eyes.
“Wowie zowie!”
Those big ol’ eyes were even bigger than normal, in fact! They had a whole lot to take in, after all!
“So that tab goes into that slot, which makes that part come around and hook in there, which... which... Uuuu, I can’t keep up! How are they doin’ all that?!”
Pinkie’s head was spinning trying to figure it all out. She’d seen the videos, sure, but sex was a totally different animal up close and in-person! This was doing her head in.
But one thing was clear to her. She had to learn. So she hunkered down deep in the darkness, far away from the light and lewdly clashing shadows streaming out of the doorway, and plotted, rubbing her pink marshmallow hooves together most menacingly.
"Yes, yes... I see now... I see what I have to do... This is the last piece of the puzzle between human and bio-droid relations... The thing I was missing out on!”
“Wild monkey sex!”
“It's not enough to watch Dashy and Twily screwing the human, I need to take a bit juicy bite of the action for myself... Hmm, hmm, yes...”
“And once I understand it as well as they do..."
"... All the pieces of my plan will fall into place! Mwahahahaha! " Pinkie clopped her hooves together excitedly as she continued her maniacal laughter. It was a wonder the three perverts in the bed just nearby didn't hear her with all the racket she made over the next 15 minutes of diabolical posturing.
"Oh! But first I'd better make sure they're okay with it! It'd just be rude to sleep with somepony else's boyfriend without asking her first. Let’s do that first thing in the morning!"
"Lalala~" With a galloping series of sproings Pinkie took off into the air, leaping her way down the corridor back towards the couch. Crawling under her blankets, tugging them under her chin, the pastel pony settled down to a relaxing, soothing snooze, dreams of William filling her head.
Tomorrow... Tomorrow was going to be a big day. Pinkie had to get ready.
And her large, plump pink ponut, buried deep inside the biggest booty in all Equestria... twitched in anticipation of the stuffing it was soon to receive. Her body was already tingling with excitement, already tasting the sensation of a man who had found an oasis in the desert... and now planned to drink very, very deeply.
And Pinkie was going to have a fun time doing the drinking.
Ancient Equine Analysis 2: The Second Course
It was not a common proclivity of ponykind to excel at the pursuing and seduction of human men. Ask anyone, and they would assure you a pony's talents lay foremost in munching oats, whinnying, et al.
Up until now, this had never been a problem before. Bio-droid pony fillies had always found their human sex partners very accommodating in that regard, all the ponies had ever needed to do was assume everyone's favourite position: the lowering of the forequarters, the raising of the doughy, soft hindquarters, and the slow, teasing spreading of the backlegs, the lifting of the tail... and so on. And why wouldn't they? It was a simple gesture, easy to do, and it only took a moment out of their day.
And if he wanted to spend some time doing some other stuff after? Well, why not let him? Usually it ended with the pony face-down in a puddle of her own squirted juices, dripping with semen inside and out, and who could ever say no to that?
All in all, it definitely felt like the ponies were getting the better end of the deal here. Food, a roof over their heads, and a big hard cock messing up their insides on a daily basis? Any filly would be tripping over herself to sign up for that deal!
Pinkie in particular had always enjoyed it. The balloon-butted babe had the biggest donk in Ponyville once upon a time, and was used to receiving no shortage of stares as she waddled her way home from the cake shop every day. She knew people liked to look, and she liked to show off, especially when the position felt so pleasing to assume.
Physically, because it made her cake-padded rump settle on her haunches in a rather pleasing fashion, letting her experience the truly luscious weight of all those wonderful pounds... to say nothing of giving the pudgy pony's plump pink ponut a chance to breathe.
But, there were other aspects to enjoy, too! Like the showing off! In the venn diagram of Pinkie's favourite things, flashing her butt at passersby managed to fall within parties and surprises, which was probably why whenever someone did see Pinkie's upraised butt suddenly shoved in their face, it was usually accompanied by some of the naughtiest, happiest faces that pony could pull, all as she wiggled and jiggled for them.
Now, Pinkie was no goof. She knew the facts, she had the data. And she knew lots of people loved to see a big, plump, shake-shaking pony-butt. She was a mare with just the right proportions to make a man really sweat.
She felt confident that the sight was almost as good as everything else you could do with it... like taking a nice, long taste, or a bite, dragging your tongue over the creamy, soft contours... or sniffing, getting high off the pheromones just oozing off, a natural aroma Pinkie was proud to announce only got stronger and more potent the bigger her sugar-lump rump grew.
But nothing beat the big one, the best thing of all to do with a pony's ass at the end of a good, hard workday: taking her to task, giving that hypnotic wobbling booty the punishment it deserved, a slap to the cheeks and a long, thick cock deep inside. Turning her ponut into a crater, taking its savoury kisses... doing everything necessary to work off all the aggression built-up over a long day's merciless teasing, leaving her flooded and overflowing with sweet nectar.
All-in-all, Pinkie Pie had become rather used to that push-and-pull (mostly the push), and understood most guys would get the gist if she just gave her services a nice, long advertising... but despite all this, William was being quite the enigma. She'd been staying with him and the other ponies for a week now, and not once in that entire period had he tried to lay a hand on her.
Oh, of course it made sense. She knew Rainbow Dash and Twilight Sparkle were in his bed every night, and she definitely couldn't fault her besties for going after a good thing, but...
Not even one grope to the bubblegum booty? Really?
Pinkie had begun to notice something was odd when she'd came into the kitchen one morning while William made breakfast, planning to make this the day where she presented her 'availability' to him... She'd even gone the extra mile with a few entire minutes of personal grooming, in which she lay on her back on the couch and ran her hooves through her chest floof, and even slicked her mane back with some saliva. Of course it immediately sprung back to its prior ponktastic perfection, but the thought was there.
The big, plump pony arrived around 9 AM, greeting William cheerfully. He smiled as he saw her come in. “Hey there, Pinkie Pie. What’s up?”
She clip-clopped forwards, eyes roving over the various shiny white devices lined up. “Ooh, you know, just... seeing what’s for breakfast!”
William turned around, one hand still clasping a batter-slathered spatula. “I think you’ll be impressed... Won’t be much longer now.”
“Great!”
So William went back to cooking, and Pinkie decided she wanted to watch. So she waddled back to the centre of the room, found a comfy spot, and settled in.
Needless to say, if she had to be careful just walking around, that went doubly for settling down on the floor and getting comfy.
First, Pinkie lowered her back legs carefully, making sure everything was properly apportioned. Then, she slunk her whole body back, slowly but surely transferring her centre of gravity to her considerable nethers.
Finally, with a relieved sigh, Pinkie came to rest on the tiled floor of William's kitchen. While at this point a slimmer pony might be free to recline rather like a cat, Ponk was more used to using her ass as a cushion, and lounged against it one the pleasantly cool tiles.
She got a little more comfy, spreading her back legs further, and almost immediately regretted it when she heard a loud, naughty 'schlorp' from between her legs. Pinkie had no problems having her girthy, powerful ponut in plain view, of course, but perhaps in her excitement she’d settled little too comfortably... and as it sunk in what had happened, the situation gave cause to colour Pinkie’s cheeks.
But really, she had nobody to blame but herself: a glance to Pinkie Pie’s pussy might mislead an onlooker into surmising she was as chaste and virginal as ponies came... but that was a view that would be heavily revised with one glance at her backdoor.
The universal grippers wielded by the other ponies had nothing on this bad bitch! Twilight being able to suction up an LED without damaging it was one thing, but wait till you saw the heavily-muscled chamber buried in Pinkie’s rear do the same... with ten times the power!
Pinkie Pie did so much anal she’d size-queened herself into the proud owner of a giga-donut, a modern miracle of both technical performance and insatiable lewdness, built up over many hours of ‘rigorous physical training’ into a beefy toy that instantly conformed to the shape of a cock. And what was happening now was just... part of having such a highly-developed organ, a well-exercised ponut with suction to compete with any Garfield car window toy. It could suck a cock in and then keep it there until it was good and fully drained.
In other words, Pinkie Pie was stuck to the floor by her hungry butt.
“Eep! What in hooey’s up with this floor?” she gasped.
How could this have happened, anyway...? Was it normal for humans to floor their kitchens with... with pony-ass flypaper?!
William looked up. “Did you say something, Pinkie?”
Sweating bullets, Pinkie played it cool: “Naw, of course not! Everything’s peachy-keen over here!”
Then when he turned back she spent a few moments trying to lift her ass off the floor. Each time it suctioned back down again immediately.
It’s even hungrier than normal... she thought to herself despairingly. Well, not like I can help it... Hangin’ out with a guy like Willy is gonna set it off...
The pink pony's expression changed to one of concentration as she continued to buff her ample hindquarters around the floor in an effort to free herself... only to sit stock-still when William glanced over again.
"Everything okay, Pinkie?”
"Oh, totally!" Pinkie laughed. "Just doin’ regular, everyday pony stuff over here!" She poked her tongue out as she concentrated, writing out her name on the floor in butt-wiggles.
He arched an eyebrow, wondering if something was up. When she continued to grin sheepishly with beads of sweat running down her forehead, he reliably stepped in to fill the gap in understanding. "... Are you stuck?”
“KIIIIINDA? ” Pinkie shot back, voice rising an octave higher.
“How the... How’d you even get stuck like that?” he asked.
Come to think of it, how had she?
“Just... getting used to this floor, I guess...!”
He shrugged it off. Pinkie needed his help.
Seizing Pinkie by her front hooves, William braced one foot a little further back than the other and tugged with all his strength. Pinkie put her back into it too, even as she did her best to keep a straight face as her poor booty was stretched and strained. Long moments of intensive labour stretched out as a grown human man wrestled against the full power of Pinkie's ponut... and nearly came up short.
But finally, with a comedy 'ploik!’ straight out of a cartoon, the airtight seal was broken, depositing an ahegaoing Ponk face-first between William’s legs. She lay quietly, waiting for her booty to stop stinging even as William slowly set about climbing to his feet.
Oh! This was her chance!
Moving like an excitable puppy that just smelled a bone, Ponk skittered around on the linoleum to turn about-face, assuming the position... She might not always know the most about human cultures and customs but she felt for sure he’d probably feel like plugging an asshole right about now! So, with an energetic wag of her plus-sized tail, the pink one prepared to raise an equally plus-sized booty in William's direction.
“Wew...” William grunted suddenly. “So I guess you didn’t have to cook at your old place or anything, huh...?”
“Oh! Uhh...” His question caught Pinkie off-guard enough that she dropped her butt back to the floor. “Well, uh...”
“We had a bunch of cook staff, so - ” Suddenly, Pinkie froze. Almost let it slip! Rather than say another word, the little pony clapped her hooves to her mouth.
“So...?”
Looking out for any opportunity to talk about something else, Pinkie got up on all fours. “Heeeey, so like um uh... I wooooooonder what Rainbow Dash and Twilight are up to! Let’s go find ‘em!”
And then she was off out the door as fast as her pudgy little legs could carry her.
So much for that. Getting stuck on the floor, while an impressive achievement in itself, had proven to ultimately be her undoing, and the moment had passed.
Thankfully for Pinkie Pie, in times of strife all ponies had a fallback mechanism hard-coded into them that never failed to see them through to a solution... and enough hijinx to pad out your typical 22-minute episode.
That's right! It was time to take bad advice from other ponies!
And when it came to bad advice, nopony topped Rainbow Dash. Pinkie waddled around the house for some time trying to locate her pegasus chum, before finally stumbling on her out in the garage seeing how hard she could buck a bag stuffed with sand hanging from the ceiling. Pinkie reclined for a time, feeling like she'd had a whole day's exercise just watching, before finally broaching the question she wanted to ask:
"Rainbow?"
"Yuhuh?" asked Rainbow, not pausing in her assault.
"How do I get William to look my way?"
Rainbow had been just about to hurl herself into the bag full-force, when Pinkie's question saw her skidding to a halt, kicking up dust clouds despite being in mid-air. "Look your way? You mean, like... notice you?"
"Yuhuh," Pinkie teased, echoing her pal's prior inflection.
Rainbow landed in front of her, giving the other pony a curious look. She planted one hoof on a spare basketball, rolling it around in a circle. "Hmmm... Well, I've known William longer than anyone... and I can say what he likes best is a sporty pony. A speedster, like me! So try that!"
"Gee Dashy, I dunno..." mused Pinkie. "I think I ate a few too many cupcakes to be able to do some of the stuff you do..."
But Rainbow was cool as a cucumber. She swagged it out, tilting her head and sweeping her hooves. "Just fake it till you make it, bro. Look the part and he won't know the difference. I even got some old lycra you can borrow if you want."
"Ooooh! Stretchy!"
Rainbow puffed her fringe up with a little huff, pulling one of the many classic RBD goblin faces. "Yeah, you darn well better be."
Which was how, just an hour later, William found himself not at home in his comfy room, but unexpectedly plopped onto his local tennis court, opposite a simply spectacular Ponk. Following Rainbow's advice, Pinkie had dressed for success, with every teasing detail planned out in advance. This time it was a sure thing.
She really did look mouth-watering. Of course, Pinkie looked pretty nice most days, but a little theming always helped tease interest out of a man... and today’s theme was tennis bimbo. The ‘horny housewife special’ any sophisticated lady fell back on when she needed an excuse to wear a polo shirt, pleated miniskirt and no panties.
And that wasn’t even accounting for how this fashion choice looked on Pinkie’s rosy-pink derriere! Not only did the perky pony have a habit of strutting just so as to raise her patoot high in the air, but her hefty raised tail did its fair share of work too. Coupled with her hindquarters redefining wide load back there - wobbling assets engulfing the tops of her stripey white socks, she seemed intent on raising the question as to whether some distant ancestor of hers had been part shelf.
Was that it? Had Pinkie's grandma been knocked up by some handsome homewares at some point in the past? Her storage capacity was without compare!
Either way, as Pinkie strutted up and down the court, skirts a-swishing, it was impossible to not get a glimpse of the gooey, steamy, inviting folds within. The stiff skirt put paid to that, Pinkie’s pink puffy ponut permanently on display.
In short, Pinkie Pie's flanks, curves and bumps were as obscene as could be, and she knew how to make those wiggles work. This plan was a sure thing. All she had to do now was fawn over William, wiggle her butt in the air... maybe even shamelessly tug her top down a little to teasingly reveal a little chest floof here and there!
Then, next thing you knew, they'd be hitting the showers, and he’d be hitting that ass! Pinkie was gonna show William the deepest, tightest hole he'd ever find outside of extreme caving! Mm-hm!
And it worked, to begin with. William was spellbound while he was getting ready, setting up some device or another...
“What’s that?” she asked, watching him launching a small drone into the air.
“Oh, well, it’s a drone... I thought we could record our matches for posterity, I’m sure a lot of ponies would wanna see it. Look, there’s even a livestream function so people can watch us as we play,” he said with a smile.
Pinkie nodded thoughtfully. “Yeah! You got a lot of fans... Ooh, maybe I should’ve worn panties then...”
He laughed, rolling his eyes. “I’m sure it’s nothing anypony hasn’t seen before, right?”
He fidgeted with it for a few seconds longer, before launching the drone into the air. He looked relieved to be done, since he’d much rather be checking out Pinkie right now.
And he did, he gave it to her alright. As Pinkie waggled her way up and down the court, returning his serves with poise and alacrity, she definitely had William’s full attention.
Really, as they played back and forth, it should have been easy to find a moment where she could twist William’s interest to her advantage, seducing him in some manner or another... but somehow Pinkie just wasn’t able to concentrate on that! In the end, the problem wasn’t with him... but with her.
As she scored yet another point that sent her companion packing, she found a stray thought making its way sideways into her head: why was this so fun?!
She’d heard about human sports here and there, and had a working knowledge of how many of them were played, but actually participating herself was a whole other thing! She looked more determined than ever as she firmly clutched her racquet in her mouth, working her butt off for each volley as she hurtled around the field.
Knowing she was giving William a run for his money, knowing she was driving him to put in his best... Ooh! She couldn’t believe how good it felt! She felt like whipping herself to even greater speeds, taking the pace and running away with it. She'd never had a chance to get this serious in a contest before, and something about the look of concentration on William's face just made her want to take it even further.
That was it! Pinkie wanted to win. She could win! Heck, she could have taken on Dashy with how she felt right now!
“Hold on a second!” she called to William, right before she darted court-side, retrieving a pair of hair scrunchies from her things. Pinkie sat down and began working them into her mane even as she poked her tongue out in concentration.
Now that was more like it! When Pinkie got back on her toes, her mane was piled up a pair of bouncy puffs, all the better to keep it restrained and out of her eyes. Couldn't have points slipping her by because she couldn't see where she was going.
So you bet she tied it up! This pony might be here to score, but she was here to play, too!
And poor William did his best, but the pink blur in front of him was setting a mean pace. "Come on, let's go!" Pinkie called playfully, right before smacking the ball high in the air and taking off like a rocket after it.
Which was, naturally, when the scales tipped for the accident-prone pony and her human opponent. Pinkie had a habit of letting her desires come out through her actions - even unconsciously - and today was no different! So as she rocketed into the air, high over Williams’ head, she swung for the airborne ball... and missed catastrophically.
“W - Wuh-oh!” Pinkie cried, suddenly losing all her momentum as her racquet whooshed through empty air. She twisted as she flew, trying to take a second pass at it, which just screwed her trajectory yet further still.
Next thing she knew and she was hurtling towards William like the world’s pinkest thwomp.
“Ahhhh!”
“Ahhhhhhheeheeheehee!”
The crash must have been heard for miles around, and the resulting dust cloud seen for just as far. It was like a nuclear bomb went off. And when the dust finally cleared, it was a thoroughly-dizzied Pinkie that raised her head and began to attempt to gather her senses.
It felt like... something was poking her in the butt. And you might assume it would take Pinkie a while to feel anything through all the truly ridiculous amounts of padding, but you’d be wrong! Quite the opposite, in fact, her rear end was sensitive enough she’d have been able to feel a pin dropping on it. And probably have had to stifle a moan of pleasure at that. And if anyone ever actually groped her buns? You bet she’d be climaxing on a hair trigger.
So of course she got a goofy little smile as the whatever-it-was continued squoosh (Was that a word? Pinkie decided it should be) against her bulging shelf of pastel-pink pony booty. “Mmmhhhahaha, what’s going on back there, huuuuh~?”
Then hands gripped her ass, and she lost any pretense of dignity. Eyes hooded, tongue unfurled, a generously slutty moan escaped the pony pal’s mouth. “Uoooooh... Willy...!”
William was on his back on the tennis court, and Pinkie was straddling him. She had a back-leg hoof resting near either shoulder... which meant her big, round, pink booty was directly into his face.
“Oopsy.” What else could she possibly have said after hurling her dumptruck ass directly onto her human owner’s face midway through a tennis game? This went beyond just a mere foul, right?
And in his grogginess, William had steadied his hands on it... or maybe he was just conditioned to grab fat pony ass when it was in his face?
Either way, he was in for it now...
Much has been said about Pinkie Pie's booty up to this point. And much will continue to be said. And as the possessor of Ponyville's biggest, roundest, heaviest dang rump, she deserves all of it and more. But despite William's time with Pinkie Pie - especially over the last few hours! - having made him intimately familiar with the pony's fat rump and ponut, having it shoved right in his face still proved to be a totally breathtaking new experience, totally divorced from anything he’d experienced so far.
Frankly, it wasn't for ass-amateurs. Any regular guy would be demolished in a flash, one sniff of her earthy scents enough to make him cream his pants in a flash. William was thoroughly experienced with big pony butts at this point and still even he felt like he was gonna lose it!
Two big cheeks, each larger than one of his pecs, able to engulf his whole upper body in a prison of ass-flesh if Pinkie so wished. Glossy, paint-coloured balloon Cutie Marks, one on either cheek, rippling and rolling like banners in the wind every time that enormous chunk of ass-meat jiggled. And the ponut, that big, pronounced, frankly fat asshole of hers nestled between... but more like so big it pushed her buttcheeks apart. It forced itself to be acknowledged with sheer size and girthiness.
A fat fuckin' ponut for a fat fuckin' pony.
William could lose an entire arm in there. It could tighten on his hand and schlorp him down to the shoulder in a single muscle contraction if Pinkie wanted. Such power should not be lightly tampered with.
At first William only thought of freeing himself from Pinkie’s weight and getting her off of him... or at least, that’s what the forefront of his mind was saying, anyway. The polite part of his brain.
Obviously, the side of his mind obsessed with fucking, mating and claiming females had a lot of other different thoughts rising to the forefront! Just because he already had two fat ponuts on tap didn’t mean he’d pass up an opportunity to squeeze and molest and bite down on a third thick flesh-pipe.
“G - Guhhhh...” Best he could manage at the moment as the cotton-candy tones of Pinkie’s perfumed rear felt like they were digging into his brain by way of his crotch. His shaft was rising to attention in no time flat, the visual stimuli of a giggling pony with a fully cheeked-up rump more than enough to titillate this perv like nothing else.
So he reached for her butt. Ostensibly to lever her off of his body, he told himself. But... it didn’t really play out like that in reality.
Clasping one of Pinkie's simply stellar booty mounds in either hand, William found his hands starting to play with her, squeezing and fondling all of their own accord. Pinkie Pie looked surprised for a second, but then giggled and grinned even wider along with him. “Oh, Willy! Feel something you like back there, hunkeroonie?”
“Well, as long as you’re back there... I should mention I really worked up a sweat on the court earlier... You probably don’t wanna find out what a hot, sweaty pink pony’s big fat butt smells like by sticking your nose right up her chute, amirite? Hee hee hee~!”
Pinkie couldn’t have been wrong if she’d tried. But she knew it. And William knew there was nothing he would rather be doing right now.
“Mmmmaybe just a little sniff...” he groaned, resolve passing him by at the speed of sound. In his dazed state, being face-first in pony ass felt like the only thing that mattered.
Pinkie wobbled her butt back at him, swaying from side to side, poking her tongue out. "Give it a sniff! Do that, then we can start the main event!"
The main event, huh...? Well, now she had his curiosity piqued. He leaned forward and did as bade... and the smell, sure enough, almost immediately knocked him dead. Pinkie Pie had a deep, strong natural smell that curled his toes and made his dick throb so hard it bordered on painful. A meaty body like hers produced plenty of strong aromas, and nowhere were they more pronounced and detailed and just... complex... than here. Sweaty pony assmeat, ripe and juicy, laced with a cocktail of pheromone scents that - once upon a time - would have needed to be strong to penetrate even a stallion's thick head and tell him it was breeding time. Rousing a horse to attention needed an approach with all the subtlety of a club, and right now Pinkie was definitely clobbering William with enough pheromones to get her mounted by every stallion for miles around.
Add millennia of breeding processes, and amp it up with the best science had to offer, and the effect was drug-like. Earlier William had assumed he’d be able to remain gentlemanly around Pinkie, but...
But now his cock was so hard it ached . Pinkie oohed and aahed as the bulge in his shorts rose to greet her, prodding it with a spongy hoof. She giggled as it sprang and wobbled.
"Seems like there's something really good between a human guy's legs... You wouldn't know anything about that now, would'ya? Something you've been sticking in all my pony pals to make 'em go cross-eyed?!"
William was still dazed, barely able to answer her question as he started burying his face between her cheeks: "Geez, how ridiculous... I can't think of anything like that..."
"Are you suuuure, Mister? 'Cause I think you've been fucking a lot of ponies with something big'n'hard for months now, training them till they can't get enough!" Pinkie continued teasing him as she sat on his belly, massive, thick thighs to either side of him. She was gyrating rather nicely on his stomach, mixing in a few fat-bottomed bounces for good measure. Pinkie meant business! And she showed it as she kept at him, poking his crotch all over with her enormous fluffy tail.
All this raunchy talk made something creep back into William’s mind... Something about it being a bad idea to be doing this out in public. But the cotton candy smell made it really hard to focus on anything other than what he was doing right now. What Pinkie was treating him to.
"Mmmh... Alright, alright, I’m hard... Nnnh... How could I not be...?" he groaned.
Pinkie was so overjoyed her tongue poked halfway out. She was grinning like a maniac as she looked back at him... things had worked out even better than she’d planned! "Now... You can have a nice little snack, buddy! Eat it!"
But while the idea was very familiar to Pinkie, William looked a little more startled. He’d never done this sort of thing with a pony before!
But...
Her asshole sure was big. Even in his head he'd always thought pony butts looked like a big, thick, juicy, backside-dominating donut sandwiched between two basketballs... Or more like two stability balls, in Pinkie's case.
And he did like donuts.
So... what was the harm?
Maybe under any other circumstances he’d have questioned his instincts, but the smell of her body felt wired directly to his crotch and his stomach, overwhelming his senses, making him curiouser and curiouser by the moment. Pretty soon he was raring to go.
"Mmmmhhhh..." He went for it. And Pinkie bit the underside of her mouth, eyes rolling back in her head with joy.
William dove hungrily in, driving his face into Pinkie Pie's ass, letting her buttcheeks mash down on either side of his face. He just kept on pressing forwards until she must have had a big ol’ imprint of his features on her flesh back there.
Then he stretched his tongue out... touched down on her creamy buttflesh... crested over her ponut... and tasted. Pinkie’s. Ass...
... and moaned like a dummy at how good she tasted. It matched the wildly wonderful smell beat for beat, as rich and flavourful as anything he'd get served up in a 5-star restaurant. This butt couldn’t be beat!
“Mmmppphhhh! ♥” What else could he say at this point, after all? There was a booty filling his mouth, and the best one at that.
William continued sliding his tongue around the rim, groaning, moaning, grateful to taste something so creamy and yet simultaneously so potent. Eventually he even let his tongue dip inside... and found a whole new bouquet of flavours waiting for him. A little more acrid and sweaty... harder-edged? He retreated for just a second to the relative ‘safety’ of the outer rim... but oh, not for long! A second later and he embraced it all over again, swirling his tongue around the inside and outside of her ponut, scooping up every droplet of sweat Pinkie Pie wanted to feed him. His white-knuckled grip on Pinkie’s rump tightened and she squealed, pushing back against his tongue as it slipped inside.
Nice and deep. A mesmerizing taste. His cock felt ready to burst through his pants.
Pony ass was delicious! Why had he held off so long on this?
And Pinkie just cooed. There probably wasn't a single thing he could do to her ass she wouldn't like, frankly.
William opened his mouth a little wider, leaning in, when suddenly he gripped the outer rim gently between his teeth. Pinkie immediately started wiggling faster, hissing through her teeth... but seeing she made no urge to stop him he grew bolder and started chewing harder . Pinkie bucked like a maniac as William’s teeth sank into the big, prominent bulge of her butthole; she started scrabbling for purchase, fighting to not be overwhelmed by the sensation of him taking a nice bite out of her. Her bucking grew more frantic as William worked his way all around it in a circle... and when he finally finished with a few teasing licks, she'd had enough: the Pie daughter arched her back, squealed, and buried her face in his chest, head swathed deep in her own mane as she grunted and groaned through her first William-induced anal orgasm, but definitely not her last. Within moments, she was reduced to a shuddering mess of twitchy hormones, her face cycling through a dozen demented expressions a second as she squealed, clung to him, shook... and finally looked up with a panting, fucked-out expression.
Teeth marks ringed Pinkie’s asshole, and judging by the look on her face she deeply felt every one. And when her marshmallow-y skin started to naturally regress to its smooth unbroken pinkness, every indent vanishing as if it had never existed in the first place, his cock lurched again. William saw it, Pinkie felt it. Both loved it.
Finally, William could take it no longer. He had to see what else this hole could do. So he opened his mouth alllll the way and dove in one last time, mashing his lips to Pinkie's rear end, fitting his mouth to her ponut in a naughty little smooch. He stayed stuck to Pinkie's ass like that for a minute or more, giving her booty passionate kisses that streamed together, a long, sloppy makeout with the naughtiest part of any pony. He kissed again and again, dipping his tongue inside, snorting her scent as he lapped up her sweat, losing his mind to the mesmerizing nature of it all. He felt like the stallion she'd been born to seduce, huffing her musk as he whinnied and fucked the air, clinging to Pinkie's ass like a drowning man.
Wet smack followed wet smack, his intoxication crept higher. He swirled his tongue around and around Pinkie's insides, faster and faster, a changed man, even more of a booty-fiend than before. He had to thank Pinkie... she'd turned him on to eating ass in a big, big way, and made him about as hungry for a cutie's rear end as a man could possibly be. He didn't just want to keep eating her ass now, he wanted to taste Rainbow and Twilight's butts, too!
But for the moment... he just wanted to keep chewing, tongue, grinding and squeezing the fat fucking slutbutt in front of him until the cows came home.
Of course Pinkie orgasmed again. Her butt was the most sensitive part of her body by far, and she'd spent all week dreaming about William eating her ass. Of course she was going off like a firecracker! And through it all, William clung to her butt with an obscene look on his face, snorting her body until it felt high off Pinkie’s fumes. Until his entire brain was stuffed with her ripe booty-aroma. He huffed and huffed and huffed and his dick got harder and harder and harder... until nature just, you know, ran its course!
"Uuuuuu!" he groaned, hips rising, suddenly and forcefully pulling Pinkie's ass into his face, cutting off oxygen, light, sound, making his whole world balloon-covered ass. He drank it in and drained his balls down the leg of his shorts, firing a triumphant salute to his total and utter conversion to her ass-slave, while his tongue ran rings around the pipe of pony-meat buried in Pinkie's ass that he'd fallen so utterly in love with.
Then he fell right back onto the bed, face stickier than ever with Pinkie's love juices. She giggled, and crowned her new booty-king the best way she knew how: sitting right down on his face and grinding him down into the tennis court until he was totally buried. It was easy when you had as much plump as she did.
"Heehee... You're a natural, Billy! Next, why don’t we...”
Click.
William and Pinkie Pie both froze. Her with bewilderment, and him with a sudden flash of memory.
Oh no.
That was the thing he’d forgotten. The drone. Recording their match. Streaming their match. Now every last pony watching from home probably had an all-too-real tingling sensation in the shelf of her donk from watching William eat out Pinkie’s ass... and those thousands of ponies would be needy for similar attention.
They’d also just seen him blow a fat fucking load of thick human seed all down his shorts and his leg from the act of eating said pony ass.
Fuck.
William picked up Pinkie, groaned in dismay, and - with his face shining red as a beat - barreled straight into the house.
Ancient Equine Analysis 2: The Second Course
All's Well That Ends Well
"Aaaagh! Twily! I really screwed up!"
Twilight lay curled up on the couch, as catlike as ever. She raised her head from the cushion to watch Pinkie tromp in.
"Oh, let me guess, you followed Rai - "
"I followed Rainbow's advice and now William’s super embarrassed!”
Twilight gave Pinkie her second petting of the day. "There, there. I’d say that’s in the top 3 possible outcomes.”
Pinkie clambered up onto the couch and helped herself to some of Twilight's chips, whereupon both ponies proceeded to thoroughly fail the Bechdel Test.
"I was just trying to get into Willy’s pants... but we ended up all over the tennis court!” said an exasperated Pinkie Pie. “ And now it’s all over the internet!”
Twilight poker-faced. "Well, that went from 0 to 200 fast."
“Twilight, I’m serious!”
Twilight nodded, sliding her chips back over to her side. “You wanted to get into bed with him, right? Why not just ask?”
“W - Well... I’m not as good with that stuff as you and Rainbow... I thought if I just put myself out there, he’d... y’know! Go for it! And it kinda worked, but...”
“Not the way you wanted,” said Twilight with a grin. “Now everyone online’s seen your whole fat butt.”
“Yeah!”
Twilight frowned, looking more put out for Pinkie than anything else. “Your old owner didn’t really teach you any of this stuff, huh? It’s kind of a flaw in our construction... As much as we’d like to claim we’re as worldly as our original selves, we don’t really have 9 seasons of character growth - ”
“And a spinoff and movies!”
“ - to draw on. But right now William just wants you to be comfortable. I’m sure he’d have gotten to the sex stuff later, once you were settled in.”
Pinkie rubbed her foreleg a little nervously. “Ahh...”
She looked back over to Pinkie as the house’s systems did their thing. “Look, I don’t have a wacky scheme to get you into bed with William like Rainbow did. Why don’t we just do things the old-fashioned way?”
“Talking.”
Pinkie gulped.
“... And that’s just about everything there is to tell you, William. Pinkie’s old owner? Nnnnot really winning any medals for their pony-rearing in the near future. So we wanna help her start over, you know?”
“Seems like the Friendship Network really helped you out then, Pinkie,” said William with a smile.
“Welll... It did get me pretty curious,” she said with a grin. “Meeting a guy like you in the flesh is a whole other thing, though!”
“Yeah, I get it,” William said with a nod. “In that case, you know... Let’s forget that whole tennis court thing, heh. Let’s start over.”
He thrust a hand out to Pinkie, and she nervously took it. Only to begin nearly shaking it off a second later. “Alright! Put it there, pal!”
One shaking concluded, William sat back in his seat looking relieved. “Now... Let’s be good friends from here on out. We’ll help you get nice and comfortable.”
Pinkie smiled, nodding. “Mm! I wanna be your friend too!”
William smiled. “That’s great, Pinkie, I - ”
“But I also want the sex stuff.”
“!”
“As soon as possible. Liiiiile... We can do it now, right?”
“Pinkie!” gasped Twilight.
“It just looked so fun! And last night I saw him stiff it right up - ”
“Pinkie! You were spying on us?”
“Only a little!! And it’s not like I hadn’t seen it before anyway!”
Twilight flushed as red as a pony could. “I think after today we need to make some things clear to our followers, so we don’t have a horde of Pinkies all banging down our door trying to hop into bed with William.”
Somehow Pinkie was already on the other side of the table with her hooves around William’s neck. “They’ll have to wait for me to finish first, then!”
William put an arm around the pink pony to support her body. Via a none-so-subtle grip on her pudgy butt, but he could hardly be faulted for that at this point. She shifted back into his hand, making sure his fingers brushed her ponut.
“Well... I guess I gotta take care of this, then,” he said with a laugh.
Needless to say, Pinkie and William couldn't get into bed fast enough. The second they got up from the table, they were heading for his bedroom.
Next thing he knew, he was stretched out back on the sheets, with a big, fat, curvaceous Pinkie Pie on top of him. It reminded him just how lovely this pony was... and not just in the terms set by those magnificent curves of hers. Pinkie Pie was a bright spark, cheerful, fun, warm, expressive... full of liveliness and energy. She was a rare catch.
The idea that any owner could consider this wonderful pony a burden was just too plain ridiculous to linger on for long. William just put it out of mind. It wasn't worth the time spent trying to understand it.
And right now, reality was presenting a much better use for William's time than all that silliness: the pink, perfect pony straddling him, still dolled up in her dreamy tennis uniform.
"Heehee... Alright, Mister, time for me to solve the mystery of what was makin' Twily and Rainbow make all those happy-sounding moans and grunts! I bet I know where to start looking, too!"
Pinkie had a mischievous look on her face as she arched her tail up around, swishing it through the air. The shape the tip took reminded him rather of fingers... an approximation further carried out as Pinkie reached down with it and snared the zipper of his pants.touch .
Naturally he started where any Ponk-maniac's hands would naturally be drawn to: that absolutely-enormous, rounded belly! Now how exactly was any man supposed to not go for a feel of all that, huh?
Starting with a little tuft of pink chest floof up top, it all soon became very degenerate from there, belly blossoming out with unstoppable size and attraction in a smooth, pink, contoured slab of sculpted tummy meat. This was a head-rest already. This was the ultimate tum, blown up like a balloon, wobbling under even the slightest amount of pressure, and with that deep-divoted belly-button in the middle to draw the eye. Nine times out of ten it was positioned just so as to hang so heavily it mashed against the colossal swells of Pinkie's meaty thighs, making a trifecta of awesomeness that were always jostling for space. It only trimmed in at the sides when it finally reached the fountaining excess of her hips and legs, just in time to give way to that monumental ass in back. Pinkie's lower body was like one big lesson in excess, mixed in with a little topology for good measure. Cushy, padded swells bumped together in an endlessly-heaving, wobbling tease parade of chub.
He'd thought Rainbow and Twilight were 'plump in all the right places,’ but Pinkie was rapidly teaching him there weren’t any wrong places to be plump, either. He'd never get enough of this.
"Ohhhh, looks like someone likes pony bellies! Just be careful! It can get pretty heavy, you know... Tick me off and I might even drop it on yer face!”
"Oh nooooo... Sounds more like a reward than a punishment."
Pinkie just snorted in response, looking like she was really about to do it... but she was interrupted by William reaching out for her. "Of course! It'd take more than a few belly-rubs to stop... meeeeeeeaaaaahhhhn..."
Her attempts to tease dissolved into lengthy groaning as William's fingers found her low-hanging, heavy belly, playing with it to his heart's content. Soon, he wanted to purr too: Pinkie felt silky-smooth, as well as ridiculously warm and inviting. As he gained boldness, and her pleasure mounted, his touches got more and more forward, straying all over. He went slow and steady, touching, squeezing, swooning inwardly at the giggles and rumbles and moans he elicited from the pink possessor of the pudge.
It really looked like rubbing Pinkie's tummy was like a cheat code for this little minx... Every time William touched her, she turned a little more cross-eyed and drooled a little more. She soon looked ready to crumble under her lust. "Haaah... Mmm, that's good... So glad I came here... C - Can't believe I didn't meet you sooner... Nnnhhh..."
Pinkie straightened her back, mewled, then doubled over as her pussy got wet. Her tail went stiff as a board, shooting straight up in the air.
"Mmmh... I'm so tingly there, be careful..." she whined, starting to move her hips, grinding her puss on his tummy to try to work off some of the tension building inside of her. "Haaah... I was sad Twily didn't wanna join us, but I guess parties for two ain't bad either! You certainly know how to make a pony feel good..."
Of course, she wasn't the only one getting worked up. William, a known and unrepentant equinophile, had a curvaceous, sex-crazed pony-babe rubbing away on top of him, squirming against him. Of course his cock was gonna come to life, starting to poke against that big fat butt! His head was swimming with thoughts of how that butt had looked under her skirt out on the tennis court earlier, how much that sheer display of excess needed to be thoroughly punished by a man: with a deathgrip on each bubbly buttcheek and a thick cock hilted right in the middle, making an absolute mess of that meaty ponut she called her booty-hole. Soon, he was giving her a few more pokes in back to show he meant business.
"You're not so bad yourself... It's a good thing someone can keep a naughty pony like you under control," he said back, casually pushing his middle finger down on her navel, repeatedly pressing that button that made Pinkie's body hotter and hotter.
Well that gave Pinkie cause to gasp all over again! If she’d had any doubts all her playing around with William wasn’t going to bear fruit... now she had a hard cock poking her right in the ass! The little knock-knock of an oppurtunistic asshole-stretcher was always just the thing to put a spring in that anal-addict’s step!
First Pinkie let out a squeal of surprise, then a long, drawn-out "Ahhhh" of relief... as if a Ponyville masseuse had just started in on her shoulders. Her building tension and anticipation of this moment was rolling over, turning to the sheer happiness of being in the moment of something very enjoyable. Pinkie looked blissed out as she looked back behind her.
"Ding~ Dick's ready!"
“And I’m gonna hog it all to myself!”
In a flash, Pinkie repositioned her weight, slipping down between William's legs, getting a good feel for the lay of the land. She 'oohed' and 'aahed' as she hefted up William's cock, grasping it with her spongy hooves.
"Oooh! Yummy!"
A monster loomed over Pinkie's face, a bloated, vascular shaft emerging from the thicket of curly black pubic hair around William's toned pelvis. How intimidating it was even at its current half-hard thickness, to say nothing of those heavy nuts... each one looking big enough to completely smother Pinkie's face.
Pinkie Pie, of course, was left reeling! Her eyes widened and her nostrils flared as she found herself face-to-face with such a potent example of human masculinity. William was a stud, a stud made to screw hot, sexy ponies like her. In no time at all her breath quickened, and her chest heaved, all adding to the laundry list of items indicating she was more than ready to get started on trying out some of those 'horse-human sexual relations' her galpals seemed to like so much.
"Mmmh... Wowie-zowie... You'd think a guy with a honkin' big pecker like this would have more of an ego problem..." She tilted her head slightly while looking him up and down, continuing to openly gawk at William's package. Her thick, pink tongue rolled out of her mouth to give him her first taste, sizing up that piece of meat, winking at him from around the meat slapped against her cheek. "Mmmm! Yummy!"
"Wew... You really are feisty... C'mere..." With Pinkie turning her head to mash her face against his pole, now giving it frequent licks, one of her big pink ears was sticking up in the air, and he found it with his fingers. First pinching it, then pushing past to cradle the side and back of her head, holding her comfortingly. She used the position to just attack his dick again, bathing him in her steamy breath.
"Oooouuuh... Thanks, mister!"
Pinkie was starting to get intoxicated with William's scent. She'd always wanted to find a guy who made her feel this way... someone who really made her get all giddy and excited. She was sure when she found a guy like that, with a big, yummy cock like this, she'd be all his... She'd eagerly be a toy for him to thrust his hard dick into, and she'd cheer him on as he pumped tirelessly in and out... until he left her a twitching, near-comatose cum balloon! Pinkie couldn't think of anything more fun than that~!
But being confronted with it now... Well, she had even less sense than she'd been counting on! To tell the truth, Pinkie was already starting to feel faint, the drip-feed of William's cock-scent to her nostrils had become more like a gushing hose, constantly pouring the stink of pure testosterone into her mind and soul.
"Auuugh..." She reeled from it, punch-drunk.
Pinkie sucked in a deep breath. Her tennis skirt had come askew, most of her bubbly pink butt sticking out in the rear now. She made a cursory effort to fix it, but really just made it worse. She had more important things on her mind at the moment.
Of course, there was nothing odd about a nude pony... The other fillies around his place went naked a lot of the time, lounging like cats with no concern for what they were presenting William's way.
But the effect of Pinkie slinking off that skirt, revealing that awesome venus-type body in full, was overpoweringly sexual in these circumstances. Coupled with how sweaty and moist she was and the effect was potent: a very strong feminine smell, full of pheromones, almost intoxicating.
Pinkie looked up at him, resting one hoof on his thigh. Love-hearts brimmed up in Pinkie's eyes as she continued licking and slurping his dick. She plastered her mouth to the side of his shaft and just sucked herself silly, savouring the taste as much as she could.
"Mmmh... That's really good, Pinkie... Do you wanna try sucking it now...?" William asked, hopefully, slowly working a finger down to her mouth. He almost immediately regretted it when she latched on to that instead, and ended up getting bopped in the face when she slurped it up like a spaghetti strand.
"Oof! Eager! But here, let me help you..."
He freed his hand from the ponky depths, instead wrapping his hand around the pony's smooth jawline. When he squeezed, Pinkie's mouth immediately gave up the ghost, slacking open like a cheap toy. She giggled, responding by flopping her tongue for him teasingly.
He pushed his thumb in there, probing her mouth, just marvelling at perfectly squishy and soft and gooey it all looked. Cartoon horses really were on a whole other level when it came to this stuff. She kept mostly still as he played around, aside from the occasional bounce from that crazy pink mane. "Whattaya doith...?" she asked curiously, and then almost immediately giggled again at how silly she sounded.
William kept going, pressing down on her tongue, slowly sliding his digit around to whip up a mess of drool inside.
"Hey, Pinkie..."
"Mmmyeaaath~?" she purred back.
"Wanna suck this dick?"
She nodded so much she almost shook his hand out of her mouth. Eventually he let her move around on her own.
"Then go for it."
She did. Pinkie wrapped her mouth around the head of his pole, and started to hungrily slurp him down.
William let her suck away like a greedy little girl for a good, long while. He'd long since realized ponies liked their dicks extra-fresh, and Pinkie looked to be no exception. The salty taste of his sweat sent her eyes spinning like a slot machine, the silly little filly shoveling his dick into her throat and vacuuming every last drop of his natural secretions. When she finally slopped her mouth back to the tip, she let out a hearty, happy sigh like she'd just polished off a four-course meal back in Ponyville. He didn't move at all during that time, just lay back and watched her greedily slobbering her way up his pole.
But eventually - just as she really getting into gagging out the back of her throat with meat - there was a change.
He put that big, strong hand back behind her upthrust ear, holding her in place while drawing himself completely free of her mouth. It took a while: he'd gone in semi-hard, but William packed the real deal now: a fully-erect shaft that rose intimidatingly, lurching with lewd throbs of anticipation with every second that went by. As it turned out, Pinkie's mouth did wonders for getting a dick hard, who'd have known? The trail of drool connecting her pretty mouth to his tip completed it, the marriage between monster dick and plump pony slut.
And Pinkie looked awful eager to consummate that marriage. She must have been able to vividly imagine her future as a cock ornament perched on the end of the virile monster, because she showed no restraint in going for it: even though it was obvious his hand on her head was meant to keep her back, Pinkie was going berserk trying to get after it, squirming and using her leverage on the bed to try to launch herself up after it. It was like watching a dog going nuts for a treat dangled over it, right before you dropped it.
"You might like cock even more than Rainbow and Twilight, you know... It's a good thing you found a guy who's just as bad..."
Rather than guide his dick into place, William moved Pinkie's head, holding her mouth to massive, foreskin-covered cockhead. By the time his tip settled on her tongue, it was beading with a heavy glob of precum. He stretched her jaw apart on the way inside. Then, he forcefed Pinkie inch-after-inch of pony-wrecking dick. "Mmmmh... Here it comes..."
"Mmmmh... Sho yummy... Can't get... Schhhhlurp! Enough... Schhhluck! ... Glllrkkkk! Mmmhhhhh! It tastes so goooood!"
Pinkie was being such a good girl right now. She punctuated each outburst with another hot slurp of the mouth wrapped around William's meat, worshiping exactly how she should. She felt like his saltiness was sealing itself to her tongue, to the point where it ached to even put it back inside her mouth after she was done licking him.
That was fine, though. Soon the rest of her mouth felt the same way. She sucked and sucked, pursing her little mouth tight around the head of his monstrous shaft, pushing the ring of pink flesh yet further down his length... and making fuck-eyes up at him the whole time. She flicked her tongue up and down his frenulum at high-speed, while squeezing and massaging his balls with her hooves. She wanted his cum. "Ooooh... Are you gonna fill me with cum now? Writing's on the wall, and it says it's time to paint Pinkie's insides!"
"Geez... You're... nnngh... out of control..." he grunted, right as Pinkie pushed herself down again. His dick was big, a little too big for a pony to handle down her throat easily, so Pinkie decided to take a break from that by jamming it right up her cheek with a playful wag of the tail affixed to the massive wall of ass behind her. "Mm-hmm!" she purred as she thrust down, turning her puffy cheek into something more like a pocket-pussy, the side of her face bulging out rather prettily. She wrapped both hooves around him and started pumping the cock mashing up her face, giving it slow, rhythmic pumps that steadily got faster and faster.
And with her forelegs propped up on his inner thighs, Ponk looked ready to do this all day. She continued babbling incomprehensible gibberish around his dick as she passed it from one cheek to the other, speeding up the hoof-polish on that big, hard dick of his that contrasted with her body in such a lovely comparison.
The message was clear: fill my pony throat!
"G - Guh...!"
He gave it to her. The inside of Pinkie’s mouth was just too good, and he wanted to feed her so bad. This pretty little pony wanted his cum so bad by this point, why not give her a heaping helping? His grip on her head turned a little more indecent, William hanging on for dear life as he started bucking his hips, lifting Pinkie up into the air. She squawked, exclamation marks bubbling up over her head in time with the first gush of cum... plenty of it leaked out her mouth and down his shaft as she was taken by surprise.
But after that, Pinkie started up a devilish suction. Her startled expression turned to one of joy, eyes rolling back in her head, mouth curled slightly as she vacuum-sucked his dick. His balls churned and sloshed beneath her, vibrating with the amount of cum they were forcing up, and Pinkie just drooled as she got the drip-feed treatment. Time after time, her stud's virile cock gushed up another hard shot of semen, and time after time Pinkie's throat glucked and glurked like a madmare, swallowing it all down into her pudgy tummy.
He didn't hold back. She clearly had room for everything he could give her and more in there. So he just flopped back onto the bed, gripping the sheets, and fucked Pinkie Pie's mouth until it was all drained out.
Finally, what felt like hours later but had only been a few seconds, Pinkie released his dick from her chops with a big exaggerated gasp, a "Fwaaaaaah!" accompanied by globs of semen dripping down her front. She swallowed as much of it as she could, before giving William a very satisfied look indeed.
"Now that's what I'm talkin' about!" she cheered.
"Wew, Pinkie, that was amazing... But I think I need a - "
"Now onto the main event!" she said with a grin.
William blanked. He looked nonplussed as hell.
But after a moment, he started to laugh, shoulders shaking with amusement despite the absurdity of it all. These ponies really were something else alright.
"Sure, why not. I can go for round two. Bring it on."
And then with a hop, Pinkie was back up in his lap! The wee pony was right back where she'd started, except now doing him and her both a favour by rubbing that turgid slab of dick against her bare, pudgy belly directly, unclipping her skirt even as she did.
Click. Oh yes, that was very nice.
Skirt off, big pony hips bare. Pinkie tossed it aside with a smile, before picking up right where she'd left off, smearing her drooling pussy against his shaft. "Well now... Where should we stick this naughty cock next...?"
"Pinkie... Mmm..."
William caught hold of his cock, giving it a few firm pumps to get it nice and hard and throbbing again. Not that it really needed the help with that sexy pony poised over him, ready to strike. He grazed it over her thick, juicy pussy-lips... then angled it down lower. Pinkie squealed, knowing exactly what was coming next. Her hungry ponut puckered in back as he pressed a hand against the top side of his twitching cock, making sure it was grinding just right against her puffy, defenseless weak spot in the rear. "Haha, come on... There's only one place I want to stick this thing... Are you gonna make me say it...?"
Pinkie huffed and puffed, groaning as she felt William circling the meaty entrance to her ass with that throbbing hot dick of his, poking it with the steely tip. She winced, trying to wiggle her ass to heighten the sensation, but just ended up dragging out scorching lines in her ponut with his cock... trails that tingled achingly hot and sensitive long after his leaking dick had made its way around and over to the other side. He kept on circling around her ponut, teasing the living shit out of this poor, tormented pony, making Pinkie howl and buck her hips even harder.
"Oooouuuuhhhh! Say it! Say it!"
"Ghhh... Of course it’s this ass... This big pink ass... Like you didn’t know that, when it’s so huge and lewd!”
“Yesss....” Pinkie squawked in response, bouncing it, heaving her rump, making those massive meaty cheeks clap and wobble for him. William deserved a round of applause for his honesty, after all.
And without a thought, he went right for her. William wrapped both hands around Pinkie's ass, squeezing his fingers deep into her balloon-covered flanks. She arched her back, crying out again, leaking a sticky mess all over his belly as she popped off hard. He gave her a little taste, dipping the tip of his member into her fat asshole, immediately hissing at just how hot she was in there.
Pinkie's butt almost immediately tightened, wanting to slurp him up and inside. He had to fight to keep the tease up, and not just mentally: Pinkie's big ass made for a big power gap between her and other ponies when it came to spine-tingling anal sex. Even a few seconds in those oily depths, getting squeezed not just by her butt muscles but the overwhelming weight of her huge gut... it might be enough to finish a guy off!
But for all that power, Pinkie was still looking like a weak little filly. Unable to get William inside, she was left futilely grinding her hungry hole on his meaty shaft. Her eyes were totally bubbling over with love hearts as she lustfully assisted him in her own torture, exposing her need more and more. "Haaah... Give me anal sex!! Eeeeeever since I saw you ramming it up Rainbow and Twily's butts, I've been... Ooooohh...! I've been wanting to try it tooooo!! Mmh... Please!" Pinkie grasped two fistfuls of her enormous mane, twisting them in an antsy tug as she continued leaving a dripping trail up William's belly. "Oooohhhh!! Getting h - hard to think!"
"Ohhh... I can't hold it off any longer either, Pinkie... You were good, mmm, here's your reward... Good girl, good girrrrllll~~" William gave it to her, and Pinkie sighed happily as his cock slid up into her, pushing her hips back at him immediately so the pressure was coming from both ends. He thrust up into her ass at the same time she sank him inside, until he felt his cock bathed in the warmth of Pinkie's insides. Once again... cute cartoon pony with big innocent eyes and a sweet smile on the outside... fiendish dick-milking maniac on the inside!
She looked so small in his lap there was no way it should have all fit, but boy did it ever! She sucked it down until her ass thudded in his lap, just like every other pony he'd ever fucked.
And now William had his worked-up cock deep inside Pinkie's steamy ass, he was getting all the pleasure he'd been waiting for and more. Pinkie's booty was like no other, her warm insides wrapping him tightly. At the spot where they were joined, her ring cinched around him like a condom, an enormous amount of muscle put to the task of slithering up and down his pole, contracting, extending, contracting, extending... all in a highly-efficient, highly irresistible milking pattern! Each time Pinkie moved, she stimulated his shaft with pulses like electricity. "Haaahh, that's so goooood... oohh... I'm so glad you're here, Pinkie...! I'm so glad we're friends! Fuck, ahhfuck~"
"Oooooooo...! Yeahhh! I love making friends~! ♥ I want to be best friends with you, Willyyyyyy! Ooooooooh!"
The sex-crazed pony arched her back, huffing, rolling her eyes as her pounding in his lap rewarded her with her first anal orgasm. That tension around his pole got a lot harder, and made his cock ache a little bit worse... so while she just froze up in his lap as a drooling mess, he coped as best as he could by slamming Pinkie's ass even harder, railing her silly, bouncing her around until her mane was askew and sweat poured down her face and body. When she finally got her gusto and tempo back, she doubled down on him, grinning, wagging her tail in the air. "Ooh! You play rough, Mister! Well take this! And this and this and this!"
"Ahh... Ahh... Ahh... Ahh... If... If it's this kinda fight..." she continued, dropping her hooves onto his chest with two 'plap's, beginning to use them as leverage to ride you. Soon her hips became a blur in William's lap, just about pushing him over the edge right then and there. "I won't... looosssseeee!"
William threw his head back, moaning, clutching the bed tightly... The feeling of Pinkie's comparatively petite body lifting up and aggressively pushing back down, filling her insides with his member each time... he was thoroughly enjoying himself! time. "Yeah... Yeah... I can see that... Ah, you're so good, don't stop, don't stop for even a second...!" With his hands completely off Pinkie's body, he left her free to do as she pleased. Thankfully, she had the best in mind for both of them.
"Yessir~! Not stopping... sir! Mmmmhhhh!"
Pinkie suddenly slammed her hips down, losing control, on the verge of crying out from how good it felt... groaning as she orbited his cock with slinky sways of her gigantic hips. "Oooohhhh! Best friendssss! ♥"
Pinkie seemed to be completely gone now, just riding him to the finish line, her next orgasm shaking her body. All induced by his dick, their lust for each other, and her desire to make William as happy as he made her.
They were sealed together. As if he'd had any doubt about it, now he was sure: now he had three pony asses to pump his sperm into, and this one was the biggest yet.
William finally took charge, using Pinkie's climax to get on top of her, pushing her down onto the bed mid-climax, climbing on top of her and doubling her little body over. He pushed her legs back against her belly, and thrust with full vigour into her defenseless body. "Kkkhhh! You're so cute...! So damn hot! Gonna cum!" Pushing in as deep as he could fit, he started grinding into her, feeling Pinkie's ponut on his shaft down to the base, his balls, his belly, suctioning him, glueing him to her, demanding he cum. He drained his balls into the pink pony looking up at him adoringly, even as she wormed her legs around, dragging her sock-clad hooves down his bare, heaving chest. He released one honey-thick ejaculation after another, finally putting down the hunger in Pinkie's booty, driving her down into total cock-drunkenness!
"Hooooooh!" Pinkie's eyes shot wide-open now, her mouth an orgasmic 'O' as she howled through her second orgasm and straight into her third. She couldn't help it! The feeling of a man's cum pouring into her ponut, filling up her stomach... was just way too good. "Oooohhoooooo!"
He used her like an onahole. She felt like an onahole. She liked it a lot, and tightened on his cock, squishing him with her folds, holding him tightly inside of her. It might be a pretty unbecoming move for a kid's show character to give out lovey-dovey cock massages with her ass, but that's just how Pinkie was now. "Ahhh... Don't gotta be jealous of Twily and Rainbow no more... Now I'm getting what they get~ ♥"
Rainbow Dash had long since trotted back in the door after a long day of chasing cars and barking at them, but Twilight still didn’t feel the need to bother Pinkie and William juuust yet.
“Geez, they’re really goin’ at it,” laughed Rainbow, the sound of continued lovemaking easily reaching them through the thin walls.
“Yeah, no foolin’. Pinkie’s a devil... He’s gonna be a dried-up husk by the time she’s done.”
“Hey, don’t underestimate William! I bet he can hold his own just fine!”
Twilight’s eyes flashed. “Oh yeah? Wanna make it a bet?”
Rainbow slapped her hoof, sealing the agreement. “Damn right. You’re on, egghead.”
Unfortunately for them, it would be a few more hours before any clear victor emerged between Pinkie Pie and William in the bedroom. As good as glued together at the hips and mouth, kissing the other silly as they fucked like maniacs... both those tangled lovers were playing for keeps, and then some.
“... This is stupid. They’re taking forever.”
“Yeah, I know... Wanna get takeout?”
“Oooh! You bet!”
They trotted outside, leaving the two lovers to their continued consummation.
“... Gonna need to update the Friendship Network when they’re done. That’s gonna be an all-nighter, huh?”
A few days later, Pinkie and Twilight sat on the roof, watching the sunset. Both ponies were covered with a light sheen of sweat, one well-earned after an intense workout session with William.
“Heehee... It’s really beautiful out here,” murmured Pinkie, staring off into the middle distance.
Twilight nodded.
And a moment later, Pinkie continued: “I’m... real glad I came out here, Twily. Getting mixed up with that stampede must be the best thing that ever happened to me.”
“Tell me about it. We’re lucky to have you here too.”
“... And I’m so glad I finally got to have sex with Willy,” giggled Pinkie.
Twilight laughed. “Even if you never did that stuff, he’d - we’d - still be lucky to have you around. Who wouldn’t wanna spend time with the Pinkamena Diane Pie?”
“Mm, I know. The stuff in those videos did look like a lot of fun, though.”
They both laughed, and Pinkie went back to watching the sunset.
A little later, Twilight took a deep breath.
“Sex is nice, don’t get me wrong... Rough sex is even better, but we’ve got all the time in the world. Let’s take it easy, mm?”
“What do you mean, Twily?”
"Well... You had fun playing tennis with William earlier, right?"
"Well, sure," answered Pinkie skeptically.
"So if you and William didn’t have sex, you’d still be able to - "
Pinkie began to protest, but Twilight cut her off. "Just suppose for a second!"
“There’s a lot else to appreciate about him, we’re lucky. He puts up with my picky eating... takes care of us when we’re sick... Even if the sex wasn’t amazing , a guy like that should definitely be getting pony ass in his lap.”
Pinkie smiled. “I get it. Become friends, then get into bed.”
Twilight laughed. “Right. Our relationship’s a little more nuanced than just using each other for sex... So just keep doing things together and eventually it’ll click.”
“I’ll tryyyyy! Thanks for helping me get my head on straight, Twily!”
“Mmhm. Don’t mention it. This world is different from our cartoon show in some ways... but when it comes to stuff like this, it’s completely the same.”
“The sun and the seasons move on their own, and their technology can make our magic look primitive.”
“And not everyone is nice,” murmured Pinkie thoughtfully.
“Right. But we can still play the game like ponies. We can still figure it all out at the end of the day with friendship and tolerance.”
Pinkie shot up a hoof. “Hear, hear!”
