"Oh yeah? I'm pretty sure Hitler was worse than that Dixie," James says, slightly slurred. His voice sounds light.

Dash wakes up, groggy. She hears that voice and her not functioning mind dusts off the start button. Jaemis? Jeimas! Stumbling over to the restroom, she empties her stomach into the toilet. Thank God, a small portion of her brain says.

"Hitler didn't hide behind a fake democracy!" Hans shouts angrily. He has a hoof to his forehead and is chewing on some jerky.

The two stallions made quite the dynamic duo. A third voice could be heard, but it was much quieter, as if it was not near the two. "Oh, my head," Twiwi? Dash thinks. No, that was… uh... Wawite! Dash giggles. Wawite!

"Hitler's Reich was the Weimar but with marshall law, ya know?" James says. "So, you were a 'democracy,"

Dash stumbles past Applejack's sleeping form, accidentally tripping over her. Abblewab! Giggling more, Dash hits the ground, sliding towards the couch.

"I… fuck off," Two laughs came from the kitchen. "That should be illegal,"

Dash notices a shape on the couch as she gets on her four hooves. Fwuttersy! Dash falls again, gets back up, and walks towards the mare, prodding her with a hoof. "Fwuttersy wakey! Wakey!" A giggle. "Wakey wakey!" Fluttershy groans, causing Dash to pout. "Fwuttersy! Wakey!" This time it is a demand. Fluttershy rolls over, waking up.

"Yes, Dashie?"

"Fwuttersy!" Dash takes Fluttershy by surprise with a hug. Giggling, Dash slips, causing her lead to land a bit too far south. Which only shocks Fluttershy further. Rarity takes that moment to enter.

"Oh my, dears… anyone could see you!" The drunken Rarity giggles. "If that's part of the fun, don't let me stop you…"

Dash jumps up, running towards Rarity. "Wawiwe!" Rarity takes a step back, causing Dash to miss her jump and hit her head on the floor.. "Ow… huh?"

"Are you… normal again?"

"Whaddamean,"

"I mean you just called me 'Wawiwe'," Rarity giggles again.

Dash freezes. "Um…" She clutches her head. "Aw, son of a bitch, that hurts!"

Applejack scoots over. "Ahee!" She embraced Dash, who smacks her. Feeling, Applejack falls on her plot. She groans, only now feeling her headache in full force. "Ow, tha' sure as hell hur's,"

"So, looks like two ponies just woke up," James calls out.

"Tha' drink 'as one hell o' a kick!"

Fluttershy sighs. "I'm glad I didn't have too much…"

"What?! Ya had, like, two bottles!" James shouts, laughing merrily. "And then three more after we di-" A slap sounds from the kitchen. "Ow, bitch!"

The mares freeze up. "Uh… did I hear him right?" Dash asks Fluttershy nervously. "Five bottles of that?*

Fluttershy suddenly wears a snarl. "Yes! I was tired of your stupid shit, Dash!" A shocked gasp comes from two mares; Rarity merely giggles again. "'Watch me do this!', watch me do that!'. You know what, I wanted a night of relief, which I got, so-"

"Um, 'scuse me Shy, but wha' was that James fella talkin' abou' doin'?"

Fluttershy freezes. "Us!" A laugh, then another slap sound from the kitchen. "Ow, son of a bitch!" James calls out again.

"Uh…" Fluttershy starts sweating nervously. Well shit.

"You… what now?" Dash asks, shocked. "I-"

A drunken James stumbles in, slurring his words. "She needed help, we provided! Ya know, shome great friends y'all are! Shine ya couldn't even shee there wass a-" James is yanked back. "Ok ok I'll stop!" He shouts, laughing.

"Uh…" Fluttershy sits there, her nerves fleeing her. Where did my bravery go?!

"Next time let me know!" Dash exclaims happily. Fluttershy looks up, confused. "Well, a friend in need is a friend in need, no? Even if it is slightly dirty,"

James scrambles into the room. "Bitch! I'll fuckin' kill you!" He shouts, grinning, into the kitchen.

"I'd like to see you try, peasant," Hans mocks.

"See you shall!" James charges back in, immediately being thrown out of the room. "Fine, fine, you win… I have my own stache of drinks, anyways…"

Rarity stands up, blushing. "I will go… check on those two," Turning around, she giggles and leaves the other three mares be. A portal is heard, followed by a quick shout and another giggle.

"So, Dash," Applejack begins awkwardly. "About that offer…"

CRYSTAL EMPIRE

"G'day!" Luna shouts merrily as Celestia walks by.

"Good morning, si- wait, what?!" Celestia runs to her sister's door. They were still in the Crystal Palace, so she trips once or twice. "Luna, are you ok?! You sound weird!"

"Oi, ya blimey! I just said g'day, no need to trip yourself up in a billybong," Luna sounds exasperated, though her eyes betray her pleasing feelings.

"What are you doing?" Celestia sounds worried.

"My imitation of an… Australian," Luna answers proudly. "Twilight dreamed about it… for maybe five minutes…" Luna's brows furrow in worry. "How well did she sleep?"

"Not too well, but I don't mind," Twilight says, yawning, as she recovers from silently teleporting behind Celestia. "Trixie needed help, so I had to do something about it,"

"Do you need our help?" Celestia asks, suddenly worried for their health. "If Blueblood was bo-"

"T-trixie had a… not so nice childhood," Trixie says shamefully. "So she wanted to spend time with her family…" She scrapes the ground nervously.

"Do they live here?" Luna says.

"Trixie knows you live here! Silly princess…"

"I'm sorry, but what," Celestia blinks.

Trixie turns to Twilight, sighing. "See, Trixie told you this wouldn't work! Let's just go home, and-"

"You're welcomed Trixie, don't get me wrong," At this, Trixie turns back to Celestia, eyes wide and brimming with tears. "'Twas just sudden,"

"I told you, Trixie! The princesses are nice!" Twilight says, beaming with pride.

"Yeah… well… but… yeah," Trixie says defeatedly. Twilight moves to her side.

"A little bit of warning would have been nice is all," Luna says. "What if we had plans for something?"

Trixie freezes. She stops breathing, closes her eyes and stands still. "Um… Trixie? Are you fine?" Luna seems worried. "I mean, if you-"

Trixie crashes into Twilight, hiding in her mane. Twilight is taken by surprise, but lets her stay. "PleasepleasepleasepleasepleaedontletthemhurtTrixie…" Trixie whispers to TwilightTwilight strokes her mane comfortingly, waiting while the diarchs stare.

"The princesses are not like your father, Trixie," she whispers. "You could punch them and they wouldn't lift a hoof,"

"Pleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleaseplease…"

"Twilight… what exactly happened?" Celestia asks, worry clear to see.

"That's Trixie's story, so I-"

"It's fine, Twi…" Twilight looks down to stare quizzically at Trixie.

"You sure?"

"Yeah…"

Twilight nuzzles her. "Ok…" Five minutes later, the diarchs have been caught up. Celestia looked distraught, worried for her family. as Luna sat there, numb. I did this. I was like this. FUCK!!!

"So, yes… do be gentle, please?"

"I…" Celestia and Twilight turn to look at Luna. "Oh… Well, I can say I feel like shit…" The room turns quiet for a few seconds as Trixie unburrows her head, a tear sliding down her cheek.

Thankfully, Cadence and Shining enter the room, Flurry playing with her father's horn. "Hello there… what happened here?" Cadence senses the tension and quickly changes from happy to worried.

Celestia sighs and brings the couple - minus child - and explains the situation in a nearby room. That means Twilight is left alone with Flurry and two mares, both questioning their right to live. What could go wrong?

Just that moment, Rarity and the stallions join her. "My, that was quite the spell…" It helps when you can't feel much of anything… Rarity pants and turns to view what scene she had disturbed. "Oh… hello…"

Trixie whimpers again, pressing closer to Twilight. Pleasepleaseplease no this isn't real they are fake Trixie is imagining ple-

"Uh… hey," James says shyly. "How've y'all been?"

"I've been much better," Luna admits. Looking towards a window, her eyes flash as she says "I'll get some fresh air real quick… yeah…"

A firm hoof stops her movement. "Nope," James shoves her down easily, stunning Luna as he holds her down. "I know that look,"

"W-why is the meaning of this?! I am Luna! Princess of the night!" Her roars sound quite loud in the fairly small room.

"All I see is a suicidal mare,"

"I could have you executed for looking at me!" Luna looks doubtful of her conviction.

"Yep,"

"Then why…"

"Because ya need help,"

"Wha-"

"You were about to throw yourself out of the window," Hans interjects.

"I… yes,"

"Point made,"

"I can get free, you know!"

A snort. "Not likely. I have my knife, a koli, and I will do anything to keep you put,"

"Koli…?"

"Gun. Kills people - or ponies - fast," At James' explanation, Trixie tears up again.

"Can I see it?" Luna's eyes gleam as she speaks.

"No,"

"I will buck you off!"

"I will mount you and ride you 'till we drop from exhaustion,"

The room freezes. Everyone stares at him, minus Trixie, shocked by the threat. "What? I said I'd mount her, then I-"

"'Mount'... differs here," Hans intervenes. "Quite a bit,"

"How so?" James seems worried. Good, maybe we won't die.

"You just threatened to rape a princess, James…"

The other princesses enter the room. "What?!" Celestia roars. "You can-"

"Oi oi oi! In my language, I threatened to pin her, not rape her!" He shudders. "Absolutely revolting! I would never rape anyone! Hans is way more likely-" A slap. "Yeah, I deserved that," He lets out a chuckle.

Twilight feels an odd, empty space at her neck. "Hm?" Looking down, she sees Trixie had bolted from the room, leaving the door swinging. Fuck! She scrambles into the hall, barely seeing Trixie's cape.

"Trixie!" Twilight calls. "Trixie!" A thud comes from the nearby stairs as Trixie runs up it. Twilight sprints up, still trailing Trixie. She watches as Trixie turns into a room and locks the door. "Trixie, I'm coming in!" she shouts, panicked

"No! Stay away!" Concentrating her magic, Twilight manages to break the physical lock, but the magical one takes more work. Struggling, she finds the flaw after a few seconds, and breaks down the door-

As Trixie plunges the knife into her stomach. Twilight watches in horror as Trixie collapses, intestines spilling out onto the cold tile.. "NO!!!" Twilight shrieks. Rushing to Trixie's side, she starts to apply medical magic, yet messes it up in her hurry. "Why?!" She struggles to see through the torrent of tears

"T-" A bloody cough. "Trixie doesn't wa-" A groan. "want to drag… the pretty mare… down…" A weak smile follows. "It's for… the best…"

Celestia comes barging in. "Wha- Trixie!" Celestia sounds angry. "Why?!" She properly applies medical magic. "Give me a minute and you'll be better,"

Celestia starts to carefully apply the first healing spell as Twilight weeps. "Trixie… I love you!" She holds on to Trixie's hoof.

"L-loved," Trixie corrects, smiler growing weaker. "Loved her,"

"No! I-" Twilight stops talking as she gathers herself. "Trixie, I will be getting you help, whether you want it or not. We will get through this, ok?" Her voice sounds firm.

Trixie's eyes widen in fear. "B-but… the-" A cough rattles her body. "I don't… feel too… good…"

"The spell is finished," Celestia says somberly. "All we can do is wait,"

"Wait - the spell Cadence used!" Twilight feels hope soar through her body. "If I can get that, I-"

"No," Celestia says firmly, shutting down Twililght's magic.

"Wha-"

"I said no,"

"Why?"

"There's a 50% chance you'll both die,"

"I…" Twilight sighs. "Ok… but only if Trixie has better chances as-is,"

"She does,"

"Ok," Twilight finally breaks down now that everything was set. "Why?" Trixie's unconscious form does not respond to the whisper. "Was I not good enough?"

James and Hans stumble into the doorway. "Hey, wha… ah," James shrugs. "Well, I'm gonna go report this to the others, then grab a drink. Beer of course. I don't dri-"

"FUCK YOU!" Twilight feels the rage take over as she slams him against the wall. The stallion stumbles, surprised, but soon enough has a helmet and knife ready.

"Ya wanna dance? I bet $50," He sounds ready to fight. "On me,"

"FUCK YOU!" Twilight tries to slam him again, but feels a ring around her horn. "Wha-"

James tackles Twilight. As skilled as she is in magic, her physical fighting leaves much desired. James slits her wrists with two quick flicks as he places another ring on Celestia's horn. "Whew, that wa-"

Hans crashes into him and the two wrestle for control of the knife. Hans misses an uppercut as he dodges a thrust. A gleaming knife blade is grabbed from above as the two continue their deadly dance.

Soon enough, Hans gets a hold of James's helmet and smashes it inwards. As James stumbles, Hans slams his head into the wall, rendering him unconscious. Celestia continues watching in awe. "I…" she starts.

"No problem," Hans says. He sighs. "Now I need a drink," He leaves for the bedroom he came from.

"C-celestia?" Twilight asks, worried and pained. "Why did he do that?"

"You slammed him inno e all" Celestia says, voice muffled as she takes Twililght's ring off. Twilight returns the gesture with magic. "Even so, he attacked royalty…"

Luna, Cadence, and Shining run in. "Wha- oh my," Cadence moves to Trixie's side. Confirming she was alive, she moved to James. Rather than checking for life, she eyes him with disgust, prodding him.

James opens his eyes. "Oi, what the fuck?!" Springing up, he slams into Cadence as he gets intercepted by Shining, ending up squished between the two. He ducks, causing them to hit each other, and flicks up his backup knife. "Let's go, bi-" He suddenly feels restrained, unable to move.. "Really? You have to win a 4v1 with magic?"

"I charge you with assaulting Royalty!" Celestia declares.

"Fuck you!" The response stuns the room. "I was in self defense, and I merely incapacitated my targets!" He glares at Twilight. "Unlike someone,"

"Yes, but you attacked Roy-"

"What is this, Earth?!" he spits. "No! Twilight was going to kill me!"

"Now, Twilight wo-"

James shuts her up with a glare. "That was the gaze of a murderer. Now, I'm willing to drop charges if you let me go,"

"What cha-"

James points to his helmet camera as he pops out a tape. "Video proof. I'll keep it, thank you," The tape lands in his pocket.

Celestia sighs as she releases her hold. "Thank you! God!" He groans. "That was pretty fucked up, ya know that?!"

"You wanted to celebrate her marefriend potentia-" Celestia remembers who she's talking to "l death…"

"Potential, ya fuckin' idiot! God, I'm sorry I forgot if my culture doesn't transfer here!" He starts to leave the room. "I'm goin' back to Hans, I wanna get drunk now,"

Hans and Rarity were found in a… compromising position, and James traded his shoulder camera tape to get some more beer. He came back to another... compromising position between three mares, and although he forgot his boot camera, he at least got to participate.

Fuck, he wanted a beer.

Author's Note

*Confusion noises*

Feels a bit meh too me. Wadda y'all think?