The Long And Short Of It

Back when Anon was giving her the brushing of a lifetime, Nocturnal Pike was able to ignore that voice in her head. Sure, her colt was pampering her with a spa-day, but it wasn’t that unmarely; she was just getting clean!

Now, though?

The tub had been drained, and she was lying on the couch, with multiple towels wrapped around her. He’d even put a mud mask on her face!

‘Jeez all I’m missing is the cucumbers over my eyes and I’d be the spitting image of every colt I’ve ever seen at the spa.’

Which was painfully unmarely!

But oh, so very relaxing. She’d never felt so clean!

‘Oh mare, if anypony other than Anon saw me now…’

‘Thank Luna no one will.’

“Sorry there’s no cucumber for your eyes,” Anon said as he walked over to her, “But the one that it came with smelled suspicious, and I don’t trust that Quick Wit didn’t do something to it.”

Pike chuckled sarcastically. “What, like shove it up her cunt?”

Anon laughed, but the look on his face told her that was less absurd than he’d like. “Either way I threw that shit away. Now, time for your pedicure!”

‘A pedicure?! Aw mare… What will my guardsmares say!?’

Pike shrunk in on herself a bit. “D-do we have to do that?”

He looked between her and the file he’d pulled out. “I mean, do you not want to? I’ve never done something like this before, so if you want we can just skip to the tuft oil and stuff like that.”

It’d be better to just skip that part and move on. So what if it would probably feel nice? That was no reason to sign away her pride like that!

...She’d never really done more than basic hoofcare though, so it would probably feel really nice...

‘No! No.’

‘Just say, no, Pike.’

‘Getting a pedicure is the opposite of marely!’

‘JUST. SAY. NO.’

“A-actually, g-go ahead and do it.”

Anon shrugged, completely unaware of the screaming inside her head. “Sounds good to me.”

‘No no! We should stop!’

‘...but now he’s already started filing, might as well just let him finish this one right?’

‘Yeah, yeah!’

Pike settled on her plan of action: she’d let him do this one, and then after that she’d tell him to stop! Might as well prepare herself to—

“So Pike, I’ve been thinking, and I think we should talk about this.”

Her eyes widened a touch. Normally, a colt saying something like that would send cold panic through her veins. But in light of recent events and conversations...

“About herding?”

He ‘um-hmmed’ as he continued to smooth out her hoof.

“Well, what about it?”

He stopped briefly, likely surprised that she hadn’t opted to take the lead in the conversation. After some thought, and tapping the file against his head a few times, he figured out what he wanted to say and resumed the pedicure. “I guess... what happens to you in all this? You’ve thrown out the phrase ‘alpha’ quite a few times, but what does that actually mean?”

Ooh, that was a good question. And, thankfully for her, an easy one. “An alpha is the guiding hoof of the herd. The leader, more or less.”

He looked kind of surprised by that. “Oh really?” he said as he adjusted the file, “I would have assumed the stallion would be, being the linchpin and all.”

That got a loud laugh out of her. “Ha! No offense Anon, but most stallions are much too whimsical to be hoofed that kind of power.”

It's with no small amount of pride that she said that because, even though every mare knew it, 99.99% of stallions would flip if she’d told them that.

Not Anon though, his gaze just turned incredulous. “Really?” Before she could respond to that, he seemed to realize something. “Actually... yeaaaah, considering they act like living stereotypes, I can see it.”

‘Ha! A stallion finally admitted it!’

‘Although he is from another dimension, so does it really count?’

Pike put those thoughts aside for later. “The stallion also isn’t, or I guess I should say shouldn’t, be the ‘linchpin.’ In a healthy herd everypony cares for each other; it's not just a bunch of mares tied to the one stallion.”

Anon sighed, seemingly genuinely relieved. “Okay, that’s good. Because honestly I don’t think I could maintain more than one relationship like that if it were all up to me.”

‘Oh goodness gracious, why would he think that!?’

“Stars no! I don’t think anypony could handle that on their own.” As she said that, he finished working on her first forehoof. She hoofed him the next one without even thinking.

“So if you’re in charge, where does that leave me?”

‘Ooh mare, that’s kind of a tough one.’

She frowned and furrowed her brow, trying to figure out how to best explain it to somepony with no experience with it.

‘...Aha!’

“Think about it this way. Say, we as a herd were going somewhere. My job would be to lead the herd there, your job would be to make sure no one gets left behind along the way.”

His eyes lit up in understanding and he nodded his head. “Okay, I think I see what you mean.”

The two of them lapsed into silence after that. Anon was clearly mulling over what she’d said, and she was content to let him mull.

As they laid there in silence though, Pike couldn’t help but notice how... good her hoof felt. It seemed her earlier guess was spot on; allowing Anon to give her hooves that extra TLC went the extra mile. Aches and pains she’d grown so accustomed to that she hardly even noticed them were gone.

‘Worth it.’

“Aaaaaand done!” Anon declared as he pulled the file away.

Lifting her forehooves to her face, Pike gave them a closer look. As expected, they looked painfully colty. But they felt great!

“You know Anon, you might have a future as a spa pony!”

He smiles smugly, blowing hoof shavings off the file. “Oh really? You wouldn’t get jealous at the thought of me brushing other mares all day?”

She returned the smile with equal smugness, motioning him to begin working on one of her hind hooves. “I’m sure the castle could comp for daily ‘de-stressing’ trips. Plus, maybe you’d meet a nice mare while you’re working.”

Anon stuck out his tongue like he’d just eaten something foul. “Eeeeew, don’t say shit like that! Makes you sound like you’re my mom.”

‘What!?’

Pike made no attempt to hold her disbelieving laughter in. A mother, telling her son to go out and try to meet some mares? Luna above, whenever her brothers ever brought a mare home, her moms looked like they were going to bite his head off!

Her dad on the other hoof...

“Haha! You know, that is the sort of thing my dad would say.”

She said it before she realized exactly what it meant. While it was true, that really was something her dad would say to her. And admitting it meant she admitted that she was talking like her dad.

That killed her laughter nearly instantly. “Eeeeugh, yeah on second thought I’m never saying that again.”

He let out a snigger. “So, you’re looking forward to being an alpha?”

Pike attempted to puff out her chest, but the motion didn’t really work since she was lying down. “Of course! As the mareliest mare around, it’s my domestic calling!”

“Oh wait,” he asked, surprised, “You don’t just get the position by nature of being the first?”

Pike waved her hoof dismissively. “Oh no no no no! The alpha can be a mare who joins at any point. The only requirement for the alpha is that she is the one most willing to lead. AKA the mareliest. AKA—”

‘Aka NOT the kind of mare who gets a pedicure from her stallion.’

“—M-me.”

Anon, seemingly oblivious to the painful irony, nodded. “Makes sense to me. I can’t think of a mare marelier than you.”

‘Yeah Pike, you’re so marely you do more domestic jobs than he does.’

“R-right.”

Seemingly oblivious to her turmoil, Anon spoke up again. “Oh, yeah! I just remembered, Cut was saying you were talking about helping her be more marely?”

‘Yeah right, like you, the mare who just spent the day being pampered with an in-home spa kit meant for colts, could teach somepony about being marely.’

“Y-yeah. S-she seems like she could use the help.”

He smiled earnestly. “I think that’s really swell of you. Honestly by the sound of it, you’d make a good alpha.”

‘No you wouldn’t. An alpha is a position reserved for real mares!’

“T-thanks...”

By that point, he’d picked up the wavering in her voice and looked up from her hoof with concern. “You alright, hon?”

She wanted to say something but...

‘What, are you going to cry while he’s giving you a pedicure?’

‘To think you call yourself a mare!’

“I-I’m fine.”

It was as clear as day he didn’t believe her, but he conceded. “Alright, Pike. Just remember: the fact I was an alien eventually came out, whatever you don’t want to talk about will come out one day too.”

‘He’s right... maybe I should just…’

‘No! No. He was willing to accept you being submissive in the bedroom, but this!? Admitting you like being a little domestic!? Admitting you don’t like being a macho mare 24/7!?!?!? Admitting that that makes you a fraud?

‘A fake!? ‘

‘NOT A REAL MARE!?’

‘SHUT UP, THOUGHTS!’

It was only by the grace of all her years of training and lying that she was able to keep that internal debate off her face.

“I-It’s fine. I’ll tell you later.”

He shook his head disapprovingly. “You better. Don’t let it eat you up inside.”

‘AaaaaaAAAAAAAHHHHH HE’S RIGHT!’

‘QUICK! CHANGE THE SUBJECT!’

“S-so! About Cut! Uhhh, how have you enjoyed having her around?”

And hey, it worked! That change in topic was so abrupt and jarring that it totally crashed Anon’s train of thought! It crashed so hard, in fact, that his magic dropped the file.

“Oh uhhhhh, it's nice. I like it.”

Pike’s eyes widened a touch. He’d just hoofed her the perfect opportunity to make the sale.

‘Ha! Take that, inner voice! If I wasn’t a real mare, could I do this!?’

“And the stuff we do together, how do you like that?”

He hummed for a moment. “You mean normal hangout stuff? Well I guess she’s also been helping out around the house. And snuggling.”

‘It's working! Just a little more…!’

She fought to control her grin. “Aaaaand? Wouldn’t you like to do that every night?”

She could feel how much her offer was tempting him.

“W-well, I wouldn’t mind it.”

Pike’s smile turned smug. She didn’t say anything though; this was something he had to decide on his own.

“A-and with that in mind, now that I understand the idea of herding better...” His statement tailed off, and he took a deep, nervous breath. “I-I think I’d be open to trying.”

‘WOO HOO!’

With an unsuppressable “EEEEEE,” She leapt off the couch in joy, wrapping her hooves around his head in a hug.

“AAAGH!”

“Yes! Oh you won’t regret this, Anon! What do you want to do first? Got to a fancy dinner? Go out to see a show? Minesweeper!?”

“Mmmff hmm fmmm hmmm hrmmfrm.”

‘...what?’

Oh, right! He couldn’t talk with his face mashed into her tuft. Whoops!

Hopping off his face, she let him breathe once again. There was a deep blush on his face, which put one on hers as well.

Clearly, that moment he just spent amidst her tuft scent was having an effect on him. “Wow, that shampoo smells great... I-I mean, let’s, ahem, let’s just have her over and hang out again. S-something low key, for her.”

‘Right, this is Cut we’re talking about. Better to start small.’

“Right, right. I’ll leave the day and time up to you. Your first task as a herd stallion!”

Regaining a bit of control over his faculties, he straightened up. “Right! Sounds easy enough.”

After that he turned his attention to the forgotten file. “Well, now that that’s settled, want me to finish up your pedicure?”

Oooof, that put a damper on her mood. A real mare would say no. Buuuuuut, the hooves he’d trimmed did feel really good...

And she was officially an alpha now...

Sure Pike was an alpha who liked getting pampered, but did that really make a difference in the long run? After all, being an alpha was more pivotal to being a marely mare than getting her hooves done one time. Yeah, she’d get a pedicure, just this once!

It almost certainly wouldn’t be just this once.

With a reserved smile on her face, she answered. “Sure.”