Twilight Sparkle observed the bipedal being as she sat on the floor near the corner of the room, a book at her side. Moonlight shone in through the window, to which Ascentia's gaze was focused on. If she was aware of Twilight's presence, she didn't show it. The only movement was when she was biting her lip slightly, then placing her hand over the book, drawing it onto her lap.
Taking the time to approach, the unicorn then sat beside her. Ascentia glanced at her at the corner of her eye, giving a nod in acknowledgement of her presence.
“Um, hey,” Twilight offered, lamely.
Ascentia didn't reply for a moment, but eventually turned her gaze toward the lavender mare slightly, “Twilight. What brings you here? It's late. I figured you would be sleeping.”
“...I couldn't sleep,” Twilight admitted, nervously pawing at the floor with her hoof. “My mind is too wired and frazzled. I just couldn't relax.”
“I see,” Ascentia looked away again, staring straight ahead, “I suppose times like these would render sleepless nights. But you do need your rest.”
“Ascentia...” Twilight said then, ignoring her statement for the moment.
“Yes?” The Val'Kyr looked at her again. “What is it?”
“I'm not sure what to do.”
“About what?”
“This, all of this,” Twilight gestured her foreleg around the room in all directions for emphasis, “Usually I'm the kind of pony who has answers to anything. Or if I don't, I can easily refer to a book or know somepony who would. But right now, I just don't know. I don't know if what I can do is enough to save Equestria.”
Ascentia was quiet for a few moments, but her gaze fixated on Twilight. After a moment or two, she spoke up again, “You're afraid, Twilight. The fear and uncertainty of everything is catching up to you.”
“I'm sorry,” Twilight looked down at the floor, but decided avoiding her gaze wasn't going to do her any good. She looked up at Ascentia, meeting the dull grey eyes of the Val'Kyr.
“You're beginning to sound like the yellow one...Fluttershy,” Ascentia told her, a tint of amusement in her voice. “There's no need to apologize. Everyone gets scared. I'm not surprised that you feel scared and uncertain.”
Twilight sighed, unsure of admitting some of the real reasons she was scared.
A hand was placed on her head, gently stroking her mane. Twilight looked up again, seeing Ascentia's gaze bearing into hers. A hint of a smile was quirking at her lips, but otherwise remained stoic.
“A lot is at stake, the entire world as you know it will fall.”
“That's just it! Equestria is doomed, it's all happening too fast! One little mistake and it's over! What if I don't know enough? What if I'm not strong enough? What if I can't do it? Not even the Elements of Harmony can do anything!” Twilight covered her face with her hooves. Tears were threatening to pool in her eyes, but she held them back. She could not let Ascentia see her cry. Not like this.
No sound was uttered, Twilight could see and feel nothing. All she could feel was Ascentia's hand gently brushing through her mane. It was the only way she even knew that she was still there.
“And here I thought going against Nightmare Moon, Discord and Queen Chrysalis were bad enough...” Twilight mumbled, lowering her hooves to the floor. “Eternal Night...a world of Chaos and Disharmony, overtaken by Changelings...what jokes. At least there, Equestria would still be standing.”
“There were many worlds in which catastrophes such as those led to their downfall,” Ascentia pointed out.
“I guess,” Twilight sighed, looking out the window this time, “Frankly, I'd rather go back to having a panic attack over being tardy.”
Silence befall the two of them as they sat there in the dimly lit room, with the only sounds heard being their breathing. Eventually, Ascentia looked down at Twilight once more, rousing her attention by gently patting her head.
“You mean that tale of when you lost your mind, performed a spell on a childhood plaything, caused a ruckus in the entire town as they fought over it, leading your Princess to intervene?” Came Ascentia's knowing response, having heard this story before.
Laughing humourlessly, Twilight nodded, angling her head into Ascentia's hand a bit more, “Yeah, THAT story.”
“Hmm,” Ascentia responded, looking down at her again, “Anyone in your situation would think back to more mundane problems, big as they may have been at the time, to be a far better option.”
“Have...you ever felt that way?”
Having expected the Val'Kyr to shrug it off or even simply say she didn't, Twilight was taken aback when she saw Ascentia's normally dull gray eyes actually go wide with mild surprise. She did, however, revert to her calm, stoic demeanour moments later before she turned her gaze to the window.
“No one has asked me that for a long time,” Ascentia admitted, “And it certainly isn't a question I can easily answer.”
Twilight nodded a little, “You've been around for a long time, I guess it'd be hard to pinpoint something like that, wouldn't it?”
Thinking a few moments, Ascentia shook her head, “Not exactly. I can remember many things from my past, despite how much I have seen and experienced.”
“Can you...think of one?”
Silent, Twilight could see Ascentia's eyes narrow in contemplation. It was some moments later that she responded, “I suppose I could. When I was but a child, I had once broken a priceless artifact of my kind. I had been practicing a technique I had learned, but I overestimated my strength, and I ended up breaking the artifact in the process.”
“Well, to be fair, it was an accident, wasn't it?” Twilight offered.
Ascentia looked at her again, her lips quirking, “Not entirely. I cannot say that I had intended to break it, but that doesn't mean I couldn't have been more careful. As well as that, I really shouldn't have practiced with priceless artifacts in the room I was in.”
The unicorn thought of that for a few moments. Indeed, things could happen even if you didn't intend for them to. She tried then, to picture this woman beside her as a little child, the bipedal equivalent to a filly, practicing her abilities and then breaking something in the process. It was almost amusing to think of, to be sure, given how much of a being that Ascentia was. To imagine her experiencing something so, well, normal, was pretty humbling to Twilight. Almost kind of the same way a child soon realizes that their parents are not the all-knowing and powerful beings, but are average ponies just like everypony else.
Twilight exhaled, leaning against Ascentia a little. The hand on her head eventually trailed down her back, holding her, and occasionally patting her coat gently.
“I wonder how many books or things I broke when I was practicing magic as a filly,” Twilight mused.
“We all make mistakes as we practice new things,” Ascentia said softly, “But it's part of how we grow. Not just in learning techniques or magic, but in life as well. Staying alive for however long isn't how we learn. It's what we gain from our experiences.”
Glancing up toward her, Twilight's purple eyes met straight with Ascentia's, as the two gazed upon each other for a few moments. Ascentia's lips quirked slightly then, smiling ever so slightly.
“I'm certain you must have learned a lot, Twilight. You speak of many experiences that I can see has kept with you,” she said, reaching up to stroke her mane again.
“It's kind of hard to forget life-changing experiences,” Twilight mused, shaking her head a bit. “I think the explosion of the Sonic Rainboom when I was just a filly was only the start.”
A murmur of agreement was heard from the Val'Kyr, but she said nothing more. Twilight also fell into silence while her mind was jumbled, as it always seemed to be. Loaded with knowledge of various subjects, magical techniques, memories, and especially with her worries and strategies for the upcoming dangers. She felt restless, with sleep evading her all the more, if it hadn't already done so earlier.
The room fell quiet, with no sound to be heard. Even the usual, soothing sounds of the night beyond the window were hushed. Luna's moon, once prospering beautifully within the dark sky only now seemed dulled and lifeless. Simply just existing as it usually did.
“You know,” Ascentia spoke up, breaking the silence in the room, “In all of my years of having been a Val'Kyr, I would never have expected such feats to come upon me or my kind.”
Twilight glanced at her, curious as to where she was going with this.
“To be here, on this planet, with lifeforms such as yourselves,” she went on, returning her gaze to the unicorn once again, “It's fascinating.”
A little smile came to Twilight's lips, “I read of that a lot in stories, if I even choose to read a fictional story. Whenever there's a story about a character who ends up in some different place, in or out of their world, they do say that kind of thing.”
“Yes,” Ascentia responded, “I have seen such moments, and have experienced many of them for myself. Most would think that because I-”
“Have been around so long and saw so many things, that nothing would impress you?” Twilight cut in, a little too overzealous to let that slip. She sat back, sheepish, realizing her mistake. “Sorry, what were you going to say?”
Ascentia chuckled slightly with amusement before speaking up again, “That is precisely what I meant. It is true that there are many things that do not phase me. When you have seen a lot of things, they do not have the same effect on you. Especially when you are seeing the very same things numerous times. Think of it this way. A meal you really like, anything.”
“Um...” Twilight bit her lip, trying to think of one. It was never easy to answer some of the standard questions about something that was a favourite. “I don't know...a daisy sandwich!”
“All right. Say you have a daisy sandwich every day, for the rest of your life. Not necessarily anything but, you just simply include it in your daily diet. Now, as much as you love the sandwich, you will want something different. Another kind of sandwich, or, even a different meal in general. A part of why we enjoy something is because we often have to wait for it. Then, it will be gone. In many places, species have events, holidays, that kind of thing. Something exciting to look forward to.”
“Oh!” Twilight could see where this was going. “Kind of like the Summer Sun Festival, or Hearth's Warming Eve?”
“In your world, yes,” Ascentia nodded. She stood up then, stretching her limbs within her armor, then walked over to the window. Turning her head to look over her shoulder, she gestured for Twilight to join her.
Twilight stood, heading over to stand beside Ascentia. The Val'Kyr brought her hand to her head, then rested it on her shoulder. When she looked up at the bipedal creature, Twilight observed that Ascentia was gazing out to the vast open expanse of the ground outside, and far beyond, toward the horizon.
“Imagine if...this Hearth's Warming Eve were every day. Would it not get very dull?”
Hearing a question such as this was nothing new, especially not for Twilight. Given the circumstances, however, she could see where this was going. It was amazing to imagine, living for so long, that you end up seeing so much, even multiple times. It was no wonder many ponies craved adventure or even just something different in their day-to-day life. Doing the very same thing, day after day, year after year, did soon lose the charm it once had.
A lot of fillies and colts alike did indeed express the joy of having Hearth's Warming Eve to happen every day. Why wouldn't they? It was a wondrous occasion alongside the historical back story of the founding of Equestria. These days, it meant one very thing to the children that they adored most. Fun, time off from school, and all kinds of new toys.
What they never quite realized, was that the holiday would very soon lose its charm if it happened every day.
“It would get pretty boring after a while,” Twilight mused, shaking her head, “Part of why it's a great holiday is because it only comes once a year.”
Looking up again into the dull, thoughtful gray eyes of the woman before her, Twilight wondered yet again just what she was thinking about. Where in the world was a mind-reading spell when you needed one?
“We appreciate many things because, as I had said, we anticipate them. They will soon be gone, which in turn results in having to appreciate them while we can,” Ascentia said, her voice lowering an octave. Her glance turned down to the unicorn beside her as she continued to gently run her hand along her mane yet again.
“Yeah,” Twilight shuffled her hooves a little bit, biting her lip. She wondered then, just where was she going with this? Aside from the obvious factors at hoof, to be sure. “I guess living a long time really is a blessing yet a curse, isn't it?”
“More of a curse, I think,” Ascentia responded, her eyes narrowing, “I'm certain you know many stories.”
“What do you mean?”
“Twilight, think about your friends for a moment. All life does come to an end one day. But if you were to live far longer than....” the Val'Kyr paused, looking contemplative.
“Anypony?” Twilight offered.
“...Yes,” Ascentia mildly shrugged, “I'm certain your Princess can attest to that.”
“She's lived for over a thousand years,” Twilight mused, “I think it'd be hard to make friends, watch them grow, and then have them die one day, while you're still going.”
“Mm,” the woman lowered her gaze for a moment, “It is why, as I'm certain you know, to live long while others around you do not.”
The very thought of living long, outliving her friends and her family, it stung Twilight to the core. Outliving them naturally or due to accidents was one thing, but to have to go through that for the remainder of your days? She wasn't so sure she envied Ascentia then, or even the Princesses.
Twilight could barely imagine, seeing all of her friends die, only for her to live on. And for the process to repeat itself for many, many years to come.
Flashes of her friends, all of them, came to her mind then. Twilight tried to fight back tears, but it was failing. It felt as if she was only discovering her friends, how much they meant to her. Though it had been fifteen years since she met them and even parted ways with all but Fluttershy, the memories of the “old days” remained fresh in her mind.
First meeting all of them, that entire awkward phase of trying to get through the day while interacting with new ponies in a new town. Traversing with them through the Everfree Forest to seek the Elements of Harmony, only to find that the elements were with them all along. Twilight would never forget her discoveries of them, the very moment that she knew of where the elements lay.
Ever since, she had been so happy to call them her friends. She loved them all so much, and she missed them. Terribly.
'What I wouldn't give to relive those days...' Twilight thought. She slowly trudged over to sit where she had originally been, unable to look outside any longer. The memories pained her, bringing more tears to her eyes. But she could not let Ascentia see her cry.
Not like this. What she needed was strength and knowledge, she needed a warrior. The last thing she needed was an emotional unicorn desperately hoping this entire debacle was just a bad dream she would soon be awakening from.
It was all too much. Twilight knew, all too well, that the risks were heavy. They could all die out there. She would never see her friends ever again. Never would she live those peaceful, wonderful days back in Ponyville, at the library, with Spike by her side. Going out into town, heading to Sugarcube Corner to see Pinkie Pie, the aromas of her wonderful baked goods wafting to her nostrils. Looking up to the sky and seeing Rainbow Dash either napping on a cloud or performing her daring tricks with passion and precision. Then there was Sweet Apple Acres, where Applejack worked as hard as she possibly could, bucking those apple trees like nopony's business. Rarity, always graceful and hard working at her designs, would be running her boutique like the ever-bustling businessmare she was.
All of those days were now long gone. With nothing but the memories remaining.
Twilight, lost in her memories, didn't even realize that she was beginning to sob. She jumped, slightly startled when she felt Ascentia's hand gently touch her shoulder.
“Twilight, you're crying,” Ascentia said, her voice soft. Despite her remark of stating the obvious, there was concern laced in her tone.
A sniffle escaped the unicorn as she raised her hoof to wipe her eyes. “I'm fine.”
Sighing, Ascentia came around the pony and kneeled down in front of her. “No, you're not. Don't play that game with me. I know better. What's wrong?”
“I...” Twilight looked up into the woman's eyes, which gazed back into her own. Though her face remained stoic, there was a glint in those dulled gray eyes of hers. “I just...”
“You what?” Ascentia pressed, raising her hand to stroke her mane.
“I just... I miss my friends. We've all gone our separate ways, except Fluttershy, and I've accepted that a long time ago. But I still miss them so much. And Pinkie's dead...I'll never see her again. Just, knowing that still hurts,” Twilight sniffled, looking down to hide her tears. “I just want things to be normal again. But now I have all of this on my shoulders and sometimes I just don't know what to do! If my friends were here, I'd feel so much better. I love them so much, and I miss them. They could die out there, we all could, and I would have let down everypony...and all of Equestria. I want things to be the way they used to! I just want my friends back! I want to be back in Ponyville again! ...Is that too much to ask?”
Another silence befell the two, except for Twilight's soft sniffles and sobs. Ascentia said nothing, but her hand remained on Twilight's shoulder, where she gently squeezed. After a few moments, she felt the woman's other hand gently lift up her chin to meet her gaze.
“Twilight, all lives and worlds must eventually end. All good things must end,” Ascentia said in a soft tone, “But I understand that you're feeling this way.”
“I'm sorry, it's just...I know you need me to be strong. And I'm trying to be. But it's just hard,” Twilight managed, wiping her eyes again.
Ascentia shook her head, “Twilight...being strong, or being brave, isn't just about facing up to the dangers and opponents in our way. Or...as some would put it, fighting 'bad guys'. We're all weak in some ways. But we must acknowledge these weaknesses, these hindrances, in order to grow stronger. Just the same as how failures help us to grow.”
Sniffling, Twilight nodded, duly noting that.
“Missing your friends, fearing for the safety of others, and the entire world, while it may drive most to madness...” Ascentia looked up toward the outside sky for a moment. “It is still a part of what motivates our efforts, our goals.”
“I understand...” Twilight looked up at her tearfully, “And I don't want anything to happen to you, either.”
Ascentia's eyes widened. “Excuse me?”
“I just....I know this sounds crazy, and I don't expect you to...well, see it this way, but I know I do. You're...you're also my friend, Ascentia,” Twilight admitted, looking her in the eye, “I don't want to let you down and I hope you'll be okay in all of this.”
For a moment, Ascentia looked stricken. She then sighed, returning to her usual stoic demeanour. “Twilight...I will die eventually. Even I as a Val'Kyr will not live forever. Strong as I am, I am not invincible nor indestructible.”
“....I know...” Twilight sniffled, nodding. “And I know you probably don't think of me as a friend, and that's okay. I'm not asking you too. I just...want you to know that you're my friend and I care about you a lot. I just...you know...if you were a pony...a normal pony like all of us... We...really could have been friends,” she smiled a bit at the thought.
A few moments passed, and then a small smile quirked at Ascentia's lips, “I see. That's a very nice thought, Twilight.”
The unicorn looked down again, trying to compose herself as best as she could. But more tears were falling from her eyes, blurring her vision. Reassured as she might have felt, her heart continued to feel heavy, her muscles weak, and her entire form as if about to collapse.
While they may have had more of an understanding alliance than a real friendship, it didn't stop Twilight from fondly thinking of Ascentia in that way. She appreciated her company, her skills, her philosophies and interesting takes on matters. To say the least, she was by far the most fascinating friend she ever had in her life. She cared about her and hoped that she too would make it out of this all right. While even that was uncertain, just as everything else in the future was, she did still hold that ray of hope. Already they'd been through quite a lot, and Twilight just simply couldn't imagine her life without her. What with the impact she had made on her, it was no wonder.
If they were just regular ponies together, the unicorn could surely see that they would be very good friends. Days like those, however, were not only lost, but could never be.
She felt a start when Ascentia brought her arms around her. Twilight went frigid, surprised at the sudden contact like this. She was no stranger to hugging anypony, that much was certain, but Ascentia? It almost seemed out of character of her, and yet, this was really happening.
After a moment, the distraught unicorn settled into the woman's embrace and even returned it, bringing her forelegs around her torso.
“You can cry if you need to, Twilight,” Ascentia spoke, stroking her mane comfortingly, “I can tell you must not have had a good cry in a long time.”
Strange as it was, Ascentia felt pretty warm. While her scent was more rough, musky and even downright weird, Twilight didn't care. The comfort of her embrace and warmth were all she needed. She began to sob, very quietly, as she let it all out. Everything. Her fears, her worry, how much she missed her friends, how much she missed the old days, her uncertainty for the future of Equestria, her anger, her sadness, all of it.
Ascentia didn't do nor say anything. She just held her, occasionally stroking her mane or her back. For the time being, it was all Twilight needed. Letting it all out was relieving, liberating even. It had been a long time since Twilight ever truly sat down and allowed herself to truly cry like this. She wasn't even sure how long it had been since she last shed a few tears, even.
In these dark times, what with the impending doomsday, it was no wonder she needed it.
“...Thanks, Ascentia,”
“Don't mention it.”
A few more minutes of her silent crying passed before Twilight just about exhausted herself. Ascentia had released her, sitting back against the wall, and allowed Twilight to lay her head on her lap.
“Go to sleep, Twilight. I'll wake you in the morning.”
Nodding, Twilight settled and managed to relax. She could feel Ascentia's hand stroking her mane again, which felt all the more comforting and relaxing to the unicorn, who closed her eyes upon letting sleep slowly overtake her.
In doing so, she could hear Ascentia whisper to her just soon before slipping into a dreamlike state of sleep.
“...You're my friend too, Twilight.”
Within the realm of dream land, Twilight could feel some kind of a physical application gently nudging her. Whatever it was, she ignored it, just further engrossed in her dreaming. How could she not be? She was dreaming of having a picnic with her friends in the park on a beautiful day! Who wouldn’t want to remain in such a sweet dream?
But the nudging continued. Twilight looked all around her to see who or what was nudging her. She guessed it might’ve been Spike, since he had a habit of doing so when he wanted to get her attention. But there was nothing there. Her friends weren’t the culprits either, as they were happily chatting away and eating their sandwiches.
Another nudge.
“Come on, Twilight…it’s time to wake up,” a disembodied voice sounded from somewhere.
Ascentia gently nudged the pony again, trying to wake her up, but was having no success. Of course, the last thing she wanted to do was to wake her up by force, but she also had to get her waking up soon.
“Wake up, Twilight…time to get up,” she coaxed.
“Mmm…” A sleepy groan emitted from Twilight was she rolled onto her back.
“Princess…I don’t want to go to school today… I wanna stay here and make cookies with you…”
Chuckling, Ascentia shook her head and continued nudging the pony awake while running a hand through her mane. “That’s a lovely thought. But we can make cookies later. It’s time to get up.”
“Five more minutes...”
Exhaling, Ascentia glanced at her wrist, even though she wasn't wearing a watch. She shrugged, deciding to give Twilight a few more minutes to sleep. Then again, she was partially awake anyway, so it was likely that it wouldn't take too long. It occurred to her then that she might have been having a good dream, which she was glad for, at least Twilight's sleeping periods weren't filled with endless nightmares. At least, she hoped so.
A few more minutes passed before Twilight stirred again. Ascentia gently nudged her awake, with Twilight responding this time.
The unicorn yawned, opening her eyes to face the woman above her. She rubbed the sleep from her eyes, trying to focus on her surroundings. Stretching her limbs and body, Twilight rolled over onto the floor so she could get up properly. Even though she wasn't facing her, already she could sense Ascentia observing her, as if waiting for her to say or do something.
“Mm... Good morning,” Twilight yawned a bit.
A small smile overcame Ascentia's features, “Good morning, Twilight. I trust you slept well?”
“Yeah, I guess.... I slept fine,” Twilight nodded, sitting down on her haunches. “But what about you? You look like you haven't moved all night.”
Ascentia raised a hand to dismiss her concern. “I'm all right. There's nothing you need to concern yourself about.”
Twilight blinked blearily, waking herself up a bit more, and nodded. “All right. I guess I'll make some breakfast. Pumpkin should be up soon, anyway. I usually have something ready for her. ...Are you hungry? Do the Val'Kyr require anything specific?”
Chuckling, the woman stood up to follow Twilight to the kitchen, looking amused. “Much like any sentient being, of course we do require food and drink for sustenance. I however am not picky, so you do not have to worry about me. I'll be happy with whatever you serve.”
“Are you sure? I mean, I don't have much, but I could make toast or waffles or pancakes or something,” Twilight said, searching the cupboards with her magic. “You can sit down if you want.”
Twilight rummaged through the cupboards as she heard Ascentia take a seat at the table. Though the Val'Kyr made no immediate response, at least Twilight had something of an idea of what she could do.
“Anything is fine. However, I do hope you'll follow up on your offer to make some cookies.”
Turning around, Twilight faced Ascentia quizzically, only to find the woman suppressing a smile as she hid it behind her hand.
“What do you mean?” She wanted to know.
Ascentia chuckled lightly. “You were in a dream state, and had said you wanted to make some cookies rather than go to school.”
“I did?” Twilight tilted her head, then turned back to her rummaging. “I don't remember saying that.”
“Of course not. I didn't expect you to.”
“Then...were you joking?”
“You can say that. Normally, I do not partake in very much levity. Considering my line of work...” Ascentia let that sentence hang for a moment before continuing. “But it never hurts to lighten the mood from time to time. A moment such as this certainly is one of them.”
“I guess you're right. Pinkie Pie did that...a lot.”
“Is Pinkie Pie the one of your original party members that had been killed?”
Saddened, Twilight nodded as she faced away from her. “...Yes. ...She might have been loud, oftentimes a little grating with her constant talking and excitement... But she was a really good friend. Pinkie had a sweet, fun, easygoing way of life. She really didn't deserve to be killed...”
“Think of it this way, Twilight. She is in another place now, her nightmare is, for the most part, over now,” Ascentia said softly. “But I understand that you miss her. It is never easy to face the loss of a loved one.”
“No, it isn't. My father died a few years ago...” Twilight paused as she produced a box of cereal and a loaf of bread. “I hadn't seen him very much since I became Princess Celestia's student, or when I moved to Ponyville. I mean, I know everypony can and will die sometime...it's pretty much one of the only certain things in the world...but it's so final, and really sad when you think about it.”
Ascentia was quiet for a moment before speaking up once more. “That's very true. It even leads to the questions everyone has, about what happens after we die. No one knows for sure. Even those who departed cannot return to tell us.”
“...Well...maybe they're not supposed to,” Twilight said thoughtfully. “Maybe...it's just something we have to find out on our own.”
A murmur of agreement sounded from Ascentia, and the two spoke no further on the subject.
Some time later, a few minutes, which felt like an eternity, Twilight managed to prepare some French toast. Along with the bottle of blueberry syrup, the unicorn levitated the items onto the table, alongside a bowl of cereal for when Pumpkin would awaken. When the plate and a glass of orange juice were placed in front of her, Ascentia glanced down at the meal. Twilight studied her expression, seeing that it was her normal stoic one. But then it quirked into thoughtful as she took a brief sniff of the food. Without a word, the woman took hold of her fork and knife, proceeding to slice off a piece of the pan-baked bread.
Noticing Twilight watching her, Ascentia glanced up at her.
“Is something on your mind?”
“No, I just... Want to know if you like it.”
Ascentia gave a smile, then took a bite of the baked toast. She chewed a couple of times, then swallowed, “It's good.”
While Twilight was unsure why she felt so compelled to make sure it was to her liking, at least to the level she was thinking, it did relieve her to know she did her job well. Taking a seat as well, she too began to eat her own helping after she poured some syrup on her plate. After doing so, Ascentia took the bottle as well, pouring some onto her own French toast.
They ate in silence, with nothing but the quiet clinking of utensils against the plates reaching their ears.
As they ate, Twilight couldn't help but wonder things about the night before. Especially about what she herself had said. While she certainly didn't hesitate to refer to Ascentia as a friend, she wondered about it in full. At least, to the best of her knowledge.
Of course, Ascentia was far different from her friends. But when you really came down to it, removing a lot of the differing factors at hand, she really could have just been something like any other pony she'd meet. Somepony who was reserved, acted with proper judgment instead of emotion, patient, quiet, stern... The list went on. On a personal level given who Twilight knew, she was different. It was easy to say that Ascentia was by far the most fascinating friend she ever had, with or without the factors at hoof about her line or work, skills or species.
But then again, it was partly because of her that this happened. But Twilight couldn't entirely fault her. Ascentia was just doing her job, it was nothing personal. That was what the Val'Kyr just did. Despite the extremities within the details of their work; it was, to them, a day on the job. This was something Twilight could see, especially from having met Ascentia that day, fifteen years ago.
The fact she was coming back to try to set things right, at least within her own power, was admirable. Twilight expressed this before, to which Ascentia had said,
“It isn't hard to own up to your mistakes. Many are just too egotistical to do so.”
Twilight felt a smile come to her lips. It was then that Ascentia's voice broke her out of her thoughts.
“You have been very quiet, Twilight. Something is on your mind, isn't it?”
Looking up to the Val'Kyr, Twilight bit her lip. She wasn't too sure how to respond.
A small smile came to Ascentia's lips as she placed her knife down, “You also have been looking toward me for the past little while. Is there something you'd like to ask or tell me?”
“Well...” Twilight began before she could stop herself. Now Ascentia was expecting some kind of an answer from her, and she just couldn't sit on a big open field of nothing. But what to tell her? What to ask? What could she say? “I don't know. I guess I just...well, I'm trying to make sense of some things.”
Taking her last bite, Ascentia eyed her, even gently waving her hand to prompt her.
“Just...well, not just everything about this, but...us.”
“What do you mean by 'us'?”
Twilight looked down at her plate, “It's just...I know what I said last night, about the fact that I do think you're my friend.”
For a few moments, the woman was silent. Her expression was unreadable, but certainly not of anything offended nor angry. In fact, the closest Twilight could discern from her scarred facial features were that Ascentia was contemplating.
“Before you fell asleep, I had said that you're my friend, too.”
“...So...you did say that? I wasn't dreaming?” Twilight blinked her eyes.
Ascentia shook her head, “You were not dreaming, I did say it. I would have not said that if I didn't mean it, Twilight.”
“I wouldn't have, either,” Twilight said softly, still not quite looking at her, “I'm just sorry if I made it harder for you.
“What do you mean?” Ascentia wiped her mouth with a napkin, keeping her atrophied eyes on the unicorn.
Gathering her words, Twilight hopped down from her chair. She came around the table, over to where Ascentia sat. It seemed silly, since they were still in the same room, within earshot and eyesight of each other, but Twilight felt the need to be closer to her. As if it would further emphasize what she wanted to say.
“Being a Val'Kyr requires that you do your job without letting your emotions get in the way. Acting on emotions isn't the best way, because it compromises the entire situation It's kind of like...” Twilight frowned, trying to think of an analogy for it.
But Ascentia seemed to catch on, “A doctor, a surgeon perhaps, being unable to perform surgery on family members, especially that of immediate family.”
Twilight nodded, laying her head on Ascentia's lap. She relaxed a little when she felt the woman's hand gently run through her mane, much like the night before.
“Yeah, that's what I mean. Having to do your job, but with...your friends to think about within it.”
“It isn't your fault. Even I know well enough that we cannot help how we feel about things, especially when it comes to forming relationships with others. We don't choose how we feel about someone one way or another, it's just how we end up feeling. Of course, that is an entirely different matter altogether. Picture this. Do you know of survival horror stories, especially about epidemic breakouts of the undead? Or as it is commonly known, zombie attacks?”
Twilight glanced up at her, nodding a little, “I haven't read many of those. But I do know about them.”
"There were many stories about zombie outbreaks. While some consisted of the same formula, they did vary. Be it on the zombies themselves and how they functioned, or the story situations and elements. But that is, again, another story altogether. Perhaps we'll speak of that some other time. It is interesting to think about. What I mean to get at, is this. Imagine that a zombie apocalypse occurred around here, or anywhere upon Equestria. Imagine any of your friends becoming infected.”
Twilight considered, looking up at Ascentia then, “Well, how? How would they be infected, what would happen, how long would they-”
Ascentia gently cut her off, “That doesn't matter. Let's just say one of your friends has become infected and is turning into a zombie. You are faced with a choice. To put them out of their misery, or, to let them live on as one of them.”
“Is that a trick question? I mean, that's really hard to choose. I don't know what I'd do if that happened.”
“No one would know. But, it's about choosing between proper judgement, or, your emotions. On one hand, your emotions would be distraught at the idea of actually killing one of your friends, no doubt. But on the other hand, the logical standpoint would be this. Your friend is no longer living, they are dead, and now just an empty shell. They are a zombie, who will kill you with absolutely no hesitation or consideration. No longer are they who they once were. To kill them would be best, not only to prevent the infection from further spreading, if that is the case, but to put them out of their misery.”
Ascentia exhaled, running her hand through Twilight's mane again,
“I think you understand what I am trying to say. Despite that I do care for you, I will not let it interfere with my work. I cannot let that happen. How I feel does not change, and shouldn't affect it. We may have to make that choice, at times, and when we do, it is best that we realize the right thing. Maybe the right thing isn't always what we want, but it is the right thing to do none the less.”
Letting it all sink in some more, the unicorn considered it. Twilight wondered, deep down, if such occurrences would arise. In it that she would have to make such life-altering decisions and choose between her emotions and logic.
“A part of making such decisions requires rational thinking,” Ascentia went on, “Patience is key. When we rush or let our minds run away, we can end up making something worse. It's why we have to think about the situation before taking action.”
A few minutes of silence passed as the two remained this way, contemplating. Twilight closed her eyes, feeling nothing but the fabric of Ascentia's robes beneath her head, and the said woman's hand running through her mane. She could see nothing, hear nothing but her and Ascentia's breathing. A lot was running through the lavender mare's mind by then, an onslaught of questions, theories, all sorts of things she had to consider within their discussion.
Friendship, or any sort of feelings toward someone, definitely resulted in emotions taking minds of their own and deciding what to feel. Emotions were indeed a mystery that even Princess Celestia herself couldn't fully answer. But who could? Even Star Swirl the Beaded himself could never truly explain and take apart emotions, or even love. Sitting down and trying to logically explain any of it, to try to understand how it work, was foolish.
Twilight knew that more and more, especially in the past years, and ever since she first made her true friends. She had felt so many emotions she never knew, about herself, about her friends, about a lot of things. Feeling more in touch with her emotions was wonderful, yet, scary.
She could only wonder what could come of it.
Exhaling, Twilight rose up, placing her hooves on Ascentia's leg. She rose up, leveling herself at the woman's height as best as she could. Coming to her face, the unicorn leaned in and gently nuzzled her cheek. Ascentia stiffened lightly, but didn't otherwise oppose the contact. When Twilight lowered herself back down, she observed as the Val'Kyr brought a hand to her cheek.
Shifting her atrophied eyes back to the unicorn, Ascentia brought her hand down toward Twilight's face, gently touching her cheek. Twilight was surprised at the response, but leaned her cheek into Ascentia's hand.
Neither of them spoke, they only looked at each other. Their bond, even their alliance, may have been strange and so out of this world, but it didn't change that friendship could reach even the strangest places.
“Ascentia?”
“Yes?”
Twilight squinted a bit, then pulled back a bit, “You have a bit of syrup on the side of your mouth.”
“Oh?” Ascentia raised her hand to her mouth, wiping it off, “Ah, what do you know,” she chuckled, taking a napkin and wiping her mouth and hand.
Twilight smiled a bit, “Anyway, what you were saying before, it's true. That's some of the things I've learned when I was studying under Princess Celestia.”
Nodding, Ascentia stood to help her clear their dishes, “I don't doubt that. I'm certain she must have had certain difficulties when it came to having to seal the Xoroth within the moon.”
“...You know about that?” Twilight gaped, using her magic to carry some of the items to the sink.
“Of course. I know many things of your world. I have studied upon many of its stories and philosophical documentations, all kinds of ways of gathering the information,” Ascentia told her, “I also know of how over a thousand years ago, the Xoroth had become a manifestation of her resentment and jealousy, that of the spirit of Nightmare Moon.”
Twilight nodded, looking out the window with a faraway look in her eyes, “Yeah, that's what happened. Princess Luna was sure nopony cared about her... Eventually her jealousy, resentment and self-depreciation manifested into Nightmare Moon. Princess Celestia tried all she could to reason with her and stop her, but nothing worked. Especially that they were no longer connected to the Elements of Harmony. She didn't want to have to banish her own sister...but she knew she had to, for the good of her sister and of everypony in Equestria. After all, Nightmare Moon wanted to bring eternal night.
“Things changed since she was brought back. Everypony now are new generations from a thousand years ago, someponies didn't even know Princess Luna had once existed. It was all a big learning process for Princess Luna and even many ponies across Equestria. And now, well, there are ponies who have night jobs, there are night clubs, and other kinds of events that happen at night. Many ponies no logner miss the wonders of the night any longer. Ever since, Princess Luna has created beautiful night skies with all the stars, and meteor showers! It's about time...don't you think?
“I know why Princess Celestia had to do what she did. She never banished Princess Luna because she was cruel or any of that sort. Having to choose between her sister and her kingdom weren't easy at all... But she did the right thing, even if it wasn't what she hoped it would be. A lot of ponies disagree with that... But they didn't understand it the way she did, the way even I did...the way we all did...”
As they stood side by side washing and rinsing the dishes, neither spoke for a moment or two.
Ascentia looked down at her after a moment as she dried a plate, “Not many understand a situation if they do not see it for themselves. But that is an example of having to choose between your emotions or logic. Sometimes, in situations of that, we have to choose between the life of one...or the life of many.”
“The needs of the many outweigh the needs of one comes to mind,” Twilight remarked.
“Very much so,” Ascentia nodded, “As the ruler of Equestria, it's no wonder she had to make such a difficult choice. But it had to be done.”
“Otherwise, Equestria would never see the sun again,” Twilight sighed, placing the cleaned dishes into one cupboard with her magic, “...What else did you find out?”
“As I said, many things,” Ascentia paused for a moment, “I did read one strange story that involved...baking ponies into pastry goods.”
Recoiling, Twilight reared with shock and disgust, “What?! That's...ew! That's disgusting!”
“I found it fascinating,” Ascentia mused, chuckling, “And I must say, you reaction was priceless.”
“Would you cut it out?” Twilight frowned, sighing, “This is serious.”
“All right, no more teasing,” Ascentia said evenly, dropping the levity, “Anyway, I had read a lot of things about your world, to understand it a lot better. After all, as an outsider, I had much to learn.”
“I've read a lot about the Val'Kyr, too,” Twilight said, sitting on her haunches. “Well, you already know that... But even despite the...less than ideal ways of describing your kind, it's very fascinating. I mean, I'd read stories about there being the kinds of beings such as you, but nothing quite like it.”
Ascentia nodded, turning off the water in the sink, “I do appreciate you taking the time to learn more of the Val'Kyr than what is already presented, as I said before. The fact you try to understand is more than I can say for anyone.”
“Well, of course I want to understand. I mean, when I see a situation, I want to know all about it before I can make my own judgement.”
“That's a very admirable notion, Twilight. I could see that in you back fifteen years ago.”
Twilight smiled a little bit before she stood up, going to check on Pumpkin in her room.
Some time later, after Pumpkin had gotten up and eaten her breakfast, Twilight sat in the library with a book in front of her. Ascentia sat with her, leafing through a book as well. There wasn't much going on, they were just “hanging out”, so to speak.
The unicorn faced the Val'Kyr for a moment, wondering yet again about what she had come to think of the night before.
“Ascentia...you know what I said, about what it'd be like if things were different?”
Ascentia nodded, “Certainly. We all wonder things like that,” she said, and looked down at her, “Tell me, when you read a story of some kind...do you ever wonder what would it be like if something changed? Such as if a character said or did something else?”
“You mean, how different the outcome would be if things went differently?” Twilight asked.
“That's right, yes. Any kind of given story always seems to house alternate realities. Mostly known as 'What if?' scenarios, as it were. Many believe that in life, there are alternate dimensions.”
“Alternate dimensions?”
“Yes,” Ascentia nodded, placing the book on her lap, “Some would say that there are alternate dimensions out there, where our lives are lived in different ways. There are endless possibilities. Such as...a life of what it would have been like for you if you had never been enrolled into Celestia's School for Gifted Unicorns, for example.”
“What could've happened if Rainbow Dash never made that Sonic Rainboom...” Twilight said softly, contemplating.
“Exactly, and many more possibilities. Those alternate dimensions live the same, just with different outcomes to any situation.”
“So, maybe...out there, there's some kind of other world where...maybe...what we have is different?”
Ascentia nodded, “That's what some believe. Who knows, maybe there is a universe out there where...say, I am a pony among you all. Maybe in another, you're a Val'Kyr like me.”
“Me? A Val'Kyr?” Twilight wasn't sure what to make of that idea. It was fascinating, to be sure, but she wasn't certain if it was the best thing. “I don't know, I don't think I'd be good at it.”
“Why not? Twilight, if that were to come to pass, of course you would be thoroughly trained and taught the ways of the Val'Kyr. It would not be some kind of an overnight transition. Why, I myself had difficulties in the past when I was but a child learning the ways. It is not something you acquire quickly or even can think of as you are now. You reach it when you do, and then you fully understand what it means to be one. To think like one,” Ascentia ran a hand through her mane, gently,
Nodding, Twilight leaned against her a little, “I know what you're saying. Of course learning new things and the ways of a line of work take a lot of time and practice. But I guess it is hard to imagine having to do all of that.”
“Of course,” Ascentia nodded, “But as I said, it is only a possibility within an alternate dimension. In some other dimension, we could be anything.”
“Such as fish in the sea?” Twilight threw in.
The woman chuckled, “Don't tell me we're going to spout out different possibilities. We'd be here all week if we did that.”
“I know,” Twilight giggled, “But I guess it's interesting to think about. Well...if you were a pony, what race would you be?”
Ascentia shrugged, “I don't know. I suppose the closest would be a unicorn. I have long since lost my ability to fly, so I do not think I would be a pegasus. So, I think I will go with unicorn.”
Nodding, Twilight glanced down at her book again. Bookmarking her page, she placed it down on the floor next to her with her magic.
“It'd be interesting if things were different...without everything at hoof... Who knows, we could be friends... Have fun together...not have to worry about as much as we are,” Twilight mused.
A few moments of silence passed before Ascentia responded.
“It's a lovely thought. Dwelling on it will do you no good, but I certainly appreciate the sentiment,” she smiled a bit, “I don't blame you for thinking this way. Sometimes, it's nice to think of more comforting possibilities to ease the hardships all around us, even if we know they may not come to be.”
Leaning against the woman a bit more, Twilight felt her hand run down her back in soothing strokes, “Yeah...sometimes we wish for things to be different, even if we know it's not possible.”
“You never know, Twilight. You never know.”
