Chapters Celestia shoots everything and everyone.
The first and last chapter.
“Hello, Celestia, why have you come to Ponyville?” Twilight Asked, as Celestia had shown up without any explanation.
“wOaH wHaT aRe We DoInG HeRe?” Discord asked, appearing out of nowhere.
Celestia’s clones then duplicated again, and again,soon they numbered in the millions, they spread over Equestria like a plague of locusts, unloading obscene quantities of lead into everything they came across, yet nothing died, these bullets seemed to only induce pain, not actual damage.
The Celestias then spread into space, they continued their process, they sprayed enough lead to create a blackhole.
“OH YES HARDER!” Luna yelled as 1462967482754628 Celestias simultaneously shot her up.
“ZOUCH!” Cried the entire population of The Czech Republic.
Celestia then loaded her 747 and shot it at every single tower in existence, making Andrew Yang catch on fire, which Celestia put out by shooting him with an incendiary round.
“We’ve got to stop Celestia, she’s gone too far!” Applejack shouted over the din of constant gunfire.
“MUAHAHAHA!” Celestia283 cried with glee from the highest tower of canterlot.
“You didn’t drown me, I survived in the lake, biding my time, giving wisdom to those who passed by, I am invincible.” He stated.
The Panzer then flipped off the Balcony into the Streets of Canterlot, which was very impressive, considering that he was a tank.
“Please forgive me, I was not myself.” She croaked.
Celestia died without a sound, the ponies that had stood captivated stood shocked for a moment, then they began to clap, and cheer, the roar of the crowd grew.
“Equestria no longer has a leader!” The Panzer announced to the crowd, they very quickly fell silent. “You are leaderless, therefore I nominate myself to lead!”
The Panzer Of The Lake wasted no time making himself the Totalitarian Dictator of Equestria, the ponies grew accustomed to his rule, but he spent more and more on building more panzers… until 20 years later.
“FCUK! I’VE BEEN ALIVE ALIVE ALL THIS TIME HAHAHAHA SHE SAID.” She said, incorrectly. “GEORGE YOU ASSHOLE!” She added at the asshole.
The ponies show up in Canterlot.
They all agreed to never mention this event, Celestia erased all mention of this from everypony’s memories, and life continued as before.
Author's Note
I was bored, and I felt like writing anything, so I spewed this out, I hoped you enjoyed, I don't think I'll ever revisit this, now if you excuse me, I have several terrorist attacks that need organising.*
*To those who think I'm serious: https://www.dictionary.com/browse/joke
Celestia shoots everything and everyone.
Fine, I lied, there's more of this story.
“Hey, you guys remember that super fun time that we had yesterday?” Celestia asked.
Twilight sighed, and said “Just please stop.”
“Do we go after her?” Fluttershy contributed to the conversation, for once.
They all turned and started at you really intensely, turning this from a 3rd person narrative to a 2nd person narrative. Their stares seemed to be intensifying factorially, you felt really, really uncomfortable, like really: you had never felt this uncomfortable in your life ever before.
It felt like they had been staring at you for years, in fact: they probably had been, you chuckled, it was an uncomfortable sound, it hitched in your throat and made you uncomfortable. But the thing that made you really uncomfortable was that the author was dedicating this much of the story to having the main characters do naught but stare at you.
“Woah, what are you guys doing? You’ve been gone for 3 days, I came to check on you- wait, were you staring at the audience again?” Starlight said, walking in.
“You know, Lorx won’t read this story, so literally nobody will understand your comparison.” Twilight said with a straight face.
Reverse card beating slovakia no rights later. (Hats off to you if you understand what that means.)
“I AM A NIGGER BRONY!” Yelled an OC that was completely out of place.
“I AM REDUNDANTLY SUPERFLUOUSLY BEHAVING AS A SESQUIPEDALIAN!” Celestia yelled suddenly, teleporting onto Pinkie Pie’s back.
Celestia was doing flips through the air, she was acting really hyper-active, ridiculously so, everypony was confused, then Celestia let out a large burst of energy and she shot off towards a mountain, she made no move to avoid it, everyone cringed.
“Why are we still here, there is no more story plot?” Starlight asked.
The Mane 7 stood in The Friendship castle, overlooking the Cutie Map.
Suddenly, everypony's' Cutie Mark started to glow the map zoomed out immensely and revealed a huge world that nopony had ever seen before, and their marks hovered over a small plateau at the top of a gargantuan mountain.
“Well, we better get started then!” Rainbow Dash said.
Author's Note
Fimfiction removed this for not having a high enough word count, so I thought screw it, and I’ve just set this story out on the plan of a long adventure that I’ll never have the time or commitment to finish.
Celestia shoots everything and everyone.
The Mane Seven had boarded The Friendship Express to take them to the edge of Equestria, they would stop at a place called “The Southern Ice Plain,” which was odd, considering it was considered a desert.
The trip took the better part of a week, and when they finally arrived they just found a small campsite and a path that led up a small mountain, which looked very out of place, considering it was the only mountain around, in all other directions there was naught but a desolate expanse of frost, at the top of the mountain, there was supposedly an isolated village, there they would stop and look at their current options.
There was a small group of ponies that were already starting up the mountain, so they decided to follow them.
~1 hour later.
They all emerged at the top, they saw a loose cluster of an odd dozen houses, in the middle sat a stout building, and there was sign that described the building as a tavern, it had a few beds, but there were rarely travellers that went this far out.
They pushed open the door and went in, there they saw an assortment of villagers drinking alcoholic beverages.
After a slightly restless night sleeping in old, low quality beds, the Mane Seven set out again for the Ice Plain, they exited the building, but before they had made it halfway across the village, they were intercepted by a young mare.
“Please, take me with you!” She said.
They agreed to take her with them, but they would all keep an eye on her, after all, she could be a servant to whatever cruel god had thrust them into this place.
They stood at the base of the mountain, Twilight was reading her magical projection of a map for directions, when she finally spoke.
The trek began, their full packs weighing on their backs, as they began across the desolate expanse of frost. They went on for hours, non-stop, nopony said anything, as there was no need for unnecessary speech, everypony was already dedicating their concentration to keeping their balance on the treacherous ice.
After what seemed like forever, Starlight spoke.
In an unknown location.
A child sat on a great throne, gazing through a purple flame at a projection of the ponies, it had a faint smile on its lips.
Back at The Ice Plain.
The ponies trekked on for the remainder of the day, when the sun finally went down, they all ached all over, and were cold, Twilight told them to start a camp, preferably she would’ve picked a sheltered spot to protect them from the harsh wind that they were starting to feel more heavily as they were no longer moving.
“We need a sentry to keep guard for any threats.”
The night was much uneventful until Starlight filled in, she was just settling into her post as Moonlight went to sleep, she saw something low on the horizon, it was low to the ground and slowly creeping, Starlight cast a spell of night vision, why didn’t she do this at the start of the watch? Because she simply didn’t think of it.
“WOLVES!” She shouted, waking the camp, Rainbow was the first out, she looked around for a bit, and then she saw them.
Then Twilight aided her bolts with her own magic, immediately the bolts started penetrating, one went down, then another, and by the time they arrived their numbered 4 out of their original 32.
“Do we shoot them in the back?” Starlight asked.
Author's Note
Due to not having the motivation to work on that novel I'm meant to be co-writing, I did this instead.
