"Well then..." Anon said, to Lotus "Send in the next lucky mare."

The blue spa pony shuffled her hooves nervously. "Yes, well, about that..." she started to say as Aloe walked past her with two folding chairs, placing them on either side of Anon's massage table. Lotus gave Anon his clipboard with his next appointment sheet before she turned and scurried out.

Anon glanced at the name. "Oh."

"Oh, indeed," his client said.

Anon looked back up at the doorway and greeted her, "Madam Mayor."

"Mister Anon," Mayor Mare returned the greeting in kind, if a bit curt. "Take a seat." It wasn't an offer. It was an imperative. "We need to talk."

"Fuck." If Anon had to count all the times a female said 'we need to talk' to him, about something good, he would need zero fingers. "What's this about?"

The beige earth pony silently motioned to the chair at the table and waited for him to comply. He sat down and she did the same in the opposite chair across from the table. Her grey mane shifted slightly as she took a thick file folder from her bag and plopped it onto the table in front of him. It was one of those old-fashioned folders that closed with a button and a length of thin string. Her bold, blue eyes looked at him over her spectacles resting on her nose as she slowly undid the string and flipped open the folder. Inside were innumerable invoices and receipts. Some of which Anon recognized.

"As you can see we've had our eye on you for some time now, Mister Anon," she said. "It seems that you've had quite a busy week."

"Has it been a week?" Anon asked.

Mayor Mare gave noncommittal hum as she looked at the invoices and compared them to the spreadsheet from her office. "Six days. But who's counting? Leave that to the bureaucratic bean counters in Town Hall. Oh... wait..." Mayor Mare's lips peeled back into a devious grin as she ran her hoof down the midline of her chest. She looked back at the stack of papers.

"This is an awful lot of unreported income," she said in an accusatory tone. "And what's this?" She presented a receipt as long as his arm and noted the total at the bottom. "A hefty sum spent in Canterlot at... The Crop?"

"Business expense," Anon said.

"Oh?"

He motioned to the shelves of 'tools' behind him.

"I imagine you'll be filing those as a tax deduction?" she asked, adjusting her glasses.

"That'd be nice."

"I bet," she said in an implying tone. She looked through a few more pages before she put them back and flipped the folder shut. "The deadline to file your taxes is the fifteenth of the month."

With how busy he had been, Anon had actually lost track of the date. "And today is?"

"After the fifteenth."

"Oh."

"Yes."

"Wait- Am I in trouble?" he asked.

"Well that depends. Trouble is such a vague, amorphous concept. A sliding scale. Degrees of trouble."

"Can't I- you know, file for an extension?" he asked.

Mayor Mare bit her lip and practically shivered at the word. "Oh, Anon, you rapscallion! Are you offering me a bribe?"

"What?"

"Are you propositioning a public official with sssexual favors in exchange to turn a blind eye to your tax evasion?"

"Uh-"

"Why just the thought of it is positively scandalous!" she gasped. "You'd be risking even more jail time and I'd be risking my entire political career if this ever left the room!"

"Wait, more jail time!?"

"Oh, you lecherous fiend! Striking at the height of the spring heat to take advantage of me in the throes of estrus, when I'm my most vulnerable! Why- if you were to try to seduce me now, I shan't think that I'd have the willpower to resist your masculine wiles!" She threw her hoof across her forehead dramatically. "Especially after having watched you ravage those poor mares on the day of your licensure!"

Anon rolled his eyes. "Okay. I see what's going on here. Look, why don't you just get up here and we can get on with it?" he asked, patting the massage table with his hand.

"Curse your psychic human powers!" she said, putting the folder back in her bag and getting up onto the massage table. "Alas, my tail flags so!" She said as she laid on her belly. "Why, at such a display, it would be of no effort for you take complete advantage of me, and I'd be utterly helpless to stop you from rutting me to completion! Such a fall from grace! For a mare of power to be brought low and degraded so, for dirty money! I'd be forced to endure your human penis sliding in and out of me for minutes! Several even!"

"Alright, slow your roll," Anon said. "Roleplay is fun and all, but you're laying it on a little thick."

"You're one to talk," she said, eyeing the bulge in his shorts.

"Okay, as I said," Anon pulled her tail downward to cover her marehood. "Slow your roll! Meatloaf!"

"What?"

"That's the safe-word; Meatloaf."

"What?"

"I would do anything for love, but I won't do that?"

"I don't get it."

"Fine. Whatever!" Anon huffed in frustration. The best safe-word ever, and it was useless in world that didn't understand the reference. "Look, you have a whole hour and you don't need to skip straight to the dicking." To say nothing of the fact that he was still recovering from his last trio of clients.

"I've seen how long you can last, Anon," Mayor Mare said, looking back at him over her shoulder and licking her lips. "I only regret that I couldn't have come over here straight away to book an appointment sooner."

"Okay, well, dial the dramatic flair back a bit. I think somebody has been reading too many erotic novels," he said.

"Well how do you like to unwind after a long day of work?"

"By doing-" Don't say Ketamine. Don't say Ketamine. Don't say Ketamine. "tax-deductible volunteer work for the local community?"

"Mmhf! You know just what to say to get my juices flowing, Anon!" she mewled. "You don't know how stressful it is running a whole town. This town of all towns!"

"Really? Ponyville seems pretty... boring, to be honest."

"Huh!" Mayor Mare scoffed. "You have no idea, then! Ever since that day when Twilight showed up, it's been a parade of disasters!"

"You mean the princess?" Anon asked.

"I mean from before she was even a princess!" Mayor Mare said, tilting her head from side to side, feeling a headache coming on just from the memories.

Anon stood beside her and placed his hands on her collar bones. "Whoa! Are you smuggling golf balls in your shoulders!? Your back has more knots than a diamond dog orgy! How much stress are you carrying!?"

Mayor Mare stared off a thousand yards into the distance. "There's not enough aspirin in the world for a headache as big as that mare..." She melted under Anon's skilled hands as he started to massage her muscles. "The day that she arrived in Ponyville, Princess Celestia went missing and Nightmare Moon tried to bring about eternal night! And then after that there was the Ursa Minor, the Dragon smoke, and the Parasprites!"

"I don't know what a pair of sprites is," Anon said.

"Count yourself lucky!" Mayor Mare said. "After that there was the first time Discord returned, and made Ponyville the chaos capital of the world."

"Yeah... We've met."

"Then there was the time Twilight enchanted her doll, Luna returned on Nightmare Night to terrorize everypony, and the time Spike turned into a giant dragon!"

"Twilight's Spike?"

"Yeah, but the size of a mountain!" she said. "Of course that wasn't as bad as when Trixie returned and enslaved the whole town to challenge Twilight to a magic duel. Or the other time Discord returned. Or the time Twilight switched all her friends' cutie marks around. But that was how she became a princess, after all."

"I don't follow."

"It's a long story. But even once she became a princess, that wasn't the end of it!"

"No?"

"Oh ho, no! Oh it only got worse! After that, the Everfree forest itself attacked the town! And the Tirek incident!"

"Oh yeah. I think I read about that one."

"Changed the very landscape! You can still see the scars in the land! Not to mention that eyesore of a castle!" she said.

"It's nice."

"It completely clashes with the rest of the town's aesthetic! And she doesn't even use it anymore now that she's in Canterlot! After that, a mere bugbear attack hardly even registered. But the entire town pulled together into a mass dream to fight a Tantabus was something I never thought could happen!"

"A what now?" he asked.

"Ask Princess Luna about it," she said. "Actually, better to not mention it."

"And you were mayor for all of that?" he asked as he kept massaging her shoulders.

"Mhmm," she said. "Still, as much of a pain as she was, better than to have had her, all her friends, and the princesses replaced by evil changelings."

"Evil?"

"Before the hive's reformation," she added. "And then she opened that new school in my town, which is stressful enough when everything goes right, which of course it didn't! So of course I had the Equestrian Education Association chancellor breathing down my neck! He was almost proven right when that accursed Cozy Glow nearly destroyed all the magic in Equestria!"

"Oh, right. The small one from the statue."

"Between her, Tirek and Chrysalis teaming up, they very nearly destroyed the world by bringing back the Windigos!" she said.

"So everyone keeps reminding me," Anon grumbled, thinking about Chrysalis back at his house.

"And of course all the many many things that have happened since Princess Celestia and Luna retired," Mayor Mare lamented. "Sure, Twilight and her friends get the glory saving the day. But who has to deal with all the paperwork!? Me!"

"Yeah, I can tell," Anon said, literally feeling the stress in her back. "So why stay mayor?" he asked.

"You say that like I have a choice," she said. "Did you hear any of what I just said? Nopony else wants this job. I've been running unopposed for the last twenty years!"

"You can resign, can't you?" he asked. "What about your deputy mayor?"

"You're massaging her," Mayor Mare said. "If I were to quit, it would be anarchy until there was a nationally-overseen referendum to appoint a new mayor. And until then, the leadership would fall to the senior-most townspony."

"Who would that be?" Anon asked.

"Take a wild guess."

"You?"

"Bingo."

"Wow."

"Yeah."

"Okay, the amount of stress in your shoulders is making a lot of sense right now. Why haven't you done anything about this sooner?" he asked before moving down along her back.

"Like what? Rig the lottery so I'm the one getting rutted for the stud permits every spring?" she asked.

Anon shrugged. "Seems fair, all things considered."

"Yeah well, you can only get away with that twice," she grumbled.

"Still though, you should be able to have at least one stud for yourself."

"On my salary!?" she scoffed. "I'm a civil servant!"

"Hold up! So what about this?" he asked.

"I'm giving you a tax break," she said.

"Wait, was that part for real? I thought that was your idea of foreplay!"

She shrugged. "Can't it be both?"

"Fine. How are you not married, though?" he asked.

"Hmmf!" Mayor Mare huffed. She crossed her hooves and laid her head into the crook of her elbow. "Most stallions are turned off by a mare with power."

"I... I'm not sure that's true," Anon said, focusing on her lumbar.

Mayor Mare groaned more in frustration than pleasure. "I guess it's not so much that as it is... the sort of stallions I attract are the ones looking for a dominant mare. They're obsessed with my hooves, or they want me to sit on their face until they forget what sunlight looks like. And yes, that's... fun."

"But...?"

"But I've had to be in a position of leadership for my entire adult life!" she complained. "For once I just want a stallion that will take charge! Be dominant! Tell me how it's gonna be! Maybe slap me around a little!"

"That doesn't sound particularly healthy. Violence isn't sexy."

"I don't mean like, actual abuse. Just a bit of spanking. Maybe a bit of strangling."

"What!?"

"Yeah. Not enough to make me pass out. But just enough to get me light-headed."

"But why!?"

Mayor Mare thought a moment. "I don't know. It's hard to explain. Like, I don't want to die having sex. But I also don't want to know for sure that I'm going to live either."

"Do you think that's what subconsciously keeps you the mayor of a town with constant disasters?" he asked.

She narrowed her eyes at him. "...Maybe."

He worked his way back up her back, double checking every muscle he had massaged out, up to her shoulders and neck. "There, how does that feel?" he asked.

Mayor Mare tilted her head from side to side. "It's like... it's like I finally got rid of a low-level headache that I've had for so long I didn't even realize it was there."

"Yeah, sweetie. That's a tension headache," Anon said.

"Well being rid of that has certainly helped to bring more pressing matters into focus," she said, flicking his side with her tail.

"Oh yeah?"

"Oh yes," she breathed. "If some, much larger, much stronger creature were to overpower me, why, I don't think I'd be able to contain myself!"

"What? You mean if someone were to, say..." Anon pushed his palm against her upper back and leaned his weight onto her. "Pin the Mayor of Ponyville down like this?"

"Why I'd be quite immobilized!" she said. "Powerless to stop them from enacting whatever dark desires they might have upon my poor, helpless body!"

Anon wiggled his fingers on his other hand. "You'd be in quite a bit of trouble if they had a second hand like this."

"I certainly would be!" she said. "Why, they could take those wiggly digits and violate me! Anywhere at all, really!"

"Like in here?" Anon asked, running a finger up and down along her marehood before dipping it into the entrance of her hot vagina.

"I'd be scared that they wouldn't just stop at one."

"Oh, I'm quite sure that they wouldn't!" Anon said, adding another finger, and then a third while he used his thumb to play with her clitoris. Getting his forth finger inside her was a bit of an effort. "Quite a snug fit. It really has been a long time since you've had a stud, huh?"

"Far too long," she breathed.

"Is this a hot button issue for you?" he asked, making small circles on her clit with his thumb. He did little curling motions with his fingers inside her at the same time and with a small squeeze, her pussy leaked more lubricant down along his wrist and forearm. Her legs trembled and made small, fruitless kicks as she moaned into her elbow. "Is the mayor struggling with these hard-hitting questions?" She could only nod as she tried to stifle her moaning. Anon took his thumb from her clit and added it to his other fingers. Her pussy stretched around the widest part as he slowly pushed it inside. "This unseen hand is about to become an inside job!"

Mayor Mare could not silence her cry as his wrist slipped inside her.

"How does it feel being ruled with an iron fist?" he asked, sinking more of his forearm into her. "Maybe I'll just walk around town with you on my arm like a puppet government!"

"The scandal!" Mayor Mare cried out. "I'd never get elected again!"

"Oh I'm sure you'd still get your ballot box stuffed!" he said as he worked the length of his forearm in and out of her, moving his balled fist back and forth across her g-spot. He took his other arm and wrapped it around her waist to keep playing with her clit.

Mayor Mare could hardly keep herself composed. "All jokes aside, Anon, this really is wonderful. Honestly, I was just expecting you to dick me down for a few minutes, but this-!" she bit her lip as she came again, spurting out onto his elbow and dripping down onto the padding of the massage table. "You've no idea what a lost art that foreplay is on those other stallions."

"So I've heard. What about when you're 'sitting on their face'?" he asked.

She scoffed. "You can lead a stallion to water, but you can't expect him to know how to drink it correctly. All the ones who know how to do it well have all been snatched up and married."

"No on-the-job training?" he asked.

"I'm a busy mare! I have neither the time nor the inclination to tutor stallions that weren't raised right!"

"Raised right!?" Anon asked. "You don't mean to imply that mothers should be teaching their colts the finer points of going down on a mare, do you?"

"The mares could at least teach their husbands properly if you think that's more of a father-son lesson. It's not like I could get it to be added to the public school curriculum," she said. "And believe me, I tried. But the P.T.A. shot that one down quick! My foals' sexual education is my responsibility, they'd say. Yeah, well, you're doing a shitty job of it!"

The idea of his father teaching him how to eat carpet made Anon's skin crawl. "Maybe it could be a continuing-education course for stallions? Like, a course certification to give studs a better ranking? I'm sure you could get them to swallow their pride and take a course for a pay raise."

"Anon, that's brilliant! You could teach them how to be better studs!" she said.

Anon froze. "Wait, what!? No! Not me!"

Mayor Mare wiggled her rump at him, prompting him to keep going. The room was once again filled with the wet squelches of him fist-fucking her, elbow-deep in her pussy. "Ngh! I can think of nopony more qualified in pleasing a mare," she said. "And as much as I attract submissive hoof-lickers, most stallions don't like to be told how to do their job by a mare. But they respect you. I mean, they also hate you, but that's born more out of envy than anything else."

"That's not really making me feel better about this..." he said.

"We can charge a fee at the door, and I could subsidize the course with the revenue from the issued stud permits," she said. "You'd get your hourly rate for every seat that gets filled. If all thirty of the other Ponyville studs show up, well, you do the math!"

"Almost a week's pay in one evening..." Anon contemplated. "I... I'll think about it."

"Yes, well, you've been filly-bustering this mare long enough. I think it's about time we yay and neigh. What say we get out your knobbiest lobbyist?"

"Heh. I bet you're used to getting what you want," he said as he slowly pulled his arm out of her.

"Not as much as you'd think," she said as her hoof reached back and rubbed the bulge in his pants, bringing him to full mast.

Anon pulled off his pants and his hard dick sprang free, bobbing at her. "Well, you've managed to rig this erection."

Mayor Mare's eyes went wide. "That's bigger than I remember!"

Anon thought about trying to explain the incredible, magic properties of Celestia 'yonic temple', but decided it would be easier and faster to just say, "What can I say? It was a bit drafty that day in Town Hall."

"I'll have to retake your measurements," she said, licking her lips. "F- for posterity of course."

"Of course. But maybe later," Anon said. "Right now the only thing you'll be taking is-" Anon grabbed a fistful of her mane and shoved her face against the massage table, "...is some exit polling!" Mayor Mare yelped in surprise as he pushed his dick into her tight, puckered, inner circle. "How's this for a back-door deal?"

"How absolutely degrading!" she moaned in faux disgust as Anon sank the full length of his congressional probe into her refer-rectum. "Such a gross misuse of government assets!"

Anon gave her rump a firm slap, hard enough to leave a pink hand-print. Her vacant pussy winked and squirted against his balls as they slapped against her clit with every thrust, getting her to cum during anal sex in yet another first for her. He grabbed the base of her tail and pulled her ass back against him to meet his every thrust as he fucked her harder.

"Heh! Usually the government is the one fucking me in the ass," Anon said, watching her thick flank ripple every time he slapped his hips against hers. "Good luck being a sitting mayor after this!" Staying non-partisan, he reached across the divide to give a deserving slap to both the left and right side of her ass. "Get ready for me to deposit some soft cummy in your off-shore spank account!"

Mayor Mare's tongue lolled out of her mouth along with a loud, whorish moan as she came again. Her pussy gushed once more against his draining balls as she felt him throbbing and pulsing deep inside her ass, pumping her colon full. His grip on her mane relaxed and she just laid there panting. She could feel his cock still beating with his bounding heartrate, just as he could feel hers in her gripping o-ring.

While still plugged, she reached into her bag and grabbed his folder again, fishing out a form from the back along with a pen.

"What's this?" he asked, looking at it over her shoulder.

"It's a standard Double Yew Two form," she said, nudging the pen towards him. "Sign at the bottom, and report your earnings next year."

"Standard form?"

"Yeah. Aloe or Lotus should have had you fill one out. Or you could have picked one up from town hall."

"Wait? So you mean I'm not in trouble for tax evasion and all that other stuff?

"I... mayor may not have been fibbing about that."

"So I didn't need to exchange sexual favors and all that stuff we just did to stay out of jail?"

Mayor Mare shook her head, adjusted her glasses, and smiled. "No. But aren't you glad we did anyway? Now if you would..?" She shooed him to back away with a wave of her hoof. Anon backed off from where he was pinning her against the table and pulled his dick out of her ass. He wiped his government cumspiracy on her tail. She slid off the table and looked at the off-white stains in her off-white tail "Really, Anon? A smear campaign?"

Anon nodded dismissively at her. "Madam Mayor."

"Mister Anon." Mayor Mare grabbed her bag and exited the closed-door negotiations with a new partisan leaning.

Anon grinned as he watched the politician walking crooked.

"It suits her."

Author's Note

You can't fight Town Hall, Anon.
But you can fuck it.

I regret none of these political pundits.
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