It was quite a normal day for the ponies. Birds were singing, flowers were blooming, and on days like these Goji couldn't come up with anything to say than quotes from Sans.

Goji was simply just bored as fu-

Ahem, ahem. Frick.

Suddenly, an idea sprang up in his mind. This story had a Random tag. He could do anything he wanted. He could abuse this story with absolutely NO consequences whatsoever, because things that are random are random, and God forbid a story with a random tag make sense!

With his fourth wall powers he set the chapter to non-canon so that everyone would still be safe, and then proceeded to cause chaos even Discord wouldn't match up to.

He needed to warm up first. So he went to the Cutie Mark Crusaders and just said something completely out of the blue.

"So, this guy named Noah, he used all his fight money to buy two out of every single animal, herded them into a boat, and BEAT THE CRAP OUT OF EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM."

"Uh, ok?" Scootaloo said in response.

Goji then spawned an elytra and fireworks, jumped off a conveniently-placed cliff, named the Non Canon Convenient Rift, and flew to the next random spot.

He knew that something was keeping him from teleporting home, but he could still teleport to any other dimension if he so pleased. So he teleported to Spinel and asked if he could use her injector.

"But it blew up-" Spinel began.

"Do you have another?" Goji pressed on.

"I'm pretty sure you can make things out of thin air."

"I'm just joking, don't worry about it. This was all for a reference."

Goji teleported out.

Little did the two know the Diamonds were present (how? I don't know, this is random tag abuse), and they were gonna have a few questions about Goji for our poor Spinel.

Goji, back in Ponyville, then created a fake injector and sucked in some harmless liquid to the ground. That said, though, it definitely still freaked out the ponies.

Goji then proceeded to yell/sing, "THAT'S RIGHT I HEARD THE STORY OVER AND OVER AGAIN!"

Space then appeared and said "Goji, what the HELL are you doing?!"

"Do not engage in fear, brother! This is all non-canon!"

"Oh. Okay."

Space turned to a concerned Bio that had just arrived.

"Don't worry, it's all non-canon," he said.

"Phew. Thank God he hasn't snapped from those insane adventures," Bio replied.

"Who's God?!" A random filly asked whilst running away from the injector.

Goji laughed maniacally, then made the injector disappear and flew off somewhere else.

Celestia and Luna attempted to stop him at some point in this chapter but...

"BY THE POWER OF THE RANDOM TAG!" Goji yelled. "YOU SHALL FALL IN THE MOST RIDICULOUS, HILARIOUS, AND HUMILIATING WAY POSSIBLE!"

Celestia and Luna were then transported to the universe of Attack on Titan, where they were then attacked by Levi Ackerman fans in the midst of the Battle for Trost District, who mistook the two sisters for Titans...somehow.

Goji then went to time travel and casually bonked Cozy Glow, Chrysalis, and Tirek with a 10-foot titanium bar. He proceeded to go through a nearby rift through space-time to return to the present, leaving three confused villains in his wake. Said trio was then swarmed by every creature in Equus.

Goji, due to overthrowing Sunbutt and Moonbutt, then became a tyrant lizard king. No, not that one, a literal tyrant lizard king.

Starlight Glimmer decided to have a few words with him. But instead, Goji waved her off.

"So, you're approaching me?" Goji taunted. "Instead of running away like a pony that actually has common sense, you still dare to come at me? Even after I showed all you stupid miniature jackasses the power of my SUTANDO?"

Starlight proceeded to summon her own Stand (how the hell did she get one?! Oh, wait, nevermind) and replied, "I can't beat the shit out of you without getting closer."

"Ho ho! Then come as close as you like!"

They then beat each other up. Even with how powerful Starlight was, especially with her new Stand, all it took for Goji to beat her was a simple smack with his Stand, Muscle Mothra.

A few hours later, the Mane 6 came to see Goji doing...

"I'm gonna easily snap your neck," Goji said whilst doing the very action at some poor pony. "Now I'm gonna easily snap your neck."

He turned to the Mane 6. "Now I'm gonna e-"

"Now hold yer gosh darn horses there, pal!" Applejack said indignantly. "Ah remember clearly we six are the main characters here!"

"So proud," Pinkie gushed. The fourth wall lessons had finally paid off.

Goji sighed. "I'm gonna throw you, and monologue about how you can never defeat me..."

He then allowed the Mane 6 to blow him up with those rainbow power things they had when fighting Tirek. His last words were...

"And then let you defeat me."

Goji was back in that black void he went to whenever he "died." Luckily, he had set a SAVE right after he set things to non-canon, and he remembered everything. He pressed "Continue."

Goji was back where he started. He checked how long it would be before he could set the universe back to canon.

"Two hours?!" He said indignantly. In his outrage, Goji then proceeded to close up the fourth wall so we wouldn't invade his privacy. And thaaaat's the way the news goes!

"Hey! Narrator!" Goji fumed whilst opening the fourth wall back up. "Shut the fu- I mean, buck up and stop making 'Rick and Morty' references! It doesn't make you sound any smarter or magically get an impossible amount of IQ, nor can it only be understood by people with said amount of IQ!"

Hello. I am the temporary second narrator here due to the fact that the other and Goji are arguing. Should we check up on someone whilst waiting for them to finish?

The narrator takes your hand and whisks you to Bio's room.

"Get out of my room!" The plant kaiju screeches. "I'm playing Minecraft!"

I don't have time for this. I'll excuse myself out. Hopefully the other one and the lizard have finished their arguing. And hopefully your brain hasn't died from reading whatever this...THING...is.

Author's Note

Welcome to Random Fun Facts, putting boring educational value into what would've been a fun story. Twilight, may you read?
Twilight would've read it, but she got stuck on pronunciation. Let me just tell you it myself.
It is unknown whether Saurophaganax maximus is its own genus or simply another species of Allosaurus.
Thank you for taking time to insert information you didn't need into your head.