The Grimdark 6 Vol Three: Dark Humor

by SuperSaiyanDiclonius

Chapter 2: Lost Innocence Returned

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The pounding of his heart eclipsed the impact of his opponents fist smashing into the side of his face. He grabbed the offending fist and pulled his foe into a couterstrike in his teeth.

The other boy hit the ground clutching his bleeding mouth."Finish him!" Shouted their instructor, and he complied.

Climbing atop his opponent, he savagely beat the other boy in his face and body. Wings of blood had unfurled beside his head by the time he stopped.

The instructor came over and inspected the beaten boy. "...Dead. Pathetic."

The instructor turned his attention to the victor. "There were at least ten points where you could've ended this battle sooner, and far more where this fool could've defeated you. Take no pride in this victory, it is not worth remembering."

The aspirant nodded, and the instructor shooed him away like a stray dog. "Rest up and be ready for tomorrow. You will either die, or become an Eater of Worlds."

Aries' head pounded as he awoke. He brought up an arm to clutch his skull, only to be shocked at how small it was...before recalling the day's events.

The War Hound made mortal chuckled to himself. Now that the memory was fresh in his mind, he realized that he had become the exact same age as he was during the trial he had dreamed about. "It appears I remembered it after all."

"Funny how that works, isn't it." Aries started when he realized he wasn't alone. The other mortal boy was clad in pitch black bejeweled attire and his face was as pale as a Night Lord. Aries recognized him as Krae'Nakh.

"...How long?" Aries asked. "Since you passed out? Three hours. Twilight brought us to the home of her human counterpart. She is currently visiting the one called Sunset Shimmer while the others are being given tours of this world by their counterparts, the Ork travels with Fluttershy and his Snotling."

Aries looked around the room, it definitely felt like a younger version of Twilight lived here. Science literature adorned the bookcases, of which there were many. In fact, the only walls that weren't lined with books were those occupied by the girl's bed and a 3rd Millennium computer.

"Have we found any information regarding our task?" Aries asked. "Twilight will answer that when she returns."

Aries wanted to say more, but faint footsteps interrupted him. The door to the room opened, revealing a young girl that looked exactly like Twilight's human form, except that her hair was bound in a ponytail.

As soon as Aries saw her, he was dumbstruck. He couldn't stop staring at the teenager standing before him, she was just so...so...

"...uh are you alright?" The human Twilight asked him. Aries didn't answer...which brought a chuckle out of Krae'Nakh. "Hehehe, he never saw a woman until he became an Astartes. Part of the process includes removing his sex drive, so this is his first time noticing a young girl's beauty."

Twilight and Aries turned as red as a Blood Angel and turned away from each other. Aries, who was still laying in Twilight's bed, fell onto the floor in a tangle of blankets.

Krae'Nakh guffawed at the foolishness. "BE SILENT SCUM!!" Aries shouted.

"Hehehohohehe, very well. In the name of our continued cooperation, I'll attempt to refrain from acknowledging how humorous this is." The Eldar stated.

Aries snarled in embarrassed rage before turning his attention back to the other Twilight in an attempt to return to the task at hand.

...By the throne, she's cute when she's flustered... Aries shook his head in an attempt to clear his thoughts before concluding that he would have to keep his eyes on the girl's feet in order to address her. "Where may I find the Equestrian Twilight?"

"U-um, she's at the hospital. Visiting Sunset Shimmer." Twilight replied, fidgeting as she spoke. Her knees bending this way and that and drawing Aries' eyes up to her fluttering skirt before he suddenly found the ceiling very interesting.

"Where will I find this hospital?" Aries asked in as straight a voice as he could manage.

"I'll drive you there...just let me find something to put in the front seat."


"ZOGG IT ALL OOKNOSE! WHEN I KATCH YA, I'M GONNA POUND YA INTA SQUIGMEAT!!!" Greenskin shouted after the runaway Snot. Unlike the others who passed through the portal, Hooknose had not been transformed into a human, but rather a very hideous dog with snot colored fur, floppy ears, and an upper jaw that would've been longer than his lower jaw but for it sharing his nose's signature bend.

The Ork Gal had been walking the Snot Hound with the other Twilight's version of Spike and the two Fluttershys, who were now running behind Greenskin in a futile effort to keep up, when the beast suddenly bit into his leash and sliced it off.

The Snotling hadn't become any bigger, but his needle sharp teeth and frantic desire to bite everything ment it was only a matter of time before he hurt someone. Greenskin knew this, and was desperate to tie the chewed up leash back around the Shot's neck...and never walk him again.

"FLUDDASHOY!! I'M STARTIN' TA FINK DAT NOT KRUMPIN' DIS GIT IS MOR TROUBLE DAN IT'Z WERF!!! E JUS' WON' LISTEN!!!" The Ork Gal shouted over her shoulder as she ran.

Greenskin realized, with no small amount of concern, that Hooknose had turned just the tiniest bit to the right...where a group of friends was sitting on a bench eating something. "Oh no...oh no no no no. "COVAH UP YER FOOOOD!!!" The Ork Gal shouted.

The three girls turned to the ruckus with expressions of confused curiosity, which quickly turned to concern when the hideous Snot Dog lunged at the nearest one's hands.

"KYAAA! MY TACO!!" The girl shouted as she was robbed of her meal. Hooknose landed on the middle one's lap and bounded onto the third one who quickly shoved the vile beast off of her.

Hooknose had eaten roughly a third of his prize, the rest laid in pieces on the laps of the two girls he had jumped on...hence why he was turning around to attack them again.

"GOTCHA!!" Greenskin shouted in triumph as she pounced on the Snot Dog. Rolling a few times before landing and tying the leash around Hooknose's neck tight enough to make him go bug eyed. She then dragged the troublesome beast up to her face and scowled at him. "...I don' want ya ta do dis."

It seemed like Greenskin's attempt at the Stare had worked...until Hooknose bit the Ork Gal's protruding nose.

"YYYOOOOOOOOWWWWW!!!!!" Greenskin shrieked in pain and shock. Her humie body was a mite more sensitive than she was used to.

The Ork Gal had dropped the Snot Dog to soothe her throbbing nose. But fortunately, the others had caught up and Fluttershy was able to subdue the beast with her Stare.

"Oh no, is everycreature alright?" Fluttershy asked as she took in the scene...but Spike and the other Fluttershy were concerned for very different reasons.

The three girls that had been attacked by Hooknose stared at the latecomers with shocked familiarity that swiftly turned to hatred. "Was that mutt yours?" Asked the one with bright orange curly hair reaching down to her waist.

"He stole my taco!" Pouted another with blue on blue hair tied in a ponytail.

"And slung it all over us!" Added the third who had purple and cyan hair similar to Starlight's tied in pigtails.

"I am very sorry about this. We can pay for your food, righ-" It's at this point that Fluttershy noticed that her other self and Spike were both backing away fearfully. "Do...do you know them?"

"Hmph, so you're the one from Equestria, are you? I guess the Princess forgot to mention us. We're the Dazzlings." Said the leader of the trio.

Fluttershy shared her counterpart's expression now. Twilight had indeed told her and the others about the three sirens that had been banished to this world by Starswirl The Bearded a thousand years ago. Adagio Dazzle, Aria Blaze, and Sonata Dusk.

"Dazzlinz? Wut dat?" Greenskin asked as she finished having a fit over her nose, which was bleeding from five small wounds.

Fluttershy looked at Greenskin with concern, if she said the wrong thing, Greenskin was definitely gonna start a fight. Unfortunately, her other self didn't know that.

"They're evil sirens from Equestria tha-" "NOOO!!" Fluttershy warned her human self too late. Greenskin heard all she thought was important and punched Adagio in the face.

The other two sirens gaped in shock, allowing Greenskin an opening to grab Sonata and throw her onto Aria...or so she thought.

The Ork Gal lacked the monstrous strength of his true form. And while Sonata was the lightest of the Dazzlings, she was still too heavy for Greenskin to throw like a ragdoll. Instead, she pulled the smaller girl, and herself, off balance.

Aria capitalized immediately and caught the Ork Gal with a haymaker. Greenskin tumbled to the ground, once again caught off guard by his newfound sensitivity. Luckily, a lifetime in the Dark City meant that while he wasn't accustomed to this sort of pain, she had learned to adjust to new forms of pain very quickly.

Greenskin was back on her feet in time to grapple with Aria. The siren then introduced the Ork Gal to yet another new form of pain: hairpulling.

Luckily, Greenskin was more accustomed to sustained pains than sudden shocks of pain. And he was kunnin enough to realize that Aria had more hair than she did.

Greenskin grabbed one of the other girl's pigtails and pulled. Aria was not as accustomed to pain as Greenskin, and while the Ork Gal wasn't as strong as an Ork Boy, she was still stronger than the siren and could pull a lot harder.

Aria reeled back in an instinctive attempt to ease the pulling pressure on her scalp, allowing Greenskin enough room to throw a Toof Tayka.

True to its name, the savage punch to the jaw sent two or three of Aria's teeth flying as the Dazzling fell to the ground like a falling tree.

Greenskin surveyed the area. Adagio was still out after Greenskin's sucker punch, and Sonata was staring at the Ork Gal like a grot staring at a large hungry Squig.

Greenskin charged at her last opponent. "WAAA-" "STOP!!!" The Ork Gal skidded to a halt as Fluttershy jumped between her and Sonata, who had fallen to the ground in the fetal position. "Oy! What gives? Deze gitz!"

"They were gits. The other me didn't know enough about you to start with that." Fluttershy corrected.

"Oooohhhh...oops."


Twilight stood beside Sunset Shimmer. The former student of Celestia had to be sedated and strapped to her bed for own safety. The scabs on her eyelids cracked and bled anew as the young girl's eyes darted this way and that, ensuring that her self inflicted injuries would remain as permanent scars. "...sss..rrii...e's...eal...ssinnn...driii..."

Twilight had spent hours trying to figure out what her friend was saying to herself, what she had pieced together was "he's real...Sendrey."

Taking a smartphone that she had burrowed from this world's Rarity(who seemed to have several) Twilight opened the Google tab and searched the word 'Sendrey'.

Apparently, it was the name of an American Composer that had died in 2003...she didn't see the relevance.

Next, she tried 'Sendrey Warhammer 40k'. The two most relevant tabs were the Tarantula Sentry Gun and Vaul: the Aeldari God of Smithing. Vaul had been devoured by Slaanesh, but if Sunset had seen that Twilight was certain she would've said something closer. Then again, how does Vaul come up when I search for Sendrey?

Twilight was puzzling over what to try next when Sunset grabbed her arm and squeezed.

Twilight almost jumped out of her skin at the sudden contact and stared wide eyed at her traumatized friend's shocked expression. "...All power demands sacrifice..."

Twilight stared at her for a moment before bringing a loving hand to her friend's cheek. "We're going to help you, and we're going to stop whatever did this to you."

Sunset didn't respond for a moment, then she released Twilight and her eyes went back to darting to and fro.

Twilight watched the horrible sight with pity for a moment before googling the word 'All power demands sacrifice'.

The results were immediate, images of the star of Chaos, a Let's Play video for something called Dawn of War, and then...the first Wiki link: Sindri Myr.


Author's Note

And another done, I know a lot probably aren't going to fond of Aries suddenly having hormones, but the thought was just too funny.

I refer to Twilight's computer being from the 3rd Millennium because I think that would follow the same rules as the 21st Century.

And my fellow Dazzling fans need not worry, this isn't a one-off encounter.

Coming up next, the gang learns what they're up against, and get a clue on their enemy's intent.

That's all I got for this one, see you all next time.

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