Chapters Jack's Journal (Chapter 2)
7-17
My clothes were a little bit stiff because I had washed them last night and hung them in my room to finish drying. I wrapped a towel around myself and headed for the shower with clothes in hand. In just a few minutes I was presentable and on my way to breakfast.
Spike had a big pot of oatmeal cooked up and several kinds of fruit to go with it. Throw in a cup of strong tea and I’m launched into the day. Twilight wasn’t around so I asked.
Spike replied, “She was up late last night. She gets all focused on a project and just doesn’t stop until she falls asleep at her desk. That’s Twilight. I used to try to get her to take it easy but then she came out of one her bouts just in time to use the info she’d found to defeat Nightmare Moon and save Luna. Now I don’t push so much.”
But I was still a little worried, “I’ve been there myself. It taught me that I could get burnout just like everybody else. After I learned to pace myself, I got more done and was happier. I hope she learns soon.”
Spike grimaced, “Please, do tell her. I doubt she’ll listen but maybe it’ll bring the day she finally gets it under control a little closer. Today, I hope you don’t have any plans for before lunch.”
Then it was my turn to grimace, “I do. We’re supposed to see Rarity for my new clothes. I’ve got the money so I guess I can go on my own. Ponyville has had two days of seeing me with Twilight so there shouldn’t be too many surprises.”
Spike laughed, “Don’t bother taking the money, she won’t accept it. She never does from any of Twilight’s friends.”
That seemed strange to me, “Surely she can’t treat everybody that way, she’d get hungry after a while.”
Spike was thoughtful for a moment, “She says that wealthy Noble Ponies in Canterlot pay a lot for her creativity. We are helping her sharpen that creativity by giving her challenges. Which means she’s going to love you.”
That explained a few things. I took some money anyway. Besides, I might stop by the market on the way back. Rarity was glad to see me, of course.
“Come on in, Jack,” Rarity welcomed me. “No Twilight?”
“No, she had a long night,” I explained. “Spike said not to expect her before lunch so I decided to be brave.”
That earned me a short laugh, “I don’t think you’re in too much danger crossing a few blocks of downtown Ponyville or maybe you’re worried about being unchaperoned with a predatory mare.”
My turn to laugh, “And there I go thinking a decorous Lady would have more to worry about closeted with an inter-dimensional monster like me.”
We’d made it to her workroom so she suggested, “Go ahead and get undressed while I fetch your new clothes.”
I did and she went to a shelf on the other side of the room and pulled out a stack of brightly colored cloth. Yep, no doubt about it, we’re in Pony Land. But they fit comfortably and did the job with a feeling of quality. She had five overalls, eight tee shirts and eight boxer shorts for me. And Spike was right, she wouldn’t take any money.
“Look,” I elaborated, “I’m going to need long sleeves and thicker cloth and a coat or two by winter and that doesn’t even count formal wear. I don’t think it’s fair to just take from anyone. If you don’t want money, think of something you do want. I’m good with anything mechanical.”
“Jack,” Rarity said quietly, “Trust me. I make enough off of the wealthy Noble Ponies of Canterlot to be comfortable. If I charged my friends what I charge them, I would have unhappy friends and if I charged my friends less and word made it back to the Noble Herd, there would be controversy and drama. So I choose to give gifts. Nopony could dispute that and everypony is happy.”
I thought about that for a moment and then said, “I respect that and thank you. Just don’t be surprised if I come up with a gift for you someday.”
Rarity grinned at me and chuckled, “Alright, there’s one thing I want from you. Take care of Twilight.”
I shrugged, “That sounds like something I’m probably going to do anyway.”
Rarity spoke softly, “Jack, Twilight is a very special Pony. She’s a Princess because she’s special, not the other way around. She has a Destiny. That's a big ‘D’ destiny not the usual kind. Taking care of Twilight is not a small thing. I know because I’m one of her friends and sometimes it takes all of us working together just to survive. An adult in the house could be a great help if you are up to it.”
I answered seriously, “Like I told Celestia, my default setting is to always do what is best for family and friends. I’m still getting my balance as a citizen of Equestria but I am finding some good friends among the Ponies here starting with Twilight.”
Rarity swished her tail and gave me a mischievous grin. “Just Twilight?”
So I had to grin back, “Well, Applejack has been pretty nice too.”
“Oh, Jack,” Rarity stomped, “Now you’re teasing me.”
“Of course,” I smiled, “what else could you expect when you give me opportunities like that?”
Rarity had a light, clear laugh. It’s perfect for an elegant lady and it made me happy to hear it.
“I am so going to enjoy watching you and Rainbow Dash. Rainbow loves her jokes and I’m betting you are going to be some serious competition,” she explained.
“I’ll be sure to remember that tonight,” I told Rarity. “Right now, I need a way to carry all of this. Maybe a bag or string to tie it up.”
“Don’t you have any saddlebags?” she inquired.
“Nope,” I replied. “Saddlebags won’t hang right on a human so we use either a single shoulder bag or a backpack for large loads but I didn’t bring either.”
“Hhmmm,” Rarity pondered. “I may have an idea.”
She disappeared into the storage area behind her workroom and emerged in a few minutes with what looked like half of a heavy duty pair of saddlebags.
“Somepony who should have known better carried something dangerous in a saddlebag and thoroughly ruined it. She got another pair and I ended up with a half a pair of commercial duty saddlebags. A little shape and hem, a strap or two, and you should be good to go,” Rarity explained.
We measured and experimented for a little bit and I left there with my new clothes in an excellent knapsack. Rarity still wouldn’t accept any money or let me buy lunch.
The market managed to be both fun and boring at the same time. All the Ponies were watching me but none of them were getting excited about it. I bought some cornmeal, some baby corn, baby carrots, baby cucumbers, okra, and a jar of honey. I’m going to make veggie corn dodgers and see what Twilight thinks.
Applejack had the carrots and someone she wanted me to meet, “Heya, Jack. This is a good friend of mine, Fluttershy. ‘Shy, Jack is the new arrival in Ponyville. The party tonight is for him.”
‘Shy’ was an ideal name, she was peeking out from behind a wing when she mumbled, “Hello, Jack,” quietly.
“Hello, Miss Fluttershy,” I replied gently and dropped to one knee so I wouldn’t tower over her. “I’m going to fix a surprise for Twilight’s lunch and you are welcome to join us.”
Fluttershy squeaked and whispered through a curl of her mane, “Thank you for the invitation but I have to get these groceries home to my little friends.”
After she had gone Applejack confided, “Would you believe that I have seen her standin’ on a Dragon’s nose starin’ into an eyeball bigger than all of her and bawlin’ him out because he had scared her friends. She made the Dragon cry and apologize while the rest of us were happy just to stay alive. Don’t ever underestimate our quiet little ‘Shy.”
I made it back to the library without further incident. After putting my new clothes away, I began lunch. Once the veggies were boiling, I started working up the dough and warming the skillet. By the time the skillet was ready I had the veggies drained and trimmed. From there it was a steady succession of roll the veggie in dough, roll it in the skillet, and lay it in a bowl. Damned it smelled good.
Spike must have thought so too because he came drifting in from the main library floor with his nose working. “What are you up to?” he asked.
“Surprise corn dodgers,” I replied. “Veggies fried in sweet cornmeal batter and surprise because there are different veggies in them and I’m not keeping track of which is which.”
I passed one to Spike to sample but before he could declare his opinion Zombie Twilight came shambling down the stairs, “Food? Food!”
So I set the bowl in the middle of the table and greeted Twilight with a cheery smile, “Good afternoon, Princess. Make yourself comfortable.”
I dealt out the plates and Spike spooned some dodgers onto them. Twilight opened one eye about halfway and studied her plate, “Food?”
I picked one up off my plate and bit it, “MMMMM, good.”
A single dodger wobbled up off Twilight’s plate and into her mouth. She bit down, paused for a second, and the corners of her mouth curved into a little smile. I took my plate over to the counter and started cooking again. I had to sneak a few directly to my plate or Spike’s because anything that got near the bowl was diverted to Twilight’s plate in midair.
Finally, we ran out of vegetables. I made three balls out of the remaining dough and cooked them. Putting the cooked balls on my plate, I moved to the table. Twilight had both eyes open now and focused them on my plate. “Those are different,” she questioned.
“Yes, they are,” I replied, “but you probably won’t like them as much.”
She immediately switched on the big eyed lost puppy look, “Oh please, can I just try one?”
It was hard but I held out long enough to slide one off to Spike before I gave her one and ate the last one myself.
Twilight looked expectantly at me, “More? Pleasseee?”
“Sorry,” I answered, “I’ll buy more next time. Besides, we need to leave some room for tonight’s party. By the way, I have my new clothes and an excellent knapsack in my room.”
Spike and I cleaned up while Twilight checked the mail. After we were done in the kitchen, we started on the library shelves. Spike and I make a good team with him working low and me high. By mid afternoon everything was dusted, straightened, and in order. Twilight had to explain her filing system to me several times and I still don’t understand half of it but she’s happy with the results and that is what really matters. I have a list of ‘interesting’ books and she has more questions. Spike felt a sudden need to go clean the bathroom.
Bringing the full force of her curiosity to bear, Twilight asked, “Talk to me, Jack. Tell me about life on Earth, what was it like day to day?”
It took a moment to find a way to describe it, “Humans have machines to help instead of magic but someone still has to decide what to plant, and when, and where, and when to harvest, and where to sell it, and so on and so on. The details change but the overall picture stays pretty much the same. We all want to be comfortable, well fed, and surrounded by friends and family.”
“But how do machines take the place of magic?” Twilight asked.
This is going to be fun. “Just imagine,” I began, “that you are a farmer and you need to till your field. A Pony would hitch themselves to a plow and go to work. I would get a machine called a tractor and go to work also. The difference is that the machine provides all of the power needed by using chemistry and physics in specific ways. I just sit on top and guide it. Tractors come in many sizes and shapes designed for many purposes. The kind I was using could easily prepare a hundred acres a day for planting. I would use a different machine called a combine to harvest the crop and again to the tune of a hundred acres a day.”
“A hundred acres sounds like a lot. What kind of crops would you grow?” Twilight asked.
“Just about any grain,” I replied. “Of course you have to rotate crops to prevent soil depletion but corn is my favorite.”
And that led to trucks and farm to market roads and co-op elevators and fertilizers and GMO crops as I made a strong run at overloading Twilight with information. I think we ended in a draw. It was getting to be time to head out to the party anyway. I dressed in the brightest of my new clothes and then decided to go barefoot. I know where the farrier is but I’m not sure he sells the kind of shoes I want and I’ve never even seen a Pony in socks. Conservation is the order of the day until I can acquire reserves of both.
The walk through Ponyville was pleasant enough though there seemed to be quite a few Ponies out and about this evening and a substantial number of them were headed in the same direction as us so I asked Twilight about it.
“Jack,” she replied, “If you have to make a choice whether to disappoint Princess Celestia or Pinkie, choose the Princess. It’s safer.”
I guess most of Ponyville felt that way too because there was a large crowd in and around Sugarcube Corner including a lot of Ponies that I hadn’t met yet. Maybe I should take Pinkie’s ‘just expect to be introduced to a lot of Ponies’ literally.
The seemingly random Pinkie is a highly efficient organizer when the object is a party. She had a spot prepared for me next to the table with the drinks and all I had to do was sit there, smile, and hoofbump as about half of Ponyville marched by. The fun part was that I got to meet some foals. Three were particularly notable. They wore matching capes and called themselves ‘Cutie Mark Crusaders’. They are also family/wards of Twilight’s friends and they seemed particularly happy that I didn’t have a cutie mark.
An hour and change later the ice was well and truly shattered so I could get up and mix. Shortly after that the individual that I had been anticipating finally showed up. I’ve seen a lot of manes with ruler sharp lines of contrasting colors cutting across them but it wasn’t until I met Ponies that I began to see lines running along manes. The very appropriately named Rainbow Dash took this idea to a new extreme. And I swear she flittered and hovered like a hummingbird indoors.
Rarity had been staying close, apparently anticipating this moment, so when the fluttering neon palette came through the door she moved up to next to my elbow.
“Jack, just in case you haven’t guessed, that is Rainbow Dash,” she murmured. Much louder, “Over here, Rainbow.”
Rainbow was quite obviously a high level athlete. Small and wiry with well defined muscles and an air of confident arrogance that only comes from winning damned near everything.
“Hey, Rares,” she greeted. “This is Twilight’s new boarder?”
So I nodded and replied, “Sure enough and you can call me Jack.”
Rainbow smiled and offered a hoofbump while hovering about level with my chin. It was a bit disconcerting but this was the first time I could speak to a Pony face to face without sitting down.
“I’m Rainbow Dash but you can call me Awesome,” she boasted.
Unable to refuse such an obvious gift, I returned, “Pleased to meet you, Awesome.”
Rainbow stuttered, Rarity snickered, and Pinky just appeared under my right arm saying, “I’m really going to like you,” and was gone just as quickly.
After my heart started beating again and Rarity stopped laughing, she said, “I’m sorry, Jack, but the look on your face is priceless. You’ll get used to Pinky after a while and even come to depend on her to be the right kind of random at the right moment.”
But Rainbow still had an issue, “They call me awesome because I’m the fastest flier in Equestria. What’s your talent?”
A little sheepishly, I replied, “I’m not sure. The doctor says I have magic but I can’t do anything with it. I don’t have wings or horn but I have been successful as a farmer so maybe I’m something like an Earth Pony. But we didn’t have talents like that on Earth so who knows what may turn up tomorrow.”
I mingled and said hello to a lot of Ponies but Rainbow wasn’t finished with me. She challenged me to an arm wrestling competition. Being a sly sort, I said that I would be glad to as soon as she grew an arm. Rarity thought that was hilarious but Rainbow, not so much.
All in all, it was a pretty decent ‘G’ rated party. There were some games and a couple of comedy sketches with lots of conversation in between. Twilight and I stayed long enough to help with some of the clean up.
Back in my room, I have to admit to some confusion. There’s a feeling I can’t explain when Twilight’s friends are all gathered. It’s like walking into a Clark Kent convention. They’re all good honest friends and I have no fear of any kind but there’s still a background feeling of carefully restrained power. I don’t know what puzzles me more, that I can feel something with such certainty or why it’s significant to me.
8/20
Rainbow Dash in particular gets a lot of entertainment out of ‘here, try this’. Sometimes we’re both surprised when I like it but not very often. Rainbow is fun to be around but her competitive nature has to be managed. We had some issues with sudden pinpoint thunderstorms until I made a slingshot. I put it and a few selected rocks in my knapsack along with lunch and set up a picnic in the park. It was obvious bait but no one has ever said that Rainbow had any impulse control.
Sure enough, a small dark cloud began drifting my way. (That’s another Equestrian mystery, how can a cloud be both small and dark?) I launched a couple of rocks over the top of it and it reversed course. No one got hurt and I achieved the status of equal in Rainbow’s eyes.
Rarity wants to know if I can launch snowballs the same way.
We have agreed on a suitable winter wardrobe for me and when I said that I wanted to be sure of having it before winter hit, she reminded me of the exact day when winter would start. Even with direct evidence right in front of my eyes, it’s hard to overcome years of being ruled by the weather.
But on the other side of my farmer coin, Big Mac and I are getting along famously. We compared notes and I know things with science that he knows with intuition. I go to their farm when I need a break from Twilight’s OCD. Working the land and all of the life on it has always been a comfort for me and some of my skills are useful to them. For example, I’m used to managing water without calling for Pegasus help so I can tweak their drainage very effectively.
And while we’re on the subject of Twilight, she is a wonderful friend to have. She teaches me with great patience and rescues me from my blunders without too much laughter. There’s a solid core of nerd in her with a lot of drive and ability behind it but it’s tempered by a very generous personality. I just can’t make up my mind if she’s driving me crazy or driving me sane some days. Regardless, I owe her a lot. Celestia may have ordered her to take care of me and paid for it but she goes above and beyond.
The medical archive is pretty much done other than Twilight’s observations on Human aging. It fascinates me that I know people who are effectively immortal. Entropy is one of the immutable rules of my birthplace. But then there’s Pinky. Pinkie is a walking sweetness overload in every sense of the word and she has her own set of rules that only she understands. What really confuses me is trying to understand how Twilight can seem so completely normal to me despite being a Princess and the Element of Magic but Earth Pony Pinkie feels off the scale bizarre.
A case in point: Twilight and I were shopping, or more accurately, Twilight was shopping while her preferred pack mule followed along. I don’t mind the ‘pack mule’ part of it because we get to talk and I get to ask questions. The library is great for learning history and geography but shopping is teaching me how to survive and thrive in Equestria. I get to sample new foods as they come into season and believe it or not, there are flowers that I can eat and enjoy. Take that Rainbow Dash.
Anyway, we were shopping happily along when the potatoes started talking to me. Twilight was several meters away in intense negotiation with the current owner of the potatoes after I had mentioned knowing a lot of tasty ways to cook them. The potatoes started by suggesting that I would really rather have cake and that there was an excellent source of cake nearby. I assumed that there was some kind of ventriloquism magic going on so I leaned in and whispered to the potatoes that I was going to deep fry them in oil. The potatoes shrieked and started begging for their collective lives. This drew Twilight’s attention.
“Pinkie!” Twilight exclaimed, “Cut it out.”
A giggling Pinkie emerged from the space between the barrel of potatoes and the wall behind it, a space less than a quarter the size of the emergent Pinkie and there was no concealed hole. I looked.
Pinkie explained, “I baked a cake like Jack told me about and I want him to taste it and tell me if I did it right.”
Then I just had to open my mouth, “Pinkie, if you had just walked in the door and said that we would be eating cake by now.”
I caught a brief glimpse of Twilight shaking her head as I was propelled out the door and down the street toward Sugarcube Corner.
The cake was excellent and we took most of it home with us to share with Spike after dinner. Twilight laughed as she detailed my Pinkie encounter for Spike. I just boiled and sliced potatoes. The German Potato Salad (with mushrooms instead of bacon) went over well and I had a supply of potatoes left over for chopping into hash browns in the morning.
Here in the quiet dark of the late night, thoughts sneak up on me. It’s been an ordinary day with housekeeping and work claiming time and attention but that’s done now. The consequences of consequences roll through my mind and invite a little more contemplation before bed. I am as certain that I find myself among friends as I am that these friends are gentle and honest with only the most minor of flaws. BUT. Some of them have god-like powers and a few are more than just ‘like’. I don’t know which impresses me more, Celestia’s ability to control even the sun or Pinkie’s ability to be absolutely beyond control. Could reality survive a contest between those two?
9/13
Rarity and Applejack showed up at the library shortly after school had let out, looking for their little sisters. There were a lot of comings and goings until Fluttershy reported that some birds had seen them walking into the Everfree. The consensus was that they were going to visit Zecora for some reason but the details didn’t matter, it was CMC in the Everfree. An expedition was organized and set out to rescue somepony (I was never clear if it was Zecora or the Crusaders. It might even have been the monsters of the Everfree.). Spike and I were ordered to hold down the library and to keep the foals there if they showed up.
Twilight came back alone just before dark. She reported that the Crusaders were back with their respective families being ‘educated’ on the dangers of the Everfree and everypony else was living happily ever after. Except maybe for Twilight. There had been some sort of run through the jungle, I’m not sure if Twilight attacked the plants or they attacked her but the result was a heavy load of burrs and debris in Twilight’s mane and tail. She retired to her bedroom to clean up and an escalating string of exclamations and outbursts began. Finally, “Spike! ”
Spike looked more than just a little worried so I asked, “What’s the problem? Can’t she just magic the burrs out of her hair?”
Spike replied, “That’s the problem. She can clear her entire tail in under a minute. She can get most of her mane just as fast. But there is a spot on the back of her head in her own shadow that is difficult and you know what happens when Twilight gets frustrated.”
“She can’t just pull a comb through it?” I questioned.
“That pulls her hair. Cutting the hair to get them out ‘ruins her mane’ and burning them leaves her smelling like smoke for days,” Spike answered.
“Okay,” I nod, “You take care of dinner, I’ll handle Twilight. I’ve got years of experience with half ton crybabies so Twilight shouldn’t be any big deal.”
I grabbed a bowl from the kitchen and stopped in the bathroom for water, a comb, a brush, scissors, and a towel. Twilight’s door was open so I walked in to find her twisting her head between two mirrors balanced in her magic, trying to see the back of her head.
“Never fear, rescue is here!” I announced.
Twilight didn’t even look up from her mirrors, “Where’s Spike?”
“Spike is making dinner. Do you remember me talking about living on the farm with horses? Those horses didn’t have a bit of magic but they had lots of mane and tail. Who do you think took care of these problems for them?” I explained.
I picked out a pillow to sit on and lined my weapons up beside me to wait for Twilight’s acquiescence. It took a few minutes but she walked over and settled down beside me.
“There will be no pulling or cutting of hair. When you’ve had enough, I’ll get Spike to finish the job,” Twilight grumbled.
Flicking some water onto Twilight’s mane, I began combing and soon had a large burr isolated down to the hairs it had sunk its figurative teeth into. A quick snip later it was free.
Then the eruption began, “I told you not to cut my hair!!!!”
So I held the burr out in front of her and calmly explained, “Burrs have sharp edges that bite into the hair, that’s how they hold on so well. Where they bite, it damages the hair and makes it frizz out. That’s what I’m cutting off, the damaged hair, because you don’t want a major case of frizzes even without the burrs and ripping the burr loose only damages the hair more.”
“Oh.” was the one word answer.
As the burrs piled up Twilight began to relax. By the time I was down to brushing out the small twigs she was leaning against me and humming quietly to herself. It was good to see her relax for a change so I brushed a good bit more than was strictly necessary. I was running out of mane to brush but I really liked seeing Twilight relaxed and happy so I started massaging her neck. The humming got louder and she started making strange faces, proving beyond doubt that there was a true Equine inside the magic Princess.
But all things, especially the good, must come to an end. Spike walked in announcing, “Dinner is ready.” There was a thump and Twilight was gone.
Spike blinked and asked, “Where’s Twilight?”
“I think she’s in the bathroom,” I speculated based on the direction the loud thump came from. “I’ll tell her when she’s done.”
“Okay, I’ll keep it warm until you get there,” he promised and left.
Getting up and tapping lightly on the bathroom door, I asked, “Twilight, are you in there?”
A small voice replied, “I’m busy.”
“Okay,” I answered, “Spike is in the kitchen keeping dinner warm so I’m going to go set the table and wait for you there.”
The door opened a crack and a large violet eye peered up at me through the gap. “Spike is gone?” she asked.
“Yes,” I reassured, “he’s down in the kitchen.”
The door opened up and Twilight craned her neck to look around me. “We need to talk,” she whispered. “Let’s go back in the bedroom.”
I sat back down on my pillow and Twilight made herself comfortable facing me. Speaking softly, she began, “Jack, I want you to understand that I’m not upset or annoyed. I was enjoying that at least as much as you were and I’m not at all sure how far I might have gone with it. But not in front of Spike. You should have locked the door.”
Wow. This could get complicated in a hurry. So I started with, “Please assume that I am a complete alien to your world and tell me which ‘that’ was serious enough to merit keeping behind locked doors.”
Twilight looked startled then thoughtful for most of a minute before explaining, “Jack, when a mare gives a stallion free access to her back, it usually leads to penetrative sex. It surprised me that you would assume such intimacy so casually. But you were so calm and focused on removing the burrs that I just relaxed and enjoyed the sensation. By the time you started on my neck I was lost in the moment and dreaming of what might come next. So I’m guessing that it’s different with humans?”
Double Wow! My turn to explain, “There is a large element of trust in exposing your back for humans too but it’s more about safety than anything else. Humans most commonly have sex face to face. Massaging your neck is the kind of thing that close friends do to comfort or soothe each other.”
Twilight nodded happily at me, “Now I understand. And Jack, I think we both need to learn a lot more about each others’ customs before we do anything like this again. I’m not saying never because I like the way you make me feel and I’m very happy to find that you are trustworthy, but we need to be careful for lots of external reasons.
“Right now, we need to get downstairs and eat dinner before Spike decides we’re up to something.”
For me it was a quiet dinner because I had a lot to think about. Twilight was bubbling over happy as she regaled Spike with the story of the great rescue. Afterwards we talked and grinned about small things but I was only half a participant because I couldn’t get this one thought out of my mind. Eventually I ended up here, in the privacy of my own room, with quill in hand and at a complete loss for what to write next.
So let’s start with the basics. I like Twilight, I like her a lot. I like her warm personality and her razor sharp mind. I really like the feeling of her warm neck in my hands and most of all, I like the way she responded to my touch. Just the thought that I can make her happy makes me happy. But what are the limits (if any) on that? I admit that I was trying hard to think of other ways to make her happy but what would I have done if she had locked the door and stood for me? I went there to remove some burrs like I’ve done for many horses over the years, not planning a seduction. But a growing feeling in my pants was answering that question for me.
I had understood shortly after I arrived here that some day I would either become a stallion to somepony or I would have a lot of cold lonely nights. But this wasn’t desperation, there is something special about Twilight. I wasn’t even thinking about sex, I was thinking how good it felt as her tense muscles relaxed in my hands and how she seemed happier than I had ever seen her before. Then she tells me that she’s happy because I’m sexy?
Hell, maybe that’s why I’m here. I see multi-species hybrids all over the place in Equestria. Maybe I’m here to add Centaurs to the list.
Jack's Journal (Chapter 3)
1/18
Big Mac and I are best buds after I spent most of the harvest on the farm with him. He can work harder but I can work longer and after our little competitions both the farm and my physique are in tip top shape. I made some new memories too. Sitting in a tractor looking out across kilometers of tall green corn and thinking ‘I did that’ is nice but so is standing in the middle of a field feeling the sun on my face and the life all around me reaching up for it. The latter is smaller but it’s more personal and I think I like it better.
But after harvest blended into holiday I became a little depressed and mostly kept to myself. Next year I want to embrace the Pony traditions but right now the too close parallels bring up feelings of loss and loved ones left behind. My friends have been kind and understanding but this is something that only time will heal.
Meanwhile, the new year has begun and familiar routines are re-asserting themselves. Twilight has been gone for two days. All she told me was that Celestia needed help with something and she would be back when it was done. Spike and I were to keep the library open and not to make any big messes. So I decided that it was time to make some progress on my number one project, finding my magic.
I knew I had it because I could feel it and the doctor could measure it. But until I could see it and manipulate it, it’s useless to me. Most of the books start with techniques to use magic because young Unicorns just grow up with it. The very few that mentioned adults having to find and learn their magic are directed at Ponies recovering from serious injury and having to relearn everything from scratch. That’s pretty close to me but I’m not exactly a Pony.
Those damned books did agree that deep meditation is required but every one of them had a different way to get there. I didn’t know which was right so I chose them all. Meaning that I sat down in the morning and swore that I wasn’t getting up until I had tried every single meditation technique or found my magic, whichever came first. By mid afternoon my eyes were crossed and my head was throbbing but had this feeling that I was getting close.
A break was in order so I settled back with eyes closed to practice one of my relaxation techniques, visualizing a calm outdoor scene. A beautiful lake appeared, shining silver in the setting sun. I was trying to remember where I had seen that lake when I realized that there were no shadows. The sun should have cast shadows but not only was there nothing to be shadowed, there was no sun. Yet it felt like I was there and I could move around the lake. I experimented, dipping my hand in the water. It wasn’t water, it was thick and viscous like mercury but had no weight at all. Most interesting, it wouldn’t flow out of my hand, instead it just laid there like a solid.
Then it was decision time, was this the wildest hallucination I’ve ever had or have I found my magic? Playing with it, I gained some skill at manipulation. I could call droplets to me or massive globs with equal ease. Threads and geysers were also possible. While I was balancing a small glob in front of my eyes, studying it, my headache hit me full force. Maybe I was working ‘muscles’ that have never been worked before.
But I had an idea. Twilight said she could heal or recover strength with her magic. This was the test. I looked at the small glob and concentrated on making my head stop hurting. Damned if it didn’t work! I’d found my magic. In the interest of ‘don’t make a big mess’, I needed to go outdoors to try some spells. But, ouch! When I stood up everything hurt. I guess I should have expected to be a little stiff after literally sitting cross legged on a beanbag all day. Never fear, I had the solution. I took another glob of magic and made my muscles feel good. Of course I was still tired and hungry so what the hell, let’s fix it all. I took a bigger gob and decided that I wanted everything perfect and functioning at peak efficiency. I wanted to feel as good as I possibly could.
Wow! This could replace sex. I felt good and my mind was suddenly clear on several things that had puzzled me. After some minutes of introspection my euphoria was interrupted by the opening of the front door.
“Hey, everypony! I’m home,” Twilight shouted.
Wonderful. This is exactly what I wanted, “Hello, Twilight. I’m so happy I can’t stand myself.”
Twilight walked over and examined me curiously, “You certainly look happy. What’s the occasion?”
I grabbed Twilight in a hug and explained, “I found it! I found it and I used it and now the mare I love is here to help me celebrate. Things couldn’t be more perfect!”
Lifting Twilight a little higher, I leaned in and kissed her square on the lips. She wiggled for a few seconds then grabbed on to me and pulled herself in for a deeper kiss. After a while I had to breathe so I set her back down.
Twilight took two deep breaths then looked me squarely in the eyes, “Don’t ever do that in public. Ever!”
Feeling hurt, I asked, “Are you ashamed of me?”
Twilight smiled and replied, “Not at all but the guards will freak and you might get hurt.”
Okay! Back to full happiness. She didn’t say I couldn’t kiss her in private.
Twilight looked at me intently. Her horn lit and she studied me closely. She nodded her head and grimaced at me, “You just had to do it, didn’t you. Well, what we’re going to do right now is put your foolish butt to bed. In the morning you and I are going to have a long serious talk.”
Feeling worried, I asked, “Did I do something wrong?”
Twilight grinned at me and replied, “No, not yet, but you did do something dangerous and in the morning, when you are sober, we are going to make sure you don’t repeat that mistake. Now come on, up the stairs.”
Well, Twilight seemed genuinely concerned and she is the expert so I trotted obediently up the stairs and into my room. Twilight supervised while I pulled off shoes and shirt and crawled into my bed. “Now what?” I asked. Twilight’s horn lit . . .
1/19
From behind her paper, Twilight replied, “He’s gone to spend the day helping Rarity with her inventory. There’s rain scheduled for midday so we should have plenty of privacy to get some things settled. Just eat your pancakes and when I can have your undivided attention, we’ll begin.”
I tried to make my pancakes last a while because the authoritarian Twilight was a little scary but they were just too good and my stomach was just too empty.
Twilight carefully folded her paper and spoke to me, “Jack, remind me tomorrow that Quills and Sofas has a sale going on and we need to stock up.”
Putting on my best goofy smile, I asked, “We’re running out of sofas?”
And that earned me a disgusted glare. “Jack, you’re not getting out of any of this. It’s too important, so please help me out here.”
I bowed my head, “I’m sorry, Twilight. I just get nervous when you put on your Princess business hat because there are so many things I haven’t learned yet and I worry about what I’ve done to offend you.”
Shaking her head, Twilight spoke softly, “I’m not offended at all, I’m proud. You’re taking your first steps into a very large and dangerous world. You just need to understand some things before somepony gets hurt.” Speaking up, she continued, “Let’s start with the basics. Can you find your magic again? What does it look like?”
I had an easy answer but I’m not sure it made sense, “I don’t have to find it, it’s always right there just at the edge of sight. Now, I wonder how I haven’t been seeing it all along. When I concentrate on it, it looks like a big silver lake.”
That brought Twilight to full attention, “Jack, just how big is this ‘lake’?”
Extra thought was required there so I took a minute, then, “It’s hard to put a size on something that doesn’t seem to have a material existence but comparing it to myself, I’d say it’s more than a hundred meters across and I get the feeling it’s that deep too.”
Twilight sharpened her focus, “How about when you manipulate your magic, does it come whenever called or do you have to visualize it and wait?”
That was an easy one, “I just want it and it’s there. It feels like it’s always been there and I’ve always been able to use it but I forgot to turn it on.”
“That’s very interesting, Jack. A Unicorn has to visualize his magic and wait for it to come to him. We call it ‘charging the horn’. He can get practiced enough to do it very quickly but he never gets to skip a step. He also has anywhere from a puddle to a small pond. You are therefore officially not a Unicorn,” Twilight pronounced.
I simply couldn’t resist, “Well shucks, we knew that. Now, what am I?”
Regarding me calmly, Twilight explained, “By your own statement, Humans can’t have magic. You have magic. Maybe you’re a new kind of Human, or something Equestrian who thinks he is a Human. The fun is going to be finding out.
“Meanwhile, you need to pay close attention and learn some basic safety. You are coming into magic with full adult strength and that makes you dangerous. Equestrian magic users learn these rules as foals before they have enough strength to do more than break dishes. You could destroy buildings or friends.”
She had my attention then and proceeded to detail the importance of clear target selection and goal definition. I got a lot of advice and suggestions and then I got the riot act. It seems that what I did yesterday was called ‘magic intoxication’ and I was never to do it again.
“It’s not so much that you do immediate harm to yourself though it does affect both judgment and inhibitions, it’s most dangerous when you become dependent on it. Luckily, very few Ponies have enough magic to become addicted but you might, so be careful,” Twilight elucidated.
We poured information into my brain until lunch time. A pizza was the consensus but guess what, it was raining. Spaghetti came in second and it was good until it was time to buckle back down.
I had a request, “Hey, can we move this to the couch? All my intense verticality is needing release. I want to stretch out a little.”
Twilight nodded so I parked myself on the end of the couch and stretched my legs out across the floor. Twilight surprised me and sat down beside me.
“What’s this,” I grinned and asked, “hands on magic lessons?”
She grinned back and replied, “No more magic today. Now we’re going to talk about the other thing you did yesterday.”
Confusion abounded, “What else did I do besides magic?” and Twilight just smiled at me. Oh yeah, “You mean . . . while I was acting silly? You can’t blame me for that. I was intoxicated, you said so.”
Then I turned and looked directly into those big violet eyes and saw the background of pleading in them. Life was suddenly very real. I considered my soul carefully for several minutes before coming to a decision.
Turning to face Twilight squarely, I said, “You want to know exactly what I meant and how serious I am.”
I was rewarded by a slow nod.
I took a deep breath and began, “The best I can describe it is ‘in vino veritas’ though probably not the way you think. When I used my magic to feel good, that’s not all I did. I specified ‘best possible function’ in my goal and it worked. Things that had confused me suddenly made sense. Seemingly unrelated memories linked together into coherent patterns. And then a big revelation hit me. Twilight, I think of you as ‘the one I want to be with’.
“I have memory tags for every Pony I’ve met to help me remember important things about them like AJ the farmer or Rainbow the flier. Yours is ‘the one I want to be with’. I didn’t plan that so I was looking back trying to figure out where it came from. Thinking over things we have talked about, I realized that we have a lot in common, from being ahead of our classes in school to becoming recognized problem solvers. I like talking to you because you ask intelligent questions and give intelligent answers. We follow very similar logical paths when solving problems. And we both read for knowledge.
“So I drew up a mental list and checked the first box, yes we are intellectually compatible.
“Next I considered how much I enjoy being with you. Everything brightens a little when you walk in the room. I look for reasons to be with you like carrying the groceries or helping with research. And that’s when the second big revelation hit me, you have all the same tells. There’s this little smile when I walk into the room. You find me to invite me to go shopping with you or to ask me to help with research. And I know that Ponies fall in love, get married, and make families just like I’m used to.
“Check box two, yes we’re emotionally compatible.
“That’s when I hit a brick wall. The third box is social compatibility. I need to meet your family and friends outside of Ponyville. Humans have customs that guide them in things like that. I not only don’t know the Pony custom but you’re Royal too. And that’s when you walked in the door so I decided to just bare my soul and see what happened. You didn’t disappoint me.
“And you confirmed it for me just now. That’s why I got serious, I can see it in your eyes. You want this as much as I do, so tell me, what do I do to become the stallion that you want and need? What’s my next step?”
But Twilight wasn’t answering, she was crying. Pulling her against my chest, I let her rest her chin on my shoulder and tried to comfort her as she cried quietly. It must have taken thirty minutes or more but she finally calmed down.
In a quiet voice, “You can let me go now, Jack.”
Softly, I replied, “What if I don’t want to?”
The quiet voice returned, “I’ll turn you into a toad.”
Chuckling, I answered, “No you won’t. You’re too nice for that.”
Just to be on the safe side, I loosened my hold enough to let her pull back and face me.
Rubbing her withers and speaking softly, I tried to soothe Twilight, “I’m sorry I upset you, Darling. It was never my intent. Just tell me what I did wrong and I’ll never do it again.”
Dammit, she’s crying again. This time she crawled up in my lap and clung to me so I slouched a little to give her more room and just rubbed her withers and neck until she’d cried herself out. Her breathing became slow and regular and I realized that she’d fallen asleep. After what she’d just been through I was most certainly not going to wake her.
I dozed and drifted until I heard the front door. Spike was back so I waved at him and motioned for silence.
I whispered, “She’s had a really rough day so I don’t want to wake her. Just throw a blanket over us and we’ll see you in the morning.”
Spike nodded and whispered back, “Yeah, she didn’t sleep at all last night so she’s bound to be exhausted.”
Spike brought the blanket then turned out the lights and headed for his own bed. I closed my eyes but didn’t sleep right away, I had a new list of worries to sort.
1/20
As she stared at me from about an inch in front of my nose, Twilight asked, “Jack, why are you in my bed?”
Smiling up, I replied, “I’m not in your bed, Twilight, I am your bed.”
She shook her head and looked around, “Oh. I must have fallen asleep.”
Softly, I said, “Yes you did and you looked so peaceful that I couldn’t bring myself to wake you.”
That earned me a long sensual cheekrub, “Thank you, Jack, thank you very much. I haven’t slept through the night like that in months.”
Noting the increased volume coming from the kitchen, I suggested, “Right now I think we had better get breakfast while there are some usable pans left.”
The blanket quickly lifted, folded, and flew itself up the stairs while Twilight and I scrambled for the kitchen. Waffles were waiting and we dove right in.
Pausing between plates, I reminded Twilight, “You know that we have a serious conversation to finish. Is there anything scheduled for today that would interfere?”
Spike jumped up, “Oh No. If you two are starting that again, I’m going back to Rarity’s,” and finished with a look of disgust.
I put on my best ‘mortally wounded’ face and asked, “Spike, whatever are you upset about?”
Spike continued, “Don’t give me that innocent garbage. I’ve caught both of you sneaking looks. I know what you’re up to.”
Looking shocked, Twilight asked, “What are you talking about, Spike?”
Spike swung on her and, “Just a few days ago Jack was studying a spell book at your desk. You walked in the door behind him and stood there for fifteen minutes just smiling and watching.” Swinging back to me, “And a few hours later Twilight was writing a report and you did exactly the same thing.”
Twilight had turned flaming red but not me, “And please tell me, Spike, what is wrong with admiring a beautiful mare?”
“AAAARRRRGGGG.” Spike growled at me, “Nothing if that was all you did but you want more.”
Smiling, I responded, “Of course I do, Spike. Just watch this.” Taking a deep breath, I launched, “Twilight Sparkle, I am and will always be your friend. Other circumstances may come and may go but that is forever.”
“Thank you, Jack. Do you consider me a close friend?” Twilight asked.
I had to think about that for a minute, “Yes. After living here with you, I can say that you are completely trustworthy so yes, you are welcome to whatever I can offer you.”
Twilight got up and walked around the table to hug and cheekrub me saying, “I’ve felt that, Jack, but it means a lot to me to hear you say it so unequivocally.”
And that was enough for Spike, “Have a nice day, I’m out of here. I’ll finish the dishes tonight.”
As Spike disappeared out the door, Twilight commented, “I am afraid that if we go through with this Spike will have a number of adjustments to make. Right now, we both need a shower so why don’t you go up and get started while I finish the dishes.”
After stopping by my room for clean clothes, I warmed the shower up and got in it. I was just getting fully soaped up when I heard the door and a few seconds later felt something soft against my leg.
With much confusion, “Twilight?”
And she answered, “Yes, Jack. This is your first advanced lesson in Pony social behavior, why Ponies are so social. It’s not just our herd instincts from ancient history, there are practical reasons and you’re about to help me with one of them.”
Twilight extended one of her wings out in front of me and I suddenly realized why Pony bathing facilities are so big. Wings take up a lot of room.
Twilight continued her lecture, “Wings have to be cared for with great diligence and it is very difficult for a Pony to do it by herself. You must always move from leading to trailing edges and from base to tip. That follows the natural ‘grain’ of the feathers, working against it will damage feathers and the only way to heal a feather is to replace it.
“My wings have a natural oil that repels water. Without it, flying into clouds would be a disaster. So use only soap that says ‘safe for wings’ and apply the soap first. Add a little water, lather, then rinse. I’ll take care of drying them myself.”
Yep, showering Twilight was a team effort. She lathered her body and mane and I lathered her wings and tail. It was really nice when she scrubbed my back too. Then we did a big dance around the shower to rinse. And she did dry her wings just like she said. After I turned the water off she gave one big shake and water was everywhere except on her wings. We did the rest of the drying with towels and I got dressed then we headed downstairs.
Twilight stretched out across one end of the couch and motioned for me to sit next to her. When I was settled, she stretched her wing out across my lap and instructed, “This is called preening. Remember base to tip and leading to trailing. Inspect every feather. Anything not a feather gets pulled. Loose feathers get pulled. Broken feathers get pulled. Out of place feathers get back in place or ask me.”
It took a little while but we got both wings done then Twilight stood and stretched them. Folding them back to her sides, Twilight sat down next to me and exclaimed, “Yes! That feels so much better. Thank you, Jack.”
Twilight snuggled against me and made me just as happy as she was but I had to ask, “What I don’t understand is why none of your Pony friends have been doing this for you.”
“Rainbow taught me how to preen and has helped me a few times, but,” she explained as a blush spread across her face, “among Pegasi preening is the second most intimate thing that Ponies can do together. I have bigger wings than any Pegasus but I’m not a stallion so it stresses Rainbow and I can’t disturb her just for my convenience.”
“And all of your other friends are mares too,” I nodded, “Now it makes sense to me. And since I’m an exclusive provider, I may have to negotiate for a better deal.”
A suddenly somber Twilight begged, “Please, Jack, don’t even joke about things like that.”
I spoke tenderly, “We’re getting close to the reason for the crying, aren’t we?” Twilight nodded and I continued, “Please talk to me about it, at the least I can share a little of the burden.”
I could see fear in Twilight’s eyes but she began her explanation, “I have to tell you because it concerns you and could even threaten your life. That’s why it scares me so, I could lose you.
“We’ve spoken about our youths and education but what is different for me is that it got worse as I advanced. My father is a civil servant and my mother is a working writer, both commoners, but they live in a house on the edge of the noble district of Canterlot. That meant that all of the Ponies I had to associate with in and out of school were nobles and they made it very clear that I wasn’t one of them. Then I became Princess Celestia’s personal student and suddenly I had a useful purpose, I could get them access to a Princess. Now I was worth lying to and manipulating.”
I heard the pain in her voice so I just pulled her against my chest and hugged her to me.
After a few minutes she resumed, “When Princess Celestia realized how bad it had become, she sent me to Ponyville with instructions to make friends. I did and things got a lot better but I also became an Element Bearer. That left me with a solid circle of friends and most of the rest of Equestria seeing me as a high risk proposition. Jack, I’ve risked my own life to save Equestria from total destruction. But you never know what I might be capable of if somepony makes me angry,” she finished with a sob.
My opinion of Ponies in general was dropping but I couldn’t let it show. Pulling Twilight against my chest again, I spoke softly, “I know what you’re capable of and I’m not worried at all.”
Twilight pushed back and, looking intently at me, asked, “Do you really know, Jack?”
Looking just as intently at her, I answer, “Yes, I do. Because the answer isn’t in your head or your horn, it’s in your heart.”
Twilight grabbed me and held on like her life depended on it while she cried quietly on my shoulder. I just stroked her mane and withers lightly and waited for it to pass.
After a little while Twilight spoke softly in my ear, “Damn you, Jack. You’re not making this any easier. Every time you open your mouth I see that much more that I have to lose.”
With a small chuckle, I replied, “You worry too much. You are going to be amazed how hard it is to lose me.”
Pushing back again, she asked, “You’re serious, aren’t you?” I nodded so she settled in beside me and started back with her narrative, “Alright, let me tell you what you’re up against. After I earned my wings, I became the most desirable mare in all of Equestria. Would you like to guess how many stallions have come calling?”
That seemed a strange question but I was game, “I’ve been worried about that. I don’t want to rush into things and commit some blunder that would cost me my chance with you but a stallion could show up any day and offer things that I can’t.”
Twilight gave a sour chuckle, “Now you’re the one worrying too much. You’re the first, Jack. In fact, you are the very first stallion outside of my immediate family to ever use that word around me.”
Confused, I asked, “What word?”
In a monotone, she answered, “Love. That’s not to say that there are no stallions that want me, there are forty odd young stallions and I don’t know how many older stallions among the noble families of Canterlot who are absolutely certain that I must pick one of them for my Prince Consort some day. They know that some spring, maybe not this one coming, but soon, the need will drive me to select one of them. All that stallion will have to do for the rest of his life is rut me once a year and he will enjoy all of the wealth, privilege, and political power of a Prince. All I get out of it, if I’m lucky, is a foal.
“I’ve turned down all who have approached me at the various social events in Canterlot and made my feelings clear so now they wait for the need to force me. Until yesterday I had resigned myself to a loveless political marriage and was just delaying the inevitable for as long as possible. That’s why I cried, Jack, you’ve restored a hope that I had thought long lost.”
Feeling sympathetic, I said, “I’ve always known that the Royal lifestyle wasn’t the bed of roses most believe but that is harsh. You deserve far better and maybe I can give it to you.”
Still somber, Twilight continued, “There’s still more you need to understand before you make any commitments. Those forty odd stallions in Canterlot are not going to just let you snatch their golden ticket right out from under their noses. They will harass, threaten, slander, challenge, and maybe even try to assassinate you. I would rather have you as a friend than not at all.”
Thinking out loud, I said, “Harass and threaten are just noise without value. For slander to work, I would have to care. Assassination is always possible but I won’t make it easy. That leaves a challenge. There must be some kind of rules to the challenge or Unicorns would own everything.”
Twilight bowed her head for a few seconds then looked up and answered, “Unicorns can only use magic against other Unicorns. Pegasi can only fly against other Pegasi. If anypony cheats Celestia will punish them.”
I was still thinking, “What about hands? Do they count as an advantage?”
Looking thoughtful, Twilight answered, “They don’t on Minotaurs and Griffin claws are close and accepted so I would say no.”
One more thought, “Is there any limitation on the kind of contest? Could I make it an intellectual challenge?”
“You can do anything the other stallion agrees to but most are going to insist on a physical skills contest like a duel,” Twilight explained.
“Okay, then I’ll just have to make sure he challenges me so in the worst case, I can force him into a wrestling match. Now, what else can I do for you?” I asked.
Twilight broke into a large smile, “You’re going to do it! Alright, I want you to sleep with me whenever I’m here. Last night was the best I’ve slept since I got these wings. You’re good for me and make me feel secure.”
I scratched my head then decided to just go for it, “Okay, but back to the first question, how do we check that box so we can move forward with this relationship?”
Twilight shifted back to lecture mode, “Now that you have some background, we can discuss that intelligently. We are going to date. We will go as a couple to visit my family and friends in Canterlot, we will be seen shopping and eating together in Ponyville and Canterlot, and we will go to social events as a couple.
“My family won’t be a problem, they trust my judgment. You will, of course, get the traditional warnings from my brother and father. My friends won’t be a problem because if they were the kind of Ponies to make problems they wouldn’t be my friends. Some of them may give you their own version of the traditional warning, though.
“Being seen on the streets of Canterlot will be a little tougher. There is a small but real chance that we will meet one of those forty odd stallions and he will do something stupid. But most of them are smart enough not to challenge a complete unknown on the streets. It’s certain that we will meet some of their relatives, mostly mares. They will be rude and worse because when a Pony gains status, their whole family rises with them. That means that you are interfering in their family ambitions.
“The big risk is at the social events. There will be multiple stallions there with their families and friends, all of whom will be egging them on to challenge you. All of them will be at their dirtiest trying to get you to challenge them first so calm and control are essential. Remember that when you are challenged, I cannot help you. You must prove yourself the better stallion by your own merits.”
I smiled at Twilight, “I have no problem with that. My goal is to be worthy of you and they are already proven not to be so I have to be better than any of them.”
Twilight leaned against me and hummed quietly as she rubbed her head against my chest.
“Take your shirt off,” she ordered.
I did and she rubbed herself on my chest and shoulders.
“Lean forward,” she instructed and when I did she rubbed her head on my back.
After several minutes of rubbing, “Okay, you can put your shirt back on.”
Shirt back in place, I stretched out on the couch and Twilight snuggled up against me with a distinctly feline digesting bird kind of smile.
That look kicked my curiosity into high gear, “Alright, that was fun and entertaining but just what was it?”
“We’re going on our first date in just a little bit and I want anypony we meet to know that’s what it is so I’ve marked you with my scent to tell them that you’re mine. Normally that would have been taken care of last night when we slept together but you were wearing clothes,” Twilight explained.
That made sense so I started rubbing my head up and down Twilight’s neck and shoulders. Twilight promptly broke down in uncontrollable giggles.
“Hey, I want them to know that you’re mine too,” I retorted.
And then my brain finally engaged, “Uh, Twilight, I understand that the whole point of this is to tell everypony about us but I think we need to tell a few specific Ponies first, like Rarity. We’re going to need matching outfits. And should we warn Celestia? She’ll be annoyed if I show up in Her Court for fighting with one of those forty and it’s the first She hears about us.”
Twilight was thoughtful for a minute then, “No, She would be sad. If she picked up Her morning paper and saw us on the front page She would be mad. We do need to tell Her first so we’ll draft a letter then go to Rarity’s to have Spike send it. We can discuss clothes while we wait for a reply.”
Official Notice:
This will be your only notice that Twilight and Jack have decided to pursue a relationship and are Dating.
Signed, Jack
“Jack! What are you trying to do?” Twilight huffed. “Have you been playing with magic again?”
“Hey, She’s going to have to make a few adjustments too. Besides, my mama told me that if you can’t be anything else, be funny. That way they’re more likely to forgive you,” I explained.
Twilight sealed the letter and we headed out for Rarity’s. Spike sent the letter then we divided our forces. Twilight and Rarity discussed clothes while I took Spike into the kitchen to break the news to him.
“Want some tea? I could put some together in a few minutes,” Spike asked as I got comfortable at the table.
After a brief thought, “No, we’re on Twilight’s schedule and I don’t know how soon she’ll want to leave.
“What I really want to do is tell you what was in that letter. It was to inform Princess Celestia that Twilight and I are dating now.”
Spike sputtered, “I. . . I. . . I knew it!”
“Calmly, Spike. This is just one of those things that adults do. Look at the Cakes,” I suggested.
But Spike became even more excited, gasping, “Twilight is in foal?!?!” and waving his claw at me.
I chuckled, “No, Spike. Foals are years in the future if ever. Right now we are cautiously exploring the possibilities. Now I’m really glad I didn’t take the tea because you don’t have anything hot to throw at me,” I joked.
Spike glared at me and answered dryly, “Jack, I’m a Dragon. I always have something hot to throw at you.”
I was planning to laugh at that but Spike’s chest started swelling and his cheeks began to puff out. When his mouth opened, I dove under the table. There was a bright flash and a small roar then Twilight and Rarity came hurrying into the room. I cautiously peered over the edge of the table and beheld Spike calmly reading a letter.
“Out loud, Spike, out loud,” Twilight exclaimed. “The rest of us want to know too.”
Spike obliged, “One side is signed by Jack and I’m guessing is the letter I sent earlier. The other side says, ‘Thank you very much for the timely warning. Massive quantities of popcorn and facial tissue have been commissioned. Your expectant audience, H.R.M. Celestia’.”
The mares went back to their huddle and I resumed my mission with Spike, “Spike, the part I really came here to talk about is that I am going to be sleeping with Twilight. We’re going to move the big bed into Twilight’s room after lunch. That makes my room available if you want it. I can easily have all my stuff out before you get home then you and I can move your stuff in tonight.”
I very carefully did not mention that if he stayed where he was, in a basket next to Twilight's bed, he was going to be listening to me and Twilight being affectionate for hours some nights. I really didn’t want to sound like I was throwing him out but I think we would all be way more comfortable if he took the opportunity.
Spike was looking a little shocked so I sweetened the deal, “I’d look at it as a step towards adulthood, your very own room.”
That did it. His eyes lit up and a smile stretched his face as he contemplated a whole room of his very own.
Twilight walked in and remarked, “Spike certainly looks happy. Are you ready to go?”
“Yes and yes. Every young male in existence dreams of his own cave/den. And I’m hungry,” I answered
For lunch we went to Mad Pizza (‘We’ll put anything on a pizza.’) and I ordered the Mad Veggie (without peppers). Twilight decided on the Flower Special and we settled on a quiet table in the back. I did notice a couple of double takes and a bro poke when we sat on the same side of the table but nothing too dramatic.
We were leaning on each other and being quietly giddy when everypony’s favorite poly-chromatic Pegasus walked in. She waved at us and turned towards the counter to order. She almost made it too. Two steps short of her destination, she made a sudden right turn and came straight to us.
Stopping across the table, a very disturbed Rainbow Dash asked, “Twilight, what’s going on?”
Twilight smiled shyly at Rainbow and said, “It’s a date.”
Rainbow’s mouth opened but no sound came out. Instead she pointed back and forth between me and Twilight with a wingtip. Twilight just grinned and nodded her head.
I suggested, “Why don’t you go order your pizza. We’ll still be dating when you get back.”
Rainbow took my advice and, as luck would have it, got back to the table about ten seconds after our pizzas. After nearly a minute of her staring at my pizza and licking her lips, I asked, “What kind of pizza did you order?”
Rainbow answered, “My personal special. It’s all beans and grains for protein and carbs.”
“Okay, that’ll work. You can have half of my pizza if I can have half of yours.” And when I looked down, half of my pizza was missing.
With the edge taken off her hunger, Rainbow fell back to her first fascination, “So, uh, Twilight, you and Jack, I mean, really and truly, you’re dating?”
Twilight just smiled broadly and nodded.
Rainbow peered intently across the table at Twilight, “You’re serious?”
Twilight nodded again and continued trying to eat her pizza. I felt sympathy for Twilight and maybe a touch of spite towards Rainbow so, “Rainbow, we’re as serious as it gets.”
Rainbow leaned on the table and brought her full attention to bear on me, “And just how serious is that?”
I worked at looking thoughtful, “Well, you know that there’s never been a Pony/Human coupling before? And one of us is a Princess too. So we’re having to take careful steps and document everything for Princess Celestia.”
Rainbow seemed disappointed, “So this is your first step?”
Hooked! I began reeling her in, “Oh no. We’ve been working at this for a little bit. There have been some long talks and a little fun. We just came from ordering matching clothes.”
Rainbow crept closer and activated sly mode, “You say a little fun, what kind of fun?”
Nonchalantly, I replied, “Oh, we cuddle a lot and have slept together. This morning we preened. I have to admit that I really like wings.”
That seemed to excite Rainbow but she was on a scent, “So, are you thinking about something permanent?”
“Look,” I explained, “It’s one step at a time. We’ve proven that Ponies and Humans can co-exist, co-operate, and are in the final stages of cohabitate.” Twilight had vanished but I had an idea where to by the choking sounds coming from under the table. I continued, “Tonight we are going to put our mattresses together so we have plenty of room when we cop . . . What’s that, Twilight?”
I leaned over and winked at Twilight sitting on the floor with her hooves stuffed in her mouth, “You say to invite Rainbow? Okay.”
Straightening up, I found Rainbow stretched across the table with her wings fluffed and vibrating, “Twilight says you should join us tonight. I think you should too. Your wings are a mess and we could do them for you while we are all stretched out on the mattress.” But I was talking to a chromatic afterimage leading out the door and up into the skies.
Leaning over, “It’s safe to come out now. Rainbow has left the building,” and I pulled Twilight back up to the seat beside me. “I know you said Rainbow was ticklish about her wings but I didn’t think it would be that big a deal if we teamed up on her as a social break from copying and collating our notes.”
For some reason the two Pegasi at the next table over (they’d been the bro-poke when we came in) were suddenly rolling on the floor laughing.
I've negotiated a drawer in Twilight's desk and am writing this up in the bedroom while she writes her report to Celestia downstairs. It's starting to hit me just how many big steps I've taken this week. So much has happened that I’ve had to work to get it all down before I forget something. I found my magic! I can’t do much but look at it but that is a step. And I think I’m in love! With a Pony, of course, but I don’t care. It’s the gentle soul and powerful intellect that attract me. Best of all, I’m pretty sure she loves me too! But I’m still adjusting to Pony ways. We’ve been physically intimate and haven’t even thought of sex. The prospect of spending this night in bed with Twilight fills me with a drive to keep her safe and comfortable though there may some explanation needed in the morning.
Author's Note
This will be the last update for a few weeks. I have multiple high level doctors appointments scattered through the holidays so even when I'm available, I might be less than alert. Don't worry, there are chapters ready for the new year.
Jack's Journal (Chapter 4)
Author's Note
We got lucky. I lost too much weight so the doctors shuffled appointments to adjust meds etc. That created a free week for me with a somewhat improved physical/mental state. You get a chapter early.
The numerous scans and probes still await so there will be more delays but I'll slip chapters out as I can.
Jack's Journal (Chapter 4)
2/2
But dating in Ponyville could never be anything but entry level for a stallion wanting a relationship with a Princess. Canterlot and the rest of the world lay ahead of us.
It was my first time on a Pony train and it was interesting. We could have taken several faster and more comfortable means but our goal was to be seen so we went where the seeing public was. What we got was a chance to share a car with Miss Cheerilee and her class of foals. They were on their way to a museum tour and were quite pleased to find that their train ticket came with entertainment.
They lined up neatly and bowed or curtsied properly then the questions started, “Are you going to Canterlot to see Princess Celestia?”
Twilight smiled and answered, “No, we are going to meet some friends for lunch.”
A wide eyed Colt exclaimed, “Wow. You’re going all the way to Canterlot to eat lunch?”
Twilight chuckled and, “No, we are going all the way to Canterlot to meet two friends that flew in from Cloudsdale for business because Canterlot is a lot easier to get to than Cloudsdale.”
A safety yellow colored (the most appropriately hued Pony ever) Pegasus filly said, “It’s a date, Silly. Rainbow told me they were dating.”
Putting a finger to my lips, I said, “SHhh! It’s a secret.”
Sixteen pairs of juvenile eyes opened wide and focused on me, “Really?” they chorused.
I smiled and in a hushed tone, “Scootaloo is right and I bet Sweetie Belle knows too.”
Fifteen pairs of eyes took aim on the sixteenth. Sweetie Belle shouted, “Don’t blame me. All I know is that they ordered matching outfits for the Gala from Rarity.”
Even the three adults at the other end of the car sighed at that one. Eventually the gentle swaying and steady clickity clack had its way and all the foals found comfortable places to curl up and nap.
Twilight leaned on me and snuggled so I slid a little lower and her head fit nicely on my shoulder. It’s kinda strange how two so differently shaped bodies can fit together so comfortably. I’m taking that as an omen.
As we left the train station bound for downtown Canterlot I noticed that most Ponies were carefully ignoring us. It was a change from Ponyville where it could take hours to get across town for all of the greetings and conversations. Most of the Ponies that did acknowledge us made a short bow to Twilight and moved on. But there were a select few that apparently didn’t like one of us at all. In Ponyville fear and curiosity would battle it out when something as strange as me surprised a Pony but disgust never happened. In Canterlot it did.
The foals made up for it. To them, I was a one Human parade. They all had two things, questions and those big curious eyes. After a while we made it to an upscale district with hotels and numerous restaurants.
The signs in front of the restaurants all had little pictographs on them so I asked Twilight what they meant. She explained, “Those are the races they cater to, Pony, Hippogriff, and Griffon. If you want meat, ask for a Griffon menu or Hippogriff for fish.”
Twilight steered us to one of the largest and nicest places on the street, one with all three races on its sign. The maitre d’ bowed to Twilight and raised an eyebrow to me, “Welcome to the Silver Unicorn. How may we serve Your Majesty?”
Twilight replied, “We’re here to meet with Captain Spitfire.”
The maitre d’ said, “This way, Your Majesty,” and led us to a large table near the window where a pair of athletic Pegasi waited.
Twilight quickly pushed the two pads together then I held her hoof as she settled on one. I sat cross legged on the other close enough that she could lean on me if she wanted. She started to introduce me but I beat her to it, “I am absolutely sure that anypony with a mane like that must have ‘fire’ in their name so you are Spitfire.” Spitfire laughed and nodded her head so I continued, “And that would make that temporarily parked piece of sky over there Soarin’.”
Soarin’ chortled, “Got it in one! I’m impressed, almost nopony recognizes us without the uniforms.”
I grinned back at him, “I’m Jack, Ponyville’s resident Human and I cheated. I’m friends with Rainbow Dash so I know about half of your life story whether I planned to or not.” Everypony laughed at that.
Our server, a forest green Unicorn mare, approached followed by a cloud of menus. She dropped a menu each in front of Twilight, Spitfire, and Soarin’ then looked at me. I had to think for a second then said, “Hippogriff.”
She dropped a menu in front of me then started around again, “What would you like to drink, Your Majesty?”
When she got around to me, I pointed at Twilight and said, “I’ll have what she’s having.”
After the server left, Soarin’ started laughing. I grinned at him, “Hey, I haven’t learned all the Pony names for teas but I know I like the same teas she likes.” Spitfire laughed too.
We all studied our menus and I found what I wanted right away. The others quickly followed suit and small talk sprung up while we waited for our server to return.
Soarin’ asked, “So you’re a fish eater?”
“Not exactly. I’m just in a seafood mood today. I can be happy with most of what is on all three menus,” I explained.
“That must be useful,” Spitfire commented. “It’s not always easy to get the kind of high energy diet we need when we’re performing.”
“Yes,” I replied, “I’ve wondered about that. I know enough aerodynamics to be sure that it takes a lot of energy to do the kind of flying you guys do.”
“They have Pegasus magic and their talent to boost their strength too,” Twilight suggested.
Spitfire continued the list, “And technique. And training. Hey, I’m curious, Jack, what’s your talent?”
Twilight was suddenly interested in something on the other side of the room so I motioned Spitfire and Soarin’ to lean in as I explained in a conspiratorial tone, “Don’t tell anypony but the universal Human talent is adaptability. Just like I can eat almost anything, I can find a way to do almost anything if I just work at it.”
Spitfire was confused but Soarin’ was downright incredulous, “All right. What’s your cutie?”
I shouldn’t enjoy this so much but I did, “I don’t have one. Humans don’t have cutie marks because we’re universal.”
I was trying to make up my mind which Human aircraft I wanted to use as an example of how a race without wings could fly when Twilight nudged me lightly. The maitre d’ was approaching with a very concerned look on his face.
“I’m very sorry, Your Majesty, but there has been a complaint. The management requests that you take your whatever he is outside,” he spoke nervously.
I touched Twilight lightly to reassure her and she was so tense she felt like she was made of rock. Uh oh.
Leaning over, I whispered in her ear, “Let me handle it. I have to sooner or later anyway.” She gave the smallest of nods so I confronted the foolish Pony, “Sir, if you have a problem with me, address it to me.”
That was clearly not the response that he had expected but he soldiered on, “Please, sir, I have been instructed to bar all unrecognized races from the dining area.”
I smiled broadly at him, “Then we have no problem. You may not recognize me but I am a full citizen of Equestria, welcomed and granted that status by Princess Celestia Herself. Go inform the management and let us get on with ordering.”
He went but our server didn’t come back so we stewed and planned. Eventually I spotted him coming our way. There was a fairly dense lunch rush in progress and most of the diners seemed aware that something was going wrong at the Princess’s table. The normal background hum muted as he approached our table.
Sweating profusely, he addressed me, “Sir, I have been instructed to tell you that she does not believe you and the order stands.”
Speaking very softly, I asked, “And ‘she’ is the owner?” He nodded slowly. I continued, “And it’s your job if you don’t?” He nodded again. So I stood and trotted out my best public speaking voice, “Mares and stallions, a moment of your time please.”
The place got quiet and I swear that I could see a couple of Ponies taking notes. Continuing, “I am Jack and I am here on a date with Princess Twilight. I was welcomed to Equestria by Princess Celestia and granted full citizenship. The owner of this restaurant is aware of these facts and has still chosen to refuse me service as a sub-equine being. It doesn’t bother me personally because I wouldn’t trust food served by anypony like that but I am quite annoyed that they have chosen to gainsay some Ponies that I respect.
“So I am invoking a Human tradition. It’s called ‘voting with your feet’. I’m going to walk out and find a decent meal elsewhere and I request that every Pony who respects the Princesses come with me. And tell all of your friends.”
I offered my hand to Twilight to help her to her feet but by the time we were turning to go Spitfire had her front feet on the table and was speaking, “I’m Captain Spitfire of the Wonderbolts and I just want to say that this establishment has seen its last Wonderbolt.”
We had made it out the door and to the middle of the street when we hit a snag. There were restaurants everywhere we looked but none of them were the kind that took walk-ups during the lunch rush. Spitfire could do a little casual persuasion and get us into some of them but her chain of command was already going to be questioning her effect on the Wonderbolts’ image. Twilight could easily walk in and clear a restaurant so we could have a private party but that is simply not something that the Twilight we all know and love would ever do without a much better reason. The crowd from the restaurant we had left was beginning to pile up behind us when the solution walked up from an unexpected direction.
“Your Majesty? Sir? May I offer a small suggestion?” It was the maitre d’ from the restaurant, “I am no longer employed at that establishment so I am free to speak my mind. I think I know of a place where you could find a decent meal without the complications of the places around us.”
Twilight and I exchanged ‘you’ve got to be kidding me’ looks then she asked, “Let's start with, what’s your name?”
“Steward Big, Your Majesty,” And he bowed.
“I could tell that you weren’t entirely on board with your boss’s orders,” I noted, “but did you quit in protest?”
“Why don’t we go this way,” he pointed with his horn, “and I’ll explain as we walk.”
The crowd spilling out the door of the restaurant was beginning to overflow the sidewalk behind us so we took his suggestion.
Spitfire asked, “Where are we going?”
Steward explained, “My sister and brother-in-law have a small restaurant just around the first corner up there. They started out cooking for the banquet hall next door and have the keys to it if we need extra tables.”
I looked back and decided that this was an ideal solution because most of the crowd was following us.
“You still owe me an explanation,” I reminded him.
“It was a steady job and it paid well,” he began, “but, Noble Sneer, the owner, is a pain to work for. Her high society friends and family can do no wrong and even if they did, she would find somepony else to blame. With that in mind, the only way she could keep her place open after a blunder of that scale is to find a scapegoat to carry the blame for her. I’ll give you one guess who was first in line for that position.”
I nodded and he continued, “My sister has been begging me to come work with them and I don’t see any point in standing around taking Noble’s abuse just so she can keep her restaurant and I can be blackballed. Now I can honestly say that I quit in protest and have a good chance that Ponies will believe me, especially if I’m seen with the offended parties afterward.”
Soarin’ and I grinned at each other and I replied, “That’s a wee bit mercenary but I’ll take an honest mercenary over a closet bigot any day.”
He grinned back and said, “We need to take a right at this intersection.”
We did and I noticed that Twilight seemed to be brooding some. An inquisitive look brought me the answer, “Jack, Noble Sneer is Prince Blueblood’s aunt. He’s going to really hate you now.”
At the next corner we turned right again then a short walk later we stopped at a door with a picture of a blue Pegasus painted on the window. Opening the door, Steward strode in loudly announcing, “Wake up, Sis. I bring patrons.”
A yellowish green Unicorn shot up from behind a table in the back of the room and exclaimed, “Steward Big! What in Equestria are you doing here and in the middle of the lunch rush?”
“Your Majesty, this is Musa Verde, my little sister,” he made introductions, “If you see a blue streak fly by that will be my niece, Azure Comet. That’s her picture on the door. And hiding in the kitchen is my brother-in-law Silver Platter.
“Silver, get your substantial fundament out here and bring your keys. We need the big room.”
A bulky Unicorn colored shining gold walked in through a back door, did a double take, bowed to Twilight, and trotted over to a large double door in the side wall. As soon as it was opened Steward motioned the four of us toward the other side of the room we were in and began directing the crowd past us and into the large room next door.
A very bemused Silver inquired, “Steward, what have you done now?”
Steward was busy so I answered, “Actually, I started it. I’m Jack and I came to Canterlot with Princess Twilight to meet her friends. The owner of the Silver Unicorn refused to serve me saying that I am an ‘unrecognized race’. I replied that I had been granted full citizenship by Princess Celestia Herself and was here on a date with Princess Twilight which made me recognized. She called me a liar with Twilight sitting right there next to me. I kinda went off on her with poor Steward caught between us.”
When I stopped, Soarin’ took over, “It was impressive. He just stood up and announced that he wouldn’t want food from anypony that insulted a Princess like that and invited everypony in the place to walk out with him. Then she,” pointing at Spitfire with a wing, “stood up on the table and declared that the place would never see another Wonderbolt.
“That did it. When we walked out the entire place followed us. We were standing in the street trying to think of a place that would take walk-ups for lunch when Steward came from up the street and offered to show us a place. I guess he went out the back door instead of fighting the crowd.”
Silver was shocked, “Like, WOW! The old bag really called a Princess a liar to Her face? I see why Steward left. The Sneer might have enough money to keep the place open but it won’t see any patrons besides her family for the next century. I’ll bet most of the staff has already quit.”
Musa shouted, “Comet! Menus.” over her shoulder then guided the four of us over to a large table near the wall. A blue Pegasus filly with what looked like shelves strapped to her back came zipping out of the kitchen. Musa took a couple of menus off of one of the shelves and passed them to us. Comet quickly left a menu on each of the tables to either side of us and flew off to follow the crowd.
Musa was apologizing to us for having to share menus as a pair of athletic stallions stationed themselves at each of the tables beside us. Musa was confused, Twilight was annoyed, and Spitfire, Soarin’, and I were amused.
Spitfire laughed, “Wait until the paparazzi start bidding for the remaining tables.”
“Wait a minute,” I asked, “Are they really that bad?”
Soarin’ exclaimed, “Jack, they’re that bad for us. It’s got to be worse for a Princess.”
I glanced at the menu and quickly found what I was looking for. Passing it to Twilight, I noted, “They seem to have most of the same things but are not divided into separate pages.”
Spitfire agreed, “Yes, and I like it better this way. I can order a fish entree and a veggie side without juggling menus.”
“What would you like to drink, Your Majesty?” Musa asked.
Twilight was still lost in the menu so I answered, “We’ll both have a light, sweet tea.”
Soarin’ and Spitfire chorused, “Same.”
Musa was looking expectantly at Twilight but she was still lost in the menu so I ordered, “I’ll have the shrimp spaghetti with garlic sauce and cheese. Extra garlic sauce and cheese on the side and a small veggie salad with no hay or dressing.”
Spitfire and Soarin’ exchanged glances then Spitfire ordered, “A large tuna salad with oat dressing for each of us, please.”
Now we’re all looking at Twilight and she’s still looking at the menu so I leaned toward her and said, “You know, I bet this is why they break the menus into individual pages. There are Ponies that can’t make a decision until they have carefully considered every possible alternative.”
Some part of that must have made it through because Twilight scowled at me and ordered, “I want a large special salad with cream dressing and a light, sweet tea.”
Musa rushed for the kitchen while Spitfire and Soarin’ openly laughed.
Twilight switched her scowl to them and asked, “Did I miss something?
Spitfire replied, “I think we missed a ceremony. You two are acting married already.”
I explained, “We’ve been living in very close proximity in the library for a while now. We decided to go ahead with this when we realized how intertwined our lives were and well we meshed. That’s why I can order tea for her and would have ordered the salad too if she hadn't come out of it.”
Twilight blushed and smiled up at me, “He just naturally takes care of me. I’m thinking about hiring him full time.”
I smiled back then leaned over and kissed her lightly on the nose, “And I’m holding out for a lifetime contract.”
I think about half of the restaurant let out a big sigh at that point. Twilight just blushed deeper and I just smiled wider.
About then the small blue Pegasus came flying out of the kitchen door, banked hard right, and made a perfect landing next to our table. She set four cups and a pitcher full of tea on the table and zipped back toward the kitchen.
While Twilight poured the tea, I grinned and suggested, “Hey, Soarin’. You need to keep an eye on that one. She’s flying all day wearing a pack saddle with tiers and carrying liquids in tight quarters at speed. She’s got some potential.”
Spitfire spoke up, “Recruiting is my job. He’ll recruit her alright but not for a Wonderbolt.”
Soarin’ smiled and the rest of us laughed but I had a question nagging me, “Is it me or are most Pegasi blue? If anypony would know it would be you guys.”
Soarin’ grinned and nodded it off to Spitfire who replied. “Think about it. If you were a warrior that mostly worked in or from the sky, what color would you want to be? And that goes all the way back to fighting off Griffons and Dragons to keep them from eating us.”
“That makes sense,” I responded.
Twilight added, “There is also some linkage between a blue coat and stronger Pegasus magic. Look at Rainbow.”
“Interesting,” I responded. “The more I learn about Ponies, the more I want to learn.”
Spitfire baited me, “Come on, Jack. Surely there must be as many strange and exciting things about humans.”
“Of course,” I answered, “But that is old news to me. Ponies are new and exciting.”
“Okay, let's make a deal, a question for a question,” Spitfire returned. “We’ll answer a Pony question for every Human question you answer.”
“Certainly. Full truth, absolutely any question. And since you’ve answered a Pony question, it’s your turn to ask,” I agreed.
Soarin’ jumped right in with all four feet, “Are there any Human tribes that fly?”
“First, here’s a free background answer,” I detailed, “By Pony standards there is only one tribe and one race of Humans. The only difference between any of us is color and that’s across a much smaller spectrum than Ponies. On your question, all humans fly. They just use technology to do it instead of magic.”
I expected some confusion and Soarin’ didn’t disappoint me. He stretched out a wing slightly and looked pointedly at it then craned his neck like he was looking at my back.
I elaborated, “You couldn’t fly on Earth if you had Celestia’s wings. The undeniable laws of physics on Earth say so. It takes a lot of wing and a lot of brute force to get off the ground there. A human with that much wing couldn’t fit through any door smaller than warehouse sized. So we use technology that we can wear or ride and leave it behind when we want to do anything but fly.”
Soarin’ nodded so I moved on, “I have a flying question, do Pegasi have a ‘mile high club’?” That was met with bafflement so I added, “High altitude love.”
They both laughed and Spitfire answered, “Of course, it’s the best kind. Clouds are pretty nice too.”
Soarin’ added, “Griffons are the same but be careful around them. When they get excited they sometimes forget if they are loving or fighting.”
“I’ve known some Humans like that,” I acknowledged. “They got married so they wouldn’t have to look for sparring partners.”
The little blue filly swooped in about then and deposited napkins and silverware in front of everyone but me. “What style, sir?” she asked.
I smiled and replied, “Unicorn.” Wiggling my fingers I added, “At close range these are as good as magic.”
She left me the same kind as Twilight and zipped off to see to our security team.
Spitfire was still curious, “How fast can Humans go with this technology?”
“Weeeeellll, it depends,” I began. “The small wearable devices I mentioned earlier are pure gliders and designed to go slow. Their main purpose is to get from altitude to ground without injury for fun or for places where the larger flying machine can’t land like in the woods or on water. The powered machines come in sizes from chariot to theater. A lot of the smaller ones can easily break the sound barrier and so can a few of the big ones.”
Soarin’ was looking at me like I’d gone a little mad, “Theater sized?”
I nodded, “Seats nearly a thousand with food and entertainment as they fly literally around the world.”
Comet came sailing out of the kitchen flying a little slower than usual. Landing gently beside our table, she took a large spatula looking tool off the side of her saddle and carefully placed our food in front of each of us and zipped back to the kitchen.
I poured the extra cheese and garlic sauce over my salad and got busy.
Taking a short break between courses, I poured myself another cup of tea and regarded the two Pegasi across the table, “This isn’t part of the game but I have a personal question for you two. I want to know what is the best preening balm and where do you get it?”
Twilight coughed and choked briefly while Spitfire and Soarin’ gave each other ‘significant looks’ then burst out laughing. Twilight grabbed me and, “Jaaaack!”
“Whaaat?” I parroted. “If I’m going to be part of Team Twilight and keep you in tip top shape, I need every tool that I can find and if anypony in Equestria has the right answer it’s these two.”
Spitfire sobered and addressed Twilight, “You should be thankful. Do you have any idea how hard it is to find a non-feathered stallion willing to preen? And you have one that’s not only willing but eager to do it right.
“And Jack, the best brand is ‘Five Feathers’. It should be available at any apothecary or beauty supply. Be careful not to use too much. The goal is just enough to put a light sheen on the feathers so that they slide together easily and seal into a flexible aerodynamic surface.”
Soarin’ had a contribution too, “The best ‘preening oil’ is sitting right in front of us. It’s why the fish menu is named after the most feathered of all the tribes. Her body will use the oil from fish to make her own natural oil. See to it that she eats enough fish and she’ll stay shiny and happy. And just in case, while you’re at the apothecary get some fish oil capsules. A few of them will fix a dull wing in a day.”
I’d got what I wanted but Twilight was quietly grumbling, “I. Don’t. Like. Fish. I. Don’t. Like. Fish.”
The shrimp and spaghetti was magnificent and all the more impressive because it was made during a surprise rush of epic proportions.
“I am coming back here,” I announced.
Soarin’ added, “Me too.”
Spitfire nodded, “Oh hell yes. With the extra room this place is ideal. We could fit all the ‘bolts, and auxiliaries, and staff at the same time while maintaining security. I see a contract in somepony’s future.
“Hey, what are you guys doing with the rest of today? We plan to shop then check out what’s going on at the Pony Stone. There’s a rumor that somepony big is going to try out a new piece tonight. We’d love to have you two along.”
Twilight turned to me, “How about it, Jack. It’s a great chance to see Canterlot.”
“Sure,” I enthused, “As soon as somepony tells me what a ‘Pony Stone’ is.”
Soarin’ explained, “It’s a natural rock stage that was discovered when they were building Canterlot. It has some kind of innate magic that gives it perfect acoustics. They built a park with a grass amphitheater around it and it’s become the place for performing Ponies to go to try out new acts or compositions. There’s no schedule or charge but sometimes wonderful things happen there.”
The mares put their heads together and began laying out a detailed shopping itinerary while Soarin’ and I debated the possibilities of powered flight. I think he wants a motor he can hitch himself to and fly cross country without burning his own energy.
When the mares were satisfied with their plan, it was time to leave. I reached in my pocket and left a single gold coin in the center of the table. Twilight looked at me curiously so I explained, “I called this mess down on them and they met it with grace and style. I owe them at least that.”
Soarin’ grinned and added a gold coin of his own, “We helped. And you are right.”
Twilight and Spitfire moved with a purpose, leading Soarin’ and I out the door. Just as we reached the street, a teenage ‘whoop!’ sounded behind us. Soarin’ grinned at me and pointed back with a wingtip, “And that is what makes it all worthwhile.”
We marched across Canterlot in a large arc with zigzag variations. Every kind and size of store imaginable was somewhere on our route but what made it really interesting was seeing the Princess in Twilight come out for the first time. Ponyville is home and everypony is family. Formalities only happen on official occasions or with lost strangers. In Canterlot there are clear class divisions and penalties for failing to observe them.
Spitfire was having fun. Technically she’s a military officer and a commoner but out of uniform all anypony sees is a strong mare with an air of authority and a Princess treating her as an equal. When in doubt, bow.
Then Twilight started pulling me into the game. Clever mare, before then I was just an escort, now she’s asking my approval and the salesponies are getting nervous. When she called me ‘darling’, they all snapped to attention. It was fun to watch so I played along and investigated the many strange offerings in a Pony boutique.
Lo and behold, I found something I could use, socks. Of course they came in quads instead of pairs but that’s just two pairs in one color to me. I had picked out four colors for variety when I discovered the plaids. And they even had some with heavy purple themes and fancy decorations so I got two quads of them. The filly waiting on me developed a sly grin when I told her I wanted the socks paid for and wrapped separately. She took me to a counter away from everypony else and took my cash then fairly pranced over to the pile that Twilight was accumulating and placed my wrapped bundle in the middle of it.
Twilight gave me a questioning look but kept examining cloaks. The salesfilly that had waited on me had a whispered conversation with one of the fillies waiting on Twilight then we had two bouncing grinning salesfillies. Then three. Then four. Shortly all of them were grinning and looking back and forth between me and Twilight. Twilight was trying not to laugh herself, “What have you done, Jack?”
I shrugged, “I dunno. I just found something I like and want to surprise you with tonight so I bought it and had it wrapped.”
That set all the salesfillies to twittering and giggling.
Soarin’ stepped over to me and whispered, “Don’t tell me you bought her socks?”
When I nodded, he stepped back and saluted me, “You’re a brave stallion, Jack”
The package quietly floated over to Twilight and disappeared into her personal hiding place. “We’ll open it together, Jack,” and she smiled happily at me.
By then I had figured out that I had tripped over some cultural thing but the results were not what I expected. Some salesstallions spouted out from nowhere and escorted me to the stallion’s department and started showing me formal wear. Soarin’ just stood there watching and snickering. After about ten minutes I managed to communicate to them that I had a source of formal wear at home that would already fit me and did not need to be re-tailored. I did find a Minotaur bathrobe that suited me.
We surveyed a broad selection of stallion accessories that I didn’t even recognize but Soarin’ found a gold chain that he liked. I took his advice on a cologne that he said Twilight would like. And Soarin’ did ask about preening balm.
“It’s not like you could get any more notorious after buying socks, but,” he relayed, “they don’t have it.”
The mares caught up with us, my robe and cologne disappeared wherever Twilight’s stuff had gone, and we were off to the next store. It was a jewelry store and it had a ring that would be perfect for what I had in mind but there was no way that I was buying it with Twilight in the store after what I was beginning to call ‘the socks incident’. There seemed to be some sort of backdoor telegraph going on anyway. I was getting bowed to and addressed as ‘Sire’ with an occasional ‘Your Majesty’ wherever we went and Soarin’ was adding to it every chance he found. I had my revenge, though. Every time there was a Pegasus in the store I would ask him Wonderbolt questions loudly.
In other words, we were having a lot of fun and I was getting a lot of education on Pony society while Pony society was left with no doubts that Jack and Twilight were an item. But the sun was getting low and we had another appointment so we changed course.
There was a crowd gathering at the park. Our ‘discreet’ security suddenly materialized around us and the crowd parted. I spotted a well placed tree near the top of the hill overlooking the stage and we all settled in there. I leaned back against the tree while Twilight curled up with her shoulder against my thigh. Spitfire and Soarin’ lined up on the other side of me and our Guardsponies took the points of the compass around us. There were several pleasant but not spectacular performers for us to enjoy then the street lights came on. In the new illumination I spotted a familiar Pony with a familiar burden.
“Hey, Twilight, look there,” I pointed, “is that who I think it is?”
She craned her neck but, “I can’t see. Who do you think it is?”
So I lifted her and set her front legs across my legs so her head was close to mine and pointed, “Right there, in the line of performers.”
“That’s Octavia Melody,”she exclaimed, “with her cello.”
“That’s what I thought,” I said. “I believe the night’s special event has arrived,” to the rest of our group.
Spitfire stood up and put her head next to the other side of mine and asked, “Where?”
I pointed and said, “Right there in the line. See the Earth Pony with the big case? That’s Octavia Melody. If she’s here, we are about to be treated to something beautiful.”
“Okay, I see her,” Spitfire replied. “Now who is she?”
“She’s one of our neighbors in Ponyville,” I explained. “That big case is her cello. She plays for fun in the Ponyville park and professionally with the Royal Orchestra. She’s what good wants to be when it grows up.”
Twilight showed no inclination at all to get back down off of me and Spitfire was still leaning against my other side so I was trapped, pinned in place by two strong mares. I was forced to endure this indignity while Soarin’ chuckled in the background, “I’m taking you bar hopping some night soon. You look like an ideal wingpony to me.” Twilight growled at him and we all laughed, even some of the security Ponies.
A few fairly talented Ponies crossed the stage in front of us until finally it was Octavia’s turn. The park grew silent as she checked over her cello. Then she began. I knew that song. I couldn’t put a name to it and the words were at the edge of my memory but it had a meaning that I recognized. It was about young lovers and things that conspired against them. I felt a vibration in my chest and realized that I was humming along. On the next stanza Twilight joined in.
Too soon it was over but this feeling that it had a special meaning for me and Twilight persisted. Octavia was putting her cello away and I had no chance of dragging Twilight’s entourage through the crowd fast enough to catch her but it didn’t matter. I’d catch her in Ponyville soon enough.
But I had to ask, “Twilight, do you know the name or lyrics for that song?”
Twilight blinked, “Don’t you? You were the one singing it. It was too low for me to understand the words but you were definitely right in time with Octavia.”
“Now I’m really confused,” I replied. “I was just humming but you were singing real low. . . I think? We’ll have to ask Octavia about it after we get back to Ponyville. Speaking of which, how late does that train run?”
Spitfire stood up, stretched, and pronounced, “Oh no, you’re coming with us. We have a large room reserved and Twilight has agreed.”
“Oh?” I questioned, “Are you sure you want to sleep in the same room as the big scary interdimensional alien?”
Laughing, Spitfire said, “If Twilight can control you, I know I can.”
Smiling, I remarked, “Twilight whipped Discord and Nightmare Moon both. Could you do that?”
Twilight was shaking so hard trying not to laugh that she was making my voice tremble and Soarin’ wasn’t even trying to keep quiet.
“Twilight will be there to keep you under control,” Spitfire declared, “Let’s go.”
So we lined our parade up and struck out for the hotel. It turned out to be the J W Mareiott just a block from the castle. Spitfire had reserved a suite on the top floor and I got some entertainment out of watching the winged Ponies walk up the stairs because I couldn’t just fly to the balcony. And it was a really nice suite with a bar, kitchenette, and a huge bedroom. With just one huge bed.
I sat on the couch and thought about that for a bit. Twilight has dumped a lot of culture shock on me for one day. And the day wasn’t over yet.
“Come on, Jack,” Spitfire piped up, “get comfortable. I want to see what Twilight‘s claiming for herself. I might even want to give her a little competition.”
I looked at Twilight sitting on the other end of the couch and she nodded so I started pulling my shoes and socks off.
“You’re wearing socks!” Spitfire squeaked.
I finished pulling them off and set my shoes off to the side before explaining, “I wear socks and shoes all the time when I’m outside.” holding a foot up and wiggling my toes, “Take note. No hoof and no fur. Soft naked feet need protection. Now could somepony tell me why socks are such a big deal?”
Twilight was just sitting there smiling. That sneaky mare knew this was coming, she’s watched me put on shoes and socks since I got here. Spitfire was still sputtering but Soarin’ was ready, “Jack, socks are what a stallion or mare buys when they want to spice up their sex life. If they really want to go for maximum effect, they get stockings with garters, though some say that it gives her a whorsey look.”
“Now it makes sense,” I exclaimed, “That’s why those fillies went all giggly. Soarin’! You could have said something, you know.”
“And miss the show?” Soarin’ snickered.
That’s when I became aware of the sound of paper tearing. Looking back toward Twilight, I saw my wrapped purchase coming apart in the grasp of Twilight’s magic.
“Twilight! Don’t you think that would be better opened in Ponyville?” I blurted out.
Smiling sweetly, Twilight said, “But Jack, you said you wanted to surprise me with it tonight.”
The paper parted and my solid color socks came into view.
“Those are mine. I bought them so I’d have plenty of spares.” I testified.
One. . . Two. . . Three. . . Four quad floated out of the wrapping and over to sit by me on the couch, then, “Oh, Jack! They’re lovely!” as a lacy purple quad floated out and hung in front of Twilight. One of the socks separated from the rest and draped itself down Twilight’s hind leg as Twilight twisted her head to admire it.
“Oh Darling,” Twilight breathed a throaty endearment, “I would never dare to buy something like this for myself but from you it’s perfect!”
“I don’t place quite the same significance on them that you do but do I pass the test anyway?” I inquired.
Twilight chuckled, “When did you figure out it was a test?”
“Well,” I speculated, “I don’t think the mess in the first restaurant was planned but dragging me in front of all the salesponies and confirming me as a decision maker was pretty obvious.”
Twilight nodded, “I thought Noble Sneer would order the staff to ignore you or mess up your order. I never dreamed that she would insult me too. If Prince Blueblood ever had a chance, she ended it. I’m very happy with the way you resolved that. A whole bunch of Noble Ponies are going to respect you now.”
Soarin’ had drifted to the far side of the room and was standing behind a chair. Spitfire was just grinning and giggling, “Soarin’, you should come watch this. He buys her some of the hottest lingerie I’ve ever seen, she models it for him, and now they’re analyzing their date. These two are destined for each other.”
Soarin’ seemed concerned about something else, “I think I’ll stay over here for a while. In fact, I may just go take a shower.”
Spitfire let out a loud guffaw, “So you like them too?”
Soarin’ replied simply, “Yes.”
About then the exact nature of Soarin’s ‘issue’ penetrated my thick skull. It shouldn’t have taken that long but I was distracted by a similar problem of my own. Luckily, I was wearing pants.
Spitfire, on the other hand, was thoroughly enjoying the whole event, “Come on, guys. Line up over here and let's have a contest,” with not very well concealed laughter.
Twilight, meanwhile, was shading from violet toward cherry red, “Jack, is she talking about what I think she’s talking about?”
So I leaned toward her and whispered, “Yes. What else should ‘the most desirable mare in Equestria’ expect when she teases her stallion?”
“But? But? But? Soarin’?” Twilight stuttered.
“Why not?” I asked. “He’s young, single, and healthy. Right now he’s wondering how much cold water it will take to wash one of his best fantasies out of his brain so he doesn’t embarrass a friend.”
However, Spitfire had no such qualms, “Come on, Jack. At least give me a look at something exotic.”
I answered seriously, “Spitfire, I’ve made a promise to Twilight so it’s her permission you have to ask.”
Spitfire teased, “Come on, Twilight, show us what’s so good that a Princess would keep it for herself.”
Twilight looked at me and I just shrugged so she said, “Take off your shirt, Jack, just your shirt.” When I did she continued, “Look at those muscles. He works out with Big Mac for fun. Show her, Jack.”
So I did my best Chippendales poses for her and gave Spitfire a case of the wing flutters. Twilight was loving it. I guess that it’s the first time the librarian walked away with the beefcake in a competition with a Wonderbolt. Anyway, we got progressively sillier until I was attempting Twilight curls and we all broke down into giggles.
We gave Soarin’ first bite in the shower and after we had all had our turn, we made ourselves comfortable on the big bed. Spitfire was disappointed that I kept my shorts on but it wouldn’t have mattered anyway. Twilight claimed my lap and seemed ready to defend it from all comers. The conversation was very educational along the lines of our earlier Human versus Pony swaps but more intimate. Spitfire was having a lot of fun but Twilight was intensely analyzing every word.
Soarin nodded as Spitfire explained, “Get used to it, Jack. At least half of Equestria is going to want to know what makes you worthy of a Princess and the other half is going to expect you to prove it.”
Eventually we drifted into our sleeping positions. Twilight wrapped a wing around me to keep me safe. It was a pretty nice place to be.
Jack's Journal (Chapter 5)
Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter. Jack's Journal (Chapter 6)
3/6
“Wake up, Twilight. Time to go,” I whispered as I rubbed her cheek and ear.
Twilight stretched and smiled, “Do we have to?”
I pointed out, “The sun is up so Celestia is waiting for us. You get my clothes out and I’ll get the shower started.”
I made it all the way into the shower before I realized that I hadn’t taken any clothes off and that was because I wasn’t wearing any. I’d made it a point to wear at least underwear around Twilight to conceal any embarrassing involuntary reactions but this morning I was no longer concerned. Something had changed in my relationship with Twilight. I was completely comfortable around her. The mental background of ‘be careful of this’, ‘avoid that’ was gone. I knew with certainty that I couldn’t offend her, that I was welcomed exactly as I am without reservation.
I was broken out of my introspection by Twilight’s voice, “So the water is that good?”
“I haven’t even noticed the water. Something else is going on.” I elaborated, “As of some time last night my insecurities and inhibitions are gone. There’s always been this worry in the back of my mind that I would make a mistake and hurt or offend you. Cadance and I even talked about it yesterday. Today I am as secure in the certainty that you will forgive me as I am certain that I will always forgive you.”
“What did you expect, Darling?” Twilight grinned slyly, “You just overmastered the head of the Bachelor Herd and prime competitor for my hoof and you did it in front of the Princesses and all of Canterlot. You were willing to fight to the death for me and won. You have proven yourself a worthy stallion and been accepted by my family. The Bond is forming.”
I could hear the capital letters so I was concerned. “The Bond?” After all, it was messing with my mind.
“Yes, Jack. The Bond is the whole purpose of dating. We will grow closer and share more of each other's lives so that by the time spring comes around we will know how well we fit together. If we are happy with each other, we can complete the Bond and begin founding our own herd.”
I can’t say I was expecting that but neither can I say that I’m unhappy with it. Mostly, it sounds like Pony love to me.
I nodded, “Okay, now let’s get going and see if we can get there before Celestia is done.”
Interestingly, our shower went quicker and easier because I was no longer working around certain parts. The purple Pony parts seemed as much mine as the tan Human parts. It’s hard to put into words but actions that would have drawn a blush or better from me yesterday had lost their significance. At the same time Twilight was more desirable than ever, just not that way. Am I becoming equine? Again, I can’t help but remember that ‘ways of Equestria’ speech.
We dressed quickly, Twilight in her basic regalia and I in my casual shirt and slacks. I was reaching for the door when a knock sounded so I opened it to a startled Page.
“Her Majesty Princess Celestia requests the pleasure of your company with Her breakfast this morning and has sent me to guide you.”
I asked Twilight, “Are we packed?” and when she nodded, I waved her out the door and closed it behind us. In less than a minute, the Page opened an unmarked door and we found Celestia and Luna seated at a large table inside.
“Have a seat,” Celestia gestured at a row of pads across the table from her and Luna. “Princess Cadance and Prince Shining will be here any minute.”
I took the seat farthest from the door with Twilight next to me. Seating myself after a short bow, I inquired, “I hope you’re having a fine morning, Your Majesties.”
Celestia snarked, “I’m not sure, Jack. We’ll find out when the papers get here.”
Cadance and Shining had walked in halfway through that exchange. Cadance gave Celestia a ‘what’s that’ look and Celestia returned a ‘who, me?’ grin. As soon as they were seated a procession bearing platters of breakfasty dishes emerged from a door in the side wall. I picked scrambled eggs and pancakes. Placing a pancake just so, I buttered it thoroughly and spread a layer of scrambled eggs on top of it. After crumbling some cheese on the eggs, I placed another pancake squarely above the first and applied syrup.
I was deep into the joy of the first bite when I looked up to find Celestia staring at me. “Jack,” she said, “Every time I think I understand you, you take something completely ordinary and add your own unique twist to it. Thank you. That is a gift to a mare as old and jaded as I.”
I nodded acknowledgement and kept on eating. We were all nearly done when the Page returned with three folded newspapers. Luna intercepted them and sent one to Celestia, one to Cadance, and kept one.
Celestia’s said ‘Equestria Today’ on the front of it and she paged through it rapidly until, “Here we go. In Political News, ‘Last night a major power shift took place at the Grand Galloping Gala. Princess Twilight Sparkle brought the same strange stallion as her date for the Gala as she has been seen shopping and dining with in Canterlot. Prince Blueblood, long considered the favorite for the Title of Prince Consort, arrived and challenged the interloper on sight. A Deathmatch with crossbows was quickly arranged and presided over by Princess Celestia Herself. As the stranger was poised to administer the Coup de gras Prince Blueblood shouted ‘get it over with!’ while standing proudly. The stranger was so impressed with Prince Blueblood’s courage and honor that he fired his bolt into the dirt and offered reconciliation. Prince Blueblood graciously accepted the stranger’s apology and left the Gala to consider his options’.”
While Celestia was reading, Luna’s snorts and chuckles had escalated into full blown guffaws. Celestia smiled sweetly and said, “Sister, if it’s that good, please share it with the rest of us.”
Luna replied, “It must be seen.” and passed the paper to Celestia. She looked at it, laughed, calmed herself and scanned down the page, then passed the paper to me. I turned it so the front page faced me and held it up over the center of the table for Twilight to read too. The banner read ‘Equestrian Enquirer’ and the headline under it ‘Mystery Stallion Shames Bachelor Herd’. Half of the page was taken up with an obviously aerial view of me facing Blueblood on the Field of Honor. I had a spear sticking out of my arm and was aiming a huge crossbow at Blueblood while a large group of Ponies behind him scattered for the winds.
The text below the picture read, ‘The Mystery Stallion seen in this photo has been keeping company with Princess Twilight in recent weeks. When the Princess’s putative fiance, Prince Blueblood, confronted him at the GGG a Challenge was issued. They squared off with crossbows and the Prince scored first. The Mystery Stallion seemed quite unconcerned and didn’t even bleed noticeably as he prepared to finish the Prince off. At the last second he took pity on the Prince and offered him mercy. The Prince seemed stunned as they met in front of Princess Celestia and made their apologies. The Prince left, followed by most of the Canterlot Bachelor Herd, possibly to lick his wounds and try to recover from losing both his fiance and leadership of the Bachelor Herd in the same event.’
Being thoroughly confused, I looked at Celestia and asked, “How many alternate realities are you in contact with, Your Majesty?”
Both Celestia and Luna exploded in laughter. Looking at Twilight, I asked, “What did I say?”
Through giggles, Twilight explained, “You’ve never seen this alleged news source because I won’t allow it in the library. I won’t let it in because they deliver ‘enhanced news’,” making air quotes with her wings. “They say they ‘enhance’ their sources, particularly photos, to make it easier for their reduced attention span audience to understand complex issues.”
“I understand now, I just thought Equestria was free of that particular infestation. How many space alien babies have you had,” I asked.
“three,” Twilight replied, turning a rare shade of maroon. Celestia rolled off her pad laughing.
“I couldn’t hear you, Darling,” I said.
Through gritted teeth, she said, “Three and how did you know about that if you didn’t know what this rag is?”
Calmly, I replied, “The infestation isn’t limited to Equestria. Space alien babies are their favorite attention getter for slow news days on Earth.”
Shining grinned at me, “Jack, you are one brave stallion. She’s my sister and I wouldn’t tease her like that.”
I smiled back, “It’s not her I’m thinking of teasing. Just imagine, I could let them interview a real live interdimensional alien, tell them about human things like trains on ships and horseless carriages.”
That brought Celestia up off the floor, “NO! They’ll get no support or aid while I’m Princess.”
Cadance spoke up, “How about an alternative? In the Canterlot Daily Chronicle we have a good picture of Jack standing next to Twilight at the door. The caption says, ‘Do you know this stallion? This stranger of an unfamiliar race has been seen lately in the company of Princess Twilight Sparkle. All who have interacted with him have said that he is unfailingly calm and polite even in the face of provocation. In fact, he has made a number of friends in Canterlot. Yet when Prince Blueblood challenged him, Princess Celestia described him as possibly more dangerous than an angry Griffon. The outcome of the Challenge seemed to confirm Princess Celestia’s assessment. So we want to know: Who is he? Where did he come from? What is his legal status? History? Lineage? Education? Future plans? If you know the answers to any of these questions please contact us at The Canterlot Daily Chronicle so that we can share those answers with everypony’.”
“Hey, I like those guys,” I exclaimed. “They admit they don’t know instead of making shit up. This gives me ideas.”
Twilight looked at me with worry in her eyes, “Jaacckk, what are you thinking?”
With a big smile, “I’m thinking that we need to control the narrative and sooner is better. The question is how? A straight up interview is risky but doing nothing just lets your ‘favorite’ rag take a running start.”
Twilight is glaring at me now, “Jack, don’t play with me. I know what that silly smile means.”
Celestia said, “Yes, Jack, what do you have on your mind?”
I reasoned, “The problem with any live interview is that once the information leaves my mouth, it’s out there forever and there are things that I don’t know about Equestria that could slip up on me. Twilight and I are already making reports so why don’t we do a condensed version and send it to them in writing? We have a list of questions already in hand.”
Luna was nodding like a bobble head and Celestia was looking quite pleased but Shining had a question, “Couldn’t we just copy those reports to them and let them do the rest of the work?”
“NO!!! ” Twilight and I blared in perfect synchronization. We looked at each other and she nodded so I picked up the thread, “First, it’s anypony’s guess what they will consider useful out of a novel sized document. Second, there is some serious soul searching in there between me and your sister, things that we don’t mind saying around family and select friends but do not want published. Third, I surely don’t want to publish all of my weaknesses for any assassin hired now that challenging me is mostly off the table.
“We don’t want to give them too much anyway. Simple answers for simple questions will suffice for their first dose. We can ration out information to keep them interested and hold a reserve for any time that we need to overshadow another source. I also want to pass this letter around and get all of your opinions on it to keep it as safe and effective as possible. That would take too much time for more than a single page.
“Twilight and I could bang out a strong draft to pass around at lunch today for correction. After lunch I could make a pretty version and deliver it in person by mid afternoon. That would verify the source and let me establish a relationship with the paper for future use. We'll see the results with breakfast tomorrow.”
Everypony liked that idea so Twilight and I went back to the same room and went to work. That really meant that I dictated and Twilight wrote because my penmanship with quill and ink tended to waste a lot of paper and time.
I opened the newspaper and began our list, “Who is he? I am Jack.”
“Where did he come from? I came from another universe called Earth. I was dreaming one night and suddenly the dream was real.”
“What is my legal status? I have asked for and been granted citizenship by Princess Celestia conditional that I learn how to be a proper Pony.”
“What is my history? Well, up until that certain night, I was a normal man (adult male Human) with friends, family, and a farm. I wasn’t rich enough to be exceptional but I was comfortable and made extra money as a writer/consultant.”
“Lineage? Damned if I know. This is not the same body I had on Earth but it seems identical so anything is possible.”
“Education? I have degrees in Engineering and Agriculture. I am an expert on technology, which fulfills much the same function on Earth that magic does in Equestria.”
“My future plans? I want to have a family and friends and live happily ever after with the mare I love. And that’s all unless you want to add something.”
Twilight looked at the list carefully, “Somepony is going to ask how you know that it’s a different body if it’s identical.”
I thought for a few seconds, and, “Change that to ‘Damned if I know. This body is noticeably younger than I was on Earth but it seems identical otherwise so anything is possible.”
Twilight nodded, “I like that better. Now we need to make it clearer that Earth doesn’t have magic.”
That one needed more thought, finally, “How about, ‘I have degrees in Engineering and Agriculture and I am an expert on technology. Earth has no magic at all but technology serves all the same functions.’.”
“I think that will work. What do you want to do about a cover letter or agreement?” Twilight asked.
I put on my favorite sly gin, “That’s why I’m going in person. If I’m going to make a deal with a media outlet, even if the deal is ‘I’ll be a source as long as you are honest’, I don’t want any written evidence. This way we’ll have deniability for everypony if anything goes wrong. Go ahead and make three copies with room for editing then you can come over here and get your reward.”
I laid my clothes out on the chair and climbed up to the middle of the bed. A couple of big pillows let me comfortably maintain a sitting position as I waited for Twilight. She left her regalia on the dresser and climbed across the bed.
“Stretch out right here against my leg,” I instructed. “Good, now give me a wing.”
We both had to move several times to make all of both wings accessible but that was alright. I gave every inch of both wings a slow, sensuous preening and a gentle massage up and down the leading edge. When we finished preening Twilight pushed me over and started rubbing all over me like a giant cat. The feeling of soft warm fur on my body was wonderful and I started rubbing back. We were both giggling and bouncing around as we made a game of who could find a new place to rub on the other. Twilight’s scent was intoxicating and I was literally happier than I have ever been.
But the clock marched on and lunch time was fast approaching. Twilight was having trouble getting her regalia properly positioned because she couldn’t stop giggling.
As I helped her get the final piece in place, “What’s so funny?”
Still giggling, Twilight replied, “I’m just thinking of Shining’s reaction when you walk by him. He’s going to roll his eyes and make some snide remark about ‘what have you two been up to’.”
“So,” I remarked, “It’s in the Big Brother job description.”
I ended up carrying the drafts to the dining room because she kept losing concentration to a fit of giggles. When we walked in the door everypony else was already there in the same seats as breakfast. I was careful to walk close behind Cadance and Shining well ahead of Twilight. Cadance started giggling in time with Twilight and Shining turned to face me.
Rolling his eyes, “Did you two find some time to make that list?”
I dropped the three copies of the draft on the table in front of him and explained, “I felt guilty about drafting a Princess to be my scribe so I rewarded her after we were done. I gave her a long, tender preening to make up for the one we skipped this morning and afterwards we had a near wrestling match trying to out-cuddle each other. “
Shining looked shocked, “That’s right. The only other individual that could help her preen is Spike.”
I was looking at Cadance over his back and seeing pleading in her eyes so I had to ask, “Wait a minute. Are you trying to tell me that you don’t preen Cadance?”
Now Shining is confused, “Of course not, we have staff for that.”
My turn to be shocked, “Shining, I love you like a brother but dammit, you are a FOOL. Twilight, come over here and speak to your brother.” She skipped over and leaned against my thigh. “Look at her, not your baby sister but the young mare she’s become. Look at the glow, the smile, this is a happy mare.” And she did look good . “This is what a good preening does. And you should do it because it’s in your job description as a stallion. Tell him Twilight.”
Twilight smiled shyly at him, “I don’t know what I’m going to do if sex is anywhere near as much fun as preening, probably lock the bedroom door and never come out again.”
“Look, Shining,” I offered, “I can instruct you if you’d like. . . . Shining?”
Shining was just sitting there with his mouth and eyes frozen open. I snapped my fingers right in front of his nose, nothing. I clapped my hands next to his ear, nothing.
“Cadance, Twilight, I’m going to need your help,” I advised. We rolled Shining onto his side and slid the pad away from the table.
“Cadance, guard his legs. He’s going to thrash around and I don’t want him to kick anything, especially not me. Twilight, control his head and horn. Don’t let him hit the table or me,” I instructed.
Squatting behind him, I reached across and felt for the little divot at the bottom of his ribs. Finding it, I made a fist and rubbed vigorously up and down. On the third stroke he came straight up off the pad and landed on his feet panting and looking frantically around. Cadance moved up and wrapped her wings around him.
“What did you do to me!! ” Shining shouted.
I had already moved to stand next to Twilight so I faced him and explained, “You were in shock so I brought you out by the only method that I am certain is safe for Equines. It’s a little abrupt but does no harm at all.
“Do you remember what Twilight said?”
Shining looked confused for about ten seconds, then, “OH! Yeah, that kind of slipped up on me, my super naive, super bashful baby sister is bragging about what she does with her stallion in the bedroom. She’s no longer the Twilight I knew when we left for the Crystal Empire but she seems much happier. I wasn’t expecting that at all.”
I smiled at him, “Don’t worry, she’ll change again tomorrow. We’re both doing a lot of learning right now. So, anyway, do you want instruction in the fine art of preening? We can even get Twilight to help.”
Twilight stepped on my foot to get my attention and when I leaned down, she whispered, “You’re not preening any mare without me there. Believe that!”
Cadance was whispering to Shining too. He looked back toward us and said, “Thanks for the offer but I already have an instructor.”
I was helping Twilight push our seats together when Celestia spoke softly, “You know, Jack, I might be interested in some of those instructions. . . .”
Before Celestia had finished her sentence, I felt a weight on my back and a crackle of energy surrounding me. Twilight had her front legs hooked over my shoulders and her hind legs wrapped around my waist. Over my head, she growled at Celestia , “My stallion! Mine!”
Forcing myself to stay relaxed, “Celestia, I’d really appreciate it if you’d lay off teasing Twilight for a little while. We’re going through some changes right now and some subjects are a little sensitive.”
Celestia nodded ever so slightly and, “I wasn’t teasing Twilight, I was trying to tease you. Twilight knows that I would never steal anything from her, much less a stallion so obviously infatuated with her that he would never go.”
The feel of an imminent lightning strike faded and Twilight began to relax. I squatted so she could slide down off my back without falling to the floor then we took our seats at the table.
Celestia looked up and down the table, “Now, if we’re done with today’s episode of Neighton Place, let’s eat.”
First, I received a mug of tea, I mean a full sized mug not a dainty little cup. Then a plate with half sliced oven fresh bread and half sliced cheese set before me. Finally, heaven, a plate of perfectly cooked hamburger patties arrived. A selection of veggies and condiments followed but my focus was captured.
I built a Perfect Burger© and looked up to find Celestia studying me. “Do I have you to thank for this?” I asked. She nodded and I continued, “Thank you. I don’t need it as often as I want it but the cravings can be powerful.”
Celestia gave me one of her famous sneaky grins and said, “Honestly, I wanted to see what everypony was talking about. You would be amazed how many Ponies felt compelled to tell me that you were positively blissful eating nasty Griffon food. It may have added to your ‘more dangerous than a Griffon’ mystique.
“We keep a small supply of ‘Griffon foods’ in stock here. You can order them any time you are here,” Celestia added.
“Really? How about fish?” I inquired. “On Spitfire’s advice I’m trying to get Twilight to try fish. I think smoked salmon would do it if I could find some.
“OW!” after a sharp poke in the ribs by Twilight.
Celestia laughed, “I’m on your side, Jack. But Twilight will probably wait until she starts molting to give in.”
“OW! What’s that for? She said it, not me,” I exclaimed.
We did, finally, manage to eat lunch. Then Cadance passed the drafts around and opinions were called for.
Cadance voted, “It may be a little short but it’s safe and attention getting.”
Luna agreed, “We concur. Be certain that she will ask questions.”
Celestia completed the circle, “Yes, I like it as far as it goes. Are you prepared to explain it?”
“I intend to not only explain but to lay out some rules for a continuing relationship. Those will start with only written answers may be quoted. Everything else is background. Good behavior will be rewarded with written interviews and bad behavior will be punished,” I elaborated.
Celestia nodded, “It’s a good plan, Jack. You have my blessing to implement it as you see fit. Just know that you will be graded on the skill and effectiveness of that implementation. Right now, walk with me for a few minutes.”
Celestia rose and led me through a door on the opposite side of the room from the kitchen. “Make yourself comfortable,” she offered as I looked around a nicely furnished sitting room.
I stretched out on one of two facing sofas, saying, “I want to spend the night here and that means that I need to be sure Spike gets a message.”
Celestia smiled at me and said, “That takes care of the first thing I wanted to talk about. Luna is arranging it with Twilight as we speak. Is there more?”
“I’ll need a guide to the newspaper office. I really don’t want to take her into a crowd right now,” I added.
Celestia nodded, “Her security squad is here and not needed as long as she remains in the Castle. I’ll detail one of them. Next?”
I took a deep breath and asked, “How long is this going to last and just what is it? We both woke up this morning with a new relationship, she called it ‘the Bond’. I feel like some of my human feelings have been swapped out for Pony equivalents but I’m more in control, not less.”
Celestia asked thoughtfully, “How do you feel about losing part of your human nature?”
“I was startled at first but after some thought I decided that if I’m going to live my life among Ponies, thinking like one isn’t a bad thing,” I explained.
“I’m surprised at you, Jack,” Celestia confessed. “I would have expected more concern over anything that altered your mind.”
“No, I still have all the same options,” I replied, “it just made my life easier and potentially better. But I want to know what happened to Twilight. Did she get a dose of Human emotions?”
Celestia chuckled, “No, it was completely predictable and she should have warned you about it. A particularly desirable stallion can pull a mare into a pseudo heat and after last night you are an extremely desirable stallion. By now Luna will have given her a potion that will blunt your effect on her and by tonight she will be back to the Twilight you are used to. But, Jack, be careful about teasing her like you did this morning. If she makes it to full heat, it’s going to be very rough on you. Ask Shining, he can tell you.
“You might also want to think about skipping this spring. You need more time to adjust to Pony ways and Twilight needs more time to adjust to being Alicorn. What you saw today was a very small sample of what heat is like for an Alicorn. She needs to learn more control before she has her first stallion experience with a mortal.”
Soberly, I remarked, “You’ve given me a lot to think on. Right now I think I need to get going to the newspaper office. I want to be sure to make tomorrow’s edition.”
I still don’t know how she does it but seconds later the door we came in through opened and a Unicorn in Royal Guard armor walked in.
Celestia introduced him, “Jack, this is Sharp Blade. He’s the leader of the Ponyville Guard contingent and will be your guide today.”
“Pleased to meet you, sir.” as he snapped off a sharp salute. When I returned salute, he grinned.
I nodded to him, “I’m way past retirement now but the habits never die. We need to pick up a copy of the letter and head out. We can talk on the way.”
He produced a copy of the letter from that mysterious place that all Unicorns seem to have where things just follow them around. Leading me through a different door and eventually out the main gate, we ventured into the center of Canterlot. A very interesting conversation followed.
“Yes, sir. Many of us suspected but after the events at the Gala, we knew. It will be good to have another Prince with military experience in Canterlot. Things haven’t been quite right since the Captain went north,” the Lieutenant confided in me.
That was worth a chuckle, “Just out of curiosity, what gave me away?”
“It was your calm confidence, sir. You made a plan that included the potential for death and carried it out without a hint of indecision or nervousness. That speaks of a stallion with experience and training,” he explained.
And that gave me an idea, “Would it change your opinion of me if I told you that most of that plan turned out to be blind luck?”
Looking startled, he asked a lot with one word, “Sir?”
So I laid it out, “The thing I was most impressed with in that encounter was my complete ignorance of Pony techniques and skills. I made several assumptions that could have gotten me killed if Blueblood had taken advantage of them. What saved me was that he was just as ignorant of Human strengths and weaknesses. I need to learn. I need to understand how Ponies and others fight. I need proficiency with the weapons available in Equestria. I need somepony to teach me.”
He lit up like a fireworks show, “Yes SIR! Like I said, a professional. When we are back in Ponyville I will get you a copy of our training schedule and you can ‘sit in’ as an ‘observer’. I’ll be just as interested in how Humans fight so I’ll know what to expect if we ever have to fight alongside each other.”
The rest of the conversation was some technical comparisons of Human and Pony armed forces until we arrived at a square building with a sign reading ‘Canterlot Daily Chronicle’ on the front.
Sharp Blade strode boldly through the door and up to the receptionist, announcing, “We’re here to see the editor in chief.”
The unimpressed receptionist answered, “She’s in an important meeting right now. You can . . .” at that moment she looked past Sharp Blade to see me standing in the door and switched directions, “wait here while I go get her.”
She shot through a door in the wall behind her and twenty seconds later shot back out the door in formation with a middle aged Unicorn mare.
The newcomer walked up to me and introduced herself, “Hello, I’m Straight Story, the owner/editor of this publication,” and offered a hoofbump.
Completing the introductions, “I’m Jack,” and returned the hoofbump.
Straight Story asked, “And to what do I owe that pleasure of your company, Jack?”
I replied, “I’m answering your invitation.” Holding my hand out to Sharp Blade, “The letter, please. And you can find a comfortable place to wait,” looking pointedly at the receptionist, “and maybe even something to drink or a snack.”
The letter floated into my hand and Straight Story ushered me down the hall and into her office. I set the letter on her desk and made myself comfortable on the fat bean bag chair, “That’s a gift, a token of my appreciation for a reporter that asks politely instead of speculating or creating.”
She responded with a raised eyebrow then picked up the letter and read it, nodding as she went.
“If you want more than that letter, there will be rules,” I enlarged on my earlier statement, “First, you may quote anything I deliver in writing but it must be published as written with nothing omitted that might change the meaning. Anything not in writing, like our current conversation, is background and may not be quoted or attributed. This is to protect both of us from my massive ignorance of Equestria and Pony society.
“Second, you may contact me in writing with questions in care of Princess Twilight in Ponyville or via the Royal Castle in Canterlot. As long as the questions are reasonable in number and scope I will do my best to answer them in writing. Ambush journalism or paparazzi style harassment will result in the loss of any privileges.
“Third, you are invited to use my submissions in the fashion that best benefits you and your paper. I will offer what small help I can in the future. Do you agree with these conditions?”
Speaking slowly and carefully, she asked, “Why are you doing this, Jack?”
And I answered simply, “Have you seen the front page of this morning’s Enquirer?” She snorted loudly. I continued, “I need to control my image and not leave it to Ponies like that bunch.”
She smiled, “It will be nice to have a friend in the Castle. I agree.”
I smiled back at her, “You have several, for the same reason. Now, do you have any questions about that letter?”
She picked up a quill and paper and began to write as she asked, “Are you really as dangerous as an angry Griffon?”
“Right to the point,” I remarked. “I didn’t address that in the letter because I’m really not sure. I am not knowledgeable enough of Equestrian weapons and tactics to do more than speculate how many of my Human skills may be useful. . . Yet.”
Looking at me from under a raised eyebrow, Straight Story noted, “But you don’t deny it?”
I sighed deeply and answered carefully, “I’m a newcomer courting a Princess in a land of entitled Nobles. I am not going to expose any of my strengths or weaknesses until all of the challenges and assassination attempts are done and that may be never.”
“Okay,” she acknowledged, “That’s a sensible attitude. Let's try, why did you come here?”
“I’m still working on that one,” I conjectured, “I was having a pleasant dream about a happy fantasy land then I woke up to find the dream had its basis in a reality that is far richer and stronger than any fantasy. At first I thought this was some kind of personal afterlife but I’ve since concluded that there are too many other individuals living their own complex lives all around me for that to be possible. So I’m just as lost about the ultimate meaning of life as everypony else.
“Look, I suggest that you space those answers out over a few days with commentary from experts and notable individuals. You could take questions and forward selected questions to me. Done right it would generate major sales for you and help me get an understanding of what kinds of things are important to ordinary Ponies. Being slow and careful would benefit both of us.”
She agreed that would be a good idea so I collected my escort and we headed back to the Castle. It’s possible that I was a little broody while walking along but I had some decisions to make. We wouldn’t know the results of my first essay into Pony politics until tomorrow morning. And Twilight might be a little touchy until tomorrow if Celestia’s prediction is correct.
When we made it back to the Castle, Twilight was waiting for me in ‘our’ room with a contrite expression on her face. “I’m sorry, Jack,” she murmured. “I should have known better. Can you forgive me?”
“Forgive you for what?” I exclaimed. “For thinking I’m sexy? Never! You are going to have to pay for that forever.”
“JAAACCCKKK!!” blasted an exasperated Twilight. “Don’t make fun of me. I threatened Celestia!”
“I dunno. She looked awfully in control to me,” I explained. “Besides, I’m making fun of myself because I set the whole event in motion. Write it up to be part of my education.
“This ‘Celebration in Canterlot’ keeps mushrooming. I hope all our friends made it home safely.”
Jack's Journal (Chapter 7)
4/3
The Guard has welcomed me as a brother. Lieutenant Sharp Blade and I trade stories of historical battles while he teaches me Pony strategy and tactics. The Squad has learned to fear hands in any kind of unarmed combat. And I am grateful that they try to sting more than hurt during sword practice. I’ve been to a couple of ‘colt’s night out’ with them and learned that you can waste a lot of money trying to get a Pony drunk. They can metabolize alcohol way quicker than I can.
Big Mac dropped in making a delivery during one of those and stayed for some stories and a couple of mugs of his own cider. I found out that he was in some sort of reserve and was very highly respected by the local Squad. And when they found out that my ‘exercise program’ was competing with Big Mac on the farm, my stock rose sharply. There was also some ‘interesting’ advice on living with mares. Several techniques for driving one wild with ecstasy have been recommended but I think I’m going to be careful about implementing any of them on an Alicorn.
All in all, things have been working out pretty much exactly the way I want them. As a citizen of Equestria I’m moving from known to integrated. Spring is almost here and we are both making preparations for it.
Twilight and I hauled in the last load of the day’s shopping trips. Combined with what Spike had brought in earlier, we looked like we were prepared for a siege. After putting it all away, Twilight and I got comfortable on the couch for a little rest and relaxation. In the weeks since the Gala, our relationship had settled into the calm intimacy of fully committed lovers. We knew ‘Big Things’ were coming but right now a little affection was all it took to reach happiness.
“Is the door locked?” I asked.
I heard a clicking, then, “Is now,” Twilight replied.
I pulled Twilight into my lap and started rubbing my face in her mane, “Dammit, you smell good, Twilight. I could just sit here and drink in your scent for hours.”
Twilight pulled away and looked back at me with a hint of tears in her eyes, “I’ll be leaving for Canterlot in the morning. Rarity is going to bring me a potion and as soon as I have it, I will leave.”
Not understanding, I said, “I hope you don’t mind if I ride along. I’ve been wanting to make another run at the Royal Library for a clue on how to fix my magic problem.”
She had more than a hint of tears now, “No, Jack. I’m going specifically to get away from you. I can’t be around you for the next week or so.”
Now I had a pretty good idea what was going on but I was not letting her go without a fight, “Why not, Twilight? What’s wrong with me?”
Twilight was getting upset, “Damn you, Jack. You’re not stupid. You must know that my heat is beginning.”
I pulled Twilight over until her head was nestled against my chest, “Of course I know. I’ve been loving that wonderful scent and all the extra affection for a week now. So I ask again, what’s wrong with me? Why can’t I help you through your heat?”
Twilight wrapped her forelegs around me and pulled herself tight to me. Raising her head, she whispered in my ear, “There’s nothing I want more, Jack, but I’m afraid.”
I turned my head and whispered in her ear, “Don’t be. I know what I’m doing and can promise you nothing but unimagined heights of pleasure.”
Whispering to me again, Twilight told me, “I’m not afraid of you, I’m afraid for you. This is my first heat as an Alicorn and would be my first time with a stallion. I don’t even know if the potion will work on me anymore.”
Speaking softly, I asked, “So what’s the worst thing that could happen? I mean you’re not going to explode or something?”
Twilight leaned back and looked at me seriously, “This isn’t a joke, Jack If I lose control, I’m going to rape you over and over.”
Smiling at her, I asked, “And that’s bad because? ? ?”
“OOOOOHHH,” Twilight groaned in frustration, “I could work you to complete exhaustion or dehydration and injure or kill you.”
It was about then that I noticed Twilight’s scent was a lot stronger and sweeter. So I took her head in my hands and kissed her nose gently. Smiling at her, I said, “No more teasing. I know what all of the risks and pitfalls are. I’ve studied them and ways to deal with them. The final piece of the puzzle was gaining enough command of my magic to heal my body or boost my stamina. With that I’m your equal in bed. In fact, I’m more likely to rut you into unconsciousness than vice versa. And, Twilight, I made this decision months ago so the pheromones have nothing to do with it. Do what makes Twilight happy and Jack will take care of the details.”
Looking up at me with big eyes, Twilight spoke softly, “I’m going to stay here with you and I don’t think I’ll use the potion.”
“Then there are a few more things to take care of,” I reminded Twilight. “How do Ponies do birth control? I know you do or you’d be permanently pregnant.”
Twilight said simply, “We have spells for that.”
I smiled, “Good. Put one on both of us. Ordinarily I’d say we need magic to conceive but since we’re both so loaded with magic already, I’d hate to rely on that.”
Twilight’s horn glowed briefly then, “It’s done.”
“Good,” I declared, “Now I’ve got a big question for you. What are we going to tell Spike?”
A familiar voice spoke up from behind us, “You don’t have to tell Spike anything. I could smell Twilight from upstairs and I know what that smell means. Jack, you’re even crazier than she is going to be if you stay here with her. I’m going to stay with Rarity for the week.”
I turned my head to look behind us and there was Spike with suitcase in claw headed for the door. Grinning at him, I remarked, “Spike, I know with absolute certainty that someday this particular kind of crazy is going to be the most important thing in your life and on that day I’ll remind you of this conversation. Please tell Rarity to bring the potion anyway and if we’re busy, just leave it on the kitchen table.”
Twilight interjected, “Oh! And, Spike, please get the ‘Closed for Heat’ sign out of my desk and hang it on the door.”
The sign was hung and the door locked behind Spike when Twilight turned to me and asked, “Why do you want the potion?”
I answered, “Because we are going to take one day off in the middle of the week. An expert once warned me of the hazards of relying on nothing but magic to support a body so we are going to get some real food and sleep midweek. It will also let us test the potion and see how effective it is on an Alicorn at the peak of heat. And we’ll rut that much better the next day.”
Twilight had climbed completely into my lap and started humming as she rubbed her head all over my head, neck, and chest. Her tail was twitching insanely between my knees. My hands explored her back looking for sensitive spots and found two, her wings.
Twilight was breathing heavily when she pulled back and said, “Let’s move upstairs. There’s more room on the bed and I won’t have to worry about somepony peeking in the window and seeing me do something unprincesslike.”
I nodded and followed Twilight toward the bedroom. When we hit the stairs, Twilight held her tail high and I was treated to a close up view of a puffy purple vulva occasionally flashing its red interior at me. I got hosed with pheromones too.
As soon as the bedroom door was closed, Twilight glared at me and ordered, “Get those clothes off. I want to feel my stallion.”
Whoa, something has changed here but it made sense so I started undressing. I’d made it down to my underwear when I looked up and saw Twilight leaning on the bed watching me. As my erection sprang to its full extension, I saw Twilight’s eyes widen. I’ve always been a hardcore grower and might even have gained a little with my new and improved healthier body but the ability to impress a horse is still the ego stroke of a lifetime.
Twilight growled, “Get that big strong body of yours over here and rut your mare like a proper stud.”
She had her head on the bed and her butt up in the air beside the bed with her tail over her back in what I’ve got to admit is the ideal position for a fast mating. This was a side of Twilight that I’d never seen but a plan was in motion and it was too late to change it so I walked over to the bed, stretched out in front of Twilight, and said one word, “No.”
Twilight scowled at me and started charging her horn so I continued, “Trust me, Twilight, I didn’t come here to mate like feral animals, I came here to practice the fine art of physical love.”
The scowl was still there but the magic was gone as I pulled Twilight up on the bed with me and started exploring her body with my hands while I explained, “All you have to do is relax and learn. Professor Jack will instruct you on the techniques of pleasure. First we need some more foreplay to get your blood and nectar flowing.”
I rolled Twilight on her back while I kissed and nuzzled around her head and neck. I noticed a hitch in her breathing when I got close to her ears so I decided to concentrate on them. Taking a long slow lick up the inside of her left ear, I observed a sudden increase in breathing and heart rate. Her hips started twitching so I slipped my left leg between her hind legs to give her something to hump. She wrapped her legs around mine and started grinding up and down my thigh. I reached down and gently bit her ear and she was off and running, gasping and thrusting wildly as bright lights burst from her horn and sailed around the room.
Twilight grabbed my left arm and clamped it to her chest with her forelegs while her hind legs clenched hard on my leg. She started to spasm and wail like a siren in my ear. After a short minute she began to wind down and loosen up.
I kissed Twilight lightly on the lips and smiled down at her, “And that was the other thing we needed, an orgasm. Now you’re loaded with endorphins and won’t even feel it when I blow through your cherry.”
I took a deep breath and prepared to say something else to Twilight but that’s when the aroma hit me. It’s the same scent I smelled following Twilight up the stairs except a hundred times stronger and it hit me like a ton of bricks. Looking down, I saw Twilight grinning from ear to ear. That mare knew exactly what she was doing to me. When this is over we are going to have to sit down and figure out who played who but right then I needed to get into the game or I was going to make a mess on the bed. I couldn’t even run away from it because my leg was coated with nectar.
Twilight had already spread her hind legs wide so I slipped my other leg between them and placed my hands on either side of her shoulders. She hooked her forelegs over my shoulders and pulled me down to her chest. I could feel my erection nestled between her teats so I began to slide down. Her breathing hitched so I thrust a few times and she started gasping and pushing me down. Just before my glans fell off her teats, she rolled her hips forward and it dropped right into her open vulva.
Feeling the heat, I thrust into her and quickly met resistance. Cherry confirmed. After backing out I thrust in again a little harder but was still stopped. As I began my third thrust, Twilight thrust upward sharply and hilted herself on me. We immediately fell into a rhythm with lights flashing and Twilight shouting, “More! More! More!” as I answered, “Yes! Yes! Yes!”
I had planned to stretch things out a little to give Twilight an extra orgasm but that just wasn’t to be. Feeling the swelling of my urethra, I knew my load was already on its way into Twilight. She must have felt it too because she wrapped her legs around me and pulled herself tight against me. She’s got Alicorn strength on the inside too because she clamped down so tight I couldn’t pull back. The lights got so bright I had to close my eyes but it didn’t matter. The whole universe was reduced to pushing the last of my load into Twilight’s depths.
After a minute we began to relax and unclench. I started to raise up and roll off Twilight but she pulled me back tight to her saying, “Oh no, you’re not going anywhere. I’ve waited years for this, for the best stallion in Equestria to be right where he belongs, inside me, and I’m going to enjoy the feeling for as long as I can.”
I agreed with Twilight, “Yeh, I like being in the hottest mare in Equestria too. I just wanted to be sure my weight wasn’t making it hard for you to breathe or anything.”
Twilight laughed, “Nah, you don’t weigh enough to inconvenience me.”
I smiled and replied, “Good, that opens up some possibilities. Right now I’m going to tell you a secret. You know how your ears are sensitive and can get you excited? Well, mine are the same way.”
It took her about two seconds to digest that and I felt a hot wet tongue on my left ear. My breathing and heart promptly picked up. A bit later I felt her lips pull my ear out from the side of my head and she nibbled gently on it. That got my erection started again but I wasn’t happy with its progress so I reached for my magic and willed all my muscles to be rested and everything else to be reloaded and ready.
In a husky voice, Twilight asked, “Jack, are you getting bigger?”
I replied, “Of course. I always get bigger right before I rut you into unconsciousness.”
Very shortly I was hard enough to begin thrusting again. Starting with an easy rhythm, I angled myself so that I would drag across her clit on the upstroke. Twilight responded quickly with increased breathing and heart rate. As I increased my tempo, she began to thrust up against me and sparkles shot off her horn. In less than a minute, she clamped herself hard against me and spasmed her way through an orgasm.
We were coming up on my mare’s fourth orgasm when I realized that I wasn’t going to make it through this one. I’ve been getting a fresh dose of pheromones with each of her orgasms and the effect seemed cumulative. My load was moving and she knew it too. Once again she tilted her hips and clamped herself to me to get my erection as deep in her as it would go. The lights were blinding and my mare was wailing in my ear but I didn’t care. I was happy beyond anything I have ever known. My mare wanted nothing more than my seed and I was giving it to her in full measure. Throwing my head back, I shouted, “Oh hell yes!” loud enough to shake the walls.
The tension ebbed from my muscles as I basked in the afterglow of a great orgasm with my mare. Kissing her nose lightly, I gazed into her beautiful violet eyes and realized that I have achieved my dream. Smiling broadly, I said, “Life couldn’t possibly be . . .”
WHAM! WHAM! WHAM! echoed up from downstairs.
“Look out, Darling. Somepony has an emergency and if no one answers the door, they’ll come busting in,” I exclaimed.
I stumbled across the floor and pulled my pants on as I rushed for the stairs. I knew I reeked but I doubted that I had time for a shower. Downstairs I looked out the window, it was too dark to recognize a face but the gold armor was unmistakable. This was official whatever it was.
I opened the door and greeted Lieutenant Sharp Blade, Unicorn leader of the elite squad stationed in Ponyville to both protect and serve Twilight, “Hello Lieutenant. What’s going on?”
His nose wrinkled, he replied, “I apologize for disturbing you, sir, but there have been a number of reports from civilians of screaming and bright lights coming from the library. I, myself, have just observed the lights and a shout loud enough to rattle windows a block away. What concerns me most is the amount of raw magic spewing from the upper story. Is everypony safe and secure?”
With a small huff, I answered, “I can absolutely assure you that nopony inside or outside the library is in any kind of danger.”
He nodded, “Thank you, sir. Might you have any suggestions on how I should describe the source of these disturbances in my report?”
With a large grin, I replied, “Alicorn orgasm. That’s what’s going on. And I would appreciate it if you could station a Pony near here to reassure the civilians. I’ll try to tone down the noise but there is no doubt that the lights and magic will go on for the rest of the week.”
Thoughtfully, he said, “That’s a good idea sir.” Sheepishly, he continued, “Please, sir, may I?” leaning toward me. I nodded my head and he stepped in close to me and inhaled deeply. Stepping back, he relaxed, “Ah. Thank you, sir. I know that’s as close as I’ll ever get to a Princess but now I have something to dream about.”
He shuffled carefully down the walkway while I closed and locked the door. After bouncing up the stairs, I dropped my pants and slid into the bed beside my mare.
“What was the big emergency?” Twilight asked.
With a chuckle, I replied, “We’re disturbing the neighbors. It seems we’re too loud.”
We cuddled up and I began exploring my mare while Twilight explored her stallion. Being so intimate was a great thing for both of us but it was overpowering for Twilight. Before too long she was sneaking up on an orgasm so I laid flat on my back and invited her to climb my flagpole. I had forgotten about the wings. In two seconds she was hovering over me, guiding me in with her magic. I suggested that she might try moving or leaning in different directions for different experiences and she was off and running.
Six orgasms later I finally caught up with her. Afterwards we laid there with her draped on top of me and her head on my shoulder while she panted from the exertion.
“You know, Twilight,” I spoke gently, “Sometimes I like this, the feeling of connection, better than the extreme peaks of orgasm. This gentle feeling of unity lasts so much longer. It’s what I was thinking of when I promised you and me together against eternity.”
Twilight replied with a soft snore. It’s not a romantic declaration but it is good that my mare is finally satiated and can get some rest before the hormones rise up again. With a little careful wiggling and reaching, I pulled a light blanket over us and closed my eyes for my own rest.
4/4
I could see half of the room without moving my mare but not the half where the door was. No matter, the hoofsteps were coming closer. A horn, followed by a billowing mane and a white wing came into my field of view.
“Hello, Princess. Come to check up on us?” I asked.
Appraising me carefully, Celestia remarked, “You could hardly expect anything else after that blatant invitation you sent me last night. ‘Alicorn orgasm’ indeed. We’ll have all the details here shortly.”
With the biggest smile I could manage, I speculated, “Oh? Are you planning on some personal experience?”
Twilight must have awakened somewhere back up the conversation because she poked me hard in the ribs after that question.
Celestia elaborated, “No, but I am here pursuant to an old custom that Princess Twilight may not be aware of. It requires that any potentially fertile Royal coupling be observed and documented. We wouldn’t want any uncertainty over who’s the sire so here I am.”
Chuckling a little, I informed, “Princess, you wasted a trip. Twilight and I talked and before we started anything, she put sterility spells on both of us. There will definitely be foals in the future but not this year.”
Glaring at me, Celestia intoned, “You’re about half as smart as you think you are, Jack. Spells cast on Alicorns are notoriously unreliable. Though I suppose your saving grace was having the spell cast on yourself too. At any rate, I’m going to play it safe and do my duty. Besides, I want to see just how you cope with an Alicorn.”
I suggested, “Make yourself comfortable, Princess. This is going to take a while.”
Celestia snidely remarked, “Oh? Still not fully recovered from last night?”
With a sigh, I explained, “I’m a Human, I wake up every morning of my life ready to go. I just enjoy covering Twilight so much I want to make it last.”
I made a show of moving Twilight off of me until I got my mouth to the ear away from Celestia and whispered, “Let’s go with regular Pony style. It’ll give Celestia an eyeful. Oh, and since it’s broad daylight, we can make all the noise we want.”
Twilight nodded once and we began kissing and nuzzling each other. Some more stimulating action was going on under the blanket but it was too much fun to tantalize Celestia with vague motions of fabric so we stayed in the bed as long as we could. However, my mare has jet take off so in just a couple of minutes she’s off the bed and has assumed the position.
Oh, but she wasn’t going to make this easy. She had her front legs kneeling on the bed but her butt was high with her tail down and hind legs straight. I stood and leaned over her, snuffling her withers and digging in her mane. She grunted and breathed a little harder but otherwise stood fast. After working my way down her side, I snuffled her backside. She just clamped her tail down so I took a mouthful of butt cheek and bit lightly. Twilight emitted a distinctly horse-like whinny and threw her tail over her back.
Then I could snuffle her vulva directly and the aroma was oh so wonderful. I slid my tongue between her labia and lifted one side so I could catch it between my lips and pull. Twilight shuffled her feet a little but that’s all so I let her feel my teeth on her most delicate parts. She immediately let out a louder whinny and opened her vulva wide, dousing my face in nectar and pheromones. Backing up, I stood and watched as she spread her hind legs wide and tilted her hips. Now my mare was ready.
I advanced, leaning over her and placing my hands on her spine just behind her ribs. Leaning forward, I shifted my weight onto her back as I probed with my erection. When my glans poked her clit, she raised it and threw my erection up and into her spread vulva where it slid quickly into her waiting vagina. The heat of her body seared my erection causing me to involuntarily hilt in her. My mare tightened on me and I drew a heavy breath as I began full depth strokes. I knew that between the heat and the friction I was not going to last long but Twilight beat me to the finish line anyway. By the third thrust, her horn was sparkling and on the fifth she clamped down so tight I couldn’t move as she spasmed through an orgasm.
The instant that she had loosened enough, I was back to full length strokes but she beat me to the peak again. And again. And again. I almost caught her on the fifth orgasm and I stayed balanced on the edge through it. Two thrusts after resuming my rhythm I felt a familiar swelling and thrust for depth. Grabbing both wings, I pulled hard as I spasmed short hard strokes seeking maximum depth. I must’ve triggered something in Twilight because she started bucking and shooting big sparks from her horn. Deep orgasm had me and all I could do was hang on and pump. My eyes were closed from the bright lights but I could feel air moving like something was flying around me. I just pointed my nose straight up and howled, joining Twilight’s wail.
Eventually, the tension drained from our bodies and I backed up, falling limply out of Twilight. Sprawling out across the bed, I pulled a pillow under my head and shoulders. My mare quickly snuggled up against me and we shared the pillow. Hearing a throat cleared across the room, I craned my neck and observed Celestia backed into a corner with the ghostly glow of a shield in front of her. “Is it safe to come out now?” she asked.
I nodded my head and Celestia dropped the shield to walk over by the bed. Looking down on us with curiosity, Celestia asked, “Twilight, what in Equestria is going on?”
Twilight smiled wide and answered, “I found myself a very talented stallion and I’m keeping him.”
Shifting her focus to me, Celestia asked, “Jack, can you explain any of this to me?”
Smiling as wide as Twilight, I replied, “I found myself a very hot mare and I’m keeping her.”
Celestia was beginning to cloud over so I continued, “And I have a few observations. You’ve probably noticed that I’m not a Pony. In fact, I lack several things considered de rigueur for stallions.”
Glancing down my body, Celestia nodded and remarked, “Yes, I’ve been wondering about your apparent lack of a sheath.”
I explained, “Yep, humans just don’t have one which is why you will see me in pants unless I’m alone or with adult family in a secure location. I don’t flare either. When Twilight and I were first discussing the possibilities, I worried that I might not be able to satisfy her because of my deficiencies but we seem to have safely disposed of that worry.”
Turning her attention to Twilight Celestia asked, “Well, has your ‘deficient’ stallion disposed of all his worries?”
Twilight nodded and replied, “Oh yes. He knows things that aren’t in the books and he’s teaching me.”
Turning back to me, Celestia remarked, “I see you understand your mare, that’s good. There may be hope for you. Just as a matter of curiosity, how long before you two are ready to go again?”
I barked a short laugh and answered, “We’re waiting on you.”
Celestia glared pointedly at my crotch so I explained, “Twilight knows where the switch is. It’ll take just a few seconds to get it ready.”
Celestia stepped back a couple of steps so I turned my head to make my ear easily accessible to Twilight. She immediately started snuffling and nibbling and in moments I’m at full mast. I suggested that she try facing the opposite way from last night and in seconds the wings are out and she’s settled into position. Celestia is confused and quickly retreats into her corner while my mare and I bang through a bunch of orgasms.
Come mid afternoon I noticed that Twilight had gotten a little winded so I propped myself up in the bed and laid her across my lap. She was relaxed and curled around me when Celestia got brave enough to venture out of her corner again. I continued gently grooming Twilight as Celestia approached.
Grinning at me, Celestia asked, “Had enough, Jack?”
Grinning back, I replied, “I’m okay but Twilight is showing some fatigue so we’re taking a break to let her rest. You’ve got to remember that she’s outworking me five orgasms to one.”
Still grinning, Celestia sniped, “I’ve been meaning to ask you about that. Are you impotent?”
Laughing, I explained, “Not at all, I’m Human. None of my ancestors were prey animals so I see physical love as an art where I give as much pleasure as possible to my partner. That’s part of the wonderful serendipity that Twilight and I have discovered. I’m a mare’s wet dream, a lover who can just keep going and going because that’s the human norm. From my point of view, Twilight is way hotter in every sense of the word than any woman I have ever known. So Twilight is my mare and I live to protect and satisfy her.”
With a large sigh, Celestia lectured me, “Jack . . . Jack, all stallions feel that way. The pheromones guarantee it. And all mares hold and defend their stallion. The hormones guarantee it. What’s important is how you both feel next week.”
I just smiled at Celestia and explained, “What’s more important is how we felt last week. Twilight was planning to isolate herself and suffer through her heat alone and miserable specifically to protect me. Does that sound like hormones? At the same time I was willing to accept any risk or indignity to be with Twilight because I love Twilight, all of Twilight, not just the cute parts. And those are the feelings that are going to be there when the hormones are gone again.”
Celestia contemplated that for a moment then asked, “Twilight, is what he’s saying true?”
I helped Twilight sit up and lean against my chest with my arms around her so she could address Celestia directly. Twilight smiled up at me then answered, “I knew he was the one before the Gala. He’s a romantic and keeps a list of ‘reasons I love Twilight’, not ‘The Princess’ or ‘The Mage’, just ‘Twilight’. There aren’t a lot of stallions like that so I intend to cherish the one I’ve found.”
Celestia nodded sagely then, “I hope you’re both right. We will have a lot to talk about when you two come back to the world.”
And that sparked a memory in me, “Princess, please, can you do me a favor? I need to get a message to Rarity and a letter to Spike would be the simplest way. Twilight, let me up so I can get to your desk.”
Celestia laughed, “She was here when I came in but she left quickly. However, I can take care of it, Jack. Just tell me the message.”
I stopped trying to wiggle out from under Twilight and dictated, “The day after tomorrow I want to meet with all the mares for lunch in the usual place. Questions will be answered and notices given. If we don’t make it, come to the library and check on us. Signed, Jack,” I glanced down and Twilight nodded, “and Twilight.
“You are invited too. We are going to talk about things important to you. Also we will find out if the potion still works on Twilight and get some real nutrition and rest for midweek. The ‘usual place’ is the restaurant between Rarity’s and the spa. Madness resumes the next day and runs until.”
Celestia showed me a scroll and when I nodded, it disappeared. She spoke kindly, “Jack, as Twilight can tell you, the life of a Princess is not an easy one. A Prince, even a Prince Consort doesn’t have it any easier. Think long and hard before you make your choices.”
Matching Celestia’s tone, I explained, “’A burden shared is a burden lifted.’ You have your sister. Cadance has Shining Armor. Twilight deserves somepony. My choices are made, I just need to live up to them.”
Speaking solemnly, Celestia addressed me, “I hope you have some second choices. The path you have chosen is extremely difficult and failure is likely.”
“I know that but it’s how life works. The big things are always more difficult. But I do have some expert help,” and I cheekrubbed Twilight, “I like to think that I have your support too. From my first day you know that what I want is what is best for Equestria.”
Celestia spoke very softly and sadly, “But what if your failure is what is best for Equestria?”
I answered Celestia as calmly as I could, “Until you can convince me of that, I’ll just keep trying.”
Celestia nodded, “I would expect as much. My duty here is done and Canterlot remains. Good luck and goodbye.”
She slipped quickly down the stairs but I never heard the sound of the door or a teleport. My mare was already warming up and I was a little distracted.
Jack's Journal (Chapter 1)
The Beginning
One of the grandfoals found this buried in the Royal Archive and asked me what it was about. I've always wondered what Celestia did with it. Reading it brought Luna's promise to laugh at the 'follies of our youths' to mind. There are certainly plenty of them in these volumes. I've tried to reorganize it into more logical chapters than just dates and edit around some of my early misconceptions so that today's Ponies can get a better idea of what life was like 'way back when.' So, with hopefully no more than minor confusion, here is the story of my origins as told by the young and foolish me.
I have been asked by Princess Twilight to document my daily experiences as the only human in Equestria. As I complete each chapter I am to hand it to Princess Twilight to read and send on to Princess Celestia. I understand that Princess Celestia is going to archive them for future reference. Both Ponies hope to gain some insight into humans in general and myself in particular so they can help me adapt to life in Equestria and be ready if anyone else shows up. I’ll be using an informal, narrative format both because it’s quicker and I can waste a lot of paper trying to get it just right with a quill.
Adapting is my number one priority right now because my trip here was one way. I lived for sixty nine years on a planet called “Earth” as an unremarkable man. I have enough education to do pretty much anything I want but what I wanted most was to live on and from my own land. Like farmers in general, I was rode hard and put up wet for most of that sixty nine years but I was happy. I made enough extra money writing and consulting to have air conditioned tractors with SatNav. I had a loving wife (who is still on that farm with my eldest son and his family).
Then my body started letting me down and I’d have to quit early or sleep late. Several doctors told me it was a normal part of aging until I found one that looked deeper. I had a disease inside me that was slowly eating my guts. We tried several ways to kill it but none worked. So the final step was surgery. That worked for a few years until it came back. So we cut it out again, and again. Eventually I started running out of me. There wasn’t enough left of my internal organs to support an active life and pills can do just so much. That left me with lots of time to sit around and think.
The whole ‘let’s just get it over with’ line of thought never was my style and that left me with wallowing in misery or finding something else to occupy my mind. Luckily, I’ve always been an avid reader with Sci-Fi and Fantasy being my favorites for entertainment. Everything from Doc Smith to the Marvel Universe was on the table. After trying a couple of dozen “alternate worlds” I settled on My Little Pony. It was happy, easy on the brain, and least likely to bring up something I didn’t want to think about right now. In time I became very proficient at lucid dreaming and went to bed every night confident that I was bound for Equestria.
That particular night I found myself having lunch with the girls (the Elements) and discussing the upcoming Grand Galloping Gala. Mostly I was letting the conversation wash over me as I basked in the ambiance. Then I noticed a crack in the sky. Twilight just ignored me when I tried to ask her about it. More cracks appeared and they spread to the floor around us but what worried me the most was the girls’ complete obliviousness. Suddenly, everything was white.
I was standing on a white surface that defied description looking around at white walls/glare/clouds without any clear definition. The approaching/materializing shape resolved into a Pony, an Alicorn mare, though not one that I remembered from anywhere. She reminded me a lot of Celestia with the white coat and billowing mane but her mane had more red and orange to it. Plus she seemed more substantial than Celestia and had an air of maturity, I guess what you’d call ‘gravitas’.
After a minute of examining each other, she smiled and asked. “Do you know where you are, Jack?”
Looking back at her seriously, I ventured, “My first guess would be Limbo.”
“Very good, Jack!” she beamed. “That’s as good a name for it as any. This is the void between the universes and you are right that your mortal body has failed. Normally your soul would have gone directly to the Human Afterlife but I intercepted you so we could have this conversation.
“Your dreams happened to coincide almost perfectly with a plan from the Council of the Gods so you are being offered an opportunity. This moment was chosen because physical matter cannot move from universe to universe except in special circumstances. Your soul, however, can be easily moved but there are consequences. If I take you to Equestria, you will become part of the Universe of Equestria and subject to all of its ways and whims. If you die, you will go to the Equestrian Afterlife and never see your Earth family and friends again. Equestria has magic and magic makes many things that are impossible for humans, common. You could have and wield magic of your own but you will have to learn how by yourself and it won’t be simple or easy.
“You will be given one great gift to compensate you for taking this risk, you will have complete control of your own destiny. No being or power will be able to interfere with you unless you choose to let them. Knowing both the risks and rewards of your desire, do you accept this gift? If you decline, I will release you and you will continue on to the Human Afterlife with no memory of this conversation.”
I very carefully considered all of my options for about three seconds and said, “Yes.”
7-15
I was still not sure where the boundary lay between dream and reality but the intensity and complexity of that moment screamed reality. It would help if I had some clue to the identity of that Alicorn beyond a family resemblance to Celestia. If I could verify her real existence, I would have some solid information on just what was happening but I didn’t even get a look at her cutie mark.
I’d been walking up the road for about a minute when I felt/heard a rush of air behind me. Turning and looking revealed nothing. When I turned back there was an ice blue Pegasus mare with a dark blue mane hovering at eye level about ten meters away.
I waved and asked, “Is this Ponyville?”
Her eyes widened as she nodded her head once then turned and zipped up the road towards the large building. She’d answered some of my biggest questions, though. I was at least close to a place where I wanted to be. Two more minutes walking up the road and I was nearing the first of the houses when I spotted my Pegasus friend returning and she had a purple escort. They both landed on the road in front of me and stood there blocking me from any further progress into town.
They were both glaring at me like I represented some kind of offense so I smiled and, in as cheery a voice as I could manage, said, “Hello. You must be Twilight Sparkle. . .”
The Pegasus interrupted me, “That’s “Princess Twilight” to you, stranger.”
Executing a small bow, I continued, “Princess Twilight. I’m Jack, a very recent arrival in Equestria.”
Twilight’s expression softened about two percent as she replied, “Hello, Jack. Now what are you and why are you here?”
“I’m a man, a male Human, technically Homo Sapiens Sapiens. And I’m here because I heard this is a good place to make a home. By the way, I’m willing to answer questions until I fall over but it will take a lot longer for me to fall over if I do it sitting down in the shade.”
Twilight’s expression hardened again, “You aren’t going anywhere, mister, until I determine what kind of threat you are to my Ponies.”
I had to laugh at that, “Princess, look at me. I have no teeth or claws to speak of, no magic, and no weapons versus an Alicorn with thirty healthy Ponies backing her up. I’m flattered that you think I could be a threat.”
She looked behind her and saw that there really were about thirty Ponies coming down the street to see what the excitement was all about.
Shaking her head, Twilight observed, “You may be right. There will certainly be fewer interruptions in the library and it will be easier to take notes. Follow me.”
The Alicorn turned and started up the road plowing through the crowd like an icebreaker. I had to stretch a little to keep up but the crowd gave me plenty of room. In a few minutes we arrived at a door in the side of a very large tree. Twilight went in and I followed but when I turned to close the door, an orange Earth Pony with a blond mane and stetson hat was following me.
“Hey, Twilight,” Applejack called, “what’cha got here?”
Twilight answered, “A new arrival and I’m glad you’re here. I was going to send Spike for you.”
I jumped in, “I’m glad too. Maybe you can help me convince Twilight that I’m not here to attack anybody.”
That earned me two strong glares so I picked a pad next to the table in the center of the library and made myself comfortable. Twilight brought a stack of paper and settled in across from me with AJ at her side. What followed was a detailed interrogation with frequent questioning glances from Twilight to AJ and nods from AJ to Twilight.
Twilight, “Where did you come from?”
Me, “A world called ‘Earth’.”
Twilight, “Where is ‘Earth’ located?”
Me, “It’s the third planet of the Sol system in the Milky Way Galaxy.”
Twilight, “In what direction is that?”
Me, “I have no idea. Probably not one that I could just point to.”
Twilight, “Then how did you get here?”
Me, “I went to sleep there and woke up here. I highly doubt that anyone is more surprised than me.”
Poor Twilight was not getting what she wanted out of this interview. I tried but so many little things just spun off in strange directions. Trying to get a handle on travel time brought up Daylight Saving time.
Twilight, “For what sane reason could you possibly want to change your clocks twice a year?”
Me, “It’s supposed to save energy by making the most people sleep through the darkest part of the day.”
Twilight blinked a few times, “You mean ‘day’ as in one complete cycle of the Sun and Moon? Not just when the Sun is in the sky?”
Me, “Correct. By having lights on for less time you save power.”
Twilight, “What kind of lights do you use that require so much magic that you have to conserve it?”
Me, “Lights don’t use magic. Daylight Saving Time was invented when most lights burned lamp oil and it wasn’t cheap. Whale oil was the most common kind and chasing whales in a row boat is not easy.”
Twilight was showing some frustration now but she was trying as hard as I.
Twilight, “And no one has managed to invent a light that could use magic?”
Me, “Of course not because there is no magic.”
I could hear Twilight’s train of thought derailing and boxcars flying everywhere so I turned to AJ.
Me, “Do you understand what I’m trying to say?”
AJ, “Sugarcube, I can see how hard you are trying to be honest and accurate but as far as understanding goes, I’m just along for the ride.”
After about twenty minutes of intellectual tail chasing, Twilight admitted that it was theoretically possible for a world with a complex civilization to exist completely without magic and we moved back to travel time.
Me, “I’m not sure how relevant it is anyway. I went to sleep in winter and woke up in summer.”
Sometime around lunch Twilight sighed mightily and started organizing her notes, “It will take me a little while to turn this into a report and forward it to Princess Celestia. She will probably send back some more questions for you. Just make yourself comfortable until then.”
AJ excused herself to go back to work and I thanked her for her help but Twilight wasn’t getting off that easy, “Just a minute, please. I have at least as many questions as you do so how about a few answers for me?”
A very conflicted Twilight explained, “What you ask is fair but I cannot delay this report for Princess Celestia.”
“Not a problem,” I replied. “This is a library, just set me up with some books on Pony history and culture. Start with simple ones and I’ll be happy for a while. And please think about stopping to eat before too long.”
Of course Twilight immediately implemented her universal solution, “Spike!”
Spike brought me grade school primers on Equestrian Geography, Pony Ancient and Modern History, and Pony Social Studies. A few minutes later, he brought me a bowl of mixed fruit and I was set for a while.
There was an obvious assumption that if I could speak the language, I could read it too and, luckily, it held. Or maybe it was part of that ‘subject to all of its ways and whims’. At any rate I could fill in a few blanks. A little later, just as I was about to finish the fourth book, someone cleared their throat across the table from me. Without looking up, I said, “Just a minute, please. I’m almost done.”
I ran through the last two pages, closed the book and put it on the pile with the rest, and looked up to see a large white Alicorn mare regarding me across the table. Shooting up out of my chair, I bowed and apologized, “Please forgive me. I’m afraid I get a little narrow focused when I’m studying.”
She settled on the pad on the opposite side of the table from me and beckoned, “Please, be seated. I’m Princess Celestia and I’m told you are Jack?”
Nodding, I replied, “Yes, Ma’am.”
Celestia continued, “And you wish to relocate permanently to Equestria?”
Again, I replied, “Yes, Ma’am.”
Focusing, Celestia explained, “We are a welcoming people and look forward to your contributions to our society but for safety reasons I must know about the path you took to get here. Could others follow? Or could somepony travel to your former home?”
I took a deep breath and answered, “Your Highness, I am absolutely sure that no one, not even me, can travel from Equestria to Earth. I am equally sure that no one can follow my path here but can’t say totally that no one else could find their own similar path. I base this on the fact that this is not the body I had on Earth, it's much younger. Evidently my original body is back on Earth being prepared for a funeral which leaves nothing to go back to.”
Regarding me thoughtfully, Celestia questioned, “That’s a pretty amazing story, Jack, especially coming from a world that you have said has no magic at all.”
Nodding my head, I ventured, “I agree. From my point of view, I went from having a fantastic dream to living the reality in the blink of an eye. I want you to put a truth spell on me so you can have confidence in my answers.”
Examining me critically, she detailed, “Jack, we only use truth spells for serious criminal matters because they allow easy violations of a Pony’s privacy.”
Looking Celestia directly in the eye, I stated, “I am waiving my right to privacy in this specific circumstance because I want you to have confidence in me as a friend.”
The Princess studied me for several minutes before coming to a decision, “Alright, Jack, we’re going to see what you’re made of.”
Her horn glowed briefly and I thought I felt a small tingle. Then the questions began, “Lie to me, Jack,” Celestia requested.
So I answered, “The sky is red. Ouch! ” as an electric shock shot through my body.
Celestia just grinned, “Now, Jack, what do you want from Equestria?”
I glared at her, “You could have warned me. What I want is a safe, happy place to have family, friends, and something useful to do.”
“An unbiased verification of the effectiveness of the spell is more important,” she noted. “To whom do you owe your allegiance?”
That was a fun one, “No one. I have no access to my former home so everything there is over and done with. And I haven’t been here long enough to form an opinion of anyone or any group. I will say that anyone who wants my support will start by convincing me that we share values of honor and fairness. Generally, I will try to do what is best for family and friends as a whole.”
Celestia smiled and nodded her head then asked, “How do you feel about Ponies in general?”
“Again, I haven’t been here long enough to form a new opinion but I did live almost all of my previous life sharing a farm with some horses. Even though these horses are not Ponies they are still Equines and because of them I am familiar with the ways of Equines. I have always related well to them and, in fact, one of my greatest regrets is dying and leaving a good friend standing in the pasture waiting for me. Our relative life spans should have had us growing old together but a disease changed things.”
“That’s interesting. How do you feel about me?” Celestia inquired.
‘This is going to be living on the edge’ went through my mind, “Concerned. On the one hand, any time you concentrate so much power in the control of one individual there is enormous potential for disaster. On the other hand, your motives seem beyond reproach and your results are magnificent. The concern is because some day you are going to make a mistake and I wonder what that mistake will cost Equestria.”
Keeping a completely neutral face, she asked, “What would you do to address those concerns?”
Yep, the razor’s edge, “Given my microscopic power base, about all I could do personally is advise. I do have a broad knowledge of human history and it is mostly a list of the mistakes that rulers and cultures could make. Perhaps I could warn you of a mistake that Ponies haven’t faced yet.”
Looking a little darker, Celestia speculated, “So you think Humans are more advanced than Ponies.”
I kept calm, “No, they’re different. The technology vs magic dichotomy means that the races will experience different kinds of events at different times. That makes for great potential if knowledge can be shared.”
Back to studiously neutral, Celestia asked, “What would your first advice to me be?”
Back on safer ground, “Without taking a detailed look at what you’ve already done? Delegate. Get a large staff to help you run things and investigate problems. The more eyes you have on a problem, the more likely someone will spot a mistake before it’s irreparable.”
The Princess revealed her thoughts, “You are forthright and intelligent, Jack. I like that so I’m going to make you an offer. I want two archives made, one about humans and one containing human knowledge that might be useful to Ponies. In return you get food, shelter, a stipend, and an Equestrian education. I don’t expect any part of that to become a full time job in itself but you should get a medical baseline and any medical expertise that you may have in the first archive as quickly as possible. It could be invaluable if we have to heal you.”
“Can I get citizenship out of that too?” I asked.
Celestia beamed, “Of course you can. Just be sure you understand the responsibilities that come with it. You will lose any exceptions made under the law for visitors. You could be called into service in an emergency. And you will have to acknowledge the Princesses as your sovereigns.”
I thought about it for nearly a quarter minute before I realized that I was wasting time and said so, “I’m going to accept your offer based purely on my gut feeling about you. Your reputation is for fairness and honor so I will trust you. It’s pretty much what I would do anyway.”
“Then it is done,” Celestia pronounced. “Normally an oath would be required but since you answered under a truth spell we will dispense with that.” Looking back over her shoulder, she asked, “Twilight, do you still have that spare room available?”
Twilight replied, “I was thinking of putting Jack there.”
Swinging back to me, Celestia explained, “You’ll be staying here in the library with Princess Twilight and Spike at least until you have assimilated well enough to make your own choices. It will make building the archives and your education easier because Princess Twilight will be responsible for both. You can work with them for your food preferences and any personal items that you need.”
I could live with that, “Thank you, Princesses Celestia and Twilight. I think I’m going to like it here.”
Celestia produced a cloth bag from somewhere and set it on the table with a solid thump, saying, “This is the first installment of your stipend. It is rather generous but not entirely for your benefit. You are going to be working with Princess Twilight and that will include your introduction to Equestrian society. You will need to be able to keep up with a Noble lifestyle.
“The basic unit of currency is the bit. The copper coins are one bit, the silver are ten bits, and the gold are one hundred bits. Ten bits should get you a nice meal in a family restaurant or several meals wisely spent in the marketplace. I’m going to leave you to it while you still have enough time to get any immediately needed items.”
Celestia took Twilight to the back of the room for a conference and I started on a mental list of things I needed soon. I wonder if they use toilet paper?
7-16
We made some plans for today too. First, pass through the market and see what appeals to me in the way of food. Second, meet Rarity and order additional clothes. Then spend the rest of the day in the hospital getting a medical baseline established. So I gathered my clothes and headed for the shower to begin the first full day of my new life.
Breakfast was waffles and fruit. I noticed once again how much better everything tasted. Maybe that’s because it’s not picked early, shipped halfway around the world, then processed to death to kill all of the parasites that climbed on while it was being transported. If doing the dishes is the price for food like this every day, I’ve gotten off cheap.
The trip through the market was educational. We decided on more bread, cheese, eggs, oats, and grapes. There were some other interesting things but they will be future experiments. I met Applejack again and we made a promise to get together soon and compare notes on the farming I’m used to versus the Earth Pony way. Spike headed back to the library with the groceries.
Next was a visit to the Carousel Boutique. Like most things Pony, its name is descriptive. Twilight opened the door and motioned for me to fall in behind her.
“Hello, Rarity. I’ve brought someone I want you to meet,” Twilight called.
A nearly white Unicorn with an elegantly styled purplish mane stepped in through a back door and, looking at me over her glasses, exclaimed, “Oh my. I had heard that he is tall but the reality is even more impressive.”
Twilight stepped forward, “Rarity, this is Jack. Jack is a Human and the first of his race in Equestria.
“Jack, this is Rarity, a very good friend and the go to Pony for all things high society.”
I walked around Twilight and knelt in front of Rarity, extending my right hand. Rarity lifted her foreleg and I took it, kissing her pastern. When I released her leg and stepped back, Rarity fanned herself with her hoof and smiled broadly.
“Oh, and a gentlestallion too,” She breathed.
Twilight looked at me askance but chose to continue her mission, “We are here because Jack wants to wear clothes all the time and these are all he brought with him. More are needed both for variety and convenient cleaning.”
Working with Rarity was a trip. She was elegant, polite, and determined to make formal overalls for me. I promised, “I will need dress clothes for social events and official functions later but they won’t be overalls. These are simple work clothes made to be tough and that’s what I need today. The fancy stuff won’t be needed for a while so we can take our time on it.”
She insisted on measuring me completely without clothes and was a total professional about it. File that away as another of the things I’m just going to have to get used to about Ponies. Then I had to explain ‘dress left’.
“That’s right,” I confirmed, “I can’t pull it back in. I was born without that feature so you have to allow room for it in my clothes. In fact, just assume twice what you see right now. It gets bigger and if the clothes are too tight, I get excited.”
Twilight was in the corner scribbling furiously. I pointed that out to Rarity and winked. Rarity smiled and nodded then said, “I don’t know, Jack. I hate to guess at measurements. Could you make it full sized so I could put a tape on it?”
Suppressing a laugh, I replied, “Sure but we’ll need some help. You need to do the measuring and I’ll need something to get excited about. Who do you think could help us?”
Twilight was focusing intently on her notes and had turned bright red in the face.
Rarity started out, “Well, it would have to be a young, pretty mare . . . .” and lost it to laughter as Twilight dropped her notes and quill. I couldn’t help but join in.
Twilight stomped and huffed, “Ooh!! You two. . .” and started collecting her notes.
But I wasn’t done, “Hey Rarity, do you have a camera? If you do, you might want to come with us. The next stop is the doctor for a medical baseline. I’m sure they’ll want a semen sample at some point.”
By the time I was dressed, Twilight and Rarity were giggling over Twilight’s notes. Rarity had a camera and offered to let me use it but I declined saying that it would be impractical to be both an actor and cameraman.
As Twilight and I were leaving, Rarity stopped me and offered, “Jack, you are welcome here any time for any reason. Please come just to visit.”
The hospital was, of course, on the other side of town but I didn’t mind, Ponyville and I were studying each other intently. The good news was that there was no outright fear or disgust, the bad news was that it was all from a safe distance. Twilight seemed to have forgiven me for the joke and was bubbling over with questions, “Jack, I want the truth. Spike says you read the four books he gave you in less than an hour. Did you really read them? All of each book?”
“In all honesty I don’t know the time because I didn’t have any kind of watch or clock right then. It sounds about right and I did read all of each book between when you left to make the report and when Princess Celestia came to talk to me. It’s not that hard because they were grade school text books with lots of pictures and repetition,” I explained.
Twilight had a strange expression, “Do all Humans read that fast?”
I scratched my head, “No. I’m among the fastest but far from alone. The techniques are easy to learn and very useful for students and people with technical professions.”
Twilight danced ahead a few steps then turned to face me with her eyes wide. It felt like a palpable force was working directly on my will.
“Please,” she begged, “can you teach me?”
I shook my head and said, “Of course. We can go over some of it while we are waiting for the doctors today.”
Twilight started pronking around me and I felt that same kind of force working on my heart now. She didn’t look like a noble Princess but damn she looked cute.
The hospital looked like a hospital, except . . . There was something there that did all the things that I expected to find in a hospital but it was all a little different from what I was used to. The doctors were pretty much the same, though, except for height and color. We walked out with a stuffed saddlebag full of records detailing everything anybody could ever ask about how I’m put together. Twilight, on the other hand, was having intense frustration. I guess being able to wave your horn and have whatever it is that you want come flying to you makes for poor delayed gratification skills.
The cause of Twilight’s frustration was the doctor’s efficiency. I had nurses and techs poking, measuring, recording, sampling, and testing on me non-stop. As soon as they finished a page they would pass it to the doctor and he would go down it line by line with me asking how this compared to the Human norm and what any deviation would signify. It was pretty routine as most of my guts were pretty close to Pony norms but we had to confirm that and note any variations.
Then we got to magic. Ponies have magic organs with magic ‘pressures’ and ‘temperatures’. I do not have magic organs at all but I do have magic ‘pressures’ and ‘temperatures’.
The doctor and Twilight were both confused. How could I possibly not be able to explain that? Are all Humans like this?
All I could say is, “How could I know, there’s no magic on Earth to measure.” I finally invited Twilight to run a truth spell on me to prove that I wasn’t holding out on anyone.
Anyway, while all this intense dialog was going on we did not get to talk about speed reading. Now that we were out of the hospital Twilight was back on focus. I, on the other hand, was quite aware that lunch time had come, waited impatiently, and left. We needed to combine goals.
“Hey, Twilight, why don’t we find a place where we can sit down, talk comfortably, and get some food?”
Twilight nodded and I thought I’d caught a short break but she immediately launched off on a new question, “Why do you always want to sit down?”
I snorted, “What’s the first difference you notice between me and your average Pony?”
Looking puzzled, she answered, “You’re tall.”
I smiled at Twilight, “Close. Now why am I tall?”
“Because you are standing straight up?” she ventured.
“Exactly!” I declared, “In fact, my race has been standing this way for so long that my ‘front’ limbs have evolved into arms with hands that never touch the ground. Now, what happens when you stop walking?”
Some exasperation has crept in but Twilight needs to know, “I don’t go anywhere.”
Nodding, I ask, “Yes, is that all?”
Glaring at me, she huffs, “Well, I could take a nap or get somepony to bring me food or get tired of waiting and teleport out. Why do you ask?”
“Because, I can’t do most of that,” I explained. “If I fall asleep it will only be for about three seconds. I’ll wake up when my face hits the pavement. It’s the difference between a four point stance and two. I have to consciously work all of my muscles all of the time to remain upright. It’s more work standing than walking. So being a sensible sort, I look for ways to conserve energy.”
Twilight looked shocked, “Oh. I hadn’t thought of that.”
“That’s okay. I only know about your default stability because I ran around with Equines on Earth.” As I spun completely around on one foot, “But I can do this and you can’t. I climb way better too.”
Twilight’s face lit up with realization, “You want me to put this in the archive we’re building!”
I nodded and said, “But I’m not sure if it should go in the medical file you’re carrying or the social file we are going to build. It could be important if Celestia ever has to receive a Human delegation with old Humans in it.”
Twilight smiled big at me, “That’s not a problem, we’ll put it in both.”
Spinning around had also exposed a new problem, “What’s pink and stalks Ponies? I ask because something pink is jumping from cover to cover behind us.”
Twilight laughed openly as she stopped, turned, then shouted, “Pinkie!”
A very pink mare bounced out from behind a bush and up to where we were standing. And she kept bouncing right in front of us.
“Jack, this is Pinkie Pie,” Twilight informed me. “Pinkie, this is Jack. He’s a new arrival in Equestria and Ponyville but he plans to stay. Please be gentle with him.”
Pinkie smiled and said, “Don’t worry, Twilight, I talked to Rarity and she said he was a fun loving gentlestallion. I’m going to like him.”
Carefully solemn, Twilight addressed Pinkie, “Just please don’t break him.”
So I gave Twilight a quizzical look and she elaborated, “Pinkie lives by a different logic than the rest of us. Accept it but don’t try to understand it or it will hurt your brain.”
Pinkie, on the other hand, had a plan, “Will you be ready for your party tomorrow night?”
I examined the idea cautiously, “I don’t have anything planned for tomorrow night, but, uh, what party?”
Pinkie replied, “Your ‘Welcome To Ponyville’ party, Silly. It will be in Sugarcube Corner beginning at sundown tomorrow.”
“Okay,” I surrendered, “What kind of party will it be? Should I wear a costume or a tux?”
“It will be a fun party,” Pinkie declared. “You can wear anything you want or nothing at all, just expect to be introduced to a lot of Ponies.”
Twilight nudged me, “Don’t worry. Pinkie throws happy parties and I’ll tell you everything you need to know about it. She does this to everypony when they move to Ponyville.”
As luck would have it, Sugarcube Corner was our destination anyway. We settled on a table next to a front window and started nibbling on cookies, muffins, and donuts. I laid out the elements of speed reading for Twilight and she gave me the basic Pinkie safety course. I wasn’t sure either of us fully believed the other but we agreed to give things a try and compare notes later.
We walked around town for a while, getting me familiar with the general layout and saying hello to a few startled Ponies. I’m still learning to understand cutie marks but they sure help with remembering and recognizing Ponies.
Dinner was pleasant enough though at some point I’m going to have to find a way to slip in some meat. Veggies with eggs, cheese and beans will keep me going for quite a while but not forever. We cleaned up and I retired to my room to digest the day’s events.
The depth of what I have done has finally begun to worm its way into my psyche. Dying isn’t minor but I upped the ante a lot when I jumped universes. I’m not living in the pleasant fantasy that had distracted me from my pain. This is a real world with real people in it, complete with government, society, and economy, all completely different from anything I’ve previously known. And being a happy fool, I had never thought any further ahead than ‘get there and figure it out’.
But on the plus side, every single one of those strange people that I have met has been kind, honest, and generous. I shudder to think of what would happen if our roles were reversed. I believe that I would be as kind to one of them as they have been to me but I also think I’m in the minority there. And I’d even bet that Celestia knows that.
There’s literally nothing I can do now but keep my eyes open and move carefully ahead. Or at this exact moment, I can put this paper away and get comfortable on my new bed. There’s already several adventures scheduled for tomorrow.
