The Only Mark That Matters

Radish entered Cat’s Howl. Light Fantastic looked up from her cash register and scowled at him with crossed hooves.

“Hello… dear.”

“Look, I-

Light held up the morning’s newspaper. The front page headline read, “Stolen Starcium Recovered by Hero Guard and Ex-Villain”, above stock photos of Radish and Starlight Glimmer.

“What the fuck, Rad? This is how I find out you’ve been traipsing around the countryside with that bitch?”

“I’m sorry, Light. I don’t get to pick and choose the missions I get sent on. And this one was actually a trap for us. We survived it by working together.”

“So you’re best buds with her now, is that it?”

“You know, Fan, being in her confidence has its advantages. On the train ride home, she told me some things about herself that you might find… entertaining.”

“Like what?”

“Like, why she turned bad in the first place.”

“What, you mean, her villain origin story?”

“Uh huh. Get this- it was over a boy.”

Light cocked her eyebrows. “A boy?”

“Yeah. When she was a filly, this colt she liked got his cutie mark for sorcery and moved away to magic school. She was so upset about losing him, that she vowed to get rid of all cutie marks forever.”

Light paused to absorb this.

“A… boy…”

She snickered. She started to crack up. She fell off her stool and landed on her back, kicking her legs and howling with laughter. “That’s the most pathetic thing I’ve ever heard!”

“Yeah.”

Light caught her breath and wiped her eyes. “Oh, wow. That’s funny. Tell Glimmer I’d like to meet with her.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, I think I know how to make peace with her now.”

Radish woke up in Light’s bed, snuggled up close to her. She was smiling serenely at him.

“Morning, handsome.”

“Morning, beautiful.”

“I really enjoyed last night.”

“I really did, too. You were really into it.”

Light stretched out and smiled. “I was feeling extra happy. I met with Starlight Glimmer yesterday.”

“Really? You didn't mention that.”

“I wanted it to be a surprise, but I just can’t hold it in anymore.”

“So you two reached some kind of peace?”

“Mmm hmm.”

“What did you do, have a drinking contest?”

Light rolled onto her side and gave a wide grin.

“I told her that I’d forgive her if she spent a week chained up in my attic.”

“What, she agreed to that?”

“She did!”

“Sheesh. Starting when?”

“Last night.”

Radish sat up. He gazed at the ceiling. “What? She’s up there now?”

“Wanna go see?”

Light led Radish into her attic and flipped on the light switch.

“Come on, she’s over here,” Light said, leading him to a corner. “Starlight, dear, how was your night?”

There was nothing in the corner but a length of chains that had been magically twisted apart. A message had been burned into the planks of the nearby wall. It read, in large angry letters:

YOU TWO

ARE

DISGUSTING!

“Aww, she didn’t even make one day,” said Light. “Oh well, she can try again some other time.”

Radish looked around the attic.

“Wait. Light, we’re right above your bedroom.”

“Yes.”

“So, last night, she could hear us-”

“Yes.”

“And you were moaning that loud-”

“Yes.”

“And when you were screaming about my-”

“Yes.”

“Light! I don’t want you to weaponize our lovemaking. That’s what Maxilla tried to do. And I don’t want you faking moans with me just to taunt somepony you’ve got tied up.”

“Well, I don’t know how else to get reven- I mean, how to forgive her.”

“You don’t have to. I’m not going to force a friendship between you two. Just don't involve me in any more weird sex-related pranks, okay?”

“Hmm. What's the name of that boy she liked?”

“Don't involve him, either.”

“You are really stifling my creativity, Rad.”