I’m trying

A week passes since the kiss with Twilight and I still haven’t given an answer. She insists it’s fine, that I forget about it but, that’s completely unacceptable to me. I tell her to give me more time, that I’ve been overwhelmed lately. In reality it’s because of my plan, an idea of how I’ll break into Celestia’s private library. Of course I’m counting on Luna support in the matter yet I still need a backup plan if things go awry.

The first step was getting all of the girls to believe I want to check out Canterlot, that it’s a great opportunity for us all to have a little vacation. Seeing how Twilights relationship with Celestia is so close, having a stay within the castle is guaranteed. Now it would be untrue to say that’s the only reason, cause I actually do wish to spend time with everypony and seeing how I’m stuck here it’s best to go check out the sights. It’s a perfect plan. Beside Pinkie, there is no other pony that knows the hidden meaning behind the trip and I’d like to keep it that way.

Currently I find myself building a snowpony with Dash and the ‘cutie mark crusaders’, apparently the name of a group the three fillies Scootaloo, Sweetie Belle, and Applebloom are a part of. Something about finding their cutie marks, the weird butt tattoos that everypony has. Of course this led to them to asking to see my mark which led to an awkward explanation on how humans sometimes live without ever knowing their purpose or calling.

“That’s real sad Mr. Hooman, don’t ya think you should know yer special talent?” The farm filly Applebloom asks.

“Hmm nah, I think if you put your mind to it, you can be good at almost anything”

“But.. don’t you want to know your cutie mark? I mean I think it would be really cool to find out what I kick butt at!” That’s Rainbow Dash jr speaking.

“Okay what if I told you something about this very question back on Earth?”

Immediately the three fillies stop working on building the snowpony and rush to my side, eyes gleaming with excitement.

“Ooo can you tell us can you tell us!”

“Yea I’d like to here about alien stuff too!”

Dash stops as well, chewing on a carrot from our previous shopping trip. “You never tell me anything about your planet dude, so this better be good”

“Jeez it’s not really all that much, just some lyrics from a song I liked”

“Hoomans have music too?”

I laugh, “Yea of course, not like we were savages. We had some sophistication” I hold my nose high.

Dash laughs and punches my shoulder, “HA, yea okay big guy. Tell us the lyrics than”

I rub my shoulder from her punch, the impact always more painful than I remember. “Alright.. alright settle down. So there was an artist I always liked to listen to and he went by a different name then his original born with one, something humans do a bunch for professions like this”

“Shome shonies do that shere Joey” Dash retorts while crunching loudly.

“And some ponies eat with their mouth closed. Anyways as I was saying, his name really isn’t important but what he said in a certain song always stuck out to me. He sings, ‘at times wonder my purpose, easy to then feel worthless but peace is something that starts with me’” The girls seem to be in thought over what I had actually said while Dash looked to me with a grin.

“I like that! That’s like... saying only you can make your own peace, right?”

“I guess, I mean I always interpreted it to mean that it’s up to you to not feel worthless, that you have control over that feeling and can work to avoid it”

“Well I’ve never felt that way, I’m a future Wonderbolt! A Wonderbolt can’t have any doubts in their abilities and the same goes for me” she stands proud of her confidence.

I flick her head with a finger, “Your about as cool as a freshly laid egg”

“Ow, hey! What do you know about being cool?”

“Not a da- dang thing. It’s not cool if your actively trying to be cool Dash, it’s something that comes naturally”

“Sure buddy, whatever helps you sleep at night. Anyways did you realize that Hearths Warming Eve is like next week?” This is new news to me!

“What? Your kidding?” Meanwhile the conversation seems to have bore the crusaders back to their snowponies.

“What? You never noticed all the decorations getting put up all month? How blind are you?”

I let my voice get real low so the girls can’t hear me, “Oh I’m sorry did I forget to mention I was sicker than shit for a month until about one week ago?” I let myself get a little angry, taking a deep breath to calm down.

“Oh yea... sorry” she circles her hoof around into the snow.

It’s awkward for a bit until Dash takes another carrot from the bag. I reach my hand out toward her, refusing to look that way. “Can I have one?” It brings a little smile to her face as she hands one over. I take a loud bite into the veggie, “Thanks, and sorry about... getting all mad”

“Eh we all get mad, what are ya gonna do”

Appreciating her forgiveness I wrap her with one arm while lifting her onto two legs, “Such a great friend I got here, would run through a wall for me”

She’s squished against my body blushing from embarrassment. Eventually Dash is able to push off away from my grasp. “Easy you big dope, what do I look like? A pillow?”

“Sometimes you do but right now?” Taking a moment to inspect the grumpy pony while biting my carrot I continue, “Ehhh, more like an emotional lesbian”

Dash looks over to the girls seeing that they were to preoccupied to notice me say that, relief comes across her figure. “Joey that’s not funny right now. What if one of the girls heard you say that?”

“Oh cmon we’re just playing, you know I’d clear up any misunderstanding for you if things went too far”

“For some reason I don’t believe that” she speaks under her breath, loud enough for me to hear.

I laugh and move over beside Scootaloo, placing the half eaten carrot into the snowpony’s face. “Perfect!” Its the final touch on an otherwise terrible looking snowpony, or at least what I would assume is terrible for a snowpony.

“Ah jeez, girls I don’t think building snowpony’s are really any of our special talents” Scootaloo says while looking back to the others.

“I’m kinda glad honestly cause I hate the cold!” Sweetie chimes in.

“How bout we go back to the tree house an think of another idea?”

The three nod in agreement forcing Dash and I to follow suit as chaperones. We look at each other, I shrug my shoulders and we’re off. Unfortunately for me, the girls are awfully young and spry, settling for nothing less than running back to AppleJacks farm, the cold nipping at my face while I try to keep up. Pinpricks of numbness cover my nose. Thankfully the trip isn’t long, we wave them off while I catch my breath.

“Jeez dude, you need to get outside more often”

Through my wheezing I’m able to get out, “Never... did.. good.. in the cold”

“You sure it’s cause it’s cold outside? Cause I feel fine and I’ve never had a problem cause it’s cold outside. Then again I am, thee Rainbow Dash after all”

“Wow... so humble” she pats my back.

“Let’s go champ, I wanna check out the new restaurant that opened up before it gets too crowded”

After some struggling I’m able to finally catch my breath, “There’s a new restaurant? What’s it called?”

“Romero’s, it’s an Italian place”

Why the fuck is it still the word Italian and not some other stupid shit like prench?

“They got pizza?”

“They got pizza!”

“Oh yeah! Sounds like a fuckin plan!” We high five or ‘high hoof’, walking back to the center of town. “Also you still owe me like 2 more dinners”

During the trip I realize how close we are to Sugar Cube Corner, only a couple buildings down. Heading inside we are greeted by a stallion wearing proper waiter apparel, more closely related to a chef though if I was being specific. Dash speaks up for the two of us for convenience, most ponies not finding themselves very comfortable around me. It’s rather crowded, several ponies now looking my way.

“Welcome to Romero’s, do you have a reservation?”

“Nah, do you guys have any spots available?”

Glancing between the two of us, he seems to be more accepting than most ponies, “For Rainbow Dash? Oh I’m sure we can find you a spot just hold on for a second... and yes we do follow me”

Dash looks back to me all cocky, throwing a wink. I chuckle and follow our guide past a sea of staring eyes. Although I would never admit it aloud, I was incredibly uncomfortable but, I would never let them see that they got to me. Finally, after what seems like a endless journey, we arrive at a booth in the back, secluded from most others.

“Here we are, and I’ll have a waitress come for you as soon as possible” he says with a smile.

“Thanks” I give out, Dash as well with a nod and lift of her hoof.

Sitting across from her we share a glance, “Those ponies aren’t bothering you are they? Cause if your uncomfortable we can go somewhere else”

“Thanks I appreciate the concern but, there’s nowhere we’re gonna find that doesn’t feel a little awkward so let’s enjoy this while were already here” I give an encouraging smile.

It’s enough to sway her concern, our attention now to the menus in front of us. Quickly glancing, an old favorite of mine makes its appearance, a margarita pizza. Following the same strange familiarity of Earth, most of the meal names were similar to that back home beside things like hay fries or other pony delicacies. My choice however, was common among people back home and apparently well known here as well.

“Sick they got margarita pizza here!”

Dash scans over the menu to address my choice, drowning in disgust. “What? Yuck! It’s got a whole bunch of tomatoes on top!”

“What do you mean what? Aren’t you a herbivore?”

“Duh but that doesn’t mean I like wet squishy tomatoes! Those things have such a nasty feel when you chew them”

“Such a hater”

“I’m gonna get a mozzarella, much better choice” her smile of confidence shines brightly.

“I can’t argue, that’s a good choice but I think your sleeping on a margarita”

“No.. definitely not. That’s some type of pizza that Flutters would like”

“Are you insinuating that I’m like Fluttershy?” I puff up acting offended.

“I’m not in- whatever you said about anypony” she looks away crossing her hooves.

Pausing we hold back our laughter until it’s too much. After our nice little moment, the waitress makes her way to our table, seemingly nervous at the sight of me. Taking a glance to the pony across from me, it appears Dash’s presence is reassuring in some way. Ignoring the behavior I let Dash be our communicator.

“Hiya you two, I’m Spring Clover and I’ll be your waitress today! Is there anything either of you two would prefer to drink?”

“Nah I’ll just take a water”

“Me too”

“Alright and is today a special event or anything? Maybe just checking us out for the first time?” Her cheerful attitude makes it easy to forget about earlier, helping me get more settled in.

“Nope! Just checking the place out, we like to spend time going out to different places around. He’s kinda new here so I outta show him the best spots”

The mare looks over to me with a small blush, “Oh that’s wonderful! How long have you two been dating?”

My eyes go wide in shock, Dash seems absolutely flabbergasted by the question. “We uh..”

“Sorry we’re not dating... just friends hanging out, ya know?” I bail Dash out.

She immediately embarrassed at the accusation, “I’m sorry I didn’t mean to make things awkward or anything!”

“Your fine” I say smiling. She seems a little uneasy at the sight of my canines but otherwise more settled then before.

“My bad. Are either of you ready to order as well or do you need a few minutes?”

We give our orders and wait for her to come back with our drinks. Thanking her, we return to the weird air between us. Dash seems to have finally come back after some distant thinking.

“That was kinda funny huh?”

I stir the ice cubes in my water with a straw, “I really hate cringe moments like that”

“But you have to admit it was funny, did you see her face when you told her the truth? She was so embarrassed”

“Heh, yea... guess that serves her huh? Trying to make us all lovey dovey, going on a date. It’s not a date it’s two friends hanging out”

“Yeah! Two friends can hangout and not be a date, I mean how stupid of a suggestion”

“Yup! And even if we’re different sexes, doesn’t mean we have to be in a relationship”

“Couldn’t agree more! I mean there’s plenty of examples like... like the wonderbolts! Their captain Spitfire is a mare and she isn’t in a relationship with any of the others!”

“Wait, are you sure? Like how do you know they ain’t doing shit together on the low?”

“Cause...” she thinks for a moment before becoming stumped. “Holy shit they might be doing stuff behind closed doors, I never thought of that”

I laugh at her expression, “Hehe, athletes at that level do shit like that all the time. We had a thing called the Olympics back on Earth where all the best athletes from my country go compete against other countries in the world and I heard there’s some fucking that goes on in their camps”

“Woah, that’s like... kinda cool”

“What?! That’s gross as fuck, who knows what kinds diseases they out there spreading!”

“Diseases? Do humans have a lot of sicknesses or?”

“Ponies don’t have STDs?”

“STDs?”

“No way, sexually transmitted diseases”

Quickly she blushes up at her ignorance, “Oh! You mean HMIs”

“Who what now?”

“We call things like that harmful mating illnesses”

I shake my head in disappointment, “Everything has to sound or be so much softer here”

“Hey I didn’t name them that! That was some eggheads idea”

“Egghead? What is this the 1940’s? We call em nerds now”

“Twilight’s a nerd, not an egghead. There’s a difference”

“Twilight is a nerd your right, but don’t forget quirky” she laughs in agreement, nodding her head with a hoof around her stomach.

“She.. she really is isn’t she?”

“Yea... I like that about her though” Dash stops laughing and wipes away a tear.

“Whaddya mean?”

“Like, it’s what makes her... her ya know? It’s just like how your so brash an shit, I enjoy the little features about all of you”

“Dude your acting really sappy”

“I’m not sappy! Here let me tell you a pizza joke”

“I don’t get how this’ll show your not sappy but-“

“Nah it’s too cheesy” Her face registers the joke after a second, instantly frowning.

“Your a nerd too”

Cut to the future, we’re both enjoying our pizzas, Dash with a smile while I cry at my new label of nerd, truly fallen to my new low. No I’m joking, I would never cry but deep down? I died a little.

“Yo this is super good” Dash exclaims with a string of cheese slowly being pulled into her mouth.

“Pffft, yo? Did you pick that up from me? You unoriginal-“

“How about you enjoy your nasty tomatoes and stop worrying about me” I puff my cheeks in frustration.

“They’re not nasty!” pouting like a small child.

“Okay Fluttershy”

An old thought comes up at the mentioning of her name, “Hey does Shy still think we fucking?”

She shrugs her shoulders, “I don’t know, we never talk about it”

I smile, then suddenly start to laugh. “You really are turning into a lesbian pony version of me”

“Why do you keep calming me gay? I haven’t done anything that makes me seem gay!”

“Haven’t done anything to disprove it either... specially with that gay pride hair”

“Gay pride hair?” She looks up at a strand of her hair hanging down in confusion.

“Back on Earth, rainbows were used as a symbol of gay pride. Honestly I shouldn’t be the one educating you on this because I don’t know enough”

“You seem to think being gay is really normal”

“It’s not here?”

“No, no not at all. I mean if two stallions hook up it’s really frowned upon but mares are okay to be together. Our differences in mare and stallion populations are too large for stallions to be acceptably gay”

“That was perhaps the smartest thing you’ve ever said. Maybe your a closet nerd”

“Just because I know about pony gender differences doesn’t mean I’m a nerd. Every pony knows those things, they’re taught in filly school! Mares should look to join a stallions herd in order to maintain our population”

“A herd? Isn’t that just a term used for a group?” I almost slip up saying ‘of animals’ at the end but I quickly realize the harm that might bring.

“It’s when a bunch of mares are in a relationship with one stallion”

“Sounds like heaven if I was back on Earth”

“What do humans do?”

“We pick one mate for life... or at least try. They’re always issues that come up but, the respected thing to do is be with one person at a time”

“But what about your population? Is there any issues with finding a mate?”

“Nah, there’s about an equal amount of males to females or at least equal enough not to worry. I shouldn’t say there isn’t any issue to finding a mate though, lot of people have become really picky. Then again a lot of people are assholes so can’t blame them”

“That’s kind of crazy to think about... I couldn’t imagine a world with that many stallions”

“Stop pretending to be straight”

“Again with the gay stuff! I’ve never done anything even close to gay!”

“Ever kissed another girl?”

She blushes looking away, “Okay it was one time and it was a dare”

“Tisk tisk tisk, typical denial. Early symptom of homosexuality”

“Do you have a problem with ponies being gay?”

I place my hand to my chest with a gasp, “Why how dare you! I think nothing poorly on individuals with a different preference, after all I came from a country of freedom. Freedom of expression, religion, shit mostly anything. So people or ponies can do whatever they damn well please in my book”

Dash pulls away from her slice with a long string of cheese hanging to her mouth, “Swounds wike Eqwestria!”

“Goodness gracious close your mouth while you chew”

She swallows with a comically large gulp, “I said, sounds like Equestria! After all were free to do whatever we want” I give a deadpan stare.

“Can you openly insult your princesses without penalty?”

“Uh... no but, why would we want to? They do a really good job... as far as I know”

“Because that’s control over your media, leads to things like propaganda. Filling the heads of ponies with lies in order to hold control”

“They wouldn’t do that”

“Of course they wouldn’t do that but, do you see what I’m getting at? It’s definitely a problem”

She wipes off her greasy hooves leaving the napkin next to her empty plate, “I think your just overreacting, this isn’t like your home world. Ponies are nicer here and our leaders are more reliable”

It’s a shot at Earth yet I can’t argue her statement. In general, ponies are surprisingly nicer when they don’t think your an evil villain and I haven’t really seen any display of power hunger from either of the princesses. Maybe I disagree with some of Celestia’s handling of my situation and maybe I have some resentful feeling due to Luna’s banishment. Either way, neither of those have to do with a hunger for obtaining more at the cost of her civilians.

“Eh, maybe ya got a point” wiping my own face and hands with a napkin.

The two of us are rather stuffed by now, asking for take home boxes before heading out. It’s midday and the sun is sorta low, the winter carrying a shorter than normal daytime just like back on Earth. We walk back to my place with our boxes in hand.. well mine in hand and Dash’s balancing on her back somehow. Chatting a little to make time pass, it doesn’t take long before we’re back on the topic of Hearths Warming Eve.

“So the girls all get together and we do a secret gift exchange. We draw a name from a hat a few days before and then have to get a gift for whoever you get. Last year I got Twilight so I got her a yoga mat to workout on. She spends so much time reading I thought she could use the exercise!” She seems awfully impressed with herself.

“And she didn’t take that as you saying she’s fat?”

“Nope”

Knowing Twilight she would never tell Dash

“Awfully thoughtful of you” I say with a fake smile.

“Yep! So are you gonna come party with us? Like I said it’s next week, you can go to Twilight’s and get your name whenever before then”

Honestly it sounds delightful, I always loved Christmas. “I’d love to go, you can count me in”

“Okay but if you draw my name, there’s these wing weights that just came out and I really want to try them out”

“That kinda defeats the purpose don’t you think... to tell me what you want?”

She shrugs, “Do whatever you party pooper”

“I’ll have you know I never once ‘pooped the party’. I never went to them at all” I cross my arms pretending to look proud.

The look she gives could only be described as embarrassment for me, “You really are a nerd” My soul cracks at her words.

Yep, there it is again. I really am a nerd

Continuing our trip, we round the last corner heading down the path to my house, the trip would only be a handful of minutes after this. Dash seems distracted only to look back at me with a toothy smile.

“I’m really glad your feeling better dude... I was kinda worried after I heard what happened and how you were. Just know that I’m really impressed with what you’ve been through and how you’ve kept going. Don’t get a big head though from me saying that”

I chuckle, glad I’m feeling better too. While not completely at 100%, I’m much better than two weeks ago.

“It’s easier when I got friends like you”

She seems to really appreciate what I have to say... only for a moment. “Alright easy on the sap” We both smirk, her focus moves to the path ahead, “Id do anything for a friend...”

An unspoken agreement is arranged between us to finish the trip in silence, enjoying each other’s company and friendship for the time being. I’m able to truly understand how blessed I am to have Dash and the girls helping me, I can’t help but feel guilty for not letting them know things sooner. Now I just need to ask all of them for help when the time comes.

Eventually we arrive at my home and head inside. Dash makes her way over to my couch while I gather us two glasses filled with famous Apple farm cider, a delicacy to the members of Ponyville. Handing Dash her glass I sit beside her and take swig, it’s a refreshing cold that seems to seep into my very soul.

Dash pulls her face away from her drink with a loud satisfied exhale, “Now that hits the spot! How did you get this stuff? I thought AJ stopped selling it in the fall?”

Smirking I reply, “Me and Aj go waaay back” she doesn’t buy it. “To be honest, I’m not a huge cider guy so its been sitting in my fridge”

“Not a huge cider guy? You have terrible tastes” I remove my collar with a frown.

“Yeah okay herbivore that dislikes tomatoes, that’s gotta be one of the stupidest things I’ve ever heard”

She turns quickly, “Plenty of ponies hate tomatoes!”

“Name one”

“... that’s stupid, what if I asked you to name another pony that dislikes cider”

I point to her with disagreement, “No no no, that’s unfair. I don’t like meeting new people let alone ponies aaaand I’m not genetically predisposed to liking cider”

Dash has no idea what predisposed means but the context alone is enough to help her understand what it might mean. “Not all herbivores like the same greens doofus!”

She got me beat, “Eh... fuck you”

“Another point to team Rainbow” she fist pumps or hoof pumps, whatever makes sense contextually for this planet.

Letting her small victory over me go to the side, I have a more important issue to talk about. One about the girls and their feelings with me.

“Hey Dash... I have something I need to ask you about” she looks to me with confusion but seems eager. “And it’s probably not anything you can really help me with but I’m not looking for an answer”

“Spit it out big guy”

My hand holds my glass while a finger traces along the brim, my focus shifts away to the fireplace. “Twilight and me talked about how I keep everything to myself and that I should try talking things out more. That I should trust you girls so... I’m gonna do that now”

This makes Dash apprehensive, unsure of what’s about to be said. “Okay..” her voice is slightly filled with worry.

“I think.... no that’s not right” I take a second to collect myself and continue again. “Pinkie and Twilight said they loved me and I think Luna does too but I don’t know what to do because I’m a human and they’re all ponies and not just ponies but my friends and I don’t wanna hurt anypon-“

“Hey woah woah woah dude, you gotta slow down. Did you say love you?” I nod my head while biting my lip. “I could see why Twilight likes you seeing how your both nerds..” I frown. “Pinkie I guess from you two being together so often but, Princess Luna? Are you sure, cause you might think your a player but-“

“She tried to kiss me Dash, I’m sure” Dash leans back into her seat to soak it all in. “I felt like I should ask you cause you never bullshit me, I know I can count on you to tell me the truth when it really matters”

She takes a deep breath, “Holy shit dude this is a lot”

“I know” I join her in leaning back, taking another sip of my drink. “I’m afraid of what to do so I keep pushing it back”

Dash chugs the last of her drink and heads back to my kitchen for more. While walking she speaks up, “Well do you love any of them too?”

I sigh, “That’s the thing... I don’t know what I feel” looking down I stare deeply into the fire as if it somehow had the answer I need burning away in its fury.

Dash waits until she’s back only without a glass but, rather the entire bottle. “That doesn’t make sense, you gotta like one of them”

Thinking back to how I feel I’m still unsure how to answer, “Maybe... maybe I like them all”

She pulls her face away from the bottle with a smack, sucking on it like a baby on her mother’s teat. “Then form a herd, duh”

“What?! I can’t do that! I already told you humans have only one mate”

She points the bottle as an offer, I wave her off causing her to shrug and take another large swig. “Your in Equestria now big guy so might as well get used to it”

“This... this is different than saying anypony instead of anybody. Your asking me to change the way I’ve been raised and taught. The way I feel”

“The way you feel? What are you talking about? Just tell them all you love them and there, promblem solved” her words slurred near the end.

“Does that shit have alcohol in it?”

“Of course dingus, got a problemth with that?”

Standing up I grab the bottle from her hand, “Gimmie that you doof” looking to the bottle I see that I’m too late, it’s contents completely removed.

“Oops” she says with a grin, then begins to laugh uncontrollably. Her face now bright red even after catching her breath. “Yo it’s kinda hot in here dude, can you open a window?” She gets up to undo the latch nearby forcing me to pull her away at set her back down on the couch.

“I guess they say liquor makes the truth come out so tell me, what do you think about what I told you? I’m not looking for an answer”

“Good caush I’m not gonna pick besheen MY friends! BUT if I was you... I’d give them all a chance to proof they are the one!”

Sighing I pick her up and move her to the guest room, setting her down on the bed. “That would be plausible if I wasn’t a piece of shit”

“Your shnot a shit Joe..”

“What gives me the right to play them all like that?” She doesn’t seem to hear my last part, already unconscious “What a lightweight”

Going back to the living room I’m left with my thoughts, unsure as I was before our conversation.

A herd? Yeah no, maybe when I’ve become one with the pony culture. I guess I’m gonna have to just choose one

So I’m left with a decision, a tough one at that. Do I go with Twilight? Our time together would be fun and filled with all types of wacky magic shit not including the whole friendship brigade. What about our shared interests? Both enjoy quality indoor time, enjoy nerdier things. Also there’s her character, always wanting to help out even if things are bleak. She’s a wonderful pony and awfully cute with her quirky behavior.

What about Pinkie? Her infection like energy, care for others, and over all impact on Ponyville is undeniable. She’s likely the best pony character wise of all the girls and seems to be similar to me in the way we hide our pain. She cares too much about others even to worry about herself. It’s so amendable, perhaps I should be her one to pay back all the love she’s gave and more. She’s deserving, undeniably cute, and funny. I owe her my life as well...

Then there’s Luna, elegant and beautiful. Not only does she seem to be more carefree around me, she even puts down her princess appearance giving me her true self. She’s really a small pony with a light purple coat, lighter than her dark purple princess form. I’d only see her that way a few times. She’s trustworthy, dependable, and protecting. Always willing to listen to what I have to say and give me her own wise words of advice. Out of the options she’s the most relatable as well, our feelings the same around other ponies. That we are outcasts compared to others but whole when together. I’d spent the least amount of time with her but found myself the most intrigued... although it could be from our lack of time together.

All three options are valid and well deserving but which of the three wants me? I never even considered the burden I bring, the pain I cause. Maybe I shouldn’t get involved with anypony at all. Could I ask Twilight to put up with me more than I’ve already asked of her? Could I ask more of Pinkie, the one who’s helped me the most through my sickness? Could I ask for a princess to put up with me along with her royal duties and busy schedule?

This would be all unfair to decide now given the current advantages Pinkie carries, I should at least clear things with Luna first before I make a choice.

Now with a firm timetable of when I’ll make a decision, I can move my whole focus onto the real problem at hand, getting into that library. Scratching my head, I struggle to find a way to convince Luna to help. Perhaps she might assist me due to her little crush but she might ask for a reward, either way I have to be prepared. I really don’t feel like going all that way just to fail and head back home empty handed. Now that I think about it, I don’t even know how far Canterlot is! All I asked Twi was if her and the girls could find time for a trip to Canterlot for the weekend and she said she’ll handle the rest.

It was surprising to see how easy they all could find time given their busy schedules, especially now knowing it’s the week after Hearths Warming. Maybe I should get them all gifts for coming...

A click at the door of the lock moving draws me from my thoughts. Swinging open to show the culprit it’s none other than my Pink roommate. Before I can ask how her day went I’m able to make a good assumption given her condition. Her mane is frizzled and messy, dough plastered and fluffed across her coat. Her eyes heavy and tired, worn from a busy day at the corner. Soon as she notices my stare however, she shines me a bright smile as if nothing is wrong.

“Hiya Joey! How’d your day with Dashie go? Did she make you watch over the crusaders cause I heard from AppleJack that it was her day to watch over them and I know how Dashie doesn’t like babysitting!” She trots over after dropping her bag near the door.

“We watched em some, built some ‘snow ponies’, and went to some new restaurant to eat... I’m sure you’ve heard about it, it’s close to your work”

“Oh yeah, Romero’s! I really wanted to go there! Can we go there sometime Joey? Please please please please!” She rushes over to plead with me, eyes sparkling like a cartoonish puppy.

“Put those things away!” I motion to her eyes. “And of course we can go just... stop with the eyes”

She hops up in joy, “Yessss oh it’s like our first date together! We can hold hooves and kiss afterwards and-“

“Alright professor perv, let’s chill out with all the hardcore love talk”

She giggles and sits next to the couch on the floor, my sprawled out form prevents any room to sit. Knowing she could use a recharge and is waiting for one, I scoop her up and hug her against myself. Visually we’re pretty much spooning, Pinkie of course the little spoon. The way we rest, my head lay on a pillow while Pinkies head lay on my arm. She coos against the warmth and firm hold, loving every second of Joey cuddles.

“I could get used to this..” she whispers.

“What are you talking about? You cuddle me like everyday” I twirl her mane into knots with my finger.

Giggling she responds, “I guess your right, hehe” then snuggles into me deeper. “Today was super busy, we had a bunch of ponies making orders for Hearths Warming... are you coming to Twilights to celebrate with us? Have you picked a name yet?”

“One question at a time pink. Um.. yea I’d like to come but no, I haven’t gotten a name yet”

“Well you better make sure you get one soon! Otherwise you’ll miss out, plus with you we can have a even number of eight ponies this year including Spike of course” she lets out a big yawn.

“Oh by the way, Dash is in the guest room completely passed out, did you know she was such a lightweight when it came to drinking?”

“Even though she’s a awesome cool pony, she doesn’t normally drink unless it’s Aj’s cider” she closes her eyes, prepping for a nap.

I continue to play with her mane with my right arm, the left still under use as a pillow. “And Aj’s cider it was, drank the whole damn bottle”

Laying in silence for a few minutes, I notice Pinkies breathing slowing down, her body still and limp against me. She’s my little pony pillow now, all cute and snuggly. Wow I can’t believe I just thought that.

As I lay my eyes start to get heavy, the crackling of the fire along with Pinkies warm presence lulls me to sleep. It’s not until a stumbling Dash trips over Pinkies bag at the door do I stir awake. She lets out a small oof and tumbles into the door face first.

“Oof... ow, that bucking hurt!” Her whisper is loud and coarse.

Blinking I look around me for the disturbance, “Who wha- the fuck is going on?” I whisper aloud unsure of the cause.

“Argh, it’s me Dash... I tripped over this stupid bag you got near the door! Why did-“

“Dash Pinkie is out cold and just got back from a long day alright? So either keep it down or head home.... as long as you feel good enough too” I can’t help but add the last part, feeling like I came off to harshly.

“Eee yikes, alright I’ll go but if you got any more of Aj’s cider can you-“

“Dash!”

“All right all right jeez I’m going” she sticks her tongue out at me and heads out into the night.

“Ugh, what a turd” I get up some to see if Pinkies still asleep, completely unconscious. “I know right? What a big bully” I give my best whispering Pinkie impression.

“Hmhm.... warm Joey” she murmurs lightly in her sleep. Yep that’s me! I brush her mane with my hand gently as to not wake her. She’s so tired, must’ve been a tough day if she’s this beat. The scent of baking goods has surrounded me completely, overwhelming the senses. I almost feel like I’m in a kitchen baking a cake just being around Pinkie, we should both take a shower after this.

Instead of washing our smelly bodies off, the pleasuring sensation currently engulfing me would argue to wait some time, and I would agree. I settle for going back to sleep until Pinkie wakes up, pulling her close with a squeeze. She gives a cute squeak and coos like a cat, she might have even purred. Even though her incredible adorableness is distracting, the comfort of the situation is more than enough to put me out again.

Sadly Luna misses this opportunity to meet as well, whether it be because she’s busy or avoiding me it doesn’t matter. I’m left with an empty experience without dream, like transporting myself into the future. I pry my eye open a little, my vision still filled with Pink. Her coat is much darker now given the time pass, night clearly upon us.

“Pinkie, you awake?”

“...hmm no” she groans.

“We gotta get you in the bath smelly”

“I’m not smelly, I’m... Pinkie” she seems like like she’s falling back to sleep.

“I know your tired but cmon” I go to get up but she won’t budge, holding my arm pinned beneath her. It’s filled with tingles from numbness, her head weighing just enough to cut the circulation.

“No, Pinkie no move. Pinkie sleep”

“Pinkieeeee, I can’t feel my arm. Let’s go”

“You don’t need your arm, you can just... grow another one”

Unfortunately for the both of us, someone has to be the adult and I feel obligated this time to play the role. I get up scooping her over my shoulder as I walk, she swings her tail into my face.

“Pfft, hey can you not”

“Bad Joey! Pinkie needs more sleep not clean” I can’t see her face but judging by her voice she’s clearly sporting puffed cheeks.

The visual in my head makes me chuckle. Rounding the corner I place her down next to me beside the tub and run the water. She immediately wraps herself into a ball, her tail protecting the front of her face. I have to light some candles in order see given the rooms darkness. Thankfully Equestria’s candles all carried magical enhancements making them light much better than what I’m accustomed to, a true god send.

Once I’ve felt like the tub is filled enough with a reasonable temperature I poke Pinkie with my finger to wake her. “All right let’s go, I got it all to your liking now get in”

“No! I refuse!”

“Pinkie stop acting like a baby and get in!”

“Nope” she shakes her head, “Only if you get in with me”

“What? Fuck no! There’s no bubbles! I can’t hide my unpleasantly pale skin from you. You might go blind”

“I’ve already seen you all naked, who cares”

“No you saw my upper half, I’m completely uncomfortable with this situation given the lack of privacy”

“But ponies are naked all the time and you don’t say anything to us”

“Yea cause it’s different okay! Humans aren’t comfortable being seen naked and in case you haven’t realized, I’m a human!”

“What if I don’t look? I’ll face the other way the whole time Joey, I just wanna cuddle in the bath! Come on you’ll like it”

I’m blushing incredibly hard at this point, very uncomfortable with the way this situation has unfolded. “Pinkie, I’m r-really uncomfortable right now”

The change in my voice snaps her awake looking to me with concern, “Oh I’m sorry Joey! I didn’t mean to... I’m really sorry I forgot about the whole..” she reaches out to touch my shoulder.

I shift away from her embarrassed, “I’m sorry... I’ll go no” and at that I turn away leaving the bathroom.

After reaching the bedroom, the air seems to feel colder and light. I realize that I’ve been squeezing my arm the entire time so hard that I’d broken the skin with my nails. Frowning I wipe off the blood with a tissue.

Why am I like this? Why can’t I just loosen up? I said I’d try to be better and here I am acting all scared again like Pinkies gonna take advantage of me. What kind of friend am I for not trusting her?

Beginning to panic I face the decision to go back and apologize, joining her in the bath. It’s frightening for an odd reason, my own body refusing to react in sync with my mind. It takes a sudden push to will me back to the bathroom, my heart racing as I reach the door. It’s not closed all the way allowing me to hear a noise from within. It sounds like.. sniffling?

“Really did it this time Pinkie... always being so selfish! *sniff* Bad ponies shouldn’t ask for more than they deserve. *sniff* I should’ve stayed at the farm... stupid selfish Pinkie. Always hurting others for myself and now he probably hates me” the sadness in her voice tears at my heart.

Placing my hand on the door I hesitate for a moment. Taking a deep breath I push it open to see her still out of the tub with her hooves in her face. She doesn’t look up to acknowledge me.

“Pinkie... I’m really sorry, I shouldn’t have done that” she doesn’t move so I move over to sit next to her. “I get really scared sometimes when I remember that day and I’m really trying to be better”

“I hurt you” her voice is low and pained. Tears drip onto the floor beneath her.

“No no no, it wasn’t that bad Pinkie I promise! I mean see? I’m here right now am I? How about we take that bath together?”

“I don’t deserve you” she pulls her hooves away allowing me to see her face. She’s flushed with tears streaming down her face, eyes without their normal shine.

“Please Pinkie I’m okay! Everything is okay!”

She slowly turns toward my direction with a stare that pierces through me, “I won’t be bad anymore I promise, I’ll be a good pony. I swear I will” she pleads through tears. “I don’t need anything okay? Just let me help you and I’ll be okay”

She moves over to hug me, wiping her face across my shirt. This is all too familiar, just like my last relationship. Sadly Ive experienced something like this before already, allowing me to know exactly what to do. Returning the hug I whisper to her, “Pinkie it’s okay, I’m here and I’ll always be here no matter what. Your not a bad pony and you didn’t do anything wrong... I love you”

It slips out of my mouth instinctively. I don’t even realize what I’ve said until only a few seconds later, unsure of what I had done.

“Stop please... don’t say anything you don’t mean... I don’t... just please stop worrying about me” she sobs. I can’t possibly bail out now.

I squeeze her tighter against me, “I love you, I promise. I love you Pinkie and you can’t stop me from helping you because Its what I want to do”

She shakes her head no, “No you don’t your just saying that! I’m a terrible pony I know I am! Nopony would want to put up with me!”

“Shhh shhh shh” I caress her mane with my hand, wrapping her with my arm. “I Pinkie promise you I’m not going anywhere”

She pulls her head up to face me distraught with emotion, “I...” she unable to say anything before moving back into my hug crying. While she lets it all out I’m left with my thoughts.

What did I just do? I said I’d talk with Luna first! Fuck I had no choice!

She continues to cry for a few minutes only to settle down against me exhausted. Funny enough it’s almost like the roles are reversed compared to a few weeks ago. “I’m sorry”

I hug her tight, letting her know I heard. “Your fine Pinkie”

“We should... I should probably clean up. I’ll let you go now”

“Hold up now, didn’t you hear me earlier? I said I’d join you”

“Joey your really don’t have to I understand-“

“Turn the other way, I gotta strip”

She blushes and quickly faces away from me, placing a hoof in the tub before stopping. “Um... it’s a little cold now”

Fast forwarding ahead til we refilled the bath, it’s now reheated state gives off a light fog above its surface. The mirror within the room was fogged as well, humidity filling the room. Pinkie now faces away from me in the tub on the opposite end, her blush bright enough to be seen from the side.

Stripping down, I place my foot in first to test the water. It’s a perfect temperature although closer to the hotter end, likely enough to make me sweat. There’s a pit in my stomach that eats away, a nervousness at the vulnerability. She could easily flip around and admire my bare figure, possibly even- NO, no. Pinkie wouldn’t do that.

Shaking my head I fully enter the tub, sitting awkwardly in a criss cross pattern to avoid wrapping Pinkie up in my legs. Even though the tubs width is larger than normal, the length still wouldn’t the enough for me to stretch out my legs without touching Pinkie, it’s a predicament. Unwilling to voice my discomfort, Pinkie takes the initiative noticing that I would have to be positioned strange to fit behind her.

“Hey you can straighten your legs Joey, it’s not like I haven’t seen them before”

“I guess but I kinda feel... exposed without them close to me”

“I won’t turn around”

Hesitating I eventually submit, letting my legs straighten out around her. She places her hooves on top of both of them for balance, she’s sitting near the middle of the tub without any real support.

That must be uncomfortable

“Pinkie I can... maybe wash your back or something so your not just leaning up like that”

She lowers her head likely embarrassed, “That would be n-nice” she shivers from her upper half being mostly out of the warm water, it’s height reaching around her waist as she sat there. It also didn’t really help she was lifting herself up using my legs.

“Okay um, do you mind scooting a little closer?” She obliges but barely moves from her original spot. “Little closer” she moves again much further this time and now within range.

My face is incredibly hot and it’s not from the water. The combination of the two issues has however led to me sweating, I wipe my brows and wash my hands in the water.

“T-this close enough?”

“Yea... also why are you so nervous right now, this was your idea”

Normally she would giggle at a time like this but the earlier experience must still be effecting her. “Sorry, I didn’t expect you to agree” My already blushing face seems to light afire.

“Isn’t this normal with ponies or something?”

“Um... I guess with foals... or couples” she seems to shrink into her shoulders.

“Great so just as awkward as it would be on Earth, I’ll just start now” shaking my head in disappointment.

“Okay” she gives a small nod.

Shakily I cup some water into my hand and spill it down her back, her fur flattens against its flow. For some reason I expected her to flinch, forgetting that the warm water likely feels good against the cold air circulating through my home. Cup after cup I cover her coat with water before getting my own hands involved. I reach over grabbing some shampoo and work it into her fur. She starts leaning into my massaging hands, giving small sighs of satisfaction. While still embarrassed, the longevity of our moment seems to settle me down some. Some time after washing her coat from behind she seems to tense up.

“I have to wash my front half now so I’ll handle this myself”

“Yea that sounds like a good idea”

Grabbing the shampoo bottle she works her own coat with her hooves while I lean back into the wall next to the tub. Closing my eyes I enjoy the warmth and smells surround me, attempting to calm myself down to enjoy the peace. I’m left with nothing but the light sounds of splashing water with a sudden giggle. I peek open an eye to see what she could be laughing about.

“Ya know it’s kinda funny that I’m fine with being all naked around town but for some reason right now it feels kinda weird!”

“Now your starting to get what I mean, like who wants anyone to know what their privates look like?”

“But you never see any pony parts do you? See we’re careful!”

“I’m sure if I wanted to I easily could catch a glimpse I mean are you kidding me? All you got is a tail back there and half the time it’s swishing around! Hell I can’t imagine how hard it is to hide a fucking stiffy when your a stallion”

Without thinking Pinkie leans back into me with her back against my bare body. I freeze solid.

“Hehe yea stallions sometimes have some accidents I guess but that’s so rare I mean how often do... you...” she slowly looks up to my face with fear.

“Pinkie... you really need to move” I ask facing away, my face pale with fear.

Quickly she moves away rubbing her foreleg with a hoof, “I’m really really sorry Joey” she says with a panic. “I didn’t mean to do that I just forgot where we were and... please don’t be mad at me”

Awkwardly enough my body seemed to enjoy the sudden contact, a certain friend down below stirring awake. The pale look across my face is replaced with a blush. Perhaps the time being so distant since my last consensual experience, my body is much quicker to ready. I can only hope things don’t get any worse in this department, I’d rather not add sexual frustration to my list of problems.

“I’m not mad... just really embarrassed”

“I didn’t feel anything I swear! And I don’t mean that in a way like there was anything to feel. Like I’m not saying your small or-“

“Pinkie! I get it, drop it please”

“Yep okie dokie!”

Letting out a big sigh I grab the shampoo and begin washing my own hair. After this I grab a bar of soap and start to work away at the Pinkie smell rubbed all over me, the smell so familiar it’s now tattooed into my brain. Eventually I hit a roadblock realizing that I can’t reach my entire back.

“Pinkie can you uh, get my back? Wait til I’ve turned around first though!”

“Okay not a problem!”

Spinning around I now leave myself at the mercy of our pervy pink friend behind me. Grabbing the soap I reach backwards and hand it to her without any unfortunate drops. Patiently I wait for her touch, still surprised somewhat when she finally does start. The soap is pressed firmly against my back along with a hoof for balance, her pattern in circular motions. Eventually switching to two hooves, placing the soap down. She continues to coat my back with a sense of gentle care while I remain flustered at the action but, nonetheless enjoy. Once finished with soaping me up, she begins pouring water to wash it all off. I’m surprised at the amount she’s able to scoop with her hoof.

“Are you? Are you using a little bucket or something? How are you cupping all that water with your hooves?”

“Oh I’m using my little bathing bucket for when I wash myself! It’s super duper helpful!”

“How come I was made unaware of this? I didn’t even have to use my hands earlier did I?”

“Hehe yea I guess not... but you were super good! I’d say even better than my bathing bucket!” Cheerfulness practically beams into me from behind.

“Your an absolute perv, I mean like Peppy Le Pew level preventiveness. An expert pervert, carrying your doctorate in perving”

“I am not! Most ponies would be much more naughty in situations like this and I feel like I’ve done a pretty good job at behaving!” I can visualize the face she makes while saying this, likely pouting. “And... after what you said earlier it shouldn’t really bother you..”

“I do love you Pinkie but can we wait a little longer before we start assuming it’s that kinda love? I mean haven’t you heard of family love or brotherly love, like any kind of other love?”

“Are you family zoning me?”

“Please don’t make it seem weird Pinkie, this ain’t Alabama. Also I’d like to see one thing first before I make up my mind so pretend we’re on pause for right now”

“You did say you love me though”

Shyly I play with the water in front of me, “Yes I did”

“Eeeee! Say it again! Say it again!” She splashes the water behind me in excitement.

“No and I just said it might not be that kind of love! It came out instinctively okay! I... I need a little more time to think. I’ll give you an answer after our trip to Canterlot okay?”

“Ooookaaayyy but I know the answer already. Big Joey likes Pinkie and that means Pinkie gonna get all the kisses and she won’t even have to ask!”

“Perv!”

Her giggles fill the room while she finishes up washing my back. “Okie dokie I’m all finished up! How about you get out first and dry off cause you’ll be quicker then me. I’ll follow you after”

“Sounds like a plan”

I don’t have to ask her to face the other way, turning to see she’s already spun around. Getting up I dry off and quickly clothe myself, heading out the bathroom with a blush still across my face.

Holy shit I survived that

Still feeling hot, I settle for laying on top of the covers rather than below. Minutes go by before I feel cooled off, at the same time Pinkie happens to finish up and heads into my room joining me on the bed. Instantly she molds herself into my side with a smile, rubbing her face into my arm. By now I’m completely exhausted from keeping my composure in there, the battle heavily weighed against me from the start. From where I lay now I can proudly say I did survive though against Pinkies perverse attacks.

“Thank you for putting up with me” Pinkies voice comes from below with a tinge of sadness. I wrap an arm around her for support.

“I should be saying the same thing to you”

We meet each other’s gaze with a smile, her eyes seem to glisten against the moonlight. Something deep within me stirs, a compelling feeling to kiss her now, a want.

“Can we... um” she fiddles with her hoof. “Can I kiss you?”

The emotions within me run haywire, her request in line with this new feeling. I’m uncertain on how to deal with this.

“Sure but just a peck okay?”

She nods and thankfully does just that. If she had tried for more I was unsure if I could stop myself. As reward for granting her request, I’m given a large toothy smile and a hug.

“I love you” she says with a muffled voice, low and intimate.

“Love you too you little poop now let’s get some shut-eye”

“You love poop?”

“Goodnight Pinkie”

“Hehe goodnight!”