"You really call this good service?! It said you'd be here in about 30 minutes, and yet here you are, so late that it's felt like a month has gone by or something! What do you have to say for yourself?!" Fleetfoot shouted out the door at the pizza delivery pony, a big light blue stallion with a brown mane. He had a flat expression on his face, with eyes that spoke about a thousand different versions of "I can't believe I'm here right now instead of doing anything else.

"I'm sorry ma'am, but I got them here now." He responded, dropping the pizza boxes right on the inside of the door. "That'll be 30 bits." He said while stretching out his hoof towards her. Fleetfoot rolled her eyes, then put on a seductive expression, eyeing up the delivery pony in a way he wasn't really expecting.

"How about you lower the price a little, for a sweet little filly like me?" Fleetfoot said, fluttering her eyelashes at the stallion. He still had a flat expression.

"No." He said with a stern face.

"Uuh, fine!" Fleetfoot said, giving up and dropping the bag of bits into his hoof. He finally smiled and nodded at Fleetfoot.

"Thank you ma'am, and have a good night." He said as he began to turn away, but quickly turned back as Fleetfoot began picking up the pizzas. "Oh, and one more thing!" He said, in a voice louder than he had spoken previously. Fleetfoot froze and looked back at him.

"Uh, yeah?" She said uneasily.

"PLEASE stop making fun of my work schedule! I'm trying to get more chapters out to move the story along, but I have A JOB! There's only so much I can do! I know it's been 7 years, but I'm still working on it! So CHILL!" He shouted, seemingly at nopony in particular, despite looking directly at Fleetfoot.

"Uh, what?" Fleetfoot asked in utter confusion. The stallion composed himself and cleared his throat.

"Have a nice evening." he said, even with a little smile as he trotted away and eventually took off into the sky. Fleetfoot stood dumbfounded in the front door for a few more moments, completely confused at what she just witnessed, when a hoof touched her shoulder, making her jump. She turned and Rainbow Dash was standing there.

"You okay Fleet? Need help with the pizza?" Dash asked with a friendly smile. Fleet shook her head out and nodded.

"Yeah, here." She gave half of the stack to Dash, who took it back into the dining room. Fleet took one last look out the door before closing it, and remembering the name tag the stallion was wearing.

"Looks like Calm Wind has some issues." She said to herself before heading back to the dining room.

The four immediately dug into the pizzas almost as soon as they were opened, and they ate mostly in silence, with a few snide remarks from Spitfire and Fleetfoot at how sloppily Soarin and Rainbow Dash were eating their slices.

"Geez you two, get a room for you and the pizza." Spitfire said with a chuckle. Soarin glared at Spitfire, while Dash let out a short snort.

Eventually, the pizza was pushed to the side after they all had their fill, and the 5th round was finally able to start.

Dash picked up the black colored card from the top of the deck and read it aloud to the others...

"What would Grandma find disturbing, yet oddly charming?" Dash read, her expression turning slightly horrified. Soarin also shared Dash's expression.

"Well, I'm never gonna be able to look my Grandma in the eyes ever again." He said as he put down the card in front of Dash before the other two could.

"Already Soarin? It must be pretty bad." Spitfire asked. Soarin nodded.

"Yep, I'm going to tartarus." he responded quickly. Fleetfoot put her card in next, still unable to contain any laughter, followed quickly by Spitfire. Dash composed herself once more that night, and read the cards.

What would Grandma find disturbing, yet oddly charming? Peeing a little bit." Dash read, slightly gagging near the end of the card. Fleetfoot snorted, barely holding in her laughter.

"I didn't know Grandma Dash was into the golden shower." She said jokingly, but Dash immediately turned green and quickly flew to the bathroom so fast she left a rainbow streak behind for a moment. Soarin and Spitfire both frowned and looked at Fleetfoot. She sunk into her seat a little.

"Too much?" She asked sheepishly.

"YES!" Spitfire and Soarin shouted in unison. Then, Dash rejoined the table as quickly as she left and continued to read.

"Sorry about that, ANYWAY!" She said as she flipped over the next card, "My sex dungeon." She said, a hint of amusement shining through.

"As an old mare, I'd be into that." Fleetfoot said. The other three all looked at her with flat expressions.

"I'll.....shut up now." Fleetfoot said quietly as she sunk further into the chair.

"Last but not least.....Sexual Tension." Dash read with a slight chuckle. The others also found the card amusing.

"That'll make Tea Time awkward." Dash commented as she looked through her options. "Sexual Tension wins." She announced. Soarin reached over and took the black card as the winner.

"Wow Soarin, so lewd." Spitfire teased.

"Haha, shut it." Soarin fired back. Spitfire simply rolled her eyes and took her own black card.

"She's up all night for good fun. I'm up all night for BLANK." Spitfire read from her card.

"Oh my." Fleetfoot said as she looked for a card to play. Dash and Soarin also shuffled through their hands for cards, and eventually, all three had put one on front of the captain.

"She's up all night for good fun. I'm up all night for....Fucking a corpse back to life?" Spitfire read, getting more and more disturbed until the entire sentence had left her lips.

"You're in for a long night." Soarin commented. Dash looked at him with an eyebrow raised.

"Why, have you ever tried that?" Dash asked in a joking way. Soarin shook his head.

"No, but I think that would take a while to accomplish, just saying." Soarin explained. The others all looked at him for a few more moments. "What?" he asked. Spitfire shook her head out.

"Nothing......Drinking out of the Toilet and Eating Garbage?" Spitfire read the next card. Dash gagged again. Soarin reached over and put his hoof on her shoulder.

"You alright? You need a bucket or something?" Soarin asked caringly. Dash shook her head.

"No thanks, this round is just Really gross." Dash said as she took a stretch to relax herself. Soarin nodded and sat back in his seat. Spitfire smiled to herself at the little interaction.

"Last one, I'm up all night for Injecting Speed into one arm, and Tranquilizer into the other!?" Spitfire read in disbelief. Fleetfoot's eyes were wide.

"Pretty sure that'd just kill you, but hey, anything for a good time I guess." Fleetfoot said, taking a swig of cider.

"So, who won?" Dash asked. Spitfire looked at her choices before placing her hoof on the winner.

"Speed and Tranquilizer." She said. Soarin once again reached over to take his winning card.

"Wow Soarin, making a comeback." Dash commented. Fleetfoot laughed.

"It's only round five, he'll probably lose it soon." She teased. Soarin glared at her as she took her card.

"What's fun until it gets weird?" Fleetfoot read from the black card. The others all began to look through their hands.

"Most things, now that I think about it." Soarin said.

"Now I can't stop thinking about Pinkie, this card perfectly sums her up." She commented as she placed her card in front of Fleetfoot. Once all three cards were hers, she shuffled them up, and read them.

"What's fun until it gets weird? The Maretriarchy." Fleetfoot read with a straight face and turned to Soarin. "Really dude? Sexist much?" She asked. Soarin shook his head.

"That was not me! And I have no problems with mare's ruling Equestria okay!" Soarin defended. Spitfire let out a snort.

"You sure you're not just saying that because Dash is here?" Spitfire questioned. Soarin sighed and closed his eyes.

"No. This conversation is over, Fleetfoot, please continue before I hurl myself out the window." Soarin said quickly.

"But, we're on the first floor, and you can stand on clouds." Spitfire said.

"And you have wings." Dash added.

"FLEET!" Soarin shouted as he sat back down, a grumpy look on his face, and a blush on his cheeks. Fleetfoot simply smirked and continued.

"What's fun until it gets weird? Interspecies Marriage." Fleetfoot read.

"That does sound like something that will actually be fun until it's weird." Soarin commented. Dash nodded.

"Yeah, I'm already seeing it with a few students at the School of Friendship." Dash mentioned.

"Wait, Really?" Fleetfoot asked in surprise. Dash nodded.

"Yeah, two students, Silverstream and Gallus, A Hippogriff and a Griffon, they try not to show it, but they are totally, heads over hooves in love with eachother." Dash explained

"Aw, that's sweet." Spitfire commented. Fleetfoot continued to the last card.

"What's fun until it gets weird? A stallion on the brink of orgasm." She read, and once again gave Soarin a look.

"What? That's not that weird!" Soarin said.

"Yeah, maybe, but it is when he's been on the brink for 5 minutes straight." Fleetfoot joked. Spitfire and Dash couldn't hold in their laughter and let out many howls and laughs. Soarin caught himself chuckling a little before Fleetfoot selected the winner.

"I gotta give it to the Stallion on the brink." Fleetfoot said. To everypony's shock, Soarin once again took the card.

"You gotta be kidding me! How are you suddenly good at this Soarin?" Spitfire asked.

"I don't know, I'm just playing what I see as the funniest cards, either that or the most screwed up." He said before taking a sip of his cider.

"But, that's how I'm playing, and I'm losing the most here!" Fleetfoot argued. Soarin shrugged and shot Fleet a smug look.

"Then try harder I guess." He said before taking his card and sitting back. "Good news is, I can't win this round, so this can go to any of you." He said before flipping the card and reading.

"I'm pretty sure I'm high right now, because I'm absolutely mesmerized by BLANK." He read. Dash chuckled.

"You sure you're still Soarin, or are you Wave Chill right now?" Dash joked. Spitfire rolled her eyes at it.

"He doesn't get high THAT often." She argued. Fleetfoot chuckled.

"Yeah right, he came into practice completely baked out of his mind last week Spitty! Admit it, your stallion has a bit of a problem." Fleetfoot explained. Spitfire let out a long sigh and slumped back.

"Fine, I need to talk to him some time about it, but not now, let's got on with this." Spitfire said as she took a card from her hand and played it. Dash and Fleetfoot followed suit and Soarin eventually had all the cards.

"I'm absolutely mesmerized by Opposable thumbs." Soarin read. Fleetfoot chuckled.

"If your hoof has opposable thumbs, I think you need to get off your high ass and see a doctor." Fleetfoot said with a laugh. Dash snorted.

"I saw a pony like that once." She said. Spitfire nearly choked on her drink and stared at Dash.

"Really? Where?" She asked.

"Pinkie Pie clone." Dash simply responded. The other three exchanged glances before looking back at her, like they were expecting her to continue.

"Don't ask." She said before any of the others could speak. Soarin simply shrugged and went to read the next card.

"I'm mesmerized by....A bunch of idiots playing a card game instead of interacting like normal creatures." He read before looking at the others in an uneasy way.

"Uh, meta much?" Fleetfoot said jokingly.

"Yes, very." A voice suddenly said from somewhere, the four all looked around with shocked expressions, wondering why there was a sudden narrating voice, but they eventually decided to just get back to the game, because it was almost the end of the 5th round, and the writer just wanted to end the chapter already.

"I'm absolutely mesmerized by Drinking responsibly." Soarin said with a chuckle. Fleetfoot nodded.

"Yep, that would do the trick. Re-spon-si-bly, I find that incomprehensible." Fleetfoot said before taking a nearly 10 second chug from her cider bottle, and letting out a belch afterward. Soarin looked at the cards and selected the winner.

"Opposable thumbs." Soarin selected. Dash smiled and took the card.

"Thank you clipper!" She said happily. Fleetfoot groaned.

"Uh! You two are totally in cahoots, I swear!" She said grumpily. Spitfire patted Fleet on the back.

"Don't worry Fleet, we've still got 5 rounds left." She said confidently. Fleetfoot responded with a sigh and tried to take another sip of her drink, only to find the bottle empty.

"We're gonna need more cider..."

Author's Note

Scores:

Rainbow Dash- 6

Spitfire-4

Fleetfoot-3

Soarin- 7

Also, Calm Wind, if you read this, I'm sorry for putting you in this! It was just for a funny cameo I had in mind! Please don't yell at me! I promise this will be the last time I mention you.