Saccharine Arcadia

Chapter 11: The Return of the Human.

Canterlot Castle, Royal Bedchambers:

The human awoke to sunlight piling in through the open blinds. Why anyone would forget to close them he didn’t know, he only knew that whoever had forgotten to close them deserved a swift beating. The prolonged exposure to actual daylight stung the teenager and forced him to pry an eye open, something which aided the previous discomfort, when he remembered the giant welt under his eye from the fight the day before.

“Great…”

Propping himself up on his elbows, Rob sat up.

And then slumped back down again.

“Nope. Too early. Back to sleep.”

Turning over, Rob pressed himself into the pillow, revelling in the soft, sleek and warm comfort it gave. Everything was peaceful again, that was, until the pillow coughed. Rob opened one eye.

“My pillow was definitely not blue yesterday… Nor did it have a multi-coloured trim…”

“Rainbow?” Rob questioned, prodding the sleeping pony beside him.

He honestly questioned if he was still sleeping, after all, he was pretty sure he went to bed alone, and yet now, there was a snoozing little cyan blue lump of fluff beside him, breathing away gently.

“Meh, I’m tired, she’s tired, snuggling is fun. Sleepy times…”

And so Rob drifted back off to sleep, one arm clutched around Dash, pulling her into his chest. Overall, he was comfortable, and soon, sleep found him again pretty fast.

“Arc? Why are we in bed together?”

Rob opened his eyes once more, only to stare into his own reflection shining back from two gigantic magenta orbs. The first sentiment Rob chose to display was confusion, and he did so by raising one eyebrow and giving Dash a “huh?” in response to her question. The second was a sly mischievous sentiment, which he chose to act upon by pulling Dash close and whispering, “good morning, hun” in her ear.

This action caused the pegasus’s face to light up a bright shade of red, and prompted her to jolt out from the humans arms and fly up and away, probably as far as she could. Whether due to her only being awake for a brief moment, or whether the human’s response had anything to do with it; Dash successfully managed to ram herself straight up and into the netting covering the top of the bed, tangling herself in a wonderful mess of blue feathers, rainbow mane, and purple cloth.

“Kay, Dash, I was pretty sleepy, but that is amusing in such a way that I am instantly awake. Sooo… kudos on that.” Rob stared blankly at the tangled mess on the bed next to him, earning an irritated scowl back from the pony in question.

“Very funny, now help me out of this mess.” She ordered, motivating Rob to get out of bed and actually get up.

Untangling the pony wasn’t the problem, and soon she was free; the problem came when trying to attach the rather expensive looking netting again. It had ripped in multiple places during the crash and now was only being made worse by the two’s pathetic attempts at fixing it. In the end, after a few laughs and jokes, they opted to simply ignore the problem and shove the netting under the bed, never to be seen again. After all, running away from a problem is always the best course of action. Why fix when you can avoid?

While fixing up the rest of the bed, Rob turned to the cyan pony, “So why were you in my bed? At first I didn’t care, then I wanted to joke, and now I am actually curious.”

Dash gave a quizzical look back to Rob. “T-this is your room? I thought you’d come into mine!” She looked rather embarrassed, before her eyes widened and a look of realisation came about her. “Although…”

“Although…?” Rob leaned in.

“I did go out for a fly last night, you know, because the mountains are great for that… And I may have gone back inside through the wrong window.” She looked at the human sheepishly. “Err, sorry about that…”

Rob shrugged her off, waving his hands about for emphasis, “You made a good pillow and that’s fine by me.” A devious smile crossed his face.

“W-what…?” The pegasi replied, unsure.

“Wanna have a little more fun?” He said, throwing back the covers once more.

Twilight woke up and set about her usual morning routine. First, she brushed her hair, secondly, she washed, and lastly, she did all her other bathroom ablutions. So far, the morning was treating Twilight well, she’d slept peacefully and without any disturbance, and now, she felt ready to tackle the day. The itinerary for the day consisted of getting up herself, getting the others up, having breakfast, packing, returning to the university, and finally, heading home.

With nothing more to do, she set about item two, and exited her room, heading across the hall to the adjacent room, the one belonging to Rainbow.

“Rainbow! Time to get up!” The unicorn called through the door.

“… … …”

“Rainbow! Wake up!”

“… … …”

“Fine, well then, I’m coming in, and you WILL be getting up…” Twilight grumbled through the silent door, irritated to be having to start the day that way.

Using her magic to twist the knob, the purple unicorn entered her friend’s room and surveyed the area. The usual bed, mirror, table, cloak stand and chest were all there, but no Rainbow Dash. Twilight gave the room a once over and exited, surprised that her friend had managed to get up in time for once. She thought about checking on Applejack, but knew from experience that the farm pony was probably already up, after all, AJ had to be out and bucking trees by this time normally. Twilight decided to leave her till last, because even if she wasn’t yet up, she would still be the easiest to get up.

“Rainbow… She’s never up this early… Something must be up…” Twilight mumbled under her breath, making her way to the human’s room just down the hall.

“Arc! Arc! Are you awa-” She stopped, noticing the door was slightly ajar.

Twilight tried to peer through the crack but couldn’t see anything of note, and instead, chose to nudge the door open a little further. Much to her surprise, the whole thing swung open, revealing the entire contents of the room. Twilight then gasped, blushed and recoiled all at the same time, stammering the word “sorry!” over and over again as she fell backwards out of the room.

The view was ingrained firmly in her mind and she couldn’t stop looking, as there, on the bed, wings erect, was a blushing, gyrating, and bouncing Rainbow Dash, straddling the young human who was also thrusting upwards in a rather perverse manner. Not only that, but on Twilight’s entry, the couple had started to make grunting and moaning noises. It was as if they wanted to be caught… Both had large grins on their faces as they faced the door during their highly explicit actions.

“Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! Sorry!” Twilight pushed herself out of the room as fast as she could, dragging herself along the floor, trying to extinguish the image from her mind. She soon found that she couldn’t retreat any further though, and was instead, pushing up against something, or rather, two things, which were blocking her path.

Looking up, the unicorn spotted the confused looking face of Applejack looming over her. Applejack’s expression didn’t reassure Twilight in any way, and instead, only unnerved her more. Why wasn’t she embarrassed or confused? What if anyone else saw this?

“A-Applejack! L-look!” Twilight couldn’t help but glace back through the doorway, securing yet another image of the frightful sight.

“What in tarnation!? Twi, don’t tell me ya fell for that…” Applejack peered over Twilight’s fallen form and into the room, where a now snickering pair was looking at her from the bed, smiles wide on their faces. “RD wouldn’t do somethin’ like that, besides, look at him, Twi, Arc’s still got all his clothes on.” The farm pony turned her attention to the mare at her hooves and grinned, “See? They were just havin’ you on.”

“Wha…? No! T-they w-were-!” An exasperated pony tripped over herself, scrambling back to her hooves frantically.

“Nah, sugarcube, they aint; look again. Trust me.”

Twilight, despite being firmly set in her views, knew better than to doubt the element of honesty and once again turned to face the door with a gulp. She partially expected the two to still be going at it, and fully hoped for it all to be a joke, after all, how would she deal with two of her close friends doing… that?!

It took courage to face the door, but when she did, Twilight was warmly greeted by the sight of one human on one pony sitting relatively still on the bed. All her worries were instantly gone and she looked back at Applejack with a bright flush on her face. “Eh, m-my mistake…”

Applejack sighed, giving a relieved smile as she did. “Maybe ya shouldn’t jump ta conclusions so often there Twi…”

“Y-yeah, m-maybe.” The purple unicorn picked herself up.

Rob turned and smirked at Rainbow Dash who returned the gesture, much to the amusement of the ever-watching Applejack. “So,” the human piped up, “food?”

“Food?” Applejack responded.

“Food.”

“Ugh, Celly, any chance of food?”

“Yeah, I was just going to tell you to come down, seeing as you’re all awake…”

“Yea- wait. How do you know that?”

“The noise you lot are making!? It’s pretty easy to work that out…”

“From all the way up here, woman, it takes 20 minutes to get here… No way in hell did you hear that!”

“Heh, you’re right, I was actually stalking you this whole time…”

“You saw all of that, didn’t you…?”

“I did; very clever by the way.”

“So then, food?”

“Hold on, let me redirect you…”

“Bitch, make me a sammich!”

“I beg your pardon!?”

“Luna!?”

“It is I! I mean… Yes… I mean; why are you interrupting my sleep so early in the morning?”

“Umm… Let me try that again… Bitch, make me a sammich!”

“On what grounds do you have the authority to command me to make a sandwich for you!?”

“Well, I was thinking; the same grounds as yesterday – you know – the ones about me being human, the elements and shit like that…”

“Well, too bad, no sandwich for you…”

“No sandwich for Rob?”

“No, and besides, who has sandwiches for breakfast anyway?”

“Who DOESN’T is a more appropriate question, right?”

“What?”

“I don’t know… So, sandwiches?”

The connection fell, and a rather unnerving silence descended over the humans mind. He looked towards the three ponies who were now staring at him with unsurprised expressions on their faces. He could tell they all knew what had just happened, and decided not to push the topic any further; after all, they were getting used to his frequent daydreams with the princess.

“Well that was just rude…”

“What was Arc?” Applejack questioned the teenager.

“Oh, nothing. I was just inquiring about this morning’s food, and the princess gave me the cold shoulder.” He absentmindedly looked over his shoulder.

“I thought it might be the princess again.” A purple pony moved further into the room, still trying to push the rather recent memories out of her head. She coughed. “Shall we just go down, or did she have anything to say?” Twilight leaned against the doorframe on the inside.

“Ugh, I don’t really kno-”

A bright white flash dazzled the group and a loud crack was heard, breaking Rob off from his sentence. The group peeled their stricken eyes back to see the regal form of Princes Celestia standing in the middle of the bedroom, complete with a tray of perfectly arranged sandwiches being balanced on her back. An eerie silence overtook the room and all eyes were fixed on the bemused looking sun princess as she settled herself with ease in amongst the startled ponies and human.

The pristine alicorn turned to the group, flitting her eyes about between them as she levitated the tray off her back. “Did someone say they were hungry?” She flashed a sly grin at the human. “I overheard you mention something about food, and then complain endlessly about it. I thought to rectify the situation.”

Applejack stood her ground in light of the unforeseen situation; she was surprised, but unwilling to show it. Dash on the other hand, felt it appropriate to give a cheer and compliment the princess on how she entered with style, but she stopped when AJ shot her a stern glare. Out of all the ponies though, it was Twilight who was most dumbfounded by the Princesses arrival, and once again she slumped to the floor in shock, content to watch the scene unfold before jumping to any conclusions.

“P-princess!?” Twilight stammered, taking great care not to trip over her words too much.

“Yes, Twilight?”

“Umm…” She paused, “nothing…”

“Well, are you hungry, or not?” The princess addressed the room, floating a single sandwich to her mouth from her back in her magical grasp as she did.

Rob looked over to her, “Who even has sandwiches for breakfast anyway?”

“Why you little…”

“Calm it Lulu.”

The room was awkward. There was no other way of putting it. Twilight was stunned, Rainbow wanted to talk, and Applejack was busy keeping Rainbow from doing just that. The Princess needed a response, and only Arc could really give it to her. The room plunged into silence, waiting for someone to break the ice. Rob sighed.

“Thank you for the offer Celly, but you reckon we can have some proper breakfast food, you know, not sandwiches?” He scratched his chin. “It’s not that I’m ungrateful, but this is damn creepy and I ugh… I think you’ve given Twi some sort of seizure.” Rob looked at the purple mare, who was still spewing out nonsense in the face of all that had happened that morning. “I think you broke her… And I definitely had no part in helping you.”

During the conversation, Applejack had skirted around the shell-shocked unicorn and made her way into the bedroom proper. Dash was still sitting upon the bed next to Rob, and now looked more confused than anything else.

The farm pony spoke up; “Ah’m sorry, but what the hay is going on here… First; Arc, you ‘n Dash prankin’ us, and then, do excuse me Princess, but you arriving with breakfast? Ah’m mighty confused right now…”

The human and the alicorn looked at the farm pony and laughed, “Don’t you worry AJ, you go pack your things, and head downstairs.” Rob waved a flippant hand. “This is just our way of having a little fun! …At all of your expenses.” The boy told her. “Because we’re nice like that, and even a ruler needs some downtime occasionally.”

“Figures…” The pony muttered, before turning and heading back to her room with an irritated expression on her face. “One of these days, that human is gonna push me a lil’ too far…” She muttered under her breath, rounding the corner outside. “It wouldn’t bother me… But I just don’t get it…”

Rob turned to Dash, “You fancy doing the same… ‘babe’? He mocked, prompting her to deliver a kick to his arm, simply returning his teasing in an effective, but more physical manner. She looked at him with an expression telling him that he should expect some form of payback in the future, but he simply shrugged it off and sniffed, turning away from her.

Without a word, Dash flew up and hovered a moment, looking back and forth between the Princess and the human, before disappearing out of the door and back to her room also, leaving only the human and the alicorn in the room. Once again, a silence occupied the chamber.

Rob looked around the place and couldn’t see Twilight anywhere. He figured that she’d recovered, and retreated back to her room alongside Applejack and Dash. If he knew her anywhere near as much as he thought; she was already trying to find some way of putting this morning behind her, probably with overly minuscule and pointless tasks to keep her mind occupied. He turned to Celestia, who was looking at him expectantly, still with the tray of food on her back. He waited for the beating noise of Dash’s wings to fade completely.

“So then, in the end you win.” He stared at the princess.

“Arc, I like to think it was a team effort.” She nudged a little closer to him.

“Well, I did warm them up, but that killing blow was truly magnificent, no one expected that, not even me! Where the hell did you get sandwiches from…?”

“You’d be amazed at how fast the chefs here can work. And besides, as for the other thing, don’t worry; I’ve had years of practice, you have not.”

“You know, after all of the things I’ve witnessed, it still blows my mind that you run a country…” Rob slumped back onto the bed, looking at the ceiling.

“Honestly,” She chuckled, “It does me too.”

Rob smiled.

“Well then, what is for breakfast? And this time; I’m not kidding, I’m damn hungry!”

The princess laughed, turning her gaze to look out of the window. “When you come down, you’ll see!”

Rob sighed, “Great, just my luck.” He sighed again, “If it’s not bacon…” He sat back up, mumbling, and got off of the bed, making his way to the door on the back wall. “Anyhow, I pretty much have my things all in one place, so, if you don’t mind, I’ll have a shower now and meet you downstairs, Princess?”

“Need any help scrubbing those little hard to reach places?” She winked, bowing down seductively in the process and looking up at him with bright, glistening eyes. “I have very gentle hooves…”

“I thank you for your kind and ‘molestation-filled’ offer, but I must decline.” Rob turned from her and headed off towards the bathroom, discarding both his clothing, and his latest mental image of Celly along the way. “Now then, if there’s anything else, let me know quickly?”

“There is one thing…” She pondered a moment, “No, wait, two things!”

“And they are…?” Rob leaned against the doorway of the bathroom, waiting for the conversation to end.

“Firstly, why are you getting naked in front of me…?”

“Heh, Celly, Celly, Celly, you’ve seen me naked already; why should I care if you see it again!?” He smiled victoriously.

“Fair point. Well then; number two. Would you like me to heal all those injuries?”

Rob looked down at himself, taking in all the cuts and scrapes he’d gotten over the past few days; the various back injuries, the claw marks and the breaks, he looked at her with a blank expression before he realised that she wasn’t joking. His jaw dropped.

“You’re telling me you could have fixed this shit at any time!? I’ve been in agony! Multiple times! And you could have made me all better with one ‘whoosh’ of your horn!?”

She walked closer to him. “Yes, I suppose I could have.” She continued pacing.

“Then why didn’t you!?” He flailed his arms about, trying to get rid of all the sudden pent up energy.

“Well, to start with, I find it funny to watch you suffer sometimes,” She gave him a sly smile, “And secondly, it totally slipped my mind. My bad.”

“You bitch! Fix me now! I’ve punched myself in the head more times than I can remember thanks to this little bastard!” He raised his cast. “I have an eye the colour of coal and a back not dissimilar to that of a 70 year olds too, not mentioning all the shit that Spa exposed me too! At this rate, I’ll be dead within the week! I dunno how resilient you think humans are, but we are not indestructible!” Rob panted the last bit out, catching his breath.

“Yes, yes, sorry, sorry, I’ll get right on it… My word you can rant.” The sun princess took another few steps up to the human, stopping directly in front of him. At this height, they could meet eye to eye. “This may feel a little odd.” She lit up her horn and pressed it to the centre of Rob’s chest. “Just try and relax.” She closed her eyes.

“If I relax now, I’ll fall over and be impaled on your horn, no way am I doing that... Is this just an excuse for a hug?” He cast a sarcastic look and stood still while the glow brightened, encasing his chest in its warmth. “It feels nice and tingly though, that’s pretty cool.”

“Stay still you irritable little human…” Without warning, Celestia pushed forward and stabbed her horn into the teenagers chest, making him cough as the air was forced out of his lungs.

Rob looked down to see that the majority of her horn had penetrated his upper body. He was shocked, and fought not to scream out, but after realising that there was no pain, he settled with simply trying to breathe deeply and control the urge to back away as fast as he could. Luckily for Celestia, he was pinned against a wall, and therefore, unable to escape.

Rob slumped forward quickly as a wave of nausea flooded his senses. He clutched at Celestia’s neck, hugging her tightly as her magic coursed through him. He looked up, only to see himself in the giant mirror on the wall across the room, and much to his surprise, the black eye that he once had was fading slowly, dissipating into nothing. Aside from the overwhelming sickness, Rob felt good. He felt his fingers trying to wriggle their way out of the cast on his hand, and felt his back seal itself up, all the pulls and tears knitting themselves back together.

“I’m sorry Arc, just hold on a little more…”

“Heh, I’m getting used to this-” He gritted his teeth and held down the rising bile, “-shit now… For a l-land of c-colourful ponies, I’ve been thrown through worse shit than ever…”

“Can you lean back for me?” The princess spoke after another few seconds of healing.

Rob complied and forced himself back to an upright position, once again resisting the urge to spew his guts up. Slowly, the horn embedded in his chest removed itself, and much to the human’s surprise; left no trace of where it had been.

Celestia smiled sheepishly, “See, not so bad, right?” She returned to her full height. “And… you can stop hugging me now if you want?”

Rob tried to smile back, but failed, showing a grimace instead, “Yeah… wonderful… Now if you’ll just excuse me.” He removed himself from her neck and fled.

Celestia watched as the newly healed human ran from her sight, and into the bathroom, clasping both hands over his mouth as he did. What she heard next confirmed her suspicions, as a series of wretching sounds emanated from through the doorway. She cast a sympathetic gaze his way and lit her horn again, disappearing in a flash of light soon afterwards. After all, she knew; give him half an hour and he’ll be right as rain.

Canterlot Palace, Dining Hall:

“Well yes, but only after attacking the bastard for 20 minutes with a sewing kit…”

The dining room of the Royal Canterlot palace was huge. In fact, it dwarfed anything the human had ever seen before. Whereas the throne room was large, it was still only designed to hold a number of officials. This room however, was designed to host a large number of guests at many times of the year, and therefore needed to be big on a scale that confused the human. He didn’t feel entirely comfortable in such a room. It wasn’t anything to do with the size though, more the daunting presence of power and wealth.

The table was fitting, as in, it matched the room. It stretched for metres, extending right from one side of the hall to the other, and upon it, were three ponies, two alicorns and one human, situated all up one end, leaving a vast expanse of table bare. Upon the table, sat numerous dishes of food, ranging from a number of flowery options for the ponies, to a large amount of fruit and vegetable options for the human; everything looked great. There was also a number of drinks too. What amazed the human most though, was how luxurious it all was. Somewhere along the line; he’d forgotten what royalty was. Everything was gold or silver; everything.

When he’d said he wanted breakfast, he was assuming that he’d just head into a cosy living room with a bowl of cornflakes, and yet, her they all were, sitting on ornate gilded chairs at a table made from more wood than your average Brazilian rainforest, eating and drinking from chalices of pure gold, talking to two beings who were capable of raising the very sun and moon in a palace that’d put anything back on earth to shame. It was all a lot to take in now he thought about it. Still, food in a giant room was better than no food at all, even if the food of choice wasn’t entirely to his… tastes.

Despite that, everyone was munching away happily, listening to Rob telling the tale of his fierce battle with his old arm cast. After he’d finished throwing up, Rob had begun to notice that his hand didn’t need to be in a cast anymore, and so, sought to get it off. He knew all too well about the resilience of the cast, and figured that hitting it wasn’t going to work. Instead, Rob searched through his room, looking for any sort of sharp implement, and after scouring it three times, had come up with nothing but a sewing kit. He debated questioning such an item’s presence, but simply put it down to the guest suites in the palace being similar to that of a high class hotel.

He first started to hack away at the cast with the needle, untangling all the bound-up loose ends, and then set about saturating it in the sink. With that done, he set to it with the scissors, chopping away slowly at one end. This process however, took too long, and so, after accidentally breaking the scissors, he was left with a crudely fashioned half-scissor-knife; not the most helpful of implements. Regardless, human perseverance shone through, and eventually, with only the very smallest of scratches, the cast dropped to the floor. From there on, a shower, and only 16 staircases later, Rob was in the royal dining hall, seated and eating with his pony companions, out of breath, and as tired as the night before; faced with tackling another long-ass day, which he didn’t really want to do.

“And thus, I was free of the dreaded cast of ‘doom and evil’; the end.” Rob finished his speech, shoving another mouthful of what he was told was ‘mangosteen’ into his mouth. Apparently it was a fruit from a faraway land; the princess didn’t dwell on it any further when Rob had asked, after all, to her, this was a daily thing, and his musings and incessant questioning was rather unimportant to her.

“Thank you for that enlightening tale, Arcadia.” Luna spoke up, addressing the human way too formally for his liking, once again. “Any more fables you wish to share?” She levitated a napkin up to her mouth to wipe away… something.

“Lulu, we’ve been through this… Arc is fine, there is no need for the royal façade around us, and you don’t have to be so polite; that was a boring story, and you’re free to say so.” He sighed, looking at her from across the table.

“Hmm… If you say so…”

“I do. And ugh, no, no more ‘fables’…” Rob told her, eating more of the exotic fruit. He chewed and swallowed before speaking up again. “So, I take it the bill came through alright? You can blame all that on Applejack and Dash over there…” He pointed at the two eating ponies to his right who seemed oblivious to his tattletaling.

Luna’s expression turned to one of ice. “That bill,” she accentuated, “Was enormous! Tell me, how do two ponies and one human eat so much food!?” She glared at the two ponies in question, further down the table, trying not to slip into her higher tone of voice.

“Calm down Luna.” Celestia interjected, “They’re all growing and using copious amounts of energy each day, besides, it’s not like we can’t afford it.” She kept a quiet tone, whilst keeping her sisters temper in check.

“The principal remains! I do not want to be forever shelling out on this human!” The moon princess argued with her sister. “He has not even said one word of thanks in return!” She gritted her teeth, “If he weren’t… well, him! I don’t know what I’d do!”

“Hey, I resent that!” Rob called out. “And ugh, yeah, thanks!” He yawned, “And anyway, you totally love me, so, s’all good, yeah?”

“I don’t care anymore! … And No!” She ended, as the room fell quiet.

A few eyes were cast around; flitting between each other and cutting the tension in the air like it were butter. Luna was panting and staring at her sister, waiting for her to stop her. Celestia simply looked back at her with an un-amused expression on her face, although, Rob could see that playful glint still present. She raised her fork and fed herself another mouthful of passion-fruit. Rob sighed, before laughing a little bit;

“Wow, you are a little princess, aren’t you! That display of childish anger! Simply amazing!” He taunted, much to the dislike of the pony princess in question, as a fork flew past his face and clattered over onto the floor behind him. “Oooh~ Testy!” He looked at Luna and smiled, resting his hands on the table in front of him.

“Sister, please calm down, you know what happens when you get flustered like this…” She faced Arc, “And you, do stop teasing everypony… You wonder why you’re hurt so much.” Celestia sighed, returning to her food once again. “It’s no wonder, you just antagonise ponies so much.”

“Yeah, yeah…”

“Anyway,” Celestia continued, “I do apologise about last night. We seemed to have underestimated how long you’d be at the university. We were supposed to all eat together…” She faced Twilight, who wore a sad face. “I am especially sorry for not being able to spend more time with you, Twilight. Maybe in the future you can come and stay in Canterlot with me and Luna, here in the palace. Would you consider doing that?” she showed a soft smile.

The reaction was immediate; Twilight was nodding her head ecstatically at the princess’s proposal, so hard in fact, that her face was a blur. It was rather comical really. “Yes, yes, yes!” She paused, “If that would be ok… I mean… Haha…” She swayed her eyes sheepishly. The others in the room laughed a bit, causing her to blush slightly from the apparent embarrassment.

“Of course it would be. In fact, I may line up some special things for us to do for the duration of your stay.” The mentor replied to her student. “There are still many things you could learn about magic, and seeing as how you’ve grown so much lately, I believe you are ready to take on some of these new challenges.” She finished speaking to Twilight, who had a look of awe about her. She could finally spend some more time with the princess! Celestia coughed, turning to Arc, and snapping Twilight out of her daydreaming. “As for you, I’ve heard from Luna about the disruption you caused in my University yesterday…”

“Pretty funny, really!”

“You are a horrible princess…”

“Yes, I am. Look at all these ponies, crushed and downtrodden under my harsh rule!”

Rob looked over at Rainbow Dash to see that she was laughing at a fairly irate Applejack. The cause being some sauce around the farm pony’s face.

“Yeah, yeah… Evil reign of terror alright…”

“Just… try not to do that again…” She spoke aloud.

“Special treatment if you do…”

“Sounds ominous… I’ll be on my best behaviour…”

Luna, having calmed down, turned to the human. “Yes, may I ask what happened after you were cut off? I trust that you are fine, and my sister’s magic has taken care of any unfortunate injuries, but I am curious to know how things went down, as it were.”

“He set a pony on fire!” A pegasus voice carried out across the table.

Luna looked shocked, “On fire!? You cruel creature!”

“Yeah, it was aweso-” The voice continued before being cut off by Rob.

“No! Not on fire! I set his hat on fire!”

Luna reached to grab some more food. “Sounds… interesting…”

“That’s one word for it, Princess.” Applejack said. “Now, if y’all excuse me, Ah’m gonna go sort out the rest of my things.” She tipped her Stetson and got up, leaving the table and exiting the hall, wiping away the last remains of the sauce around her mouth with a spare hoof.

Twilight looked at her teacher once more and swallowed, getting up as well. “I think I’ll go and finish packing too, Princess. Thank you for the meal.” She turned and nodded her head to Luna, “And thank you too, Princess.”

“Think nothing of it, Twilight Sparkle.” The lunar princess replied.

“Well, I suppose this concludes breakfast then. I… I have nothing to pack. Some damn scientists stole all my stuff…” Rob followed suit, muttering to himself, and stood up, bending his legs extravagantly as he left the royal table, taking care to stretch all the muscles that had ceased up during the rather long and drawn out breakfast.

Celestia looked at him, “You know, you’d make a truly wonderful court jester.”

He looked back at her. “You still have those?”

“Well, no. Not anymore anyway. But, with a few tweaks, we could reinstate them, would you like that?” She raised her eyebrow.

“You know what? I don’t give two sh-”

“Well then! I’m done too!” Rainbow interrupted, bouncing up from the table, full of energy as always. “You guys think I can catch up with AJ and Twilight, AND pack my things and be down here before them?” She smiled, “I bet I can!”

Rob deadpanned her. “Let me repeat myself; I don’t give two sh-”

“Give it your best shot.” Celestia spoke with a calm and encouraging smile.

“I will!” The pegasus replied loudly, choosing to dart out of the window behind the table instead of using the door, leaving a large disruption as her slipstream knocked various plates and cups off of the table.

“She sure does have some serious energy…” Rob remarked to himself before turning his attention to the two alicorn sisters still seated regally at the table. “So yeah, Lulu, the fight was good. No one was seriously injured, one despicable hat was erased from existence, and anything bad that did happen; Celly here has fixed.” He pointed to the princess’s sister, “All in a day’s work!”

Both sisters released their cutlery from their magical grips and stood simultaneously. Celestia muttered a quick thank you to a nearby waiter who quickly swooped in to clear the table and clean up, and left it to join Rob’s side.

“Yes well, if we’re all done here, might I suggest you head back to your room, and meet me and my sister as soon as you’re ready in the palace foyer?” The alabaster alicorn spoke, turning her head between the human and her sister.

Rob nodded and belched, much to Luna’s disgust. Grunting, she plodded out of the room, followed by her smiling sister and a flippant Rob. Due to the size of the room, it took a while, and barely before even walking through the door at the end, they heard sounds of panting and soft clopping from further down the hall.

After rounding another corner, the trio came face to face, so soon, back with Rainbow Dash, who was flopped out on the floor and clutching a horribly stuffed looking suitcase, filled, presumably, with all the things she had brought or found in Canterlot.

“Now, this confuses me; primarily because none of them came with anything… where the hell did she get that case from!?”

“Ugh, all packed Dashie?” The human asked the exhausted mare.

Raising a feeble hoof, Dash smiled and nodded. “I won… right…?” She turned her head up and looked at the trio.

Rob bent over and faced her. “We don’t have a clue. To be honest Dash, we’ve not really left the room yet, we haven’t seen anyone but you, and ourselves. The probability is high, but, well… who knows.”

“Or cares…”

“Are you ok Rainbow Dash?” Luna posed, lowering her head to a similar level to the downed mare’s. “It is unwise to fly like that after a meal…”

“Nothing to worry about princess!” She replied, hopping up to her hooves with a false smile. “Now I… I ugh… gotta find a bathroom… Bye!” And with that, she sped down the hall and out of sight, leaving all her luggage with the human and the two alicorn princesses.

“That was… strange.” Celestia turned to her sister.

“Yeah, and now I gotta carry all this crap myself.” Rob remarked, walking over to Rainbows luggage, picking up the large bag and hefting it over his shoulder.

“You know, we could help you carry that? With our magic, it’d be nothing difficult.” Luna asked the human. “It does look heavy…”

“Thanks, but I got this.” Rob strained one foot forward at a time, making his way down the hall, the opposite way to which Rainbow had come.

“We don’t mind Arc, we can help?”

“Celestia, seriously. Don’t worry about it. I got this.” He walked further ahead, the two alicorns following him slowly behind.

Celestia eyed her sister. “You need to let others help you more, it’s-”

“And don’t lecture me either,” He turned to face them, cutting the white princess off as she spoke, “I let people help me just fine. But; this is just a suitcase, it’s no problem. If we were carrying a boulder, go for it, knock yourself out; that boulder is all yours. But as it stands, this is one little suitcase, I really don’t need your help, thank you.”

“No need to snap at us, we’re just trying to help.” She returned at the human.

“Yeah well, look, thanks, but no thanks; really.” And so he continued walking down the hall, the dull throb of his footsteps and the sharp click of hooves filling the long and brightly lit expanse.

Canterlot Train Station:

It was later on in the day, sometime around 4 o’clock, and the human, alongside his various pony friends, had successfully ended up at the train station in the southern part of Canterlot. They were waiting for the train to arrive and bring them all back to Ponyville.

After leaving the Palace, and saying goodbye to the two sisters, the group had retraced their steps back to the University, where they were greeted by a spritely Azure and Brew, and a lethargic-going-on-passed-out Cobalt. They spent some time talking, and Brew assured Rob of all the things he could and couldn’t now do with his technology. In essence, she told him it was all the same as before, only now, it would live indefinitely, provided he stay away from ‘dead spots’, the magical terminology for a place absent of magical energy. He questioned if this would be a problem, and she told him that such spots were rare, stating that if he was ever in one, whether his ‘talky-thingy’ –as she put it– would work, was least of his problems.

The scientists and the Ponyville group shared a late lunch in the university, and soon after that, they departed. One short stop back at the palace to wave goodbye to a recently returned Valiance, and the crew were on their way again, amusingly, accompanied by a rather bored Luna. Celestia had encouraged her to spend a little time for herself, and insisted that she assist in their departure. Not having the strength to argue, Luna went as far as the station, and then decided to go shopping, bidding the group a farewell before she did. One thing Rob did notice though, was how she discreetly passed Twilight a letter before leaving. He was curious as to what it was, but decided he’d annoy her with prying later. After Luna and her entourage of guards had left, Rob spoke up;

“So, when’s our train arriving?”

Twilight looked at him, and then gazed down at a timetable that she had clutched in her hoof. “About… now-ish.” She sighed, “I hate this feeling. It happens whenever we leave Canterlot…” The dejected looking mare plodded about.

“What’s the matter, Twi,” Applejack inquired, stepping forward and looking into her friends eyes.

“Nothing big, but I rarely see the Princess anymore, and so I really enjoy these trips…” She paused, “Even if they usually do end up with us fighting off some otherworldly threat…” Straightening her neck, she looked up, “And then when we leave, I’m torn between leaving the Princess behind, which I don’t want to do, and actually going back home, which I do want to do.”

There was a silence before Applejack spoke out again, “But ya can’t have both of those things, Twilight, and you can always visit the Princess, she said so herself.”

Twilight sighed again and smiled, “I know, but,” She laughed, “It’s hard…”

A whistle off in the distance signalled the arrival of the train, and soon it pulled in to the station, stopping right in front of the group and numerous other ponies waiting at the station. Rob was genuinely curious. This train looked just like the last one. Was there only one train, or did they build them all like this!? Laced with gluten sickliness.

Rubbing Twi on the head as he passed, Rob stepped onto the train, and found a table for four further down the carriage to the left. He sat at it and let the other ponies filter in, Applejack next to him, Twilight opposite, and Rainbow Dash diagonally across from him. Resting his head on his hand, he waved Canterlot a farewell as the train departed, heading back towards home; Ponyville.

Ponyville, Central Park:

The sun beat down on the green grass, and playfully, a bunny hopped about. Not far behind the bunny was a rather irate looking cat, and off to the side, was a fairly bored looking alligator. The trio got together like this every Sunday to play, and despite their differences, enjoyed themselves thoroughly, after all, they rarely got to leave their homes like the dog and the owl did. A stiff breeze ran through the park, and made the cat shiver, taking its attention off of the bunny for one small second, allowing it to hop into the safety of a nearby bush.

Not too far away, were the owners of the animals, Rarity, Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy, all sitting on a picnic blanket, enjoying the warmth of the sun and awaiting the return of their friends. Their friends hadn’t been gone long, but they were used to them being around, and things didn’t feel complete without them. During their absence, things had stayed pretty much the same, all but one thing;

“So, come on girls, are you all ready for a one-of-a-kind-super-duper-Pinkie-Party tonight!? It’s going to be even better than usual!”

Used to Pinkie's ranting, Fluttershy and Rarity just let their friend continue, smiling and nodding in all the appropriate places.

“It’s a shame I wasn’t allowed to invite everyone, but I did get a hold of some of Big Mac’s special stuff, and from what he says, it’s going to be something we’ve never experienced before!” She paused, “Well, me anyway… which is why I really need to have some tonight! Like, what kind of party pony doesn’t know EVERYTHING about parties! That would be silly, and then I’d feel bad, and have to do it anyway, and then I would know, and then I would be the number one pink party pony again! There is no way I am not going to not do whatever it is I am now talking about!”

“Very nice, dear.” Rarity absentmindedly mumbled.

“I know! And I’ve got all the usual stuff too! Cakes and balloons and more cake! And there is one thing I don’t usually have too! And that thing will make this a great night!” Pinkie stopped dramatically, somehow suspending herself in the air as she waited for somepony to ask her the question.

“Oh, sorry, Pinkie. And… ugh… that thing is?”

“Equestria’s one and only human!” She fell back down, creating a loud thud that shocked a few of the other park attendees.

“I see…” Rarity mumbled again.

“Eeexactly!”

“So, Pinkie. Where is this party being held?” Rarity piped up, rolling over to allow the sun to warm her back. “I presume it’s somewhere local?” She raised a hoof to cover her eyes whilst looking over at Pinkie who had moved on to pestering Fluttershy in a jubilant fashion.

“I’ve set everything up in the Sweet Apple Acres barn! I asked Big Macintosh if it was ok to use it when I went round there this morning. He said “yes” and here we are! Waiting for a party… I hate waiting. Rarity, how much longer do we have to wait for them!?” Fluttershy watched as her hyper friend bounced back over to Rarity in an attempt to gleam answers from the relaxing mare.

Rarity looked up at her friend who was now positioned over her head, blocking out the sun, “I don’t know Pinkie Pie,” She sighed, showing obvious annoyance at Pinkie’s antics. “It depends on when they return from Canterlot. For all we know, they haven’t even left yet.” Rarity shifted to try and position herself back in the sunlight, but Pinkie followed her as she did.

“May I ask what the time is now, then?” Fluttershy interjected as Rarity tried once again to escape her pink sunshade.

Rarity turned once more and scanned the ground near the blanket for her bag. After finding it, and dodging Pinkie’s ever moving hooves, she managed to secure it and find out the time. Brushing a lock of hair away from her face, she called out to Fluttershy, “It’s about four-thirty, dear, ok?”

Fluttershy nodded in response and rose to go and check on Angel, who was by now, scampering away from Opal with one of her toys clutched in-between his small bunny arms. Fluttershy knew the small animal had a tendency to take things too far sometimes, and with a temper like Opal’s, this whole scenario was a disaster waiting to happen.

Rarity looked to the sky, disappointed that the sun was finally beginning to set, and that what little was left, was being blocked by Pinkie’s hyperactive darting about. She sighed and laid back down on her side, content to watch Fluttershy deal with the animals over the other side of the park. She smiled, looking at Gummy, as he waddled his way back over to Pinkie by himself. She could never quite place the look on his face. It was something simple, and always happy. She wished that she could be like that more often, and soon, she found herself sighing again.

The trio waited until the last rays of sun had vacated the land, and set off for Sweet Apple Acres, via their houses of course, to prepare and pick up anything they needed. Each had various things to accomplish; Pinkie had remaining party supplies to transport, Fluttershy had animals to feed and put to bed, and Rarity sure wasn’t going out without a bath and some more makeup on. After reclaiming their pets, the three went their separate ways and headed for home, packing up their things and walking off into the slowly encroaching night.

Ponyville, Twilight’s Library:

Despite being emptier than usual, the library was still a home, and within it, was its number one resident. Seeing as Twilight was always out on long adventures, Spike liked to consider the library his domain, regardless of all the books within it. Besides, when Twilight was gone, he could sleep in the big bed for once, and there was nothing he liked more than sleeping in the big bed, and laying-in in the morning however long he liked.

Turning from the desk he was carefully cleaning, he mumbled a quick greeting to Owlowiscious, who ‘hooted’ back, and moved over to the other side of the room to light a lamp, seeing as it was getting fairly dark at this time of the day. Wiping his brow, he headed for his last destination – the lower bookshelves. He was just about to get started when there was a click from behind him.

He turned just in time to see the front door to the Library opening, and Twilight plod in, followed by Rob.

“You’re back!”

“Sure am, Spike.” Twilight replied, dumping her bags down on the sofa.

“Did it all go well?” The small dragon asked.

“Sure did, lil’ guy.” Rob answered, collapsing next to Twilight’s stuff on the sofa. “But, Canterlot sure is more hectic than Ponyville. I am so much more at ease here.”

“Yeah,” he chuckled, “It has that effect doesn’t it.”

Rob nodded, and looked over to Twilight who had made a dash for the stairs.

“Why are you running?” Rob called after her.

“Umm… we have places to be!” She shouted back.

“Right… Why did no one tell me!?”

“No time, and you didn’t ask!”

“We had all the time. A whole train journey in fact!”

Rob turned to Spike who was watching the scene unfold with a face of bemusement.

“So, Spike. Had a nice weekend by yourself?”

The little dragon crossed his arms, “I-I suppose…”

“Good,” Rob turned to look back at the stairs, “Then if you’ll excuse me, I think I have to go and… find out what the hell is going on.” And with that, the human vaulted over the sofa and ran up the stairs.

Spike simply sighed and moved back to the bookcase. “…And then they came home.”

Sweet Apple Acres, Barn:

The set sun barely cast any light anymore, and Rob, Twilight and Spike were outside of Sweet Apple Acres, walking up towards the looming barn on the hill. All in all, the place was quiet, and what Rob had described as ‘eerie’.

After Rob had investigated Twilight’s frantic actions back at the library, he had discovered that tonight was the night of the party Pinkie Pie had set up for him. Although tired, he was begrudgingly persuaded to go, and so, had a shower and got ready for the evening ahead, complaining all the way. Once Twilight had ejected him from the library, there was no turning back, and so, resigned to his fate, Rob walked towards Sweet Apple Acres.

Not an hour later, after the original fiasco about ‘not wanting to go’, the trio was outside the barn, preparing to enter. Twilight was using her magic to straighten a bow tie Spike had decided to wear, and Rob was loitering with his hands in his pockets, whistling a tune which was carried on the still night air. Swivelling around to face the two, he spoke;

“I hope she remembered not to invite… anyone.”

“Stop being so depressing, Arc, and lighten up, you’re here to have a good time.” Twilight chastised the boy.

“What can I say? Parties usually involve god-awful music, people I dislike, and a lack of edible food. You know what I could go for? A night of board games. I love me some board games. And curry. A curry night with board games.”

“Well, maybe another night…” She sighed, becoming impatient with the human. “Just… try to have fun, ok?” The human received her pleading eyes.

Spike tapped Rob’s leg, “Besides, trust me on this; Pinkie’s parties are fun. Fun with a capital ‘F’. I haven’t met anyone who dislikes them. Well… Except Gilda…” He muttered the last bit under his breath.

Rob let out an exhausted sigh, “If you say so…”

“And, ugh… with luck, there’ll be some of that stuff you were talking about…”

An eyebrow was raised in turn; “You, my little scaly friend, do raise a very good point. Let’s just hope on that then, shall we.” He turned back to Twilight with an innocent smile. “Looks like we have a game plan, Twilight; it’s called ‘Get Smashed’, how do you like it?”

Twilight chose simply to nod her head in response, and mimic the humans earlier sighing, paying attention to them no further. With her head hung low, and a look of disappointment on her face, she pressed open the door to the barn, only to be greeted with darkness.