She hadn’t known she could feel like this about another person. To care so deeply that all personal thought and desire are pushed aside in service of another, only to come away fulfilled and cared for just as richly in return. It was more than just warm, and sweet, and safe. It was a personal beam of sunlight that kept her glowing, a beacon of light that pierced through the darkness and showed her the way home. And it was so, so incredibly sweet, more than any confection or anything of this life she had ever known in all her years, even if their span had not yet been long.

When Applejack felt that hand in hers, when she turned to look up and see that smiling face of Princess Celestia, when she felt those delectable lips meet hers for a kiss, she knew it would be impossible to hold back a smile. So this is love, she thought happily.

It hadn’t been on purpose. The first rendezvous they had shared had come after relentless teasing and playfulness, Celestia seemingly knowing that eventually the poor farmer would relent and give in. The lovemaking that had come was born out of care, but was a means to forget. To let old hurts be cast aside and let the focus return to the here and now, rather than pining for what could have been. And the aftermath that had come promptly, almost the moment their secret time together had ended…

But then came the next illicit meeting. And then another. To her surprise, Applejack had found the time she spent with the Princess rewarding, and not just for the physical pleasures. She liked to see her, to hold her, to actually know this grand woman. So she asked the Princess out on a date, and was quite surprised when Celestia said yes. Dates that had been simple and quiet became more potent, passionate. Sexual attraction deepened under tender care of genuine romance, binding all feelings and affections into a deep love. Of course she had come to look upon this beautiful Princess and desire to marry her. So she asked, and was told yes yet again. Now, in the face of time and sincere feeling, all that silliness and strangeness that had been present in their first moments together was nothing more than a happy memory that sparked laughter and giggles. They had arrived- together.

“And what are you looking at, my darling farmer?” Celestia asked of her, those soft eyes gazing at her young fiancé with warmth that glowed like sunlight. “Something has caught your eye.”

“You, of course,” Applejack answered, not hesitating to gift another kiss for added measure. “I like the view, if you haven’t figured it out.”

“Why, Applejack! Aren’t you feeling bold today?” Celestia declared, feigning surprise. “I never knew you thought of me as lovely. I’m truly flattered.”

“I say it that much, do I?” Applejack asked, an edge of laughter in her voice to help cover over the embarrassment. She had only meant to be caring.

“More often than anyone else ever could hope to say it, my love,” Celestia replied. “And, from you, I am always glad to hear it. No one I have ever met before has made me feel as happy, nor as loved, as you do.”

And just when there could have been real shame, this wonderful woman would be there to prevent a fall. She had been like that since the beginning; nonjudgemental, compassionate, consistently graceful… Celestia was the remarkable kind of person that made every effort given a worthwhile endeavor, giving thanks and kindness in return to what affections had been expressed. She made Applejack’s love for her a joy to tend to.

The two had taken to a walk through the orchards, no real route or reason to their time together. It was some measure of silliness perhaps, an aimlessness that required no measure of worth or time beyond what was given to one another. But here in this pleasant, familiar place that they both knew so well, they took comfort, solace. No one would come to hinder them, to rob them of the happiness that would be found in the presence of one another. Hand in hand, with only words that were needed to be said, they walked onwards through the dimly fading sunlight.

Celestia, of all people, hadn’t expected she would find such a love after all these years. After years upon countless years of life under the sun, she had come to accept an inevitable reality: she would be alone. Lovers that faded, paramours who returned as loyal spouses, hopeful admirers that would fade and move on to more hopeful prospects in lieu of the many responsibilities that ruling a kingdom required. She had accepted it, been kind to those who had come and gone. Even her long-ago kindness towards the women of the Apple Family had been only as something small, a means by which to build confidence and hope towards a better future. Celestia, Princess of the Sun, had always believed she would be alone. Even when she had first felt Applejack’s pure, unadulterated passions against her lovely flesh, it had been so easy to believe nothing would come of it.

Then came the unexpected surprise: Applejack, in their time together, had come to have affections for her. Not some passing fancy like a leaf in the wind, but a well of deep feeling. This young, beautiful creature had actually come to care for her. When Applejack had first asked her out, the resplendent Princess had thought it were a joke. Surely she wasn’t serious? It had taken asking a second time around to actually be convinced- and three wonderful dates to consider what they shared was for real. Sexual lust, driven by loneliness, faded- and was replaced by longing for one and only. Kisses that had come from desperation turned to gifts of affection. Comfort, given life by sadness, became a place of safety that could only be found in one another. She had fallen in love with this earnest, authentic farmgirl, and was given all of her love in return. For the first time in her life, Princess Celestia was truly loved; not for a crown, nor for power, but because of who she was. So of course she had said yes when Applejack had asked to marry her.

The two came to a slow halt at the top of the hill overlooking the northern orchards, the crop of apples that had flourished here glistening in the evening sun. It had been a work of effort the two women had undertaken together, not a drop of aid or assistance from any other soul in the family, nor any who pledged to the crown. Together they had tended to these trees, nurtured them carefully, and made them bear strong fruit. Had there been frustration at first? Yes, unfortunately- Celestia felt a niggle of shame at the remembrance of her own impatience, and the hurt that had come from Applejack’s anger in response to it. But they had been stronger for it, learning more of one another from what had started as a failing. Now, as they looked upon the results of their labor, she could not help but smile. Doubt and negative feeling had faded in light of love, and now they could see its splendid results.

Applejack gave a sigh, slow and wistful as they stood together. Celestia looked downward to her lover’s face and saw the tinge of melancholy grow beneath the freckles she wore like jewelry, the smile beginning to fade. “What is wrong, darling Applejack?” she asked of her.

“Oh, nothing big. I promise,” Applejack answered hurriedly. “Don’t worry about me none.”

Celestia leaned down and kissed her cheek softly, a gentle touch of comfort. “If it concerns your heart, my love,” she said, “then it is worthy of my attentions also. I am glad to listen.”

Applejack sighed again, letting the smile fall away in fullness this time to be replaced by a dulled, yet still-remembered grief. “I wish Granny were here to see this,” the farmgirl murmured. “That Sweet Apple Acres is actually gonna be OK. And her family is gonna be, too.”

“I know. I wish she were, also,” Celestia assented. “Even when she remember her, she won’t always feel present.” Her hands wove their way through Applejack’s wheat-colored locks, smoothing away tussles and breaks until the woman’s hair shone like an ungleaned field. “But look at what you’ve done with her home. And to safeguard her family’s future… Big Mac and Sugar Belle care for the homestead, your sister’s efforts have brought in a new ream of riches. And then there’s you- her heart beats on through your lifeblood, my love.”

It was true enough to put a stupor on the heartache. Big Mac and Sugar Belle’s children were lively and happy; Apple Bloom’s skills in machinery had brought about new business and surplus to the farm, so no tool would ever be replaced at a cost. And she, the steadfast face of Sweet Apple Acres, now would be intertwined with the strength of Equestria’s crown forevermore. The long, hard days of yesteryear could now be behind them, and the pain of loss tempered by love and hope of better days ahead.

“Thank you, sugarcube,” Applejack whispered. “I guess this is cause of you.”

“I did nothing!” Celestia replied, holding her head high. “All I offered was encouragement-”

“And had the government buy a lifetime stock in the farm,” Applejack added-

“And perhaps a little morale boost,” Celestia added, though not seeming to give ground. “What is here on this farm is because of you, darling Applejack. I’d hate for you to forget such a thing.”

“Oh, lighten up, you,” Applejack teased. “You’ve got to be all serious and mature all the blame time.”

“Only when I feel like it,” Celestia said. “But if you’d like to convince me to think otherwise…”

“Is that a challenge?” Applejack asked incredulously, delightedly. The hunger for this woman hardly needed much to be roused…

“An easy one for you to achieve, my love,” Celestia answered, gently guiding her fiancé over to a nearby tree and then settling just above its roots, letting her magnificent body spread wide as though begging to be tended to. “If only you would like to try.”

Applejack grinned, falling to her knees and creeping up slowly to the woman that would be her wife, cupping her face in a single, strong hand and bringing those soft lips to her own for a kiss, over and over because never would she tire of them. Each kiss they shared was a new experience, a new moment to be considered more priceless than gold. Celestia’s lips like honey in taste, soft as warm water on her skin. When she kissed this beautiful Princess, she was in joy- so she loved her lips.

Celestia broke away from her lover, though only by strong force of will that could separate her from such pleasant kisses. “Really, darling Applejack,” she said breathily. “I’d almost think you words were not serious.”

Applejack laughed, her eyes now gleaming as she took in her lover’s words in fullness. Celestia felt a glow within her heart at the sight of it, that bright sight of life that spoke to youthful exuberance and joy unfettered by bitterness. When she saw those eyes set aglowing, the green more deep and verdant than the leaves renewed by spring’s warmth, she saw within to the heart that guarded a better, peaceful way of life. And so she loved those eyes.

Hands reached to her robes, tugging gently so as not to tear and break the fabric. Complying with her lover’s wishes, Celestia wriggled and moved her way out of the clothing she wore until her body was brought to nakedness, the sun-kissed skin unblemished and smooth even after the many centuries. To feel it with her fingers, a sensation almost smoother than silk, brought goosebumps to her own. She loved to caress it, to tend to it like a garden. When she looked on that beautiful figure, she saw the life she valued more than her own. So she loved that figure.

The lovely, freckled visage of Applejack disappeared from Celestia’s view, but could not be forgotten. How could she ever hope to forget such a friendly smile, such loving warmth that came from it- especially when she felt the first gentle, tentative laps darting in between her folds. The compliant, generous tongue of this good farmgirl that now lapped away hungrily in the depths of her lower lips for whatever graces she could hope to bestow, for what fluids she could hope to drink of deeply. Celestia could feel each stroke that was given in love and grace and she began to squirm from the feeling of it that seemed to burst and fade across her body like a firework. For the gentle words that came from it, and for so much more, she loved that mouth-

A pause, a break in the outpouring of affections. As Celestia’s senses dropped their focus from Applejack’s lovemaking, that blonde beauty extracting herself so as to pay heed to her surroundings, the Princess also found herself occupied by something else: a sound, distant and faint, but certainly distinct. Not a natural sound of an insentient, unfeeling creature.

“Do- do you hear that?” Applejack asked slowly, face held by concentration. “It sounds like someone yelling something.”

Celestia made effort to pause and listen. Something was there, distant as though across the other side of the world- and it certainly sounded human in nature. But what it was she wasn’t quite sure of, and it soon disappeared from audible hearing. Another momentary pause and there was nothing. “Strange.”

“One way of putting it,” Applejack remarked, though her eyes were starting to regain that desirous glow. “I guess… nah. Were you saying something?”

“I don’t believe so,” Celestia answered. “Not anything consequential yet, my darling farmer.”

“Oh, is that what you think?” Applejack replied, crawling upwards along Celestia’s pristine form to grant a dampened, sweetened kiss, the tip of her tongue massaging the fabric of her lips. “How much longer before I start to make you sing?”

Celestia did not have to wait very long before she could answer that question, the two bound together in the bonds of love. Shared, and shared experience.

Rainbow Dash knew it was weird. Of course it was weird, she was spying on an engaged couple as they walked on private property while she remained far at a distance with her gaze fixated upon them, using eyesight that would make a falcon jealous. Normal people probably didn’t do this. This was unusual, somewhat petty, and on the strange side of legal.

But hot damn, it was weird as shit- and it didn’t stop Rainbow Dash from keeping an eye on the couple as they flounced through the trees like a giggling pair of idiots. There was so much to despise in this; whether it be that soppy, cloying smile on that fuck-stick of a Princess’ face or the appalling realization that Applejack was actually going along with it! The entirety of the sight made Rainbow want to gag; this was a travesty of justice, and she couldn’t think of a way to fix it! How was she supposed to have zealous, spirited, breath-stealing fuck-sessions with Applejack if this putz was in the way? Life just wasn’t fair. That should be her down there with that freckled-face farmer, waltzing through an apple orchard that would give life to an endless supply of sweet, sweet cider! Instead, she was having to see that royal clown in her place and being some ungodly pretender to the throne.

Rainbow shifted herself further along the ridgeline. They’d fallen out of sight on the edge of the northern orchard (had she helped seed that one? She couldn’t quite remember) and she needed to reposition herself. She had to see this was all for real and not some horrible joke, some wicked dream that her own mind had somehow concocted in some effort of self-torture. Was Applejack really going to marry this necromantic whore?

A slip and fall, Rainbow Dash nearly crashing down half the hill before she managed to return to a safe footing. “Damn it all,” she muttered, wiping away the specks of dirt that now clung to her flawless, muscled legs. Now, where had that hussy gone with her beautiful redneck? She’d lost sense of placement, an easy thing to do at this great a distance. She looked forward yet again and saw movement beneath one of the apple trees-

Oh god.

Oh GOD.

When Twilight Sparkle had been told the news, it had come to of little surprise. Beautiful Princess Celestia, the ruler of Equestria, her dear mentor and the woman she had crushed on for most of her life, was getting married to one of her closest friends. It had been something easy to see whenever Applejack had talked of that radiant woman, an inevitable reality that seemed so impossible to miss. Of course the engagement came as little surprise, and the delirious happiness she saw on her dear friend’s face was more than enough to deaden whatever sense of jealousy and disappointment might have come in reaction to it.

When she had first found out that Applejack was seeing the Princess had come as a shock. Years ago, a confused and uncertain farmer had wandered through her door with tales of a teasing Princess that had left her with a goodbye kiss. The story had been shocking, and nearly debilitated the poor librarian. It was a horrid moment to realize that a long-time, deeply held affection would forever be unfounded. Celestia had never cared for her, her prized student, in such a romantic manner. Instead, it would be to one of her friends.

Twilight could have called it a cruel irony. A sneering twist of fate. That sort of natural mockery that arose out of the course of life, destined to poke and prod at a wounded spirit. But when time had been allowed to pass, the perspective had changed. She saw how happy the Princess’ affections made Applejack, how at ease the farmgirl had made Celestia. How could she remain jealous and disappointed in the face of such things? A schoolyard crush on a favorite teacher faded as new thought tempered immaturity. She could be happy for her dear teacher, and for her hard-working friend. They were happy, in love, and made all the better together. Besides, her own happiness had been tended to in a fashion, hadn’t it?

When the engagement had been announced, Twilight was genuinely happy for them both. The announcement party had been delightful, the time with her friends had been well-spent, and there had been laughter to make it all better. When she looked upon Luna and Fluttershy to see the affections that they quietly lavished upon one another, it took little presence of mind to realize another wedding would not be far down the road. There was so much to be happy about that she hadn’t noticed Rainbow Dash was absent until after they had crossed paths the very next day.

Fluttershy had brought her the news, and Twilight made up her mind to go pay the oblivious athlete a visit. Somehow, Rainbow Dash hadn’t figured out Applejack and Celestia had been together, despite the royal courtship having gone on for over two years. When she had found out, Fluttershy told her, the reaction had been- poor.

And when Twilight pushed open Rainbow’s already-ajar front door to be met by the repugnant pong of stale drink that billowed out to meet her, she knew this was probably not going to go well. Parading through unopened mail (one shiny invitation easily sighted in the mix) and tossed bottles of liquor, it would not take a detective to ascertain clues that Rainbow Dash was not dealing with this well. The smell was just gravy to the matter.

“Oh, this is just unsanitary,” she muttered, wading through the sea of refuse and into the darkened living room where Rainbow Dash lay gasping, a choking sound that sounded like screams being held by tears rasping from her throat. The half-empty bottle in her hand was precariously balanced, seemingly eager to tip over and spill its contents onto the marble floor. “Rainbow Dash, are you alright?”

“She stole my girl,” Rainbow answered, though not seeming to actually speak to Twilight at all. “That skeezy ho stole my girl.”

Twilight felt a flicker of anger at that. Celestia had been her long-time teacher, a patient, ever-gentle spirit that had treated her kindly. “Princess Celestia isn’t some moustache-twirling villain, Rainbow,” Twilight said in a manner of forced calm. “And Applejack isn’t your girl. She’s engaged, you should be happy for her!”

“How did it happen so fast?” Rainbow wailed. “One day Applejack was pining after Rarity, all sad and mopey… and then the next! She’s eating Princess Pussy!”

“Classy. Rainbow, you do realize that Applejack and Princess Celestia have been dating for over two years, right? That they have been romantically entangled for a long time?”

Rainbow Dash glared at her, not happy to be reminded of a fact that she had somehow missed. Feeling like an idiot wasn’t one of her favorite hobbies. “Shuttup, Twilight,” she muttered, bringing the liquor bottle to her lips and downing most of its remaining contents.

“What? I didn’t say anything mean or anything!” Twilight protested. “Rainbow, you’re being silly. I get being upset, but this is an overreaction! You’re just… hurting yourself at this point! Be sad, but let it be. And then be happy for Applejack! She’s getting married, for heaven’s sake. She wants us to be part of the wedding!”

“Yeah, not… shit- not gonna happen!” Rainbow declared, trying to rise up from her place on the couch and failing. “The only wedding Applejack and I will be in will be- be- be, fuck- will be ours! And then we’ll fuck in front of everdoby! Fuck, I mean-”

“Because this is a healthy coping mechanism. Rainbow, just let it go,” Twilight insisted. “Accept Applejack is getting married, and let it go. Besides, you had a chance to date her, more than once! But you liked Rarity instead, and then you two broke up. So what if Applejack is marrying someone else?”

“Because is- it- it should be me!” Rainbow cried. “She should want me, not some prissy-faced bitch!”

“That b- woman you’re referring to is my favorite teacher,” Twilight replied, now struggling to bite her tongue. “Be kind, Rainbow. And don’t feed your immaturity, it’s not worthy of you.”

“Yeah, yeah. OK, cool. So where’s Fluttershy? I’m gonna eat her pussy,” Rainbow Dash slurred. “I bet she’d be up for it.”

Twilight looked like she couldn’t believe her ears. “Rainbow, are you actually serious? Please- oh come on, Rainbow! You had to know that was happening!”

“Know what- oh sweet hell-”

“Fluttershy has been dating Luna for almost a year now,” Twilight answered. “They’re private, yeah, but Fluttershy is your best friend. They’re probably ‘Royal Wedding 2.0’ not far down the road- and they’re so cute together, come on, Rainbow.”

Rainbow Dash clearly had not known and seemed inclined to vomit in response rather than speak. When she found her voice in the midst of her stomach’s contents, she spluttered, “Well, but- how about Rarity? We were together before!”

“She’s been dating Fleur-De-Lis. You know, the model from Canterlot?”

Rainbow was now clearly drowning, desperately flailing for something to cling to. “W- what about you? You wanna make out with me?” It was almost a plea.

Twilight now felt very much under examination and she gave a nervous giggle. “So, uh, funny story-”

“Don’t you dare,” Rainbow growled.

“I’m… polyamorous? Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle came to me when they were both eighteen and… well, uh-”

“Oh you're shitting me!”Rainbow absolutely screamed, leaping up from her place on the couch with a roar that could split the rocks. “What sweet, unholy manner of fuck! What a bunch of bullshit!”

“You’re not taking this well,” Twilight said hastily, backing away from her enraged friend and towards the still-open front door. “Tell you what, I’ll come back when you’re not an angry lump of oblivious drunkenness and see how you’re doing. Sound good?”

Rainbow reached for the nearest bottle she could find so she could throw it in her smarmy friend’s face, only to remember she had one in her hand- but paused, because that still had liquor in it and she wanted to drink that, so she took one from the mantelpiece and decided to throw that one instead. When she turned back around to take aim, Twilight had already disappeared.

A scream echoed through the palace of a house, Rainbow now wandering through the halls in a sloppy, drunken rage. None of this should have happened. She should be marrying Applejack! She should be eating sweet apple farmer pussy, making apple cider and getting richer than an oversized fat-cat. But she was here in her tiny little house and drinking herself to death! And who was to blame for all this?

“Celestia,” Rainbow Dash snarled, coming to an abrupt halt in her wandering. “Dammit, I’m not gonna have it! I’m gonna… I’m gonna win Applejack back and I’m gonna, gonna, gon-” She stood absolutely straight and bellowed at the top of her lungs, “I’m gonna kill that stupid heaven-haired bitch Princess Celestia, even if it’s the last thing I do!”

Determination flowed through her, giving vibrant limbs strength and fire. She was invincible, she was unstoppable, she would soon have her beloved in hand and prevent a catastrophic marriage-

“Hurk- OHFUCK!” Rainbow chocked, promptly gagging before she puked all across the floor.

Author's Note

This is stupid.
This is also fun.

Whatever. Keep reading. Yap away, if you feel like it.