Saccharine Arcadia

Kay! A thanks to three friends of mine who allowed me the use of their OC's in this chapter. I'll give the actual credit in the comments, but just making a note to thank them here too! Also, thanks to all the readers and their continued support.

Chapter 10: Education Never Was A Strong Point…

Canterlot, Royal Palace, Entrance Hall:

“Please… not… another… flight… of stairs…”

Celestia turned to the human. “You really should be fitter than this… I estimate there is no excess fat on your body…”

“That doesn’t mean I’m fit!” Rob got out between more ragged breaths.

Dash hovered up into the air and did a loop around the human, smiling. “Maybe I should train you then!?” She spiralled again, as if to mock him.

Rob just looked at her with an amused expression on his face. “How about… No.”

“Awww, why not?” She pouted.

From the side, Applejack piped up. “If he don’t wanna Dash, he don’t wanna.” She glared at the pegasus, trying to get her point across.

Rob smirked. “Yeah Dash, and I dun wanna!” He stuck his tongue out at her, eliciting the same response back from her.

She slapped him with a wing and settled down to the ground, tucking her appendages back down to her sides and ruffling them slightly. She was about to retort, when she heard a cough coming from one of the nearby ponies. The three of them turned to look at the origin of the voice, and saw Twilight scowling at them from beside Celestia, who instead, wore a cheeky smile. Luna on the other hand, wasn’t sure how to react; it was as if she wanted to join in, but also, reprimand them for their immature behaviour. She settled on standing and staring, something that appeared rather neutral.

Rob faced them and stared for a moment. “What?”

Twilight sighed. “I’m just wondering how you get away with these things…” she shook her head, closing her eyes.

Rob laughed at her, leaning back and placing his hands on his hips. “Ahh, Twilight… It takes a twinkle in the eye, and a smile on the lips, that’s how!” She sighed again.

“Do stop teasing the poor mare, Arc.”

“But she makes it so fun!”

“That’s irrelevant.”

“Oooh~ Soft spot for the protégé, eh?”

“Maybe…”

“Sister?” Luna nudged the sun princess, causing her to blink and stare back at her dark equal.

“Yes, Luna?”

“You appeared transfixed by something; is everything ok?” She had concern in her voice.

Celestia smiled at her sister, and patted her side with a wing. “Yes Luna, everything is fine.”

“Adorable!”

“Shut it!”

“Anyway,” Celestia began, “This is where we must leave you to attend to our royal duties.”

Twilight looked sad as the princess moved away, though she understood, and perked up a little bit when Applejack placed a hoof on her shoulder. The farm pony knew just how much Twilight missed being with her mentor. The move to Ponyville came with one main great cost for the unicorn, and that was being apart from Celestia.

Celestia turned back to her student, “Don’t worry Twilight, we’ll be together for the evening. I was hoping you’d all share dinner with my sister and I?”

Twilight nodded enthusiastically and hopped on the spot, as if to release some of the pent up excitement. “T-That would be wonderful Princess!”

Celestia moved once again, towards the large doors leading back into the main interior of the castle, and threw her head over her shoulder as she did. “Then it’s settled. We will see you all later then.” And with that, she departed with her sister by her side, out of the castle foyer, leaving them alone with only Valiance.

Rob turned to the guards pony and looked him over. Valiance was a white stallion, and now that he’d taken his gold helmet off, Rob could see a red streak running down from his forehead to his muzzle. It looked like a scar, but on further inspection, it was simply the pattern of his coat. The rest of him was a pure snowy white, with the exception of his cutie mark which was a Shield covering the sun. The shield was intricate in its design, and for a cutie mark, very detailed; the sun was in the background, and was the same as Celestia’s cutie mark. The shield in front of it was of a silver colour, and a pair of crossed swords was etched into it, defining protection it seemed. There was some form of minute inlaying around the edge of the shield and around that, a purple glow. His mane was a deep red with single blonde streak running down its long length.

“You’re with us eh, Val’?” Rob remarked to the protector.

“‘Val’, sir?” The pony replied without changing his facial expression.

“Yep, or would you prefer to be called something else? Because I can do that, just don’t make it-”

“Valiance.” He replied matter-of-factly.

Rob scratched his chin. “Well, I was going to say ‘too long’, but that works too I suppose… A little boring though, wouldn’t you say? Imma stick with Vali or Val, yeah, that works!”

The pony sighed. “If it so pleases you, Sir.”

Rob patted the pony on the shoulder, trying not to be condescending as much as possible. “That’s another thing, enough with the ‘Sir’ stuff; I am really not someone special…”

Valiance looked at Rob, expressionless as always. “It is because you are a guest of the royal Princesses. I have to conform to regulation.”

“That sounds: Boring. As. Fuck.” Rob deadpanned the pony, who scowled back. “Seriously, I can’t do regulation… But you know, kudos if you can, you are a better man, uh, stallion than me. I just cannot take orders.” Rob walked over to the main doors, stretching his arms. “And so, back to my original question; you coming with us Val?”

The pony simply nodded, silent and steady.

Twilight joined Rob, accompanied by Rainbow Dash and behind her, Applejack. The purple unicorn addressed the group. “Well then, are we ready?”

They all answered with varying degrees of enthusiasm, and Twilight continued, “Alright then, our destination is the Canterlot University!”

“Wow; that sure is an inventive name…” The human commented sarcastically.

Twilight opened the main gate with her magic and strolled out into the courtyard, heading for the main gates which they had entered in through no more than an hour ago. They passed the pony that was stationed at the entrance, and he let them out, closing the golden gates behind them again.

The trip to the university was dull. Canterlot, for the most part, looked the same. Rows upon rows of housing lined every street, and were only broken up by the odd side alley diving down into the deeper realms of the city. The sun was high in the sky, and Rob could smell the inner city musk. It wasn’t as bad as back home in the city, but was still far different to back in Ponyville.

Soon, the city changed into a more rural-outskirt looking area, there was a distinct reduction in the amount of houses, and an increase in the amount of trees, much to the human's liking. It was still urban, but the land had become more open and less structured. It took Rob a while to notice that they were in fact, walking onto a campus.

Not soon after that, a large building came into view. It was a huge brown wall, effectively. Rob looked up at it. There was a large clock face about four stories up, and numerous windows dotted around the various levels of the construct. Far to both the right and the left, were the corners of the building, which Rob guessed, also went a long, long way. In amongst the various patches of foliage, were more buildings all of a similar size. The campus was huge, and spanned quite the large area. Despite the huge architectural feats, there was still a lush feeling to the place, something that resonated well with the human.

The five-some, led by Valiance, approached the first building, and headed inside through the modern sliding glass doors. There was a front desk and numerous chairs, it looked like any standard foyer, and in the usual fashion, there was a receptionist pony behind the counter. She was engrossed in reading something, and appeared not to notice them entering, flicking over the page of her reading material without a second glance.

“She looks bored as fuck.”

“But then again, I think I would be too, sitting around here all day…”

Valiance coughed, making the pony aware of their arrival. Without even looking up, she turned over another page and spoke, “Fill out a form and take a seat please…”

Without a word, the guards pony calmly walked up to the desk and raised his hoof, slamming it down with astounding force right next to the receptionist’s head. The whole thing shook, and her glass of water spilled all over her reading material, turning the pages to mulch. Irritated, the pony glanced up and began to rain a tirade of abuse at the stoic guards pony, before realising who he was.

“Go Valiance! Oooh! Valiance gone BADMAN!”

“Smack a bitch!”

Upon noticing the armour, and the insignia of the sun etched into it, she rapidly calmed herself and began apologising profusely. She rose from her desk and walked over to a door behind her in a fluster, spouting out reasons about why she was lazing about, trying to justify her actions. She seemed to be rifling through some paperwork, but to no avail, for she never found what she was looking for.

No sooner had she entered the room though, there was another sound from behind the group, and they all turned to see three new ponies enter the building from outside. There were two females and one male, although, one of the mares appeared to be only a filly.

The eldest mare was a dark charcoal colour with a poufy grey mane and tail. She had light blue eyes and a caring face, which was gazing at Rob with a light smile. She was a unicorn and wore grey glasses, which rested low upon her muzzle, allowing her to look over them. Her cutie mark was a highly intricate design of circles. Rob couldn’t fathom it’s meaning, but from what he could see, they appeared to be expressing some form of formula, and were exceedingly complex, overlapping in some cases. Although she was fully grown, and not as small as the other mare beside her, she was a petit pony, a little smaller than Twilight and a lot smaller than Applejack in terms of build.

Rob turned his attention to the next mare of the group, the small filly-like one. She too, was a charcoal grey colour, although her mane was a vibrant but deep moss green colour. Her eyes sheared these characteristics and were a wonderful shade of jade. She was a unicorn, and this was apparent from the small protrusion tucking out from behind the green mane covering her forehead. Her cutie mark was rather intriguing, as it depicted two orbs, one white and the other black, with wisps of each fading into the other, in a sort of cycle formation. It was as if they were extending and sharing. This cutie mark however, Rob noticed was only on one side, as on the other was a root-like substance, ingrained into her coat. The root was of a golden yellow colour, and spread across her flank, a number of different tendrils extending from the centre. Rob questioned the pony’s age.

The last one of the trio was an ocean blue stallion. He had a two tone mane, coloured half mottled blue and half sky blue. His eyes were a deep sapphire and framing them, were a pair of rectangular glasses. He wore a smile, although he seemed pretty tired, and stood behind the two females. To be fair to the guy though, he did tower over them, he looked like a father out with his two daughters. The stallion’s cutie mark was of a pair of crossed blue lightning bolts with a coil running through the centre of them. In the middle of this coil there was a bright patch of white. Just like the first mare, it was a highly ‘science’ and ‘math’ based cutie mark; from the human's first impression anyway.

The trio moved closer to the five-some in the foyer, and all of them tried their best to ignore the pony shuffling around in the room in the back. The first mare stepped forward, the one wearing glasses, and stood before the four ponies and human.

“Hello, all.” She warmly greeted. “The Princess has informed me of your little trip to our university, and I am Azure, the principal of this place. Do just call me Azure though.” She smiled and walked up to Rob. “You must be the human about whom we keep hearing so much of…” She licked her lips, eyeing him slyly. She made him see her as she did it, as if on purpose, as she continued. “I can see why…” She slowly paced back towards the group, adding a little distance between herself and the human.

“Ummm… Hello Ms Azure…” Rob started, unsure of where to go from there. He simply sighed and rested his hands on his hips, giving way for Twilight to speak.

“It is good to meet you Ms Azure, it’s a lovely place you have here.” Twilight flattered the small pony.

“Isn’t it just,” She remarked. “Anyway, as for these two, we have Cobalt Pulse,” She pointed to the stallion, “And my daughter; Brew.” She gestured a hoof at the small filly-like girl. “These two are top scientists at the university, and I have full confidence that we can help you with whatever it is that you need.”

The small filly nudged her mother’s leg, and the charcoal mare continued. “Ahh yes, don’t be alarmed, but my daughter is actually a little older than she looks.”

Applejack spoke up. “Err, how old exactly?”

Azure smiled at the farm pony. “She’s twenty!”

“T-Twenty!?” The orange mare coughed as she spoke, receiving a nod back from the dark unicorn. “She looks no older than Apple Bloom!”

“Well, it’s easy to understand if you have any knowledge of Leechwood. Do any of you know what that is?”

Twilight, the ever studious one spoke out, “Isn’t it something used in extreme medical emergencies? I thought it rebuilt highly damaged areas of the body and replaced it with its own?”

“That is essentially correct Ms Sparkle, however the details are more specific than that, but I won’t bore you all with them.”

The purple unicorn spoke out again, “But, there are problems with Leechwood… There are reasons they don’t like to use it… I-I thought that it drastically reduced a pony’s lifespan. For her to be look that young and still be alive… H-How is that possible?”

“A very astute scholar I see, The Princess’ faith was not misplaced. Once again, you are completely correct. Leechwood lifespan varies with a number of factors; strength of soul, extent of damage and one last thing.”

“One last thing?” Twilight panned her head curiously.

“Yes,” the charcoal pony replied, “outside intervention.”

The group of ponies were all intrigued now, those of them who knew what was going on. The two other scientists seemed interested by the subject, although Brew looked like she’d heard it all before. Cobalt simply swayed on the spot, intently listening, despite the fact that it seemed to be almost draining him of any remaining energy. Applejack was also listening, although the finer details seemed to be going over her head, and Rainbow had become bored a while back, and was flitting about aimlessly. Rob on the other hand, was in a similar position to both Applejack and Cobalt, he was interested, but that interest conflicted with the growing feeling of wanting to sleep.

Twilight continued her questioning. “You mean, ‘you’ don’t you?”

“Astounding, I must say, so very, very observant of you. Yes Ms Sparkle, I do. You see, I hate to say it, but Brew would have… Passed away a long time ago had I not intervened with magic.” Twilight nodded for her to continue. “Brew is sustained by soul swapping. It’s a process which involves swapping a charged soul with a ‘used’ one for use of a better word. Leechwood feeds off of soul energy; it sustains itself and gives back to the body using drained life force. However, these souls drain pretty quickly when feeding two mouths, and so I devised a technique to recharge souls. By swapping one soul for another, the first gets a chance to recharge, while the second feeds the Leechwood, and in the process, the pony in question is kept alive.”

“T-That’s clever, that’s exceptionally clever…”

“Wow, it’s unusual that we see Twi shaken up over something theoretical.”

Azure continued, “Yes, well, it wasn’t as easy as I make it sound, I spent almost one whole year tirelessly working on that, and nothing else. It, in essence, is what made me the Principal of the university! The last old coot was on his way out, and I made the Leechwood breakthrough as they were looking for a successor.”

“And so they chose you?”

“Exactly! I was looking for a new job anyway…” There was a moment of silence. “But enough of that, let’s get down to business, eh?”

“Finally! I can only look like I know what’s going on for so long!” The human burst out.

“You have absolutely no tact, do you?” Twilight nudged the human.

“Nope!”

Brew trudged up to Rob. She barely came up to his thighs. “So this is the human, eh? He’s taller than I thought he’d be.”

“Maybe you’re just short?” He responded before laughing.

The little pony didn’t take this statement too kindly though, as she reared up and slammed herself down on his feet as hard as she could, a triumphant smirk on her face. “Yeah well, who’s laughing now? Not so funny is it-” She started, before being cut off, when all she saw was a hysterical human above her.

“T-That was…” Rob broke out in laughter again. “That was ad- Hahaha, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, frickin’ adorable!”

The little pony simply retreated, pouting. Rob turned to the blue pony at the back, “So what’s your story big man?”

Cobalt shook himself out of his semi-awake state and turned to the human with his baggy eyes. “Me? Well, I uh, I run the electro-magic labs here at the university…” He yawned, “They brought me here because they were told I could help out with… Whatever it is you need help with…”

“Full of life I see, well, I’m sure we’ll all get on just great.” The human paused, and thought for a second. “Wonderful! Introductions are out of the way, and with Rainbow Dash falling asleep, I’d say we’ve achieved all of our goals here, whadda ya say we get down to business?”

Canterlot University, Electro-Magic Tech Lab 7:

All the tech labs looked the same. On the way to the one they were currently in, Rob had peered into a few others. Like the rest of the university so far, the whole thing was rather hi-tech. There were expensive looking machines in each of the rooms, all which the human assumed were designed for some form of important task. The room they were in now though, was a simple lab, with no fancy equipment, only rows upon rows of work benches and a number of whiteboards lining the walls. It was painted in a stark white and there was a long stretch of windows along one of the walls.

Splayed out on one of the work benches, were Rob’s instruments; iPod and phone. He wondered why the ponies would even want to help him out, after all, this was simple tech where he came from. He simply put it down to curiosity; they hadn’t seen anything like this before, and being scientists; wanted to study it. He couldn’t fault them for that, after all, he was often curious himself. He remembered back to earlier that day with the magical wardrobe…

Brew leaned over the desk, perched upon a stool cleverly placed around the other side. “You say this one is completely dead?” She referred to the phone. Rob nodded in response. “Well, let’s… Hmmm… This right here… Aaaand, let’s move that… Flip this bit over and… Haha!” The small pony smiled and raised a small hoof high as she loomed over what was left of Rob’s phone.

“Y-You’ve completely dismantled it! How the hell did you do that without a screwdriver or something!?”

She winked, “Magic!”

“Of course it is…” Rob sighed.

The human glanced over to the other side of the room, where Cobalt had cleverly drawn up a diagram on a whiteboard, full of numbers and complicated mathematics. Azure and Twilight stood around him, nodding in that ‘sciency’ manner, and occasionally ‘mmm’-ing when he drew something new.

Rob and Brew had been given charge of the objects themselves, while the others were trying to figure out the maths behind them. Rainbow and Applejack had headed out to look around the campus, and Rob had last seen them following the signs leading towards the cafeteria. Those two sure could put it away.

Brew was intently staring at all the little parts that came out of the dismantled phone, floating each one up in her magic and rotating it, getting a look from all angles. She’d then put that piece down and do the same with the next.

“What does this part do?” She asked him, her eyebrow raised.

“I have no frickin’ idea, girl.”

“How can you not know? This is your thing right?” Her green mane bobbed as she spoke.

Rob pulled a stool out from underneath the desk and perched on it, leaning forward. “Well, yeah. But I have no idea how it works, I didn’t build it. It came to me like that. You’ll most likely have to go to China if you wanna know how this thing’s made. I could show you how it works when on, but to be honest, it’s dead, and in one million pieces right now…”

Brew just looked at him for a moment. “Well, I’ve worked out what most of it does already. We just have to replace the inner workings with crystals.”

“You, uh… what?” He waited but got no answer. “Oh, and kudos for figuring it out that fast! You’re like another little Twilight!”

“I’m not little, ok?” She glared up at him, briefly taking her eyes off of the floating parts.

“Well, you are… But I just paid you a compliment, be a lil’ nicer, eh?” He teased back.

She gave a little ‘humph’ and got back to her work.

Rob glanced over to the other ponies and noticed that the white board had become even more covered in ink. There were equations and what he assumed to be glyphs all over it, some were even interlinking.

“This is no place for me… I totally should have gone with AJ and Dash. They had the right idea. Sciency people never really hit it off with me; I’m too thick for this!”

Rob strolled over to the others, leaving Brew to her musings. “Whatcha got going on over here then?” He poked his head into the group.

Cobalt piped up and began his droll explanation. “We realise that all your technology runs off of electricity, and we are devising a method of transferring all of the power over onto crystal. If we enchant crystals to take place of the wiring and battery, we can leave all of the original components in place. You’d not need to charge it, as we will add a mini generator crystal to the circuit; as one works, it charges the other, and alongside that, the crystals will feed off of the natural magic in the air. The higher the concentration of magic in the air, the more charge the crystals will receive. Simple.” The blue pony finished and leaned against the wall, his eyes still half lidded.

“Yes… Simple…” Rob looked at the pony. “Dude, are you alright? You look knackered.”

He nodded slowly, “Yes, I’m fine. I’m used to working at night you see, and because of your coming, I was forced to be awake in the day too.”

“Haha, my bad! So, you’re nocturnal eh, I know a few people like that where I come from too!”

“For different reasons though…”

The blue pony smiled somewhat, and turned back to the calculations on the board, crunching numbers out in his head Rob presumed. Azure bumped Rob with her flank and giggled.

“It sure is a rare opportunity to study technology from another world!”

The human turned to the charcoal mare, “I’m sure it is. And you know, seeing as you all like it so much, it’s a shame I don’t have anything else for you to study.”

“Oh, I can think of a few things I’d like to study…”

“Riiiiight…….”

“Ummm… Thank you?”

She nudged him again. “Any time, dear, any time.”

“I am legitimately scared right now.” He whispered, making her giggle again.

The two were broken out of their chat by cries from across the room. They turned to see the small green maned pony hopping up and down excitedly on her little stool. “I’ve done it! I’ve done it!”

Rob ran towards her. “Sweet! … … … What have you done!?” He continued running towards her.

She did a little spin on her stool to face him, “I’ve found out the integrity of the coexisting parts and the crystal ratios we need to secure the link!”

“Yay!” Rob replied, picking the small mare up and clutching her to his chest.

“What the fuck is she talking about!?”

“I have NO idea!”

“Fuck it!”

Rob span with the little filly in his arms, and she began giggling! He tucked his hands under her forelegs and lifted her up to the ceiling, much to her delight as she squealed and laughed.

“Awww, she’s so cute!”

“I want a pet one!”

“If you two are quite finished?” Azure smirked.

Rob did as the mother commanded and put Brew down, much to the disappointment of the pony in question. That was, until she realised what had just happened and blushed, trying to hide her apparent embarrassment. She began shuffling a hoof back and forth along the edge of her stool, attempting to make herself even smaller.

Azure faced her daughter. “So we know how all the connections work, now we just need to figure out the methodology and how we can make the parts interchangeable with the current ones.”

Brew nodded. “I think I have an idea about that too.”

“Wow, it sure is like having a mini Twilight.”

Azure moved around to her daughter’s side and looked at the dismantled construct. She too began to levitate the pieces within her magic and look at them. After a few moments of pondering, she spoke. “I see… I presume you were thinking of using crystal embedded wire too?”

“Why is everything here crystal?”

Brew nodded and stuck her tongue out a little, something which was apparently a little habit she had while thinking. “I was thinking of replacing all the wires and replacers with crystal, leaving the base screen and memory components, but running all of this through new generators and magically charged batteries which charge on the magic in the air, providing the concentration of magic is thick enough.”

Her mother looked thoughtful, “Very good. If Cobalt can work out how to implement all this, the theory is sound.” She nuzzled her daughter a little, eliciting a mix of happiness and embarrassment from Brew.

Rob spoke up. “Wow, so… Just like that? You sciency people have all this figured out?”

The two nodded and Brew replied. “In theory; yes, in practice; no, not so much.”

Rob shrugged, “Well, whatever, you guys seem happy in your little ‘sciency’ element here, so Imma just leave you all to it.” And so he walked back over to Twilight and Cobalt.

Canterlot University, Cafeteria, Outside:

“This sure brings back memories, AJ, feels like only yesterday I was back in school!”

“Dash, you only went ta flight school, ya never went anywhere near ta’a place like this.”

“I could have if I wanted to!”

“Nah Dash, ya couldn’t have.”

“Are you calling me stupid?”

“Nope, I’m just sayin’ that you aren’t clever enough to go here. None of us are, except maybe Twilight…”

“Yeah well, no one is meant to be that much of an egg head…”

“Would you have even wanted to go ta college or university?”

“No way! I like to be free, not told when I need to hand stuff in! School is stuffy, and learning can never beat real life experience.”

“Well, Ah sorta see yer point there, but learnin’ has its place. Think of it as a startin’ point for the things ya experience later.”

“Yeah well, I never went, and I turned out great!”

“That’s up for some questionin’…”

“So AJ, you’ve been stuck on a farm all your life. Ever met any cute guys?”

“Wha-? N-N-No… No way! No time for that! Apples! Apples ta buck!”

“Awww, really? That’s no fun! You’ll be old before you have any fun!”

“W-Well… T-That’s ok… I mean, I’ll find the right stallion when the time comes…”

“Well, yeah, but… You totally gotta have some fun before then!”

“’And I s’pose you’ve done that eh?”

“Ugh… Yeah, of course!”

“Really?”

“… Err, no. But I’m gonna!”

“Dash, yer only two years younger than me, you have yer whole life ahead!”

“You’re tellin’ me! That’s what I keep saying to you! Go out and get some!”

“Err… No. Ah’m ok Dash… But if you see a cute colt, go get ‘em!”

“Oooh, AJ, what about Valiance? He’s an earth pony! You two could hook up!”

“W-W-With one of the royal guards!? I don’t think anypony’d be alright with that…”

“You’re an element bearer! We can pretty much do what we want with these.”

“Now that just don’t seem right…”

“Where is Valiance anyway? I haven’t seen him for a while.”

“… … …”

“AJ…”

“… … …”

“AJ!”

“… … …”

“Applejack!”

“Whaa? Whoa, Dash! Not so close to mah face, alright?”

“You wouldn’t wake up!”

“Oh, sorry about that… Looks like Ah fell asleep there…”

“… I noticed.”

“So, uh, what were ya saying?”

“Oh, right! Where’s Valiance gone? I haven’t seen him for a while.”

“Ah think he went to the armoury. Somethin’ like that anyway…”

“They have an armoury here!? Why aren’t we there!?”

“Ah heard they use it ta train the new recruits for the royal guards. Somepony’s gotta do it, and the university decided they would.”

“But… Valiance is a royal guard already; he doesn’t need to go there?”

“Dash, he’s the head royal guard for Princess Celestia. Think of what it’s like for them new guards to meet somepony like him. That’s like you meetin’ the Wonderbolts, Ah think it’s a pretty big deal.”

“Ahh, I suppose so… He could have kept us company though. I’m bored.”

“Dash, you’re always bored.”

“Aaahhh! So bored!”

Canterlot University, Grounds:

“Aaahhh! So bored!”

“This place is tearing me apart! Too many intelligent people, I’m starting to feel really stupid!”

With a moan, Rob continued his stroll through the grounds of the university. The science lab had become boring, and after a while, not only did the equations mean nothing, but neither did the speech. It was all another language to him, and to be honest, other languages were never his forte either.

At some point between refraction variables and mediated replacement, Rob had decided that a walk was necessary; and what better way, than by introducing himself to a number of ponies who had never seen him before while walking around the campus. With luck he might also find Applejack and Rainbow too, although his primary concern, was food. The lack of meat in Equestria readily available to the public was somewhat crippling to the human, who found that all the grass and leaves didn’t really fill him up.

“Kay, well then, food… No grass, no leaves, and sure as hell no flowers. Seriously, I’d eat tofu at this point, and that shit’s rough…”

Rob had just passed another large school building and entered a more social looking district. There were shops and eateries around every corner, and Rob realised for the first time just how large the campus was. Flicking his hair out of his face with a huff, he set off to scout out the area.

“Celly… Celly~ … Anypony home?”

“Will you please refrain from calling me that!?”

“Ugh, yeeea-no. I like it.”

“Tch, fine, what is it? I’m kinda busy here.”

“Well, ugh, you know how it is; I just thought it was a really nice day, and I wanted to share that with someone! And seeing as you’re stuck off in that big-ass castle, I figure-”

“You’re bored, aren’t you?”

“Eeyup.”

“A Big Macintosh impression?”

“Eeyup.”

“Is it really that catchy?”

“Eeyup.”

“Stop that!”

“Nnnope.”

“Aaaaarrrgh! I don’t have time for this! Pester her instead!”

“Her?”

“Hello?”

“Hello?”

“Arc!?” / “Luna!?”

“Did Celestia do this?”

“I believe she may have…”

“Sweet. So, know anywhere good to eat around here?”

“What!? For a start, I don’t even know where you are, secondly, why do you think you can use a royal princess as a holiday brochure? And lastly, what makes you think I’m any less busy than my sister?”

“I dunno, I hadn’t really thought about it to be honest. I simply figured you’d just be lazing around; you mainly deal with the night, right? Well, I figured the day was like your time off?”

“Why does everyone assume these things?”

“Who knows…? So yeah, another thing; how does Celly know about Mac? There are tons of ponies, and she seems to know them all on a first name basis… It’s weird.”

“Well, for a start, the Apple family are rather important; they provide a large percentage of the apples in this region of Equestria. And secondly, he’s the brother of one of the elements of harmony; that makes him rather important, understand?”

“Kinda… So, Lulu, any ideas on where I can grab some munchies?”

“Lulu…? Munchies…?”

“Yes, your new name, and food.”

“Can you please refrain from calling me that, it’s unbecoming?”

“Awww, I think it’s cute and highly becoming!”

“Augh, you humans…”

“Humans? Plural?”

“Never mind…”

“So, Lulu, chop-chop, food. Any ideas?”

“Not within your price range.”

“That’s cool. I’ll stick it on your tab.”

“W-what!? On what authority are you able to do that!?”

“On the authority that I’m the only one of my kind, known to be relatively good friends with both the elements of harmony and the two ruling princesses of Equestria. Sound about right?”

“Y-you… Fine! Humph! There’s a nice place on the corner of Sycamore Avenue.”

“See, that wasn’t hard! And I thank you Princess, for donating to me both your wallet, and your kindness.”

“How does my sister put up with you…?”

“She has her ways, trust me… I’m cringing just thinking about some of them…”

“I’m not sure I understand.”

“You don’t want to, trust me… Well then, thanks, I’ll be on my way. See you back at the castle!”

And the connection dropped dead, fleeing his mind suddenly with a snap. Walking down one of the many pathways of the university, Rob looked out for some sort of clue as to where he was. The human realised that he was once again lost, something that was happening with an all too uncanny frequency of late. Sighing, he walked over to a group of nearby ponies, all eyeing him with an uncertain curiosity.

“Sup, anyone know where Sycamore Avenue is?” Rob asked of the group, strolling towards them rather nonchalantly.

“I-is that the human…?” One of the group whispered to another, receiving a jerky nod back as a reaction.

Rob focussed his attention on them again, with more conviction that last time. “Look, I’m not here to overthrow Canterlot, using the university as my primary base of actions after enslaving all of the ponies under my harsh and brutal rule. Trust me on this; I’m too lazy for anything like that. So, now we’ve established that I’m just a dude who is hungry, can one of you please point me to Sycamore Avenue? That’d be great thanks.”

“It-it’s over there,” He raised a hoof, pointing at a nearby shopping precinct looking area, “go past the Royal Mall and hang a left after heading around the back of it.”

“See, that wasn’t so hard, was it? When I enslave Canterlot, I’ll keep you alive! See ya!” Rob turned to walk away, leaving a group of fairly startles ponies behind him, all shuffling nervously.

“My god that’s fun!”

It took a fair few minutes for the human to find where he was going. Despite the directions given, fate would have it that he got lost again. Eventually he arrived on Sycamore Avenue, even if at the wrong end of it. He began traipsing down its length, keeping an eye out for anything interesting.

The place was fairly quiet, with only a few roaming ponies lurking about. The human proceeded down the road, past many eateries and shops until he saw two familiar faces; those of Rainbow Dash and Applejack, both looking a mix of perturbed, disgusted and worried.

Rob’s attention was next drawn to a rather inebriated looking pony, swaying about in front of the mares, all four hooves being controlled in a highly uncoordinated manner. How the guy stood up was anyone’s guess. Rob sighed, the pony had no tact; it was barely even evening yet, who would begin to drink at such an unreasonable time? While sauntering down the road, watching the pony with a faint sense of bemusement, Rob approached the two mares.

“Evening you two. How’s it-” He began.

“Shtay back missh!” Rob was cut off by the drunken pony. “It could be dangeroush…” He swayed back and forth.

“Equestria is really out to get me lately…”

The human pulled a confused hand up to his chin, scratching it, and looked to the new pony from the two mares behind him.

“Have you even met me? I wouldn’t; nay, I’m pretty sure I couldn’t hurt them…” He gave the pony a coy look. “Besides, I have a dodgy arm right now.” He lifted the cast up for emphasis. “See, I aint hurtin’ nopony!”

The drunken pony in question was a numb turquoise colour with a vulgar purple mane, wearing a shitty little fez hat, just behind his horn. Rob thought that he looked like Twilight, only with the contrast whacked way, way, way up and the hues played with. Oh, and male. …And with a fez. On second thoughts, he felt disgraced to have even made the comparison. Rob began to walk towards his two mare friends, giving the newcomer a wide berth, after all, instigation seemed to happen a lot in Equestria; with one person getting the wrong end of the stick the most of the time. With Rob’s luck, this pony would completely misunderstand the plea for peace, and instead-

“Put ‘em up!” The pony called out, loud enough for the other passers-by to hear.

The human stopped and stared at the now bouncing pony, who was somehow brandishing his hooves in a threatening, aggressive-like manner, while rearing up on his hind legs.

“Really? We’re doing this? Just because you have a shit colour scheme doesn’t give you the right to go fucking with people in a drunken rage at…” Rob looked down at his pocket, before remembering he didn’t have his phone, “god knows what time in the evening!” he finished.

Being broken out of his rant, Rob looked over to the side, where he saw a now laughing Rainbow Dash, rolling on her side whilst watching the story unfold in front of her. It seemed that misery and human torment were her two new favourite things, and right now, she was getting both in heaps.

“Glad this amuses you, Rainbow…” Rob said sarcastically, shrugging to the disapproving Applejack watching silently from beside her friend, an ever dependable vigil in case anything untoward was to arise.

“Quit shtallin’!” The drunkard shouted again, almost tripping over himself as he tried to remain on his rear legs.

“Dude, you are clearly in no state to be fighting right now… Look at you… Or not. You’d probably see double if you did…” Rob turned to the other ponies around the area who were watching. “There’s nothing good for you to see here folks! Just a strange otherworldly creature battling off against a fucking ugly drunk pony! Go away! Please?”

The crowd just laughed at his declaration, stomping their hooves as if to ask for more, while many more ponies joined the ever-growing crowd from the back, determined to see the once in a life time show. Rob mentally chastised himself for thinking the situation would have gone any other way, and kicked the ground in annoyance.

“Damn college kids… Well, at least I’m making friends everywhere I go, that’s a positive, right!?”

“Tch, if you call this friendship.”

The drunken pony had appeared to have had enough of the human’s ramblings, though; and began a very lopsided charge, aiming straight for Rob. Only the cry of his name from Applejack snapped the human out of it, as a now ‘on four legged’ pony endangered his health.

“Arc!” the farm pony called, prompting the man in question to turn around reflexively; just in time to see a set of hooves coming straight for his face.

Rob yelled out, his eyes wide, as he jerked his hands up to protect his face and ducked. The human barely got any time to notice what had happened before the second assault came. “The hell!?” He shouted rhetorically to no one in particular, before indulging in a tirade of abuse towards the pony trying to kick his head in.

Shifting to the side, the human got a glimpse of Rainbow still laughing her flank off at the side of the road, as he clumsily dodged the down facing hooves of the drunken pony, as the rear came to an end and the pony fell back to all fours.

The cobblestone ground didn’t give much grip, and the human struggled to keep his balance after throwing himself out of the way of yet another ‘rear and buck’ from the inebriated pony. After getting to safety, Rob turned just in time to see the blue unicorn fall on his face with a sickening thud. His body then slumped over to the side, hitting the floor. The human simply stared for a moment in wonder, with a face that read; ‘What the hell did I just witness?’

“Right… Ummm… Now that that’s over, I’m gonna try and get my food, AJ, Das-”

“Shtop right there!”

“Criminal scum? Did he just get back up?”

Arc rolled his eyes; “Sunnova!-”

Rob turned to see the blue pony standing back up, a trickle of blood running down from his lips. Despite the evident pain, he still had a carefree and jubilant air about him. The human was a mixture of surprised and amazed; he was surprised that the guy stood up, and that none of his friends had come to help him yet. He looked over to AJ, and noticed that the usually dependable, orange, pony, was also engaging in fits of laughter, right at the side of her rainbow companion.

“And the cast doesn’t help any…”

“Whash wrong, af-afraid of getting ya flank handed to ya?” The pony stammered again, tripping over himself once more.

“Wha? No. You’re stupid, stop it, stop that! Go away, and let me get my lunch.” The human looked to the sky before sighing. “Or… Dinner now…” He turned to face the drunken pony a little better, noticing other bystanders now, in his peripheral, laughing. “Great… Ok you fuckstick, you have one more chance to back the fuck down, or I will pull out some uh... human-hybrid-power shit on your ass!” He began walking up to the unicorn.

The pony reeled from the verbal assault and tried to brush himself off, despite failing miserably; and by this time, Rob was in his face, finishing his speech. The unicorns eyes were glazed over and the human got his answer as he received a hoof to the side of the face, sending him sprawling to the floor.

Letting out a loud grunt, Rob collapsed to the floor; clutching his face is relative pain, accidentally punching himself in the head with the cast again in the process, adding to the accumulating pain. The floor felt cold on his cheek as he lied there, motionless, wishing the day would just end then and there.

“Ok. That stung a little. Just don’t cry. Not again. And ESPECIALLY not in front of Dash. She’ll never live it down!”

Getting to his knees, Rob rolled over onto all fours, just in time to see a horn going right for his face as he looked up. Shocked, he veered to the left and fell back onto his ass as the unicorn lumbered by clumsily, tripping over his leg, and falling into a heap on the ground next to him. A few moans were heard, but nothing that showed any sign of the unicorn sustaining an injury; he seemed to be quite the resilient pony.

“See, you bastard, that’s not funny! Now I’ll have to open up some whoopass on you; human style!” The teenager declared, pushing himself up onto his feet, and walking over to the unicorn on the floor. “Suck on this!”

The unicorn seemed not to be expecting the boot to the ribs as the human hit and ran, taking a rather cowardly approach to the fight, as he darted off back quite a large distance away. Catching his breath, Rob prepared to unleash yet another tirade on the drunken pony;

“You punched me! - STOP laughing Rainbow! - Anyway, YOU punched me!? Fuck you!” Rob accused from a safe distance, pointing at the fez adorned pony with a finger while the onlookers cheered and laughed at the strange showdown. “And all of you!” Rob started on the crowd, “I hope you all step on a Lego!”

This however, only prompted more hysterics from the various university students around Sycamore Avenue. The human knew that any form of conversing was futile at this point, after all, he and this new pony had put on a show comparable to something most likely seen at a circus; and if Equestria was anything like Earth - they were getting for free, what they would usually have to pay for, and who doesn’t like free stuff?

“Figures… Saturday night in a university, and EVERYONE is looking for a drunken fight…”

“Take him down, Arc!” Rainbow yelled, breaking into fits of laughter again right after.

“Don’t encourage this, RD, a lil’ bar fightin’s not a problem, but if this goes too far, then ah’m gonna step in.” The farm mare responded responsibly, trying to contain the pent up laughter.

“To hell with the both of you!” The angry human called back, barely audibly over the noise of the ever growing crowd.

“Hey, Lulu. You know how I was going for dinner?”

“Lunch?”

“Please don’t bring that up… Well, I may have got into a little fight along the way…”

“A f-fight? With whom, can’t you just apologise?”

“Not exactly, you see, he may be a little drunk…”

“Aaah~ Uni, I remember it well…”

“No reminiscing, please!”

“Sorry, what may I help you with?”

“Can you st- Aaakkk!”

Rob was snapped out of his thinking by a hoof latching around his throat and throwing him to the floor. Some coughing, spluttering, and a lot of pain later, Rob opened his eyes to see a worried face looming over him; the emerald eyes of Applejack. Despite the agony coursing through the top half of his body, Rob still managed to sit up and look around. Apart from the caring eyes of Applejack, he saw a nonchalant Rainbow Dash, a number of gasping spectators and the back of the drunken pony as he waddled off into the crowd.

“I don’t think so, fuckwit.”

Raising his good hand and leaning forward as well as he could, Rob thought deep, going inside himself. Using the emotion of anger and… hunger, he forced his mind to tap into the puddle of magic within. Twilight spoke of being calm, but currently, it seemed a lot easier to harness the inner energy with emotion.

“What to go for, what to go for…”

“Bingo!” And with that, the human aimed his good index finger at his drunken foe, who by his point, was walking away casually, as if nothing had even happened. The action in question only served to make Rob all the more determined in his quest, and he once again, fuelled the fire of magic with these thoughts.

Feeling the build-up of magic in his chest, he willed it down his arm and all the way to his fingertips, where a warm sensation began to take over. One, “Fuck you!” Later, and he released the pull, sending a bolt of magic over to the drunken pony. A loud ‘crack’ was heard, and everyone looked about, trying to discern its source. Rob looked back up to Applejack who was still hovering over his collapsed form.

“Arc, what did ya do?” She gave a hardened stare.

Rob looked to the drunken pony, where there appeared to be no change. He sighed. “Apparently nothing.”

“That’s probably for the best- What in tarnation!?” Applejack was broken off by a cry from down the road.

“Hot! That’sh hot! Hot, hot, hot!” The blue unicorn wailed, hopping about clumsily, as his fez burst into flames atop his head.

“Huzzah! Triumphant! Dunno what that noise was all about, and that was still a poor show of magic, but fuck yeah! It has uses! … … … Ugh, AJ, can you help me up, my back hurts?”

With a sigh, the Stetson clad pony trotted around the human and extended a hoof, pulling him up. She then returned to the roadside and did the same to Rainbow, who was still laughing her flank off from the show she’d just witnessed.

“Up Rainbow, come on.”

Through the onslaught of laughter, Rainbow managed to get out a few short words before choking. “At… Least it’s not… boring anymore!”

“See, you’ve gone and caught yourself out, Rainbow. Stop foolin’ around, and help me get this sorted out!” The farm pony then turned back to Arc, “And if ya ever pull that stunt on mah hat, things are gonna get ugly…”

After the coughing and spluttering had ended, the two ponies helped disperse the ever investigative crowd and clueless drunken pony. They then turned their focus to Arc who had an increasingly swelling black bruise under his left eye. The human couldn’t yet feel it, but it was rather large, and from the expressions of the two ponies in front of him; he guessed something was wrong.

“What?” He inquired.

Applejack nudged the pegasus beside her. “He’s gonna be feelin’ that one in the mornin’!”

“What?” He asked again, a little more worried.

“Sure is AJ. I remember when I crashed a while back, and my eye didn’t look as bad as that one.” The pegasi mocked, extending her wings for a brief moment to accentuate her point before tucking them firmly against her sides a moment later.

“M-my eye?” The boy reached a hand up to his face. “D-did this happen when he punched me?”

Rainbow trotted over to him and flew up, moving her face close to his. “Yup; but you didn’t cry this time~ that’s a bonus!”

After a brief attempt at swatting her away, the human sighed once more and looked to the slowly setting sun. “Screw all of this. I’m having dinner.” And with that, he set off with two ponies in tow, for the nice little place on the corner of Sycamore Avenue.

Canterlot University, Electro-Magic Tech Lab 7:

“And with this… we’re done? Already?” Twilight asked curiously. “I like to think I keep up with my studies, but that last part was way out of my league…”

Azure patted the purple mare on the back with a gentle hoof, “Don’t worry Twilight, you’re highly intelligent for a mare of your age. The fact that you were able to keep up with an experienced old mare like myself, a child prodigy like my daughter, and a stallion of comparable intelligence like Cobalt is remarkable!” She finished with a ring to her voice.

“Y-you’re just saying that, really, I’m nopony special…”

“On the contrary dear, you are special, and truly a gift to Equestria with abilities such as yours~” Her sing-song voice played out again.

Interrupting them, from the side shuffled Cobalt, levitating the human’s goods in his magical grip. During the time Rob and the others were gone, the team had managed to replace the entire inner workings of the devices with crystal that harnessed the pure, raw magic in the air. The scientists had explained how unrefined magic isn’t dense enough to use for powerful spells or anything, but can be used to aid the working of a few things; most notably, small devices like these. The only real trouble was the compatibility issues between human and Equestrian technology, but luckily, they had managed to overcome that with a new form of resistor and special crystal wiring, something that baffled Twilight.

In his dull, tired accent; Cobalt reassured Twilight with the same sentiment as Azure;

“She’s right. You can keep up with me, and that’s something only few can do. The way you helped not only formulate and calibrate the new parts, but also install them, was rather impressive.”

During his speech, Twilight had gained a blush from all the praise, and was trying her best to hide it, “I-I’m not that great, guys… Seriously… I let you down on the construction areas…”

“But you still did well for somepony who’s never done it before!” Brew spoke as she hopped off of a nearby stool and trotted over to Twilight.

“Thanks,” The purple unicorn began, “I appreciate it a lot.”

Sycamore Avenue, Lower Street:

“Did you see the look on that waiters face when you told him to stick it on the princesses tab!? It was a-mazing!”

“Yeah well, Luna speaks in my head too now, Rainbow, and she didn’t seem to mind… much. Besides, it was damn good food, even for a human like me!”

The sun had set, and the two ponies and human were making their way back to the lab to pick up Twilight before heading back to the palace. Luna was right, and the three had enjoyed their meal greatly, eating everything the restaurant had to offer it seemed. It would not be far off an exaggeration to say that Rainbow and Applejack had eaten most of the menu. The two of them sure could put it away, and luckily, not pay the price afterwards. The bill had been sent to the palace treasury and would be dealt with by Luna’s accountants, and because of this, the trio didn’t have a care in the world; after all, it isn’t every day that the princess of the moon donates her wallet.

“Seriously, I can’t believe you fought with that guy!” Spoke the pegasus, bounding into the air and hovering above the human, flapping her wings gently in the cool night air.

“Well, he stood between me and my food…” Rob raised an eyebrow at the mare, wincing slightly from the pain.

“So, it aint because he was eyein’ us funny or anythin’ then?” Applejack smirked, knowingly putting herself in a position of power over the boy.

“Well… ugh… it may have been because of that a little bit…”

“Ah knew there was some pride in ya somewhere! I’ll tell ya one thing though, that fancy magic was a lil’ strange though…”

Rainbow flew a little closer. “Yeah, what was that?”

Applejack patted the human by bumping into his legs, reassuring him that is was ok to tell them. Rob looked down at his hands, inspecting the finger from which the magic had come from. “To be honest, it was meant to be something greater…” He returned the stares he was now getting from the two ponies. “Not like, a fiery inferno or anything, just… ahh, I dunno… something more… Magic truly is difficult…”

“You set a pony on fire!”

“No Rainbow, I set his hat on fire. There’s a difference.”

“Well, it was still funny.”

“Yes. Yes it was.”

Soon, the threesome had arrived back at the lab, full and content that their day was nearing an end. Rob wanted nothing more than to just get back to that huge bed and fall asleep. If Celestia was good at anything, it was accommodation. After passing a few more of the huge building blocks, and seeing numerous ponies out after dark, partying and drinking, the trio made it back to the block Azure had originally led them too. It was one of the only remaining blocks with the lights still on. Stepping out of the darkness, they entered the warmth of the building, and proceeded into the lab with Twilight and the others in it.

Upon being noticed, they were greeted by smiles all round, and an excited Twilight, who instantly bounced forward upon their entry. “Arc; we did it, we did it!”

Rob looked at the mare, part in confusion, part in happiness. Ponies being happy naturally made anyone around them happy, or Rob found this to be the case anyway. “Did wha-?”

He was interrupted by the purple mare leaning on him with her forehooves, looking up at his face with concern; “What happed to your eye!?” She leaned in a little closer, causing him to blush a little. “And you’re going very pink too…”

“I’m f-fine, just a little fight I got into.” He averted his eyes and backed away, forcing her to return to all fours.

“A fight!? With who? Are you ok!? The Princess told me to look after you, and now you’re hurt! She’s going to be so mad! I can’t believe I let this happ-”

“Twi, I’m fine. We both got away all right, and I’m sure he’ll have one hell of a hangover in the morning… me, well, a stiff back; but no, nothing too bad happened, the princess will be ok with it, trust me.”

“M-maybe… maybe I’m overreacting just a little bit…” The unicorn turned around, a little embarrassed about her display.

“Yeah, a little, let’s call it that…” Rob responded sarcastically. “Besides, it’s late, and being tired makes all of us go a little crazy…”

The lights flickered somewhat, and Azure stepped forward, smiling brightly as ever, breaking the human from his monologue. “What Twilight was trying to say,” she cleared her throat, “was that we’ve managed to fix your items.” She indicated a free hoof over to the workbench behind her, where the human’s technology laid.

Rob gazed past her to his belongings. “Sweet. So… I can like, have these back now?” The human started to approach his items, when a drowsy blue unicorn waved a hoof absently, getting his attention. It appeared as if Cobalt was too tired to actually make an effort to speak, and so instead, decided to flag down the teenager instead. Rob looked at the poor guy. “Yes?”

Yawning, the scientist rubbed his eyes with a hoof. “Would it be alright with you if I kept your belongings here a little longer? Overnight maybe? I… I would like to,” he yawned again, “study them further.”

Rob shrugged at the guy, “Sure, that’s fine. Not like I’m expecting a text or anything.” With a wave of his hand he turned and headed back over to Twilight, “Just don’t break anything.” He chuckled.

Arc got no reply from the pony, and opted not to push conversation further, instead he looked to the three ponies with which he had come; Applejack, Twilight and Rainbow Dash. It was funny, just looking at them here and now brought forth strong feelings. He’d not known them long and yet, in amongst all these other strange ponies; he still considered them to be his most important friends.

He smiled.

“Azure, Cobalt, err… Brew?” The human looked around and saw Brew curled up on one of the benches, obviously tuckered out from a long day’s work in such a small body. “Well, forget Brew then, pass this onto her when she wakes up; I just wanna thank you guys for helping me out with this. Seriously, a few home comforts are nice in a whole new frickin’ world. No music would have driven me insane…”

“It’s just nice to help.” Azure spoke up. “Besides, it’s not every day we get to meet someone such as yourself.” She winked, “Next time, you’ll have to let me do some ‘biological’ tests instead…”

“... And on that note, thanks again; bye!” Rob exited the building swiftly, accompanied by the sound of Azure’s cheery laughter and three ponies trying to keep up.

“My god… I’m all for sex, but I’m not used to girls perving on me, it’s usually the other way around!”

“On a side note; where the hell is Valiance?”

Royal Canterlot Palace, Throne Room:

“… And that concludes the day’s events, Princess!” Twilight finished; speaking to the ruler about the days various activities.

The convoy had arrived back to the palace fairly late and had immediately searched for the princess. Twilight enjoyed being with her, and thought it was necessary to report back, although Rob thought that was just an excuse to bump up the ‘teacher’s pet’ score that had been slowly diminishing during her departure from Canterlot. Once again, they all stood in the throne room, only this time; Rob was pondering why there were so few chairs in Equestria. He put it down to the advantage of having four legs, that was at least doubling the time a pony could stand in comparison to a human! At the very least a human like him, who couldn’t even manage a flight of stairs without complaining. His legs ached, and he wanted rest.

All in all, the random musings were simply down to how tired, bruised and bored the human was. He was waiting for any excuse to go to bed, and unfortunately for him, none came. Things got worse when Luna also appeared and wanted to rant at him for spending such a large amount of money at the restaurant. He managed to shrug off her barrage with a few well-placed nods and a number of grunts, and eventually she left him alone, deciding it was better to go and huff in the corner instead. He was just glad that she didn’t want to push the fight that he was involved in, Twilight had made the whole experience sound a lot worse than it actually was, and the boy was worried that another discussion would make the day last longer, and keep him from his bed once more.

After what seemed like hours, Celestia announced that it was time to turn in. Raising the sun in the morning called for early-ish nights, and for once, the human felt genuinely grateful towards the sun princess.

Not too long later, and after an irritating number of stair cases, the human found himself at the door to his overly large magical chamber. The purple hue didn’t deter him as he pried the door open and peered inside the black of the room. He didn’t even hear the chorus of ‘good night’s’ as he stumbled towards the bed, letting the door close itself behind him with a faint click.

“Show yourself, soft, quilty goodness… God it’s dark in here…”

Eventually the human made his way to the bed, and slumped down on it, barely managing to kick his shoes off before pulling himself up to the pillow and resting his head on it. He sighed and laughed a little, noticing how this was one of the rare occasions where he actually ended up sleeping in the bed designated for him, as opposed to a sofa, hospital or floor. With one last chuckle, the human was asleep, falling deep into the void of unconsciousness.