Deadpool: Equestria's Daddy

1 month ago

“Look, you want me to spell it out for you? I didn’t order the pizza.”

Thunderlane was standing at his door, Featherweight was delivering a pizza to him; but Thunderlane was trying to tell him he didn’t order one.

Featherweight asked, “Is this 222 Oakmen apartment?”

“Yeah, but I didn’t order the fucking pie.” Thunderlane replied.

“Well who did?”

Suddenly, the two of them heard a flush coming from the bathroom; when the door opened, they both saw a guy come out. He shook his hands dry and said, “I did.” Spikey said as he wiped his hands on his jacket.

The pizza boy stepped forward and showed him the pizza box, “Pepperoni and cheese?” Spikey asked.

“Yes, sir; and stuffed crust.” Featherweight replied.

Thunderlane was beyond confused, all he could ask was, “Who the fuck are you?”

Without warning, Spikey pulled a pistol out from his pocket; he ordered, “Spikey, nice to meet ya. Now, you sit down and shut up.” This made Thunderlane fear for his life.

He got out his wallet and handed it over to Spikey, he said, “Look if this is about that poker game, I already told Blue Blood I was going to pay him back.”

“I said, shut up; or I will shoot your fucking cat.” Spikey threatened.

But Thunderlane just thought for minute and replied, “I… what? What do you mean, I don’t have a cat?”

“Then whose kitty litter did I just shit in?”

Featherweight broke the silence by asking Spikey, “Look, whatever you’re about to do to him; do you mind if I get, like a big tip?”

Spikey then said, “Featherweight, right?”

“Yeah.”

“I’m sorry, but that’s a no-go, on the tip.” Spidey then put his gun away and took out an army knife instead. “Because, you see; I’m not here for him, I’m here for you.” Spikey pulled out a gold card, with Featherweight’s name on it.

Featherweight suddenly got a little scared, this guy who clearly looked insane, was here for him. Spikey pushed the lid of the pizza box open and took a slice; he asked, “Tell me, what can’t be solved by a cheesy slice?” he took a bite of the pizza.

Spikey then went to hand it to Thunderlane, he reached out for it, but Spikey just dropped it on the floor.

The scared pizza deliverer muttered, “Mister, I don’t know what you’ve been told, but…”

“Do you know a girl named Diamond Tiara; pretty girl, nice hair, her father just escaped from prison and is one of the most powerful crime bosses in Canterlot City?” Spikey asked as he closed the box.

Featherweight simply muttered, “Look sir, I’m just a…”

“A stalker.”

“What?” Featherweight asked, trying to act innocent.

Spikey then explained he reason for being here, “You see, Diamond Tiara doesn’t like it when someone is taking pictures of her while she’s in the shower; peering through her house window and jacking yourself off while she’s asleep. You sick little fucker.”

“I…I… I wasn’t…”

“I’m going to make this, very clear.” Spikey pointed the knife at Featherweight’s nose. “Stay away from Diamond Tiara.”

Featherweight choked a little before saying, “O…okay.”

“Then were done.” Spikey replied, now acting calm. Both Thunderlane and Featherweight were confused, but they just smiled, no one got hurt. “You should have seen your face.” Spikey said, pointing at Thunderlane.

The scared guy just played along, “Yeah, he was coming at me; ‘Ah, what’s he gonna do to me’.”

Featherweight was enjoying the laugh, when suddenly; Spikey wacked the box out of his hands, grabbed him by the neck and pushed him against the wall.

“Listen to me, you little shit; if you even look in her general direction ever again, I will find you. I will eat both of your arms, and both of your legs; then I will eat f…” Spikey though for a minute. “Sorry, that’s from the Venom movie; but you get the idea.”

Spikey lightly kissed Featherweight on the nose, before saying, “Now I’m gonna need some insurance.”

Later that night, Spikey had to swallow his pride and meet his client in a kids roller park; sitting with her friends, Diamond Tiara was gossiping. Spikey walked up to the group and dropped the pizza box in front of her.

“You’ve heard the last of Featherweight, he’s sorry.” Spikey said.

Diamond Tiara opened the pizza box, she didn’t find pizza, but there were photos; pictures of Featherweight holding up a sign saying ‘sorry’. “No frigging way.” She said.

Without warning, the girl wrapped her arms around Spikey; he didn’t see that coming. All he said was, “Yeah, this is why we do it. That and the money.”

Then, one of Diamond Tiara’s friends asked, “Hey, you think you can fuck up my stepdad?”

“Give the guy a break, he probably hates you more that you hate him.” Spikey replied.

When Diamond Tiara let him go, he started to walk way; but she still managed to say, “Hey, you’re my hero.”

Spikey turned back to her and replied, “No, you see that I ain’t.”

Yeah, I might be good, but I ain’t no hero. My name is Spikey; you might already know this by now, but I’m a dog. And when I say dog, I don’t mean the term for ‘good in bed’; all though I am. I mean I was once literally a dog.

I came to this Earth through a mirror portal, I found it in a castle, in the Crystal Empire; I needed a quick getaway, so I jumped through and it spat me out here. I have hands and no tail, I learnt to adapt.

Spikey walked towards the bar that his friend owned, a safe haven for the guys like him; the guys that go after the punks of Fillydelphia.

Now, I work for the people of the streets; we’re kind of like tooth fairies. Except we punch out the teeth and take the money; and you better pray to the all mighty god in the sky that your name doesn’t appear on one of our gold cards.

The merc entered the bar and took a seat in front of the bar keep, also happens to be his friend, Garble. The bar keep turned to his friend and asked, “Hey, Spikey; what can I get for you?”

Spikey thought for a minute, “Well, I’d love a blowjob.”

“Uh, me too; I haven’t been able to hire a good hooker in days…”

“I mean the drink, dum-ass.” Spikey said, interrupting him.

Garble took out some alcohols and began making the drink; he said what they were as he poured them, “One shot of vodka, a small pour from the red wine bottle, top if off with some scotch; and finally, put some whipped-cream on top.” He put the can down and pushed the drink out to him. “There, I give you, a blowjob. Why did you make me make that drink?”

Spikey picked up the drink and stopped the waitress that was walking passed, “Hey, to me a favour, give that to Iron Will over there; say it’s from that guy there.” He said pointing at a random guy in the bar.

The waitress took the drink and did as she was told, Garble looked at his friend and said, “What are you doing?”

“Just watch.” Spikey replied.

Iron Will took the drink over to the guy that Spikey pointed out, he slammed the glass down on the table and yelled, “What the fuck you doing, buying me a drink?!”

The guy stood up and replied, “I didn’t buy you shit!”

To respond to that comment, Iron Will delivered a strong punch to his face; blood dripped from his nose as he was thrown to the ground by the force of Iron Will’s fist. Garble knew he was up, so he walked over the guy on the ground with a small mirror.

“Nope, sorry everyone.” Garble was holding the mirror to his mouth and seeing if he was still alive. “He’s still breathing; sorry, nobody wins today. Maybe next time, punch them harder Iron Will.” After that, everyone just went back to their drinks.

Spikey took the liberty of pouring himself a free drink, he then turned to Garble, “So no one wins, huh?”

“Yeah, no one of our best deadpools.” The bar-keep replied.

“Who’d you bet on?” Spikey then asked. Garble however, just looked at his feet; Spikey didn’t need to figure it out. He looked up at the chalk board and saw his name, “Son, of a bitch; you bet on me to die?”

Garble tried to defend himself, “Sorry, man; I needed to win some money.”

“You bastard.”

Spikey just went back to his drink, sipping the cold alcohol from the glass; he enjoyed the taste, but was then interrupted by something. He felt something from the room, like someone was looking at him; he turned around and saw a red and yellow haired girl staring at him.

When she’d seen that she’d been spotted, she got up out of her chair and walked over to him; when she came closer, Spikey got a better look at her. She was wearing a white tank top, a short one; the edge of her stomach could be seen above her belt. Along with some tore jeans and black leather boots; she looked kind of hot.

“Hi, I’m Sunset. Sunset Shimmer.” She greeted.

The merc replied, “Spikey, the dog.”

“Is that a real name, or a nickname?” she asked.

Spikey replied with, “It’s a bit of both.” He then took a quick look at her figure, he then asked, “What’s a nice place like you doing in a girl like this?” he joked.

“Needed a break from all the crap in Canterlot City; so I decided to see what Fillydelphia was like.” She then took a quick look at his figure, “What about you; why come here when you spend all that hit money on something more valuable.”

“Is that an offer?” Spikey asked, with a bit of a smirk.

Sunset then gently punched him in the arm, “Sorry, sweet heart; but I’m not for sale.”

The merc smiled at her, he smiled at her, “Shame, this last job made me two hundred; I now have seven fifty on me.” He showed her the money, “What would this get me, in your expert opinion?”

She looked at the money, “If I was selling you something, that would probably get you, forty-five minutes." Sunset then pushed his money away. “But like I said, I’m off the table.”

“Yeah, your right.” Spikey said. He then looked around, saw that this place wasn’t the best of places to be. “You wanna get out of here, I know a place that gives you free beers?”

It took some thinking, but then Sunset Shimmer said, “Fuck it, let’s go.”

Later that evening, the two of them arrived at Spikey’s apartment; when Sunset stepped inside, she wasn’t impressed. She looked around, a small two roomed apartment; one room has the bed and the couch, while the other is the bathroom.

“You live here?” she asked.

Spikey replied, “Yeah, sorry I don’t live in a five-star mansion like the rest of you people in Canterlot City. Down here, people have to work for what the need.” The merc then opened the fridge and pulled out a beer, “Go if you want, I just wanted to get you out of that rubbish bar.” He sat down on his couch and began drinking his beer.

“Okay, mind if I use your bathroom first; I’m desperate.” Sunset replied.

He then said, “Back there, don’t splash.”

Sunset set went into the bathroom and closed the door, she was in there for a while, however; when she emerged, Spikey turned around and looked at her, she was now wearing nothing but Spikey’s bath robe.

“What?” Spikey questioned.

Explaining everything, Sunset said, “I came here to see what Fillydelphia was like; and maybe this is one way to find out.” She pulled at the robe, giving Spikey a glimpse of what was underneath. “What do you say, can I make it up to you for being rude earlier?”

Spikey the asked, “I thought you weren’t for sale.”

“I’m not.” She replied. “Think of this as a charity donation.”

With that said, Spikey just thought ‘fuck it’; he was into it. He stood up and moved towards her, pushing her against the wall; the two of them started kissing each other on the lips. Suddenly, the robe Sunset was wearing, fell to the floor; revealing her naked body to her lover.

Spikey quickly reached over for his beer, he’d need to be hydrated for this; but Sunset snatched it out of his hands. She poured the beer onto her breasts, indicating she wanted Spikey to lick it off of her. He pressed his mouth against her tits, sucking the liquid off of her; she moaned from the pleasure she was feeling from his touch.

The two of them took this to Spikey’s bed, it wasn’t long before Spikey’s clothes on the floor; he sat on the bed as Sunset went down on him.

She stroked the tip of his penis, before putting her mouth to work; she licked the tip and teased him as much as she wanted to. Sunset eventually put the tip in her mouth and began sucking it like a popsicle; Spikey moaned and groaned like she did before.

Sunset tried to fit the whole thing in her mouth as she sucked and sucked him off; he laid back on the bed as she worked her magic. Until finally, it was time for the main event; she didn’t want him to cum yet, it would spoil the moment.

Spikey sat back up again, Sunset placed herself on his lap; the two of them began making out as the merc’s dick began to penetrate her womanhood. They both moaned into the pleasure they were both feeling, but Spikey wanted to be in control; he lifted Sunset up and pushed her against the window, then began humping away in her.

The two of them loved what they were feeling, Sunset looked into her lover’s eyes; she asked, “How long can you keep this up?”

The merc didn’t stop humping as he quickly turned to the small device on his nightstand, “Alexa, what day of the week is it?”

“It is Monday, today.” The Alexa replied.

Spikey then turned back to Sunset with an answer, “You wanna go all week?”

“Okay.”

Tuesday

Sunset was down on all fours on the bed, Spikey was behind her, humping and jack-hammering like crazy. Her mouth was wide open as she felt his cock penetrate her once again; Spikey also had his mouth wide open, with an added smile in the mix.

Music was playing from his Alexa, the perfect song to this moment.

They went at for the entire time the song was playing and came the moment the song ended; Spikey pulled out of her and crawled up next to her, “Not bad.”

“Yeah.” Sunset replied. “Your pretty good.”

Wednesday

Spikey and Sunset were back in the bedroom, the merc was lying on his back while Sunset was grinding her hips on top of him; he was already balls-deep inside her, the two were enjoying it.

While moaning from the pleasure, Spikey decided to get to know her a little; he said, “So, tell me a bit about you.”

“Well, I have six friends; seven if you count the newsiest one. My friend’s boyfriend.” She replied. Her head slightly leaned to the side while she rode him.

After another minute, Spikey asked, “So, that thing we did on Monday; was it your first time?”

Sunset replied, “No, I had a boyfriend back when I was in school; don’t worry, we were at the legal age.” She then grabbed his hands and placed them on her tits.

“Do you not think it’s weird, what you’re doing?” Spikey asked. “I mean, you meet a guy; he tries to buy his way into your pants, but you let him in for free, but you know nothing about him. Is that not strange to you?”

Sunset looks down at him and says, “Stop asking stupid questions and fuck me.”

Without saying another word, Spikey starts pushing up into her; she continues to grind and ride him, they both were getting close to their climax.

Thursday

The two of them were sitting on the couch, Sunset was leaning against his shoulder; they were just watching the TV.

Sunset asked him, “What’s this show called again?” Spikey didn’t say anything, he just pointed at the screen as the intro played.

Can’t wait to watch season eight; I’ve been binge watching to catch up, since I just started watching it a month ago.

Friday

The lights were out in the apartment, the only source of light was all the lit candles around the room; the two of them had decided to finish the week with something erotic.

Spikey was standing on one side of the bed, completely naked; the only thing he was wearing, was a blue eye mask. The bathroom door then creaked open, Sunset stepped into the room; the only thing she was wearing was a short skirt with nothing underneath and a red eye mask.

Sunset Shimmer walked closer to her lover, having to crawl across the bed to get to him; when she got to him, the two of them said nothing. The only thing that happened was that they started.

They both fell onto the bed, Spikey on top of Sunset; with her consent, he grabbed his already hard dick and pushed it into her; she quietly moaned as he fitted it in. The two of them would spend this time playing in all kinds of positions, some even represented the other days of the week they did.

Spikey would pound into her, doggy-style; or Sunset would push him down on the bed and ride him like a mechanical bull. But they would usually return to passionate sex in the missionary position.

The passionate week was about to come to a close, Spikey finally came inside her; Sunset had birth control, its fine. Spikey the rolled off of her as they both laid back on the pillow; they took their eye masks off and panted heavily.

Believe me guys, it’s much easier to do it, then right it; so just use your imagination.

After a few minutes, Spikey sat up and stretched his arms; he then said, “Wow, we work fast.” He turned around and looked at Sunset, who looked so hot, he smirked and asked, “You want to go another round?”

“Wow, that’s the first time you’ve asked for a second round; you sick or something?” Sunset asked as she sat up.

“To be honest, this is our final time; I kind of don’t want it to end.”

Sunset moved next to him and asked, “Are you asking me to stay?” Spikey simply nodded, he wanted her to stay here. So Sunset stood up in front of him, still basically naked and said, “Ask me to stay.”

“Please stay.” Spikey asked.

She then gave into him and said, “Let’s go another round.”

They both kissed each other, passionately and dirty; Spikey had to do a wee first.

You see this moment, this is the moment where it looks like the main character is gonna have a normal life, like there’s gonna be no bumps in the road. Grow up.

Spikey stepped out of the bathroom, drained of pee; but something felt off for him. He began coughing badly, until his vision went blurry and he couldn’t stay standing up; so like a freshly cut tree, he fell to the ground.

“Oh my god, Spikey.” Sunset said as she rushed to her lover’s aid.

Sunset Shimmer took Spikey to the doctor’s, they had taken a scan from his body; they had found the cause of him passing out and coughing.

The doctor explained, “I’m not quite sure how you got it, but it’s the Canine Parvovirus; which is usually only caught by dogs.” Spikey then thought about it for a minute, and then it came to him.

He looked at Sunset, who was trying to get help from the doctor, “Is there anything we can do?”

“Since he is the first human case of this virus, we made need some time to work things out; but, I’m sorry to tell you, Mr Spikey. The disease is fatal.”

Sunset and the doctor continued talking; while Spikey looked a Sunset.

This is one of the things I love about Sunset, when she wants something she fights for it; like the cure to a deadly disease that I must have caught from my dog days. However, I don’t think it’ll work on a human; so I’m just gonna do what I do best.

Fast forward time to the next chapter.