The Pony Protection Agency

{Hugo}

I'm a god named Hugo, and Alex has no idea that he's one of my half-children, meaning he's half god and half human. I've made sure to stay out of the picture ever since he was born. It's not that I didn't want to stick around, I just couldn't. Let's just say it's complicated. Anyway, I rule over a place called the Underground, it's more of a combined afterlife along with my brother Bear's realm for the Earth.

Unfortunately, my older brother Zane would love to have people believe that I could care less about Earth, or humans for that matter. This is far from the truth! I want to share my talents and abilities with humans more than anything. Zane is the one that could care less about Earth or humans.

Every so often, I go outside of the Underground to date various women and they would agree to bear my children. A tell-tale sign that someone is my half-child is if they can have the ability to see the future. Of course, some people can claim to see the future, but they can't and they rip people off with this false claim.

One advantage of being a half child is that you can live up to three hundred years old. The half child that I am most proud of is Alex. The thing that does baffle me is that his sister, who is a half child, waited until now to tell Alex he was a seer. I don't know what her reasoning was on that one.

I have also seen the important events that are coming up in Alex's life in just a matter of weeks. One of the events has already come true, he meet an Alicorn Princess named Princess Twilight. Three more important events in his life are coming up soon. One of them involves Alex and Princess Twilight, I can't say much of what event that is.

Sometimes I love to sit in my chambers on my days off and open up a portal so I could watch Alex and see how he was doing. I love to smoke a cigar when I'm doing this. There was a knock on the door. I used my magic to open up the door because I really didn't feel like getting up and manually opening it at the moment. I smiled when I looked to see it was one of my Royal Advisors, Jason. I put out the cigar knowing that the smoke would bother Jason. It didn't help much because I put it out at the last second. Jason started to cough because of the smoke. For some reason, it was always amusing to me when Jason coughed because of the cigar smoke. So I would let him for a little bit before I would offer him a drink of water.

I did just that letting him cough for a little bit. "Well, now Jason, what's the word on the street?"

Jason coughed, "Word on the street? Don't you mean- the word around the Underground?"

I laughed, "Sorry about the smoke Jason. I was just watching my favorite half-child, Alex."

"I know you like to," Jason coughed in between his words, "do that your highness, on your days off, so how is he, doing?"

I finally decided to end Jason's torture. "Would you like a glass of water?"

I got up and got a glass of water for Jason. It's too bad I can't give that same torture to my older brother Zane. I handed Jason the glass of water. He took a couple of sips from it. I chuckled, "Now you should be able to talk. Alex is doing fine. But his powers did increase after another half-child of mine told him that he was a seer. I'm not sure why that happened. I guess it was going to happen sooner or later. He passed out when his powers spiked. Alex doesn't know it yet, but he's the most gifted seer ever! That's why he's my favorite half-child!"

Jason paused at that. I'm going to assume that he remembered when I told him about Alex being able to see the future when he was six months old. "Isn't Alex the half-child that has had visions ever since he was a baby?"

I nodded, "Yup, ever since he was six months old! I doubt he remembers that far back of course. Now I sent my cousin Discord to give Alex his exploding star crystal, that should help him control his powers better."

"Uh, exploding star crystal?" Jason asked.

"Yup, it's a crystal that looks like it's being blown up from the inside out," I said, "It helps half children like Alex confirm their visions and helps alert them if the vision changes."

"Huh, interesting," Jason said, "So are you going to bring him here so you can meet him?"

I stared thoughtfully up at the ceiling, "I'm not sure yet. Alex is just now learning how to control his powers. I might just wait until he gets together with Princess Twilight. He's already met her and I think it's funny that she already considers him a friend. Isn't that cute?"

Jason laughed, "Yup, that's cute. They'll make a good couple."

At that moment I had a vision of my brother Zane, who would be popping up any second now. I rolled my eyes and groaned, "Speaking of meeting someone, Zane should be popping up here, right about… now."

I pointed at the doorway and rolled my eyes when I saw Zane standing in the doorway dressed like some badass motorcycle rider. Zane took his sunglasses off and undid the rubber band that tied up his beard. He took off his bandana and put them in his coat pocket. I often wondered if anyone could see right through the stupid front he always put on. Jason gave me a quick bow and left.

As soon as Jason left, Zane smiled at me, "Hugo! My man! How's it going?"

"And what might be the reason for your unannounced visit this time?" I growled back at him.

"Oh come on Hugo," said Zane, "Can't a guy spend time with his younger brother?"

"The only time you come to visit is when Bear keeps his realm locked when he's inside to keep you out!" I snapped, "It's fortunate that I can see the future so that I can see you coming."

"I'm still jealous you can do that. I wonder why me and Bear didn't inherit that ability?" Zane asked.

"I'm surprised because you're the one with the most power out of the three of us," I said.

"Aww, thank you for the compliment," said Zane, "so, what are you up to today?"

I rolled my eyes because I knew what Zane was after, "I was trying to enjoy my day off with a nice cigar and watching my half son Alex!"

I pointed at the ashtray that I had put my cigar out in when Jason came and the portal I had opened so I could watch Alex.

Zane smiled, "Well, he's just sleeping right now, and he looks absolutely adorable!"

I went over and picked up my cigar and lit it again. I decided to take the opportunity to get on Zane's nerves just as he gets on mine. I closed the portal that I was using to watch Alex and got right up in Zane's face and the first puff I took I let it out in his face. Zane waved away the smoke and looked annoyed by this. It's good that he's annoyed because he's annoying me.

I kept blowing puffs of smoke in his face which made him even more annoyed. That worked for me.

"Isn't that bad for your health?" Zane growled.

I rolled my eyes, "As if you really care about that. FYI, I'm a god, I'm immortal, and I can't be killed by something as stupid as cigar smoke. What do you really want from me, Zane? No wait, let me guess, you want to crash on my couch again, right?"

Zane nodded.

"Fine then, just don't sit on my chair, that spot is off-limits," I said, "and it's just for one night and then you get lost. Got it?"

Zane rolled his eyes, "Yes, I got it."

"Now since you've interrupted my day off, I have to go do something that's called my job. You know, ruling over the Underground, the job which you bestowed upon me because you didn't want the responsibility!"

"Hey! We drew straws on that!" Zane snapped.

I grit my teeth, "If I recall correctly, I won that. Since you don't want to work, I still got the job anyway. Now, you're just a lazy one million-year-old man that still lives with his mom and dad! Bear and I seem to be the only ones that can fend for ourselves."

Zane sighed and the guilt on his face told me that he knew I was right. I didn't want to hear whatever else he had to say, so I stormed off after slamming the door in his face. I can't get any peace and quiet around here on my days off, can I?

* * *

{Alex}

When I finally woke up the next day, I rolled over to see Princess Twilight in her pony form, sleeping curled up like a cat. I couldn't help but think how cute and innocent she was asleep.

God, she's cute,I thought. I shook my head trying to get rid of that type of thought. It's just that ever since I met her I couldn't get over how cute and innocent she looks and acts. No, I can't be thinking this right now. I have a girlfriend and a job to do.

I kept trying as hard as I could to get that thought out of my head, but for some reason, I couldn't. She's adorable sleeping soundly like that. I didn't notice Fluttershy was there with a tray that had a cup of tea on it until she put it down on the nightstand next to my bed. I got startled when she did that. I almost fell off the bed but caught myself before I did.

Fluttershy looked at me and then at Princess Twilight and giggled, "Sorry Alex, but I didn't realize Twilight was asleep, and it's about time too. She was up all night worried sick about you."

I raised an eyebrow, "Why would she be worried about me? We only met two days ago."

"Oh Alex, that's just how Twilight is," Fluttershy said, "She considers everyone a friend until you show her you're an enemy. She's the Princess of Friendship, so yeah."

I paused, puzzled by this, "The Princess of Friendship?"

Fluttershy nodded, "Every princess in Equestria has a separate title added to their name. The elements of harmony are all based on different aspects of friendship and Twilight's element is the most powerful, Magic. That means she's the glue that holds a friendship together."

"Oh, I see," I said.

Fluttershy smiled and continued, "Twilight's element of magic is the strongest element of harmony at the moment. It was because she figured out the spark of friendship that Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash, Rarity, Applejack, me, and of course Twilight became friends."

"But when Princess Celestia opened up a portal to Earth everything changed. I don't have anything against humans because now ponies can go to earth and live there. It's actually helped keep the population down in Equestria. You see Alex, there have been way too many ponies being born lately, so Equestria's becoming a little bit overpopulated. I'm thankful that there's rules for ponies to come to Earth peacefully. It's ponies that break the rules like Pinkie, that make us look bad!"

As I listened to Fluttershy speak, I couldn't keep my eyes off of Princess Twilight sleeping for some reason. Fluttershy stopped speaking and giggled, "You think she's cute sleeping, don't you?"

I looked away. Fluttershy seemed to find my reaction funny. "Don't worry Alex, you're not the first human to think Twilight's cute. There have been many humans before that have tried to date her, but she's too busy reading her books to notice. It wouldn't surprise me if she just goes back to reading her books after you guys catch Pinkie. However, she seems to have taken a liking to you. I agree with Violet on that."

"It's not like I have feelings for her or anything!" I blurted out.

I looked over to see Princess Twilight open her eyes, "You know it's not nice to talk about somepony when they're right in front of you."

"Twilight, I'm sorry, I didn't realize you were awake," Fluttershy said.

Princess Twilight smiled, "It's okay Fluttershy. Alex, I think it's cute that you think I'm cute while I'm sleeping."

Fluttershy grinned, "See Alex? I told you she's taken a liking to you!"

Princess Twilight blushed, "Well um, I uh… I didn't think ponies thought I was cute."

"That's because you're too occupied with your snout stuck in a book to notice," Fluttershy teased.

I bit my bottom lip to keep myself from laughing. Princess Twilight smiled, "Yeah I know, you think Fluttershy scolding me is funny, don't you Alex?"

Nope, I'm not laughing. I thought.

"You know it's okay to laugh, right?" Princess Twilight asked.

I cleared my throat and composed myself, "Yeah, no, where I'm from it's impolite to."

"Huh, interesting, exactly where are you from?" Princess Twilight asked.

"I'm from a place that's in a forest that borders the United States of America and Canada," I said, "I lived there alone with my mother and she didn't like me laughing in front of her. Especially if I played a prank. I'm still getting used to how people act around the PPA. But I can't erase what my mother drilled into me. She disciplined me so much growing up, I can't laugh in front of others. I am happy that the last time I talked to her, she's been doing fine. Even though I don't plan on visiting her anytime soon, I kind of miss her."

Right when I said I missed my mother, Fluttershy and Princess Twilight reacted by saying 'awe'. Princess Twilight put a hoof on my hand and I gently pushed it away, "It's okay princess, I'm fine. Really I am."

"That's good to know," said Princess Twilight. She looked over at the tray with the cup of tea on it, "you might want to drink that, Fluttershy made it just for you. It's medicine to help you recover. My spell doesn't work for very long, maybe a minute or two at best. This'll help speed your recovery up."

Princess Twilight floated the cup of tea over to me in her magic. I took a sip of it and gagged because of the bitter taste.

Fluttershy smiled, "It's going to taste bitter. Every time I drink it, I don't like the taste either. I drink it every time I'm sick and it helps me. Everypony is different though. I hope it will help you."

Wanting to get the bitter tea down as fast as I could, I gulped it down and almost threw up because of it.

Fluttershy snorted. "You don't have to drink it that fast."

I looked down at that cup to see that it was almost finished. So I gulped the last bit of it down and threw it up in my mouth. Fluttershy and Princess Twilight started laughing. I saw Discord standing behind them. "Alex gagging at the bitter tea might be funny and all to watch, but I need to talk to him alone if you don't mind."

"Oh, sure dear," Fluttershy said.

After Fluttershy left, Princess Twilight gave Discord a worried look.

"What?" Discord asked.

"You're not going to do anything that makes him sick again are you?" Princess Twilight asked.

"No I'm not, dear Twilight," said Discord.

"Okay then," Princess Twilight said with uncertainty.

I couldn't keep myself from laughing as Princess Twilight walked out the room backward while giving Discord the stink eye. "Sorry about that Discord, I couldn't help it! That was just too funny!"

Discord titled his head, "Okay, why are you apologizing for laughing?"

"It's a long story," I said, "I already told Fluttershy about it."

"Ah, well then I'll ask her about it later," Discord said, "This isn't the right time for that. I wouldn't get out of bed just yet. You're not as recovered as you think you are. I also wanted to give you this."

I looked to see what Discord had in his claw. It was the same type of crystal the seer at 'The Eye' had. "What's this for?"

"This is an exploding star crystal. As you can see it looks like a star that's been blown up from the inside out," Discord explained, "It's to confirm your visions and keep you from passing out when the vision changes. Here, take it."

I took the crystal from Discord, it felt hot to touch and after a while, the burning sensation went away. "Why did it feel hot to the touch?"

"It's connected with your powers. You should be recovered by tomorrow. I would like to see you once a month to see how your powers are growing. Oh, and it's possible you'll be developing other abilities. From what I've seen every seer has this happen to them. I don't know why that is so don't ask. Now once you wake up tomorrow and grab a bite to eat, you should be ready to go back out to catch Pinkie. So with that being said, you should at least try to eat something," Discord said.

I still had the taste of that bitter tea I had just drunk in my mouth. I shook my head, not wanting to eat at the moment, "After drinking that nasty tea, I think I'm good on food for now."

Discord nodded, "I completely understand. Get some rest, and I'll be back to check on you later."

Discord didn't say another word as he walked out of the room and closed the door behind him.