Luna keeps me wrapped up in her hooves, squeezing a little too tightly. I’m surprised at such a reaction out of her but I’m not complaining. Looking over to see Fluttershy’s reaction, she’s completely taken off guard, rushing to the kitchen in a panic.

Luna pulls away to admire me, “Oh we are so glad to see you Joey! We had the worst thoughts about what might have happened but we are glad to see thou all in one piece”

“Um... yea I’m fine, just a little shaken up” I give a weak smile.

“We would like to apologize...” She frowns with tears beginning to brim in her eyes, “We are... I am truly sorry for having left you so quickly. If I had made sure thou made it back safely, we could have prevented this. We- I am truly sorry and am ashamed to call myself your friend” looking down to the floor with a single tear flowing down her cheek.

Uncomfortable with seeing my friend so hurt I move forward to hug her once more. “Don’t say that nonsense, how the hell was either of us supposed to know...” I stroke her mane while she collects herself.

Fluttershy peaks around the corner with another glass of hot chocolate but senses the mood in the room isn’t exactly right to intervene, settling for hiding in the kitchen.

We pull away again, the Lunar princess carries a feint blush. “If thou ever needs to talk, we are always available and we have made a present for you to make this possible. I shall give to you this magic parchment that will allow to send letters without using one’s own magic. Make use of this, it’s the least we can do for thou” her horn lights up at this, creating the parchment from thin air.

I catch it pulling the ends apart to look over its condition. Unlike something you would see in a history museum or with ancient writing, the paper is new and well crafted, wrapping around two rollers at either end of the parchment.

“That’s a thing? How come Twilight never gave me one of these?”

Luna smiles a little still emotional over our greeting, “Tis not that simple, we had to place an elaborate seal in order to allow use without one’s magic. It’s no small feat for even the most skilled unicorns. Simply write with ink whatever thou wishes then address it with the name of the receiver. Once this is completed, roll the parchment back together and it shall send a letter for you”

Standing there in disbelief, I quickly look around for something to write with. Luna noticed my struggle and creates a ink covered quill to existence. “Thank you. You must be some sort of wizard when it comes to this stuff”

“Years of experience and determination make up the pony you see before you, ‘twas no easy feat to become this skilled” She stunts, boosted by my words.

Smiling at her reaction I turn my attention back to the letter, writing upon the paper with a few words before addressing it and closing the device. After a second or two, a loud poof sound can be heard within the kitchen followed by the sounds of a pony falling. Luna looks to me with confusion, I point back to the direction of the noise. From the kitchen comes Shy, a letter resting in her mouth and a mug of hot chocolate on a plate balances on her back.

“Thou sent a message to Miss Shy?” I nod yes taking the letter from Shy and opening it to Luna.

‘Shy you can come in here now’

The words were exactly the way I had originally written them, almost like scanning a paper for reprint.

“This is really impressive Luna, that’s the second time now you’ve done something for me that’s practical, my math teachers would be jealous”

She sways her hoof, “Think nothing of it, we only wish to apologize for our negligence”

“No you didn’t do anything wrong... really. If I wasn’t useless against magic I could have stopped things from happening”

Luna raises her brow at what I had to say, “You say magic? Does thou remember much of the attacker beside their race? For we shall strike down punishment fit for such vile behavior on my friend, banishment to Tartarus or perhaps... the moon” with each word she begins to get angrier. “We wish create justice with our own hooves for thou!”

A frown makes its way across my face, “I don’t uh... really remember much besides that it was a unicorn mare and she was related to some moron a beat down in public”

“Does thou remember the name of such moron?” I shake my head no.

“I could probably identify him if I saw him again but, since that day I haven’t seen him”

Luna’s desperate need for justice gets the best of her, “Surely there is something more you could tell us? Think back to what happened”

I let my mind slip just a little back to that night, the feeling of her magic restraining, the disgusting way she spoke to me, her warm-. Cutting my thoughts off I come back to realize I’m panicking. Hyperventilating I have to lay down with the help of Luna to prevent myself from passing out.

“I c-can’t... that’s too fucking much” my voice cracks.

Realizing her mistake now, she wraps me in her wing. Shy moves over to me as well giving me a hoof to squeeze. It takes a few minutes of controlling my breathing before I feel okay enough to let go of Shy’s hoof. Embarrassed I look away from the two of them, fiddling with my hands awkwardly.

“We are sorry, I overstepped” Luna says placing a hoof to her chest. “It is only right for thou to feel discomfort toward me for such behavior therefore we shall take our leave”

She goes to sit up but is pulled back by my hand grasping at her hoof. She looks back to me ashamed, “Don’t! I mean... please stay I... I enjoy being with you” my face becomes even redder at my display of desperation. “It’s calming”

Luna’s face starts to match mine, sitting back down beside me with her wing around me again. Shy rubs my back on my other side, smiling brightly at my actions.

“See? It’s okay to ask for help from friends” I feel like a child but am too busy being smothered by these two to care. Instead I lean back into their loving hooves, closing my eyes.

I need their help, I can’t do this alone anymore. I’m too damn tired

“I’ve been thinking and uh... I really do need you two’s help... so I’ll try my best to ask instead of keeping shit to myself” Both the girls fur is incredibly soft against my skin, their wings also strangely supportive against my back like two arms. I could lay like this for hours.

Luna brushes her head against mine, “Does thou think it would be more comfortable to stay with us in the castle? We could guarantee your safety and provide royal benefits to help with recovery”

Her suggestion is tempting yet I didn’t want to be any closer to Celestia, her little interrogation she performed at my house along with her seeming to misunderstand how Luna feels has grown seeds of frustration with the monarch. Truthfully, I’d say I dislike her the more I see her. Maybe it’s because this whole incident with me could have been avoided if she did her job keeping ponies in check instead of worrying about the damage I could cause. Or maybe because she seems not to notice her sisters struggles to readjust after thousands of years on a fucking moon? Maybe I’m just tired and upset, looking for somepony to blame.

“That’s very tempting but I like it here” They both give me strange looks. “Don’t get me wrong, this town has its fair share of assholes but most my friends live here... and I’d like to pay them back in some way if I could”

Fluttershy is the first to react, hugging tightly against my side. “Oh your such a nice pony Joey, you shouldn’t be worrying about us okay? We’re not the ones being mistreated”

“Yea but your the ones putting up with me. Let’s be honest, I’m a lot of work”

Luna seems to be off in thought before coming to her senses, “We have a compromise. If thou wishes to stay here, you must be escorted by your own protection. It’s become clear that you are in danger the longer you stay in Ponyville”

“No, that’s too much. I barely go outside anyways and when I do it’s always with another pony. That shit that happened before was one of the few times I’ve been alone so count it as an anomaly”

She seems to be debating another option in her head before sighing loudly, “To think we let our friend be harmed on our own night... we are deeply sorry and only wish to repay thou in some way”

Her words sadden me, “It wasn’t your fault Luna, you have nothing to be sorry for. Just... keep being you and keep hanging out with me or something I don’t know. Your company is good enough for me, how’s that?”

“This feels insufficient, truly there must be something more we could do?”

I wrap her with my arm pulling her close, “I already said what I wanted Lulu, isn’t what I think is enough all that matters?”

She looks away still disgruntled, “We guess...”

“Well what would you like? I’m open to suggestion aside from some weirdo following me around all day or being locked in a castle”

“Thou wouldn’t be locked up! You could go where thou pleases within the castle grounds and if it were wished to go beyond the walls, we could accompany you”

I smile, “Sounds awfully selfish, you must want me all to yourself huh?”

Blushing she pulls back, “We do no- tis ridiculous to assume such assumption! We only wish for your safety!” she crosses her hooves with puffed cheeks.

I chuckle, it’s the first time I’ve laughed in two weeks. I turn back to Shy, “Take notes from Shy over here, she’s been waiting for a moment to cuddle me since the day she realized I wasn’t a threat and now she’s just taking it all in”

Shy blushes avoiding our looks, “eep! Maybe I did um... think about possibly... if it was okay with you of course, cuddling sometimes. It’s not like THAT or anything! Pinkie was just going on about how warm and soft you are and I couldn’t help but wonder”

She hides behind my back still wrapped around my torso. She’s a treat isn’t she? Meanwhile the supposedly not selfish Luna stares a hole into the back of my head while I look away.

“Well don’t worry you two, there’s plenty of Joey to go around. If it’s one thing I’m good for, it’s cuddling you adorable ponies”

Shy blushes at my words, Luna on the other hand leans forward til she’s a few inches away. “We are not adorable! We are cunning and practiced, prepared for any threat that dare faces our subjects”

I laugh again, “Subjects? Pftft, what is this medieval times?”

“Thou said they would not joke of our dialect” she pouts.

“And this subject finds his princess’s way of speaking cute” her eye twitches.

“You wish for no cuddles then?”

“Woa woa woa let’s settle down, there’s no need for that. I’m sorry now would you kindly continue to drown me in your love please”

Luna blushes while grumbling something under her breath, “We are glad to see thou is in much better mood then foretold”

“Must be because of you” I say while booping her nose, her muzzle scrunches up in response.

“What is it that thou just did?”

Shy surprisingly beats me to the punch, “That’s called a boop, Joey says he can’t help himself sometimes and has to ‘boop’ our noses. I think it’s some sort of human thing”

I nod my head in agreement, “Yep what she said”

Luna doesn’t seem to believe me, looking with suspicion. In order to avoid dangerously low cuddles, I reach behind her ear scratching her head. She goes to pull away only to stop at the feeling against her scalp, leaning into my hand the more I continue. Shy seems to feel left out so I move my other hand over to scratch her as well. Symbiosis is what they call it, all parties mutually benefitted at this exchange.

Stopping after a bit because of my hands getting tired both the girls snap to their senses looking disappointed with the vanished feeling. Instead of blushing and turning away like Shy, Luna takes my hand into her hoof observing it further.

“How is it that you preform such wonders with these... little things?”

“They’re called fingers and easy, I just do this” motioning over to scratch her once more. Luna pushes my hand to the side.

“No we are not falling for that again!”

“Your loss” I say leaning back into the couch.

Fluttershy’s fireplace crackles away at the timber within, it’s heat felt radiating from across the room. A sudden chill is brought by Shy getting up and taking care of our drinks, I shiver slightly at the loss of heat. Noticing this, the large pony still beside me flips over to lay me on her stomach, her wings wrapping the both of us like a blanket. Her wingspan being much larger than normal pegasus makes this very easy, the only part of my upper body appearing is from the neck up, although her length is not enough to cover below the waist.

I blush from the gesture, feeing like a child wrapped in his mother’s embrace. “Okay Luna this is quite a bit”

Moving her head down to speak directly into my ear, she sends chills down my spine with her proximity. “Is this not warm enough?”

I bit my lip, “It’s warm... I’d be lying if I said otherwise. But you know... your like one of the rulers of Equestria and you got me all wrapped up like I’m... something” I stop myself before saying special, not wanting her to worry.

Unfortunately the word something doesn’t really sound great either. “Thou IS something to us. Our friend, truly our only friend besides sister”

I turn to see if she’s being honest, her face is serious. “I thought you said I wasn’t your only friend? That I was something like your only friend outside the castle”

She smiles, “Tis true, our sister stays within castle grounds does she not?”

“That’s... really sad” Lunas smile fades some. “I didn’t mean it like that I just thought you being a ruler and all would mean you have friends in high places and shit you know?”

“It pleases me you thought that, we are still getting accustomed to the whole ‘making friends’ ordeal since our return. It hasn’t been as easy as thou would think” I shut up and listen, giving her a look to continue. “Most ponies feared us on our return and rightfully so. We are the embodiment of rebellion against our sister, lashing out in desire for recognition. A weed wrapping itself upon Equestria’s hearth, ruining its prestige. If we could only go back and stop what has happened, I would do anything to”

I want to hug her and let her know that what she says isn’t the case anymore but her wings restrict me. “Luna could you um... let me go some?”

“Sorry, we failed to notice how tightly we were holding you” She giggles.

Moving around now with her loosened grip, I turn over to bury my face into her while giving her my best hug. “It’s great that your back now. I couldn’t have possibly gone through what you went though without snapping”

“Oh we did ‘snap’, right after our return. It took the elements to reduce me from my nightmare form into what you embrace now”

I rub my face against her fur, “They reduced you pretty goooood. I mean your fur is tremendous”

My childish behavior draws a giggle from her. “I am glad to see thou is enjoying themselves” I nod in agreement.

Shy strolls back from washing up the dishes to be shocked at the sight before her, the royal matriarch seeming to hide both our faces with her wings. Shy does her classic embarrassed ‘eep’ assuming the most inappropriate of scenarios to what she sees.

Luna lowers her wings at this revealing me pushing away from her chest, my face flushed from the heat. “What’s wrong Shy?”

“Y-you a-and.... uh but... Dash? You t-two..” she confusingly speaks before fainting to the floor. I quickly move over to her checking for any injuries.

After being satisfied that she wasn’t hurt in any way, I pick her up and bring her to bed. Once tucked in, I head back into Shy’s living room to see Luna preparing to leave.

“Gone so soon?”

She shakes her head no, “I feel like I’ve overstayed my welcome. Would you be okay with us accompanying you home?”

“Of course! Also that was the closest you’ve ever been to having a full sentence without the whole third person talk” Luna puffs her cheeks.

“We are getting better, just you wait”

Once fully dressed for the elements, I grab my gift and we make our way over to my house through the cold. The day seems to be fading fast, the light becoming less frequent as the winter rolls in.

“You must like winter with the shorter days and longer nights right?”

She shakes her head, “We despise the cold, reminds us of our time on the moon”

I don’t bother to question how she didn’t die without oxygen and all that, there’s likely some stupid answer that doesn’t make any sense anyways.

“Do you ever worry about being alone... again?”

She takes a large sigh, “Not a night that goes by without it”. With my question already dampening the mood I decide to continue on with the real talk.

“I’m sorry if this isn’t something you like to think about but, doesn’t being immortal scare you as well? Like how do you make friends without worrying about... you know”

“A lesson learned from long ago, we would rather share and enjoy the memories of another then to spend our days worrying about the end. One could not fully enjoy what life has to bring now if they stay trapped in the future” her logic seems to make sense but, not ease my worry for her.

“Is it weird to say I feel bad... bad that I can’t be with you forever. It feels like I’m just hurting you by not being there for your whole life. I’m just a small part really”

She smiles looking to me, “You are more than a small part Joey, we still remember the names of those close to us even after thousands of years. Every pony I’ve met has had their own impact into shaping the pony I am today whether it be for a short time or long. Know that we except the burden of loss if it means we get to spend time with thou”

Her words hit home, “That means a lot, it really does”. It’s painful to know she’s stuck to suffer with this fate, only if I could help.

For some reason this hits me emotionally, I fail to really hold back the tears welling in my eyes. Tying to wipe away at my eyes discreetly, Luna notices my odd behavior and moves over to comfort me. Without saying a word she leans against me as we walk, letting me collect myself in peace.

By the time we reach my house it’s become somewhat dark, I invite Luna inside and place the parchment on the dinner table. The house is empty with the fireplace still going. It would be a little bit before Pinkie gets home even with her shortened shift in the winter, most shops closing up earlier than normal to fight the reduced traffic. Pinkie complained about this change one night and I wanted to explain to her the economics behind it but, I was much too busy trying to forget that I was alive.

“We enjoy your place. Last time I only saw from outside but, from where we stand now, it is very calming”

Once I’ve removed my coat I head over to pass out on my couch, today being the most activity in weeks. “Yea... I heard green was a soothing color so kapow, there’s the walls” my voice is muffled from the couch.

She admires most of the interior then heads over to sit with me, taking my head into her lap. I lay there with my eyes closed, rather tired from... well everything.

“Joey?”

“Hmm?”

“Does thou find us... appealing?”

Her question is odd but not enough to make me open my eyes. “Yea your wonderful Lulu”

Silence follows for a bit. “We should remove your collar, it must be rather uncomfortable”

“Oh thanks”

Using her magic she undoes the collar placing it to the side on a coffee table. It’s silent again. “Hey Lu?”

“Yes?”

“What did you mean by that?”

“Mean by what?” She asks innocently.

I open my eyes, “That weird question, what do you mean do I find you appealing?”

“Well what do you think? Tis what we meant”

I open my eyes, “It doesn’t feel like it”

A light blush appears on her face, “And what if it meant more?”

I gulp unsure how to respond. Surely it didn’t mean anything more right?

“... that’s not funny” I say looking away.

Luna pulls my face back, her own now much closer to mine. “Tis not a joke”

Inside I’m frantically panicking for any explanation to how this could be happening. I’m a fucking loser, a depressed nobody! There’s no way this is really happening.

Sure enough she starts to close the gap between us, her face inches from mine.

A sudden noise causes Luna to shoot up away from me in embarrassment, it being just the wind howling at my window. She looks to me clearly struggling with what just happened.

“We’re sorry! We me- I mean I’m sorry!” Before I can protest she magically vanishes from my sight, leaving behind a puff of black smoke.

Sitting in silence I attempt to reboot my brain into solving what just occurred.

She was gonna kiss me, she totally was... the princess. Would that make me a prince?

I shake my head to clear my thoughts. I need a nap before Pinkie gets home., I can’t waste my time worrying about this right now. Time passes by, a sudden movement at the door stirs me awake.

“Joey! Are you home?” It’s Pinkie. She’s unable to see me currently as the back of the couch hides me.

I groan loudly to tell her I’m here. “So Joey how was toda- oh wow where’s all your hair?!”

Oh yeah, Shy cut my hair...

“Shy thought I needed a new look or something”

“I think it looks super strange but, I’m probably use to dingy dirty Joey. You look all clean now!”

“That’s really encouraging” I say sarcastically.

Pinkie giggles, “Oh don’t be such a sour puss, it looks nice. You got that coolest pony at the water cooler look” Her joke is enough to make me smile. She’s surprised, the last time she saw me today I was in a much worse shape. “Did something happen today? I haven’t seen you smile like that in a really really really long time!”

“Look on the table” Pinkie moves over to inspect my gift. “I saw Luna today when I went over to Fluttershy’s and she gave me that”

“What’s it do?”

“It’s like that shit Spike does when he sends a letter only I keep the paper after writing it, bring it here I’ll show ya”

Following my command, she heads over to me with the parchment in her mouth. Dropping it into my hand I unravel the parchment to show its full length, then write a small message addressed to the pony beside me. Rolling it back up, a letter poofs into existence with black smoke. Grabbing it from the air, Pinkie unrolls it to read.

‘Howdy’
~Joe Marshall

“Wowee that’s cool! You can send me letters whenever I go back to see my family on the rock farm!” Pinkie glows brightly as she speaks.

I have to squint to see past her overjoyed glow, “Yea I can send one to anypony, long as I address it”

She turns her focus quickly over to me after rolling up her letter, “So are you feeling better now after today? Maybe tomorrow you could go see one of the other girls?”

Still feeling a little better than normal I give an optimistic response, “Maybe... let’s see tomorrow how I feel”

“Take your time. It’s okay if you don’t feel like going anywhere”

“Today after catching up with Luna I started feeling a little better” Thinking back to what happened makes me blush.

Pinkie of course notices and doesn’t waste the opportunity, “Did something happen between you two? Hmmmm? Something juicy!?”

“Your starting to sound like Rarity”

Pinkie starts to bounce in a circle around the couch singing ‘Joey and Luna rolling in the hay! Kissing and-‘

“Guess somepony wants to sleep in their own room tonight...” She stops dead in her tracks with a ghastly expression.

“You wouldn’t dare!”

“Ptfft Ha! Pinkie your addicted, you need an intervention for your cuddle habits” she shakes her head dramatically.

“Nuh uh, nope! I don’t have a problem at all!”

“Clearly you do, I mean I’m sweating like a greased monkey every night from you radiating you lava heat”

She giggles, “That can’t be true, your so warm so there’s no way I’m the one making the bed so hot!”

“I guess your right... my flaming hot bod is probably lighting up the joint” We both share a small laugh.

“I’ve seen you without your shirt and I’ll say... I have no idea what your supposed to look like”

Chuckling I respond, “I’m in okay shape, nothing to brag about or be ashamed”

She seems to think of something before blushing lightly, “I like your body!” She shouts a little to suddenly causing her to cover her mouth with a hoof.

Is she flirting with me? First Luna now her?

I can’t help but blush some, “Alright pervy let’s go easy now”

She proceeds to hop on my chest and lay across me with her head just below my chin. “Your very warm and squishy but not too squishy like my bean bag but enough to really get in there, you know what I mean?”

“So your saying I’m fat but not too fat?”

“Noooo I’m saying your squishy! There’s a difference! See squishy is all... well squishy and fat is lumpy! Your not lumpy at all”

I smile at her childish explanation, “Sure I’m squishy”

By now today’s events seem to really catch up to me, my body starting to feel the pains of moving around after being stationary for so long. As Pinkie shifts some, I groan in pain.

“You okay?”

“I’ll be fine, just need to get used to moving around again”

“...okay just go easy alright, once I saw a pony try to compete in the running of the leaves after staying inside all year and she fainted halfway through! Not saying that your in the falling of the leaves or that you run much... or even do anything athletic” she giggles.

“I’ll have you know I’m pretty athletic if I want to be” she lifts her head to show me she doesn’t believe what I say. “Really I am! I used to play sports back in high school and even dabbled a little with intramural in college”

“What’s intramural mean?”

“Like competitive leagues that are just for fun, the records don’t really matter. It’s something to do to pass the time”

“That sounds fun! Did you play hoofball? Or hoopsketball?” I flick Pinkies head with my finger. “Owie.. why’d you do that!”

“Cause Pinkie why would humans have a sport called hoofball or whatever the other one was called!”

She rubs her head where I flicked her while puffing her cheeks, “Didn’t need to flick me...”

I sigh, beginning to scratch behind her ear to her pleasure. It’s not long before she goes limp against me, falling asleep after her long day at work. I know she’s exhausted after every day but, she’s never tell me, she would hate to worry me. For that behavior the least I can do is help her relax when she gets back home. I look down at her face to see a small snot bubble growing and shrinking with each breath.

Yuck

Reaching for a tissue on the coffee table above my head I accidentally knock the box onto the floor, the noise not enough to wake Pinkie. “Dammit” I whisper, the bubble growing even larger.

Oh just kill me now

Just before my time is up, Pinkie rubs her nose with her foreleg, wiping the snot away and onto my shirt.

Oh my god again!

Ignoring the problem on my shirt, I get up taking Pinkie with me to my room and tuck the little party goer into bed before heading to the bathroom to brush my teeth. As I move from the bathroom over to the bed I’m hit with a lightheaded spurt causing me to stumble and fall.

Pinkie leaps up from her sleep looking around to see me laying on the floor grabbing at my head. “Holy hay Joey! Are you alright? What happened?”

Letting my body gather it’s equilibrium back, I stay seated on the floor. “I don’t know... just feel really dizzy”

“When’s the last time you ate?”

“Um... maybe yesterday?” I say shrugging my shoulders. I did have that hot chocolate but that’s not nearly enough to support me.

Pinkie furrows her brow, “What!? Didn’t Shy make you something to eat?”

“No I didn’t ask her for anything, we were kinda busy doing other stuff. Don’t blame her I mean I was willing to go do shit and we got distracted”

Pinkies frown stays, “Well tomorrow your having a big breakfast whether you want it or not mister!”

Picking myself up I get into bed next to Pinkie rubbing the back of my neck, “Sorry... I’ll try to be better” I give an embarrassed look.

She sighs moving over to hug me as I’m sitting up, “Please be careful... I really worry about you”

Guilt burns away at my insides, making me feel sick. “I worry about you too, I mean it’s okay to say your tired sometimes Pinkie. I understand if I’m being too much of a burden on top of your work. I’ll try to pick it up”

She shakes her head frustrated, “No no it’s fine! Really I’m fine! You shouldn’t be worrying about me, I’ll be okay” I can’t see her face as she remains buried at my side.

“That’s not reassuring”

“Just... please do me this favor and stop worrying”

“Pinkie that’s ridiculous, your the one who said it’s okay to ask for he-“

She lifts herself to face me, her eyes watery and tired. “I’ll be fine!” Her lip quivers.

Instinctively I wrap her in my arms hugging her close, “Let me help you”

She starts to sniff, fighting the urge to cry, “That’s not fair to you... you shouldn’t be the one worrying”

I smile, “I’m not just gonna let one of my best friends suffer”

She starts to shake in my arms, breaking down from this past weeks events. All of the added stress of balancing work with taking care of me has finally busted through. Her breaths are shaky and come in large heaves as tears pour down her face. It’s heartbreaking to see her this way and it’s all my fault. The sickness already brewing inside of me from nightmare night is reinvigorated, my disgust with myself reaching an all time high.

I can’t help but hurt every fucking pony I know... something has to change. First I need to get into Celestia’s library and see if I can get any clues on getting rid of this magic shit, and I think I know just the pony to help me get in there

My thoughts are disrupted by the sudden silence, Pinkie now calmed down. I hadn’t realized it til now but I started stroking her mane while she was crying, it feels too natural to stop now. I don’t have to stop myself though due to Pinkie herself climbing up to face me. Before I realize it she had moved in and placed her lips into mine, my eyes widen in surprise. They’re just like a humans, soft and supple, a sudden feeling clearing the sickness within me and replacing it with uncertainty. Although I’m caught off guard, I can’t help but return the action closing my eyes to push into her. My arm wraps around her back as we start to get more passionate but it’s after a few seconds that my brain catches back up. I pull away blushing heavily while wiping my lips. Pinkie also holds a heavy blush looking into my eyes for an answer.

“That... wasn’t right, we shouldn’t have done that” I look away afraid of what just happened.

“I’m sorry Joey... that was really sudden of me. I’ve... felt something for you for a little bit now and I wasn’t sure what to do about it and I’m really afraid because I don’t know how to handle it anymore! Every day when I’m at work I can’t help but think about you and I want to spend more and more time around you and the feeling in my tummy won’t go away and I’m really really scared” she starts to break down again after this.

I’m shocked, unable to process what’s going on. A pony... my friend has feeling for me and I didn’t realize all this time. I don’t know what to think or say, words escaping me in the moment.

Do I have feelings for Pinkie?

I think about it. Sure I enjoy Pinkies company, and sure I think she’s cute for a pony but anything deeper than that? Is the feeling the same as my first relationship? No, but that one wasn’t instant either, rather it was built after a few months of dating. Maybe Pinkie deserves a chance, she does help so much and I wouldn’t be alive without her. But how much of this feeling inside of me is real and not dependence, I don’t want to have a repeat of the last relationship. Can I comfortably say I like her and it isn’t just the feeling of needing her?

“Pinkie... I” her grip tightens around me.

“It’s okay if you don’t feel the same way... I don’t want this to make things any different between us? It just felt wrong keeping this to myself so I felt like I should tell you” her sobs continue between every few words.

I move her chin to face me, tears still streaming down her face, our eyes meet. “Could you wait for me?” She doesn’t seem to understand. “I don’t know if what I feel is... real. I can’t help but feel dependent of you like I need you in my life but I don’t know if it’s more than that. Could you wait until I feel better for my answer?”

She thinks for a moment then nods in agreement. Quickly we embrace into a hug as she continues to cry into me. Minutes go by til she’s fallen asleep, resting at my side. A whole new issues has brewed its head however, this time it feels a lot more wanted.

It’s the next morning and I awake to a wonderful smell coming from outside the room. I look over to where Pinkie should be to find nopony there. Yesterday’s high had worn off and I now felt shitty again, like wanting to drown myself in the closest sink level shitty. Getting up I take a quick pee and drink some water straight from the faucet, my throat feeling dryer than normal. Once I’ve entered the main room of my home I look to my left to see Pinkie working away in the kitchen at some blueberry pancakes, a small stack already piled upon a plate on the kitchen counter.

We share a glance before blushing, both of us looking away, there’s an awkward tension in the air. “H-hey...” my voice is quiet, uncertain of what to say.

Thankfully Pinkie is much better with small talk then me and initiates the conversation.

“I made you breakfast, I was hoping that it would make you feel better today if you got something in you before going anywhere... if you feel like going anywhere” her face is red but still maintains a confidence.

“Thanks”

Still uncertain if I’m up to the task of going outside, I take a plate and two pancakes over to the dinner table. She has already put out a stick of butter along with some syrup for me to use at the table. I place a small slab of butter on my top cake and drizzle the syrup across its face. Taking a small bite, my mouth is assaulted with various flavors of buttery richness with a hint of blueberry tart.

“This is really good, you always manage to impress me”

She heads over to the table with a plate of her own smiling, “I made these with an extra special secret ingredient!”

I talk between bites, “What’s that?”

“Love” she smiles brightly with her eyes closed. Her face still red hot.

I choke for a second from surprise causing me to clear my throat, “*ahem* maybe we should talk about last night” Her smile falters.

“Sorry”

“No it’s okay I’m just... I’m trying to get used to all this and I don’t really know what to do”

“Would you be more comfortable if we pretended last night didn’t happen because I can stop with the silly talk if your not okay with it”

“That’s not fair to you”

“But you said life’s not always fair Joey!”

I freeze, “Don’t talk like me... that’s not who you are”

“Why can’t you see that your a good pony? Your always trying to make it seem like your a big meanie but I know your not!”

“Maybe you don’t know me then”

Pinkie sits up and places her hooves on the table, “I DO know you! Your nice and caring to me and the girls and you always put others before yourself. Even when your unhappy and don’t feel good you try to go out and help others without letting us worry about you! That’s... that’s why I like you... that’s why I love you” the rant ends with her sitting back down embarrassed, refusing to look my way.

Although I disagree with me being a good ‘pony’ I cannot disagree with everything else she said. “I only help out you girls”

“That’s not true, you helped out Princess Luna as well. She told me about what happened Nightmare Night before...”

The room seems to get heavy, “Please don’t bring up that day, I want to forget it ever happened” the conversation has made me feel full already, my plate still covered with a whole pancake. I get up from the table.

“I’m sorry but you need to eat Joey, you can’t go on like this” she steps in front of me when I go to leave.

“Yes I can”

She stands up on two legs to hold me back, “Please... for me” her voice is filled with a pained sadness.

“... fine but I’ll eat later, I don’t think I’d be able to scarf anything down like this”

Still bothered by my answer she has no choice but to accept, “Okay but I want you to promise me”

“Cross my..”

“Heart hope to fly”

“Heart hope to fly”

“Stick a cupcake in my eye”

“Stick a cupcake in my eye” the last line sounding monotone.

She seems like there’s something else she wants but is unable to say it.

“What’s wrong?”

“Can I... still hug you?” Her questions pulls at my heart.

I kneel down with arms extended, “of course”

Blushing she slowly moves over and we embrace. We stay like this for a while. Her heartbeat seems to match mine and we synchronize our exhales as time passes. She still smells like pancake batter, some dough sprinkled on her fur. I don’t feel like ever letting go, the warmth leaking into my very core making the loneliness feeling go away. Even my morning sickness seems to vanish in Pinkie hooves, she’s like a cure to my endless illness. We shift some to get more comfortable, our heads on each others shoulders and faces in each other’s necks. Worry fills my head of losing these moments, a future without Pinkie.

“Please don’t leave me” I sound desperate, too busy trying to keep what I have then to worry about embarrassment.

“I wouldn’t leave you Joey... no matter what” The familiarity of her words sting but, they’re exactly what I need right now.

“I’m sorry for being so much trouble” she shushes me, rubbing my back with her hoof.

“Your not any trouble Joey... I love you”

Her words fill me with joy but I can’t replicate the feeling.

“I’m sorry..” guilt tears away at me for letting Pinkie down. “Give me some time and I’ll give you a better response”

“It’s okay if you never do, just make sure your always my friend and I’ll be okay” she pulls away to face me, tears in her eyes. It’s too much for me to handle, my eyes spilling tears down my hot face. I’m unsure why but I don’t want her to see my face like this so I bury it back into her neck.

I won’t fuck things up... not this time

Just like my past relationship I had made the same promise, no matter what to stay friends however this time is different. Now I know the pain, I’ve experienced it and I’ll never let anyone or anypony I know ever go through what I did.

My grip around Pinkie tightens, as if somehow holding her tighter would make the pain go away. She lets me stay like this for a few more minutes until speaking up.

“I still have to go to work today, the Cakes are letting me go in later than usual. Do you need me to get Fluttershy for you?”

I shake my head, “No... I’ll *sniff* I’m going to go to Twilights. *sniff* I promised Spike I’d get him his ... heh dream mare” I’m able to chuckle at the end thinking about the absurdity of my task.

She smiles, “That’s so nice of you to help him but, don’t you know about how Rarity sees him?”

“Yea... I’ll think of something. I’m at least good at that” I give a goofy grin making Pinkie smile even more.

She moves in and gives me another kiss like before only this time it’s quick. “That’s for good luck” she finishes with a wink and her tongue out. We both are crimson faced at the moment.

“Pinkie can you please ask me before you do that?”

She giggles, “Is it okay for me to kiss you?”

“... sometimes but ask me first okay?”

She brightens up leaping into the air, “Okie dokie arta chokie!”

What have I just agreed to?

Getting up I move over to the coat rack and cover myself appropriately for the weather. A pair of timberline like boots, a scarf, beanie, and a large black bubble coat protect my hairless frame from the icy chill waiting outside. Holding the door open for Pinkie, we both head out to our destinations, walking together into town until we get to Twilights. Saying our goodbyes I head inside to see the purple nerd sitting at her service desk. Her face shocked at my arrival.

“Long time no see”

Author's Note

I really enjoyed writing this chapter so I hope you enjoyed reading it just as much!

Personally I feel like this was my best chapter yet, if you feel the same way share the love with a comment! I planned on making it longer but changed my mind, happy with the cliffhanger. Also 1k views! Thank you to all of you that have read this so far or are keeping up with it currently, your the best!