Anon watched from his massage suite as Mayor Mare walked funny through the spa lobby to the exit. When she opened the door to leave, he could hear some commotion going on just outside. As much as he enjoyed his popularity- well, maybe 'enjoyed' was a strong word. As much as he prided himself on his job, he didn't want anypony getting hurt on his account. The last thing he needed was a riot of horny mares brawling outside.

Rushing outside, he didn't find a brawl, or an orgy. At least, he didn't think so. After having gotten kicked out with a water hose, his previous clients, the Cutie Mark Crusaders had gotten tackled by some kind of cat-bird thing. And now it looked like it was trying to squeeze the life out of them.

"Gabby! Let go!" Apple Bloom wheezed in the hug with her other two friends.

"Ooh, hoo, hoo! Look at you three!" Gabby squealed. "Did you just get Anon's happy ending!?"

"We-" Scootaloo tried to say.

"Oh I bet you did! Look at you, you're dripping wet!"

"Well, we-" Sweetie Belle squeaked before Gabby squeezed them again.

"You got his deep tissue massage? Did it help with your heat!?" Gabby let them go just long enough to pick up Apple Bloom again and look at her backside. "Ooh hoo! Look at you! Oh, he creampied you good, didn't he!?" Gabby was about to dip one of her claws into her pussy.

"Gabby, we talked about this! Bad touch!" Apple Bloom shrieked. Sweetie Belle's magic slapped Gabby's hand away and pulled Apple Bloom free.

"Anon, help!" Scootaloo cried.

"Anon!?" Gabby squealed. Her head turned all the way around like an owl to look at him and the rest of her body spun in place to follow. With a leap and a flap of her wings, she bounded into the air and pounced on him, pinning him on the ground. "Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh! It's you! Look at you! You look just like everypony said!" Anon was still not sure if that was a compliment or not. Despite pinning him down, the winged gryphon was built for flight like a pegasus, and didn't weigh that much. He lifted his hands up to push her off of him with a little effort. Standing beside him she grabbed one of his hands with her talons, inspecting his fingers. "Oh I bet these feel amazing!" She pulled him along back inside the spa. "Come on come on let's go!"

"Wait, I can't just-" Anon looked at the line of waiting mares.

"Ah, Miss Gabby," Aloe greeted in the lobby. "You're just in time for your appointment!"

"I know!" Gabby said. "I thought I was going to be late for my appointment because I had a lot of mail to deliver today but I did it really fast and came over here as fast as I could and I saw my friends outside and almost was late again but then I wasn't and oh my gosh I'm so excited!"

"Okay, so I guess you are my next appointment," Anon said as she pulled him back through the lobby to his suite. Her tailed flicked his door closed.

"All right, let's do this!" she cheered as she hopped up onto the table and waggled her rump at him. She made a fist with her claws and made a punching motion. "Go ahead and get right on in there! And maybe do like a... windmill!" She spread her palm out and spun her wrist quickly like she was aggressively waving hello.

Anon didn't even have a vagina and it still made him wince. He walked around to the other side to stand in front of her. On the wall he checked her name on his appointments clipboard and sighed. "Look, Gabriel, I-"

"Oh, you can just call me Gabby! Everypony calls me Gabby. Well- all my friends call me Gabby! But everypony is my friend, so it's true too when I say everypony calls me Gabby!"

"Gee, I wonder why..." Anon muttered.

"Yeah, only my dad called me Gabriel. So you really shouldn't call me Gabriel because it's not like I'm into that sort of thing where I call you Daddy and I've been a bad little gryphling. I mean unless you're into that sort of thing. Because if you're into that sort of thing then I'm totally into that sort of thing, Anon- I mean, Daddy! I've been a bad little gryphling! Mommy flew the coop and now I have to do the wifely duties! Are you gonna bend me over your lap and sp-mmmfph!?"

Anon grabbed her beak and held it closed with his hand. His his other hand he opened the nearby cabinet and grabbed a bottle of aspirin. Fuck, I am too sober for this bullshit... He tossed back a couple tablets for the headache he could feel brewing. He'd heard somewhere that being able to swallow them without a drink was a bad sign. Oh well, fuck it. "Are all gryphons this chatty?" he asked.

She shook her head, "Mm-mmm."

"Yeah I didn't think so. The only other one I met was Twilight's guard there... Greg- er Gallium or whatever."

She wiggled herself free of his hand. "You know Gallus!? Oh my gosh, that's so cool! He's like, a celebrity back in Gryphonstone! Princess Twilight Sparkle's bodyguard! I haven't seen him since he was a student at Twilight Sparkle's School of Friendship! What's he like now? Is he cool? I bet he's cool. How cool is he? Do you think he's into older gryphons?"

Anon grabbed her beak again. "It's not even noon. How does anyone have this much energy? What the shit are you on, and can I please have some?"

"Mm-mhn-mh-mfff." Anon let go of her beak. "On? I'm on a table, silly."

Anon rolled his eyes. I don't know what I expected. "I meant what you have in your system."

"Well, hopefully you soon."

"I..." Anon trailed off and shrugged. "You know what? I can't even be mad. That was slick as fuck."

"Boy I sure am!" she said excitedly rubbing her legs together. "Speaking of! Let me tell you about the time I-" Anon reached for her beak again. "Okay, okay! I get it!" She grabbed the hem of his shorts. "Would you rather I use my mouth for something else?" she winked and snapped her beak at him few times.

"Hard pass!" Anon said.

"I'm really good, look!" she grabbed his hand and sucked one of his fingers, licking it with her tongue.

Anon snapped his hand away. "Gah! Your tongue is like sandpaper!"

"Thank you!" Gabby squealed. "Just imagine that on your pecker!"

"I- I don't want to." Anon felt his dick almost go from an outty to an inny. "And anyway, why are you even here? Do gryphons even have estrus?"

"Oh, we for sure do!" she said. "We're half eagle, and half lion." She patted her furry rump. "And the lion half goes into heat just like all cats do!"

Anon scratched his head. "Huh. I guess that makes sense."

"Yeah so, anyways..." Gabby urged, wiggling her hips again.

"And I thought I was impatient..." Anon grumbled. "You don't even want to be preened or anything?"

"You do that too? Dash didn't mention that!"

"Well, I don't remember doing that for her."

"Makes sense," Gabby said, tapping her chin with a talon. "She's pretty compulsive about keeping her wings in top form." She actually blushed. "I'm just surprised that any pegasus would let you do that. It just seems so intimate!"

Anon was confused. "Wait a minute. A second ago you were ready for my to shove my arm up your twat, but preening you is too intimate?"

Her blush only deepened. "It's different getting rut by a stud or gryphor."

"A gryphor?" Anon asked.

"A male gryphon," she explained. "And a female is a gryphoness," she answered before he could ask. "But my point is that's purely a physical exchange. Preening on the other talon is usually reserved for monogamous, partners in long-term relationships. Once a mother teaches her fledglings, its usually a solitary act."

"Like wiping your butt?"

"You wipe your spouse's butt?" she asked.

"I meant about it being a solitary act!"

"Oh. Okay. But would you?" she asked.

"Would I what?"

"Wipe your spouse's butt?" she repeated.

"Not if I didn't have to."

"Okay, but what if you had to? Wouldn't you want them to do that for you if you couldn't? Like if you were paralyzed or lost your forelegs?"

"Arms, by the way," Anon said, pointing at his upper limbs. "And if I was ever in a state where I was no longer capable of wiping my own ass, I would hope that someone would love me enough to smother me with a pillow and end my living hell."

"Geez, Anon! Don't you think that's kinda dark?"

"You asked!"

"Okay, what if it was just temporary?" she asked. "Like if they ate a Konlabos fruit, and they were paralyzed for a day before they went back to normal. And then during that time, they needed their butt wiped for them, would you do it?"

"And there's no nurse or anyone else around I could pay to do it?"

"Yeah."

"In that incredibly specific scenario?" he asked.

"Yeah."

Anon rubbed his chin, giving the hypothetical serious contemplation. He imagined his beloved spouse, laying there, paralyzed in bed, needing the most intimate of care. "Nah. Fuck em! They can wipe their own ass when their arms work again."

"Oh my gosh!"

"Hey, if my questions frighten you, then don't ask scary questions!"

"What if you had cubs someday and have to change diapers?"

"Do you see any other humans wandering around in this world?"

"What if you adopted?"

"I wouldn't."

"But what if you did?"

"If I somehow damaged my brain enough from drinking a can of varnish to think that was an attractive idea, I'd still at least make sure they were house-broken."

"Hey! Adopting is a very noble-"

Anon shouted to interrupt her, "How did we even get on this!?"

"Butt wiping."

Anon groaned and rubbed the bridge of his nose. There wasn't enough aspirin in Equestria for an annoyance as big as this catbird. "Okay. Fine. That one's on me." He mentally parkoured backwards through the conversation. "So no preening then?" She nodded. "Fine. It's just as well," he said, glancing at the wall clock. "We wasted enough time playing twenty questions. So, alright, this is still new territory for me. You're my first non-equine customer. Is it like a cloaca or something under there?"

"Don't be silly, Anon! I don't have a weird lizzer hole like a dragon."

"What? You mean like Spike?" he asked. She nodded. "Whatever. So what are we working with under here?" he asked as he lifted her tail.

Unlike the Spanish-exclamation-mark mare genitals he was used to seeing, Gabby's backside was more subtle in its features. Instead of a pronounced ponut ring of muscle, her anus was a simple pucker that looked closer to that of a human's. But her vagina was strikingly unique from either species. It wasn't the teardrop shape of a mare, or the puffy lips of a woman. It was almost triangular in its shape, with a forking cleave that made its shape look more like a fortune cookie. It was a darker shade of grey than her surrounding fur, closer to the color of her wings, and the tuft of fur at the tip of her tail. And compared to a mare's, it looked noticeably smaller.

He looked back and forth between her small nethers and the size of his thick arm. "Um, I actually think my dick should be enough."

"Oh?" She shrugged. "Well, you're the professional."

Anon didn't especially feel like a professional at that moment. But duty called. He pulled down his shorts and applied some lube to his penis, using the remainder on his fingers to probe around her gryphoness bits. The architecture was a simple-enough funnel shape leading to her centrally-located entrance. Still, he couldn't get over how much her back half looked like a cat's. But that was okay, Anon decided. A cat is fine, too.

Anon stuck his dick in and shrieked.

He pulled his dick out and shrieked louder. It felt like he had just given his dick a rug-burn. "It's like sandpaper!" he cried, cradling his reddened manhood gingerly in his hand.

"Well, yeah, from all the calluses," Gabby said.

"What?"

"Yeah, from getting scratched up so much."

"What!?"

"Just deploy your penis barbs."

"What the fuck!?"

Gabby rolled her eyes and turned around to look at his penis. She gave him a raised eyebrow. "What's wrong with your dick? It doesn't even have barbs!"

"Speak for yourself! It was like trying to fuck a desert in there!" Anon pulled up his shorts and shuffled away to grab one of the smaller toys off the shelf and load it with cum lube.

"It's plenty wet," she said.

"That's subjective," he said. "Turn around." Gabby did as he said and he stuck the tip of the toy inside her before depressing the plunger to pump the lube inside. He put the toy in the to-be-washed bin and came back to the massage table. A steady stream of the viscous lube was dripping out of her. "Alright, let's check it now." He stuck two fingers in and felt around. She was surely lubricated. But the wetness of an ocean didn't matter when it felt like he was fingering the sand at the bottom of it.

He pulled his fingers out and turned around to go through another storage bin. He fished out a box and grabbed one of the foil packets inside. Without gloves for his hand shape, a stallion condom would have to do.

"Alright. This'll have to do," he said, with his fingers making a coned tip to the rubber cylinder. He put two fingers back inside her. He could still feel her course texture, but at least it wasn't his skin getting the abrasion. She easily took three and then four fingers, easily stretching to an obscene degree for its small starting appearance.

Are you alright?" he asked. She nodded. Anon added his thumb and the rest of his hand slid inside her thoroughly-lubricated pussy. "Um, don't take this the wrong way, but you're really stretchy."

She snorted. "Well, duh! We have to be, to lay eggs."

"Gryphons lay eggs?"

"Yeah."

"Do green gryphons lay green eggs?" Anon asked.

Gabby scratched her chin. "I don't think so. But Greta is green-ish. I'll have to ask her the next time I see her."

Even through the rubber, he could still feel the course texture of her vagina. But at least now he wasn't giving his arm a rug burn. But Gabby, for her part was looking bored.

"So are you sure you want me to be..." he mimicked her waving motion with his free hand, spreading out his fingers.

"Yeah," she nodded. "Anything like that. Whatever gets your claws into the mix."

"Claws?" Anon asked, looking at his fingernails, which he always kept closely trimmed as a courtesy. With his other hand inside her he did his best to spread out his fingers and 'claw' at her insides through the rubber. She seemed pleased at first with the development, but that faded back into boredom, with just a hint of annoyance.

"Hey, Anon, I'm not trying to be grumpy gryph... But is this part of your foreplay, where you pretend to not be good at this?" she asked.

"Hey, I'm trying!" he said. "I told you, I've never had a gryphon before. This is new territory for me."

"Well, I really need it to be rougher," she said. "Not like, violent rougher. Like, texture-wise."

Anon looked at everything on his 'tool' shelves. As exotic as some of them were, they all came from a pony sex shop. He realized he would have to improvise.

"Wait here," he said. Anon pulled his arm out of her and walked out of the suite into the spa lobby.

In the waiting area, Spike the dragon was taking a letter from another mare to bring back to Princess Twilight in Canterlot. "Oh, is it my turn already? she asked.

Aloe did a double take seeing Anon, and looked at the clock on the wall, seeing that it was still early. "Is everything alright?" she asked. He shook his head without a word and went over to dig around in the supply closet. Gabby poked her head out of the suite and saw the dragon.

"Oh, hi Spike!" she called out and waved. He waved back politely. "Do you still have that barbed penis of yours?"

The pony next to him snickered. "Too loud, Gabby!" Spike scolded. "Too loud and too personal!"

"Ah ha! I have it!" Anon said triumphantly. He shooed Gabby back inside the suite as he put on the exfoliating mitt. The outside was as course as sandpaper. He made a few thrusting motions with it. Though it was shaped to be worn on a pony's hoof, it would suit his needs just fine.

"Anon, what in Equestria are you doing!?" Lotus asked.

Anon looked back at her dead in the eyes and said with all seriousness, "My job." And then he closed the door to the suite. Gabby hopped back up onto the table with cautious excitement. Anon brandished the mitt at her. "You wanna play rough! Okay! Say hello to my little friend!" He lifted her tail with his bare hand, and pushed the sandpaper mitt inside. Everything about the situation made him cringe.

But Gabby was clearly loving it. Her bird-half trilled with happy bird noises and her cat half vibrated at a sub-sonic frequency. He could make a pussy purr with a stroke of his hand. He had that cat-snatch fever. The tabletop's vinyl padding was put to the test as her talons gripped the corners of it. Her body trembled and shook as she finally got her long-awaited climax after so much frustrating edging. Anon could feel his success in her pussy quivering around his fist as kept going.

And then Gabby started to feel something. Something that she hadn't felt in forever. Pain. The exfoliating mitt had done its job, smoothing away the rough calluses of a vagina abused from years of barbed gryphon peckers. It reminded the gryphoness of what it was like the very first time she ever had sex. It made her feel... like a virgin.

"Anon, stop!" she begged. "I feel... It- it actually hurts."

Anon stopped at once. "But I thought you liked that," he said.

"It's not the good kind of hurt," she said. "Not anymore."

Anon pulled his hand out of the glove, still inside her. And then he tried his best to cup the glove in his hand to take it out. Putting his bare hand back inside, he was astonished to find that her rough interior was now just as smooth as any other. The simple contours of his hand, his knuckles and wrist made her squirm with fresh pleasure.

"I can feel that!" she said with surprised delight.

"You're ready." Anon pulled his pants back down and applied some fresh lube to his dick. He lined her up and pulled her hips back to meet his thrusting forward.

"Oh! Oh wow! I can FEEL that!" she squealed from her renewed sensitivity. "Oh my gosh oh my gosh! Let me roll over for this!"

Anon stopped just long enough for her to get her wings folded and roll over on the table. As soon as he started again, she grabbed his hands from her hips and moved them to her furry belly. He needed no further instruction and gave her belly rubs while he fucked her. She pressed her hind paws against his chest. He felt her claws against his skin. His hands grabbed her by the beans and moved them away. It was like having eight knives pointed at him.

"Retract those fuckers right now!" he shouted.

"S-sorry. I can't really control them."

He moved her legs under his arm pits to keep them immobilized behind him long enough to finish up. Which wouldn't be much longer at all. He got back to rubbing her belly and her whole body just vibrated harder. Now that the sandpaper vagina issue was smoothed over it was almost better than fucking a pony. "Shit, I should set up shop in Gryphonstone!"

"Oh yeah!" Gabby said between panting. "This'd be sure to improve their moods!"

Anon's thrusts became faster and more erratic before he hilted himself one final time to cum inside her and douse the flames of her heat.

"Hmm," Gabby hummed in tune with her satisfied purring. Her tail wrapped around one of his legs to hold him close while she felt him pumping his seed into her. She could feel the ache of her estrus melting away as his powerful hormones permeated into her bloodstream.

"Satisfaction guaranteed," he whispered.

A couple minutes later she finally let go of him to pull out and start washing up. As he did, Gabby sat up on the table. A moment later, she hunched over and groaned, clutching her belly. "Oh, ugh, Anon! I- I think I'm-"

"What? What's going on!?" Anon asked.

"It's coming!" she cried and started breathing fast. She laid back down and spread her legs. "The baby is coming!"

"What, what, WHAT!?" Anon spun on his heel and threw open the door. "I need a doctor!"

"Anon! There's no time! Come quick!" Gabby cried. Anon moved between her legs as she pushed. Her pussy bulged and stretched as it started to crown. The appropriately eggshell-colored eggshell appeared and grew larger as she pushed. With one final grunt she squeezed it out into Anon's nervous, waiting hands.

She sat up and composed herself while Anon held the egg in his hands with great care.

"Congratulation, Anon! You're gonna be a daddy!"

"I'm gonna be a daddy!?" Anon asked. He looked at the crowd gathering outside his suite doorway.

"Yeah!" Gabby said. "Hold it up to your ear and you can probably hear the heartbeat!" Anon held the egg up to his ear. Gabby slapped his hand as hard as she could, splattering the egg against the side of his face. "Sike! Geez Anon, it takes more than a few seconds to fertilize an egg!" She laughed hysterically before trotting out of the spa.

Lotus fetched Anon a towel while Spike walked through the crowd to put his hand on Anon's shoulder. "Don't feel too bad, Anon. Gabby pulled the same prank on me too the first time."

Anon stood there with literal egg on his face and looked at the crowd of ponies in the waiting area outside his suite. He toweled off with a sigh. "Alright. Who's next?"

That evening when Anon got home, Chrysalis met him at the door. Her usual, annoyed demeanor and resting bitch face were absent. She seemed almost happy to see him come home.

"Should I get dinner ready?" she asked.

Anon waved her off, "Nah, I think I've had enough egg for one day," he said as he settled onto the couch.

"Rough day at work?" she asked.

He scoffed. "Yeah. You would not believe the day I've had!" Chrysalis grabbed two bottles of cider from the fridge and sat down next to Anon. He took them both. "And you already opened them for me!" he said, taking a deep swig.

"Yeah, well, I was getting a little tired of you using my horn."

"You said it didn't hurt."

"Yeah, but it still felt... demeaning."

"Maybe that first time. But after that it was meant to be endearing."

Chrysalis snorted. "So tell me about your day."

"Well, at one point I thought I was going to be a father and then I got slapped in the face with an egg."

"Your first time with a gryphon, I take it?" she asked.

Anon cocked an eyebrow. "Is that a common thing?" he asked.

Chrysalis nodded. "Yeah. When a gryphon male loses their virginity. They call it getting shelled." Anon gave her a curious look. "What? You don't travel the world as much as I have without picking up a little bit of the culture." Anon belched at her. She rolled her eyes. "You could use some yourself."

Anon sat there and made love to his bottle of cider. Chrysalis sat beside him in the relative quiet, enjoying his latent affection. She shifted just a bit closer to touch his thigh with hers. If Anon noticed, he made no effort to move away.

"Hey Chryssi, can I ask you something?"

"You just did."

Anon chuckled. He couldn't be mad at his own wit being thrown back at him. "Let's say hypothetically I was paralyzed, and I wasn't able to wipe my own ass, would you do it for me?"

Chrysalis turned and looked him dead in the face. "Anon, if you ever ask me to wipe your ass for you, I will smother you with a fucking pillow!" She threw a couch cushion at him and stormed off to her bedroom. "Weirdo!"

Anon just sipped his drink and smiled.

Author's Note

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