How to Break and Enter

It isn’t often a pair of stallions can take on the one and only Rainbow Dash, especially when she’s sober, but tonight she’s met her matches. In her defense, though, they are trained guards in Twilight’s Castle Guard, on patrol for bad guys trying to sneak in and harm Twilight. Normally this might earn them some grudging respect, but their blatant intimidation—and the heavy manacle around her neck—are inexcusable, not to mention insulting and demeaning.

Now, Rainbow Dash, the Bearer of one of the Elements of Harmony, a lead Wonderbolt, and a Celestiadamned Equestrian Knight finds herself waiting in the castle’s entry hall, leashed like a violent animal between those same two guards, tapping her hoof and growing less and less patient. This is so stupid. She could have handled things and gone home by now.

“You meatheads are in for it this time. When Twilight gets here she’s going to tear you each a new asshole.” She glares up at the one holding her manacle, an Earth Pony stallion who is pretending to ignore her. “And that’s not even getting to what I’m going to do the moment this thing’s off my neck. Hey! Are you even listening?”

No response.

“Fuck you,” she spits at Meathead #1. She’ll show them a violent animal.

“Rainbow Dash?” a voice calls out.

Finally! Dash perks up, trying to look less pathetic.

The sound of galloping on the marble floor precedes Twilight. She rushes through an open door and into the hall, with a pair of guards keeping pace behind her. She’s wearing a flimsy green nightgown and it looks like she’s just gotten out of bed. She skids to a stop in front of Dash, panting and sweating—amazing Princess body or otherwise, Twilight really needs to work on her cardio—and cries, “What is going on?”

Dash and Meathead #1 start talking over each other.

“Your Highness—”

“Twilight! This piece of shit—”

“—the suspect—”

“That’s Sir Rainbow Dash, thank you!”

“—was caught attempting to break in—”

“Sneaking in, you meathead!”

“—to the second floor hall—”

“I was looking for your bedroom—”

“—and was apprehended.”

“Well, not your bedroom, necessarily. I mean, I’m no pervert, obviously.”

Twilight and her two guards look at her.

“What? I have a perfectly good reason for being here,” Dash insists, puffing her chest in defiance.

“Which is?” Twilight pants.

“Uhh . . . ” Dash balks.

When Dash isn’t immediately forthcoming, Twilight focuses on Meathead #1 instead. She stomps forward, putting her face in his, and says, “Guard. You managed to arrest the Bearer of one of the Elements of Harmony, a lead Wonderbolt, an Equestrian Knight, and one of my best friends at the same time?”

“Yes, Your Highness,” Meathead #1 says, looking faintly proud of himself.

The other meathead, the Pegasus guard who brought down Rainbow Dash, says, “Your Highness, it could just as easily have been an assassin.”

“An assassin?” Twilight gawps at Meathead #2. “You’re telling me you two can’t even tell the difference between one of the most decorated ponies in Equestria and a thug? How difficult is your job? Rainbow Dash can’t be an assassin!”

“I could totally be an assassin,” Dash says without thinking, then, “I mean, I’m not, but like I totally could be.”

“Your Highness,” he says, standing proud under the weight of his Princess’s anger, “the suspect was caught attempting to break and enter at one in the morning.”

“But—”

“While trying to evade detection.”

Evading detection sounds so much lamer than sneaking in. So much less fun. Of course a pony could get in trouble for that.

“Break and—” Twilight plants her hoof in her face and her face in her hoof. “Da-a-ash,” she groans after a few seconds. “I have a front door!”

“Uh, yeah, I thought about that, but there were these other guards watching the door, and, uh—” Dash pauses, eyeing the pair of guards Twilight brought with her, then the guards holding her captive, and then finally the guards at the front door behind her. “How many guards do you have?”

Twilight peeks out from behind her hoof and gives a sympathetic smile. “Too many.” She looks at Meathead #2, the one holding the chain connected to the manacle around Dash’s neck, and says, “Release her.”

“Yes, Your Highness.”

Meathead #2 extracts a small key from his armor and quickly removes the metal collar. The moment the weight is removed Dash leaps into the air and groans. “Finally. That thing hurts!” she snarls, pointing a hoof at him.

No response.

“Hey! Look at me when I—”

Twilight holds up a hoof in Dash’s direction, urging her to be quiet, and says to her guards, “Dismissed.”

The two Pegasi turn to resume their shift outside, while Twilight’s other guards head back into the castle. Dash lands beside Twilight and tries to settle.

“Tch. You’re too nice to them,” Dash says, watching their extremely fit hindquarters leave. Personalities aside, Twilight has outstanding taste in guards.

“You just have to speak their language,” Twilight mutters, watching them too.

Being a Princess definitely agrees with Twilight. Librarian Twilight would’ve insisted on hiring noble, decent, articulate guards, probably for helping with homework rather than doing actual work. Princess Twilight seems content with physically attractive meatheads. If Rainbow didn’t know Twilight better, she’d swear up and down that Twilight was fucking one of them.

Dash gulps. There’s an image. Twilight—kind, friendly, nerdy Twilight—taking advantage of one of her guards? Dominating one of them? She can’t really picture it, but oh, yeah, she can really picture it.

Twilight sighs then turns back to Rainbow. “They’ve been here long enough that Celestia’s mother!” she screeches. “What happened to you? Did they hurt you?”

“Huh?”

Twilight is gawking at her. Dash looks down at her chest, then each of her forelegs. “Oh, right.” Twilight is probably talking about the scrapes and bruises, the dirt and blood. Is she only just noticing? “I took a two story tumble.” When that doesn’t seem to explain things she continues, “Well I didn’t just come nicely.” She punches the air then strikes a pose. “I gave better than I got, I can promise you that. If they hadn’t been wearing all that armor—”

“Are you okay?” Twilight asks. “Any broken bones, or—”

“It’s fine,” she says, waving a hoof. “I can tell you from personal experience that two stallions aren’t a match for Rainbow Dash.” She waggles her eyebrows, hoping Twilight gets the hint.

Twilight shakes her head. “Pegasi really can take a beating, huh?”

Dash shrugs. “I fall out of the sky for a living.”

“ . . . Let’s get you cleaned up.”

“Ow,” Dash grunts. She’s lying on her side in Twilight’s ensuite bathroom, under Twilight’s harsh scrutiny, being subjected to all sorts of physical tortures. “Ow.”

“Quit being such a baby,” Twilight mutters, concentrating. Her horn glowing, she focuses on Dash’s next scrape, a long red line down her shoulder, and pours a level measured spoon of some sand-like powder onto the wound. It burns and stings, especially as Twilight prods the little pile with a stick to spread it around.

“Does it hurt much?” Twilight asks. She shifts around, leaning on Dash to get a better view, and measures another spoonful.

Dash grunts. “No, of course noOOOH! Damn it, Twilight!”

“Shush,” Twilight soothes, poking at the burning sand. Dash can actually hear it crackle and sizzle as it works. “Stay still.”

“You’re enjoying this!” Dash says.

“Shush.” Twilight might claim she’s all business, but Dash still catches a teasing smile breaking through her poker face. It reminds her of after her first aborted flights, when her parents had to carry her back home and clean her up so she could try again. Her mom and dad would tease her then, too.

Dash huffs, winces through a surprisingly painful singe, and watches Twilight work. The nightgown she’s wearing says she should be tired, ready for bed, or relaxing after a long day of whatever Princesses do, but the focus on her face and the precision of her magic say she’s wide awake, and the contrast is interesting. Like a mare wearing a wedding gown to a greasy factory job. Actually . . . She glances to make sure Twilight isn’t watching, then slides her gaze down Her Royal Highness’s body. Twilight’s nightgown is—well, it’s sexy. The fabric is see-through, slightly, and outlines her body with silhouettes and shadows. Since when does Twilight wear sexy clothes? Is this a Princess thing? What else does she own?

“Well? How do I look?”

Dash jerks back, looks up. “Huh?”

Twilight glances up from Dash’s shoulder. “I said, how does it look?” She points at Dash’s ex-injuries.

Dash stands and looks at her forelegs. Except for some flecks of sand—“Not bad.”

“Thanks. And, next time you get in trouble with my guards—don’t. I don’t want you getting hurt.”

“It’s fine, mom,” Dash teases.

“I’ve met your mom. She’s a wonderful mare. You should visit her more often.”

Twilight takes a cool damp cloth and wipes the rest of the sand away, humming absently. Then she tosses the cloth into the bathroom, drops her sexy nightgown in the hamper, and leads Dash back into her bedroom.

Dash expects Twilight to start that boring smalltalk that leads to saying goodbye, but instead Twilight merely sits on her bed and stares at Dash. Dash can practically hear the frantic questions that have to be bouncing in Twilight’s head. The accusations. Psh. Whatever. Dash isn’t ashamed of what she did. Breaking in—sneaking in!—is totally par for the course with Rainbow Dash. It’s not like anypony got hurt. And besides. Twilight won’t mind. She’s cool.

Normally. It is late. Maybe she woke Twilight up? Not likely. Twilight’s a night owl, just like Dash. And she did say she wasn’t asleep.

Right?

She looks at Twilight. Twilight’s still just staring at her. The accusatory voice in Dash’s head grows louder. She gulps. Okay. So maybe she screwed up a little. It wouldn’t be the first time. Dash will just do something nice and make it up to her, like always.

Right?

“Okay, Twilight—”

Twilight purses her lips.

“Look. I’m sorry, Twilight. I can explain—”

“Damnit, Rainbow Dash!” Twilight growls.

Uh-oh.

“As a Princess, I cannot let you go around breaking and entering. You’re one of my best friends but this has gone too far. You’re a public figure! Your image matters! Dash, I’m—” she gulps, her lip quivering. “—I’m going to have to—”

It occurs to Dash that if she were to push things too far, it would probably be without noticing, like now.

Twilight grimaces and looks away and sputters, “ . . . d—dungeon—”

She snorts, and the two of them burst out laughing. Relief floods Dash and she wonders why she was even worried. Librarian Twilight may once have insisted on sticking to the rules out of some misplaced obligation. Princess Twilight is cool.

“I’m sorry they treated you that way. They’re just doing their job.”

“Yeah, well. They could be a little nicer.”

Twilight sighs, flops back onto her bed. “Yes. I keep telling them that. But still. You knew I have guards.”

“I guess.”

“And you’re smart enough to figure they’d be more alert and defensive at night than during the day.”

Dash bounces her head side to side, a gesture of concession. “Yeah . . . I guess.”

Twilight scooches up her bed until she can sit back against her many pillows. “I’ll talk to my Guard-captain tomorrow. But you shouldn’t try breaking in again.”

“Yeah, I know.”

Twilight taps the bed beside her.

Dash hops on the bed and crawls up beside her, sitting with a gap between them.

Twilight smiles. “So? Are you going to tell me why you decided to invade my sovereign airspace? Why you felt you had to hide from my guards? Why you were breaking and entering?”

“Sneaking in—”

“Dash.”

“I don’t wanna talk about it.”

Twilight cocks an eyebrow. “You mean you weren’t here just to see me?” she asks with a sly grin. She slides over, closing the rest of the gap, and leans against Dash. “I can assure you my guards are discreet when it comes to my nighttime visitors. So long as they use the front door, of course.”

“Well—”

And this is another change. Unicorn Twilight wouldn’t think of flirting, even as a joke, and she’d melt of embarrassment if she tried. Alicorn Twilight doesn’t even notice.

“—I mean, I thought you’d be asleep. Oh. I didn’t wake you up, did I?”

Twilight waves a hoof to the side, dismissing the thought. “You didn’t wake me up.”

“It’s after midnight!”

Twilight turns to face her and levels a stare. “Yes. It is. Which brings me back to why you were sneaking in. After midnight. Trying to avoid my Castle Guard.”

“It’s just—”

“When you thought I’d be asleep.” Twilight’s stare is unwavering. Intimidating.

Dash gulps. “Well . . . ”

“Dash, if this is some sort of prank, I swear—”

“It’s not!” Dash exclaims.

“But you won’t tell me what it is.”

Dash opens her mouth, but can’t quite find the words to explain without accusing Twilight of being a really horrible pony, and so closes it again.

Twilight’s scowl loses some of its edge. She leans forward and touches Dash’s forehoof. Asks, “Dash, is everything alright?”

Dash looks at her hoof, gulps, but doesn’t pull back. This isn’t like her. Rainbow Dash doesn’t let anypony or anything get the better of her. “Ha ha, of course. Why wouldn’t I be?” she stammers.

Celestia, what’s wrong with her today?

“Well, for one thing—”

“Oh! How’s, uh, how’s your stallion—what’s his name? Spring something?”

If Twilight’s annoyed by the interruption, she doesn’t show it. Instead she leans back, flops into her pillows, and sighs. “Spirit. He’s well.”

“That’s—that’s great. He sounds really . . . great.” She casts about for more distraction. “Are you dating?”

Twilight shrugs. “It’s nothing serious.”

“Is he hot?”

Twilight smiles. “Well, he’s a very fit Pegasus, so . . . yes.”

“I noticed your guards are all very fit, too,” Dash says.

“Would you like me to introduce you to one of them? Or maybe one of the mares? They’re very fit as well.”

“What? No!” Dash exclaims. She does not need dating help from Twilight Sparkle. Even if her guards are hot.

“Are you sure? You’re well known down there, and I’m sure some of them must be quite pleasant to be around, when they’re not in uniform.”

“Yeah, right.”

Twilight props herself up and frowns. “Dash, I know those two were a little rough, but they were doing their job. Quite well, in fact. They managed to catch you.”

“So?”

“So—why are you so mad at my guards?” Twilight asks. “Did they do something to you?”

“Besides that stupid collar? No.”

“Did they hurt somepony?”

“No . . . ”

“Then—”

“Argh, they’ve been spreading rumors about you!”

Twilight pauses, and her eyes narrow. “What rumors?”

“They called you a whore!” Dash blurts out, then gasps and clamps a hoof over her mouth.

Twilight cocks an eyebrow. “Really.”

Dash nods. “They were saying all sorts of awful, sexual things about you.”

“Sexual things.”

Dash gulps, sure that now she’s gone too far.

Twilight exhales with a smile. “Well, that’s a relief. At least it’s nothing bad. Like, Twilight’s planning to overthrow Cloudsdale’s leadership. Which I totally am not planning to do. Or, the Princess has sent agents to Cloudsdale to gather class-one material on the Ambassadors. Which I totally have not done, by the way.” Twilight looks away and chuckles nervously. “Was that it?”

“Was that it?” Dash stares at her. “Okay, who are you, and what did you do with the real Twilight?”

Twilight rolls her eyes. “Do you want to hear about some of the other rumors I’ve heard?”

“Not really—”

Twilight holds up a hoof and starts reciting.

“Apparently, I give great head. I fucked the entire Cloudsdale delegation. I’m a whore—oh, you already heard that one.” She faces Dash. “I like it rough. I’m a free use slut, and I don’t say no. My guards mount me in the hall when I walk past.” Twilight shifts closer, and says with big eyes, “I let my brother and his wife molest me. I want to fuck my best friends. I’ll do anything for a perfect grade—actually, that one was back during school, when I was much, much younger and some of the teachers were known for trading grades for sex and for having a thing for young fillies. I’ve been sleeping with full-grown adults ever since I was a very young filly,” she says, breathing a little heavily, her face close to Dash’s. “According to rumors, of course.”

Dash gulps, and whispers, “You have? I mean—they say all that?”

Twilight nods seriously. “Oh, yes. The librarian, whenever I needed into the restricted section back at school. The nice old mare who fitted me for my regalia before my graduation, because she needed updated measurements, and the disgusting old stallion before he would sign my diploma, because there was some clerical error—I hate clerical errors. Um . . . Rarity. A fair few of the Apples at one of their family gatherings, up against the back of the barn for an hour or so, where anypony could have seen. One of the standard bearers, after my coronation. My guards, of course. A bunch of others I’m probably forgetting. Rarity again, I guess. Oh! And some of Sodapop’s staff swear up and down that I suck his cock in the back of his parlor to clear my tab, after he brings me drinks I don’t ask for to fill my tab, and that sometimes he even brings in his friends to help collect—”

“Twilight!” Dash exclaims.

Twilight blinks and sits back, tapping her hooves together. Apparently she’s only just realizing just how horrible some of this sounds, because she stammers, “N—nopony would ever believe any of that, right? And, besides, there are plenty of ponies who say nice things about me, too.”

Twilight looks away, rubbing the back of her neck.

Dash isn’t sure she’s even heard Twilight say the phrase “free use slut” before. Certainly never with such casual, disinterested ease. Does she even know what that means? Has Twilight even had sex yet?

Was she the kind of student who’d sleep with a teacher for a good grade?

Dash gulps, forcing back images of Princess Celestia spanking a yelping, blushing filly Twilight with a wooden ruler across what was probably a chubby little bottom, and stammers, “They—they weren’t just bragging. They were bragging loudly, in the middle of town, where anypony could have heard them. Literally today. They mentioned you by name. And they said—”

Fine. Just fine.

“They acted like they’d just both fucked you. Like a whore.” Dash sets her face as the same anger from before bubbles up—along with smug righteousness. I told you so. “They were so fucking rude. And ponies don’t get to say shit like that about my friends. No matter how you feel about it.”

A smile spreads across Twilight’s face. “Oh, Dash. Is that why you got into trouble with the guards? Were you trying to defend my honor? Were you trying to get caught?”

Dash exhales. Twilight’s smiling? “Well—yeah.”

“Well, don’t. I’m a big filly. I run my own kingdom and everything. And I don’t want you getting hurt on my account. It’s not sweet or heroic. It’s reckless. Next time you hear or see something about my guards that concerns you, just come and tell me. Okay? I can handle it. There’s no need to sneak around and get hurt.”

Dash can handle it, too. More than handle it. “You don’t get it, Twilight. How would—” She casts about for the right words. “How would you feel if somepony were saying those things about our friends—like Fluttershy, or Rarity? Or, I dunno—Princess Celestia?”

Twilight shakes her head. “No, I do get it. I’d probably be upset too. But Fluttershy isn’t a princess. And Rarity does get those rumors. She doesn’t pay them any mind. I know for a fact she starts her own rumors. And as for Celestia . . . ” Twilight tilts her head and gives a weak smile. “She’s really old. She’s probably done all those things already.” She puts a hoof on Dash’s shoulder. “And if one of them asked me to drop it, I would. If I was worried about you, for whatever reason, and you told me to drop it, I would.”

“Really?”

Twilight tilts her head, hmming. “Well, maybe not right away.” She smiles, looking into Dash’s eyes, then leans close and hugs Dash. “Thanks for caring about me. I mean it. Don’t take this the wrong way, but I think you’d make a fine Castle Guard.”

“Twilight! You’re being way too cool with this. They’re your guards. Do something!”

Twilight scowls and lets go. “It’s just sex. Even I’ve had sex, Dash. Same as anypony else.”

“It’s not just sex. It’s—” It’s filthy, depraved sex. It’s two-stallions-using-her-like-a-cumrag sex. It’s fucking-Twilight-in-public sex. It’s calling-her-names sex. It’s—

“It’s what?”

Dash sets her face. “You won’t do anything about it? Fine. I’ll go find those punks and teach them a lesson myself.” She slides off the bed and storms off for the door. “Get some more of that sand ready.”

“Dash!” Twilight says. “What are you doing? Where are you going?”

Dash growls, “I told you. I’m gonna shut them up for you. You want me to care about my public image? Well, I care about yours. Where do they sleep?”

“Please, just drop it, Dash!”

“No! You are too nice, too smart—”

“Rainbow Dash, I swear to Celestia—”

“—and too good to let them—”

The Royal Voice bowls her over:

“Alright!”

Dash stumbles, stunned. Slowly turns to face Twilight.

Twilight glares at her, standing on her bed, wings flared and hackles raised. Panting. Large, imposing silhouette. Angry Princess, surrounded by swirling sheets and pillows and cushions. Twilight opens her mouth to yell again—then slumps and looks at the floor for a few moments. “Okay. Fine. I get it. You’re right.”

Her little fluffy hurricane falls from the air.

She slides onto the floor and walks up to Dash, without looking her in the eyes. “You’re right,” she says again. “I’m too nice and smart and good to be their whore. And everyone would be so disappointed if I were.”

“Well . . . yeah.”

“It’s okay. I’ll . . . I’ll go talk to my Guard-captain. Right now, if that’ll make you happy. Stay put.”

Twilight leaves her room without a backwards glance, ears flat, practically dragging her hooves.

Silence settles around Dash. It’s late, and likely the only other ponies awake at this time are either standing very still, pretending to be statues, or flying around the castle, watching for ponies like Rainbow Dash who are up to no good.

Dash taps her hoof, wondering how long Twilight will be. Twilight left the door open. Anypony wandering through the hall will see Dash in Twilight’s room, standing alone in the Princess’s bedroom, in the middle of the night. Waiting awkwardly.

She climbs back up onto the bed and sighs. Why is she doing this? Sneaking into the palace because she doesn’t want to confront a few stupid guards? Getting into an argument with Twilight, because she’s uncomfortable being direct? She’s definitely hurt Twilight’s feelings, somehow. This is stupid. Dash ought to have grabbed one of those meatheads then and there and punched him. So what if they had outnumbered her? So what if she’d been surrounded by witnesses? She’s Rainbow Fucking Dash. Nopony says that about her friends.

Even if it were true, which it most certainly is not. Twilight doesn’t fuck her guards. She doesn’t casually blow somepony to get out of paying a couple bits. And she certainly doesn’t let her brother and sister-in-law fuck her. It’s outrageous. It’s obscene. It’s—

Dash exhales. It’s also really, really spicy. Shining Armor and Cadance are fine specimens. Dash wouldn’t be too upset if they wanted to molest her a little.

Motion in the doorway. Twilight is in her antechamber, outlined by the candle light from the hallway. For a second she just stands there, staring at Rainbow. For a Princess who’s quickly outgrowing her friends, she looks so tiny.

“Uh, Twilight? What’s wrong?”

Twilight slumps, then steps inside. Shuts the door behind her. “Oh, nothing’s wrong. I went and talked to my Guard-captain. Mantle’s a good pony. She’ll deal with this.” Twilight walks up to Dash and puts on a fake smile. “Alright?”

“Sure, I guess.” Dash isn’t exactly convinced that some Captain will be able to quash those nasty rumors, but maybe the worst offenders will get disciplined. “Yeah.”

She crawls up onto her bed and sits beside Dash. “Good. Now, please stop worrying about what ponies call me behind my back. It’s never bothered me before.”

Rainbow shakes her head. Maybe she hasn’t done a good job of explaining to Twilight just what these ponies were saying about her. It’s not just the words. If she really understood she’d be dismissing her entire company.

But what else can Dash do? She can’t well go around town yelling that Twilight isn’t a whore. She can’t remember which two guards they were. And Twilight will not appreciate Dash going around getting into fights, not after Twilight already conceded.

Dash doesn’t particularly enjoy feeling helpless.

Twilight looks over her shoulder at her door, deep in thought. Then she slaps her hoof into her other hoof and exclaims, “Oh, right! Dash. I was going to come find you tomorrow, but since you’re here, I want to ask a favor of you. You can decline, but you mustn’t tell anypony. It’s a secret for now.”

Dash shrugs. “Of course.”

“Have you seen the construction project Ponyville has just started, out past the Gorge?”

Dash perks up. She has. Outside of Ponyville, between the Gorge and the Everfree, a large plot of land has been cleared and flattened. Whenever she flies over she sees a dozen ponies carrying in construction supplies. It’s all very organized and busy. But she has no idea what they’re building. Nopony does—at least, nopony will admit to knowing anything about it. Except for Twilight, apparently.

“That’s you?”

Twilight nods. “Well, it’s Ponyville, technically.”

“So? What are you building?”

“Promise you won’t tell?” Twilight grins, and it looks a little menacing. “It’s a new Weather Factory.”

“No way!” Dash shouts, jumping into the air. “No fucking way!”

This night just keeps getting more and more unreal.

Twilight nods. “I’m tired of being pushed around, and I think Princess Celestia is expecting something like this from me. Something to show I’m taking my Princesshood seriously. Now, it’s small. We can’t afford anything nearly as big or powerful as Cloudsdale’s Rainbow Factory. But it’ll be enough to generate a seventy-thirty split over nearly four hundred square kilometers.”

But—that means every community within about eleven kilometers will be able to work with Ponyville instead of Cloudsdale! A dozen towns, hamlets, and villages could be free to run their own weather. Oh, wow. This is huge. Dash loves her home, but everypony knows its leadership is corrupt. And seventy-thirty is more than enough to save Applejack’s farm. This is huge!

“Twilight!” Dash exclaims, zooming up and getting right in Twilight’s face. “This is huge!”

“Yes, I know—”

“You won’t have to work with Cloudsdale anymore!”

“Dash—”

Dash grabs Twilight. “You need to get your guards out there. Cloudsdale could have spies or something. They cannot find out about this!”

“Dash!” Twilight laughs. “Yes, I know. I know! Calm down.” She pushes Dash back a bit. “It’s going to make a lot of ponies really happy, but there’s a lot of work ahead of us, and there aren’t many ponies in Ponyville with the skills needed to run the factory. Which brings me to the favor. The weather factory is small enough that it doesn’t need a whole city to support it, but it’ll still need Cloud sculptors to run it—as well as a lead.”

Dash gasps and plants her butt. She knows what comes next, but she doesn’t dare jinx it, and tries not to vibrate too hard in case even moving interrupts what’s about to happen. Tries to be cool.

“Dash, I know being a Wonderbolt keeps you busy—”

Fuck me!

“—but will you be willing—”

“Yes! Absolutely!” she blurts out, lunging for Twilight and grabbing her shoulders, watching her life change before her eyes. It’s not about being a Cloud Sculptor; nopony cares about Cloud Sculptors. But if Dash were to eventually become the newest Weather Marshal, she’d have to start as a lead.

Ponies have called Dash a hero before, but Weather Marshals are actual heroes.

“Yes I will!”

“Settle down. Just, hold on,” Twilight chuckles, then bites her lips. Grabs Dash’s forehooves and removes them from her shoulders. Looks away. “Look. There’s a young mare from Cloudsdale here—”

She’s interrupted by her bedroom doors opening.

Dash glances over her shoulder. A stallion appears, silhouetted from behind. Dash can’t quite make out the details—it’s quite dark—but from the bulk around his head and chest, it looks like it’s one of them. Twilight’s Castle Guards. And he doesn’t even knock. Tch.

Twilight inhales. Before Dash can yell at him Twilight touches her chin and turns her so they’re face to face. Puts on a sympathetic smile, but holds her chin so that Dash can’t look away. “Actually, before that, I have another favor. One you cannot say no to.”

Her horn ignites. Without breaking eye contact, she sizzles her magic over the surface of her nightstand, searching for something. She levitates over a silk green choker and clips it around her neck. Dash thinks she hears Twilight whimper.

“Uh, Twilight, don’t you lock your bedroom doors?” Dash asks, leaning back and eyeing the choker warily.

“Dash, whatever happens next, please just sit still and—”

“Your Highness,” the guard sings, damned near strutting into Twilight’s bedroom.

“Hey! Asshole!” Dash turns toward the guard. “Can’t you knock? We’re busy!”

“Dash!” Twilight hisses. “I’ll explain later. Just promise me you’ll behave. It’s important. No matter what!”

“But—”

Twilight pulls Dash back. She reaches for Dash’s forehooves and holds them tight, leans close. Eyes wide. Lips pressed shut. Ears flat. Damned near vibrating. Desperate. Vulnerable. Dash’s heart races. Something is wrong. She oughta say no, and put a stop to this. She oughta take Twilight somewhere safe. She oughta kick the guard out of the bedroom and ask Twilight what’s really going on. But Twilight is pleading with her. Asking for her help. How many times has Twilight helped Dash, no matter how outrageous the request?

“Dash, please do this for me.”

She can’t say no to Twilight. “I guess . . . ”

“Dash! Promise me!”

“I promise!” Dash relents, pulling back and crossing her forelegs. “I’ll behave, or whatever. But I don’t like it,” she mutters, totally not pouting.

“Thank you for trusting me, Rainbow,” Twilight whispers. She leans forward and kisses her. More than a peck, definitely a kiss, right on her lips, and enough to completely derail her.

Damn, she thinks, as her lips tingle.

Then, while Dash stares at the air where Twilight’s head was, the door to their room shuts and sizzles, leaving the three of them alone.