Chapters

Prologue | A Fear of Intimacy
I | Confession in the Bedroom
II | Leading Him Through It
III | Together in Bed
IV | You Don't Blow in a Blowjob
IV | Advice from an Ex
V | So Long! But I Must Be Going
VI | To See Him Leave
VII | I Love You
Epilogue | The Difference Between Hell and Heaven

Prologue | A Fear of Intimacy
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Heated Into Weakness

Prologue | A Fear of Intimacy

Heated Into Weakness
B_25

Twilight wished for a railing, something to clutch to support herself, unable to walk straight due to the sway in her hips. Thighs ground into each other to snuff the temperature between. She'd been thankful for the dress. The excuse to wear underwear. Yet the heat washed on and rolled off her easily.

Don't panic. Don't panic now. There is no reason to panic.

Around her loomed the dimness of the hall as it spanned forever ahead. Its exit was bathed in white from the light of the connecting room. Cameras already flashing with their snapping, echoing. Her foreleg wrapped around her belly as one of her eyes shut. She could blow any second.

It's just cameras, Twilight. Cameras! They're nothing to be scared about! You've fought villains! This is nothing! Just flashing thingies that print a picture of you afterward. Big deal! You've had photos taken of you all the time! Why is suddenly a CROWD of ponies... taking.... oh dear.

Twilight wobbled in place, and the lean of each diverted her balance. Forelegs crossed to catch her weight until she slunk into place. Chest pressed to the ground and rump held in the air. It'd been to cover the shame of her face.

Until the mare was well aware of the bobbing to her plot. How it waved left and right to the shifting of her flanks. That article between them had been stretched, digging into herself, coarse fabric, rubbing, in all the places that needed the attention.

There was an urge to shove a hoof back there.

And then.

"Twilight Sparkle will be with us shortly to answer questions on the soon-possibility of assuming Princess Celestia's and Luna's roles in governing Equestria!" That voice billowed from the end of the hall and shocked Twilight to her hooves. She shot up straightly, flinching into stillness, everything taut around her hindquarters. "I understand she will arrive momentarily! Please hold all questions until that point."

Her muzzle scrunched into itself, and her eyes tightened in needing to face her soon-to-be subjects. Yet, the heat between her legs held her back. It was impossible. Already soaked was she as heated tickles nipped at her fuzzier lips. Swollen and pulling for attention. Licks or thrusts of satisfaction.

Y-You need to face them! You need to overcome... w-whatever this is for the sake of Equestria! How do you think Princess Celestia would react to this? Unable to attend a basic press conference b-because you're l-l-leaking between the legs.

Her heart caught still.

Celestia! What WOULD Celestia think of this?! Would she be upset? Think she picked the wrong pony for the job? She's probably NEVER been through something like this before! I-If she ever learned about this.

The world was coming to an end. Everypony was about to learn Twilight's little secret. She was going to appear on that stage, and, at once, they were going to discover the horny mare underneath it. They would be curious about the wet spot at the back of her dress and the overall smell in the air.

The discord it would cause! The looks of ponies knowing that the replacement to their princess was going into such incompetent hooves! A mare unable to handle the affair of basic sexual urges. Never had there been a scandal in anything sexual related to Celestia. And now. Here was Twilight. Ready to break the image of what it meant to be a princess.

D-Don't lose yourself! They're expecting you! There's no way they'll know right away! M-Maybe you'll find a way to blame the smell on something else! Compose yourself. T-They won't know if you compose yourself well enough! O-Of course. You'll know all those photos were of you when you were wet underneath that dress b-b-b—

Twilight huffed and whimpered and laid her thickly rump on the ground. Two cheeks compressing and spreading with a tickle of them meshing into the sides of her bulging vulva. Her hoof inched back there. Pussy pleading to be teased. Rub one out. Allow the burning to end. Earn some composure to do the interview well.

I-I can't.

Her hoof went to her tail instead, stroking across it, needing to do so—or something else would be stroked instead. It helped calm her down. Usually, she'd go into an attack and, suddenly, the sensation of her tail being brushed would bring her back from that anxious place.

Spike's not here. He hasn't been here for a long time. Not since when Rarity and he got together and... stopped being together. Princess Celestia was able to rule without Luna for a thousand years. You n-need to become like that. S-So... stop t-thinking with your p-p-privates... and...

Twilight couldn't do it. She needed that external comfort. That assurance.

Then his voice floated into her ears.

"Public speaking? But you've already got that in the bag! Just pretend you're the greatest, and you know what you're talking about. Since you are the greatest, and know what you're talking about, you don't really have to pretend! But it makes it easier somehow."

Twilight stopped stroking her tail and looked to the end of the hall. Silence had come from there. Little creaks of wood to the occasional hoof step. They were ready. Which meant everyone was waiting on her; nervousness melted into lava as it pumped throughout her nerves.

"You shouldn't do it too much. But pretend to be whatever it is you need to be. Soon enough, you'll actually become that. Or something like that. Pretending to be more leads you onto the path of becoming more of that thing. Maybe it's because you're pretending to be something, you get the experience of being that thing, which then causes you not to pretend anymore? Something like that? I dunno."

Twilight found a heart in that. In the way Spike's rambles sometimes found unexpected meaning. It was in his foolishness that the mare found wisdom for herself. Right now, she needed to be the girl that, while not the calibre of The Royal Sisters, was worthy of taking their place.

As she was.

A lie she would have to sell them.

She began to saunter out from the dimness of the hall, slowly but surely, her weak spine, pushing out and up, barely holding the form of one proud and strong. Her heartbeat was felt in her step as a nerve felt pinched every time. Everything felt manageable, though. The ability to hold herself together for a moment before collapsing afterward for an hour.

It was in this fashion she left the darkness of the hall, where she had been safe, and into the light, the immediacy of flashes greeting her into the room. The wooden podium had doors on its sides with guards suited below the platform.

So long as she did not turn or move, eyes closed and steam exhaled, Twilight would be alright. That was until her eyes opened to the scene of the room. Rows of seats spanning the conference housed reporters and citizens and royalty alike.

And most bore a change of expression after the princess had entered. Twilight looked to the sides to see the windows had been left open. Sizzling coming from the sky beyond as the sun seemed closer than the clouds. Down below were the ponies. Most with their muzzles up. Snouts sniffing to the peculiarities of a smell.

Rich and musky.

Twilight froze. Mouth open and chest unable to repress the beating of her heart. The aroma was of her, and of that, she was sure. Unsated lust set to bust her reputation as a princess. Humiliation captured for the papers and the redness of her expression perfect for the countless mocked paintings—and quotes—that would follow this moment.

She stepped forward to offer a lie. Tide over the crowd, somehow, to an explanation. Nothing of the sort was needed, however, as stallions turned their muzzles to the accompanying mare. Eyebrows rising everywhere. All set on each other, shame racing to them, none daring to place a glare on the princess.

For none would expect it to come from her.

And with that, and with a racing heart, Princess Twilight Sparkle spoke, without a stutter and solid shoulder, to start the conference. Inside. She trembled. Outside though, she sold an air of coolness and, coming to bask in that herself, felt herself more at ease.

"C'mon... please... please!"

Water cascaded down her form as she stood on both legs, one foreleg pressed into the wall to support herself. Her slick mane clung to the curve of her shoulder and the same true to her back. Steam whispered upward as a hoof stroked down between her legs.

Twilight whimpered and shut her eyes from behind densely wet bangs. Her hoof ground into her clit and drew all the little circles it could please. But it wasn't enough. Never enough to hit that mark. Inside she was contracting. Bounding tighter in that sensitive need to be spread.

Another hopeless cry escaped her lips at the idea of such a thing. Nearly broken into tears as this part of her was something left unexplored. She'd never been that close with a boy. Rarely had a fantasy of thick and round thing filling her special place entered her mind. It didn't seem like her.

"...enough..." Twilight sighed and cried and leaned her forehead into the wall. Tears burned the corners of her eyes in joining the streams of water pouring through her. Weakness became her. "No more of this. I don't want any more of this. Please... just... just go away!"

Her head launched off the wall to shout those last words. They thundered as anger powered them. Yet their leaving only made her weaker. Her forehead slammed back into the place in needing the support again.

Teasing and pleasing had ceased to be enough. No amount of toys could hit the desired joy. It wasn't enough to stroke herself. To rub her belly in all the places and work downward. The stallions in those magazines didn't hit the mark. No spicy story lent from Rarity charging an allure that made her want more. All her usual sources of pleasure had become depleted.

She wanted to finish and be done with this orgasm but, no matter what she did, could not bring it on. The water continued to pour, and she hated herself forevermore. Even in closing her eyes, that conference came to mind. Answering questions as the room baked in her musk. Photos of her delivering a speech hiding the state she was in underneath it all.

Twilight opened her eyes and breathed through her mouth. She panted. Not knowing what else to do. Lazily her gaze settled on the handle, and she turned that with a hoof. She stood in the steam, still weak—but feeling clean.

There'd been cause to look over her back to her rump. The subtle development of her flanks as they became globes of lavender. Bubbly and jiggly and sensitive to the lightest sensation. They were a constant tease in wanting to be played with. Touched and kneaded and pried. Snaking back a hoof to one, she hugged the mass, the heated squish mounting into her wrist. Pulling away her arm allowed the soft weight to fly into its sister, smacking as the two wobbled from the impact, bouncing, a quiver and jiggle, until steadying.

It pleased her. It was a hint to that which she wanted. Playing with her ass to the power it possessed was a spark to pleasure that could lead to more. But a frown had found her lips. Never would she have cared for her rump long ago. Much less use it to win over some boy.

A boy?

Twilight blinked at that development. It made sense. Part of the reason for having a nice derriere was to attract a member of the opposite sex. Heat really was internal motivation to have a kid. But Twilight shook her head. Both of those were far further than she ever hoped to go.

But right now... the fantasy of being with another... someone to be back there... it drove her bottom lip to be bit. Even as her forelegs clopped onto the porcelain of the tub, her eyes focused on her behind, wiggling it a later, watching how the bubbly cheeks rubbed and ground into the other. It was like a wave. While she didn't get a great kick out of it, Twilight sensed the potential of getting a lot out of that.

N-No! What is wrong with you! Thinking that far ahead AGAIN! Why are you...

Twilight sighed and stumbled and smacked down on her rump in the tub. So much thinking and feeling that it had depleted her. Barely anything remained in the tank, and problems kept the same. She was looking for more. That much was sure. Though it shamed her to think that, really, her desire was to be pinned down and fucked and be done with it.

And she was too mentally drained to be shamed by that notion.

There came a knock at the door.

"Twilight?"

Twilight roused from herself at the sound. She dipped into the tub, and seconds later, her muzzle cutely peeked out from its rim. Of course, her ass was backed into the other side due to the shortness of the space. "U-Um... yes!"

"I'm back home again today." That voice. One of a male. Soft and comforting as it was reassuring. It hadn't been heard in quite some time. "We ended up being ahead of schedule in finishing the harvest. Don't think I'll be able to find work for a few days. So please don't be scared if you catch me in the halls."

Twilight rose out of the tub with a huff as all thoughts of dangers were beyond her. "Spike... you do know you live here, right?"

There'd been the shuffling of footsteps outside the door. "I mean, well, yeah. O-Of course. J-Just not around like I usually am. Not sure if you got used to having the castle to yourself or whatever." He coughed and quickly carried on. "I've got dinner going on in the kitchen. You going to sleep after that shower? I can leave you some left-overs."

Twilight stepped over the rim of the tub and floated a towel over her barrel. It patted her dry as she walked to the mirror and sink. She turned her muzzle, examining what peeked out from below the drenched bangs. "N-No. I can be there right after this. H-Haven't seen you in a while." She looked over her shoulder to the door. "We should catch up!"

"Alright... yeah, cool!" There'd been soft chuckles barely strong to make themselves heard. "It should be fun! I saw you in the papers I picked up while leaving work." The next bout of laughter was louder as his voice quieted in turning away from the door. "You must have been constipated or something because you looked liked it in that photo they had of you."

Shivered rocked Twilight's spine upward as she yelped into a little jump. She pranced around to face the door as jitters fumbled with her hooves. "W-Was it only you who thought that?"

"Hey! How'd ya know that?" His footsteps had stopped fading from the door. "Couple of the guys I worked with said they couldn't tell. Seemed obvious to me. But everyone else called me crazy."

Twilight exhaled her tension and, in that lightness, rolled her eyes in playful mock. "That's because you are crazy, Spike."

"You know that too?"

Twilight's smirk shot right as her eyes dashed left. "I know everything about you."

Another chuckle from him. More relaxed. The feeling of strangers becoming friends again. "Guess that's what I get for telling my best friend everything. Oh well. I'll be in the kitchen. No rush or anything."

Soon his footsteps disappeared into the hall, and the mare was left to feel happy. Finally free of the turmoil that'd killed her these last few. It was strange to think how easily she could transition back into her usual self. Granted, it was only because Spike had come back, that that familiarity had helped her.

And the burning that cast fires to the furs of her vulva was still there.

Twilight turned around at that. Seeing her backside in the glass to the plump lips that peeked out from her flanks. She was hungry down there. Folds apart and her clit out. It was a bit tamer now... if only in getting used to the constant arousal.

Dinner with Spike would be more challenging, but...

But...

But Twilight blinked. Already another surge of allure had pulsated through her. Her eyes widened in the horribleness of the thought with a heartbeat belonging to one obese. Tips of hooves coming to tap incessantly on the tiles of the floor.

N-No Twilight. You can't. Something like that isn't right.

But was it really so terrible? Her hooves tittered on the ground at the faintest glimpse into the fantasy. Neck pinned into the bed by a claw as mighty hips backed into the volume of her backside? Ass and pussy, those needy things, now utterly exposed, waiting on him alone?

Twilight tittered in fear of such a thing as such prospects had never occurred to her. She looked back at her cunt, how it closed before opening, wanting something to be inside of it. Pained laughter escaped her as the desires of a usual mare never before were her own.

Except for now.

Is it because I'm becoming more of an alicorn I'm wanting all of these things? But I've... I've never had such fantasies before. I want them. Want them, if only to make this feeling go away. B-But actually going THROUGH this. I-It doesn't seem right. I want to do it... but I don't ACTUALLY want to do it.

Once more, she was a mess.

Spike had watched the food sizzle without suppressing a need to sigh. He looked around the kitchen as it was bathed in a strange familiarity. It was like being in a friend's home. Knowing where everything is and allowed to it all. But never possessing that feeling of anything being his own.

Maybe I should look for a place to rent. Something cheap and on the outskirts of town. Should have more than enough saved up for that. Maybe I could find some independent work? Something that only relies on me? Worth thinking about.

Hoofsteps clopped from behind, and the dragon endured the urge to stand up straight. He peeked an eye over his shoulder at feeling the form enter the kitchen. At once, his gasp caught inside his heart as only a choke flew from his throat. He repeatedly blinked in not expecting to see the damp beauty.

Twilight had strolled into the kitchen with a look of mild annoyance. She'd barely dried herself before leaving the bathroom. Her mane draped over her face with an eye hidden behind thick locks. The princess gave Celestia a run for her bits—without knowing.

Her muzzle peered over at him at the feeling of being looked at and, in that same motion, he returned his attention to the pan. Flicking his hips and doing the same to it. Lowering the temperature via a turn of the dial in reaching the desired shade on the food within. His claw was sent to the back of his neck to scratch.

"Sorry for barging in like this again." He stopped all the heaters and tasked his claws in removing his aprons. Relief came in able to provide a meal for the mare. Doing anything at all to avoid a feeling of uselessness. "Already thought about grabbing a place on the outskirts and thinking of a way to make bits from there. Worse case is I end up on the farm again. Or some other third thing."

There came an annoyed huff. He knew the kind. The one summoned because of someone causing matters to be more dramatic than they needed to be. He always felt dreadful because of that sigh. But there was nothing he could do in feeling like a tag-along in the mare's life. "Spike. This is your home. You can stay as long as you like."

His eyes winced for him as he turned to hang his apron on the wall. "I know I know. Just something about it doesn't seem right."

"It doesn't make a difference if you decide to live here or not." That jolted him with a cut able to slice through scales. Twilight must have realized the horribleness of her phrasing, for, in turning around, he saw her hooves wobbling before her face. "N-Not that you don't make a difference! Because of course you do! You're Spike!"

Twilight's forelegs dropped on the table and her shoulders with it. "Just that in terms of costing and convenience and everything else—you don't make any negative impact. This castle was meant to house more than one pony." She sighed. "And it's been pretty lonely since Starlight left."

Spike arched an eyebrow and pushed his lips left. "You haven't found a boy-toy yet?"

Had this been a few years ago, the mare would have cried and screamed, his name to four 'i's', to a blush and his chuckling apologies. However, because of their closeness, easily, the game was on. "But I thought that's why you ended up coming back."

Twilight propped her chin with a hoof and leaned her elbow on the table, leaning forward, a confident expression in knowing he couldn't follow through. His eyes dropped, and a chuckle escaped him. "Alright. You win. I've got nothing to say back to that."

The expectation had been for a gloat but, instead, the princess retreated back into herself. Muzzle dipped, and cheeks blushed. Something overcame her in an instant that caused her chest to puff a little much. Spike wanted to speak. But he knew a vent would come eventually.

He just wasn't expecting it as he turned and assembled the plates.

"Hey... Spike?"

He blinked and nodded and started using the wooden spoon to bring the pasta onto the waiting saucers. Once done, he reached for the shimmering sauce, a creamy delight, the scent of fresh tomatoes. "Yeah, Twilight?"

"What's the furthest you've ever gone with a mare?"

There wasn't a question that could hit the dragon harder as he leapt as though his tail had just been stepped on. He landed to a pounding heart and shaking claws that caused the sauce to stir into itself. He set it down and struggled for a breath. Laying a claw on his chest and forcing out an answer. “Dear Celestia Twilight! You can't just ask something like that! It's... it's..."

"O-Oh! I-I'm sorry! I didn't mean... well, that is to say..."

Spike clenched his eyes. Already he was making things hard for her. An outburst at a simple question that most stallions wouldn't have flinched at. Easily he hated himself—quickly working to lessen it. "No, no. Y-You're fine. Just... wasn't expecting to hear something like that."

He quickly scooped the sauce with the spoon, coming to spread it on both meals, before returning it, picking up the two, and turning to the table. Twilight sat with a muzzle turned. Her eye flicked on him as a blush washed underneath it. "Much less from somepony like you."

Her eye shot down to the table and closed a little at that.

Think I can borrow some rope from Applejack. Pretty sure she's got a spare bucket she wouldn't mind missing for a bit. Nowhere really good in the castle I could hang from. Maybe Rarity wouldn't mind if I used her boutique one final time?

"Sorry." Spike looked down as he slid the plate her way. He was still so damn awkward with stuff like this. Being around Twilight usually brought out the best in him. The most relaxed version. She was like a mirror for one never had to pretend to a reflection. "I didn't mean it like that. I... know what ponies used to say."

Twilight focused on the meal, though her eyes weren’t seeing the food. Rather she was caught inside of herself, those mental webbings she couldn't cut down alone, which needed kinds words of a friend to be with. "Do you... think I'm still like that? In a way, at least?"

"In... trying to be a virgin?" Spike shook his head violently for how tasteless that statement was. "You should never be considering that comes from a stallion who would say such a thing. You're a princess now. You should be beyond caring for what a jerk of a colt said."

Twilight's muzzle pointed down more. "But he was a normal stallion. A lot of them from back in Canterlot were. What they thought..."

"It didn't matter what they thought because they were only thinking of you from the perspective of them." He winced at saying a line, for, as it was true, someone far better, with experience and status on the subject, to be the one to comfort the mare with it. "Back then, your focus was on studying and impressing a princess. Dating wasn't your scene. Neither was friend-making."

Twilight never stopped looking between her legs as her muzzle swung in place. "But I was wrong about friends, wasn't I? If it weren't for Princess Celestia—"

"If it wasn't for Princess Celestia, deciding it was time to give you a nudge, knowing you well, then yes—maybe you wouldn't have enjoyed friends as you have." Spike nodded and laid a claw on his chest. "But you still would have had me. I would have never left you until you outgrew me."

But his eye shut on placing the focus on him again. He shook his head and at once took the seat. Twilight's head needed to lift, and it had to be done herself. He didn't want to compliment her endlessly or throw out something fake for the sake of seeing a smile.

His voice pressed in the flow of words that felt the littlest bit correct. "But Celestia knew you well enough to do what she did then. You shouldn't care about those stallions because they didn't know you well enough. You need someone to know what you're wanting overall. A friend would hear you out on that, tell you what they think... then help in what way they can."

Twilight's muzzle inched up. "Would you help me in whatever way you could?"

"Of course I would."

"No matter what?"

"Unless I thought you were making a mistake... I would probably advise you against it... then make that mistake with you." He scratched at his jaw to the growing of facial scales. Rugged in not being shaved due to the chaos of the last few days. "And for what I think? That you're more focused on becoming the princess to take over for the sisters than you are in testing the waters of the dating scene."

Twilight would retreat into herself again, but Spike grinned, already expecting this.

"But I know that, if you wanted some guy, you'd knock him dead."

Wind must have blown in the kitchen as Twilight's mane blew back as her muzzle lifted again. Finally she was facing the dragon, and a feeling of happiness was on him. It was the tired kind. Gladness for making someone else happy as the efforts to do so drained him. But it was worth it in the end.

He might have failed Rarity.

But rarely did he do so for Twilight.

If only because the demands of the mares were different.

"Spike? There's something I need to tell you... about today."

Twilight exhaled heavier than she meant to in telling the story. Cheeks coloured pink and doubling so in seeing the dragon's do the same. He listened throughout in not offering shame. Asked a few awkward questions to understand the matter better. They ate dinner without eating much of it.

"I guess.... I guess I'm sorry you have to go through all that." Spike was blinking as he had said that, across on the other side of the table, coming to cross his arms behind his head. He looked in processing all that had been said. "Though I guess that also answers a few questions I've always had."

Twilight blinked as her heart raced, and she leaned forward with an incredulous look. "And those are?"

Spike shook his head to show none had to do with her... problems. "Well. You never hear of a sex scandal with the sisters. Nobles are always caught in each other's beds. Yet nothing sexual has come up about them. I thought, maybe, that aspect of them shuts off once they get their wings or something."

That was stupid. Enough to squint the eyes really tight and call forward a harmless insult. But air caught in Twilight's lungs in refusing to make a mistake. Instead, her voice came in gentler. "That's absurd, though... isn't it?"

His gaze passed onto her for a moment, and, at once, they smitten her. Kind and bright and direct. Their glow was dimmed. Previous pains diminishing the life that once burned within them. His eyes were becoming more narrowed, focused even, ground from the harshness of life.

There was a bit of a cynic in the dragon.

But it was always buried underneath his love for jokes and gags and comic books and a thousand other things. Doing something, always, caught in a high of life. Yet that fire seemed to shrink. His kindness and innocent energy were still there. But it was decreasing. And rather quickly.

"Just because something is absurd doesn't mean it's not worth considering—either for a truth that has been missed, or the contemplation for how someone could arrive at such a thought, which allows for greater empathy." His talon wagged in the air as the words had been recited. He grinned to the point of a cheeky snarl. "Your words. But I agree. Those sisters have sex appeal keeping on for decades."

Annnnd his cheekiness and being an inch away from the point was still there. It was that playful annoyance that she enjoyed. Reason to get mock-mad and complain or smack him on the shoulder or any of those things. Those little signs her dragon was still inside that adult. "Spiiike."

"Been waiting a little while to hear that line again." He chuckled and leaned back in his seat, able to relax and raise his arms, the smell, though, of his scales entering the air. Little musk, masculine enough, to draw a suppressed-whimper from her. "But still. It's heat season, and yet, the sisters seem cool. Either they've found a way to deal with those urges—or they pay some guard really well throughout the ages."

"Spike!"

"What! Come on now! That one was legit!" His arms dropped to cross over his chest and, seeing those forearms rest against it, the mare wobbled into herself. Sleek scales over thick muscles. It all retained the slenderness that suited the lizard. "Now, if I said they had been paying him well in the bedroom. Then! Then you could make a case."

"Spiiike!'

"C'mon! I was using that as an example—you can't use that against me."

Twilight groaned and laughed and wanted to do the two at the same time. Both wanting to compress into herself and expand into the fullness of the seat. He was teasing her. Mood ruined from that conference, now returned, due to a good time with an old friend. "This is hopeless."

"Hey, hey! You can't be the mare saying that." Spike leaned onto the table and crossed his arms on it, expression concerned, the genuine kind she never had to doubt. Politics was a complex game, and body language was her least favourite form of reading. Yet, everything with the dragon was simple. Simple, as it was all genuine. Such was the case in dealing with 'beasts'. "You're the leader everypony looks to when everything falls apart. Raise your chin now. You're Twilight Sparkle. Who puts out the world when it's on fire?"

Twilight blushed and smiled and couldn't look the dragon in the face. Instead, she looked to the side in keeping her muzzle straight. Nearly she was like a puppy in playing this game. "I do."

"Who has saved Luna from Nightmare Moon?"

"My friends and I."

"Who always tries to find the best solution to a problem instead of the one best for her?"

"Me."

"And who, in being sheer awesomeness, was given wings for it?"

"This mare!" Even though it was childish, this spoon-feeding to her ego, she needed it, no matter how easily she could be mocked, as being fully accepting of it made her vulnerable. But the full support of the dragon restored her soul to its whole spirit. "This bookworm turned princess!"

"That's right!" His elbow pounded on the table as he flexed out his claw, and she slapped it at once, the sound ringing out, that final inflation to confidence despite the awkwardness of the previous conversation. Two absurd creatures, living the life of such, getting on swimmingly. "That's my mare!"

Twilight froze. Stung at that line. She blushed and kept in her seat as the dragon continued to cheer. It'd been a line heard many times. The dragon didn't mean anything different about it. But there'd been meaning in his words.

That this mare was his.

Course Spike didn't mean it like that. Encouraging her had been his goal. Yet the other meaning to those words, of belonging to him, for whatever reason, pumped her heart with something else. It hadn't been the first time these feelings rose.

Twilight sat back in her seat and fiddled with her hooves, blushing, knowing the dragon would take this for her happiness of the moment. But really, it was in what he had said. Who else would be here, at this moment, and go through this with her? Her friends would help, but they had their own lives, and couldn't always be there for the dark moments of the night.

Yet Spike was always there.

A frown stole her.

Or. At least. He used to be, that was, before Rarity had finally taken him away.

But he came back... on a day like this much less... could that...

"But as for the matter of what to do? Can't exactly be drawing everyone to check out your rump—I mean, they'll already be doing that, so they don't need an extra reason to look at what's between those flanks."

"Spiiike! You're horrible."

"What? You don't like me talking about your body?"

Twilight opened her mouth and then shut it. Her eyes flicked left and right as the weight of a blush had pushed down on her snout. Internal conflict began. Pride in being her own pony versus the rush she felt in being sexually complimented—something, not done, throughout her life. "I... well. I-I should be putting up some kind of fight, shouldn't I?"

"Not if it were me." Spike glanced up to the ceiling in scratching his chin. Delicate were the beginning features on his face. Little things coming together to make him handsome. "If I had an ass like that and someone complimented it? I'd just say 'I know" and give 'em a wink."

"Guuuahh!"

Her muzzle slammed onto the table.

"Want me to stop?"

Her face squeezed into itself as it rubbed into the wood. "N-No. Secretly I like it. Just... don't let Spike know."

"I do my best to let him know he walks a delicate line with that." The mirth from his voice had faded as seriousness rose in his tone. Her muzzle squeaked in inching up to see his face turning away. Weight had overtaken his shoulders. "You are rocking, though, Twilight, as you are beautiful in all aspects. It's nice when you can find someone special to tease all those things with. I promise I'll knock it off when you find the right guy... if you're even looking for him."

Twilight sighed and fell back into her chair, coming to slump into it, going slack in all regards. "I'm just looking for an answer to this first."

There should have been another joke. Another push for a whine and a laugh from Twilight to zap her from the mood. Yet the response to above was sigh. Slow and long and powerful in its weight. Groaning of afar wood told of the dragon slumped like her.

We always took after each other in the ways that mattered... didn't we? Mhmm. What other friend could enter your life at the point of sheer absurdity and decide to sit shoulder to shoulder with her? That actually sounds rather nice about now. Underneath the covers of a warm bed with a scent and the air... dang it.

"I feel like this is going to be as awkward as the birds and the bees conversation we had when we were younger," Spike started without hitching for breath, "but I figured we should rule all of this stuff out now. I take it... that long shower didn't help?"

Twilight's eyes clenched tighter than security at a prison with forehooves falling over her head like steel bars. "You could tell?"

He winced. "Don't exactly need to be a detective on that one. You take showers instead of baths due to time saved. You only take a bath when you really need one. Even then, you find them uncomfortable."

Twilight's head turned underneath her forelegs.

"You shower every day, but you do a set routine on a particular day." Spike's rattling returned him to a state of an assistant, one following a process and its logic which, in any other context, would be creepy. "I know because I used to buy and stock everything. Depending on the day, on average, you take a set time."

Twilight groaned. "But how does that tell you—"

"Five minutes means you're soaking in the warm water, and it's only five minutes because, after that point, the water starts to cool after you've cracked it close to max." Spike slumped forward in his chair and laid his chin on crossed arms. He seemed more swept with the deduction than the nature of the subject. "You magically warm the water after that because you need to finish something else off. The water doesn't change much in sound when you shower except when it crashes when you're washing your mane. When that happens twice, though."

Twilight's snout bunched into itself as she rolled it into the table. "Oh, Celestia. You've known all this time?"

"Hold up now." Spike's head rose from the table, and he dropped it on a propped claw. "I'm not a total creep. It's just things you notice after living together for a while. I never thought much more about it. Times that worried me were beyond the twenty-minute mark."

Her eyes blinked open in looking across the wood of the table to him. "Huh? But why?"

His eyes became downcast. "Because it meant something was wrong. Really wrong. Enough for you to stay in the shower that long." He sighed another horrible sigh. "You do your best thinking in there. That means even that wasn't enough. Figured that was the case when I came back today—why I asked if you wanted to sleep or not."

Twilight's face plopped back into the table. "That's very considerate of you."

"Feels like telling you all of that, though, has removed all my considerism."

Muffled was her voice. "That's not even a word."

"But a certain horny princess could make it a word."

Another muffled whimper. "Oooooh nooo... what if that's what they print!"

Twilight lifted from the table and threw back in her seat with the back on her head on its rest. Looking to the ceiling, she spread her hooves to the air, the holding of a sprawling tangling. "How they label my era of ruling! The Horny Princess!”

Her eyes flicked down to see the dragon's lips pushing to the left while his gaze kept on her. "Gotta admit it's a bit of a title."

"Spike!"

"What? It's a princess, so you know she's beautiful, but she's also horny too, so that means—"

"That means you're getting banished to the moon if you finish that sentence."

Spike leaned back in his seat and crossed his arms, and looked up and to the side. Thinking about something for a second. Then his gaze flicked back to her. "Want to finish it for me?"

Twilight couldn't suppress the tug that pulled on the corner of her lips. "Are you reeeally sure you want me to finish the sentence of banishing you to the moon? Didn't even have a chance to say how many years."

"How many years could you go without me?"

Her mouth opened but no words were produced.

Twilight couldn't even joke about a subject like that. "Zero."

"Just how do you live without me?"

"Been wondering that more and more as of late."

That sombre tone had caught the dragon. Their jests were a bit off due to the time apart. Even though he was so willing to tease, no matter what, he always had her back. No matter the insecurity or the problem, he would be there. It's why he could joke about such things in the first place.

Assurance of another.

"So long showers aren't the trick, and all the stuff underneath the bed doesn't do the job, right?"

Twilight smiled and rolled the side of her head on the table. Looking at the dragon sideways caused her mane to fall over an eye. Too drained from it all to throw a fuss about phrasing. "Nothing works, Spike. Nothing! No toy or spell or steamy novel! It's... it's never been this bad before."

Spike looked down in thought, and there was a flickering to his eyes. They widened before narrowing. Caught on something. "I don't recall this being an issue before either. Heat gets a bit stronger the older you get. Yet," he looked at her, "this started once you started getting bigger, right?"

Twilight nodded. This amounted to her cheek rubbing back and forth, adorably, on the table. They were puffed due to her pouting. Eyes gleaming with the starting of water. “It's different too. I always thought I could get along by myself. It didn't really bother me that I didn't have a stallion throughout my life."

Spike met this retort in placing both claws on his chest, over his heart, one atop the other, to stop the bleeding. "Sorry. Don't mind me. Just dealing with a stab to the male pride."

"You're a male?" Twilight asked with a flurry of blinks. "Wait. You have pride?"

Gunshots of magic shot the dragon back in the chair. He was now limp, at the scene of a crime. "Not anymore. Both of them are dead, thanks to you. Thanks, Twilight."

Twilight chuckled. "Oh, hush. You know what I mean. I always thought I would be okay in doing without that aspect of my life." She hummed sweetly to herself, and her eyes closed a little. "Maybe it would be nice to have. But I didn't need it. Not when I had the girls and you in my life. All I had to do was keep on with the stuff that counts."

"And now?"

"Now? I don't know Spike." Twilight huffed and rolled onto her chin. "Before all the usual methods worked in dealing with this. Now I'm not so sure anything would work. It's not even a matter of being, y-y'know... h-h-horny. It's..."

Twilight's breathing hitched.

"Slow it down now." Spike pushed back in his chair and rose and came around the table, settling on a knee next to her, a quick hug to her side. It sparked anxiety. Smells and scents below not thoroughly washed away. Yet the dragon's embrace was too warm, too tight, too loving for her to care. "You don't have to rush in telling me this. Take your time. I'm your friend."

Twilight couldn't pull herself together, yet that did not matter. Claws wrapped around the purple mesh and pulled her to his chest in a collected state. Allowing her to rest into the smoothness of muscle and the sleekness of scales. The solidarity of it all was comforting.

"In through the nose and out through the mouth. You already know the tempo." Spike's claw brushed through her mane, slowly and with care, in the way that drew hums. Twilight took a few to compose herself. It wasn't often she could fall apart. "See? There you go. You know how to count."

Twilight chuckled. "Thanks, Spike."

"Anytime."

Does he mean that? Of course he does.

Will he always be able to do it?

Doubtful.

"But the heat is different this season. It's no longer enough to tend to below." Shaking her head across his chest caused smooth scales to brush across her soft fur in a contact that was bliss. "R-Rather... it wants someone. It needs someone.”

Spike's head lifted from above, although he did not stop stroking hers, as he was forced to look elsewhere. His shoulders dropped as too did a sigh from his lips. "I'm... sorry to hear that. I-I think? I can't really be too sure." He swallowed and looked down at her. "Do you crave to be with someone for a long time?"

Her head shook against him again. "N-Not really. I s-still don't desire to have someone like that in my life." She chuckled in sliding her cheek up to his pec so she could look up to his face so high above. "Not while I still have you in it. But I still need someone to help with... that kind of stuff."

Her shoulders dropped in slumping more into him. "Does that make me a terrible mare?"

Spike blinked and shook his head and yet looked away all the same. "I don't think so. I mean. One night stands are a thing—aren't they?" He winced at that question as it led to a possible answer. "Have you... thought about that at all? Finding a stallion to help you?"

"Do you think—"

"I think all you would have to do is ask, and you would have a long line of throbbing stallions."

Twilight clenched an eye at that. "Augh. Was that a compliment?"

"A compliment as far away from being a compliment that a compliment can be."

Twilight rolled her eyes. "Gross."

"Doesn't make it any less true."

Groans. "It still wouldn't work."

Twilight huffed in pulling out from his arms and sitting properly on her chair. Looking down at her half-eaten food and thinking it over. Footsteps sounded from her side as the dragon returned to his side of the table. She thought more about it. "Maybe I could attract anyone—which feels weird for someone like me to be saying—but even then... there's too many ways it could go wrong."

Spike settled back into his chair while answering. "Can't exactly have it leaking out to the press?"

"Press. Blackmail. Hundred other anxieties."

"Afraid he'll expose one of your kinks?"

"Or make me indulge in his."

His head bounced that logic around. He stopped as his eyes sparkled. He snapped his digits. "How did Cadance deal with this? She's not like Celestia or Luna."

"Yeah—but she had Shining to do... things I'd rather not think about."

"But that's all you need, right? Just one guy you can trust to help you with all that stuff." Spike was nodding his head and going along with the starting of the logical process. "Just someone to take the edge off until the season ends. Surely there's one guy you know like that who could help."

Welcome to the end of the thought-process.

Twilight leaned back into her seat and cupped her forehooves together before her chest, eyes closed and forced a smile, the rising heat in her body doubling in his realization. This could go so many ways. Yet a chance had to be taken. "There's only one."

"Oh yeah? Who?"

Of course he wouldn't suspect himself. Still a goof.

"...you."

Spike had broken into a cheer at the coming to the answer of Twilight's problem, racking his head for all the males along the way, the ones who could be trusted tending her issue. Who wouldn't want to be with her even for a night? So much greatness to be given easy permission to.

"Spike? You there?"

And then he froze in fear of being chosen as the 'lucky' guy.

What was his reaction to that supposed to be? Infinite blinking revealing nothing but the mare on the other side of the table. Not friend or Twilight but mare. One interested in him. Her asking changed the general air between them.

He panicked. Frozen. Body on overload. His thumb twitched and his heart pumped ice. Everything tightening in his chest as his breaths had to be wheezed out. Moving felt impossible yet he was always shaking. There didn't seem to be an end to any of it.

The effect of even a hint of intimacy.

"Spike? I-I'm so sorry! I didn't mean it like that! I just thought, w-well, you were asking, and I wanted to tell the truth and, h-hey, it's not like we actually are..."

Are you going to let another mare be ashamed of herself because you're a coward? So easily able to talk and tease about those things—until it comes to the real deal. Pull yourself together. Say something. Take the full blame already!

Spike croaked out from the mould that held him. He cracked through, shifting a little, heart raising and scales tightening, everything imploding inside of him. Weakness of muscles to the point where only bone composed his limbs. "I... n-no. Just... a second, please."

She was answering your question—she didn't suggest anything! But now your outbreak is causing her to feel even worse about that! What if she never trusts you with this kind of stuff again because of this? Afraid of what kind of reaction it'll provoke? It'll be like Rarity all... all...

He was shivering without end and it forever became worse. Chest pushing against his chest in a bid to escape. Blackness bloated the corners of his vision and swelled to the center. Everything going dark with the sensitivity of panic tingling at the tips of all his nerves.

Until something rushed to his side. Soft and polite and brushing across his arm. Limp in his chair, he rolled his head to the right, seeing the face of Twilight inches before him. Her muzzle was downcast with bangs over her eyes. The thickness of her chest puffed into the rest of the chair as her hoof was pressing across his arm.

"It's okay now. Just take a couple of deep breaths." Twilight kept stroking him and stroking him, in a tempo she had experienced moments before, using it to help him. His shivers seemed to chill her body—despite how warm and fluffy her coat was. "I didn't mean to spring all of that on you. It's natural it would be a bit of a shock. I could have phrased that better."

Spike blinked and rolled his head the few centimetres he could. "D-Don't be. We... joke about it all the time."

"Joking and flirting aren't the same as the real thing." Twilight chuckled in finding herself a little. Enough to raise her muzzle as the bottom of her eyes peeked from the underside of her bangs. "Though I guess all those talks about my rump among other things were all for show, huh?"

Spike breathed in and out through his mouth, forever unable to catch his breath, taking his free claw and laying it on his chest. He chuckled between his struggles. "S-Something like that. E-Easier to talk about things you know you'll never have."

Twilight blinked. "So you never thought about me that way?"

The dragon seized.

"Sorry! Sorry!" Twilight stepped back with a turn of the head. "Bad time to be asking those kinds of questions right now."

"No, no! Just... going to need a few to recover." Guilt flushed down his scales in the lack of comfort or support. "Do you think you could—"

"Right right!" Twilight beamed and stepped closer, happy to stroke his arm once more, amused by the action. Focused and stolen in watching her hoof travailing across his body. Feeling over the swell of muscle to the slenderness of his wrist. "Sorry about that."

"Don't be." His breathing slowed to the point it filtered through his snout once again. "And... yeah. Of course I thought about you that way before. Not... to my proudest confession. Just never worried too much about it."

Twilight's stroking slowed as her muzzle was below his chin, looking down his body, a blush starting at her cheeks. "Any... reason for that?"

"Well." Spike coughed an exhale and did his best to shrug. "We're lifetime friends, aren't we? Just figured nothing would come in the way of that. Can't even comprehend things changing between us to the point it's never occurred to me. Plus... you've never gone looking for a guy after that one time, right?"

Twilight stopped at the mention of that, shaking her head, and beginning again. "R-Right. Guess I don't really present the look of being 'available' now, do I?"

"More so I'm too good for you.”

"Ha."

"It's true."

"Yet I don't have anyone."

"You've got me."

"Not for this."

"You've got me."

Did I... crud.

Twilight slowed in stroking his arm to look up at the dragon, her face coming inches below his, the waft of her breath floating across his chin. Her lips were but an inch away. Supple and perfect and so close to his. She looked at him in bewilderment.

Drawn close to him at that moment.

"You mean you will..."

Spike closed his eyes, nodded his head, and then proceeded to smile. "It's a little too soon after Rarity but—you just need someone to help you in that other department, right? I'm not sure how much help I could be. But I'll do the best that I can."

Twilight answered him by leaping up and kissing him on the cheek.

Which drained life from his body.

For all the wrong reasons.

I | Confession in the Bedroom
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Heated Into Weakness

I | Confession in the Bedroom

~ I ~

Confession in the Bedroom

The problem with the promise of sex is that, if a time is not supplied with it, one party is confused as to when to make a move or to see something as a move. Both dragon and mare returned to eating their cooled food. It did not taste as good as when it was warm. This did not come as a surprise to them.

Spike had suddenly come around the table to her side in Twilight's attempt to stomach the chilly noodles, and she froze on his approach. Limply laid a strand from her lips. She blinked. Is this it? Hardly romantic.

Twilight's eyes tightened at the first move being a cliche but couldn't help but close them in wait. Indeed she'd been shifting from flank to flank, bubbles of purple, forming and flattening, on rising and sinking across the seat. Her needy little lips were tucked between the pair, the sides, pressed on, to a fraction of the pressure she craved.

She waited and waited.

For a kiss that never came.

But the summoning of heat.

"How much do you want them reheated?"

Her eyes cracked open as the effect shot across her soul. "Whuah?"

He's... going to do... WHAT NOW down there?

But a shiver took her out of it. Before her, the dragon kneeled next to the dish. His claws cupped over the food like a bowl. He leaned in as his thumbs moved out of the ways. Closing his eyes and exhaling, a stream of fire blew inside, the glow of emerald, flickering, in the little spaces between his digits.

Green fire swirled around the inner-rim of the claws as they lowered to inches above the food, cooking it, as the deliciousness of the lights teased to the outside world. Cocking his head to see how the temperature developed—leaning in a few to spew a few more flames—he glanced back to her.

"I find natural fire helps in preserving the original flavours of the meal." He chuckled at her before looking back at the fireworks beneath his claws. Calming and angelic was the show. It brought total calm to all. "Maybe you could do a spell that totally reheats it to when it's made fresh—but something about this is nice."

Twilight's lips were open and they refused to close. Strands of pasta dropped from her lips and onto the table. Elation, anger, and confusion were the cocktail of the moment. The first wanted to kiss him on the cheek. The second wanted to smack that cheek. The third wanted to stare endlessly at that cheek.

"There's... a few spells that could do, well, e-exactly as you said. Especially after you left and I became desperate." Twilight coughed into a hoof and turned away. Warmed became her body and especially to the cheeks of her own. Cause of his fire or the one below? Not like there's a third option. "But at least this makes it unique! I'm sure it'll taste fantastic."

Spike looked back at her with a nod and an exhaled chuckle. Something about him was off. Tension rolled off his scales as even his heartbeat rattled the air. Over the dish, his claws were shivering, despite being warmed by fire—unable to be stung by such either.

"Um."

"Yeah?"

"Spike?"

"Y-Yes Twilight?"

"The sauce is about to catch fire."

Spike had jerked away from the plate as the release of the fire shot to the roof. Twilight's horn blasted a shield over their trajectory and dispelled the flames. Spike looked down from the show at her, his guilty smile at the large, a series of awkward chuckles from them both.

"I, uh, thank you?"

Twilight's eyes nearly closed and her lips became compressed as her forced nods scooted him off the hook. It wasn't before long they returned to the meals. She took a few bites, some places toasty, others crunchy where they shouldn't be. Charred black on paste meant to be a rich red.

"So how is it?"

Nothing compared to that spell I can do in five seconds.

"Pretty good! I can taste you in it." Twilight blinked and her chest seized and her forehooves shot out and up and surrendered. Her elbows banged onto the table to the clattering of plates and forks. "N-Not that kind of taste though! Just your breath."

Spike winced. "Oh! My bad! I thought I brushed extra well today."

Twilight closed her eyes and tried again. "N-Not like that! I just mean your smoke. I can taste you all over this dish." Her vision risked imploding from the overloading pressure. "Not like the other tasting I'll be doing tonight, but the—OH DEAR CELESTIA, I REALLY SAID THAT!"

"T-Tasting? You mean like..." Spike glanced down his body to the place between his legs, which would come soon into use, and, that thought, the feeling attached, for whatever reason, jerked him from his chair. His knees smacked into the underside of the table as his plate jostled around. "Oh! Uh. Hehehe. Oh. Oh boy."

His breathing picked up, and the world started to zoom, and flesh shrunk beneath his scales. Scolding was his melting heart. Every breath, strained, in choking on the dense air.

"Y-You don't have to do that!"

Out of the cocktail of the previous three: confusion was the hottest spice.

"Whuh? What do you mean? Of course I have to do that!" Twilight looked to the sides, as was the custom of looking to others when something ridiculous had been spoken. Her own surprise at this would have to suffice. "I-I mean it's only f-fair. You're going to be... down there. Y'know. Licking and um. E-Eating?"

Spike's jaw dropped. "You mean that I eat that?!"

Twilight's lips nearly came one in how they blasted together, the whole of her body, seizing, at the absurdity of the conversation. She was panting like an animal in an inability to express or describe all that was wrong.

Nor was she the kind of mare that could talk so casually about sex.

"Not actually EAT, you numbskull! You metaphorically eat it—I-I mean." Twilight squeezed her eyes as disgust instead of lust flushed down her. "You lick it a lot. M-Make out with it even? They're just another pair of lips—so it's like a kiss!"

There was no describing Spike's face on the other side of the table. Like a wounded puppy told to go lick mud for having gotten something wrong. His right eye was wide though his left twitch closer to being closed. "K-Kiss like exploring each other's m-mouths and all that?"

"Y-Yeah! Though it's tighter and longer and with slime, and it undulates and—I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M TALKING ABOUT MY PRIVATES LIKE THIS!" Twilight slammed a hoof onto the wood, and her fluffy chest huffed and puffed to the disarray of her breathing. "Didn't you already do all this stuff with Rarity or some other mare? You should already know all this!"

That had gone too far. Hooves crossed over her mouth. Muffled scream into a broad wrist.

"Sorry! Sorry."

Spike laid back on the other seat, breathing and panting as well, looking at everything around the mare—yet not at her. He fought. He tried. Some force pushed away his gaze on it coming too close. He coughed into a claw and bowed his head. "Don't worry about it. I'm not roughed up on her. It ended on good terms."

"Did it?"

"Mostly... yes." His eyes shut. "And the part that didn't was my fault to begin with." Spike breathed, nice and slow, to find his grove. "And I'm sorry about all this. Wish I was... a bit better at dealing with stuff like this. Or what we're about to do after dinner."

Twilight laughed in a rising squeak that replaced anger with euphoria. She tittered in her seat to tips of hooves tapping on the chair. Excitement not so much to sleep with him, but rather, to be done with lava that nipped on her other lips. "So after dinner then?"

"Think that's about the right time—yeah." Excitement didn't carry with him. Rather the dread in facing a terrifying fate. Twilight had been worried about the beginning signs. Waiting for the cue. To follow him into the bathroom, or when to pause at his door. "You haven't been able to sleep well ever since this started, right? Maybe giving you a good night's rest will... did I just saying giving you?"

Laughter became her as the air became thin once again. "What's this? Is this a hint of the alpha dragon coming out?"

"Yeah right! Not even close." There was still that pain about him. Twilight continued to be cute and adorable and swishing her tail to the spread of pheromones in the air. Yet inside, a part of her was stabbed. Previous scars tearing into a wound. "I'm just in this to help you, Twilight. I... don't need anything in return for it. Can't promise I'll be the best in that department. But tell me what to do, and I'll do it."

Why had those words been so cruel without the attachment of malicious intent? She was in heat, and nothing would do the trick except for a partner—whom she only needed to be a periodical partner in bed. Needing to get off and then be free for a certain amount of time.

And that's exactly what he's here for. Yet... I'm not happy with that. I want something more from it—but I'm not sure what? Do I want him to f-f-fuck me? T-To actually want it? But I've never cared about that stuff before.

Why would I suddenly want him now to squeeze my rump? Or to be amazed by it or me? N-None of this is making sense. Maybe he's right. Maybe all of this will be clear after I get some sleep. Just... just need to wait until after dinner.

The two ate in silence as the thick air returned.

Twilight had been hoping for him to take the lead but, in the hallway, he kept behind, not looking at her behind, but rather, to wherever they were looking too. She knew she'd been a touch bit wet. Strands of tail now plastered to the fatness of a flank.

The shifting globes, heavier than heft, sliding and grind, one into the other, working out the scent tucked between them.

Twilight stopped at the opening in the hallway that split into sides. Holding in the center of it, she turned around, looking up to the dragon—who stepped back in response. Heat radiated from him. Nervous energy emitting a tingle into her belly.

What is his fear? Sleeping with me? W-We're too close for anything to break us apart. Could it be he never saw me like that before? I doubt he could ever look at Cadance as anything sexy. Could it be the same with me?

Now it was her turn to panic as, in looking up to him, both of them paused. She had failed to say anything. The ends of the halls, blanketed in darkness, crunched, pulling in, the world starting to implode. The ceiling so high above, a hill of glass seeing to the stars, falling down, everything closing in.

W-Why aren't you saying anything? Take c-charge! S-So what if he's NEVER seen you in that light and you're NOW forcing him to be with something he would never WANT? He's doing it to help you. He wouldn't have agreed otherwise.

"I... uh... mine or yours?"

Spike blinked down at her with a face rearing into insecurity.

Twilight huffed. "R-Rooms, I mean. Mine or yours?"

Spike chuckled his anxiety away. "How about Starlight's? It's not like she uses it anymore."

Twilight laughed. "Ha! While I doubt she'll be back for more than a visit... something about that doesn't feel right." Something about all of this doesn't feel right. Why are you suddenly so different, Spike? Able to joke about all that stuff but... when it comes to it... being so afraid. "H-How about we do my room? We can see how we like it and... yeah."

His voice meekly replied. "Sounds good to me."

The ceiling and other halls kept in their crunch except for the sprawling one ahead. Drenched in darkness except for the rains of moonlight across the path. It was enough, in the dark, to guide them toward the room. Footsteps loud and heartbeats louder.

Why doesn't he naturally want to sleep with me? Would I want to sleep with me? I... I like how I look. More thick and round with pudge I would have liked—but he always teased guys liking that. But how could he say all that without enjoying it himself? Is it because he saw those features at a distance?

What good is that distance if it causes his words don't mean anything?

Should I call this off?

Things are already awkward.

Could I find anyone else?

Like that one time-stand... no... not that ever again.

There's no one better I can find right now.

I'll have to make do with Spike.

They reached the door, and it creaked open to the reveal of the room. It was bathed in darkness except for a large window. Both parties stood at the frame of the door, gazing in for, on the first step forward—there could not be one backward.

Spike looked down to Twilight, and Twilight looked up to Spike, both side by side, in the same fate in the same place, the calling toward the bed commanding them. Twilight had to crane her neck a little to even see him. How tall he'd become. Imposing without being imposing.

There was a miracle about him. So slender without being weak or strong as to be bulky. Small bearded scales across his jaw with eyes, though dimmed, still tore through the darkness with their tired glow. In closing them for a second, he breathed, the window closed, the air of the room, like the mare next to him—smelling of that.

Mare.

His eyes opened, and his claw was held below his chin. Staring into it revealed its jitters. Unable to keep still no matter his breathing or the words cracked into a joke. Exhales carried weight yet did not carry out his tension.

But a wing flew from the side of his view and laid on it. Wingtips brushing his palm into a calm. He stared at it intensely as weight flushed out through him. Looking down and to the left, Twilight was there smiling up at him, as still and silent as he.

"Nervous?"

Spike bunched his lips together with defeat as his expression. "How could you tell?"

"There were a few signs."

"Sorry about those."

"Don't be—you have every reason to be nervous. I am too."

"Ever done this before?"

"O-Once."

"How was it?"

"Sadly phenomenal."

"You don't hear those two words going together often."

Twilight's wing slunk from his claw and tucked into her side. She strode forward, past pains overriding current ones, walking toward the bed as she did in memory. Her hoof laid on the end of the wood as her vision swept across the mattress. "That stallion... knew how to make a girl feel special. Oh, Spike. He would whisper the nicest things and caress in all the right spots. Sensations you didn't know you had brought to life with utter... love."

Spike chuckled from the door and, in hearing the pain in her tone, stepped forward, uncaring of his own. Indeed that's how it was for the dragon. In sensing the first strife in his best friend, the legitimate need for her assistant, he was there, no matter what, to whatever effect upon himself. "It sounds like you're raising the bar a little too high for me to reach here."

The back of Twilight's head shook to the light sway of her mane. Shambling to the left, she came before one of the wooden banisters of the bed and, without hesitance, clung to it as it sunk into the softness and fluffiness of her chest. "I'd never expect you to match that. I don't think too many stallions can. Oh, Celestia. What a mistake that was."

Twilight laid her forehead onto the beam and rubbed into it; the dragon was several steps behind her though unable to be with her. No matter the time before, he would be there, in a hug or embrace, digits running through her hair.

But now her rump was stuck out, cooled down as it was before, but still, pressing against it... terrified him endlessly. Before there wasn't a chance with it in any capacity that was intimate. Now that that capacity had changed... the coward was stronger than the assistant inside.

"But I suppose that's what you get in a high-class establishment, and Rarity offers you one too many glasses of wine." Twilight's eyes closed, and the moonlight was too weak to be felt through closed lids. "But that night. Oh, that night. It was... so nice."

"Sadly nice?"

Twilight laughed in pain at the continued rubbing of her head into the wood. "You're catching on."

Spike winced. "Feels like I shouldn't have... but I recall Rarity briefly telling me you'd struck gold." He couched and scratched the back of his neck. "I nearly expected someone else to be here once I got back. It sounds like the night went alright."

Twilight hummed without opening either mouth or eyes.

Spike sighed. Time for the assistant to come out. It scared him to no end the full extent of that bed. Twilight and he had slept before. Tucked against her chest as they read stories until heavy eyelids pulled them to rest. It wasn't a different bed or mare.

But something would be different.

Spike failed to find courage for his own endeavours.

But could always find it easy enough in helping others.

He went around the mare and to the side of the bed, sitting down on it, petting the side, to the opening of her eyes. Twilight's head bumped up on the beam as her eyes looked at him from either side of it. The weight of the past was too heavy to smile past. Though the seeing of him allowed the tiniest kind.

Twilight sighed and came around, hooves clopping on the ground, before she came next to him, her bottom a foot from his, allowing him to be safe for a little longer—until her head leaned onto his shoulder.

His breathing hitched... but he didn't give in. Twilight was hurt. In pain not shared with others. Willing to risk indulging it with him.. because he was her assistant. He was her Spike. Maybe if that was all she needed him to be, the claw lifting from the bed, struggling in so doing, could have laid easier on her shoulders and pulled her close.

But she needed him to be more. To be close. Intimate. Bodies brushing into each other to the joining of heat. Feeling of fur meaning a little bit more. It wasn't the contact itself that frightened him—enough to jolt the heart but not scare him off.

Rather it was all the hidden implications beneath it all.

Ones he wasn't fully aware of.

But that scared him so.

His claw reached across his back, shaking, coming to her shoulder... only to drop off before it. Crashing back into the bed as he sighed and looked out to the moonlight. Weakness and cowardice. Letting the mare do as she pleased. Unable to do anything for her.

"The stallion had been so nice, Spike." Twilight's exhale washed across his shoulder as the rubbing of her cheek brushed his scales with her little furs. Pain twisted in every fraction it'd been born from. Unable to help Twilight from her torture and the blissful sensations of her body that'd nearly sent him into shock. "He made me feel special. Could even talk Rarity into leaving. Spent the night talking about stars—he'd been some higher-class student from Canterlot."

Spike exhaled as well and looked up to the moon through the window. "You know you don't have to tell me this stuff if you don't want to. Not if it's going to wind you up again in another area."

"Tch." Twilight leaned off his body with a push of her hooves on his side. "Jerk."

"But I can promise that, whatever that stallion didn't do... I can do it for you."

Celestia, she could be beautiful. How the bed squeaked at her crawling across it. He'd looked over to catch the mare on her side, revealing the length of her barrel, the pudge that thickened in all the right places, the catches of lavender fur more overgrown in certain areas than others.

How the moonlight rolled across her body in fragments like an allure of the night itself. Spots of her body, darkened fuzz, and others, brightened in violet hue in the light. Twilight's face retreated into the darkness, unable to be seen, of course, except for the glow of her eyes.

Shining in a way that could triumph over the moon if they were the same size.

"Spike?"

He'd gone to speak but realized he had not breathed in the last few. Choking a breath so he could quickly get the words out. "Yeah?"

"P-Promise me something?"

"For all the world and the wings on my back."

"I'm not s-sure h-how long you will be willing to do this, but," an unsteady inhale was followed by a short eruption of breath, "p-promise me that, n-n-no matter what happens that, w-when I wake up... that you'll be there."

Spike was smiling without knowing why. On the side of the face which she could not see. He lowered his head before it entered a nod. It took moments before his eye could glance back to her again. "Careful with a promise like that. Dragon like me will make you regret it."

Sorry again, Rarity, for failing to be what you needed.

But maybe for Twilight.

It doesn't mean anything more with her.

Will I be able to get over myself?

"Thank you, Spike," the words were quick, and the mare shuffled back and onto her back, coming to lie on the bed of pillows, the spread of her legs, covered in-between, as her tail flicked over. "So um. S-Shall we begin? You can take the lead."

Spike blinked at the sudden change from connection to sex. That'd been the way in the books, hadn't it? Emotional release to two lovers kissing passionately and kicking off into the bed. Sex was the promise and the ultimate seal and connection to what came before.

I-It's not like that with her. J-Just the sex part. No need to get scared.

But he was getting scared. Feeling his breathing hitched and his chest clenched. Choking on nothing to the increased beating of his heart. Claws on the bed rattled as they rocked the mattress. Mouth opening and steam whispering.

Fear. Fear. Fear.

"M-Me lead?"

"Well... yeah." Twilight's blinking was even more adorable by the blush rising across her cheeks. Despite her advantage of experience, she was still, the adorkable, Twilight Sparkle. Looking to the side as the usual Twi came out to play. "You're the guy aren't you? Don't they take charge or something?"

"W-Well..."

"Or did Rarity always take the initiative? I-Is that a turn-on for you? What do you prefer in the dynamic?"

"T-Twilight!"

"W-What?! What part did I get wrong?"

His heart was pounding at this point. It wasn't often one could feel each beat. Searing heat, exploding and imploding, the previous force, pulling or pushing on the next, with each pulsation, rendering a weakening electricity throughout him.

"O-Oh c'mon now, Spike! Now you're acting like you've never done this before! I-It's not that hard!" Fluster built in Twilight's voice as she drew back his attention. She looked to him with a chest rising and dropping. Quickly and gaining speed. "T-There's not much to it. H-Here's my thing right here and—"

There was no preparation for it. Not any instance where he could have been ready. Swell of sex tucked beneath the waterfall of that tail. Its shape revealed as the current twitched away. Thickly between her legs, a dense vulva composed of furs, shorter ones, rich in the waft of wild lilac.

Spike knew he lost all credibility as a male in jumping away from the things, crawling like he was being chased by that which was still. His back crashed into the wood, and he pressed harder against it. Eyes still set on the drooling lips—evoking another strand of panic.

"W-What! What is it! Is t-there something w-wrong with it?" The fat flanking thighs shut together in once as the mare scooted up on her behind. Hooves crossed over her chest in an attempt to hide more of herself from him. "I-It looks fine to me! H-Haven't exactly seen another mare—I REFERENCED IT AGAINST SOME BOOKS, OKAY?!"

Spike was horrified and wanting to cry and that feeling seemed universal with the other in the room. Strain on his eyes in being pulled at the sides threaten to expose the cowardice within. Shaking his head helped quell the other of her fear. Even with closed legs: her smell, musk of sex, stole the air.

"T-Then what's wrong with it? Not as good as Rarity's? There s-shouldn't be much of a difference w-when it comes to these things!"

Spike wined and turned his head as what little oxygen he had slipped through his lips. Shoulders deflating in being unable to hide the truth. Courage couldn't be found for the sake of a friend.

One that he only wanted to help.

"I-It's something wrong with me."

"Wrong with you? Wha... what could be wrong with you, Spike?"

Who knew the past could happen again so quickly?

"It... it has to do with Rarity and I." His eyes kept shut, and even that only allowed his mouth to open a little bit. Shuffling of distant sheets revealed the mare coming closer. The naked one. Rich in the smell of sex. Hot in at least three terms for the word. "On why we broke up."

"Ooohh Spiiike! You should have told me this was too soon!" Twilight collapsed into herself as the bed squeaked louder from underneath her weight. The springs hadn't squeaked to adjust to a bouncing mattress. Rather all that squeaking belonged to the dragon. "I didn't want you feeling like this was a rebound thing. We can call all of this off if you like. Wait until you're ready or... find something else entirely."

Spike shook his head as his claws grabbed the beam, as the mare had done before, needing the support. It offered something to grab and hold. However, it didn't keep him back. No comfort in return. "It's not that either. It's just... oh crud. I was going to tell you eventually. But I thought... thought if I..."

"K-Knock that stuff off Spike! You have something you need to say!" Twilight drew a long breath as tensions built between them. Would she have been better with another guy? Even if it wasn't a stallion, she didn't know—the beginning awkwardness wouldn't last or be as bad as this. "Please. J-Just say it already. I can take it."

Here goes nothing.

"Rarity and I broke up... because... because I was too scared to do anything."

His claw tightened around the post as he could feel her face doing the same unto itself.

"How... how do you mean?"

Spike leaned his forehead into the beam, a sudden calmness over him, now that, for the moment, sex would be off the table. It might keep that way, too, after his next words. "Means I was too scared to be with Rarity. Like hug and kiss her and all that. A-And when it came to sex..."

Silence.

"A-And when it came to sex?"

He sighed.

"I bolted out of the room."

Silence.

"OOOOHHHHHH SSSPPIIIIIIIIIIKKE!"

Author's Note

Howdy gang! It's been a while since I've seen you in this format.

I will be your friendly neighbourhood guide in providing the behind the scenes of the story as well as keeping up with the comments. This story is probably the most awkward and strangely I've written a romance to date. That, and I probably went overboard with the prose.

Oh well.

I wanted to try something different with this story in terms of the plot. Normally most of my stories are two characters, in a room, talking about their feelings. My latest fics have been breaking out from that in having more characters and different settings and the like—though the core of it remains the same.

That, and I've never been able to nail pacing.

This is a story about entering heat and, in needing to deal with that, hooking up with her lifelong friend to handle it. Most of my stories start in the middle of that and we find, from exposition or dialogue, the reasoning for the current events. In some cases it works.

But I wanted to more so show the reasoning for the plot. Why all of this was happening. The worst case scenario,. Good answers come from good questions. What is the worst, if this problem goes untreated, will happen? What are the stakes?

It would have to deal with Twilight being a princess. Where would she most get exposed for heat? During a speech. With the first piece of the puzzle placed, I was able to start from there, learn more about the problem via writing. The story doesn't get to the main source right away. But I like to think showing the stakes—while also revealing character—was a nice change of pace.

That's all I got for the start of this series! See ya in the next chapter.
~ Yr. Pal, B

II | Leading Him Through It
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Heated Into Weakness

II | Leading Him Through It

~ II ~

Leading Him Through It

Twilight became aware that her head was hanging back, unleashing a call that had not been released for very long, the levels of growing frustration leading her, slowly, in the territory to kill. Her shoulders slumped and her body deflated before she could move to kill.

"Seeeeriously?"

The poor boy was still wrapped around the beam as though it would protect him from the rising current of something... far too metaphorical for her mind. Twilight couldn't help but huff as he collapsed backward. Spread over the cushion as mane rested over her eyes.

"I-I'm not anymore proud of it than you are! H-How do you think it feels to be the guy afraid of sex? Too busy shivering when a warm coat brushes over you." The developing depth to his voice and tone, suddenly, had been replaced by the squeaks of the kid still buried inside. "I thought I could get over it for you! That if all of this contact didn't matter that... that... that it would go back to being like before!"

Twilight blinked, looking to the ceiling of the banister. The sauna inside her mind, cleared, allowing room to think. The dragon, trying to woo tail ever since he was a child, was now afraid of getting his wish? When the heck did all of that start?

"I don't get this. Spike! You've never had trouble sharing hugs or taking kisses on the cheek before." Her repeatedly blinking eyes searched the past for further clues on the matter. Several late nights and sticky books came to mind. "Heck! I've even walked in on you a few times—"

"D-Doing something w-we agreed to n-never talk about again! Past stays in the past!"

"Augh! Fine! Point is you've never had problems with mares in the past!"

"Because I was never close with mares back then!"

"Are you seriously saying you didn't feel close to the girls and me back then?"

"N-Not that kind of close Twilight! Just the kind of close that's, y'know, r-romantic." His heavy breaths tried to stabilize his voice. He still sounded so much like a kid. Unlike the grown dragon that had returned to her earlier in the day. "Where you're actually developing something with a mare. Where the hugs and the kisses mean something more. A-Actually sharing body heat. D-Doing... doing..."

"Are you shivering?"

"It's c-cold."

"The window's shut."

"N-No, it's not."

"You can cuddle up with me for w-warmth."

"T-Twilight!"

Twilight was zapped from the mood in the slice of a cut across the shape of his voice. Forced to blink at the wound dealt to the dragon. He was sincere. Actually in panic and pain due to the subject of the conversation.

"O-Oh Spike. I'm... I'm so sorry. I-I didn't mean to tease you! Just... never knew about this is all." She scooted back on the bed and propped herself on the pillows again, not in a fashion to be serviced, but rather, to be comfortable. "Tell me more about this."

Had that been too much of an ask? Hard to worry as fires bit at her lower lips. Her thighs rubbed against them. It would hold her off. And release more of her want into the air.

I'm not sure how much more of this I can take.

"What else is there more to say? My body freezes up in actually getting with a mare." Spike's voice seemed calmer now as he peeled from the beam and crawled across the bed, around her, no doubt catching her smell... but making no mention of it. "In thinking about them and... enjoying them on the page? No sweat and no problem."

Twilight's head rolled on the pillows as he crashed into the bunch next to her. Least a foot separating them. His thigh didn't dare to be anywhere close to her tail. Part of her hurt at that. Though it wasn't due to her at least. "But actual intimacy?"

The dragon pretended to croak. Rocking violently in the bed with a claw outreached above. Then it fell over his heart. Draped across it. Her assistant, confirmed dead, as his tongue toiled out of the corner of his mouth. "Psst. That's the killer word."

Twilight smiled and rolled her eyes, and adjusted herself on the pillows. "Corpses aren't supposed to talk."

"That's because I'm a ghost now." He lurched forward and spread out his arms. "Boooo!"

"Will a kiss bring you back to life?"

He crashed back into the soft mountain. "Nah. It'll just kill me twice."

Twilight's eyes flickered. "Double death?"

"It's unique to dragons—you wouldn't know about it."

"Like how I didn't know about your aversion to mares?"

"Not mares! Really do like mares! Maybe cause it's like them so much that I'm so averse."

"You're starting to lose the ball again, Spike."

"Sorry." It was hard to see him in the dark as his scales merged with the shade of the night. He breathed in and out. His head rolled over to see her, and now, the glow of his eyes illuminated his snout. "About this."

"It's okay."

It was not, actually, okay.

Both of the two lying back on the same bed, a foot apart, with the smell of sex in the air.

The aroma still lifted from between her legs, and the change of mood did nothing to dispel what had been building since dinner. Not even a shower could please the deep teasing inside of her. That clenching on nothing. Licking of lava over thin lips. Little flicks of the hips to feel the thump of her rump on the bed.

S-Stop. Please. Stop being so desperate, please!

"S-So, what is your fear, exactly? And... can you pretend I asked that question a whole lot better?"

Spike chuckled at that in sinking the back of his head into the cushions. "Asked it perfectly, Twi. But the truth is that I couldn't tell you. Spent my whole life chasing after the same mare. Imagining everything that could happen. Dates and what happened afterward. Every fancy and fantasy a boy could dream up."

Twilight rolled her head back to him. "And?"

He rolled his as well as the two looked into the eyes of each other.

"And I spent all that time inside a dream-world where everything was safe because nothing actually happened." His mouth opened, and his snout twitched away though his eyes remained locked on her. "It was always a fantasy me, y'know? Always a fantasy her. It was a fantasy everything!"

He exploded in breath as the tight broadness of his chest started to rise and dip. "N-Never actually thought... a-anything would happen. It all seemed locked away in a different world. So I never prepared for anything like that. When it all would become—"

"Real?"

Spike nodded with a sad expression. "Yeah. Real. Something about that terrifies me."

"And is that why you can flirt so easily? Because you don't think it'll actually go somewhere—that it'll actually mean something?"

He chuckled. "No different from our usual gags. Things never changed between us. So I... I could joke and suggest and... oh Celestia... I'm nothing like the dragon that I pretend to be."

Twilight sighed in relief. "You don't have to worry about that, Spike. None of us are who we really say we are—only doing our best to be." She looked over at him with a smile born with the hope of relaxing him. "Like you wanting to help me, no matter what, to the point of this."

He looked back with bunched lips and tired eyes and the slow nods that were supposed to acknowledge something. "And I still want to help you."

"Think you can?"

"Think I'll... just have to get over myself."

"You shouldn't be forcing yourself for me."

"Yet I want to."

"Am I that good-looking?"

"Oh, hush."

Twilight's giggles were a rising chorus that broke in a snort that tickled her funny. She looked across the lavender roll of her belly and to the thickly thighs ground together. Slowly they spread. Deciding to take a chance in all of this. "Then let's try this again. Slowly this time. I can take the lead."

The pounding of his heart was audible. "A-And I?"

"Just have to follow what I say and do and see what happens from there." She leaned forward and came to rest on her rump, turning to him, as the dragon did the same, the two friends, since childhood, sitting before each on the center of the bed. "You've never been with a mare before. It's understandable why intimacy scares you. But don't you worry. We should be able to solve that."

Laughing at his pained expressions was a guilty pleasure as Spike deflated. "N-Not sure it's one of those problems you just solve."

"It is! On the surface, at least." Twilight laid her hooves on her thighs, the dragon doing the same on his own, nervous where this was leading to—but trusting in his guide. His eyes still glowed in the darkness. "New things are scary! Especially when you're supposed to be good at them right off the bat."

Twilight's head jumped from side to side as logical progression stole her mind.

"Then there's that whole psychological thing of how a mare is judging your worth as a guy or even how much of a guy you are and—"

"T-Twilight?" Spike wheezed. "Trying to not guide me into a panic attack, remember?"

"Oh right! Yes! D-Don't worry! Even if you don't have all the tools to pleasure a girl—"

Spike's expression of sadness was a breed of many branches. “Twilight please.”

"—at least your dick is probably big!"

The dragon's head fell back enough that the rest of his body should have done the same from the weight. Twilight leaned forward and grabbed him at the waist, pulling him back, chuckling out the fear. "O-Or it isn't! But it's more about your dick! You have a tongue too! And that's long. Kinda thin."

"Just kill me already."

Twilight tapped a hoof to her chin in leaning back. "Is none of this helpful? I thought this was supposed to be helping?"

"Oh dear Celestia."

"Okay! Enough about that! No worries about how well you perform! I won't judge you any differently no matter how poorly you do."

"CELESTIA CAST LIGHTING ON ME NOW!"

"Spike! Your voice! Tone it down!" Celestia she was awful at this. Spike was worried being with a mare because of the implication buried within intimacy. That, and a lack of familiarity. He'd never gotten that close with a girl. Never been experiencing that kind of relationship. Poor boy needed experienceto stop being so scared. "Here now. Let's calm this down. Start easy and slow. Come and grab my hoof now."

Spike's turned head cracked open an eye on her, seeing if this was a trap and, at her insistent nodding, looked to the foreleg as though it were a bomb. His claw inched toward it, hovering above the land of violet furs, its shadow gracing over her limb.

"Nice and easy now. You have nothing to be afraid of. Bodily contact is the first thing we need to get you over." Looking down at his claw sparked a feeling in her chest. It was big—yet slender. Firm in a form that was alluring. "Lay on it gently. Scoop it from the underside. Just hold me. Get used to holding me."

The digits twitched in the air but, with a sigh above, the claw went in. Landing atop her wrist with talons resting across it. Each sharp. But resting softly in the miniature furs. They rubbed a little at her skin. Scratching. Not meaning too—yet it caressed, causing the area to be felt.

His claw opened and closed, in little motions, unable to decide what it wanted to do. This was the first time he was holding her as a mare. The warmth of her coat meaning something different as it floated across his scales.

But there was something for Twilight as well. In feeling that claw twist as it collected the broadness of her hoof into the center of his palm. He lifted it. Thumb tracing over the rim of her in as the tip of the digit stroked through the fur and scratched at the skin.

It drew a breath from her. It was a heated one. Nearly composed of steam if the mind wasn't being funny. There was a flush of the same temperature throughout her now. So desperate to be touched by anyone. Feeling so deeply even though nothing was happening.

P-Please. Just leave it alone. Please, just for tonight: stop thinking.

It was nice. His claw working its way down her wrist. Closing around it, squeezing for a second, letting go and caressing the spot in rubbing the flat ends of his digits. It was strange to be felt like this. Limb explored. A foreleg much less. There wasn't anything sexual about it.

Though it was far from their ordinary.

"How are you doing so far?"

Spike hiccuped, and his movement did the same. She looked up to his face to see his set on his claw still. He broke the trance to the shattering of glass in glancing at her. "I'm... I'm alright, I think. S-Still can't believe I'm touching you. That... didn't sound right."

"Please don't worry about it."

He chuckled. "You feel really nice. Like, really nice. I've grabbed your hoof before. Dragged you off to something or another." He chuckled some more, the painful kind, chucked full of regret. "We've even held hooves and claws together a few times. Yet during all of those. I... I've... never taken a second to see how you feel."

"Me?" Twilight grinned up at him with a tilt of her head, feeling the cover of mane floating over the tops of her eyes while, at the sides of her face, a blush started to warm. She found a little confidence in this. Different from the kind held around the girls and dangerous foes. "Or mares in general?"

"Hehehe... dunno!" He was smiling again, one unable to keep, though fought to do so. "Need to feel up another mare to be sure. You have anyone else stored around here?"

"Would you look at that! Seems like pretend dragon isn't all that pretend." Twilight purred, leaning forward, unknown to the origin of this thrill, anxiety gone... due to feeling in charge. "It's your way of dealing with the uncomfortable. How cute! Rainbow Dash is usually up at this hour."

She leaned forward and breathed on his neck, turning away to hide her face, not from shame—but to tease him more. She could hear his rising breath. The worry developed into a sweat. This was on the line of being taken too far. "Maybe invite her to bed now. Then the three of us can have a—"

"You win! You win, you win! You win everything that there is to win in life!" His claw held her tightly, not uncomfortably, but needing its support. Twilight drew back and looked over at it. Head tilting at the view. Not used... to be held as so. "What are you... oh! M-My bad! H-Here."

His digits unwrapped from her wrist.

And her other hoof slammed on him to stop him from doing that.

"N-No that's good! You're holding me! Rather tightly too! Keep it like that."

Spike had leaned back, though kept his claw the same, coming to fall forward again. He nodded, and she let go. The embrace was held between them.

"So how does it feel? Still good, right?"

"Y-Yeah." Spike nodded with the words and breathed as he controlled his chest. "Usually, I would have bolted away. Didn't really expect... to hold you tighter. It was nice, though. Helped me, y'know, not lose myself."

"And that's a part of intimacy! Being close to someone feels good! Helps you get through rough moments."

"To the point, I need to hold you because of my fear of holding you?"

Another snort-chuckle from her. "L-Little bit ironic, huh?"

"No doubt."

Silence held between as the dragon kept his grip. It lessened in the coming seconds—not wanting to be too powerful. Yet discomfort rose at that. So much squish that desired to be squeezed. It was a strange feeling to Twilight. One that she tried to ignore.

"It seems like we've gotten over your fear of holding a mare at least—at least when it comes in terms to a starting intimacy." Twilight laid her other hoof on the claw, urging it to let go, which it did, before guiding it to her shoulders. "Remember. None of this means anything, Spike. Your worth as a dragon and all that isn't on the table. We're doing this purely for the experience, alright?"

Spike nodded once and felt the need to do it twice, which caused him to shiver in stupidity. "R-Right."

"You're not making any promises to me. None of what we do means anything. You've spent your life around mares—but never quite with one." Twilight smiled in feeling his palm rest over her shoulder, wobbling in the bliss of the weight behind it, how it pressed into her body. "If I had to guess—that seems to be the source of your problems. Maybe you're helping me... will help you out too!"

"M-Maybe." His other claw rested on her shoulder, able to hold her in place, not meaning to do so—the force behind his arms teased at. Easily he could push her back and pin her down, and there would be nothing she could do to escape the mass that was him. "So I feel down on you now? Like a doctor?"

That evoked the fluttering of eyes. "Well. Not quiiite. Ponies do sometimes play doctor! But it's not the kind of doctor you're thinking of."

That evoked the closing of his. "Out of all the girls I could have gone to, to teach me all this..."

"H-Hey! I take offence to that!" Twilight yelled. "What's wrong you were taught in the ways of mares by Twilight Sparkle?"

"Everything in that sentence, Twi."

“I'm going to kill you.”

"Killed by Twilight Sparkle has a better ring to it."

"Will you just go down already?"

"U-Uh..."

"DIFFERENT KIND OF DOWN YOU DORK!"

"Right right!Totally wasn't thinking the wrong thing, y'know, in this already perverted situation."

"I WILL make you go down there at this point!"

"Celestia, how these wouldn't be threats to anypony else."

"Celestia herself! Did I sound needy there?"

"Hey! This is my turn for a mental breakdown—you keep your worries until after we're done this."

"Just... move your claws down me already." Twilight wiggled her barrel to the thickness of the pudge that dressed her. Never could she be claimed to be fat. But she stacked, proportionally, all throughout. "Pretend you're giving a massage like usual. Just feel around me. Take your time if you have to."

His claws took to action instead of his mouth. Staring at her shoulders and doing down, feeling across the curve of her limbs to their ends, squeezing her hooves, pulling back to her barrel afterward. Slipping down her sides, sinking more into the fluff, the brushing of her coat sounding in the air.

Celestia, I'm on fire at this point. How hasn't he mentioned the smell yet? Too scared to? He's acting like it's not even there.

Twilight tried not to focus on that. Feeling the need to rub her thighs to put out the fires biting at her lips. Touching, however, did nothing now. Only rubbed and teased to what could be. Feeling herself undulate harder and tighter inside.

Everything went dark as she shut her eyes. Doing her best to focus on everything beyond the heat. Of the claws able to wrap over her sides, the start of her belly and the beginning of her back, unsure of when she would ever feel that kind of sensation again.

The girls before used to hold her. A couple of stallions felt across her at a party or whatever. But even now, her friends struggled to give hugs. She'd grown bigger as she did taller. It was doubtful even Cadance would be able to hold her well anymore.

But those claws? They were large, able to span the full curve of her waist, holding it and making it feel... held. Indeed the dragon might be the only, currently, to be able to hold her, to tuck her into him, to do a bunch of other things that normal stallions couldn't.

Is that irony? Both of us grew big enough for the other? Not that he ever thought that far ahead—or ever felt that way.

She moaned at the sudden feeling of his hold passing over her stomach, cupping it and spreading it around. Sinking into the pudge and the warmth and the softness of her belly. Sharp digits twitching at the skin to make her hoof tap into the mattress and barrel start to wiggle a little.

"Whoa! What's this? Weak spot?"

"Hey, hey! Watch what you're doing mister drake!" Twilight cracked open an eye with a faux look of annoyance. "You're supposed to get used to holding a mare—not finding out where she's ticklish! Careful with touching me too. You shouldn't be caressing my belly like that."

"Worried you're getting fat?"

"W-What! NO! A-Am I?"

"Better go in for a second feel—"

"DON'T YOU DARE!"

"What? Isn't this practice for—"

"MY TUMMY IS OFFICIALLY OFF LIMITS FOR YOU, MISTER!" Twilight crossed her hooves over her chest and turned away, pouting, hating the love she held for all of this. She couldn't escape him either. Letting his claws keep on her. "I swear. You're supposed to be struggling to touch me now. Why aren't you afraid?"

"I am afraid! Just... becoming a little less afraid now." She refused to look even as his claw left her waist and grabbed her hoof, able to do that much easier now, for one reason or another, pulling it to his chest. Through a smooth coating of scales, there, beat rapidly his heart across the surface. "See? Still petrified! Just doing better with it."

Twilight's anger dropped, but her pout did not. "Am I getting fat, though? Be honest with me."

"You're not getting fat—so you can cross off worry fifty-six." His claw left her hoof, though she kept it on his chest, while he returned to her hips. Rubbing across the curve in the realm that was safe. "And what you do have works perfectly on you. There's just so much to you that I want to grab and hold. It's like a tick at the back of the head that makes me want to squeeze you really tightly."

S-So he feels that way too?

"In a way that's not as creepy as I made it sound."

Twilight smiled. "I already said you don't have to worry about anything."

She then glanced down. "And look at you! Your claws feel delightful there."

"They do? I, uh, don't know what I'm doing." Indeed he peered at the happenings of his body as though they were happening outside of him. He chuckled, though, in keeping with them. "Just sort of a sense leading me on. Feels right. You feel really good too. Once more. No creepiness meant."

Twilight shook the mane out of her face as she looked at him better. Her eyes must have been gleaming because it took him for a surprise. His sharp muzzle above. How easily he could become still at the smallest things.

You really... must... not have gotten close to a mare...

"That's probably your dormant instincts coming in." Twilight's hoof swayed in the bottom of her view and, in looking down, saw it rubbing across his chest. Over the little islands of his pecs. Feeling the dense layer of muscle supplement by scales. "Even though you're probably afraid of them, their parts on a mare that you would like to feel. Maybe it's because you want to feel them that has you feeling so afraid in the first place."

Spike shook his head. "Even though I'm already allowed to?"

"Maybe you're scared it won't live up to your fantasy?"

"You already feel better than that—if the heat in my claw wasn't numbing all sensations there."

Twilight blushed at that. He'd given that answer without thinking. Being truthful. This isn't about you. This isn't about Twilight Sparkle. This is about you being a mare to him. Like any other. Don't be losing yourself in silly notions.

"Perhaps because it's actually real and happening? Everyone's nervous before their first kiss—it could be a bit of that."

Another shake of his head. "I never stopped being scared of kissing Rarity."

Twilight's gaze looked to the claws on her waist, rubbing across it, spreading the feeling of love over them. Her fluff and skin were already warm. Yet his claw rose a heat through the two. It reached more between her legs. "But how about this? You're nervous and rubbing me down there—but you haven't exactly dashed out of the room."

"Am I going to regret telling you that?"

"That wasn't me joking around."

His eyes clenched. "Guess I'm still scared around her... just not the kind that's insurmountable." He sighed and reached around to her back. Rubbing up, meshing the flab of her coat, then pulling down, kneading, in a rhythmical pace. "You already know that I'm a wimp. We've agreed to take this slow. A-And touching you... doesn't mean anything more—beyond what we'll end up doing."

That stung, and she winced, and her legs nearly closed. His mouth opened to produce no words except for his head to bow. He concentrated on her. Moonlight washed across the bed and dressed over their forms. His eyes glinted emerald in the white of the stars. He went lower on her.

Twilight's head tilted up with a swallow with a face, squeezing, at feeling his claws slide to her sides. Following the curve, in and out, barrel to hips, coming to cup the latter. His worried glance shot up from down on her.

"Am I... hurting you, Twi?"

Her shivering head shook. "N-No. J-Just... p-p-pleasure's a weird thing." She exhaled steam, and he did the same—except with smoke. "Too little of a good thing e-ends up hurting, somehow." That line reminded her of that wonderfully horrible date. "Please. Just keep touching me. Feel and squeeze anywhere. Be greedy with me."

Spike was breathing through his mouth, and the clouds of smoke did not stop. It was not from greed, of course, in how great it all felt. Rather it that—mixed with fear. How everything good scared him so. He was the most absurd creature to have ever lived.

"Think that's the first time I've ever heard you say that." Twilight looked over the edge of her snout down at him, who stared at her flanks, the bubble of purple, cushy and round, keeping her more than a few inches from the bed. She blushed hotter. "S-So... anywhere is okay?"

Her teeth tore into her upper-lip with a nod barely able to follow.

She felt his claws draw over her hips as his knees stepped back on the bed, a lean in the mattress and a squeak from the springs, as he settled in place, his claws having glossed over her flanks and cross over to the cylinders of her thighs.

Another whimper and warmth fluctuated up her throat in feeling her tail start to swish. Left and right, barely, on the sheets of the bed. Her musk fanned into the air. Powerful and dense. It exposed her. Wounded her. Revealed her shame, its deepest extent, in no way that could be hidden or denied.

But the dragon never made mention of it.

It soon made sense when she could see him further between her legs. Over by his crotch, peeking out, was his cock. Starting to enlarge and expand. Twilight blinked. A flurry of them. He was getting hard. Enough to reveal himself like her.

There was nothing more required of her. No talking or promises or anything. He was getting off to a scent of a mare. Her scent. Was it different from any other girl? Would he be different around any other girl?

Biologically? No.

But he never made it this far with Rarity.

Or anyone else.

Why did being special matter so much to her? She knew that it didn't make sense.

"Twilight?"

"Huh?" Twilight broke from her thoughts only to moan with a raised head at the sudden pressure at her legs. Looking across the smooth slope of her tender belly showed the dragon, poised before it, with his claws cupping close to her haunches. "Mhmm! T-That feels good, Spike."

Spike was looking at her with a happy, lost, and nearly hopeless expression. So lost in the dark, wandering around, in wherever he felt the light to be. He relied on her here. To know what was right or wrong, good or bad, not overall—but just to her.

"Is it weird to say... that I like your thighs?"

Twilight blushed, and her throat became tight, and she glanced away. "I-It's a little strange." She looked back. "But I appreciate it. Do they... feel nice?"

Spike nodded and gave them a squeeze. Her eyes shut once more. Feeling her softness, collapsed into all around, the brushing of his claws, the grip of his palm, the pressure of his hold—all of it, reassuring, that another held her.

Her body normally had meant little to her. Her thighs weren't something on the mind often. But now? She was intensely aware of them. Their shape, how big they were, thickness and density, how they felt at every sensation.

They lost feeling when he let go for a moment. She learned of them again when he held them once more. How, in starting to grip them, how her softness would compress, squish, that delightful feeling of tightness to them both.

And the euphoria at feeling them squeezed.

It unlocked something new in her mind. It dribbled something else from between the pair.

And for a mare who lived inside her mind.

It now allowed her to explore her body.

"I almost feel like I'm enjoying something I'm not supposed to."

Only to be taken out from it.

Twilight was panting. Enough to hear it over the light swishing of her tail and the crinkling of the sheets. Looking over at the dragon with her panting chest in a sigh, she started to speak. "W-Whua? What's wrong? You're doing really good, Spike.”

He blinked and looked up and across at her. His face was in the dark, hard to see, but she could feel his expression. "Am I? I-I mean I'm just touching her. Doing w-whatever feels g-good to me. But... I don't know..."

Twilight became aware her tongue had plopped out of her mouth again. She took it back in, swallowing. Something done for several reasons. "Spike? Have you... not been listening to the sounds I've been making?"

"Y-Yeah! They sound nice! Kinda scary at the same time."

"There better not be a joke waiting for me in that!"

"None! I swear! Just... never see this side to you!" His shoulders dropped, and his claws squeezed her thighs for support. She twitched from a spasm of pleasure—but fought to compose herself. "I never actually heard what you did in the shower. Or ever... make these sounds before."

Twilight hid as much as she could into her grown mane. "Well... I... I don't think I've ever made these sounds before. E-Except that one time. N-Nothing after that."

"Really?"

"Do you make sounds when you... y'know?"

Spike seemed to think about it, still squeezing her, clench and release, pressure, and tension for more. Each one was better than the last. Less shaky. Digits becoming aligned on the swell of her thighs. Bit more confidence in knowing just how much to knead.

Without appearing to be conscious of it.

"I never do, I guess." Spike blinked and looked at his claws. He seemed amazed by them. Still panting in overcoming his fear. Like his arms were independent from himself now. "Never really had anything to push me that far before." Realization caught him. "Wait. Does that mean—"

"Yes, Spike."

"R-Really? No messing around?"

Twilight rolled her eyes through the panting and leaned forward, as much as she could, to brush a hoof on his cheek. She lifted his face so she could better smile at it. "I would never fake something like that around you. Not even sure I could fake sounds I've hardly made before." She blushed with a smirk. "Thiiiink you already know how horrible of an actor I am."

The dragon stopped, not in squeezing, but rather, in his shivering. Coming still as his panting became slower, more controlled, until becoming mere breaths. He seemed to look at her for the first time. At the puffed garden of her belly to the towering tuft of her chest.

Then at her mane, which glistened with sweat, a touch of perspiration over it. Suddenly he leaned forward, rising as he did so, his claws, leaving her thighs, coming onto the bed at her sides. Twilight snuggled downward as he passed above. Looming in the sky, twins moons of green, burning, in a coolness like the real thing.

Her breath caught. Feeling his legs pass between her own. The hint of his weight hovering above her. That face. His muzzle. Those scaly lips, slender and delectable, starting to lower. He jerked in his movement. Not breathing, his strained lungs, nearly squeaking, as he came close.

Twilight's heart thumped and thumped more than her hips did onto the bed in watching him bridge the distance between them. Even though fires burned across her frame, a sweat developing everywhere, she found the courage to raise, to take him, to take the hit, close her eyes, and pass through the hellscape of her fears.

To the lips that awaited her on the other side.

The kiss caught at a smack, and their lips were numb to the feeling. Softness on softness. Plush and still and awkward. They kept like that. Neither knowing what to do. It took a few seconds for the bare sensations to fade. Something else floated from the back of the mind.

Relief.

Even though lips were a strange thing to put together, wet and smooth and, in her case, soft and fuzzy, the two worked against each other. Trying for more of that alien sensation as the weirdness melted into goodness. The wanting to test its every parameter.

Both of them had been kissed before them. By someone else more experienced. Able to take the lead. But here. They had no clue. What to do or what to change. They instead followed whatever their internal compulsion lead.

They kissed. A wet suckle with a teasing of tongues. The touching of the two, on the first brush, sending them back. Spike's claws pushed into the bed as he hovered high above her. He didn't retreat. But the sweat on his scales was starting to pelt her muzzle. She turned her face away on the pillow.

"Spike. C'mon now. You're sweating on me now."

"A-Am I? Right, right! Wait, no. Not right! Wrong! Very wrong!"

Spike fell back to sit on his knees and wiped a forearm over his head, wiping off the sweat, only to look at his arm, finding it soaked, and having washed himself more. He ducked to the side and used some of the blankets to wipe himself.

He stopped midway, hunched over, with a whimper. "E-Er, s-sorry for running your sheets."

Twilight forced herself to smile as she laid back. "Spike? I kinda already beat you to the punch on that one."

His eyebrows rose until they fell back to between her legs. Where the waft of sex was most potent and had burnt his snout with its intensity. He chuckled. Coming back over into that infernal. He was still scared, but now, much less so, in coming to lie down on his belly.

His face bunched and his hips rocked for a moment. Twilight quickly guessed why. Then he crawled over, onto the puddle, with flanking thighs at his sides. He looked up at the mare, who had decided to sit propped on the pillows.

And then she gave him a nod.

Author's Note

And the series returns with the awkward friends in the bedroom! It feels weird to have these sexy bits so far spaced apart, but hey, it allows for hype to be built and whatnot. I'm still the kind of person who prefers to have all of their content released all at once—but here's to trying new things.

I'll try to release chapters that are around 7.5K in length as to have a sizeable chunk to read. I'll see if there's anything unique in releasing stories over a long period of time. It allows me to be more active. For readers and comments to speculate what they think might happen.

Comments. Please leave me a lot of those. I treasure them dearily.

Here's to waiting for next week to be able to read a full sex scene.

Cheers!
~ Yr. Pal, B

III | Together in Bed
View Online

Heated Into Weakness

III | Together in Bed

~ III ~

Together in Bed

Spike swallowed as his claw pulled away the strands of her tail, which were wet, and stuck across the mounds of her sex. His every heartbeat exploded in a tension that pounded in the inside of his chest. The tail drew back, and he laid it on the side.

Revealing the one part on the mare he never expected to see.

Her flanks were parted a little to reveal her glistening sex. Glossed by her wetness with the thickness of her vulva encapsulating his vision. Air sweltered here. Stinging his snout and nipping at his scales with burning musk. His mouth opened to reveal it salivating. Dry. Parched. Thirsty.

His claws reached for her thighs, to raise and spread them, to squeeze and hold them. He looked up at Twilight; she always was above him. Looking over herself to see him down here. Always so high. So mighty. So great and everything.

How her mane swayed before her panting face. Redness over purple and a cute muzzle delightfully wrinkled by pleasure. The embodiment of adorableness. None were able to see this side of her. Much less him seeing her so much like a girl. Always so smart, snarky and powerful.

He almost wondered if any other side of her existed. If she was just different from all mares.

But he'd never been so wrong in his life in seeing the beauty that she could become now. How lucky anyone would be to see her so much like a girl. His heart panged. More so wanting to please her than his fear of her. Enough that, no matter how much his heart stumbled, or his claws fumbled.

He'll follow through on what he felt he needed to do.

"Any, uh, guidance on this?"

"Uhh... have you tried licking it?"

"Are you reading me a manual, Twilight?"

"No, no! It's just that's what they always say! It's not like I've been able to do that myself—it's still new for me!"

"Right, right." Spike looked at the plushness of her vulva, unsure if it was something meant to be licked. The slit between was what scared him the most. As did the nub at the top. How it peeked out, growing and twitching, a little redness aflame beneath its skin. "Well. Here goes nothing."

His eyes closed, and he went for the lick. Feeling softly coals that burnt his tongue with a taste of something close to honey. It didn't have flavouring. Thin. Sticky. Devoid mostly of taste. There was a touch of something.

"Huh." Spike pulled away for a second. "Romance novels always make it out to be like honey or butter or something like that."

The flanking legs closed onto the sides of his head before immediately pulling away. Once he was this close, she could no longer hide away from him. There was a moral in that, somewhere. Although he didn't think too terribly long about it.

"D-Does it taste bad? Because the other stallion said..."

"...said what?"

"Whmmmm." Twilight whimpered and buried her face into her hooves. "That I was beautiful and that I tasted delicious."

"Pftt."

"Hey! Don't you push this!" Another mummer and whimper and a crossing of forelegs over her chest. "Not when my heart's about to explode."

"Then we can explode together, Twi." Suddenly he was becoming calmer. Smoother. Able to float in the new kind of air—even the feminine sauna before him—with ease. It all still scared him. But his partner no longer did. "I'm not so sure about delicious. But that stallion was right. You are beautiful."

She was still in heaven, hiding behind her mane, where her words passed through. "Everywhere?"

That wasn't a question to be answered with words. She knew of his fear, and now, he was grateful for it. He went back into her sex, licking it, exploring, experimenting, his snout brushing into the flesh. Her back lifted and dropped as the rest of her spasmed from the contact. Little shivers that wiggled her barrel in place.

His tongue dared to slip into her slit into a sensitive place. He was inside of her. Inside of Twilight. Where everything was living, breathing, opening and closing, wet and slimy, the air, within, prickling on his tongue. His heart stopped, but he went one. Testing against a wall, its curve and shape, the warm, spongy surface, that he pressed a little into.

To legs closing onto his face and those bulbous thighs snuffing him into her pussy.

The intensity lasted for only a second as the dragon surrendered himself. Feeling his face buried into her vulva as the thighs rose and lowered on his head, that amount of squishy, rubbing into him itself a delight. His snout brushed into that nub at the top of her lips. Different ways due to the direction of her legs.

Then a gasp from above caused the legs to fall away.

"Spike! I am SOSOSOSO sorry! I swear to you that did not mean to—"

"Everywhere and everything." His breath caught in time to be used. Inhaling her fumes and not minding if that was the case for the rest of his life. "You're beautiful. In how you looked in losing yourself and how it felt to be buried into you. But, uh, warning next time?"

Twilight nodded. "Of course."

"It seems like you wanted something from me there." He coughed and resumed his smile. "Did you, um, have something you'd like me to do?"

She nodded quicker than she would have liked. "Do you see at the top of me there? Little round ball? My clitoris—or 'clit' for short?"

Spike chuckled as his muzzle rose to the fuzzy nub peeked from its hood. His breath washed across it, to the shaking of the thighs within his claws. He stopped them crushing him this time. "Sexual slang and anatomy with Twilight Sparkle."

"Spiiike."

"Sorry. Don't wanna kill the mood here. Continue."

"Now you're making me feel like a teacher reading from a textbook."

"I'd be down for that fantasy, teach."

"When is it my turn to be the confident one again?"

"Dunno." Spike shook his head, and his frills brushed across her skin. "The feeling kind of fluctuates, doesn't it?"

"Mmhmm." Twilight decided to get on with it. "A-Anyway. You're going to have to be super careful with this, okay? You can't be doing what you did with my thighs."

The clit seemed to be throbbing toward him. Wanting something. Needing anything.

"Too little of a good thing hurts," Spike rattled as his head bounced with the thought. "And too much of a good thing also hurts. I guess even sex is down to a balance."

"So please be gentle." Twilight leaned back into her chamber of pillows, trusting in him. She looked to the ceiling, fearful, like a patient in a dentist's chair. "I'll try to talk through what I feel. I-If I can't... well... my reactions should be enough to guide you."

"No more words to dress up how you're feeling?"

"Spike."

"Sorry. Really am. Sorry. Just never got this point of... being the one not as scared."

"You don't have fangs about to be set on your most sensitive part."

"I won't hurt you, Twilight."

"Promise?"

"Whisk out my own teeth if that'll make you feel better."

"Something tells me bloody gums won't be much of an improvement."

"There's your confidence back."

"Bravado."

"Bravo!"

"You're an idiot."

“Your idiot.” He raised her legs apart for better access. "Here goes nothing!"

His lips settled on it, the feeling of thin fuzz to soft flesh, a little squish to a density behind it. Kissing it drew a shudder of kicks from flanking legs as he deepened it. Loving the murmurs. The halted breaths. The wiggling inside of goodness that rocked the mare.

Spike's eyes closed as he took the nub into his mouth, very gently, not even allowing his fangs to so much as grace it. His frills kept attentive to her sounds. Those hitched groans. The tapping of a hoof into a bed. Flanks grinding back and forth to endure the goodness in store.

He let it rest inside for the moment as to let the mare transition into it.

"Mhmm! Mhmmm."

His eyes glanced up over the sheet of a purple field and up at the mare. Twilight had laid her head back into the pillows, her eyes, clenched, with forehooves that searched across her chest—fuzzing it up. Unable to stop a whimper and a whinny as sweat rolled down her face.

Seems like she's used to the feeling of it now. She's in pain. Too little of a good thing? At least it means I'm doing good.

Spike started to suckle on the little ball, pushing upon it with his lips, moving it around, little by little, to listen to the different moans. To the left, they were lower but, in being raised, and touched to the right—she nearly screamed in a growl of satisfaction.

Something warm dribbled onto his chin. His eyes glanced down to catch the honey smearing across it. Pressed into her folds, which glistened from the love, which also splattered onto her thighs, catching to her coat, the rest dribbling onto the outward swell of her flanks.

It should have been terrifying to be between the legs of a girl. To have never seen a pussy, now, to having to pleasure one. To get close and to lick and to do several things. It should have been scary and disgusting and the whole thing awkward.

But those years of fear, after a conversation of acceptance, and moments of practice, made the whole thing easier. Twilight wasn't faking those sounds. The reactions of her body. They were real, raw, and caused by him. He saw a direct response to his service.

He always liked to make others feel good. And being able to do that, now, to a mare... to Twilight. It caused his tongue to wrap around her clit, wrapping and wrapping, to a lurch from the girl in feeling her pleasure now squeezed on.

His tongue wrapped around the sides of the nub as his lips massaged the top and bottom of it. His warm breath soaked its shape, and the end of this tongue flicked all over it. Testing. Eyes set over the expanse of her tummy. Watching for everything.

Spike wanted to learn more about this. For countless reasons that did not matter as only the act itself did. He wanted to learn where all her spots were. The overly sensitive places where he could draw a happy scream if needed.

It reminded him of when they were younger. In bed in the covers together, his claws searching over her body, caressing Twilight, searching for her ticklish spots. Where she was strong and weak. Nearly like a dog as some areas could get her left leg to kick and others her right.

It was that same urge, now, to study her everything. To know where to please, for how long and in what order, watching her writhe in pleasure. Spike licked and flicked. Watching her shudder and flick from one side to another. The set inch that would cause her hips to arch off the bed for but a second.

You were supposed to be walking me through this with words.

But maybe... this way... is more natural...

...and better.

Twilight could barely suppress the urge to close her legs onto the back of his head, stuffing him as much as she could inside, all to ride more of that amazing feel. The licking of fire, the bathing of steam, the euphoria that ranked supreme.

And she hardly could take it anymore.

"Mmhmm... S-Spike.... p-please..."

Twilight looked over her barrel and down at him, his eyes lifting to return the exchange, slowing in his movements. She could barely speak over her panting and the occasional slip of a moan. But she swallowed. And tried.

"F-Finish me... p-please... I've... be-en like th-is for so long... it hurts... d-don't... m-m-make me a-a-a-asssskkkk...."

It was in the glow of his eyes. The glint to tease and expose her. To make a harmless wisecrack of how sensitive and vulnerable and horny the know-it-all, nerd and princess, that Twilight Sparkle had become. It would have annoyed her but not much more. Embarrassing to exist in this kind of state.

But that glint faded in catching her expression. Just how vulnerable she was. Never having asked someone to fuck her before. The wisecrack and snarks and like died inside of Spike. Instead, he nodded.

Then she could feel it. The need to shut her eyes and open her mouth and let whatever rage through her take its course. How that tongue still kept on her clit as it extended downward. Passing inside of her, searching, travelling further than before.

Twilight bucked her hips and rode into his face, no longer caring as the dragon did not raise a fuss, being a conduit for her pleasure. There was that itch deep inside. Building with the pressure that was behind it. Tickles of his tongue sliding toward it. Everything inside, closing, to clench on what little there was.

And then he found it, and a gasp broke from her.

"S-Spike! There! There! Focus there!"

There were better words unable to be said as the mare lurched forward and, supporting a hoof to the back of the dragon's head, stuffed him harder between her legs. They closed as well, her thighs on his sides, locking him against her pussy.

She'd always thought that something more would be required to do that. More experience, confidence, or something like that. It wasn't a power play or anything more. Rather just what her body did in wanting to capture more of that melting and gooey goodness inside.

His tongue brushed over a swell in the flesh that was hard, sensitive, and enough to make her leg kick onto the bed. Driving her hips to rock forward and her thighs to clench tighter on his head. Spike must have held his breath and gone in, suckling on her clit, licking at her spot, without restraint, feeling the building happening inside of her.

Twilight couldn't do anything else but have her hooves set into her muzzle as she finally came. The torment of weeks, and the highest heat that boiled inside, were released, in all but a moment. She felt it. That expansion beneath the skin like steam inside a potato in expanding pressure to escape.

Everything inside had lowered and condensed and flushed out from between her legs. The burning skin, cooling, as that bite was taken with her releasing current. Everything about her was calming as she moaned into her hooves with a squeak behind them.

Douses of honey had splashed out from between her legs, splash after splash, current after current, that building pressure, released into pleasure, as the girl lurched, clenched, and then deflated. She fell back with a goofy expression and a panting mouth. Eyes dilated and glowing much softer now.

She loved the feeling. Everything flushing out between her legs. How it slowed and thinned and left her empty. Deep breaths were composed of her musk and, while it stank, it was a smell she was getting used to.

And the nuzzling into her folds, and the tickling on her thighs, also were lovely.

"Spike... mhmm... o-oh—OH!"

Twilight peered up and over herself to see the dragon still buried into her crotch, looking at her legs and their lock, coming to unwrap herself at once. Spike's head slipped free from her valley as he came to rise and sit on his knees. His eyes opened, and he breathed for the first time in a while, starting to blink in seeing the world again.

Something dripped from his chin.

The lifelong friend sat a foot apart from each other, both panting for different reasons, each having travelled to the other side of intimacy for the first time. They'd done everything together—but they doubted they would do this as well.

Twilight didn't say anything as she didn't know what to say.

Thanks?

Are you okay?

Did you want me to return the favour?

Her heart startled on that last one. But the gleam on his face caught another interest. Without words, she raised a hoof to her cheek, brushing it, to notion something on his. Spike's eyes carefully narrowed as he wiped a claw on his face and wiped some of her honey.

Holding that claw before his face, and looking at hers between his digits, he then brought it close... and started to lick.

"S-SPIIIKE! C'MON NOW! SERIOUSLY?"

Spike chuckled as he faltered onto his knees. He looked down at himself. "Sorry. Just... after that. I couldn't keep myself from a joke."

"You're the worst."

"Now I can't say 'your worst.'"

Twilight sighed and laid back on the pillows enough to still see him. "Maybe I am the worst, though." Her legs closed, and she winced. "Sorry about that, b-by the way. Closing you in there and..." her voice trailed away in a squeak.

Spike held up a claw. "Don't worry about it! So long as it helped you—I didn't care what happened to me." Her hurt expression caused him to turn his claw, seeing the remaining butter dashed across it and, bringing it to his chest, wiped it off there this time. "And... to be honest? It felt delicious too."

Twilight laid on her mane and looked at him from under her bangs. "Really?"

"Y-Yeah! I mean." He cleared his throat. "You're really soft. Fuzzy too. I just want to squeeze every part of you." His blush over his snout caused him to look away. "I've always been scared of a mare's... y'know, thing. Just of all the ways it could go wrong. How I would need to live it up for Rarity and..."

Spike exhaled and fell onto his rump. "Just that there were a lot of expectations that I was afraid of. Then you started to make a lot of good sounds, and you would rub your thighs into me. After that... all I cared about was making you feel good."

He started to wipe the rest of his face. "Even though I don't think I can get used to tasting a girl's... one of these days I'll be able to use that word... none of that mattered in making you happy. I was willing to do anything for that."

Twilight once more had to clench her heart and cross her forehooves to block herself off from what was developing. Spike was speaking about how all of this was to him. His talks of making her happy... it was to get her off. To help. This was his first time, but he would want to make any partner, happy.

You're nothing special to him. Don't read into his words. Stop it.

"And..." Twilight muttered in breaking from her thoughts. "It felt good?"

"Y-Yeah! Once you get over the smell—it's actually kinda addicting."

"Even with the legs and—"

"They were soft and being pressed against you, dunno, for the same reason I want to squeeze you, I think, is the same reason why you squeezed me there. Er, get me?"

"Think I do... and it really felt good?"

"Well... yeah? More so getting you off than anything else."

"Me me?"

"Yes. You you."

"No no. Like getting a mare off?"

"No no. Getting you you you off."

"H-How can you be sure?"

"I dunno... feeling? Maybe I'd go through all that to get someone else off if I had to but... I-I... don't think it would have felt as good." Spike lowered his head, thinking it through. "I love you, Twilight. You're my greatest friend. You're the only friend I could do all of this with and have nothing change. We're weird, yet, we understand and accept each other. It's because of you I want to throw a mile at."

“Run a mile for.”

"Nah. I'm straight up picking and chucking a mile to show how much I care for you."

"Mile of stoooone or?"

"Does it matter?"

"Mile of road is heavier than a mile of grass."

"Isn't a mile of anything already good enough for you, selfish mare?"

“I am a selfish mare. Asking my best friend to do all this. Yet... I... like it?"

"I'm sure there's a lot of girls that like being pampered out there."

"I never expected myself to be one of them! But I liked being sexually pampered and—GAH! NOT LIKE THAT! NONONO!"

Spike chuckled and started to crawl forward on his knees, hovering over her body; something pink had glinted beneath him. He then lowered, his scales brushing against her fur, his hardness dropped onto her softness, his face set onto hers.

All to kiss her cheek.

"I do this so you don't have to taste yourself." Twilight would have smacked him off if she could not feel his heartbeat against her own. How quickly it pumped, not from getting off like her, but rather, still the fear of all this. It didn't get easier for him. Just that his bravery increased for her. "But you don't have to sweat yourself, Twi. You're entering a new world."

Twilight groaned and looked away from him, and she prayed he did not leave, despite not hinting for him to stay. Still, he kissed her cheek. Leaving a trail all the way to her ear—which twitched in anticipation. "A-Already did that in becoming a princess."

"Not like that." That voice whispered into her ear, tender and fragile, which did it's best to reassure her in a way not done before. She'd never been this close, in all regards, to another. Spike used to give her pep talks. But never had he delivered it like this—which felt raw and more fulfilling. "Being a princess learning how to conduct yourself to the world. What you're already like with friends."

His muzzle dug beneath her ear, sniffing the lavender in her mane, drunk on the smell, unable to get enough. Then he pulled back to speak again. "But this? You... have to surrender yourself in it. No knowledge or magic or power to hide behind. You have to expose yourself. Sensitively revealing all that you need—which someone can easily hurt you with."

That night... never... never again.

"How... when did you start talking like this?" Twilight didn't turn her head but knew her words reached him. "You're not normally like this."

He chuckled and planted his face into the side of hers. "One too many mistakes with Rarity. I... don't normally act like this either. New w-world for me too. You... can easily use all of this against me too."

"I never would."

"And neither would I against you."

Twilight knew better than to open her arms, but she did so, wrapping them around the dragon, the best she could, before pulling him in. Hugging him as to refill that emptiness in the center of her being. No more words. Pure contact needed. The refilling of love that no other, friend or book, could provide.

"I know it all sounds so... scary... and strange... but you'll be okay." The dragon whispered through her coat and into her skin as his breath washed across it. "It may be a great surprise to you that you like... s-sex and whatnot... because of how you lived. But you're not different from other mares. Just didn't have the same life as the rest of them."

Twilight whinnied and turned her head. "Still wished I phrased it better."

"It's okay... I'll sexually pamper you as much as you like... and wished I phrased it better as well."

Twilight groaned with hidden delight. "You're so sweet that I hate you."

"What can I say? It's my mission in life to disappoint mares."

"Not cute."

"That tends to be the reason why."

“Spiiike!”

"Sorry."

Twilight didn't know when sleep had come in the late hours of the night, held by another in her bed, feeling loved and scared, for so many reasons, from the cock that had been pressed into her belly, to the words of the loving dragon.

She recalled closing her eyes, and keeping awake, in his arms, listening to his breathing, feeling the idle stroking of his claw. It came to stop when he fell asleep. She had turned, tucking herself into his torso, and he hugged her like a pillow.

Thankfully his dick had eventually gone away.

She wanted to think more about it all.

Until sleep had come.

Sensations of life thickened and spread throughout her frame as consciousness blossomed from a little light inside. The urge to groan and stretch out her legs and arch her back to feel the pleasant bend of her spine. The popping of overnight kinks flooded relief.

But the crinkling of the sheets, the shifting of the blanket, the warming rays of the morning sun, were nothing, zero, compared to the sensation behind and around her. It took a few moments of being alive to feel the arms around her barrel. Wrapped. Tightly. Hugging her close.

Twilight's eyes slipped open to the blinding of gold to the calming of the morning. Sunlight washing in from the distant window and drifting across the side of her bed. Her forehooves laid over the blanket, skin licked by the sun, furs warmed by it.

It took work to inch her muzzle down the pillow, a bunched cheek so eyes could see below, over her chest which had been claimed. Two strong arms wrapped over it with glimpses of claws set on her sides. Tuft of coat was out in the spaces between. And she felt nicely squeezed.

Twilight didn't need to look behind to feel the sensation there. Of the large, smooth frame, curved to her own, which she was snuggled against. So big and so smooth. Vast enough to be appealing but not so much as to be scary. It was a feeling of paradise.

Of feeling protected.

"Mhmm..." Twilight groaned in a girlish whimper in not wanting to twist as to break away from him, but wanting to feel more of it, whatever it was that they had. How his scales brushed into her coat. The feeling of her skin rubbing into him. "Mhm."

It was silly for her to feel protected. Her friends did that for her, of course, when it came to certain matters. But Twilight had never needed the aid of a stallion before. Her size, magic, power, and royalty were often the reasons why she had saved the world countless times.

Her friends were there but, most of the time, it was just her, and that was that.

But it would be nice to know it all didn't depend on me.

That little voice whispered. Those battles and fights. How nice it would have been to have faltered, to not have invented the plan. To have laid defeated, and another walked in her place, finishing the fight, coming back to pick her up, walking away with her in Spike's arms.

Waht?

Twilight wiggled against the thought and in so doing, caused a groan from the dragon who, even in sleep, fearing the worst, decided to let go. His arms fell away and he rolled the same, freeing the mare into being alone.

Twilight flipped to her other side, feeling and hearing the brushing blanket, the impressing mattress, and the sinking of pillows beneath their weight. She looked over the foot of distance to the back of the dragon. Turned away. Giving Twilight her space.

She looked down.

Even beneath the covers, bathed in sunlight, she felt, suddenly, a frost shivering over her coat. That warmth that had been hugged into her, now spread and thinned out. She had everything she needed.

But nothing of what she wanted.

Twilight snaked a hoof to her face to stare at it, not sure why it had grabbed her interest, only that she would imagine that it belonged to someone else. Or that they were suddenly holding it. Her eyes glossed over to the dragon and reached out to him—but that did nothing as he slept.

The hoof dropped.

What was she to do? Hug him from behind? His spines were in the way... though maybe nuzzling into those would be nice. Another shake of the head at that. Twilight didn't have any reason to hug him now. Her problem was heat and that lust was taken care of last night.

And the dragon only hugged her in her fear of waking up, alone, like she had done that night so long ago. Now, though, there was no other reason for them to be close. This wasn't even him hugging her.

But the reverse.

He doesn't need it. I wouldn't be doing it for him. I... oh... what am I even thinking about anymore? Hugging feels good. That's why you want to do it. But... maybe... he'll get the wrong impression? After all, for you to hug him, it means the initial hug was broken, and that you went after it again because—

Twilight was breathing through her mouth to repress the beating of her heart as the morning anxieties whizzed the bubbling beach inside her head. She'd already exposed herself enough last night. Allowing herself to be weak as so he could tend to her better. That itself was already too revealing.

Becoming a princess had meant to be strong and, nowhere on the way, had Celestia taught her how to be weak. Twilight needed to appear as better. To seem like she was more. From that book-nerd to the one able to save the world. A mare that others looked up to. Place hope in.

She swallowed and her heart thumped and the world seemed like it was about to be over for her. Her body shuffled over the bed as the thoughts raced to the dragon. How he'd lost his love, was scared of romance, and yet, did it all as to help her.

But he was only there to help her. With the heat. That would be it and all. Not only that, but because he had broken through that first barrier of intimacy—something that terrified him for years—maybe now he could go back to Rarity. Or some other mare. He'd gotten what he needed from her.

Spike would help her. But only with the issues she stated. She needed to get rid of her lust to be a good ruler. The other insecurities could be taken care of by her friends. It wouldn't be fair to dump all that on him. Or place any more expectations on him than the ones he was already struggling to fulfill.

Once the heat was gone, he would be the same, as he was before, leaving her once more.

Don't get attached to a best friend that won't be there.

Twilight's eyes broke from the thoughts to look into the world once more. It layered in purple scales as the smooth and leather-like texture of a frill was brushing into her cheek. She blinked. Her foreleg laid over the side of the dragon, as she laid into him, taking his heat, loving his texture, and needing his embrace.

And the dragon gave a satisfied huff on the other side.

When had she scooted over and hugged him? So consumed by her thoughts that her body acted on what it needed by itself. Able to go on for so long without another due to not knowing what she had been missing out on. Now she had it. If only for a little while.

And the time that came afterward would be all the more worse for it.

Unless I... find somebody else...

Did that mean she would find someone else? That she would be the first princess to rule with a prince? Or would someone else even want to be a prince? Not only to date her but to also endure the scandal of politics and the weight of responsibility.

Celestia did it alone for a thousand years—but did that mean Twilight had to base everything on her mentor? Do it like her and like so? Would it be wrong to have another? Why did Celestia not have another did? Was there something wrong with it?

There was no stopping the thoughts, and Twilight whimpered, pressing her face into the dragon's back.

Maybe there was a fear in being betrayed. Or knowing that the stresses wouldn't allow the relationship to survive. Or maybe the love would perish and the two would keep together for show. That wasn't much better than being alone. She could maybe date on the side—but a princess couldn't simply take a colt, now and again, into her room.

It'd have to be a proper romance.

And she couldn't even find that before the tiara.

Would she have to become stronger than? Enough to take care of herself? To win all those fights without much else to depend on? To lose that feeling of being protected and replace it with the notion of protecting others?

Celestia was a mother to the world who did all the above, as was expected with a ruler like her and, maybe, the same was expected with the soon to be ruler of Twilight. Maybe that's why she fell the course she did. Never finding love or romance but rather strength in practices and nourishment from friendship.

She wasn't any better than Spike in having avoided romantic intimacy herself throughout her life. The idea of a kiss—and more—always so appealing as well as intensely scary. Showing her naked body to another. Something she could barely look at... somehow expecting another to love.

How could someone else love what you did not love yourself? Was it because they saw something you didn't? But Twilight pondered every matter from incalculable angles and never came away with a better answer than self-loathing at everything that dealt with those parts of her.

Princess Celestia knew that Twilight would also become a ruler, and so, in knowing that the girl would like to keep alone, that her closest act of intimacy would be a hug with a friend, choose her, knowing that she would become strong like her, through fights and challenges, and would not ever stumble onto the path of love.

That's why she was chosen, maybe.

Because Twilight would walk her life without ever considering what it felt like to love another and be loved in turn. Were it not for lust, or the heat of her body, this would have kept true, maybe.

"Remember your breathing. You're alright now. Count to three with me."

Twilight snapped from her thoughts in shock and embarrassment and the need to fall back into character. Smart and high and snappy. Witty and with a comeback that hid her vulnerabilities. Trying as she might, however, she couldn't seem to surface through the usual consciousness that haunted her.

In being alone, she got better in enduring it, but sometimes...

"C'mon now. On the squeeze of my claw." The dragon turned, and the mare scooted back, but his other arm came over her side and pulled her back. The two were close enough for their snouts to touch. The green of his eyes drew her into those peaceful pools. "One... in... keep it in... now out. Good. That's it. Rep two now. In..."

Twilight couldn't think about what she was being told, a deep trust of the dragon, taking over, that did everything he said. Her change in breathing surprised her, a soft squeeze to inhale, it kept as oxygen did the same in her lungs, that was, until it released, her mouth did the same with an exhale.

It took a few intervals, something that should have taken moments, going on for minutes, which she needed to be better at. The dragon didn't mind. Seeming as though he could keep this way for hours. His lack to rush allowed her to feel the same.

And once her breathing, and heartbeat, return to cadence, of course, a joke was the first thing out of her. "And where is the dragon supposedly afraid of intimacy?"

His claw squeezed her hoof. "Still right here."

Twilight smiled. It was always the dragon cracking jokes and she got annoyed at him for it. Though, in thinking back, he probably got it from her in the first place. Her eyes retreated beneath her bangs as they were her eternal protection.

"...thanks, Spike."

His claw kept squeezing her hoof.

"Um."

His claw stopped.

"Aren't you... going to ask me... about stuff?"

"How's stuff going?"

"Spiiike."

"Sorry! Just figured you'd tell me if you need to."

"Don't you want to know? I-I mean. Hugging you and b-breaking down and—"

"Careful! Or we'll be going back to step one."

Twilight took her breaths, fairly spaced apart, and went again.

"Sorry."

His claw hovered to her muzzle and, while she twitched away, his claw paused and, after a few moments, came closer, and she remained still. His digits brushed through her mane as velvet stroked between them. Her blush increased, and shame rose at revealing so much of her forehead.

And her cover.

"Spike! Don't! You know I don't like how I—"

Her words stopped at feeling his kiss below her horn as his claw brushed her hair, tucking them to the side, all so that, when he pulled away, they could properly look into each other's eyes. He was smiling. Genuinely. No forced, but rather, something evoked.

By her.

"Sorry." His smile almost made the apology insincere. "I just wanted to see your face."

Twilight's blush took to anger and she looked aside, heart still hammering, chest still clenched, finding it harder to breathe. Anxiety, however, did not rise. Embarrassment and shame. Maybe. But never fear. These things to anyone else, maybe.

But she could not fear her dragon.

"With a line like that—Rarity should have been yours."

Her words stabbed inward at the insult meant to be harmless. Despite it all, she didn't want to hurt him—no matter what he was putting her through. Yet she couldn't will herself better on it.

"She was." His smile softened as his claw pulled away, allowing her mane to cover her face, though it lowered to her neck, brushing the hair there. "Told her everything that was right. Just... couldn't follow through on it at the end."

That'd been enough.

"I'm sorry, Spike." Twilight peeked out from her mane to stare up at him with glinting eyes. "I didn't mean it like that."

"I know what I deserve when I tease you like that." His smile did not go away even as it was slashed by the words of the past. They stung. And he looked away as he talked about them. "But there's not much use in a dragon who can say sweet things but not do them. Plus, with Rarity... well, it was beyond sweet that gave me trouble."

Spike turned and dropped onto his back, lying there, staring into the ceiling. Moments later, a muzzle hovered over his vision, Twilight, peering down, doing her best to smile. She lowered for a moment. Kissing his cheek. As she had done for him so many years ago.

"Am I about to hear some details about my friend that I shouldn't be hearing?"

"A gentledrake never speaks poorly of a lady—especially when there's nothing there to speak poorly of." The dragon hadn't been expecting the mare to lower onto him, with a snuggle into his side, laying her head on his chest. It caught him. And a moment later—it caught her too. "Just that I couldn't fulfill the needs of that lady—or that mare."

Despite the shock to them both, the mare did not move, keeping close, intimate, with the two enjoying a tinge of familiarity. Spike looked to the ceiling, with an arm around Twilight's neck, stroking her mane still, needing to do so to have the courage to speak.

"The romance was easy for lack of better words." His arm became snug around Twilight's neck, rubbing against it, delighting in how it felt. How she felt. So good and so close. So warm and so nice. There was always the urge to take her into a hug and be like that until the end of time. "All the dates and gifts and conversations and even kisses. Could do them all alright. That's the part of me that Rarity fell for."

Twilight shifted against him. "But the sex?"

"Couldn't do it." Spike huffed longingly to feel the mare nuzzle into his deflating chest, with a hoof pressing onto it, rubbing, to help set him at ease. She didn't seem like she knew what she was doing. Nothing told her what was. Rather she fell into a sense. "Was a coward to her every advance. Leaving the shower door open. Moaning loudly in the bedroom as I got home from work."

Another sigh. "All the stuff a normal guy could rave about."

Twilight laid still against and atop him. Her muzzle rose up on his pec to gaze into his face. "None of you was turned on by that, though? I mean. Surely. Some part of you wanted to... y'know."

And then there was this again. Where the friends could be close, closer than close, and speak about anyone or anything. That they would be understood. Never judged. That the full story could come out without fear to how it would be perceived.

"Of course." Spike nodded. "Rarity was rocking because I have no way to phrase it better. Just... augh. She was dynamite, Twilight. Rump and it all. Just that rump. Oh, Celestia, that rump."

Twilight snickered and bopped his snout with a hoof. "Always knew you were heavily into flanks."

"A-And don't forget flanks that are heavy."

“Which makes me wonder why you didn't grab mine...”

"Come again?"

Twilight huffed and flushed and her mane rubbed into her chest. "N-Nothing! Just... w-wondering, y-y-y'know? Why you..." She cleared her throat and, on it clenching to ask him that question. Instead, she had to redirect and go for something else. "...you loved her, w-w-wanted her body so... so... wh... what held you?"

Spike breathed deeply and looked as high as he could in pondering the answer. "I guess... I just couldn't get over myself, is all. Certainly... j-jerked it enough after those advances. Celestia, I don't think I ever told you I did that before."

"Kinda figured you already did."

"Har."

"But I... I just don't know." Twilight laid her face into his scales and breathed against them, needing to escape him while still being close. She was a mess. Nothing ever making the sense that it should. Her voice came muffled against his body. "Just everything was there. And Rarity is so much better than me. So why..."

Spike looked down in finishing the thought. "Why was I able to push through for you and not her?"

Twilight's face rubbed up and down against him, her mane brushing the place, as nothing else of her could be seen.

Spike took a deep breath. "Don't think I can answer that question, really. I had months to get over myself and get with Rarity." And then let go. "But always walked away from the door. Went back into the hallway. She tried to assure me with words. But she... never quite assured me like you."

Now Twilight's face brushed up to gaze at him. Her voice sounded swollen. Defeated, nearly.

"Come again?"

"It's just, well, with you... we're... already close." His arm kept brushing down her mane and neck, which she wiggled into, subconsciously, to both of their delights. "It wasn't all that hard to get intimate with you. Like all those nights in Canterlot, you and I, snuggled beneath the covers, reading a book before bed."

A sore past crept into his voice. "We always were a bit more affectionate in Canterlot, weren't we? More 'I love yous' because that was what we were taught to say—without grasping what that meant."

Twilight grumbled and looked down. "And all the times I let you fall on your face."

"Hey! I didn't say you'd become a good mare yet."

"Spiiike."

"Am I wrong?"

Twilight huffed and wanted to cross her arms and instead wrapped them over the dragon. "Mmhm."

Spike chuckled and raised his claw to her head, rustling her mane, to which, her eyes closed, and a blush appeared beneath. He went on as his head dipped in a loving tilt. "Point is... we were already close. I could hug and snuggle and say 'I loved you' without suffering a breakdown for it. Then we came here and, well, things started to diminish but..."

Now it was Twilight's turn to laugh. "Now that you mentioned it... sharing a bed... enjoying a hug... getting me through a breakdown... helping me with a stack of work... all of it." She climbed over his body, sliding her chest over his, all so her face could touch his. "I always thought I was alone then. Yet, I never felt it. Because I always had you."

She paused in her advance as her selfishness dawned. She looked away. Now ashamed.

"Now I just sound like a horrible contradiction." Her voice slashed at itself. "Getting everything I needed while thinking I d-deserved better. Put... putting you through so much wrong... and never showing you the appreciation that you deserved for it.”

She retreated an inch and still looked away, and would have gone further, were it not for the claw that cupped the back of her head. "Little love and a whole lot more wrong. Taking you after you failed with Rarity to again help you with my needs. And I never did anything in return for you."

Her eyes squeezed to suppress the stinging that welled from them.

"Why Spike? Why... do that... o-or anything at all... for a mare like me?"

Her eyes opened despite the threat of tears, the risk of exposing herself as broken, to see whatever was painted on his face. Treat someone poorly; ask for more than you deserve. That's how they come to dislike you. Want less of you. Or nothing to do with you at all.

It was only logical.

And yet.

"You're a silly girl, Twilight." Spike was smiling with his head still in that tilt, looking at her, happy with whatever he saw. His claw brushed to her cheek, which he held, which she fell into, which he stroked with a thumb. "I already told you. It's because I love you." The warmth of his words evaporated the coldness of her anxieties. "Ever since they told us to say it, and even more so when I discovered what it meant and felt to say it."

Twilight was aware of the tears. Of her quivering lips and the shudders throughout her frame. The hitching in her breathing and the squawks that were supposed to be words. Rendered weak and having been like that for too long. A mess for one reason before. Now a different kind of mess for a better reason now.

She knew the love he spoke of was of friends, best friends, the kind that only they could be. How someone could relieve her of her lust, fulfill her with love, and do it all without the notion of them becoming lovers. That last part, stung, and it shouldn't have.

But despite that all.

Twilight leaned forward to take the dragon onto her lips, not knowing that she would, a move that didn't appear in the mind. For it was not the creations of her ingenious mind, but rather, the expression of her virgin heart.

She'd always thought that lovers knew what they were doing. That they were normal ponies unlike her. Their experience allowed them to make such moves, to know what they were doing that, somehow, their love was all planned out.

But that wasn't the case at all as Twilight's lips laid upon his.

Her body had moved forward, and her lips had stolen what she desired. Not even knowing how to kiss, but wanting it regardless, following through on whatever felt right. Was it good or bad? Doing it well or poorly? Should she have done it another way?

Those questions. Doubts. Ended before they began.

Twilight's tension had melted into relaxation as she worked against him, her eyes closing and lips moving, feeling his move against hers, the light sounds, wetness breaking, teases of suckling in the air. She collapsed more onto his frame in taking more of the kiss.

Soon her body slid over onto his, her back legs, spreading, draping over his midsection, her thighs hugging into it. Her forelegs reached around his neck and tightened into a hug. Commands she didn't know how to do, now done, on pure bliss alone.

A compulsion leading her through.

IV | You Don't Blow in a Blowjob
View Online

Heated Into Weakness

IV | You Don't Blow in a Blowjob

~ IV ~

You Don't Blow in a Blowjob

I think I'm screwed.

Spike stood before the stove and rocked the pan over the fire, as, in the distance, a shower rained from down in the hall. Normal shower this time. No need to linger or tend to herself. His efforts, last night, had been enough.

Although they wouldn't be good enough for long.

Just gotta... stick it in. Then push it in. Pull out. Push it in again.

He rocked the pan some more.

Yeah. Kinda like this.

Then his wrist got tired and he stopped.

Wait. Can you call a time out in the middle of sex?

His eye clenched.

Maybe I should buy a fleshlight for practice?

An audible clap resounded as he slapped himself hard.

What the heck is wrong with you? How'd a muppet like you even get Rarity? Much less have Twilight see anything in you?

His shoulders dropped.

What the heck does she see anyway? Perfect and a princess. Find the right guy, spend some time to make sure he's the right guy—then make a life with him. Surely there's another prince, somewhere. Someone as good as she. A princess deserves a prince.

It made sense. Maybe Twilight wasn't your typical princess—or maybe most princesses, beneath the surface, aren't as a typical princess appears. Still. Despite being a nerd. And sometimes a dork. She was adorable for it. And her other, developed qualities, would sway anyone.

And her ass is out this world.

Once more, a slap resounded and echoed off the walls.

Stop looking at Twilight like that. She's your...

Spike blinked.

Your...

He looked to the side.

Friend?

Shake of the head.

Best friend?”

A nod that was unsure.

More than a best friend. But what is that? A... lover?

Even that didn't feel right. But it felt like a step in the right direction.

We've always been close. And it's because of that we're able to get closer. But what are we then? Could I ever see her becoming my marefriend? No! That's Twilight, for goodness sake. That... wouldn't be right. No no. She's Twilight. She's...

The pan's contents started to boil, and the dragon swished it in a circle, helping to disperse the heat.

Damn. This... whole thing is starting to wear me out. It's not something I'll be able to figure out on my own. No way. And... I don't have my best friend to talk to about this. So... what? Who could I go to? Who knows me just as well as her?

An answer appeared, one that he didn't like, too much, but knew that, if the time came, it would be for the best. He sighed and lowered the temperature of the fire to leave the pan at a low boil. His exhausted mind travelled to matters that would help refill it.

I don't ever recall Twilight having an ass like that. It fits her so perfectly! How the heck did she get it? Big, and not obscene. Perfect proportions to the heaven that is all that squishiness. It doesn't stick out. Or detract from her overall form. It's so heavy and yet so soft. So thick and yet so slender.

Spike slapped himself once more for going on about his best friend's butt.

...it's even better than Rarity's.

Another slap and, one more, he would be down on the floor, calling for Twilight, crying that he was assaulted by himself. Then he would get to watch her walk in and, more importantly, walk away, watching how those flanks rose and dropped, sliding into the divot between them, with the little bounce that came with her every step.

And then the next slap had actually knocked the dragon onto a nearby chair.

Twilight stood beneath the current of water with mane over her eyes and nothing able to be seen. Her forehooves rested onto the tiled walls as the water washed down the slope of her barrel. Drenched fur to a perfect, fuzzy creature of purple.

She kept like that, with every focus set on her lips, touching them with a lowered hoof. They stung like a prick of a needle. It hurt—but in a good way. Everything alive so they could be set on them.

Then there was the feeling of him. Better than the wet warmth of the show. His torso was able to house her. A surface like a portable furnace that baked her in tender love. The feeling of his taut muscles beneath her softness. Knowing that he was all around her. The sense of green kindness that he radiated.

Knowing that he was there. His arms wrapping over her wings and holding her closer. Life would be alright if it could just be the two of them, in bed, holding each other close without the need for words. Everything she could have ever needed, there.

Her hoof dropped and hung.

I'm... terrible. Bringing him in to help deal with my lust... then needing him... to take care of my love after that...

Twilight sighed.

That kiss. Thinking... it was all a part of helping me. You idiot. You stupid idiot. You stupid—I love you, I love you—dumb dumb idiot. Dumb dumb! Dumb guy! Dumb, I love you so much! Love you! Ack! Hate you! No... don't hate... just... AUGH!

Twilight exhaled a mist hotter than the steam of the shower.

Her back legs shuffled closer together, her thighs rubbing into each other, brushing, in need of... something.

Or someone.

I... love him, don't I? I... I... I have no choice but to admit that. I l...love Spike. A-Always have. But. He's... always loved me to. We were always told to l-love each other. Best friends are supposed to. But... what... what kind of love is this?

Twilight hung her head next.

Do I love him as a drakefriend? As a partner of the opposite sex? N-No... his... g-gender never mattered to me before. W-We were just friends. Him being a guy and me being a girl didn't matter. We were just Spike and Twilight. He could have been anything, and it wouldn't have made a difference back then.

And... it doesn't make a difference now.

I love him... and not what he is.

Then she blushed.

But I do like what he is.

And then her shoulders dropped and her hooves fell from the wall. The mare fell onto the ground onto the stall's floor. Rained on. Steam thicker and everything harder to breathe. Yet weakness consumed her. The girl curled into herself, coming to stroke her tail, unable to do anything at all.

It wasn't like his claw. He did it slow, and precise, with a charged feeling only he could give. And it wasn't just now—but before. Him brushing her was always able to cool all that erupted inside of her.

The more she remembered the dragon, the more she remembered what he did for her, not that he solved her problems, or handled the weight of her responsibilities for her. But that Twilight was able to come home afterward, knowing she was not alone, that she could break down in every way.

And the dragon, no matter what, would console her.

No pretending. Not needing to be anything more.

The only need being to be herself.

And now I can't talk to you about this now. There's... not anyone I can go to for it. What am I to do? Take you after Rarity? What if this experience allows you to go back to her? You... you're already a natural. W-What you... did for me... could.. it will win her back. You're amazing.

Her eyes dropped to the drain where all the water flushed.

But I hardly tell you that, do I, Spikey?

There seemed to be no answer. Except not to get attached, enjoy as much of this as possible, and prepare to go back to normal after her best friend left. It was his plan to leave again. For their paths to split as life expected this late into the game.

Twilight whimpered. Weakly. And could not move even as the water turned cold.

Dinner was once more set in silence as the two were seated at a table not meant for two, each at its end, both several feet away from the other. There was no need for it, and yet, it would be too weird for one to sit next to the other.

There was a moral in that, somewhere.

Twilight propped her head on a hoof as her below rested on the table, not caring for bad manners in her own home. She twirled her fork in her meal. Barely eating. Even though the food was splendid.

Freshly cooked and made with love.

Healthier, and better than all the eating out she'd done.

She'd lost her chief and so much more when her best friend left.

And she repaid that by not eating his food.

Terrible.

On the other side of the table, Spike was looking down at himself, worriedly, in looking at his crotch. His heart thumped in his chest in knowing that he would have to break his cherry with his best friend either tonight or a night close.

She would punch his card or... something like that.

You just stick it in. Kiss a little bit. F-Feel her up. You've gotten used to touching her now. Maybe haven't grabbed her... Spike quickly stuffed his mouth, swallow, to divert the course of his mind. She'll get wet. Instead of licking... it. You just put your t-t-thingy in.

Spike exhaled smoke without meaning to from all the horrible power that built in his chest.

Your dick. Cock. Ah fuck.

He breathed again and went for another mouthful.

Dick. P-Pussy. Dick. Your dick. Twilight's p-p-p-pus...

That felt wrong. A sacrilegious phrase that could not be said. The very idea of even thinking such a thing might summon a heart-attack upon him. To say that line. To complete it. Even though it was normal. Even though she had one. Even though he had already interacted with it.

T-Twi's p-pu...

There was no ending to that thought. The idea of saying it made his throat dry after sipping on a glass of water. His eyes darted over to the displeased mare, her head down, looking at her food, but lost to her own irritating world.

Something that would be worse if she were to learn more of the one going on inside his.

...Rarity's pussy.

He blinked. That came on full completion. Maybe not if he was close to her—or having to do or say anything with it. Yet it hurt less. It wasn't as heavy as the previous phase. Was this how others worked themselves out? Saying someone's pussy to see which one hits the most?

Spike was being led through a sense to help him work out what he felt but, at the same time, couldn't help but feel he was being led in circles. He deflated. So tired and drained from trying to think through his problems. Twilight was the one always advising that.

Yet doing so was what caused his fears.

And simply doing allowed him, back on the bed, both at night and in the morning, to love her better. Not needing to think. To consider what it all meant. Just to love, in whatever context as needed, in whatever urge his body leaned him toward.

He was a dragon. And they were simple. Greedy creatures.

Greedy, and yet I haven't tried to grab her...

Another internal storm stole him of it all as he could not dare to think more on the subject. Yet there was that whisper in the dark that led him on. He'd been hungry for Twilight, down there, working against a place he'd never thought he'd see.

But that wasn't greed.

As much as he came to love and enjoy it, what it did for her and what the smell did for him, the dragon didn't outright want it. Even... 'getting pussy' wasn't a goal of this. Nothing that his greed demanded. Celestia knows that, if he was a proper dragon, he would have taken Rarity more times than she was willing.

But if the dragon side of him wasn't taking over. If he wasn't performing well because it was his greed controlling him. Then. What then. What then had led him through all this? Not lust—although its embers burned in the back of the mind.

Love?

Of course he loved Twilight.

Loved her enough to cut off his own arm, to brave his own cowardice, anything at all that she could demand of him. He couldn't become a better dragon for its own right. But he could if it was for her needing it.

Love Twilight enough to cuddle her, kiss her, to even, maybe, have sex with her.

All without any notions of dating.

That went even beyond the weirdness of being best friends and best friends with benefits' didn't sound right either. Once more the thoughts were overpowering. The decision not to think causing them to be stronger.

Spike slumped in his seat, drove his fork into his meal, and started to eat. There was no taking this solo and no way he could go for Twilight for help. His mind was bothered by a thousand things. Yet one of them settled on his mind.

That thinking about a purple rump would take his mind off his problems.

If only for a little.

The next few nights had been stressful, rewarding, releasing the tension of lust so the burden of love could take its place. Twilight had seemed to seep back into herself. Walking past the dragon with her tail flicking into his arm, causing him to glance, seeing over to her, Twilight's head half-turned.

That lowered muzzle, those eyes hidden beneath a mane, that grin, and the little shake to her flanks. She'd resume walking if only stumble, brushing and bouncing off a wall, trying to relearn her gait.

Not quite knowing how to strut her stuff, but, of course, in the process of learning how.

Is she using me for practice? Maybe she might try-scoring for another guy afterward.

Of course. Once Twilight had turned the corner into the hall, she would, at once, raise onto her back legs and lean into the wall. Panting and pressing a hoof to her chest to repress the beating of her heart. Air dense with something and so much harder to breathe.

The developing sweat that spread across her frame.

The two, unable to work the love between them, deciding to focus on the lust instead.

Spike sat in his chair as it all confused him, thinking of how the mare wanted to be closer, intimate, even though it scared the shit out of him. He'd been like this before, reading, when Twilight appeared out of the corner of his eye.

She'd brushed over his shoulder, reading some of the text in his book, laying her chin on the top of his head. Her hooves would rub around him, for one reason or another, and she'd exhale a warm breath onto him.

They'd read together before. But she never acted like this. It was a new side to Twilight.

One he wasn't sure how to feel about.

Same when he cooked. How Twilight would stand on two legs and shuffle next to him, watching as he cooked, with faux interest to the inside of the pan. Her side would push into his and her muzzle would wiggle underneath his arm—forcing it over her back.

The door to the shower: left open.

Bedroom locked at night, with him inside, so he could not leave in the moonlight.

She spoke less.

Did more.

Motivation unsure.

You've never dealt with a mare in heat before. She's probably never let herself go with someone else like this either. You're getting better. Not freaking out and not losing your heart when she's close. Just keep it together. Maybe, if all goes well, you can...

There was no finishing that thought.

And then the night came.

"Do you know how to use that thing?"

Spike endured a flurry of blinks in having exposed himself to the mare for the second time. Swallowing and looking down, it still burst his heart to have his cock exposed, to another, tall and pink—cute looking too.

Kill me.

"Well, I mean, Celestia never gave me lessons on the thing." Spike's eye shut in having to keep afloat on the sea of embarrassment. "Push really hard when I have to pee and jerk very gently if I want to get something else out from it."

Twilight was lying back on the bed, already open and spread, taking to that pose easily now. The first time had scared her, but now, knowing the drake and her frame's demands, she was easier to do whatever feltright.

"I swear I'm going to kill you one of these days."

"Hey! I was just thinking how I'd like someone to do that to me."

"Spike."

"What! You're the one that asked me if I knew how to use my dick."

"Well, do you?"

"Ack-tcha! Twilight! Your... your... your dick isn't something that you, y'know, know how to use! There's not some guide or skill on it—wait, is there?"

Twilight's chin dipped into her chest fur. "Dunno. You always hear about stallions being able to please a mare well." She glanced up at him. "Because they know how to use their dicks well. Have you... had any practice?"

Spike waved an arm. "Only with a claw, I'm afraid." It dropped to the sides of his knees, which he sat upon, the bed impressing beneath his weight. "I would have gotten a fleshlight if it came in your colour."

"Sh-Spiiike!"

"Hey! No no no! You don't give me that!" Spike huffed and shook his head. "You ask me if I know how to use my dick, and I get a free one back at you."

But now it looked as though Twilight was thinking.

"Twilight? Hey, Twilight? C'mon now."

Twilight was blushing madly, with her expression as angered, eyes narrowed, mood pissed and, overall, seeming to have to suffer through it. Her gaze kept sweeping in an inability to look at him. Then, she spoke. "Would... I mean... calling this off for a night... would you h-having—"

"Nope. Nuh-huh. Not going down that line of thought."

Now she glared at the power of a purple sun at him. "SPIKE! YOU WERE THE ONE TO BRING IT UP!"

"Because you asked if I had practice with my dick as to use it better! How else am I supposed to respond to that question except with sarcasm!?”

"This is a serious moment and you're ruining it!"

“How could that be? You've already lost your virginity—not me!”

Spike killed himself. Hated himself. Wanted to slice himself open and allow the vultures a free meal. To pick off his every scale and suffer the pain of being skinless. His heart quaked in his head and everything in his stomach frosted over.

Twilight's muzzle rose in the energy of the statement, but anger did not follow, no cry, no scream, no anything. Rather everything hitched inside as that realization dawned on her. It'd all been meant as a loose argument, the kind they always had, meant to be more joking and for the fun of it.

Yet that didn't make the words any less true.

"Kill me." Twilight's head shook from the thought to see the dragon coming over, on his knees, and pressing his forehead against her horn. He leaned into it while looking down into her eyes. "Do it now and do it quickly. Do it. Please just do it.”

Twilight's lungs burned as the dragon's shadow passed over her. She remembered to breathe, finding it easy to do, no tears or sobs to break the flow. Her head shook as she looked at him. "N-No... you... you didn't mean—"

"Of course I didn't mean it." Spike's head shook as well, not caring for how the tip of her horn grazed across him. "I'd never mean something like that. It was just that. You asked if... I was just looking for a clever come back... the whole thing was awkward and..."

He stopped.

"I'm sorry, Twilight." His words were slow and his eyes were brighter due to the wetness starting to coat them. "Never. Never let someone like me or anyone say that to you. Not even in jest or jokes. Never.”

Twilight pulled away from him as if only to take her horn away. "You.. don't have to be sorry." She chuckled with a turned head. "It's not like you didn't say anything that wasn't true."

"Doesn't matter." Spike went to lean in closer, and his claw seemed set for her cheek, which she would have fallen into—had he not fallen away; the surrounding room was dark, bathed in rays of moonlight, each faint. "Not with your past. Not with what you used to have to hear others say. What... what you did that night."

Spike was so far away enough, even though he was only a foot distance on the bed, his body, darkened in the lack of light, a silhouette of sorts, with only his head, above, and the glint of his eyes able to be seen. "No matter the pain, it was the right thing to do."

"B-But I got..."

"But you showed that you were trying to find someone, that you were willing to brave your fears to become close—especially with a stranger." Spike sighed and looked down at himself. "I couldn't sleep with the girl that I loved for a decade. You and I are the same in being scared of intimacy. Yet you dared to go for it anyway."

His claw curled. "Even if you got hurt, you improved from it, and you'll improve more for it."

Twilight looked down at herself as well. Lips tucking inward in being unsure of what to say. Now that the air was calming between them. She had to think. To consider all that he had said. Then she talked. "I'm starting to think it was silly of me to ask if you knew how to use your thing."

Spike was still for a moment. Then he laughed. Deciding to go along with it. "Yeah. Little bit. But even if I don't—you'll walk me through it?"

Twilight laughed sweetly to herself and pressed a hoof to her chin. "Well, now that I think about it, it's not so much on how you use your thing! It's actually on how you use your hips! That makes more sense.”

The dragon dropped his claws onto the bed, crawling back to her, over her, as his frame dwarfed her own. She loved it. Being bathed in his shadow. Looking to the sky and having it only composed of him. All of it was perfection.

"That so?"

"It's not like you can do much with your..."

"C'mon." He paused above. "You can say it."

"Your... your... uh... your... d-dick?"

"There you go."

"How about... your cock?"

"I... don't like too much." His eyes shut and, with them, the brightness they shone. "Doesn't really suit you."

"Your cock doesn't suit me?"

"Augh... you're torture." His eyes reopened and the room was a touch brighter for it. “Just you. I know. You saying it. Your voice. You. Just..."

"You don't like me talking about your cock?" Twilight asked sweetly, with a heavy breath, and a teasing expression. "H-How come, Spikey?"

"Because you—oh, you dirty girl." His head shook from the clouds before diving into the ground that was the side of her neck. Twilight had no time to prepare herself for the assault as his snout dove into her fur. Sniffing and nipping at her skin. "Now you're making it adorable, somehow."

Twilight lost a laugh with a bit of a snort, the true test of happiness, as it caused Spike to do the same against her. She rubbed the side of her head onto the top of his, asking him to explore some more. "And you just called me a dirty girl. It sounded natural, too!"

"Pfft." That breath popped and washed to her shoulders. "Not even a few days... of practice... and we're already speaking... like an erotic couple..." He drew a deep breath of her lilac scent and cherished it for a moment. "Never thought... I could ever... call... any girl that.. and not feel insanely shameful for it."

"Well, I was being a dirty girl."

Spike's cock throbbed at that word, at the cute, awkward delivery, and the sweet voice that carried it through. "Mhm. You've got your own charm about you, Twilight Sparkle. Never feel the need to be anything else—no matter the subject. You have a way of making it perfectly your own."

"Thanks big cock boy."

Spike broke away to burst into a laughter that could not be suppressed, falling to the side and lying next to her, holding an arm over his belly to help. His feet kicked the bed and his eyes drew tears for different reasons. It all was too much.

Twilight leaned up from the side to look at him. "Poor phrasing?"

He took a moment to wipe a tear before looking over, now more clam, with a happy expression. "A little. Now see, that was a little forced."

Her head tilted adorably as her long mane hung from that side. "But don't guys get off to being told how big their dick is? Isn't that what you compete with other guys overs? Or do you guys tell each other if you have big ones?"

Spike remembered that, at that moment, no matter how much she grew, or how powerful she became, not even the fact of being a princess could stop Twilight Sparkle from, sometimes being, Twilight Sparkle. She'd never glimpsed into that world before and could only go off popular media for it.

"Mares are usually the only ones to tell else if our... things are big." And now he couldn't use the word himself. Maybe it was due to referring to himself? He brushed the question aside. "Not really a situation where I'm going to find another guy commenting on it."

Twilight nodded like a child given an answer. "I guess that makes sense! Your pride as a guy comes in the thing that makes you a guy! But then... only a girl can tell you how big that pride can be? Maybe that's why they flatter so much on it?"

"Or a guy does a lot just to hear a mare lie."

"They don't want the truth?"

"Doesn't feel as good."

"Do you want the truth from me?"

"So long as you don't spread that truth around."

"You're not scared of how you'll perform now?"

"Always. But there's no other choice now."

Twilight blinked as it dawned on her.

"You're about to lose your virginity, Spike."

"Yeah. Yeah, guess I am."

Silence.

"Who did you think you were going to lose it to?"

"...Rarity."

"And you even had the chance to!"

"Thanks for sprinkling salt on the wound, Twi."

"i-I didn't mean it like that! Uh... w-was there... anyone else?"

"Well, I figured that, if things went bad with her, that I would go to a bar, meet someone nice—and try to keep meeting someone nice weekly."

"Was that... your plan before me?"

"That was my plan before I realized I can't say the word p-pussy w-without s-s-stuttering."

"And now?"

"I only stutter one syllable instead of two or three."

"You were able to call me a dirty girl without stuttering."

"Because we were inside of something there."

"Do you think that, if we don't lose that trance, that we'll be natural, better?"

"I think I've acted the best when I haven't thought at all."

Twilight went through modes that Spike had spent his life learning to get used to. As they had been lying, on their sides, side to side, looking into each other's faces as they talked—the breaking of their conversation caused him to realize he was still hard. They were still in her bed.

And that they were still going to fuck.

Only with Twilight could he have such a strange conversation before his first time.

Twilight didn't say anything as, for the first time, she was the one to scoot on the sheets. Disappearing into the darkness and nearly causing the dragon to go after her. But then she appeared, the glow of her eyes burning in the darkness first, between his legs, as she loomed before his crotch.

Half of her face was obscured by his towering mast.

Spike looked at her curiously as the distance between them was greater due to his height. Twilight looked at him from behind his dick, a final, sweet smile, before a glance at his meat. She came close, her muzzle wrinkling as she sniffed.

Is that... a good thing... or something bad?

Twilight's face pulled away for a moment. Spike's heart thundered. Should he have washed more? Was it disgusting down there? Did mares naturally crave to do it, or did they only do so to please guys? Like how he ate her out. He came to like it like an acquired taste, afterward.

Was it the same? Different? Some mares craved it, and others did not? Were they all hardwired to like it a little? Do girls even like dicks? Or just what they could do? Was it the thing of itself or was it what it could—

Twilight came back, with a broad lick at his underside, like a slow swipe of a tongue on a slope of strawberry ice cream. Spike convulsed in the flooding of pleasantly popping that spread from his crotch, outward.

He arched his hips. Exhaled a breath and fiddled in place. Tightening his abs to endure the goodness in all that was sensitive, becoming brushed and licked and doused in warmth and wetness. His dick twitched. Throbbing at the contact.

Twilight laughed as her muzzle pulled back, still half of her face hidden behind his cock, the other looking out to him. Her grin pushed away the darkness as the downward tilt of her snout was sinister. Her forehooves slid onto his groin in a wrap over his joy. Enough to hug his member.

Spike gasped another breath in shutting his eyes and tearing his claws into the mattress to withhold the burning pleasure. Rolling from side to side to deal with it all. Twilight laughed harder in raising over his groin, snuggling his cock into the fluff of her chest, bathing it in purple furs.

"Now who's the weak and vulnerable one? What happened to never making sounds whenever you enjoyed yourself?" Twilight snorted a breath as her snarl was downright predatory. Wiggling from side to side, letting his cock ground into her field of tuft, feeling it impress into the softness beneath her coat. "Is hugging you like a pillow better than anything your claw can do?"

His claws slapped over his face and tore at his scales while he furiously nodded.

The talons spread over his eyes so he could see to the mare. Who, in waiting for his eye contact, bent her cheek into the head of his dick. Nuzzling it with love that was torturous as that wasn't the cuteness he craved right now.

Then it clicked.

"This isn't going to b-be only about helping me, Spike." Twilight's cheek was planted into his muzzle, nuzzling it like it were some toy, as her forehooves tightened around its base. "L-Like it or not. You're just like me. Just not... having explored that side of yourself before."

Spike flinched. Gasping another breath. Fighting the urge to reach a claw down and tend to himself. But then it wouldn't feel as good. Just like all the rest. He only burned more alive because of the other—and in all that she teased and did.

And it was that he craved most.

"I have no problem in t-taking your thing and napping with it." Her head shuffled to the side as she looked at him through the veil of bangs. Her grin softened into a small, encouraging smile, that begged for him to go on. "The only way I'll do more... is if you want me to."

Could he do it? Give the command to have another service him? To put Twilight through that. He propped himself in his elbows and looked down at her. It would have killed him to have her do something she didn't like. But when she was so twirled around him, against the very thing that, sometimes, brought him shame.

He found his mouth working on its own.

"Y-Yes... please."

"Please what?"

Her smile twitched more. You'll have to fully expose yourself to demand it from me.

"I want you to..."

"Yeeeees?"

"To l-lick..."

“That's aaall? That sounds like it would hurt instead of being fun.”

"T-Then... suck.. suck..."

"Suck on what? Your claws? Didn't know you were into that." Her muzzle pulled away from him and, at once, the softness, warmth, and brushing furs were gone. He convulsed from the lack of their contact. Twilight grinned in feeling his reaction to her absence. "And hey! You better have washed them, mister."

His cock swelled. Swelling from the inside out. Growing and becoming numb from the overload of sensations. From being teased in lava to being encrusted in ice. His dick leaned over the hold of her wrists as pre was glistening from his tip.

"I WANT YOU TO SUCK MY DICK, TWILIGHT!"

Spike's face blew up in shock and shame as sweat was drenched across it. Eyes wide and a mouth opened the same. His claws clapped over the latter as his heartbeat scratched at the inside of his chest. Woe and pain dressed his psyche.

He looked at Twilight in horror to not find the same on her. She'd leaned back, surprised as well—but not offended. Muzzle wrinkled and eyes opened and mouth a touch of the same. Her own heart must have been racing. But she breathed through her mouth—the musk of his lust.

And then she smiled, settling into herself, into the strangeness of it all.

"I-I... I wonder... if such a line could constitute an erotic cliche?"

Spike's eyes and head rolled before collapsing into the mountain of pillows.

"Hey! C'mon now! You have no right to throw a hissy fit! Of all the things I was expecting you to say—"

Spike lurched back up, not in anger, but in something close. "Wha? T-Twi! What... what were you expecting me to ask! You're snug around my dick, wanting me to—"

"No no! I want to suck your dick, Spike, trust me on that." Her cheeks blushed hotly at the line finally delivered without a stutter. Her heart still raced—but her breathing helped to quell it. "It was just the phrasing, y'know? I was expecting you to ask for it differently." She chuckled. "Didn't even know you had it in you to say a line like that!"

He groaned and turned away. "Because I'm not the kind of guy to say a line like that! Or even to think about that kind of stuff!"

"You mean you never think of anything sexual?"

"Of course not! I think about rumps and mares and all the nice things about girls all the time!" It was impossible, in his tension, all his scales spread thin, to feel any more shame about anything at all. "I just never think about them in relation to me! No sucking my dick or doing something in a stall or anything at all. Innnnnnn faaaaaact! None of my fantasies include me at all! Just mares. And only mares. Them being mares."

The words rang in the silence as Spike burned the power of the sun across the bedroom. Enough that no fires or furnaces would be needed as him, in anxiety and shame, could heat the whole castle. Twilight had never felt him so hot before. Only now, in fully unravelling himself, like she was before, was the true extent of his being unleashed.

"Maybe... t-that's the heart of your problems right there."

Spike breathed with a confused expression, always unable to catch his breath, drinking his smell, her smell, their smell. The bedroom without an open window. His body heat enough to burn the blanket. The whole world, closing in, on the dragon with his dick out.

How he wished he could shrink into himself and disappear forever from the world and all its judgment. Even though it was just a room. One with him and Twilight. And that everything he felt and thought, all those anxieties, were crafted by him, and not a reflection of anything or anyone else.

His own hell created in fear of there being one out there.

"Wha..." The dragon fell back again, feeling the sweat beneath his frame, how he leaked it so. Double the amount Twilight had to the point of the bed being soaked, and new sheets would be needed. So disgusting. Not only to be lying in it himself—but forcing another to do so. "What do you mean, Twilight? And sorry."

"For what?"

"For me. And the bed. The smell and the temperature. All the sweat."

"Isn't that supposed to happen in sex?"

"I wouldn't know."

"And neither would I! To... some extent."

His head rolled and he looked an eye over the expanse of his frame to her. "Isn't it disgusting, though? You're a mare. This should be disgusting. You should be—"

"Hold it right there! Freak out anymore and you'll be making it worse."

"From a pool to a pond."

Twilight rolled her eyes and looked between his legs. Then she smiled, slowly leaning down, while retaining his eye contact. Spike wiggled to dismay her. But she kept on her course. "C'mon Twilight. Don't. Don't do that."

Twilight didn't listen in lowering to his crotch and wiping a hoof over it. Then the end of her muzzle fell as her lips settled on his scales. Still coated in a sheen and stinking of the musk of his dock. But she kissed downward. Not minding any of it. The trail coming to the side of his mast.

And then she rose before it.

"Spike... you're too worried about how things should be... or how I should be... and a lot of things... that don't matter right now." She laughed this time, softly now, sweetly, a genuine expression instead of being a teasing factor. She melted back into the usual Twilight as her hoof snaked around his dick. "Trust me. I know. I was there. I'd been so worried about having another guy beneath my tail that I worried about everything."

Her hoof slid up and down his cock, first at the base, reaching to his mid, then back down again, not to get him off, but to keep him hard, to slowly increase the pleasure that she would follow upon. "How'd it look. Would it smell? It must have been disgusting down there. What would taste like?"

Spike chuckled. "It actually wasn't all that bad."

"I know that now you dummy." Twilight smirked as her pumps lifted higher on his cock, causing her forehead to sweat, a burning of her wrist. "Now I'm trying to get you to learn that. Don't get me wrong. It's not suddenly like you sweating and your dick is now magically something that's attractive and delicious."

Spike coughed. "S-So why did you—"

"Because I wanted to prove that I love you." Twilight smiled and didn't feel the need to readdress the definition of that love. "That I don't mind the sweat or the heat or even the trying of dragon dick." Her lips pressed together like a dam to hold back the giggles pounding behind it. "Because I want you. Trying out your... dick, sound good and fun. That something compels me to want to try it. And it's conclusion made many things."

Spike swallowed. "L-Like your heat?"

"My heat," Twilight said with a turn of the head, her tail swirling around her legs, with a blush rising in her cheeks, "and something else."

Spike could feel some of the tension phase out from as, despite the heat and taste of the air, he could breathe, enough to control his heartbeat. Those fears and anxieties. Everything within that did a twirl. It all left, faded, and left him some peace.

It wasn't his fear of the outside.

Bur rather.

Someone from the outside to quell all the pains within.

Twilight's hoof reached the top of his dick to squeeze, coaxing out some of his liquid, which she spread downward in the following pump. Then her muzzle appeared above it, allowing some spittle to fall onto his tip. She then spread it down his shaft. Getting him ready.

"Part of your problem is that you're a chaser, Spike, and don't feel worthy of being a receiver." Twilight's other foreleg rested over the curve of his leg, as her chest backed into the curve of his crotch. She focused on her work. "I can't say for sure why. Maybe because you've never actually been with a mare? Never had someone to see you that way before? But that should have gone away with Rarity."

Her eyes narrowed on the jerking of her hoof, while the dragon twitched, keeping himself in check in wiggling the digits on his feet. He breathed, slowly, to endure the spikes of love. "Maybe because you thought it was wrong to fantasy about mares like that? Or that to will them to yourself was wrong? You like them for them. But could never expect them to do anything to you..."

Her eyes closed as her hoof dropped to his base, and kept pumping onto to there, as she positioned herself above his tip. Her eyes reopened to look out to him. "Regardless of the reason. This is something that I want to do for you, Spike. Heat or not. Even if I didn't like this. I'd do it, anyway, because I want you to feel good."

She then chuckled. "But, then against, isn't that what you felt for me?"

Spike opened his mouth for a response only for the mare to take his dick into her own. The tightness of her muzzle guided his mast inward as the warmth, humidity, and wetness welcomed him so. He groaned in wiggling his claws and feet and hips onto the bed.

The feeling of being something tight and warm and wet and alive for that matter.

His eyes shut at once as to not blow his load. Needing to grip the sheets and curl his feet and push them back and forth on the bed. Then he breathed. Feeling that bubbling sensitivity of his dick slide more across the broadness of that tongue. How it caressed his ridges and seemed to flick on his bumps.

The whole thing caused him to feel in love.

His eyes shot open to Twilight lowering on his shaft, not even half of it inside and, already, touching the back of her throat. She looked at him with puffed cheeks and a mouthful. He would read the shock on her eyes that she had no clue what she was doing. All that talk and bluffing to finally have a stuffed cock.

And no idea what to do.

"C-Can you..." Spike grunted between the words. "...can you lick it? T-Try... bobbing on it. Like what you did with your hoof."

Twilight only applied pressure onto him, which he groaned and endured, before she returned to her efforts. Her hoof still pumped at his base as she lifted off from him, leaving only his tip on her lips, testing its flavour with her tongue.

Spike's fists batted into the mattress at feeling her lick him, teasing his shape and his taste, the way his flesh burned, the smoothness of all that was pink. Then she pumped down, leaning her neck, taking his shaft inside. Her tongue swirled on his underside, wanting to explore its curve, as her eyes remained fixated on him.

Watching him turned and groaned and hit the bed like a kid. Unable to repress the closing of his eyes or the little whining that was adorable. Even with inexperience, she could make him hers, to be fully exposed, unable to control himself. Nothing to hide behind as he showed how weak she could make him.

For only in that weakness, in reading it, could she make him feel the best he ever would.

Working on him. Licking and sucking only to find that the latter wasn't the right term. Sucking caused things to get tight and her rhythm to get trapped in a lock. After a few attempts, she ceased that, opting instead to pump herself up and down.

Twilight could feel everything about him. Every throb and the pump of blood inside his shaft. The needing for release and how she could give it to him. Going fast as to tease it, then slowly as to give him a chance to recover, then going fast once more.

She wanted to take more of him. To see him writhe and shout her name. Yes... yes. That tickled her everything. To listen to her dear Spike shout her name in pleasure and in a plea. To have that effect on someone. To be doing such a good job in an area where today was her first day.

But taking more caused his dick to touch the back of her throat. Deep throat. Could she even do that? There was that one time and test with a banana that... did not go as expected. But now. In seeing the dragon shake. In panting, moaning now, coming close to her starting syllables.

She was willing to take the hit.

Her horn lit in the light, and magic faded around her throat. Then with a held breath, she dove in, taking away her hoof as she felt his fullness barrel down her throat. Her body shivered in goodness at the feeling of her having her throat stretchered.

Her hoof reached to it, feeling the bulge, the shape of him, grinding inside, throbbing still. How her eyes rolled back in the feeling of goodness at the sensation of being complete. Her head rocked back and forth, out of instinct, while the rest of her was left in a daze.

She was aware of her mess. Of the fresh splash between her legs. The heat that bit at her lower lips and the wetness that dribbled and burned down her thighs. How she rocked on her flanks. Teasing the sheets against her vulva. Needing the tiniest stimulation to keep her in check.

"This... Ti... Twi..."

Twilight straightened at hearing it, her nickname, all the dragon could huff out. His head laid back and his body relaxed as he stared up in a daze to the sky. She'd been doing good enough as for all of his body to focus here. She smiled as well as she could with a mouth full of dick. She closed her eyes, continuing to bob, smoothly, catching into a rhythm.

So... dirty... yet it doesn't feel like it. W-Why? That one-night stand. It was nothing like this. M-Maybe it felt better—but then it didn't feel like anything at all afterward. My throat hurts. It's hard to breathe. I have to fight myself from gagging. But when I open my eyes...

The view of the dragon laying back had greeted her. Head lurched and frame the same as he gripped the sheets. Panting and sweating and changing her name. Barely able to keep his breath in all the groans and wiggles throughout his limbs.

He was cute. And weak. In need to be pleased. For a dragon—he looked sensitive. Stripped of all of his scales and left in her possession. He might be able to cry if she wanted it so. When his brow clenched, she slowed, and when his lips bit, she sped up.

Knowing his weaknesses allowed her to please him better.

It's not just a matter of s-sucking him off... Twilight's breath blew out her snout and grazed over the top of his shaft. It's a matter of wanting him to feel good.

"Twilight... mhm... T-Twilight!" His legs were pushed and pulled to her sides as though kicking at water. Soon his eyes sparked open, one of them shutting, as he looked at her. "I'm gonna... you might wanna..."

She waited and waited as the throbs were powerful and the pumping beneath was strong. The wild beast paused for a moment as, unable to help himself, the dragon started to thrust himself forward and back. Rocking and rolling and moaning.

He glanced at her to see her smile and the glint of her eyes. Letting her head go limp as to better suit whatever he needed. The dragon couldn't raise another fuss, surrendering to himself, leaning forward, setting claws on the back of her head, a firm grasp that caused a tickle and a flick to her tail.

Twilight felt the claws hold the back of her head as the dragon's hips flicked into her muzzle, barrelling his cock down the back of her throat, the tight passage, squeezing, its wet softness over him. He throbbed within the confines, and his head rolled around for it.

She didn't mind it. Oh no the girl did not. Instead fishing a hoof back beneath her frame and between her legs, touching at her clit, rolling it, slowly and smoothly, to the shudders it elicited. Getting off to being used like a toy. No. Not a toy. But as a means for the dragon to reach supreme relief.

Feeling her head back away from his crotch only to slide right into it, pulled back only to be pushed back in, over and over, feeling her tongue in a slope to conform to the underside of his dick. Feeling it slide over it, back and forth, as it barrelled down her throat, stuffing her emptiness with something.

The idea of this, with anyone else, at any other time, would have terrifiedher. Seeing a stallion's massive cock, that strange, alien thing, that would have scared her by itself—much less having to do things to it. Like get on her knees and take it into her mouth. To have hooves forcing her head into the shaft. To open up her mouth and force down her throat and—

But isn't that what I'm doing right now?

Twilight's body went limp as the dragon went to finish. Even with talons digging into her scalp and a dragon's load shooting down her throat—there was no fear. Rather she wished she were on her knees to suck him better. To take him in the shower to have warm water bathing her as she did it.

More fantasies zoomed.

To be eating at the table when, suddenly, a certain dragon had snuck between it, spreading her legs with claws, enjoying his dinner there. She'd giggle and continue her meal while reading while being pleased below.

Or to sneak into his room, early in the morning, when the sun was high but the dragon's morning wood was higher. To see how much she could touch it, suck it, watching his unconscious face for reactions. Anyone else and it would have been nightmares.

Yet they were fantasies with Spike.

Twilight snapped out of them in time to feel the claws leaving her head and the dragon pulling out from her mouth. His cock had gone still, and she knew what was coming. As he tried to back away, she pushed herself forward, enough to leave his dick on her tongue.

She licked, suckled, and waited.

"T-Twilight!"

And finally she heard her name, in the voice and shout, that she craved to hear it from.

His dick bounced on her tongue as tremors came from it. Then its end fired rope after rope of white as it dressed her maw in vines of milk. The second burst shot down her throat, which she swallowed, noting the burn. Hot and fertile. Like a spicy cream used in her coffee.

The dragon blew a few more, huffing and twisting, wiggling his toes, flicking his hips, riding out the final ends of the orgasmic high. His cock baked inside her maw. The temperature and wetness rise by the second. And then. The lips relented. And his dick pulled into the cool and open air.

The dragon nearly sat up for a moment as his head rolled and his world shook. His frame leaned back and, slowly, he collapsed into the mountain of pillows. They flattened beneath his weight to a sudden roar of springs. Everything was silent—save for their breathing.

Twilight pinched her bottom together in feeling a release from a lit horn, a fresh torrent of love, doused from her lips, and snaking down the bottom of her flanks and the back of her thighs. Her tongue touched around her mouth, at the warm milk, sans flavour, an oddity of taste that would take some getting used to.

She tilted back her head, swallowing, as a cute lump travelled down her throat. Spike watched this in silence. Once more. It was something neither of them expected to be. Yet, beyond the dirtiness, there was a reason behind the acts.

Something subconscious that drove them to do it.

It didn't take long for Twilight to crawl next to the dragon, to snuggle right next to him, easily, laying her hooves over abs. His arm didn't struggle to come down and claim her frame, hugging her next to his body, though, his arm stayed on her lower back.

Never daring to reach lower.

Silence hung in the room. Not something uncomfortable as, in the dimness, a violet aura burned. The magic of Twilight's horn appeared by the windows with a push upon them. They opened as the dam of sex washed out into the night air.

Coldness and freshness fizzled into the bedroom.

All was still quiet as the two could finally breathe oxygen. They were accustomed to the smell between the other's legs—although a break from it was nice. Words still needed to be said. A conversation of sorts. But this absence of sounds wasn't uncomfortable.

It was like the two had been taken back to all those years ago, where they could lie together by a fire, with winter outside a nearby window, with the dragon leaned against her barrel, he in comics, she in a novel, for hours without a said word.

Now it was her at his side, with his arm holding her to him. Her hooves still felt across him, loving the feeling of brushing her hooves across the swells of his chest, the smooth scales, the rise and dip of muscles, the feeling of how sleek they were.

She did it both for how nice it felt to her, and also to have it felt to him.

S-Sometimes love can be a win-win.

Her heart stuttered at that word.

Love.

"So... how was it?"

Twilight blinked from her blush. Her cheek laid on his chest and her eyes glanced up. Spike's head was propped on a pillow, his eyes, brightly green, and his scales, a dim purple. His claw rushed up her back, tracing across the trail of her spin—something she wiggled into.

"It was... good."

Spike's eye narrowed and his head cocked. "How'd it taste?"

She blinked. "Spike, are you—"

"First time I went down on you, I wasn't sure how the taste would be." He coughed. "I uh. At the time. Kinda wished..."

Twilight's body relaxed with a sweet giggle. "Yes. The taste is kinda weird. Nothing that I don't mind! Just wish that, maybe, I had..."

"Yeah." Spike's claws came to hold her hooves, lifting him off him—not without a kiss to each—before he shuffled out of her hold. Twilight frowned as the dragon sat at the edge of the bed. "Already got you. Just... give me a second."

Spike went to stand on shaky legs that soon buckled beneath his weight. His rump crashed into the bed and gave an explosive exhale. Then he looked to the side, coming to hold the bedpost, rising again, holding, leaning onto it.

He stood and stood still for a moment. Then he took a step forward, still weak, the claw on the post going to the dresser. He stumbled forward, his claw tracing over the wooden surface, knocking things onto the ground.

Twilight watched his tall body disappear into the darkness of the room, his claw reaching for the wall next, him falling into it, his shoulder brushing across it. She would have been annoyed, of course, were it not for the fact that, because of her work, the dragon could hardly walk.

That ticked in her mind.

I was so good as to make a dragon weak afterward.

That was an alien thought.

Being weak had never been a good thing. Or making others weak for that matter. Her being bullied evoked the need to be smarter and more magically powerful. Becoming a princess was a test of her resolve to never stumble or stutter. Being weak or making others weak. It was an inherently bad thing.

Spike could have walked across that bedroom with ease were it not for that blowjob. Yet this felt better. Right, somehow. Twilight shook her head and decided to be done with the thoughts. Mind already on overload and tension already rising even from her release.

Spent so long in her mind that she didn't even notice the return of the dragon. He sat on the side of the bed with a drink. Plastic cup that he turned and passed to her. Twilight took it with her hooves and he turned away again.

Twilight couldn't see the water, but brought the rim to her lips, drinking, washing away the remains of both gunk and taste from her mouth. She drank the whole cup and passed it back to him. She wiped her lips as he set it on the dresser.

He laid back on the bed and, once again, she was on him.

But something was different now. She laid on his side, but it felt colder and, when she looked up at him—he was looking away. Elsewhere. The corner glow of his eyes was still there. But he was distant. Gone. And being close suddenly felt like an intrusion.

Twilight backed off him. Only a foot of space between them. It hit her. Things could suddenly change and that there was a reason being weak could hurt. To need to snuggle against him, only for him to turn away.

When you're strong... when you get hurt... it hurts less.

But... when you're weak... when you get hurt... it hurts... a lot more.

"Sorry."

She'd expected the words from her lips, but it came from his, instead.

"What?" Twilight blinked and shook in place. "Why?"

"I... uh... I-I used you, Twilight."

Wait.

"You mean with the... head grabbing thing?"

"Y-Yeah! Got so... wrapped up in it that I... I... I used you." His head rolled back and he looked to the ceiling. "Just wanted to feel even more good and just... stopped caring for whatever happened. And the way you looked! It just... I... did something that I..."

The sheets shuffled as she leaned over the dragon and pressed a hoof to his lips. "You didn't do anything that I didn't want you to do, Spike. Truth be told. I'd normally be scared. Never thought I'd find myself in a situation like that—ever."

Her hoof pulled away for her lips to take its place. She kissed him. Slowly. Tenderly. Infusing all that she felt for him. Breaking the kiss only to dive back in. Peppering him. Coming to lift the rest of her body onto his frame. She kissed over his face. Peppering every spot. Eyes closed, her kisses, loud, as she loved him.

“But I wanted you. To hear you say my name. To make you feel better than you'd ever felt before."

His eyes clenched even though he inched up, coming to kiss her cheek, then over her cheek, the two awkwardly kissing the other. When one pulled, one pushed, and one pushed, one pulled. "I-It's... not that. Just. The way you looked. Down there. Hair over your face. My..."

Twilight pulled away, breathing loudly with a smirk, to pause their kisses. "With your dick in my mouth?"

No stutters or stumbles as the mare chose to be strong in a matter where they were still weak.

"Yeah. You looked really... cute. In a way that I shouldn't have seen you as."

Twilight snickered. "But what if I like being cute with your dick in my mouth? What if I wanted you to take me and use me and see me as adorable throughout? I certainly enjoyed it. This deal of ours isn't only for me to get off."

Spike breathed. "But I only did it to help you get over your heat. Expecting something in return—"

"We're a bit beyond doing it just for the heat, aren't we, Spike?"

His eyes flicked down and he thought about something for a moment. The way his eyes glowed. The neon of green that was like a vortex for her attention. The way she could gaze into them. They burnt on kindness and timidness. So bright and yet so shy. Such a paradox.

Then he looked up at her with a strained throat. "I love you, Twilight."

She smiled. "I love you too, Spike."

His head shook. "No no. I... I think I might... really love ya, Twilight."

Then she blinked. Pushing her forehooves onto his chest as to sit straight, she looked down, feeling a tickle at her hoof. She looked at it to feel it over his heart. It was racing. Not from sex or their proximity.

Rather from his confession.

"Oh."

There was no professional way for a princess to leave the dragon, so this one opted to fall to the side, off his body, and rolled onto her side to give even more space. She laid away from him with back all that he could see. The sheets beneath him shuffled—although he did not move.

"T-Twi?" Seconds passed before he coughed. "T-Twilight, I mean?"

The princess tore her lips inside her mouth and chewed on them from going close to distant in the change of phrasing. She swallowed. Trying to control her breathing. Keeping it low so the dragon couldn't hear. "Y-Yeah. Just... one second, Spike."

Seconds passed.

"I'm sorry."

The back of her head shook to him. "No no. Don't be. Just... wasn't expecting another courting."

She could feel him recoil. "Another courting? What? I..."

The princess tightly shut her eyes and exhaled the pain as to compose herself once again. “S-Sorry. Terrible phrasing. Just wasn't expecting that tonight."

Silence.

"Was it... too far?"

"No no." Another shake of the head as the princess curled into herself, above the blankets, feeling like a unicorn again. Her tail flicked over her front, out of the dragon's view, and she held it, stroked it. "Nothing ever too far with you. But, um. I-I... think I need some time to think about it."

The bed sunk and rose as the dragon stood from it and, in his absences, the mattress went from a pond to a sea. All that space and freedom should have been a good thing. Yet that sea of absence killed her. Especially when the size of the pond meant that she would be closer to another.

"Take all the time you need." His footsteps were like cracks against the ground, and she hid into herself to avoid his gaze. It wasn't something she could handle right now. But, to him, it must appear like she didn't want to see him. That weakness would harm him. "And... I don't need you to return anything."

That broke a line from her. "Wha... how do you mean?"

"It means that I don't need you to return anything... that way." A distant creak sounded and a footstep went past it. "It's the same as it was before. I want to do anything I can for you. I never expected anything in return for it. I want to do it for you."

Twilight swallowed. Wasn't that how love... or romance was supposed to be? You love someone and they love you? Or they don't love you—and you find someone else to love? Love had to be returned. Was the act of loving enough? To love something or someone, that in of itself, and nothing else?

Anxiety buzzed. And Twilight had enough.

"Thank you, Spike." She breathed. "Sorry we didn't get to... tonight. But I promise we will soon."

She could hear the smile beneath his chuckle. "Right. Goodnight, Twilight."

No calling me Twi.

“Good night, Spike.”

The door closed. And the princess was alone—where it was easiest to be strong.

Author's Note

Sorry for missing the usual update.

Ended up getting a VR headset and lost in a game called Reize Me.

The rest, for those who know me well, should be explained.

Until next time.
~ Yr. Pal, B

IV | Advice from an Ex
View Online

Heated Into Weakness

IV | Advice from an Ex

~ IV ~

Advice from an Ex

Spike walked through the crowd of ponies and saw the world from well over their heads, to the fountain at the center of the square, that, and all the buildings that flanked the space. Chatter and the sizzle of the sun had become one as the incoming breeze was a relief.

It was a colder breeze, unlike a few weeks before, marking the end to something, and the start of another. He shook his head and kicked it through the crowd on his route to the fountain. Various ponies sat on the benches around it—and few on the stone of its foundation.

Spike kneeled before the water looked at his reflection. Turning his face to reveal the darkness beneath his eyes and the looseness of his scales. Tired, and lacking tightness. His reflection showed more than his appearance.

It revealed what others would feel in looking at him. His essence. The lack of will inside of himself. He shook his head and cupped his claws, which he dipped beneath the water, the icy touch, pleasant. Then he raised it as his face lowered into the water.

He splashed himself. Washed himself. And the cold buds, bursted, to help him feel more alive.

"I'm afraid that public bathing is rather frowned upon nowadays," that musical voice greeted him as the cold water washed down his frills. The warm cloud summer bathed him after his wash. "Although I do not mind running a cold bath at home for an old friend."

Spike shook his head and, once done, looked at the guest over his shoulder. There stood the snowy mare in a thin, caramel dress, with some overs-side hat. Both articles had wet spots from his previous flick.

He smiled sheepishly.

As she wiped drops of water from her cheek. Her hoof stomped into the ground as she looked down at him. Rarity didn't look impressed.

"I see some things never change, do they, Spike?"

His smile dropped. "I guess not."

And then he dunk his head back into the fountain with the hopes of drowning.

"Please make yourself at home."

That was hard to do as he stepped into the room and closed the door behind with the spade of his tail. It clicked, and his footsteps cracked next into the open air. He looked around the setting. The opening of the boutique, with dressed and naked mannequins, set in rows on either side, facing him as he walked in.

He left the shadows as a circle of sunshine shone from the open windows above. Strolling beneath a low archway into the next room, the dragon found a familiar sofa, one slept on many a night, that would be retaking him.

Spike stumbled over to it and crashed into the plushness. Wrinkling the weird material these things always seemed to be made of. Leaning back was an awkward sink that still tensed his abs. But he did his best to get used to it.

Make yourself at home. Celestia. Can't even remember the last home I had.

His eyes swept the familiar setting for it all to appear alien on his eyes. Nothing had been changed or moved. Yet it was the feeling of it all. Like being at a friend's house while, you can be yourself there, you're not fully comfortable either.

That'd been what it felt like as of late. Going from one friend's house to another, allowed to stay there for a while. But it was never his. It never felt like home. But what even was that? Home? With the work put in on the farm, he could rent a place, maybe even own, with all the bits saved up.

Even if I got myself an empty flat or a dusky cave... would that be home? Or would that feel like a place I was just staying at? No matter what. I'll need to find a place soon enough. But that feeling. Home. Can I find a place where I'll feel like I belong in it?

Belong. That was the word. To go to a place and feel like you were meant to be there. That your being could be unleashed, and you, yourself, could be free. To have that feeling. That sense. He had it as a kid. With Twilight in Canterlot. The feeling of home being a home.

Does that come after making my own into my own? The stuff you have inside of it? The friends that come to visit and stay with you? Surely you and your life is what makes a place into a home. But... something's missing.

One's feelings were often clues to an incomplete truth about their soul.

"Now this should be an interesting question to as—why, with how many times I've been on the opposing side of it." Her voice had sung from the kitchen to the clinking of glasses. All sounds ceased. "But will the lady and dragon be having tea today? Or is this sort of visit a dark wine in the middle of the afternoon?"

There was a crack beneath his scales and a wince that turned his face. Rarity wasn't the kind of mare he wanted to be weak around. Not after what had happened. When she, despite her better virtues, was the type to use one's weakness against them.

Going for the tea would allow him to be strong, get the company and light conversation needed, and move on, with a clearer head and a healthier heart, on what needed to be done next. It was the right call.

And yet.

"I'll be the excuse for you to have the wine."

Distant sounds of glasses being settled on the counter.

"That might be so, dear," her voice continued a lofty melody. "But it's still dependent on you how pricey of a bottle you wish to go for."

Still have your ways of finding how messed up I am. Not the little boy that you could tell with a glance anymore. Or maybe she's just being nice. Dunno.

"That depends." Spike leaned off the couch as it groaned, resting his elbows on his knees, looking down into his clasped claws. "How much is this failure worth to you now?"

Silence.

"Not even all the bottles in my secret wine cellar is worth a scale torn from you."

He meant it as a joke or something close—but mare went for a bottle he knew she shouldn't have used for this. Soon there was the plug of a cork, the pouring in the glass, the bubbling for breath of a turned bottle. Hoofsteps then resumed into the room.

In the open archway appeared the lady with a magical blue swirl around her. The violet curls of her mane blocked an eye as the other, the one exposed, was dressed in a wispy black. Blue shone beneath in it with a half-lidded stare. Lips pulled to the side with a muzzle a touch downward.

Spike's heart accelerated at the beauty as he could feel the beginning of the sweats. She'd become even more perfect. Daring and clamming to all that which she desired. A goddess in a body of a mortal that was as devious as she pleased.

She strolled forward without her eye leaving him. Looking up at him with a slow sway to her hips. Her head inched to the side with a tilt, gazing at him with an increasing smile, prompting him to glance at the presentation.

The snowy peaks of her rump rose and dropped, every step, a little wobble, as the twins, twisted and ground, up and down, into the other. How her cutiemark flexed and compressed on the dough, it spawned across. It raced his heart. In how she could make it move. Knowing how to walk to the context of her prey.

But then her head leaned back in, blowing his view, with that smirk now full. She appeared between his legs and nuzzled into his claws, forcing them to open, which she laid her cheek upon. Plush and bountiful. Warm fur and smooth skin with the urge to softly squeeze.

Which he did.

Rarity giggled and slid out at once. His claw squeezed in the open air and, on the next, was squeezing on the glass floated into it. She laughed again while stepping back. "Careful, dear. You won't like the feeling of squeezing that. I assure you."

His head bent low. "Right."

Rarity smiled and turned. Waited for a second, then glanced back. The side of her face, the reveal of that smile, lowered muzzle and narrowed eyes. Her voluptuous backside presented to him. There. Just existing in all its perfection. All but a reach away.

She stood there, waiting, without a sense of awkwardness. Then she smiled and closed her eyes even more, walking away, still showing the rise and drop to that stadium. Strolling across the room, and the wooden table in its middle, she took a seat on the chair on the other side.

Spike looked into the glass and twirled it around. Seeing his peering face on the reflection, ripples that figured his image, parts of him, there, others carried in a blur. The more he twirled the glass, the more the flavour spread—and the less he could see himself as a whole.

Place to place. Mare to mare. Failure to failure.

He raised the glass to his lips and went for a light slip. Stung, at once, by a definite flavour of berry.

"Uh-huh-nuh! Never take a sip as the drink is still being stirred." His vision lifted from the glass to the mare across from him. Rarity sat straight in her seat, swirling her glass in magic, but never looking at it. Her gaze was on him. "You ruin the process and the taste for yourself. And sometimes, transformations, are better left unseen."

Spike turned and coughed and massaged his throat. "You sure about that? What about that motto of facing a problem boldly?"

"That's one of Rainbow's lines, dear." Rarity never looked at her glass, but slowed its speed, innately knowing its needed tempo. Her charcoal eyelashes framed the glow of her blue eyes. "Works for the sort of life that she lives. Then again. You do not live as she, do you?"

Wish I did.

Twilight probably does as well.

"No."

"Good boy! Although all life is different from your own." Rarity peered over the glass and into the wine, not needing to see into her reflection, but to ensure the extent of the process. "All we share are similarities. That's why we pick from others' experiences in aid of our troubles. Whatever seems... mutually applicable."

"Which can be sometimes not looking at problems?"

"Which can sometimes be looking at something as a problem."

Spike choked. He looked away in shame. He was a male, a dragon, a beast. Yet, he seemed to be weaker than everyone on everything. His claw twirled the glass on instinct in need to do something. Twirling the wine as it swirled around on the inside. "How can you be sure it's not?"

"Just that, rarely are we offered assurance, we are gifted with strong probabilities." She glanced at his glass and, as she continued to do so, the dragon was forced to as well. Nothing special about it. Although the wine splashed wildly inside. "Tell me. Do you know why ponds possess lily pads?"

His brow narrowed. "So frogs can hop across them?"

"Any other reason?"

"Unless I can catch a quick study break for the library? No."

Rarity smiled. Differently this time. More sincere instead of a play. It always amazed him how ponies could do the same act, in so many various ways, from genuine to everything else. All he knew was the former and lost in all the matters of the latter.

The mare, though, told him that, despite lacking that complexity—that it was a good thing.

"Perhaps it's a good reason that you don't know as it keeps their intent as it should." Rarity coughed and wiped her hoof on the fluff of her chest. She actually looked away. "Ponds have lily pads so that smaller fish may hide underneath them. They escape the view of you and me as well as those dastardly frogs. In fact. It is there where they grow most."

Spike blinked. "In hiding?"

"Correct! Most fish grow the most in being able to hide." Rarity glanced back at him. "And as much as I hate to say this, us creatures above the sea are not so much better. What myths have you grown up on again? The things those comics of yours like to say?"

Spike swallowed. "That... you grow most... in facing your problems?"

"Precisely! That you get out there, and you do." Rarity stopped swirling her drink and let it settle close to her lips. She looked at him from over the rim in toasting it to him. "Confess to that girl in the open. Beat that bully on the street. Gain those muscles in the gym. Become more out in the open. That is what is most celebrated of all."

Spike exhaled. "Isn't that true, though? Thinking a whole lot about a thing doesn't get you too much." He glanced into his drink to see that it splashed it a little less. "You learn more about yourself in your interactions." He shrugged, and the liquor whipped for it. "Anything else is all in your head."

"There is as much truth in growing in the open as there is in growing beneath a lily pad—it's when one is valued more than the other that issues arise." Rarity sipped from her drink, closing an eye, surrendering to the shudders it evoked. A breath later, she pulled it back. "Those who feel stared at are less willing to be daring. Less willing to put on that extra weight on a bar in being watched. Not wanting to make a mistake, to attempt something different, or to be themselves at all in facing a crowd."

Spike looked down as it slowly started to click. "You always feel watched, and you're less willing to do all the awkward things that cause you to grow?"

"To state the theme clearly." Rarity's eyebrow rose, and she twirled her drink again. "Keep starting at the transformation, those growing pains, and you might find they haven't developed as you would have liked. Sometimes practice is better done in the shadows. With only the occasional glance."

Rarity stopped twirling the drink for another sip, this one, this time, allowing her to recline into the seat. She laid like that, defeated, but pleasantly so. "Mhm. I do not watch the drink... only checking up when needed. And now, it is ripe."

Her magic toasted the glass in the air. "The initial state is poor, although everything required for a proper sip is there. Why is this? A lack of balance, of course." She lowered it for another sip, and then another, her tail flicking from the drink. "Were I to stare as I swirled the drink, my reflection would be a mess, and I would be lost for it."

She floated the drink to the side of her face, where it kept turning, but idly now.

"The gift of self-awareness is given with the curse of self-consciousnesses, for the two enable the other, and a balance must be strung between them as well." She tittered to herself. "Everything in life is not so much holding that balance—but in being better able to reach it."

Spike sighed and twirled his drink. It was hard to tear away his gaze. Hearing the splashes and the uneven spread. But, he refined, idly, from those sounds, allowing his body to take over for his mind.

"When the wine is being swirled, it loses its initial form, and all seems to be lost in the chaos of motion—but, despite how it looks, we know that fear is silly." Her drink paused in the air, and it's vortex ceased. It looked as how it did initially poured. "Regardless of what happens, it'll return to looking like this—for there is no other state it can be."

Spike cleared his throat. "What if it spills?"

"Indeed, that is the power behind the fear." The whiteness of her lips settled over the glass, and the next intake was a gulp; the glass tilted back to reveal its empty state. "In losing that wine, we know where our limits lie. Not so willing to spill in public. But daring to find it in private."

And now she grinned as the bottle lifted from the table and over to her glass.

"And so long as there is more wine out there in the world," she said as the glass started to fill in a dark purple, "then we can always be refilled! Now that you've made those previous mistakes." The glass filled, and she twirled it, for an excellent few twirls, and then let it settle. "You swirl the drink again, it losing its form, all to spread flavour throughout. Once the process is done, you dare that next sip."

Which she did to a smack of her lips.

"To find the taste has spread, that the drink is not so tense, and that it is balanced because of that process." Rarity hovered her muzzle over the rim, looking into her reflection. "And now I can look at myself, clearly, with a drink that's more than just pretty on the eye."

She resumed drinking and became infatuated with it. Sipping and drinking, letting it rest in her mouth, enjoying the love of it all. Bringing moisture back to her throat as the dragon sat hunched, and she laid back.

How the times have changed.

"Tell me," Spike said as he twirled the drink without looking down at it, except over at her, with a face, not defeated, but weakened. "How do you always know what's on my mind?"

"Because you are my Spikey-Wikey."

"That all?"

"And because you are like me, or how I once was, and place a great weight on the small."

"Guess you have me there."

"And that I have been thinking about you as of late." The back of Rarity's head leaned into the chair as she stared into the ceiling. Her shoulders dropped, and her frame deflated. The feeling of defeat rolled off her. "And about us. What was. What could have been. And the muddle in-between."

Spike rose and twisted a claw. "I'm still the one who messed it up."

The back of her head rolled on the rest, all to look at him, with a tired, loving gaze. "Dear. Were it so easy to blame you for everything and exempt myself from reflection. Alas, I am not that shallow. Nor you so at fault."

His gaze fell to the side. "I still failed to be what you needed me to."

"And there are some changes, some flavours, that are not initially inside that glass of wine." Rarity's giggles grew to the point of laughter that echoed from the surrounding walls. Then she breathed. "It was my expectations of you, and you lack of being able to be that, which was the death of our lust."

Spike blinked and looked back. "Lust? What about love?"

"I still love you, of course."

"And I you."

You didn't say it.

Rarity smirked at that but continued on. "Who would have thought that, in the course of our romance, that the greedy dragon would be the hopeless romantic, and the lady, the sexual deviant. To wish for romance for so long—only to find I did not have a passion for it."

"Or you had a terrible date."

"Except I had the best in the world, Spike," she smiled with a sleepily, tilted head, "and I would not lie to you on that. But I figured for a dragon like you, that you... would be wanting to claim this lady in more ways than one. I pushed you. Showered you in affection—in public."

"But that's how—"

"How normal dates are, yes, and you are not one of them, dear." Rarity fiddled and sat up on the seat. Her cup flew over the table, just before him, starting to hover. "You spent your whole life chasing after my tail. Without any real expectation to see underneath it. Spent your youth around girls—but never with one. Is it any question, then, your struggles with intimacy?"

"That wasn't your fault."

"No? And tell me, when I laid my cheek on your claw, without you fainting, have you not gotten better in that regard."

He glanced down.

"Well?"

"...yes."

She smiled. "Good to know you moved on."

His eye shut. "Did you?"

"To various partners, I’m afraid, and sometimes a different fellow later in the night."

"Shopping around?"

"Tasting wines to see which I would like in my cellar."

"That metaphor doesn't carry well."

"It does! I already have a bolt and chain and an empty basement."

Both of them laughed at that as the dragon came to lean back into the sofa, able to look and feel awkward, for it no longer was so to present company. He held out his glass and clinked her own. Then the two sipped without a toast—though to settle the little, complex things, still between them.

"Although," Rarity broke after her sip as the wine soothed her voice, "there is room in my growing harem should you wish to be in it. I do not know how far solved your... problems are. But I assure you our times together will be one one one, slower, and as personal as they were before."

Spike coughed on the drink as it went down, coughing and laughing, rubbing a claw at his sore throat. He croaked through the blockage. "H-Heh! So easy." He stroked to help the passage down. "All those years of thinking and feeling and trying. Just for you to make an offer like that."

Rarity nodded. "Things don't carry the same weight as they used to."

He did the same. "Time goes faster and feels less full."

"Only with improper company, dear."

"Touche."

Spike put his other claw to the drink, cupping it with both, swirling it around, delicately now, loosened by its taste. He no longer watched his reflection, instead, the twirl of the wave, how smooth it was, ensuring it stirred right. Focus on that set everything at ease.

Could I do that now? Now that I'm... no longer afraid? Learned in the dark to tend to a mare so that I could be causal at it in the light? With an offer so free like that... no feelings or love attached... just a mutual 'feeling good' for both sides. To be in that casual string of dates and getting it on like most do.

He sighed as the stirring of the drink slowed.

I can do that now. Maybe not to the same degree as Rarity. She just wants a good time for a long while before slowing down with someone else. I could get that. Have her for more practice. Make up for all those times I left her dry—and forcing her to move onto various stallions at a time.

Yet.

After settling.

An inhale of the drink revealed lavender.

"Thank you for the offer... but I have a few other problems with a mare that I need to take care of first." He sipped the drink, and continued to do so, tilting his head back to down the glass. Once done, he wiped his lips with his wrist. "What we have is light. But it wouldn't be right to be going around that."

Rarity smirked and finished her drink, slowly, more delicately, letting him see the little lump as it passed down her throat. Once done, she turned, looking at him, licking the corner of her lips for the blood still there. "Knew it would be a matter of time before a sweaty mare needed your assistance. Now whoever could that be? Someone that you couldn't refuse more than you could me?"

"I... always wanted to be there for you, Rares."

"Yes. Yet I never gave you the room to grow it. Let's not touch about that now."

"Right."

"Was it sweet Fluttershy being unable to ask for a stallion that came for your comfort?"

"Uh, no." He blinked. "Though maybe I would have, if it was—"

"Has Applejack gotten tired of her gimmick? Cooling her toys to help deal with the steam." Her tongue clicked at her teeth. "Certainly a way to keep things interesting with that girl."

"Rarity... you really shouldn't be telling me this about the girls. I'm close. But not close in the way that you girls—"

"Did you get the pleasure of fucking Rainbow Dash on a cloud? The sights, feeling, wind on your scales and dick inside her—"

"RARITY!"

"Hey! Don't you know it's rude to interrupt a lady?" She covered her face with a cross of forelegs, and, only hearing the dragon exhale, did she peek through them. "And, by the way, there's no way you enjoyed the delights of Pinkie Pie if you're still shameful about all this."

Spike collapsed as to take every word personally would never lead to an end in the assault. "I didn't do anything with our friends. Or strangers for anyone. Alright?"

Rarity winked between her forelegs before they fell. "That only leaves your best friend."

Anything inside had vanished. Hate or love or the effect of the jokes in the air. The sudden dulling of his scales and the scratching aches of his heart. His expression dropped, his head next, his gaze after that. "Twilight. She... it's a lot worse for her."

"One only needs to see those papers to glimpse that." His glance to her was met with a raised hoof. "Rest assured. Only her friends could tell. Anyone else would guess it to be how awkward that whole day had gone. Princess having to deal with other shameless mares being in heat at her speech? That's the common view of her strangeness that day."

Spike looked to the floor. "Because one never thinks of the stoic princesses getting hot and bothered."

"And yet our purple delight is baking on the inside." Rarity's brow narrowed. "She's not baking one of your little ones inside of her yet, is she?"

Spike shook his head. "Celestia, no. We're not even that far along yet. Would need to get her used to having someone before I..."

He blinked. "Huh. I've... never thought about having kids before."

Rarity sounded amused—but not insulting with it. "And why is that, dear?"

"Because I never figured I'd get... close enough with a mare... like that... to have them." His eyes were blinking as to process something too large for their comprehension. "The biology isn't there for it. I'd never get close enough with a dragon to want it. This land is my home, and..."

Home. My home is with ponies. But where in that land do I feel the most at home?

"Guess I just never saw a point in thinking about something that will never happen."

There was silence for a while and no reply. No wine left to sip and an empty drink to twirl. He did so even though there was no point, or maybe the motion was the point, something to occupy himself with. Soon magic sizzled. And the sounds of liquid pouring exhausted into the air.

"Sometimes it's in thinking about what we cannot have, Spike, we still learn on who we would like to be." His glass filled and was already being stirred right. "But if there were ever to be a mare more important than me in that heart of yours. It would have to be Twilight."

Rarity hovered the bottle back to the stand. "But, surely, sexually messing around with Twilight must be a new weird."

His head cocked, and he shrugged. It was easier to talk about another mare and doing the sexy bits now. Maybe because what they had done allowed something to be proven deep inside of him. "Not anymore weird than we usually are. She's my best friend. I'd lose everything and dare anything for her."

"You've always loved her."

"Of course I have. She's Twilight."

"Would you like her to be your Twilight?"

How does one even answer a question like that? "It's the only thing I've ever felt greedy for."

"But?"

"She deserves someone better."

"Oh, please. Poor mare in heat, and you came up as Twilight's first choice."

"Maybe. Just... I... I don't know what I feel for her." His eyes squeezed tight, and memories raced of her. The long strands of fuzz pointed from her cheeks. How easily her chest could be a wonderland of fluff. Her blush. The way her bangs covered her eyes. "I love her. But I wouldn't... start calling her babe. Even marefriend isn't right."

"Have you said anything to her yet?"

"I said I love you."

Then it clicked.

"I love you." His head shook. "I used to think that... that was a terrible line. Everyone says it. Doesn't have any weight behind it at all. Love's something that has be proven, right? You have to say what you love about them. Have a passion behind it. Have..."

"Or maybe you don't need to have those things at all."

"Yeah." Spike thought about it some more. "I guess if you're feeling the need to prove that you love someone—that love isn't strong enough to be the proof itself. But I love you. That 'you' can only mean her. That 'I love you' is unique from the rest because that 'you' can only mean her."

Rarity's eyebrow raised, but she didn't raise a fuss, as first—and, hopefully, final—loves tended to be odd. She allowed the dragon to babble.

"I love Twilight. That I know. Always have and always will." His head shook. "I never needed anything in response to that. Just being around her. Getting to be with her. Loving her because... because it's the most natural thing in the world."

His heart led the words as his mind remained confused.

"Everything she does is nice. Her voice. The giddiness about a discovery. Even how snide she can be at times. The way she blushes and hides into herself. How she'll lay close to her, burning, barely able to look at you—but melting you when you do."

He exhaled.

"I could never see myself on the other side of that. It feels... selfish, and wrong. But then she's done so much to show that I also deserve to have someone and to have... things done to me. I don't love her like a marefriend. Don't even love her as a friend. I just... love her. That's it and that's all."

His eyes closed.

"Not just a friend or a marefriend or a friend with benefits as to give it an identity is to limit it. I just love her, and that composes what she is to me. I love her. I... love her." Steam evaporated from his words as he sighed in being brought back to the weight of the present. "Love her so much because I got to see so much more this last while. What could be for when she finds that special someone."

Rarity coughed and, although she tried to keep her eyes on him, couldn't bear to do so. “And this... love.” She swallowed. "Have you confessed it?"

"Not... quite like that." He chuckled. "But yes."

"And her response?"

"...do you need to ask?"

Rarity looked down and to the side. "Suppose not."

Any hope for an answer to the problem, a revelation that would cause things to change, it all faded, at that moment, as nothing he could do could reverse that choice. Already he had his transformation, his understanding, and acceptance of what was to be.

"Still agreed to help her with her heat, although it's quiet, and she tends to look away." Spike coughed and did so again. Rubbing his throat and then soothing it with a sip of wine. The world became loose in his vision. "We were close to, uh, s-sex before I told her that. She doesn't want to go that far, now, as to, um, f-further complicate things."

Rarity snickered horribly to herself. Or maybe at herself. "Afraid that won't be enough to deal with the sting below and between."

Spike nodded. "Been getting the feeling of that." He sighed. "Thinking, maybe, I find someone that could... be there for her in that."

Rarity clicked her teeth but said nothing more. Wanting to insult him for such a line but not finding it right. Some matters did not have fancy words to be spoken upon. Rather one had to endure the turmoil of being silent.

"But I think... I was always going to be okay with this," Spike said without doubt in his voice, although his mind followed it slowly. "Always knew, maybe from you, that all you could do was love someone and do all you did for them because of that. But to never expect it in response. Or else you would be betraying that compulsion."

Rarity's snout scrunched. "It's not wrong to want love in response, Spike. Even if I were such a hollow mare as to have no desire for that quality—you should still find someone that does, and has it for you."

He smiled. "And I will, someday. But I'm content just to love for now." It amazed him how, in never saying that word for most of his life—that he preached it, maybe thinly, in a day. "But I think it's best I call this thing off with Twilight. If it's my goal to help her, then..."

"Right."

Both of them finished their drinks, and they rose, the mare and the dragon, he so much taller, as she had to tilt her head back. But they were smiling in a way. Though the years and after so much turmoil, now, to be like this, so grown and so different.

"Spike? A request before you leave?"

Spike lowered onto a knee as she trotted close. "Anything."

"You've become a proper gentledrake and I an improper lady, and I wish, before it brings you pain, for you to lose that title when it finally starts to drain you." Her white hoof laid on his knee, rubbing it. "But until that time comes. I need you to promise, no matter what, to be there for Twilight."

His eyes narrowed in confusion.

"I was the one to string that horrible affair for her and, ever since then, she and I have not been as close." Rarity shook her head and looked aside. "Neither does she go to bars to find someone else for occupying the other side of her queen-sized bed. But she might be going back to that kind of life. Your fear of her becoming like me might be coming true."

His eyes playfully rolled.

"But regardless of what happened, no matter the pain, promise me, the next morning, that you will be there for her." There was a strain and a crack in her voice. No longer composed or well or sounding above another. Rather the raw creations from the pieces of a dulling heart. "Even if she has hurt you. With a word or an act or a lack of care to something important. Please. Let it rest in the back of her mind, no matter the terrible date, or the twenty-fourth ending of the world, that you will still be there."

Spike smiled as his claw slipped to her hoof, coming to lift it, squeeze it, and hold it. He looked into the mare's eyes as his other claw came to support her cheek, stroking it, not mentioning the touch of tears on his scales. "Number one assistant from birth to death and even after that. More than that, though, I love her."

Rarity was able to smile back while lying in his palm. "Indeed, that is all the assurance that I will ever need."

The two kept like that in the shadow of the room, until light rolled across, the clouds in the sky, moving away, as to let light shine in the place that once was dark. Everything between them. There'd been no hatred between them. But this was their proper resolution.

The ability, after their pain, to be truly happy for the other.

For the mare groomed as a lady only to find she preferred lust over love.

And the dragon, to find his love, and the one it belonged to, only to never have it delivered.

Author's Note

Howdy gang! Managed to get this chapter out just before the deadline.

Don't have much to write about this entry due to real-life stresses and problems. Should you be willing to help me in any regard, here's where I go more in-depth about it.

Here.

WIth that out of the way—let's get on with the story!
~ Yr. Pal, B

V | So Long! But I Must Be Going
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Heated Into Weakness

V | So Long! But I Must Be Going

~ V ~

So Long! But I Must Be Going

Fluttershy still blushed when she held the cup—or the glass, rather—and gazed into its burning contents. That's not to say the contents were burning—but they burned her tongue and throat and inside her belly once she drank it. That wasn't to say that it was hot as its temperature was lukewarm but—

"Shy?"

She blinked sweetly and looked across the wooden table. It was a plush, round bench that went around it—with Applejack sitting at the other side. They were in a wooden cubicle without a window to her right. Softly burning fires lit the scene overhead as the sensation of night was felt.

"Yes?"

"I was askin' your trick for beatin' the season." Applejack's head threw back with the shot and slammed back down with a gasp afterward. She twitched an eye in the internal rodeo with the drink. "Not breakin' a sweat neither are you cloudin' the air with your tail. What's yer secret?"

"Um." Her face burned scarlet and her muzzle dipped into the glass. She started to lick at the drink—only to wince. Shivering and enduring a glare from the other side of the table, Fluttershy sighed, closed her eyes, and threw back the liquid. "UhmmmhmmM!"

Applejack shook her head and rested an elbow on the table before leaning her cheek onto her hoof. She looked aside with a spitting look. "Ask a gal how she cools down and she just takes somethin' to make her burn up."

She continued shaking her head. "I swear. These days. I'm considerin' goin' for an icicle."

"Ew."

"And now she talks!"

Fluttershy's shoulders dropped as she lowered her glass to the table. "It's embarrassing."

"More than Rarity's rants on stallion's undercarriages during our spa dates?"

“T-That's because s-she's embarrassing herself.”

"And that gal don't even know embarrassment anymore."

"But when it's with me, I..."

"Promise you no other soul will know."

"...one already does?"

"Huh? But how would... oooooh." Applejack blinked. "You found yourself a toy or a boy?"

Fluttershy swallowed. "Boy."

"Friend? More than that?"

Fluttershy wiggled her tush to the left of the velvet seat—not minding the sensation—to lean out and peer from the cubical. The bar was mostly empty save for a band, far in a corner, tuning their guitars and lazily playing notes.

Few stallions sat far north to where the counter was. Too hunched and tired and absorbed in idle talk to care to listen for them. Fluttershy leaned back in and looked to Applejack. She smiled through her embarrassment until, finally, finding her voice.

"I've um, h-have had Discord in my house for a long while that, t-throughout the years..."

Applejack's face recoiled. Her gaze remained on Fluttershy as her hooves fetched the bottle to her right. "Wait wait. You and Discord. This whole time? That's how you've—"

"No no no! Nothing like that!" Fluttershy surrendered her hooves to the air. "You girls would have picked up on that. Rarity at the least. I mean, she did, recently, but..."

Applejack bit the neck of the bottle and poured another shot, still glaring. "News nawt tha dime tha pawush."

Fluttershy glanced down at her pressed-together hooves. "Just that, b-because we were sharing the same house and I... I... I did not want him to ever know of me in that state that I... I asked him if he could perform some magic."

Applejack returned to the bottle with a glare that barely softened. "...by magic, you meanin' the real thing, oooooooor—"

"Real thing! Real thing! Not so real thing later.”

Applejack's glare became confused.

Fluttershy cleared her throat. "Rather he had a spell that could reduce the internal heat and, uh, other f-functions in a mare during heat. M-Meaning that—"

"That you could cool off without needing a cold bath or some zany pill." Applejack rolled her eyes and crossed her forelegs. "Both used to do it for me until lately." She went for her shot. "Hey! Just a moment! How come you never offered those services?"

Fluttershy smile became horribly stretched. "You... never asked?"

Applejack downed the drink, fought it, endured it, and overcame it. "Fine. Don't want us known' you're like other mares. Get it."

"But... I'm am like other mares.” Fluttershy finally looked away and hid beneath the waterfall of her mane. "At least. That spell. I-It worked. B-B-But this year. T-There was something else." She exhaled steam and watched it waft over her snout. "E-Even when I was cool, I was... bothered. Bothered. Bothered about a lot of things."

Applejack didn't speak.

"I'd lay back in my bed only for it to be empty." Fluttershy breathed slowly. "Tomorrow being the same as yesterday. Knowing that I... wasn't getting any younger. That I hadn't found romance. I figured that, y-y'know, m-m-maybe I am a little shy—that it would be harder to find someone."

Breathing was becoming harder to do.

"But that I would find someone." She looked down. "And that I would get to live that romance. Ponies talk about me." She smiled. "Rarity tells me all the gossip. But I never see it, hear it, or feel it. And... and it's only to go down. Until there's nothing there at all."

"You'll find someone, Shy, I know ya will."

Fluttershy was able to look back at her friend, with a smile that was grown. "I, um, a-already did."

And now Applejack was smiling. "Mister magic caster did another sort of spell, did he?"

Fluttershy did not answer. But the blush dressed across her snout, which was nodding, was more than enough. Applejack chuckled and leaned back in her seat. She looked up. "Was thinin' 'bout that myself the other day. Our bodies gettin' so dang hot as to annoy us. But then. I think that's your body tryna get you to do somethin' before it reaches yer mind."

Fluttershy blinked but was listening.

"You get hot and bothered and you look for a colt to cool that off with." Applejack poured another glass with her hooves this time. "Maybe you get close to this colt afterward cause you need to keep going to him for that. That's your romance and love figured out. Someone consistent and close that no friend can be. Then a bun goes in the oven and you're set."

She grinned. "Your body gets hot so your mind doesn't have to be bothered later with all those questions and regrets and none of that. Only so long you can cool the body before the mind is bound to spark. Then either ya gotta submit or find a way to cool that."

She lifted the glass to her lips but did not drink. "I wonder which one I'll end up choosin'."

Applejack went for the drink before hearing the kicking of a door and the ringing of a chime. The heavy sounds of footsteps and lumbering bodies coming through. Both mares glanced out of the cubical to see the new squad.

Spike ducked through the door as Big Mac walked at his side and Discord floated behind. The mares leaned back, without a significant reason as to why, decided, in a mutual glance, to keep quiet. Their footsteps passed to the counter where the scratching of a stool came next.

"Telling you my dears."

Spike's glare could be heard. "Sirs."

"No no! You two are dear to my heart, and you must come to know that whenever I call you that."

"No no." Even the jab of a talon could be sensed. "You're going to make a joke about how we're dearer than sirs—and I'm not listening for the punchline."

"Party-pooper."

"Enduring three rejections will do that to a dragon."

"Which is why you are more a dear than a sir!"

A claw struck the counter. "Damn it."

The deep voice of Mac spoke next. "Three?"

"Lost Rarity. Get Twilight to lose Twilight. Decide not to get back with Rarity." Spike sighed and slumped. "Maybe not rejections—but somethin' close to that. Hard night. Give me a break."

Discord groaned. "May I speak before our grump has the chance to steal our night with his woes? Good! Now then, dear and sir, the article of the night! There is nothing more dangerous than a mare that knows that she is pretty.”

Silence.

"Sounds about right," Spike said.

"Don't figure," Mac replied.

"That's because you don't have a marefriend that's pretty," Spike went on.

"Comin' from one that don't have one at all?" Mac shot down.

"Point to you." The dull crack of a forehead against wood sounded as the dragon crossed his arms over his head. "But I meant more than your marefriend is more gorgeous than pretty. Different kinds of beauty and all that."

Silence.

"Crud," Mac sighed. "Sometimes I get you mixed up with Discord." His hoof rapped the counter "Tender! Bottle from the top shelf. Somethin' to kill my friend on the inside here." There were footsteps, a clink of glasses, and the pouring of a liquid.

"And now! Once more! If I may so bring the attention to myself!" Discord seemed to be sliding the drinks to his friends. "Spike my boy is correct. Fluttershy is a mare that is pretty but, thankfully, only half the time knows it. But in those halftimes—I am her slave."

The other friends were silent.

"She makes you lick her hooves?"

"If she were to peek out from behind her mane, with twinkling eyes, a blush, and the ask for me to do so? I'm afraid I would have even murder you too, without a grand reason, were it to be even a silly wish of hers."

Spike coughed after his shot. "Makes sense. Nothing you can do about a mare being pretty. Maybe you can fight it down. But they'll always have that effect on you. And when it's so easy to come up, and so hard to fight down, you're pretty much screwed."

"Fluttershy is indeed a pretty mare." Discord seemed to be toasting a glass. "And I indeed should be screwed once she properly uses that against me."

Spike took another shot and, though he groaned, handled it better this time. "Didn't you go from villain to hero because she smiled at you sweetly?"

"My point exactly." Discord poured all their glasses. "Thousands of years of being evil to be defeated by a mere smile." He chuckled. "Now imagine if she were to give me a real request with a bat of her eyelashes."

"You love her?"

Seconds passed.

Then a sigh.

A slump.

A groan.

"I'd love her even if she were not so pretty." Discord then grumbled. "Which, wouldn't be possible, even in old age with a loss of her hair." Then he sighed again. "Please, though. Don't rattle me on this one. At least—not tonight."

Spike's claw hooked around his shoulder. "Nah nah. That's good to hear. Some things you have to take seriously, so you don't have to with all the other stuff. Proud of you. And, uh, all the other stuff a bro is supposed to say."

"You're doing good," Mac added.

Discord grumbled but did not raise a fuss. "Thank you... sirs, I do suppose."

Back in the booth where the mares had not even allowed their heartbeat, the friends looked at each other, with Fluttershy crossing her hooves over her chest. She swallowed. Nearly in tears. Tucking in her lips, biting, wanting to rush out, without a care, and kiss that goofball.

But like her, the two had caught to the voice of Spike, daring even to peek out from the cubical. He sat hunched with his elbows heavily resting on the counter. His face was forlorn and he drank shots as though eating candy. Not someone that was alive, but merely, just there.

"Hey... Discord?" The dragon's head turned and, in so doing, they could see the side of his face. The darkened purple of his scales, the dried state of his spines, the way his frills hung heavier. That, and his eyes. They were known to glow, but now, were dim. "I've got uh, another reason for callin' us out."

Discord and Mac scooted away from the dragon. "You're not deciding to switch teams, are you? Full acceptance. Just that I'm not free."

"Me neither."

"Stick it to both of you."

"Oh no."

"Oh dear."

"Buzz off! Serious here."

"Right."

"Aye."

Spike closed his eyes and breathed deeply for a moment, wobbling in place, barely keeping himself together. When his eye opened again, it burned, just a little, a glow that came in being powered by the idea of another. "There was a spell I was reading up on that you used to do. Not quite cloning—but you could make a stallion exist for a night, right."

Discord's eyebrow raised. "I... well, sure, perhaps? Not that it would have a great life of its own but—"

"I have a friend, a dear friend, going through something right now—where cooling off and helping herself isn't doing the trick." Spike looked back to his drink and raised it between a set of digits. "I need something that could be created like that, y'know, help her through the nights. Give her someone to cool off with and then snuggle against afterward."

Discord leaned back. "That's... uh... er... afraid to say this—but kinda strange."

"Aye."

Spike nodded and looked into his drink, swirling it, smoothly. "I know. No doubt she could create the spell herself. But she needs someone else. And I... dunno. Just at the end of my ladder." He rubbed the side of his head and leaned into it. "Sorry. Guess I'm not making much sense anymore. Just... harder to keep myself together."

Discord breathed. "Three rejections will do that to you."

Spike drank his drink. And then he drank another. More and more to fill himself on something. The friends extended an arm to him, as he continued the drink, the rest joining in, drinking shot after shot. They didn't say much throughout the night.

Applejack and Fluttershy looked at each other, being filled on the past, yet being unable to do anything in the present. Their hearts ached, yet it was not their place to do anything more. They also drank.

The reason why ponies drink, above them all, is because alcohol is consistent. Always there and always to the same effect. Some drink to get drunk, of course. But most drink due to the consistency the beverage provides.

And sometimes, in life, all one can do, is, of course, drink.

The streets were cool and the winds were cooler as the drunken dragon stumbled across the cobblestone path, from side to side, barely able to keep himself straight. Soon his feet dance on polished stone and, catching on to each other, as he fell forward.

His frame slammed into smooth coolness and a wave of dust gusted out beneath his frame. His chin laid on the ground, his eyes, opening to reveal the rotations of the world around. They closed and she grumbled.

Would it be so wrong for him to just be like this for a while?

U-Useless. W-Weeks since bar... couldn't even... find guy...

He laid like that for a while.

Promised... would... her tonight... heart hurts... lied about that... just friends... yeah...

Spike decided to lie like that for a while.

Cold winds struck over the baloney poised over the castle to reveal the nation's sweeping land beneath it. Chilled marble and golden shoes frosted as Princess Luna stood in the chilling moonlight. She stood alone. Preferred it that way. Then was overjoyed to hear hoofsteps behind.

"Enjoying your work?"

Luna smiled. "Trying to get lost in it, I'm afraid."

"Lucky are you." Celestia trotted to her side and, together, they looked at the night sky. "You may peer at the moon for as long as you wish. Yet not even sunglasses help with me and the sun."

The two chuckled.

And the winds blew.

"Sister? Are you not worried? About your student, I mean?"

Celestia laughed. "I'm always worried. Even more when I must do nothing."

"You do not believe as though she'll make the right choice?"

"It's in our choices where our faith in someone is proven." Celestia sighed and it was taken away with the breeze. "My feelings are against her, at the moment, but in choosing not to intervene—that is the marker of my trust in her."

Luna glanced down. "To go in the path of Cadance or in the route of us?"

"Cadance could never be a queen."

"And neither could we."

"Which is why all of our stakes rely on Twilight." Celestia breathed and breathed and found nothing of the sky did anything to cool her inside. "Warmth or coldness. Strength or weakness. What she does with elements of those is up to her."

"And the spell?"

"It's prepared."

"Shame Discord could never learn to do it."

"It's deepest extent was meant only for us."

"And quite possibly Twilight."

"Indeed. It depends on who, and what, she decides to be."

"I fear for her, Tia."

"As do I, Lulu."

The sisters looked at each other.

"I'm glad to have you."

"As am I, you."

The room stank of sex even though it had yet to occur, the dragon falling to the right of the mare, breathing, as she laid back herself. Spike huffed and lifted his claw. Sticky toy held which he then tossed away. "Was... that... ahahah... any better?"

Twilight laid on her back, panting, doing her best to nod. "Y-Yeah. Y-You were right. F-Feels... better... when someone else is doing it."

"G-Good... that's good... very good."

Twilight's head rolled on the pillow, and she looked at him from the side, beneath the veil of his bangs. "You... want a return?"

His claw waved her off. "N-Nah. Got... everything I needed."

She rolled her head and licked her lips and groaned. "Buuuut I didn't even do anything!"

Spike chuckled. He laid an arm over his own chest. Soft forelegs never draped over him anymore. He still longed for it. Touching and holding himself, it seemed, helped with overcoming that feeling. "Call me strange! But getting you off is enough to get me off. It's no biggie."

Twilight's eyes rolled and she flipped back onto her back. "Riiiight."

They laid there for a while, in silence, where, as the seconds ticked, the awkwardness increased. Should the dragon be going now? Was this his cue to leave? It was harder to read those now. Sometimes Twilight wanted him around as much as she wanted him gone. It was getting harder to read the signs.

And, had this started before he'd gotten used to intimacy, then the poor dragon probably would have suffocated on himself. Glancing over to the window, he saw it was opened, and that the mare was curling wings around herself for it.

"Guess the nights are getting a bit cooler." His frame slid from the bed and stood upon his feet in shuffling around to the window. He pulled the planes back, sealing them with a sigh. "I, uh, c-can make the room... warmer, if needed."

Glancing over his shoulder revealed the back of the mare, already facing him, and the back of her head shaking. "N-No. That'll be alright. Thank you, Spike."

"No problem." He glanced down. "Whole point of this is to cool off anyway."

"Mmhm."

Sadness stole his expression and his heart weighed a brick. Body lethargic and mind a swamp. He stood there for a bit. Enough so for Twilight to glance over from the side of her barrel. He didn't bother looking back. "Say, Twilight? I have something to tell you."

He could hear her swallow. The sudden release of nervousness into the air. Caused by him and his feelings for her and whatever he might expect out of her from them. Knowing this made it easier to admit his next line. But Twilight's care was still for him. "Is everything okay, Spike?"

"I-It is." Spike turned and leaned his back onto the icy window, not caring for the pain, wanting to feel something beyond the awkward air. "Just that... work is a bit harder on the farm as of late. Season's soon to change. Few helpers are going to be out of a job because of me."

Twilight winced though it was hard to tell for. Her amethyst gems turned away as she resumed laying away from him. Her ears drooped. "O-Oh. I see. M-Maybe you need a trip to the spa? Trained massages for troubled muscle groups?"

His head shook and his arms crossed. "No no. Nothing like that." Though a massage from you would be lovely. Spike blushed. "Just figured that... while being able to do the job of multiple ponies was cool at first... putting them out of work was not."

Twilight chuckled. "Mister 'I feel useless at everything' to ' I'm better than several ponies at most things.'"

Spike also chuckled. "Through no credit of my own! Being born as a dragon will do that to you." He sighed and looked aside. "And when I go to work with other dragons, I'm sure to be the weakest of the lot."

Now that caused the mare to roll back around as her mane spread across the pillow. Long strands hung over her face, but it still could be seen, in the awash of moonlight. Her eyes were wide, burning at the moment, her chest steadily rising and dropping. She didn't speak as to not expose herself.

"Wrote to Ember and she said there was work and a cave with my name on it." Spike smiled and still could not return his gaze—even as hers laid on him. It hurt too much to go through this. Properly this time. "Figured I could give pony work back to ponies, get out of your mane, and get some experience working and living with my own lot for a while."

Twilight swallowed. And then she choked on it. Spike looked lower at this.

"P-Perm... p-p-permanent?"

Spike took a deep breath and looked to the ceiling, and endured the sting of tears that pricked at the corners of his eyes. Needing so much air as to patch over the holes in his words punctured by his weakness. "Who's to say? Temporary at the moment."

He shakily exhaled. "But if things go well... who knows."

Maybe I'll even find someone to love me.

He clenched his eyes.

Stop that. Get out. Get to work. Keep yourself calm and stable.

"W-Well, i-if that's h-how you f-feel..." Twilight swallowed again, and kept doing so, with sharp intakes through her snout. "Then... then it's good for you to be moving on. In your direction. Following your own path. Getting out there in a new environment with your own kind s-should make you... feel more c-complete with certain things."

"Yeah."

"And I take it... we'll have to call this off?"

"Yeah."

Twilight turned away. "That's alright."

Spike breathed. "Will you be alright for—"

"Heat shouldn't last for too much longer." A soft and weak giggle broke from her. "You stuck it out for me for the majority of it. I... can handle the last days of it by myself."

Or find yourself someone you can go all the way.

"Thanks, Twilight."

"No. Thank you, Spike. Really. Truly. For everything."

"Right."

"So, uh, y-you plan on..."

"In the next few days, yeah."

"Promise to write?"

"Like you every week to Celestia."

"Leave out the naughty parts."

"Back to our usual routine?"

"L-Looks like it."

"The comedic duo—back at it."

"More o-official like too."

"Exactly what a princess would need."

"Yuuup."

Silence.

"So long, Twilight."

"Take care, Spike."

Footsteps cracked and sheets ruffled.

"Oh, um, Spike?"

"Yeah."

"Don't forget that I love you."

His smile could be heard. "Love you too, Twi."

Same words spoken before, without any love or feeling, the sake of social need demanding them to be spoken. Back before all of this had happened. They'd said 'love you' because out of tick wanting it so. Yet it was clinical. Said for the sake of being said. Nothing more beneath its creation.

It's what they were supposed to say and do.

And yet.

What is the point of hollow words beyond shallow reassurance?

The door squeaked open and the footsteps disappeared behind it. There was a click and nothing more. Nothing but darkness and heavy sheets and a room that smelled of her dragon. Twilight choked a sob. Eyes wet and cheeks becoming moist. Unable to keep the sobs from infecting her voice.

They cracked. Each and every one. She laid on her back, crying, sobbing, whimpering, a total collapse within. Coming to curl into herself to chase the minimal comfort and warmth there. But it wasn't enough. Hugging her tail and crying into it. Nothing greater came from it.

And the mare cried by herself for most of the night.

"I must admit you look rather dashing in that outfit, darling," Rarity said with a step back and a pur behind a raised hoof. She glanced up and down his figure, blinking, as though recording mental photos. "Sure you do not care to be my lover for a few nights? Allowing me to get my fill of you before you're gone?"

Spike dropped his arms from above his head as they swung to his waist, the powerful stroke of wind blowing back his coat. It floated up with a ruffle before falling back to his ankles. It was a faded green with a thickness that matched his form, which the fabric also hugged, revealing his lithe nature.

And the brown, adventurous scarf, accentuated the look.

"Afraid I'd clump up or get too attached or mess up some other third thing." Spike stood on the modelling altar, reaching a claw inside the coat, feeling for all the pockets and the extent of their depth. Twirling to feel how the tailed spun and how the outfit floated from him. "But this is nice, Rarity. Really kind of you. The other dragons will probably tear me up for sure about it."

Rarity snickered and snapped close the tape measure in her magic. "So long as one lovely lady tears you out of that coat—I will have deemed it a success." She set it on her workbench. "Just a shame that such a lady would not be me. Even more so Twilight Sparkle. But let us leave that matter behind us."

"Let's."

"Though she was okay with you leaving us for so long and for so far away?"

"Not like I can't visit, or you do the same for me."

"Suppose that's so."

"I think getting out there really will do a lot for me." Spike stuffed his claws into the coat's outer pockets, swinging back and forth, feeling the coat float those ways. It was a nice feeling. Sometimes an outfit could empower someone in its matter. "Out from the mess of here. Getting to be with dragons. Going to be harder competing with my own bracket. But... that'll be a good thing. No longer having it easier simply because of what I am."

Rarity smiled as she walked over to the bench, turning her face from side to side before its mirror, checking for spots, or just admiring herself. "Although I do believe the girls and I love you for who you are, dear."

"Doesn't feel like that's anyone much nowadays, Rares."

She turned only to see his raised claw.

"But let's leave that to the past as well," he suggested with a pleading look.

Rarity's eyes rolled. "Let's."

"But it'll be good." Spike's claw dropped with him smiling above it. "It'll force me to get better and to learn what my kind is usually like. Customs and all that. Being away from all my problems. Learning how to truly be on my own in strange land. It'll be nice."

Rarity smiled back as the dragon stepped down the boost and started to make his way to the door. He stopped halfway and looked back at her from over his shoulder. "Sure I don't owe you anything for this?"

"A going away gift is called a gift for a reason, Wiley," Rarity chided. "Now go along now! Goodbyes are too troublesome on my heart. Be sure to pay me a final visit when I have my tears and tissues ready to go at the same time."

"Right, right."

"Besides, I have a date just after this." She giggled and brushed her hooves. "Now shoe!"

"Aye aye."

Rarity's giggles died as she smiled at herself in her mirror. Lazily floating over a brush and watching it work on the spirals of her mane. Something gnawed at her. What it was—was apparent. Best to let what cannot be solved be forgotten.

But at the ring of the doorbell and the squeaking of the door.

"Spike! Darling, wait for a second, please."

His reflection paused in the glass and he looked up. Over his jacket's collar which hid most of his jaw and left his eye to burn above it. She blushed, wiggled in place, breathed and settled herself. Good to know I fell for him for proper reasons.

"I know we agreed not to bring this up but... are you sure you don't bear any other regrets? Or feel as though you are on the path of making them? Wasn't your wish to always be there for her?"

His smile poked out from his collar. "I'll always be there for her. But, trust me. I'm more harm than help for her at the moment." He breathed deeply. "I'm always there at the first call. Flown home at the first letter."

Rarity's expression shattered like glass. "But we're talking about Twilight here, dear." Her muzzle dropped, and her shoulders fell, and she collapsed. "Twilight's the girl to only go for help that's there. I-If it's not, due to one reason or another, she's bound to suffer alone."

She shakily exhaled. "Even if help was the easiest thing to call for."

The dragon looked at her for a while and, after his shoulders dropped, he looked away. "I know. Known her too long not to know that."

"We can't be around her like we always used to." Rarity turned and saw her stool and barely managed to clamber onto it. "Lovers are the only ones close enough to pick up that slack. She's a princess. She's..."

"She's also freaking Twilight Sparkle—which is a danger onto itself."

Rarity shouldn't have—but she laughed. "Quite indeed."

"But I can't help Twilight when I can barely help myself." His head turned outside the door, to the cold, open air. Light and freedom all for them to explore out there. "And even then I would still be there for her. But I... I just can't take it anymore. The way she treats me. Doesn't do it to be malicious. She's not a bad pony. It's all just... just too much for me anymore."

Rarity sighed.

"It's not healthy or fair for me to keep inside of that anymore." Spike shook his head and raised a claw, and clenched it before his face. "I need to get out and make something of myself first. Get that stability. Maybe, after that, maybe I can go back to being like that for her again. But I can't expect to carry her on broken shoulders."

And now he sighed.

"Especially when she doesn't feel the same way."

"So just loving her isn't enough anymore."

"It will be—once I'm strong enough to support it."

"Then I suppose I was a fool to assume you haven't thought this through." Rarity turned away to cross her forelegs on her workbench, laying the side of her head onto them. "Maybe you won't be without regrets. But, at the very least, you can be sure in your path. Take care, dear."

"Thanks, Rarity." He was barely out through the door before his next line. "My only real regret is going to be leaving her while she's still in heat."

Rarity's eyes had closed. Enough to cancel off the date and steal some sleep. Indeed she barely heard the dragon. One critical line, however, shattered her skull and ricocheted inside her mind—that burning passage of words.

"While she's still in heat." Dear? Are you...

The chime of the door was seconds away.

"Spike! Spike Spike Spike! Spikey Spike Spike Spike!"

Spike stopped and stepped back inside and turned around. His expression was lifted into shock. "Yeah! What is it? What's wrong? Did you cut yourself?"

"Not while there's not any sad music playing—tch, enough of that!" Rarity shook her head of wit and instead followed after the beating of her heart. "Dear. Did you just say you were leaving Twilight Sparkle while she was in heat?"

His expression became sour. "Yeah. And don't tell her that I told you guys that she was in—"

"No, no, no, you buffoon!"

“Hey! I'm a dragon, lady.”

"How about big idiot dragon dumb guy!"

Spike stepped back and spread out his arms with an expression bordering on anger. "What gives. Rares?! What the heck did I do!"

Rarity turned her head without breaking their eye contact and actually spat on the floor of her boutique. She stood up and started shooting toward him. "You told me Twilight was in heat!"

His head rolled and he groaned. “Oh here we go! The belated lesson on being a gentle dragon! What difference does telling you when you already figured it out before?! And why are you making a fuss about this now?"

Rarity knew to speak more was to continue the argument they weren't even happening. So instead. She closed her eyes, cooled off, felt the colder breeze from the door, and then had everything click. Her eyes still burned as they opened—but they did so, gently, now. "Dear? Could you be so kind as to tell me the temperature outside?"

Spike's face narrowed, but he didn't fight it, knowing that, no matter how unrelated, Rarity always followed through to a point. "Bit colder than usual."

"And, on your way here, what have you seen mares wearing?"

"Coats on their coats."

"Spike."

"Fine! Just coats! Why? New fashion trend? You just get hit by a sudden inspiration?"

Rarity closed her eyes and exhaled steam. Knew there was a reason why I hated him as much as I loved him. Both for valid reasons. Such an apt eye you have for males, Rares. "I didn't want to have to spell this out for you—but since you didn't come to realize this in the first place... it was unlikely you could make sense of even after being given all the clues."

Spike bore the insults for, if he was wrong about something grand, and made a fight here, it would reflect even more poorly on him later. Better to find out if you're in the wrong before one makes a stand.

"What is it?"

"Summer is over and fall is on it's way." Rarity cleared her throat and looked away, blushing, not liking to have to talk about the inner workings of a mare with a guy. "Heat? That went away for us weeks ago." She scoffed. "Honestly. How could you expect us to be hot and bothered, all throughout the day, if we're wearing a coat, to brave against the cold?"

Spike's back crashed into the door frame as the back of his head did the same. He breathed heavily and looked upward. "But... no that's... ah... oh..." His eyes closed and his head shook before the former reopened to look at her. "I-I mean, I knew that, but figured, y'know, cause she's a princess, maybe..."

His pitiful smell stung her nose and Rarity turned away. "I swear that insecurities and lack of self-esteem are the greatest trouble maker in all the world." She exhaled the steam of her aggression away and snapped a glare to behind. "Tell me. Did you dare to ask her the reasoning why this was still going on?"

Spike shook his head but didn't let it end there. "I dunno! Maybe she liked the feeling of having... someone do something!"

Rarity whipped back around and stormed at him with a jabbing hoof. "Oh yes! Because that is our Twilight Sparkle, is it? You are her lifelong best friend. Cast yourself aside and place someone else into the role of you—a fine way of removing internal troubles from proper thinking."

Spike swallowed but nodded.

"Twilight Sparkle, bookworm and princess, never been on a date until a fair few years into adulthood." Rarity cleared her voice as her head bounced upward. "With the help of her lifelong friend, she enjoys the bliss of sex. This is all done for the sake of relieving her heat and to avoid making a fool of herself in the public eye."

Spike nodded slowly.

"But now her heat has gone away, and despite rejecting a different love from her lifelong friend, continues to keep on sleeping with him." Rarity danced onto two legs and rose into the air—all to slam a hoof onto the dragon's lips. "Yes. I know. You didn't exactly sleep together. Pleased each other. Shared the same bed for most of those nights."

The dragon voice tickled and vibrated and muffled beneath her hoof. "Mhawhasfasdmaskm."

"Yes. I know. She sent you away after each session after your dear confession." Rarity rolled her eyes. "Dear. I don't mean to enter the world of cliches here, as what I say applies more so to personalities, but you know us mares aren't always clear, right?"

"Mmgawm?"

"If I said I was fine, though my mane was on fire, would you believe me to really be fine?"

"Amfmdfaw?"

"Ugh." Rarity's shoulders dropped as her forehooves did the same to the floor. "Clearly, I taught you nothing." She walked away once more, but stopped, exhaling the pain away. "Listen. This is Twilight we're speaking of. Before she was a princess, she was a lonely, studious little mare, wanting to impress Celestia and suffering a panic attack every day for it."

Spike rubbed at his lips and jaws as the mare went on.

"She couldn't express herself well, especiallywhen you two first arrived." She laughed. "All those little memories. Remember the incident with the tickets, in which, she struggled to tell any of us no? Throughout that, who was she able to communicate all of that with?"

Spike blinked and looked out of the corner of his eye. "Me?"

"Exactly! From silly breakdowns for Celestia to legitimate friendship worries, all of them, she could express to you." Rarity sighed and sat on the floor, and the dragon, seeing this, did the same—sitting cross-legged. "Even the matters of her lust she did not take to her friends. Yet she could confess them to you—and even ask for help."

Spike chuckled and looked at his lap. "And I didn't even have to offer."

"Shows how comfortable she was with you." Rarity smiled, and there was nothing else behind it. "You were the only male, maybe, the only being in all the world she could trust. No doubt I would have loved to be there for her. But I was still finding my wild ways after yours and I separation."

He sighed. "Then you have Applejack and the farm and Fluttershy and Discord and—"His eyes lit up.

But Rarity's hooves were already the same. "No fear for you. Worst kept secret in all the world. Everyone already knows everything about those two." She breathed. "Now back to Twilight. She gets close to you, far closer than she expected, and the two are close... in ways you'd never thought you be."

Spike nodded. "Right?"

"But then starts developing in a way you never expected and, if I may so myself, rather quickly." Rarity cleared her throat and laid a hoof on her chest. "You two found a love that was real, that was powerful, for it was unique and unable to be identified. A resounding feeling that could not be composed by words. Your connections, the way you knew the other had it, was in how you both felt it for each other."

Her hoof slid from her heart. "You both were aware of it. Could never say anything about it. Look into the eyes of each other and kiss each other softly. You could express it in all that it compelled you to do for the other. Most first romances are meant to fail, and one learns more from the next one."

She laughed and looked over her shoulder to the mirror behind. "But to find love on the first try, and with someone too important to lose—or maybe it's because they're too important that love is there in the first place. In any case. Twilight is not a mare that takes kindly to being weak. Her current occupation enforces that to a degree."

Spike sighed and shook his head. "You're sending me for a loop here, Rares."

Her eyes rolled. "Boys." She went on. "You were able to recognize what you felt for her and were willing to allow yourself to be made weak in expressing it. Twilight, on the other hoof, is carrying too much baggage as to allow herself to be genuine and clear."

Spike clapped his claws in his lap, much like a kid, and listened on.

"First you two get intimate, then you two find love, and then, you confess it." Rarity stole a long breath to steady herself. She exhaled as though her soul went with it. "She wasn't sure what to do and, this time, didn't have her best friend to express it to."

"But I would have listened!"

Rarity giggled, and soon, that turned to laughter. "Ohoho! My dear Spikey-Wikey! As self-searching and noble as ever! But that is not the way how matters work! Twilight would still be the mare figuring out if she loved or didn't love the creatures those problems belonged to. She would feel terrible even at your full acceptance—anyone would."

Spike slouched and looked through to an abyss beneath the floor. "I guess you're right. Didn't... really think of it from her angle."

"It's because you're willing to take any pain that you don't consider how it must feel to those who cast it." Rarity shrugged and rolled her head around. "Could be she's been waiting for you to get mad. Or to simply stop. Maybe go away for good?"

He picked his gaze up. "Hey! It's not any of that! Just... exactly that! I don't know what she wants me to do and the changing cues are... well, they're ripping me apart, Rares."

Rarity stared up and into his emerald eyes. "Twilight is torn between being weak and being strong, being able to surrender to you or keeping herself distant. There is no heat. She is not the kind of mare doing this for pleasure well after the fact."

She then glared. "Do you believe that, Spike? Or do you think that Twilight would keep you around, knowing your feelings for her, only to selfishly pleasure her because of how good it feels? Cast yourself aside for the moment and think about it objectively."

He didn't need to think. "F-Fine. She... wouldn't keep someone around, on those conditions, for that." And when he did start to think. "She'd keep them around because... because they weren't sure what they wanted to do. Want it or not want it. But it would mean... mean that she... felt something more... or wasn't sure she was feeling something more... or...."

He was so lost in his trance that something tapped on his cheek. His eyes opened to the present and to a muzzle bathed in the white of winter. Lips fell onto his cheek. A warm kiss, a different kind of love, one meant to soothe him.

Rarity pulled back. "Lose yourself in that endless, winding train of thought, and you'll be stuck like she is." She leaned over and kissed his other blushing cheek. "Twilight feels something for you. But she isn't sure what to do. And doesn't have her best friend there to help her."

The weight of the world crashed onto the dragon's shoulders as his ribs cracked and his chest collapsed. He leaned forward and could not endure the pressure on his back. His heart shattered. Face dried. Eyes losing their spark.

"...and she won't for a while."

Rarity dashed back a step in shock but, looking to the dragon, saw him smiling.

"It's all true. Everything you said. Don't think you've gotten a single detail wrong." Spike still smiled and stood, which required a claw to push against the ground, another on the wall to help him up. Cracking bones could be heard. "But I can't live like that. I can't be the only one putting in all the work."

“S-She's trying, Spike!”

"I... I know she is." He was about to shout but... knew anger led to nowhere. "It's tough not knowing what she wants to do. How we go from close to not close. Sharing a bed in awkwardness to being unable to speak in the morning. Having that feeling be there but it... being so confusing."

His head shook and his claw clenched at his side. "And I just can't do it. I can't wait it out. You talk about her not having her best friend—but what about me? Where's my best friend?"

"You're able to talk to us! Don't have the weight of a nation waiting on you!"

"So that means I deserve less than her?"

Rarity's mouth opened but, for the first time, her lips closed. She looked down and, ashamed, even looked away. The dragon had never spoken up about himself. About what he deserved or wanted. Always so receptive to the others without much of a suggestion as to what he desired.

"I care about her more than I care about myself," Spike began as he turned to the door. "That goes with most ponies. But even I have a limit. Not out of anger. Nothing like that." He breathed the cool air of the outside. "But I can only handle being weak for so long before I collapse. And I'm at that point now."

He didn't leave right away. Knowing it wouldn't be right. Waiting and waiting.

"Y-You're... right, darling." Rarity sighed behind him. "In truth, you were a little too good for your own good. Please take good care of yourself but, at the same time, don't disregard anything I said." There were hoofsteps, and in the next second, forelegs wrapping around his waist. "I love you, my Spikey-Wiley."

His claw lowered and fell over her hoof, able to hold it, squeeze it, naturally, and all without a breakdown. It still warmed him on the inside. Evoked that scary feeling within him. But now that it was tamed, it felt good, pleasant, a different source of energy.

"Love you too, Rarity."

"Make me a promise?"

"Sure."

"Promise not to have too much fun without us."

"Shouldn't make me promise to do that which is impossible—that's a waste of a wish."

"Love you, Spike."

"Love you again, Rarity."

Author's Note

Maaaaaan I suck at updating content on time. Were this a little while ago—I would be ahead on my routine. But a few setbacks from life—and addiction to VR—have caused me to falter in things I really shouldn't have.

We're nearing the final stretch of the story, though.

Hope you dear readers have been enjoying it. Please feel free to comment and all of that. And... yeah.

Later gang.

~ Yr. Pal, B ~

VI | To See Him Leave
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Heated Into Weakness

VI | To See Him Leave

~ VI ~

To See Him Leave

Twilight wore a smile as did the rest of her friends at the entrance of the castle, wearing a party hat that fastened her mane faintly over her face, her lips, below, blowing a party horn. The rest of the girls joined in as, above, a soft explosion crackled—and confetti rained from above.

The dragon had walked into the dark room to be assaulted by light and sound and laughs and love. Coming to stop in surprise as the bottom of his jacket floated to a stop. He was quick to wear a smile, with a head fallen to the side, eyes closed, a claw scratching the back of his head.

"You girls."

Rarity was the first to walk to him and flick him with her tail. "Girls, Spike, and don't you dare make a joke about a lack of distinction."

Applejack chuckled as she was the next to walk behind the dragon, slowly and around, like a shark around a prey. Her glance bounced to Rarity. "Y'know, you're kinda turnin' into him, Rares. Realizin' his jokes before he makes 'em. You could almost crack them for him."

There was a flap of wings, and Rainbow hovered over the dragon's shoulder, looking down at the two. "You kiddin'? Rarity's the kind of girl to turn to stone if she ever cracked a crude joke." She brushed the texture of his jacket. "Cool jacket." She looked at him. "This proof you're trying to get laid? My cloud's just outside."

Twilight blushed and stumbled in place. "R-Rainbow! That's—"

"Don't ask for what you might not be able to take," the dragon replied with a smirk that revealed a glinting fang. "You do know you're smaller than Rarity, right?"

Rainbow could not have looked happier at that instant as she snuggled the side of her face into his. "Spike! Spike, my boy! Finally! Finally, you grew up!" She peeled away and crossed her forehooves. "Able to flirt and crack a joke and—laugh! Why are you leaving now of all times?"

Spike chuckled and reached a claw for her hoof, brushing his thumb over her fur, as she smiled in taking it away. "I'll be back soon enough. Just need to catch up on the life that I'd been missing out there."

Rainbow's body heaved before slumping. "And there's the return of the dork."

He flicked her forehead. "Hunk of a dork."

Rainbow crossed her forehooves and turned away in the air. "Hey! Only I can do that to squirts, squirt." She peeked over her shoulder and looked him up and down. "And don't be calling yourself anything yet. Hunk is too big of a word for you yet."

"Give me a few years out there, and we'll change that around."

There was a crack in the air and a hammer on the heart on the jest that showed how long the dragon planned to be away for. The friends looked to each other for a second, a quick glance that he could not catch—before the smiles went back up.

Rainbow, however, flew back to his neck, which her forelegs swung around, and she hugged him. Draped along his neck with her muzzle buried beneath his frill. "You can come back weaker so long as you come back sooner, champ."

His claw squeezed her hoof. "Promise I'll be back before your first wrinkle."

"Spike. C'mon. Please."

He exhaled.

"Promise I'll come home as soon as I'm ready—and visit plenty before that."

Rainbow kissed him. "Thanks, big guy."

None of the friends mocked the girl for this, as, for her to expose and express herself like this—meant and was a lot to her. Being able to make herself weak before a crowd with the trust that they wouldn't rip on her for this. Rather the rest of the friends pooled up, each to his limb, coming in for the group hug.

He chuckled and wrapped his arms around the girls, inhaling deeply, the feeling of all the warm, pressed bodies, their fluff and how they rubbed against him. Their love. Their friendship. This place had been his home, and that truth came easily from his lips.

Twilight had found herself against his stomach, laying her cheek against it, looking up, to see his head hovering above. Looking down with those glowing eyes of his. Green, and softly burning. A smile followed on his lips.

And one did the same on her own. She snuggled into him, easily, and his claw laid on her neck, holding her tightly, for this one last act of love.

Then it was over as the friends back away.

The party was a bunch of little games with a cake and a bowl for drinks and mostly heartfelt conversations. Footstep results with confetti stuck to hooves and feet alike and were ignored as laughter from 'Pin the Tail' distracted one from stuff like that.

But soon, the day was coming to an end and, all throughout the party, Twilight could feel the glances as her friends. She was able to look at them easily, smile and nod, proof that she'd already accepted the ending to this challenging chapter.

And then it was time for the dragon to go.

Spike kneeled before the door as the six friends gathered before him in a curve. Pinkie was the first to walk up with a large bag.

"You told us you were thinking of walking it that super-duper long way," Pinkie said as she lowered the bag before him, "so I figured I'd pack you some drink and snacks, healthy and not-so-healthy, to better enjoy the trip!"

Spike chuckled and lifted the bag with a nod, twisting and placing it inside the one on his back before turning back. He laid his palm on her head and ruffled her mane, with the mare giggling the whole way through. "Thanks, Pinkie. I'll party hard when I think of you."

She snickered and bounced back. "Don't forget to laugh harder!"

Fluttershy was next and silently so. She walked right into him, with a head turned away, only a pink waterfall of mane visible of the little pony. Next, she was on him, on two hooves, the other two, hugging him, as she kissed his cheek.

Spike gasped but not for long. Blowing out any air of strength he had in allowing himself to be weak. His arms weakly rose, barely able to wrap around her. Then he hugged her. Tightly. Enough to give him warmth, a feeling of love, to get him through that door.

She pulled away without words, only another kiss on his cheek, before stepping back to the rest of the crowd—still hidden beneath her mane. Unable to look at him. To reveal herself. But he smiled at this. Understanding immensely.

Rainbow had already walked around him, falling into his side, snuggling against him, with a foreleg brushing over his wings. "Don't you go forgetting all the hard work I put into teaching you. You're bigger but lithe. Your setting dictates how you use these."

Spike chuckled and hooked an arm around her neck. "A maneuver for every situation."

"Jackpot." Rainbow then slipped out from his hold, backing away with a blush. "Later, big guy."

He tapped a claw to his forehead and gestured it outward. Already someone was pressing into his waist. Rarity, with her muzzle beneath his coat, placing something into his pocket. She then hugged him. "A watch and a photo of us. Let too much time pass and that photo begins to be less accurate. Understand me?"

"How can that be?" Spike replied in fishing in for the pocket watch, a round thing of gold, his thumb sinking into a button. The watch opened to reveal a clock and, to the side, a photo of the girls, recently posed, all blowing him kisses with their hooves. He smirked. "When you're set to be beautiful until the end of time?"

Rarity pranced onto two legs and rose to kiss his chin. "I love the way you lie; it's so reassuring."

Twilight twitched.

Rarity pulled away a mere step. "I know it wasn't for long, dear... but I did enjoy our romance together."

Spike nodded. "Taught me a lot."

"And taught me far more."

Applejack came next with a hesitant step and even heavier breath. Looking to the ceiling but not to suppress tears. Rather her hoof lifted to her head, and she took off her hat, pressing it to her chest.

Spike coughed. "C'mon Aj. I'm not dying here."

Applejack weakly smirked. "I know. You'll give the world a good hiney whooping on my account. I taught you how to kick straight, right?"

He weakly smiled back. "And when such a kick deserves the delivery."

Her smile strengthened. "Then I did raise you right."

Applejack stole forward and, while doing so, motioned her hoof downward. Her muzzle made to whisper in his head, and so, the dragon lowered his head—in time for her hat to be slapped onto his head. His spines sunk underneath it as it barely touched his forehead.

He blinked as she whispered something into his eyes. Then he shook and reeled back to look at her. She was laughing and nodding and then launching herself at him. The tightest hug that usually only went to family. Not even the strength of a dragon could return it.

The mare was splayed against him. Hind legs around his waist and forelegs over his shoulders. He held her tightly, too, and stroked her back with a claw. Applejack chuckled into speech. "You take real good care of that hat now, ya hear? Wouldn't trust that even to Rainbow."

"Hey!"

“Promise nothing will touch it.”

"Good! Because there's nowhere in them badlands that are safe when I'm huntin' you down." Applejack peeled herself away, and the dragon lurched after her, already missing the contact of another. "You give that hat back to me the next time we see each other. Don't matter how long that is. You feel me?"

He blushed. "Feel you."

She grinned and turned away.

It was all so scary to be here for real. Down on his knee as the castle was dark save for the lights pouring from the windows behind. Knowing his friends sat on the edge of darkness, that he would be leaving them there.

They all would be alright, of course, and he was glad his departure had some effect. There was always the fear that, in ceasing to be as close or around someone for a while that, suddenly, the past did not matter.

What two had gone through, and what they had felt for each other, would no longer matter if enough time had gone by. Yet the hugs and the love. The gifts and the nip of pain in the air. The girls wouldn't be destroyed by his leaving. But it would make the next few days harder.

And even though he didn't wish to cause any of the strife.

It caused him a little joy to know he meant something to them.

His digits tapped on his hat and followed its rim, its shadow falling over his face until his claw fell to his jacket. He looked around the walls, the decorations, the photos of their years together. It cracked his heart in a good way.

And then someone significant came before him.

Spike looked down in emotional confusion as Twilight stepped toward him, who looked at the ground as her tail swished behind. She looked like a guilty pony, in trouble for stealing a cookie. It was a bit comical. But he suppressed the laugh.

Twilight then raised her muzzle to reveal her face, the soft sorrow bathed across it, the eyes glinting in violet. Her smile reached out but then fell back. Shoulder rising only to drop. Proof that she was giving all of this her best effort.

Spike opened his arms.

And she fell into them.

The girls watched around the couple as the mare stood on two legs, with herself pressed against him, her head resting on his shoulder, her hooves tracing across his back. The dragon was the same, nuzzled into the other side of her face, stroking her mane.

What kind of departure was this? The leaving of a friend? A lifelong friend? The separation of lovers? A tragedy in a mistake overcoming a friendship? Or was it a relationship now? None of those words and none of the questions ever panged truth in their hearts.

For it was not any of those.

This was that Spike was leaving.

And that Twilight wouldn't be seen for a long time.

Nothing could encompass them better than their names. Spike hugged tighter a little bit tighter, and she did the same in return, the last breach of love before months of nothing. Softness brushing against him. Smoothness stroking down her back. His claws gripped her, and her forelegs nearly choked him.

They weren't best friends or lovers.

They were Spike and Twilight.

Twilight was the first to wiggle beneath his grasp, and Spike lightened it, allowing the mare to lean away. She was smiling, raising a hoof to his cheek, stroking it. Going so far back as to brush his ear fin as well.

They looked into each other's eyes, with only an inch to spare, their breaths, caught by the other, their warmth, felt by each other. Keeping close. Feeling warm. The pleasantness of intimacy greatened by their love—for intimacy was an expression of that love.

Spike swept the mane out from her eyes to see them better, which caused the mare to blush, glancing downward, but flicking back up to him. And he could see it, then. Without words. No insecurity to get in the way. He could see that all his fears and woes were no more.

There was no routine. No wit or wordplay. Not a game to be played or a character to be acted. Spike could see the mare's being, what she underneath it all, the girl deep inside. How she looked to him. What was infused in this connection.

Twilight saw it as well in her baby assistant, who had grown into a dashing drake. Young and strong and tall and kind. Bigger and better without losing that childish delight. Scales so strong, and yet, eyes so soft. To be a beast without being a beast at all.

He was grown now. Set on a life of his own. With a hat and a jacket and the skill and will to traverse dangerous lands well on his own. Both able to battle hazardous creatures and able comfort those in need of help. So much that he could have been—were he not stuck here.

Yet she saw his love. How his eyes glinted with touches of moisture at the corner of his eyes. Spike looked at her like none else had done in her life. Softly. Tenderly. Infusing his being into his gaze as its inspiration was born from what he saw in her.

The way he loved her.

To overcome it all. Insecurity and doubts. Fears and shames.

Even before their closeness.

He would have done it all.

He loved her deeply. Back when they were more affectionate. Before they got slotted into their official roles in life. What they had to be. Needed to be. What was accepted. Before fears of weakness and the desire to be strong. The two were able to melt into each other's arms.

Twilight closed her eyes at that moment and, while the dragon's claw slipped from her waist, she leaned in, toward his face, onto his lips. She kissed them. Even though they were still. Despite not returning her love. She kissed them, slowly, passionately, as though it would be the last time.

That claw returned, only this time, to the back of her head, helping it, holding it, as the two kissed. It wasn't a playful battle. Not one of their games in the bed. It was a real, genuine kiss, an expression and transfer—an acknowledgement of the depth of the other's feelings.

And how it all matched in the end.

The kiss was done in a few seconds, and none could label it. Friends normally didn't kiss like that. Separated lovers knew to take that risk. Yet they were none of those. Instead, they were Spike and Twilight. And all that had happened.

Felt right.

Twilight backed out from his hold and stumbled with the rest of her friend, smiling up at the dragon, able to stand taller, wider, and happier. As though releasing a great weight, guilt and pain, in not revealing what she was beneath the surface.

But now, both of them had to return to the states of their world.

Spike chuckled as he rose onto his feet, with a last look at the girls, before giving them a salute. He turned to the door and opened it. Stopping at the door frame, he sighed, then struck him straight and gave them a final wave.

Then he was out the door, and then it closed, and none watched him through the window. Moments passed like ice being crunched—every ticking of the clock hurting their hearts. Once enough time had passed, however, the girls collectively breathed, gasped, and then collapsed.

All of them fumbled to the floor.

"Oohoohooo..." Rainbow groaned from the floor. "Anyone feel like their stomach's about to explode?"

Applejack had her back slumped against a wall. "More so my chest on this one."

Pinkie blew and wobbled her lips. "All feeling in my legs is gone!"

"My head is worse than after a few bottles of wine," Rarity chimed.

And Fluttershy whimpered.

Twilight Sparkle was the only one left standing as she looked around the entrance of her castle. It all seemed to be bathed in a different light. Dimmer, the air, changed, less tension—less anything.

There wasn't anything here now. Her friends were. They radiated a slight essence into the room. A faint one, for she knew they would be gone soon. Soon everything would be calmer, emptier, and easier.

Isn't that what she wanted? An environment that would always be the same? That she wouldn't have to worry being weak or strong in—for none would see? It was her safe place. Where she could get away from everyone and everything. Where she could become what she needed to be in the same conditions.

No pesky changes to worry about.

The perfect environment for a princess... with close friends... but not too close as to get in the way.

Twilight stood up on two legs and, leaning back, did not care about how she crashed on her wings. Everyone heard and looked over at her. She was staring at the ceiling, smiling, her lips opening to reveal laughter.

She started laughing. Slowly and softly. Building into loudness with cracks forming throughout. And then she was aware of the whimpering between the laughs. The tears caused her laughing to wheeze. How her forelegs paddled in the air and her body rolled, and her tail flicked around.

And then she recalled the friends that formed around her, hugging the crying, laughing mare, who had just lost her Spike.

The grass was cold beneath his foot, and the dying, golden sunset bathed the silhouette in the town for the last time. The dragon climbed the hill in a hunch, exhaling steam in reaching the top, turning around, slowly, to look at home.

His claw pulled down the hat to block the rays of light as he stared on. Another crack beneath the scales would cause him to get stronger. No matter how much it hurt, regardless of how weak it made him feel. Going through all of this would make him stronger in the end.

And one often had to do the right thing to then feel the right thing.

Spike waved to the town like an adventuring kid, even though none would see it, though his future self would remember this fond goodbye. It helped his heart to wave it off and made it much easier to turn around.

Before he loomed the forest he was never allowed to enter alone, a place where, so many years ago, all the girls were terrified to enter. Things had so much weight back then. Places too scary to go inside or too far for him to be allowed.

Yet the dragon stepped into the forest with ease, and wandered inside of it for long, with no set path, only the impression his wandering heart led him to. Towering grass tickled his knees, and rotting wood crunched beneath his unseeing foot. Dark green vines hung above and drooped very low.

His claw was able to slice through them as he went along, sometimes sliding over hunks of dying trees. There was the ruffling of grass behind him. Glowing eyes that floated in the darkness between the black trees. Many of them, watching him until the dragon snarled.

His lip rose to reveal his fangs as spurts of emerald fire washed out from his mouth. Smoke wafted upward, growing in size, as the dragon stood tall. His eyes burned, and their glow wavered in intensity.

Suddenly. Around him. The floating eyes stopped appearing and, in the coming seconds, soon disappeared into the darkness. Once the last one was gone, the dragon breathed, chuckling, taking off his scary face.

"No girls to save me," Spike muttered to himself while placing his claws on his waist, "no needing Twilight to direct me." He shook his head. "Finally, my own dragon. Independent! Maybe... maybe I'm cut out for this after all."

Living life out in the wild, finding a way to survive, seeing new places, meeting different kinds of creatures. It was a life he dreamed of as a kid. To become strong enough to see the world. Spike never expected it to happen. And it nearly didn't feel real even now.

But his adventures had him camping in the forest, where he set camp and a fire, sitting on a log of wood with claws pressed to the flames. The green glow laid over the surroundings. He sighed and looked around—none to talk to.

He then looked up to see a clearing in the dense foliage. The sky loomed above. Vast and bright with stars so close that his claw reached for one. Excitement broke inside to share this with someone. That someone else could see how beautiful the sky looked, how the fire felt, and all the minor developments of late.

"We all used to do this," the dragon rattled only to himself while still looking up, "the girls and me. Just come out one night and look at the sky. It's crazy to think that, even on all the nights we're all so busy, that the sky still looks like this."

Then he chuckled as his shoulders dropped. "Even before that. Canterlot Gardens. Twilight and I used to come out every night, after cleaning and studying, to enjoy the cool air—and look at the stars. She used to tell me what they meant, and I used to tell her how that cloud kinda looked like Celestia with a moustache."

He chuckled, and his head fell to the side. His glance around the empty campfire depleted him. "I wonder. Will I spend the rest of this trip myself? Or will others want to join me for the trip? I could protect them... help them to where they're going... maybe even... make some friends of my own?"

His head shook even though he was smiling.

He was set on going his own path.

But a part of it did not feel right.

He spent the rest of the night looking at the sky, focused only on that, all his problems, him as a dragon, all of it, fading as he watched the stars. Able to become one with them as he lost his mortal self at that moment. One becomes alive when they looked to the sky.

Spike was glad to forget himself, as he would be, as his travels took him well beyond the forest.

It had been a day or days, the passing of time, no longer important, for the princess it once mattered the most to. Before she opened the doors of the castle to the darkness of the interior. The moonlight behind shone in, as did the chill that nipped at her coat.

She didn't bother with a jacket, nor did she flick on a light on coming inside. The doors slammed behind, and her horn glowed enough to see the way—no sense in turning on lights for a couple of seconds. Being optimal was what counted.

Strolling through the hallway had her rubbing a hoof into her shoulder with a rolling of her heat. There'd been a knot in the muscles that pricked at her throughout the walk. She chose not to deal with it now. Instead going to her bedroom, the door, opening and closing, the clopping of her feet on crystal, the only living sounds, and they too ceased once she leapt into bed.

The squeak of springs died to the sinking of the mattress.

Twilight laid on her bed with another sigh and found them contagious. She didn't bother wiggling beneath the covers. Rather she curled into herself. Stroking her raised tail which she hugged to her torso. Waiting.

And waiting.

Waiting for something.

It was foolish to wait for anything now. There would be no surprise visit from a friend. The dragon would not suddenly be returning home, having forgotten something, much less changing his mind. She didn't pretend not to miss him. Or that she was better off without him.

Those thoughts and feelings flared for a second—and for a second only.

But Twilight was waiting for something. What was it? There were no events that came to mind. No future parties or plans as a princess. On her desk was a stack of papers that, for the first time, were left undone and overdue.

But Princess Celestia had not written to her about it.

Twilight's shoulders dropped as the frozen breeze rolled in from the open window. Chilling across her furs and stinging at the skin beneath. All that awaited her tomorrow were studies and magical practice. Day after that was a meeting with some guards to set her taking over the throne easier in their minds.

Work.

Twilight buried her face into her chest and kicked her knees as close to her belly as could be. Knowing that yesterday would be the same as tomorrow without hope of variation. Princess Celestia ruled that way. Leaving little room for surprises due to her strength and routine. It allowed her to govern better.

Wasn't that what you were wanting? What that whole thing with Spike was for? To get over that pesky problem and get back on the program you were meant to be on? Wasn't this all that you wanted all throughout your life? To be left alone to study, to work, to become what Celestia wanted to be?

Then an even smaller voice, one of a filly, answered her.

But I was always left alone with Spike—which isn't alone at all.

Twilight laid her head onto the pillow as her mane spilled across it. She snuggled into it, twisting and lazily kicking on the bed, coming to slip her forehooves beneath the pillow. Hugging it for its faint softness and warmth. It, nothing, to abyss within that was needing to be filled.

Do I want to be with him? Of course, I do.

She snuggled the pillow harder to her chest, laying her chin on the top of it, and looking out, across the room, through the window, to the moon forever away.

Do you want to be with him like that?

Her heart clenched the answer.

I want to be with him in every way possible.

Her stomach did a twirl.

Friend? Lover?

Her cheek smushed and rubbed against the pillow.

None of that. He's my Spike.

Her heart leapt at her possession of another to an intensity of a blush and the heating throughout her body. The room was cold, and the breezes becoming stronger. Closing the window, getting beneath the covers, casting a warming spell.

All of them would be quick and easy.

And yet.

Something within stopped her from doing anything.

I don't own him. He's not mine to have. He's Spike. My Spike.

She choked, and her body warmed against the cold.

It's not right at all to want him after all of that. I just remember being so afraid... when he wanted to be closer. L-Love. That's what this is, i-isn't it? A mare like me actually in love? That's not... no. T-That doesn't happen to girls like me. That's meant for other ponies. Ponies like Rarity and...

But Rarity had found love to be boring and lust to be more interesting.

But not me. I'm... I'm the girl with her nose in a book. Only keeps with her friends and never does much deeper than that. Maybe like. Want a kiss. T-That night where I... it... that stallion was an e-experiment!

Steam exhaled through her lips, from warmth touching cold, what was inside facing the outside.

M-Maybe I could find love after a while. O-Once I'm used to this w-whole p-p-princess thing. I'd find someone that was right. T-Then I would go through all the feelings... everything would be... be as it should be? I'm the kind of mare that finds love later on. Or not at all. What this is, is...

What was it then? The chance of intimacy with Spike? A one-time event to help her through a problem and have it be a separate incident? Were it just that, she would feel nothing more than that, and yet, her heart, it pounding on the interior of her chest.

In some ideal, fantasy world, I find the perfect prince and e-experience p-proper love. Some faceless, dashing stallion, and all the cliches my mind could muster.

Her shoulders slumped into each other.

The image of Spike popped into her head. Tall and goofy and wearing a tuxedo. Going to offer her a claw only to trip and fall bang his nose into the stone beneath them. Her laughing in a white dress from above. Him grumbling. And then her offering a hoof to help him up.

That idea warmed up her, an imperfection, which was perfection itself, so clear, and evoking hurricane inside. Tears stung at the corner of her eyes as marriage never touched the girl's mind. Yet Twilight saw herself with Spike without having to try.

And the images of the life that would follow, not so much from the life that they had so long ago. Back when yesterday being the same as tomorrow could not have made her happier—for it met another day with her assistant.

With her Spike.

I love him.

Twilight cried silently to herself. Feeling her throat, croak, and chest wound awfully sore. She wheezed her breath and fought to keep herself in check. Like a greedy little filly that cared only for herself. Punished for acting out of line.

Bhut I... I was s-s-scared. A-Actually becoming that close. It was scary. G-Going that next level—I'd never been there before! H-How else was I supposed to react! When he said it, he meant it. He meant it. Oh, Celestia. He meant it, and it meant it was for real, and it meant that we would have to be together, and it meant—

She was breathing in quick spurts and, in catching herself, drank a gulp of air, swallowing, slowly, to calm herself. There'd been the expectation to a claw to be running down her back to help her through this—but it wasn't there. It would have been, though, and so much else had she not said 'no.'

Guilt crept its return.

H-He was willing to brave... his fear of lust... to make you happy... and yet... yet... you could not brave... loving the dragon you love... out of fear... of all the things you wanted...

The idea of loving someone, deeply and truly, for the rest of her life—that vague notion terrifiedher. Once she gave it some thought, though, to wake up in a bed with a dragon stroking her mane, to sharing a shower and having some fun... to breakfast and conversation to a day at work... only to come home... with the lights on... room warm...

Twilight winced and wiggled through the pain. Seeing how those rough days, she could come home, lay in his lap, be brushed, and drone about all that had been nipping at her. Twilight carried herself tall and strong and stoically dealt with her pains that, while it caused her to be stronger, also made her weaker in another way.

She could become a princess that dealt with all pains in the light but succumb to them in the shadows. That didn't need to rely on anyone else but herself to get through all the troubles of duty and life. But having that dragon. Of being able to come home, cry and whine, to be consoled, loved, and given the affection, the needed words to go on.

Princess Celestia never needed someone to return to after a long day of being a princess. Didn't need to curl into someone's lap and be loved to fight the next day. She's stronger than that. And I have to be even STRONGER than THAT. So how... why...

Twilight was in a whirl and a mess, and her hooves were reaching beyond the mattress. Her hooves clattered onto the ground as she stood, shaking herself still and wiping the tears from her eyes.

I'd also want to be there for him. To make him feel good in whatever way I could. Knowing I had that direct effect on someone. He's so easy to please in every way possible. Even when I sucked... his face, so red, so panting, s-so cute. I-I loved making him look that way. I love...

She pressed a hoof to her head and exhaled the exhaustion away. Her scattered mind tore her to a thousand places of a million feelings in the span of a couple of seconds. There was no getting over it. No proper answer. Just conflict wherever she looked.

And they would only be resolved with a choice.

Twilight's horn shone, and in the second next, a flash consumed her.

The softly violet room was cast in low, warm lighting from the candle perched on the drafting desk. Princess Celestia sat before it, wearing glasses that none were allowed to see her wear, while she bit on a quill.

Magic would have allowed her to easily write. At least using her wings, while not perfect, would have been better. But the alicorn wanted to get in touch with her earth pony roots and decided this to be the night to try something new.

"I'm sorry, ma'am, but the princess is currently occupied and asked to not be disturbed."

"I understand that." The voice was quiet and soft to the point of a strained whine that came from a cry. "But please. Do you think I could talk to her? It's important."

"Important enough as to be deemed an emergency, ma'am?"

Celestia dropped the side of her muzzle to the desk, letting the quill drop from her teeth, before turning, rousing, and walking toward the door. The other voice barely spoke above a whisper. "I-I... suppose not. Could you schedule me for an appointment at the—"

Celestia's hooves pushed the doors open as she leaned out from them, looking out into the hall, where two guards were posted on either side of the sprawling rub. Before them was the shy, lavender student, that she hadn't seen in years.

Always buried beneath that princess trying to be strong.

"Anything that would cause a pony to seek a friend after midnight is, indeed, an emergency, gentle colts." The two guards spun, to the clunk of their golden armour, before saluting the princess. "Please be so kind as to allow my guest inside. Do feel free to enjoy a break and allow ourselves some privacy."

Twilight stood behind the guards and was sunk into herself. However, at hearing her voice, the filly beamed, walking forward, still nervous, but happily so. She stepped next to Celestia, brushing into her legs, and Celestia nuzzled the top of her head.

Twilight then disappeared into her room with Celestia about to turn around. However, the guards were still looking at her. It didn't take long for the princess to glare at them while touching a hoof to her glasses. "No word about these to anyone. Ever. Do you two understand me?"

They nodded, slowly, and stepped away, still slowly, walking backward, through the hall, as though waiting for a blast from her horn. They turned a far corner like this. Princess Celestia grinned before a heavy sigh escaped her. Then she returned to the room and closed the doors behind her.

Twilight was already lying at the center of the room, curled into herself, something she hadn't done even before moving to Ponyville. Celestia smiled, and Twilight frowned. The latter went to get up but, before she could, Celestia was lying down around her—pulling the smaller mare beneath a wing.

The filly giggled and allowed the wing to hug her, barely poking through it, her side snuggled into the larger mass of the princess. She wiggled into a bit. Rubbing her cheek into Celestia's fluff. The older mare laughed, stroking Twilight, the two, enjoying this strange, sudden trip to the past.

Moments passed. The two kept together without words. One brushing the other. Twilight laid her muzzle on the floor, looking at the ground, as the princess watched her from above. More time went by before the filly so much as sighed.

And then came the release of words.

"Do you know why I'm here, princess?"

Celestia smiled—the kind of smile that was painful to wear. "I do think I have some idea. Although I thought I would have received a trip from you earlier."

Twilight glanced up at her with pleading eyes. "How come you didn't write to me? Warn me?"

And now that smile was even more painful. "I was going to let you work out that problem on your own. It wouldn't have been your development if I influenced it." She nudged the little one's head. "Of course. The moment you choose to write to me—I would have helped in any capacity. But that needed to come from you, first."

Twilight looked down and, after a second, ultimately nodded. "I understand."

"But I guess that's the reason why you're here now? Although, with the change in seasons..."

Twilight shook her head and looked back up again. "It's not about that. It was... harder, this year. But Spike got me through it."

Celestia swallowed, and she recoiled. "Spike? In what regard?"

"...in all the regards you're properly thinking."

"Were you two?"

"Never like that." Twilight exhaled and looked away. "Only helped because I didn't have anyone else. Promised him it wouldn't lead to anything more or change anything like that at all."

Celestia closed an eye. "And I suppose that didn't remain the case for long?"

"It was the first time, both of us, had even gotten close to someone in our lives." Twilight bitterly smiled at the memory as she laid her chin on the top of her forehooves. "It's so strange to be able to talk about this so easily. But I think I've already burned all my anxiety on it."

Celestia lowered her muzzle to her student's mane, nuzzling it, infusing it with as much love as possible. "Tell me what happened, my dear Twilight."

Twilight groaned and huffed like a wounded, teenage filly, with a heart sore from being so slashed up. "W-We came to find out we loved each other. Not as friends or lovers. But I loved him and... and he loved me."

"A love beyond any known identity? That's very sweet, Twilight." Celestia's muzzle pulled away. "I'm very proud of you two."

Twilight set her muzzle away from her mentor. "Be more proud of him. We were both scared of that love. But while he was willing to be brave enough to try it..."

"You choked?"

"Celestiaaaa..."

Celestia smiled. "It's nearly been a decade since I've last heard that. You have a way of cutely droning other's names." She then sighed as that happiness left. "So you rejected him. Did you two end up fighting?"

Twilight shook her head. "Not at all. He kept around to help me with my season, and I... kept him longer even after that." She blushed but made no mention of it. "After a while, though, I-I guess... dunno. He felt stuck. Or something. And wanted to go out and explore the world and live with the dragons and maybe stay with them forever and then never come back to see me because I rejected or did something or—"

Twilight didn't know when the oxygen ran out, and the hyperventilation began, but she was breathing, in fact, huge chunks, while a wing brushed at her back. Slowly, matching her tempo, then slowing that, offering her a guide on how to breathe.

After a few moments, her breathing had returned, somewhat, to normal.

And a little after that.

Her heart rate returned too.

"S-Sorry."

"Please." Celestia didn't stop brushing her back. "As strange as it is to say... I've missed helping you through your panic attacks." She chuckled. "It seems like I started being the cause of them after a certain point." She grinned. "And that a certain dragon took my role in consoling you."

Twilight softly nodded at that.

Celestia sighed and looked forward. "But now you must know that I have to ask you why you're here, Twilight."

The poor mare wiggled into herself and, thus, more underneath the wing, trying to get away from her mentor and, inadvertently, getting closer to her. She was such a strange mare as though not suspecting even to be comforted like this.

Or maybe that she was beyond the age where she could be comforted like this.

Eventually, however, the filly peeked out from underneath the canopy of the wing. "I-It's just, um, t-there's been this question on my mind. Y'know, since the start of all this. How you managed to rule alone. You and Luna, never needing to, uh..."

Celestia's eyes closed with a heavy weight building on top of them. Numb hooves painfully tingled as breathing carried swampy air. She passed through the trouble with even more incredible difficulty. "That... is a question I've been waiting for you to ask, and dreading to answer it."

The princess raised her head as the end of her horn glinted in the colour of frost. Swirling and growing as a replica of the sphere appeared before them. Twirling with frozen winds that were contained within the shape. Their sounds were silent.

Twilight sat up to Celestia's wing, draping over her more. She peered forward at the magic. "What is that? I've never quite seen a spell like that before."

Celestia smiled despite not wanting to. "That is a spell crafted by Luna and myself and has not seen use beyond the two of us." She too looked into the magic that had stolen her of everything special. "Its use is targeted only to alicorns. Hence why thought it best it be kept to ourselves."

Twilight swallowed the spice of apprehension. "W-What does it do?"

And then Celestia told her the cold hard truth. "The world you found yourself born into, Twilight Sparkle, was not the same world Luna and I were thrust inside. Powerful chaos imbued the lands, and ponies were separated by discord."

Twilight listened on. She glanced back to the freezing sphere. The two mares looked into it.

"Once Luna and I had ascended and brought harmony to the lands," Celestia went on, "there was still the need to bring order to ponies. To provide leaders they could trust as civilization began. Our heat is our connection to our time before that. Us leaders needed to be strong."

Twilight was shaking her head into the inner-curve of her teacher's warm wing. It was smooth and sleek and enough to keep her nuzzling. "But you two... were strong! I've read the books! All the chaos you banished from the lands..."

The mare blushed in her realization of speaking like a filly.

Celestia giggled and stroked Twilight's head. "That's a reflection of might, and not true strength, dear." Her brushing stopped. "We needed might to defeat our foes. We needed might to show that we could hold order." She exhaled longingly. "We could not convert Discord as your friendship had. We did not live in a time where our ponies would have regarded us well for stumbles and fumbles."

Twilight shot downward and stroked her wrist with a hoof. The end of a wing settled on her cheek, wiping it, before lifting it back to Celestia's face. She saw something that Celestia had never shown her before. Something that the princess might have never shown before.

For the first time in her life.

Twilight saw Celestia being tired.

The frozen blue magic had lowered and twirled the princess's face, revealing the wrinkles, the faded eyes, the worn shoulders. The dried fur and the patchy skin. The mane was like straw as it clung to her back.

Celestia went to smile, the lips, slow and cracked, fighting to push away her cheek. Then she smiled. Smiled for a second. Before the exertion was too much and her lips were forced to return to normal. "We lived in a time, dear, where our mistakes would have meant the end to everything."

Then the magic carried back up her face, and the princess was returned to normal, flowing mane and glowing eyes, everything one expects to see from a being above beings. "You live in a time, Twilight, where ponies learn from your mistakes with you, and the world feels closer to its next princess for it."

Her smile was easier, and held longer, but how real was it?

"Do you understand what I'm saying?"

Twilight dipped her head. She didn't think. Deciding not to trust that thing anymore. Rather, she spoke, and let the words go. "That you had to appear as strong, no matter what, to protect the land. But now that the world is more harmonious... that I can risk being weak?"

Her ears flopped and her head shook. "Guh. I dunno anymore."

Celestia went back to petting her. "What I'm offering you, my dear Twilight, is a choice. Should you choose to step into that magic over there, it will deprive you of most warmth, to every aspect, until you choose to undo it."

Now it was time for Celestia to swallow regret. "It means you will not succumb to heat and expose yourself to be like everyone else. It means no pony in all the world could cause you to love them and risk national affairs. You will not fear anything, no matter how grave the effect. This spell allows your every weakness to be taken away—so only strength remains."

The old mare couldn't help but chuckle. "And taking this magic is weakness itself. True strength is allowing oneself to be weak. True power is being able to let power go." She slowly shook her head. "You have the ability to be stronger than us. To make mistakes. Fumble and stumble. To depend more on your subjects. To convert more foes than we defeated."

Celestia bent her head. "Cadance choose to walk the path of warmth, no matter how much it burned, regardless of how weak it rendered her, for she always had Shining at her side. He was already a fine guard at the time. But even she will be cast into the ultimate weakness... once his time has come."

Twilight winced and wiggled back and out from the wing, coming to stand away from the princess and the spell but, at the same time, feeling compelled toward them. Celestia knew that the teacher had to be quiet during the test.

"It would... be so much... e-easier..." Twilight muttered to herself in stealing a step toward the glowing ball. "No more anxiety. No more doubts. Just pure logic. Steady improvement. Fine ruling. No little warm spots threatening to ruin everything big. Everything important."

Celestia glanced at the ground.

Something need not be big to be important.

Twilight walked toward the sphere, not thinking, her steps controlled by pain. Unease and woe and everything at all she would want perished. To make life so much easier. Objective. Better for everyone.

Frost licked at her skin. Froze the tuft of her chest. Enough to cool her inner-heat. To freeze over that annoying, beating heart. Her hoof lifted toward the magic. Wanting to dip it in to see how it would feel. Yet she was still. Unable to move.

"Ya seem as distant as the farm is to the moon, sugarcube. Care for a sit and to look at the sky with me?"

N-No. Sorry. B-Busy with a spell and—

"Fine wine and verbally bashing tasteless guys is the essence of a lady's life! You've come, but you don't seem as involved anymore. Tell me, have you not been trying your luck? Or do these nights no longer interest you?"

Nothing like that! Just... tired of talking about that one stallion. And I don't live much of a life that gives me much to complain about over wine! I love you, Rares. And I should love this. But I...

"Can you help me with the animals this weekend, Twilight? Maybe we could share some tea and talk—"

No no. Sorry, Fluttershy. Busy. Busy with...

'You're going to be a really real princess soon, Twilight! How about—"

No parties. Too busy. Sorry. I would love to but—

"You should hang around your friends more, Twi. At least fly around with me. Let ponies see you out and about. Let them know you're still Twilight. They're not wanting the next Celestia, y'know. We already got that."

But they need someone as good as Celestia to protect them! What happens once you girls are gone? Or the time comes when I'm truly alone? I need to be strong, in all regards, to prepare for that! I need to be someone that can be weak and strong when they need to be! If I can't make it alone, I can't—

"I love you, Twilight."

Not now, Spike! I have more important things to...

Twilight hiccuped and stepped away from the portal, with a hoof pressed to her mouth, choking on tears already. She didn't try to hide them. Coughing and crying as her eyes did not close no matter how much they watered. Those voices of her friends. They weren't even from the future.

But the sayings of the past.

I was the one to leave them.. s-spending... all that time... to be ready without them... but not... spending the time they had... w-with... with them...

Twilight choked another sob as it was not the world that was horrible—but she who had made it so.

M-My strength? What is it? Where does it come from? The girls were the ones to make me stronger. Even when I'm the last in the fight—it's them that causes me to fight on. And how do I repay that when it counts most? How do I—"

Then she became more aware of the hoof on her lips.

Spike. Standing before the stove and making them dinner. Silly pink apron, him twisting, a toothy grin from over his shoulder. The two in bed. Him holding her. She snuggled against him. Brushing her mane. The jokes he could have made. The times he didn't. His wit came out when she was strong.

But his respect for her emerged when she was weak.

Twilight thought that was when she would be the most toyed with.

Yet it was then she was the most revered.

So much that chronicles of her life were lessons that most of the world knew and took wisdom from. The reason why they wanted her as a princess, not expecting a drastic transition from the mare they knew. All of that faded away, however, as the nation, her tiara, its importance, suddenly didn't matter.

"I love you, Twilight."

I...

"I love you, Twi."

I love...

"I love you."

I love you.

I love you, Spike.

I love you, Spikey.

Twilight broke out from her trance with a step back, not before looking at Celestia, who had been silent. There is a question needed to be asked or for help to be offered. But not before it was requested. "I love him. I love him, Celestia. But I never showed it as much as he did for me."

Celestia smiled. "It's easy to love being loved, Twilight, but much harder to love loving someone."

Twilight shook her head. "N-No. I love all that he does for me but... but... there was so much more I lost out on." She sighed and collapsed onto the floor. Curling into herself. Unable to cry as all her tears were gone. "To cling to his back as he walked. To toy with his earfin. To pepper his neck in kisses. But maybe... I'm more selfish than that."

Celestia's eyebrow rose, though her mouth did not.

"He loved me, every part of me, and that's... something I don't have to feel insecure about." Twilight's muzzle lifted from the carpet as, before her, the frozen sphere, shrunk. "That if I jumped into the shower and he saw me with my mane down that... it would blow him away. I like having that effect on him. Among... other things."

And now the princess was smirking. "How you've developed, dear."

Twilight actually found herself, even weakly, smirking back. "There were so many things I could do, with... me, being me, that would do so much for him." She rolled onto her side and then onto her back, a hoof set on her heart. "And he was the same way with me. Whenever he grinned. Or held me close. Or when I peeked when he had a shower and—"

Twilight giggled and kicked her legs like a little girl and couldn't stop the overwhelming blush that spread throughout her form. Celestia was giggling as well, forgoing comment, but happy to be in the warmth of someone else.

And then Twilight fell on her side. "But now he's gone. Gone for a while. And he might not even be the same dragon when he comes back." She sighed. "Or want anything to do with me. Even when I rejected him, he did everything he could for me. I gave him mixed signals. Wanted him to chase after me without giving him a clue to do so. I'm... a terrible mare. I—"

"You never got to experience what teenage romance is like," Celestia interrupted, "so you were forced to make your mistakes now. We think we're stronger than we were in looking to the past. No sense for regret when you can still reverse it."

Twilight's head shook. "He's gone, Celestia, and I'm the one who drove him away."

"What you did wasn't fair to the poor dragon," Celestia said as she looked at the shrinking spell. "Nobody can blame Spike when he stopped chasing after you." She glanced over her shoulder, and Twilight looked down her belly, both looking at the window, which was smacked on by cold winds. "But that doesn't mean you can't be the one to chase after him."

Twilight's eyes closed. "He wouldn't want that. I mean. He already has a place with Ember! Able to live with his own kind for a while! Finally, he won't be sucked out by me." Her head shook like a spoiled girl. "Able to focus on himself and what it's like to be a dragon. Seeing the world and how he interacts with it on the way there. I-I... I can't steal that from him! Just for him to focus on me again! That's selfish! T-True love.. would be letting him go..."

Celestia blew a long breath like a mother sitting next to her daughter on the same bed. Twilight was always like that to her. But she never got to experience helping her through drama-antics that came from romance. "True love, Twilight Sparkle, is allowing him to make the choice."

Twilight whimpered. "I kissed him before he left. On the lips."

"And so?"

"So he still left! He knew what that meant... even if I didn't say anything! And it's still not fair to him!" Twilight rolled and rocked in place and hating that she still felt like such a child. All this time and talks of being strong and powerful. All to be a filly again before her mentor. "All those plans. Already saying goodbye. To do all that—to come back so soon after? Or to deny him something if he... finds better freedom over there."

Celestia nodded as she stood. Walking over to the window, she opened it, letting the cold air in. The princess did not shiver—but that filly did. And the older one envied the younger one for that. She glanced back at her student once more. "Indeed, none of this is fair to him. You should have made this choice before he went away. Yet wisdom comes not in the midst of a mistake but in the realization afterward."

Twilight whimpered some more.

And Celestia, coming to her side, dropped, and hugged the younger mare. Twilight allowed herself to be picked up as she sunk into her teacher's chest. The warmth it still provided despite the coldness behind it. "None of this is fair to Spike. But you must ask him if he even cares about such things. You must give him that choice."

Celestia hugged her daughter close, stroking her mane, rubbing her back, and letting herself also break. "It's because you, Twilight that, once you take over, this spell can finally be removed from Luna and me. But please. Please don't sacrifice all that makes you, you, to take it over."

And then Celestia silently cried. "I shouldn't intervene. Shouldn't tell you what to do. Allow you to find the truth for yourself." Her head shook at that logic. "But chase after him, Twilight. Let him know it all. Your every desperation. Your every love and fear of him. Don't hide anything. Allow him to know it all so he may make a better choice."

Her forehooves tightened around the girl. "Throw yourself at him and spill your every secret. Let him know how much you loved him all along. Be willing to have your heartbroken. To let him leave for however long he wishes. To have that freedom, in rejection, to know he always has you as a friend."

Twilight returned the hug.

"Tell him you love him," Celestia said, "and see if he loves you back."

Author's Note

And we're nearing the end! It seems like our purple pal has finally fucked off and our favourite princess is... attempting to deal with that. It's weird to be writing about this story so long after I wrote it.

There's not much to talk about after the fact. The story isn't as fresh when you write about it a month after it's original composition. Maybe, writing these notes after I finish writing the chapter is worthwhile. I'll try that with the next story.

Anywho. This story should wrap up in a few more chapters.

Catch you then!
~ Yr. Pal, B

VII | I Love You
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Heated Into Weakness

VII | I Love You

~ VII ~

I Love You

Flying over the sky reminded Twilight of a night in the tundra, everything so cold, so frozen, but the view below so beautiful. The glinting of gems across the frozen land as the moon was supersized over the horizon.

The desperate mare touched down in the town, before a couple parked on a bench, who were startled by her entry. They saw a purple blur and messy mane that hid the eyes of the princess. Her muzzle weakly raised, and then, in a panic, asked them if they'd seen a dragon.

The stallion cocked his head and touched his chin while the mare closed an eye. She then spoke while pointing a hoof at the bridge over the view of the waterfall. The princess dashed in that direction, twisting to wave them well, her legs, catching and buckling, and she slammed into the ground.

Twilight didn't slide on the grass for long as particles of dirt splashed out beneath her frame. She kicked it back onto her hooves, stumbling and recovering, onto and over and across the bridge, racing out on the path that would take her out of town.

It's been after some running and cooling from the breeze that the mare had paused before the forest. Hunched and panting and looking at the ground. She blinked at indention beneath her hoof, which she lifted, to see the footprint there.

Her horn lowered and touched the print, its tip swirling in green, a flurry of emerald, luminescent bubbles, casting forward, tapping into the ground. Footsteps shone in beams as they trailed into the forest.

Twilight chased after them, kicking into the place that still brought her fear, without her friends to be there. Everything darkened and froze as the grass was drenched with icy liquid. Dense patches of towering trees left little spaces between to squeeze through.

But the panting mare was led by the green light. Of the steps ahead, suddenly glowing, as the ones behind waned. Going forward and deeper and becoming colder. Every exhale, a cloud of steam, with shivers not even the fluffiness of her coat could protect.

Her hooves were becoming numb from the wet grass. They stopped before the accumulation of footsteps before a makeshift camp and the remains of a fire. The steps glowed all around, in countless directions, showing the dragon had been lost.

Twilight's head dropped, and her eyes closed, curses leaving her lips. Crunching branches and rustling bushes forced her back to action. Around her, deep in the darkness of the woods, burning eyes floated, coming closer.

Seconds revealed the wooden monstrosities stepping into the light. The mare looked up at the approaching forces, shaking more from the cold than by them, waiting until the pack leader emerged. He did so behind, towering and large, vast in size.

Twilight glared him down and the leader paused. The burning in his eyes, dimmed, as he glanced around to the rest of the pack. They stopped. Then he looked at her, with a head lowering, waiting.

All the mare could do was turn her head, part the side of her lips, and reveal her teeth. Her hoof lifted to point at her fang. Then it dropped and she waited. The leader strolled forward, the ground, rocking, to the weight of his step.

Then its wooden paw raised to the foliage above them, and it pushed aside the branches and leaves, revealing the side, and the dried valley that loomed in view. The leader growled at it. And Twilight nodded her thanks.

Her wings were slow to come out, feathers frosted over a little, as she could feel herself freezing inside the glacier of the forest. No inner heat to stave off the cold. All this time, all these wishes to cool down—now to desire the reverse.

A change in extremes is not much of a change at all.

Twilight's wings flapped, and she lifted out of the meadows, out from the darkness, becoming bathed in moonlight. She floated above the forest, looking out to the Ghastly Gorge, the valley that marked entry.

But there would be no way she could see his prints from all the way up here.

"I'll always chase you, Twilight, whenever you need me to. Be it from a bar or because some villain sneaked a trick on you. I'll always be there. Or I'll be dead! But I'll find a way to come back so I can find you."

"I'm your number-one assistant, after all, right?"

No, Spike.

You were more than that.

You weren't my number-one friend or best friend.

You were Spike.

The tip of Twilight's horn doubled in energy as her head wiggled beneath the power. Then it threw back as the spell was cast. The entrance of the valley, pierced upward, with thin beams, beacons, of green. Stabbing upward as they littered deeper into the gorge.

Twilight shook her head and fell into a dive. Enduring the cold slices of wind that tore into her as it gave her momentum to straighten into the valley. Soaring across it with glances down her side. Checking the path and pattern of the dragon once here.

And where he might be.

Soon the steps slowed, and so did she, in coming to a wall.

Twilight dove down into the darkness, with an emerald glow from her horn, in seeing the final steps. Nearly touching to the ground and checking the wall. There. Punctures of claws were torn into the rock—and leading upward.

And Twilight flapped her wings, rising and dropping, feeling weak, tired, cold and wanting to go. Drained of adrenaline and the dread of the last weeks causing her to be weak. But she flapped. Harder. Higher. With closed eyes and with a consciousness that was fading.

"Keep on for a little longer. Then pass out harder than you've passed out before. Don't try to cheat sleep. Your studying will be worse for it." Spike chuckled. "Of course. Your overall health and mental being will also be worse for it. But those just side notes to the first reason."

Always know how to get me to listen. Much less take care of myself. Thank you, Spike.

Twilight's eyes opened before her wings gave out. Opening to the dark blue dimness of the night, and the dull, orange plane before her, that swept out of her vision. At the edge of the ridge, however, was a campfire, weak, but burning.

And a tent set before it.

Panic seized the mare. Not feeling her hooves land onto the ground, but the aching slices that were done around her heart. She stole forward, a step, a painful throb, until a lick of warmth was on the side of her hooves.

Twilight barely tore her muzzle from the tent to the fire, which weakly, slowly burned, but was still there—even after all this time. That it could still be kindled. That it offered her a touch of warmth. A little hint, a little strength, to allow her to go on and enhance it.

Her body wanted to shut down. Her stomach twisted at the idea of going in there. Seeing him. Talking. Doing things. Anything. How it cut and scared and terrified her. A desire to puke and another to collapse slightly beyond here.

Yet despite her fear and doubts and woes, she went on, into the entrance of the tent. She let her bleeding heart, no matter how much it hurt, to lead the way. Her shoulders slumped and her body compressed into itself. But Twilight walked inside.

And went to wake the dragon.

Spike was in darkness, tinged with his consciousness, that hazily aware of itself, and infusing the air with constructs from his psyche. Vague images and distorted voices and blurs of purple brushed across the darkness. The feeling of Twilight. The sensations of her. Following him even into sleep.

Until a kiss woke him up.

He didn't know when the darkness of a dream, infused by her, was starting to wane and, wherein that, his consciousness was starting to begin. There was a feeling on his lips. Soft and warm and brushing him with little tickles.

His mouth moved in response, trying to open, but the pressure on it, not letting him. Instinct betokened to push into the matter like the urge one has to initially squeeze a marshmallow or to tightly hug a fluffy animal.

The contact was smooth. Caring. The bunching and compressing of the softest substance ever to be known. The heat traced across its features and the plushness that caused him to press some more. To open his lips, to capture the entity, to be more infused by it.

Spike's eyes opened from the dream to find it's existence in reality. To feel the crushing weight of immense softness as something purple was strewn over his frame. That the length of a mare tapered off his own as plush thighs were draped to his hips.

The dragon came alive to the world, snorting smoke through his snout, causing the mass before his face to pull back. It was a mess of mane and a blob of colour to him. Once it pulled away, and once he blinked, soon, the image became clear.

The messy mane was voluminous and long and dense, and only a tip of a muzzle peeked out from it. Like a view of a lost puppy that settled, confused, before someone new. And then a hoof raised. Brushing some of the mane away. Revealing the vulnerable, breaking, and softly crying face of Twilight Sparkle.

The dragon blinked in, wanting to crawl back—but not craving to. He was cold from the night without warming himself up. His blanket was nothing to breathing fluff. How that squish flattened and rolled over his torso.

Finally.

Twilight came to smile.

"T-Twilight? Are you... is this..."

Too afraid to finish his sentence and causing the mare to sniffle. She looked to his arm, and so did he, as her magic rose it—and its other. The dragon didn't fight as his claws were laid on her sides, right on her shoulders, to feel her.

The cold wetness of dew and dull heat that was buried deep inside of her.

"You're freezing." It was his main concern, what came first in his confusion, regardless of everything else. "Here. Let me—"

Twilight's eyes retreated behind her mane as her muzzle inched forward again, kissing him, and the dragon could not see her expression. What she was feeling, thinking, or even what she was doing. Leaving herself as this mysterious entity that wanted nothing more than to kiss him.

Spike moaned without meaning to. Not like genuine moans are ever intentional. He'd never moaned in his life—except with Twilight. Where they were evoked. Drawn out from him. A weakness that exposed her effect on him. Her genuine impact her actions had.

He wasn't sure what to say, what to do, to be angry or upset, happy or overjoyed. All he knew was that he felt good. That a soothing cascade was warming across his body, lightening his tension, relaxing his muscles. Everything hard. Became soft. And his next snort of steam was lighter for it.

His claws on her shoulders squeezed, not in a way to stop or pain the mare, but to feel more of her, to see how much he could sink into her. She rubbed spheres there, liking the feeling of her, of the little whimpers she flushed into their kiss.

And then Twilight stopped kissing. Letting her lips linger on him before pulling away. She sat on his waist, placing her forelegs on his belly, both being close and away from him. Twilight sniffled from beneath her mane. And all the poor dragon could do was look up at her.

"T-Twilight?"

"...I'm sorry, Spike."

He blinked. "Sorry for what?"

She was slowly shaking her head, looking down, unable to stop her sniffles. "Sorry for not being there for you."

He sat upon his elbows as she continued to weigh down his waist. "But you were there for me."

"No, I wasn't." Her head turned as her hoof brushed away a tear. "At least not as much as I should. When you came back from Rarity's, I didn't help you, didn't ask how it went, how it ended, that I was there—anything."

"Because I already know it's there if I need it."

"But then I asked you to help me with my stupid problem! I—"

"You gave me the slack that was needed to... to... to be able to hold your shoulder... more than a friend would." Spike's voice croaked. "I... I don't know what's going on here, Twilight. But you were nice to me. Caring for me. Helping me get through my problem, then. That's being there for me."

Twilight sniffled. "And when I... said no?"

Spike huffed and glanced aside. "Being there doesn't mean you have to be there to every degree."

Twilight wasn't having it, though. Her hooves kept brushing into her eyes, pushing away her mane, her last line of defence, what could save some image of her strength. Spike was able to see her crying face. The way her eyes watered. How there were always more tears after she brushed the last set away.

"N-No... Spike... I wanted... you are..." Twilight huffed a sob and caught her breath, capturing a moment of calm. Then she looked at him with watery eyes. Doing her best to... smile. "There is so much more I wanted to do for you. I-I... everything you did for me... I... I wanted to do for you..."

Spike swallowed and looked back at her. His own eyes were watery, burning, as his claw reached forward. It was shaking as it stretched for her hoof, which was limp, but didn't fight being taken into his palm. His digits rolled across it. "I enjoy doing things for you, Twilight. I... love you."

Twilight shook her head and smiled. Looking at her hoof in his claw, she returned the contact. "I-It's more than that, s-silly. I love it... when you do things for me. Tease me. Touch me. Joke with me. Everything is... you are s-so... wonderful."

She gave a long exhale. "Even though I loved that. I-I... wanted more than that. When I c-cuddled... into your side... and would see your face warm a little bit." She giggled with a sob in the middle. "Or how I, T-Twilight S-Sparkle, co-could tease you..."

Twilight swallowed her next cry. "W-What made me scared... was not all the things you did to me... b-but all the things... I wanted to do to you." She leaned forward, draping her softness across his torso, coming closer by the second. "I-I loved, loving you."

Spike was losing his heartbeat and sensations in his body as the overload of warmth burned all the other feelings away. He couldn't see the goodness spreading through him. The concentration in certain areas ached nirvana into his being.

"I-I'm a selfish mare. A-Always have been. E-Ever since I've hurt you and been distracted by my obsessions to see that." She choked as her chest laid against him, and her forelegs went to circle his face. "Ripping a book from your claw and letting you land on your face. Needing you to please me after breaking up with Rarity. Rejecting you because I was scared to love you."

Spike felt softness brushing around his head. Forelegs hugging his sides as her hooves touched over his scalp. Purple furs that were claiming him all over as above, her muzzle hovered, Twilight's face, inches before his, looking down, not with assurance, but a calm brought on by love.

"And you were the reverse of me." Twilight's snout lowered to his, shaking her head, brushing the two. "Always there even though you were hurt. Even though you feared intimacy. After the pain of having your heart broken."

Twilight pulled away, an inch, though made ready to do more than that. "You shouldn't go after me. I'm not a good mare. I love you, but I might do something like this again. Get distracted by being a princess or shut you away due to insecurity."

She leaned more off him. "You'd be better off out there. Finding yourself someone that will take better care of you." Twilight was shaking her head though her eyes kept on him. "I'm a selfish, silly mare. You deserve better. Someone who would—"

There'd been enough words, and doubt had run its quota. Spike lurched forward, her hooves still around his head, as his claws set on the back of mane. He kissed her. A slow, quick kiss, meant to be proof of confirmation.

And then he pulled back, his eyes glinting, and he, smiling, looking at her. "But I hardly deserve you."

Twilight looked at him, lovingly, as his claw brushed to her cheek, which she laid into his palm. Loving the feeling of being held. The warmth that radiated beneath his scales. She looked at him with the beauty of a princess—and did not require a crown.

"That could be taken to mean two things, Spike."

"You can take your meaning," he replied, "while I take mine."

Twilight's eyes closed, and tears condensed on her lids. She didn't have to brush them away. His digits did so for her. Once she settled into him, they reopened without a next set to be wiped. She looked at her dragon. "I love you, Spike."

And his smile was firm and goofy and revealed a fang. "I love you too, Twi."

But her head shook. "But I love you more than that, Spike." And it kept on shaking. "I'm a selfish and anxiety-ridden and greedy mare that wants more than that. To have that assurance of your love." Twilight dipped to his cheek, exhaling on it, closing her eyes as she whispered. "I-I want you to be greedy with me. T-To hold nothing back."

She swallowed. "I-I want you... to love... loving me..." Her magic glowed, and his claws were placed onto her shoulders once more, forcing them to rub, until the spell was gone, and they were still rubbing. "That you love rubbing me as much as I do." Her lips raised to his frill, nipping on it. "And that you l-love me.... t-t-touching you... as much as I love to do so."

Spike's heart was hammering, feeling the heavy mare on him, exhaling into his thin, flooding it with warm air. Then her lips nipped at his scales. Biting enough for him to feel it. Causing his throat to choke on his next breath. Twilight giggled like a drunken man, set in a trance, as she continued to work him.

His claw couldn't help but slide down her neck, clumping her mane, feeling the dense, slick strands, and how they brushed between his digits. Raising enough to bury himself in her neck, inhaling the raspy scent of lilac as he set his lips on her skin.

Licking the taste of lavender. Kissing the heated skin. Nipping it.

"I've... I've been holding myself back," he breathed into her mane, "longer than you can know."

Twilight's snout wiggled into his frill. "N-None of that. I... I want you to be greedy with me." She lowered down to the crook between his shoulder and neck and nuzzled there. "Do anything you want with me... and ask me to do anything you wish."

Spike felt the mare's blush as it burned into his scales.

"...a-and... there's been... o-o-one thing... despite all your... j-j-jokes... that you haven't done..."

His claws were taken by magic and set down to her shoulders, caught there, buried into the coat of fluff. They were drawn back as Twilight pleasantly hissed. Glancing an eye to the back of her body, watching as those claws stroked across her barrel, all the way to the back.

Spike choked on nothing, and the swirling in his stomach, concentrated in his crotch, as his claws slid over the thickness of Twilight's flanks. Feeling their swell, the soft, heated lavender, of pure dough filling into his palms.

His claws were brought all the way around to cup her rump, grabbing and holding her flanks, as Twilight moaned at the contact, and his urge to squeeze. Warmth delight squeezed between his digits as the mare's head threw up to and whimpered in pleasure.

"M-More... p-p-please... b-be greedy with me."

His claws released the flanks to explore their slope, their curve going up and down, and how they arched to the sides. Their overall shape. Too much and too thick for him to take it all. Grabbing her ass again, he pulled the flanks away, the warm heat of her sex, wafting out, before he squished them together.

Rubbing them together. Feeling the effect, the impact, how they squished and compressed and then filled out. His digits, opening and closing, each knead, a moan from her, as she watched the show from over her back.

"All that teasing," Spike breathed as sweat carried down his face, "and your butt still lived up to expectation."

Twilight cutely closed an eye and covered her mouth. "Better than expectations, don't you think?"

"Always had a winning case on you, Twilight."

"And that winning case is yours to squeeze at your leisure."

The mare then lowered her lips onto his, the two, entering a kiss, a soft, slow one, lips working against each other. Without knowing he could, the dragon's tongue slipped into her mouth, set to wrestle the larger, broader tongue.

Their eyes opened in a narrowed state, a smile from them both, seeing as the battle was on. While Twilight could pin his tongue, more than doubling his size, the nimble, longer tongue, could wrap around hers, countless times, and squeeze her into defeat.

While this conquest went on, at the bottom of the lovers, the dragon's claws continued to work on her tush. Rubbing across it, feeling the heft of its bottom, the thickest portion, which he would cup, push upon, to feel the layered, lavender marshmallow, drape over his digits.

Pushing up on the bottom of her cheeks, feeling them rise and drop, bouncing and jiggle, the shaking of his favourite toy. The temperature burned greater than his flames as something wet coursed down his claws.

Their kiss broke for a second as Twilight exhaled the smoke he'd breathed into her. "Mmhmm. Smokey."

His eyes went wide. "I... never expected..."

"For me to do something like that?" Twilight asked with a sultry glare as her rump dropped onto his crotch, her back legs, splayed over his sides, as she rubbed back and forth. "We're changing, Spike. A-Able to dare more now." She laughed and gasped as a blush conquered the end of her snout at rubbing her wetness across him. "All this time, I wanted to cool down. N-Now, everything's so cold, a-and I need you to warm up."

Spike chuckled and hissed, that aching, throbbing feeling, emerging from his crotch. Twilight's privates laid over the underside of his shaft, pinning it between his belly and her swollen lips, which she dragged across his length. Both of them, becoming wet, as his hips began to ground back.

"Y-You're killing me here, T-Twi."

She grinned back as, while his claws held her rump, she was still the one controlling everything. "W-What did I s-say? Your wish is my command. If y-you want me to do something, you have to—"

"Please, Twilight, I'll..." he exhaled as his head threw back. His claws clenched her ass, and she squeaked. "...blow, otherwise."

Twilight snickered.

"Hey!"

But then she waved a hoof. "No, no. Sorry, Spike. Just... should have thought ahead." She then looked away, still sitting on him, but bringing herself to the end of his shaft. "I'm... still scared... to be held... pinned down... and thrust into. That's why—"

"That's why you can do all the work."

"Pfft!" Twilight rolled her eyes and looked back at him, choosing to lean forward, laying her hooves on his chest. Enough for his tip to become caught by her swollen sex, urged down, to the base of her slit. "Thanks for c-covering my ego."

His claw left her ass and went to her face, brushing away her mane, so he could better lock with the amethyst gems beneath them. The couple looked into each other's eyes. And then the dragon smiled. "Just so long as you're gentle with me."

Both of them laughed like kids, even as she took him into her, and the dragon couldn't help but thrust up, while the mare slammed down, and the two expressed their love. The romance that was between them, an entity by itself, that they nurtured.

The dull and smouldering sun rested on the edge of the horizon, bathing the farmland in the beginning of morning light. Fresh air that could only be found at the crack of dawn, infused with the dew of the land, relaxed one's skin, and freshened one's lungs.

Applejack stood on two legs before the kitchen window, the first to be awake, reaching for her hat—to feel mane. Her shoulders slumped, and her hoof went to the coffee instead. As she went to sip, peering over the rim to the day before her, there was a knock at the door.

Her head cocked and she laid the drink back down. Going to answer it, she pulled back the door, revealing, on the other side, a dragon on his knees. Spike's head was down, offering the best, forced smile, he could muster.

Applejack blinked. And then she pointed a hoof at him, laughed right at his face, and could not stop for the next few moments. Spike groaned and frowned and took it. Once the laughter slowed, he dared his voice.

"You knew?"

The southern mare didn't muster a response, walking to him instead, on two legs, and throwing two arms around his neck. She nuzzled his cheek while his arms wrapped around her barrel. After a few moments, she leaned back, kissing the tip of his snout—and pulling the hat from his head.

Applejack stepped back, placed the hat on her head, and turned away.

"Feel free to help out on the weekends," she replied and left the door open. "You won't be stealing anyone's work."

And then the dragon went inside for some coffee.

Epilogue | The Difference Between Hell and Heaven
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Heated Into Weakness

Epilogue | The Difference Between Hell and Heaven

~ Epilogue ~

The Difference Between Hell and Heaven

Twilight Sparkle wiggled beneath the sheets of the bed, stretching out all of her hooves, popping all the kinks in her muscles, developed, throughout the night. Something wrapped around her chest stopped her from moving too much, though.

And she groaned before even being awake. "Spike..."

"Hmmm?"

"Mmhm... Spike..."

"Ngya... ack... hmmm... tnch... yeah?"

"You have to... hmm... let me go..."

"N-No, Twi." The arm wrapped around her, pulled the mare close, that her back conformed to the curve of his torso. His scales blanketed her as his body heat bathed her. It was her favourite embrace. "There's enough space on the bed for both of us. Don't drown for my sake."

Twilight angrily mumbled. Still closed and backing into him more. "It's the male that drowns for the girl in that flick."

"Good thing we're different from other couples."

"That... you want me to drown?"

"No! That we choose to share the space or, y'know, just fly away."

"Mhmm... good point."

Twilight nearly fell back to sleep as she felt warm from last night. She could feel all the touches from the previous night. The pleasant soreness between her legs and the linger scratches that had played on her flanks. "But... there's so much... hmm.... paperwork to be done..."

Spike also groaned and held her tighter—out of fear. "Can't we do it later?"

"I have a speech to give later." She wiggled at thinking about it. "One that announces the date of my ascension. Terrified by that, by the way."

His claw raced to the top of her head, stroking down her mane, infusing his hug with love. "Don't be. It'll be scary, and it'll mean moving on. But... it'll get easier. Soon you'll get comfortable. It's just going onto the next thing, y'know."

"Maybe."

"How about you lay in bed for a little longer, and I'll pamper you, then I'll help out with that paperwork."

"You'll work for free?"

"Free is a strong word." His thighs clamped over her hips. "Maybe in our shower together... you could do that thing."

"Spike?"

"Please?"

Twilight thought about it. "Okay. Fine. In the shower together—I'll do it."

"Sweetness!"

"But you're tending to me for an hour as I do paperwork."

"Where's the downside?"

"Boys."

"Fine! It's not fair to do that shower thing anyway, so—"

"Wait! No! I like your... oh."

"Ha! You're just as addicted to me as I'm addicted to you."

"And thank Celestia for that."

The two laid in bed together.

"Will... you come to my speech later?"

"Front roll with the tallest thumbs up."

"You're the only one with a thumb."

"I know! It's how I can be sure it'll be the tallest."

"Y'know, normally, I would be silently terrified about this."

"No longer silent about it, are you?"

"Not even terrified anymore."

"Why?"

"Because I have you."

"Love ya, Twi."

"Love you too, Spike."

The couple eventually got out of bed and went for the showers, being in the bathroom together, enough to pound their hearts, but all for good reasons. Normally this was a place they came to by themselves; a room to be alone in all throughout their lives with.

They blushed. And kept several feet from the other. Heart pounding in loving having another here. Spike would always go in first, warming the water and getting everything ready. Twilight would be in after him, the two, standing behind each other.

It was midway through their shower that, as the dragon was rubbing a claw of soap across his arms, he looked down, and saw the mare lowering her chest to the ground. Sticking up her rump as her sex peeked out between glistering flanks.

Twilight looked up at him from the ground, with heavy, wet bangs, obscuring her face. Starting to grin as his fluster and the muster of his cock peeking into existence. Then she backed her ass into his cock, catching it into its cleft, rocking, squeezing, as his member grew.

Spike couldn't help but reach down, taking hold of her flanks, squeezing them, and pushing them forward. Twilight rose at once and smacked her hooves onto the walls of the shower. Her chest rested against the smoothness as his claws reached for her wrists.

"This isn't the usual deal."

Twilight turned her head, enough, to lean and lick his cheek. "Maybe I didn't feel like blowing the big bad dragon."

"Bad idea."

"Show me why."

Twilight sat at the table with her legs spread on the chair, eating an assortment of pancakes, strawberries, fried and cut bananas and other delicious makings of a dish. Chewing and chewing with a pleasured face.

Although that was for different reasons.

"N-Nhmmm... you... want to focus the clit... and that... other spot... at different tempos." Beneath the table, the dragon was buried between her legs, face set at her fuzzy vulva, eating away at his breakfast. He pulled away to the markings of honey on his lips. "C'mon! Let me practice a little here! You're getting off twice today!"

"I need to be sure nothing happens during my speech!" Twilight glared down her front, at the seat and edge of the table, seeing a hint of the dragon's face between. "And don't say you don't enjoy it! I haven't been eating these bananas for a reason."

"O-Oh..."

"Sooooooo."

"Fine."

The pleasure resumed, and the mare continued eating.

Spike was set in the office and sitting before a desk, bringing a paper close to his face, the text, however, a long stripe of black blurs. No squinting could help his red face. Much less the little exhales and the beads of sweat starting across him.

Then his claw clenched, and he glanced down.

Twilight was underneath the desk, her mouth, full of his cock, her lips, stretched, to take all of him in. Her eyes were closed, and her hooves set on his thighs. She rocked forward and back, moaning and in love, twisting a little to feel him differently.

"Tch." Spike groaned and scooted the chair back, leaning the same, allowing the mare more access to him. "Dunno how you do it. Can't... read... while you're...."

Twilight's eyes opened as they stared at him, and she doubled her speed, sucking him off and lubricating him all over. The dragon writhed in place, unable to stop his claws from going to the back of her head. He pulled her into his crotch, as he thrust down her throat, humping her face.

The mare rolled her eyes but let the dragon do as he wished. Her throat, thrust into, as he had his way. Getting closer and his throbs getting harder until everything hitched into completion. He exploded inside of her, spurt after spurt, burning and marking her throat.

Spike enjoyed the pleasure for a few seconds more. Then his claws pulled away, and the mares backed off her dick. Her head whipped back, and she swallowed, wiping her lips with a hoof. The dragon was slack in his seat, panting, recovering from his orgasm.

Twilight giggled and sauntered toward him. His head fell to look at her, confused, but with an idea of what she was going to do. The mare turned before him, presenting her rump, which she then sat on his lap. Her back fell into his front, and she wiggled to get comfortable, laying her sex on his shrinking member.

Her magic scooted them back to the desk, the two, a ticking time bomb, as she levitated the subsequent sheets of work before their face.

"What do you think of this change?"

"You'll get more dragon visitors... and there's enough space in Ponyville to build a cultural center for them." He sighed and, wrapping one arm around the mare's chest, the other scratched the back of his head. "But there's no space in Canterlot for it. And to change anything there, now, would cause an upset."

Twilight struggled into the crook beneath his jaw. "True. But we need to spread a diversity that, while not too drastic, will encourage other kids to visit us. Feel like they have a comfort zone, here, where they can retreat too."

"Why don't you start with this construction in Ponyville?" Spike pointed to one of the blueprints. "Here's a hub that's accommodating to them. Some dragons are a bit too big to fit in buildings. Some sales might need to take place outside stores. We might need to set an exemption for them to be allowed to do that."

"Hmm." Twilight rested her head into his collarbone, then, leaning up to kiss his chin. "True."

The two kept like this for a while, and worked together.

Twilight Sparkle stood in the hallway by herself, tall and confident, even with a heart that was hammering. Countless press with their chattering was on the other side of the doors. Even though she was scared—she had no fear in pushing open the doors.

She strode through the flashing lights, of being poised above the room filled with over a hundred, all eyes on her. She stood there for a moment for the commotion to calm down. It gave her time to breathe. To clear her mind.

Twilight glanced down to the rows of seats, all the ponies, dragons, griffons and the like. So many here because of her. She couldn't tell their features. Only seeing their eyes. Impressed or unimpressed. Happy or angry? She couldn't tell. Only speculate. And that never went well.

But there was one creature she saw with perfect clarity. That seeing him at the end of the world would be enough to still her heart. He was a face in the crowd, nothing special in contrast to all else—but it was how she looked at him that made the dragon unique.

Spike was the first to start clapping, starting the trend for everyone else to follow, as the room applauded her entrance. Twilight bowed to the respect, but glancing up at him, could read his lips. He gave her a thumbs-up while mouthing the words.

"I love you."

And she did the same.

"Love you too.”

Although those words were said by many, each saying was unique, for that love, and to whom it was directed to, could refer to them only. Twilight looked to the rest of the room, and although it still caused her to feel weak, which the dragon knew of, his presence, gave her what she needed to truly be strong.

And then Princess Twilight Sparkle gave her speech without stuttering.

Author's Note

Most of these afterwards begin with some lessons learned from writing the above story. It began as a gift to a friend who, progressively, became less of a friend. That isn't to speak poorly of them.

Just how things go, sometimes.

There isn't really a great moral I can stake upon this. I wanted to start writing more gifts for friends, as see with the few that I wrote before, to pay homage to EQM. But even that type of goodness has run its course with me.

This was a story I put a lot of thought and heart into. It seems to be the fate of the world that, the projects you don't care for, do well, and the ones you do, then do poorly for it. This story bombed for whatever reason you wish to place on it.

I've become something of a black sheep for this site, and I know that affects people wanting to read my stuff. Can't say I blame them for it. There's plenty of people I met or heard about that, because of that, I no longer have a wish to check out their stuff.

So I suppose all I can be thankful for is the original urge of loving Spilight that took me to write this piece, and the few that came along, enjoying the ride. Maybe, someday, this story will come out in another form, and find a different kind of success like that. Or it will fail twice as hard.

Good news. Bad news.

Who is to say?

I figured it's better not to give this story a proper afterword, but instead, to leave this entry as a proper reflection of the person, at the time, who wrote it, forgot its contents, and then uploaded with a strange hope.

The story did not do well in all hoped regards. There was not a great learning or an overcoming at its finish. I started it hollow. And ended it hollow. I've been going back to read my older works to find them terrible.

It's my only wish now, that when I go back to this work, that I can see some improvement, some goodness, inside the work. That I became not only a better writer through all this writing, but also, wrote a story that I would enjoy—even if I was the only one to enjoy it.

~ Yr. Pal, B ~