The Long And Short Of It

As a groggy and somewhat annoyed Cut N. Paste slowly pried her eyes open, she was greeted by the sight of her clock proudly stating it was four A.M.

‘Aw mare!’

She’d been really hoping that wouldn’t be the case. Dejectedly, she let herself slump back into her pillow. It wasn’t all bad though, she supposed; the dream that had been interrupted wasn’t exactly a good one. Anon was just about to put on what he thought was Daring Do and the Temple of Baboons, but it was actually just another of her parents’ pornos.

‘...maybe waking up was a blessing.’

Now that she thought about it, she recalled the DVD’s case was the one straight out of a traumatic foalhood memory of seeing herself conceived. The thought of that made her grimace.

‘Yeah, definitely a blessing.’

‘Well, no reason to keep staying awake. Might as well close my eyes and drift away…’

...or at least Cut tried to, until some movement to the side made her eyes snap right back open.

‘Argh!’

Cut just barely suppressed the annoyed whine building in her throat. She shouldn’t have been surprised, this occurred every few nights.

‘I’ve got to get used to sleeping with other ponies already!’

If she kept waking up every time one of her partners shifted, she’d never get an uninterrupted night’s sleep. The longer she lay there though, the more apparent it became that whoever was next to her wasn't just shifting. Rolling over, she took a look at—‘oh sweet Celestia!’

Tossing and turning to Cut’s side was Anon, and something was wrong!

‘Guess I wasn't the only one having a nightmare. I’ve got to do something! But, what!?’

‘Uh uh uh!’

‘Well, there’s no reason not to try the tried and true!’

Timing it just right to avoid getting whacked in the face, Cut slid her hooves around Anon and proceeded to pull him into a tight hug. At first she was worried it wasn’t going to work, but the longer she held him, the more he seemed to calm down. Though he only fully stopped squirming when Cut felt Pike wrap her hooves around him as well. Leaning up over Anon to look at her, Cut was curious to see if his restlessness had woken her up too. But no, apparently sleeping Pike was just hankering for some hugs.

‘Great timing!’

With Anon thankfully settled, it was easy for Cut to just drift away...

When Cut N. Paste next came to, the sun was shining through the window and the smell of breakfast was in the air!

‘Mmmmm, what a way to wake up!’

‘Wait a minute, I can see the windows. That’s right where Anon’s head should be! If Anon’s gone, but there’s still a pony wrapped in my forelegs, then that means—’

Pike moaned contentedly. “Mmmm, squeeze me tighter, Anon~”

“Pike?”

The mare’s eyes shot open as she looked up at the earth pony. “Cut!?”

Pike quickly forced her way out of Cut’s hooves, scrambling backwards in an attempt to put some distance between the two of them. Unfortunately, she put a little too much distance between them, and before Cut could warn her, she’d fallen right off the side of the bed with an “EEEE!”

“Pike!?”

She recovered almost immediately, her head popping back up over the side of the bed while she rubbed a spot she likely just bumped on the way down. “I’m fine, just uhhh, ahem, forget I said that.”

Cut chuckled into her hoof as she nodded. It made sense, after all; being held tight by their coltfriend wasn’t very marely, but it sure felt nice...

“Wait,” started Pike with sudden concern. “If we're both in here, then who's cooking?”

‘Oh no.’

In an instant, both of them turned their eyes and ears toward the kitchen. Holding for a few moments, Cut listened for anything out of the ordinary.

“Well... I don’t hear the fire alarm.”

“Or any cursing,” added Pike.

Taking a few experimental sniffs, Cut couldn’t smell anything burning either. “Maybe we’re just being too hard on him?”

Pike herself was looking... proud? “I suppose he had to learn eventually.”

Nocturnal Pike was beaming with pride. After all this time, the lessons had finally paid off.

“Anon, this is amazing!”

Arrayed before her was quite the breakfast spread: eggs, bacon, Prench toast, pancakes—even some sausage!

And Anon was standing over it all, beaming at her praise. “I figured I’d put all those lessons to good use and treat my favorite ladies!”

Cut paused midway through piling stuff on her plate. “Ladies? But we’re not royalty...”

Pike gently elbowed Cut in the ribs as the thestral rolled her eyes. Cut got the hint, but…

“Oh! It's like a human thing! Uhhh, your efforts are appreciated, m’lord!”

Before Pike’s hoof had even made it to her face, Anon had started laughing. “Hahaha, thanks for the tip, Cut.”

The earth pony’s face reddened at the implication. “H-hey! I’ll have you know, I’ve never owned a sun hat! Even though I may have wanted one... at one point...”

‘Oh no, Cuuuuut!’

Pike shook her head at the mare, hoping she understood the profundity of her sin.

But a grinning Anon quickly derailed the sentiment. “Ha! Actually, now that I think about it, you’d look pretty cute in a wide-brimmed sun hat.”

Cut scrunched her face, and Pike did too.

“Really?” They both asked in unison.

“What!?” he said, defensively. “Think about it, she’d look great!”

Deciding she didn’t want to wait a moment longer, Pike began cutting into her Prench toast. “Okay Mr. Alien, next you're going to tell me I’d look good in a fly mask!”

He stopped for a moment, probably trying to picture just that. “Snirk. Okay, okay. You’ve made your point.”

After that, the conversation quieted as the three of them began eating in earnest. And Pike had to say, she was impressed! Nothing was burned, and the things that needed seasoning were seasoned well. Even the sausage seemed like it had a little something special added. As Pike continued to eat though, she realized more and more that something was off.

Not with the food, but with Anon.

Every so often, his eyes would pass over Pike’s and Cut’s plates, always lingering on one a little longer than the other. Whenever this happened, his brow furrowed and occasionally he’d mutter something under his breath.

“Is her’s bigger? No, no. Wait...”

Pike tried to ignore it at first, but after the fifth or sixth time, it became apparent that she ought to ask him about it. But before she could, his fork and knife flew over to Cut’s plate and he deftly sliced off a small portion of her pancake. Picking up the piece he cut, he immediately moved his fork and knife over to Pike’s plate. However, right as they reached it, he turned the fork on a dime and slammed the slice into his own mouth instead. Staring in momentary confusion, Pike realized he’d long since finished his pancake, which brought all the pieces of the puzzle together:

‘He was just scouting which of us he should steal from! Bah, typical stallion.’

“Tisk tisk, I thought you were above being a thief, Anon,” Pike chided.

A split second of something—relief?—flashed on his face before he fell into the expected smug defiance. “I made this food, so I reserve the right to help myself if I want!”

Cut N. Paste had just observed something very odd. It almost looked like Anon was about to give Pike a piece of her pancake, before changing his mind at the last minute. But why in Equestria would he do that? That probably wasn’t actually what he was doing and she was just over-analyzing it (as she was wont to do), but considering what'd happened a few days ago, she couldn’t help but be a little concerned.

‘Oh! That reminds me…’

“Hey, Anon?”

He turned to face her. “Hm?”

“Is something bothering you?”

He didn’t immediately answer, but he didn’t avoid eye contact either. “Why do you ask?”

‘Great, now I’m tempted to just wave it off. I don’t want to make them worry about waking me up in the middle of the night. It’s just a stupid me problem, nothing they should have to worry about.’

‘But Anon did seem pretty distressed…’

‘No, I should say something.’

Cut took a breath to steady herself. “You seemed like you were having a pretty bad nightmare last night. You were tossing and turning.”

He became visibly concerned and he cut her off. “I didn’t wake you up did I?”

‘Oh no, now he’s worried about me! This was supposed to be about him!’

“I-It’s fine! I’ve actually been waking up an awful lot! It’s just ‘cause I’m not used to, y-ya know…” Cut was unable to look Anon in the eye as her face burned with embarrassment. She knew they wouldn’t judge her, but the shame of admitting it persisted regardless. “Sleeping with other ponies in the same bed...”

“Oh!” cried Pike. Cut’s head snapped over to look at her so fast that she missed Anon’s relieved sigh at the change in conversation. “I have just the thing for that!”

Hopping off her seat, Pike sailed across the room over to one of the cabinets. Much to Cut’s surprise, Pike physically climbed into the cabinet, and the earth pony immediately started hearing the sounds of her rummaging around. After a few moments, Cut heard a muffled “Aha!” and the thestral emerged with a tin in her mouth. Sailing overhead, Pike dropped it in front of Cut before gliding back into her seat. Taking a look at what she’d dropped in front of her, Cut saw it was a tea tin. On the front of it was a thestral sleeping snugly under a half moon with the name “Comfy Nightshade” written above it.

“It's what we evening shifters use to adjust our sleeping schedules, should help you sleep through the night,” said a smiling Pike.

‘Oh wow, this sounds like just what I need!’

Curiosity driving her, Cut flipped over the tin to check the ingredients. Poppy, valerian, passionflower, lavender, and... NIGHTSHADE!? That last one nearly made her eyes bug out of her head.

Spotting Cut’s aghast expression, Pike spoke up. “Yeah, I was just about to say that you should probably only steep it for half as long as it recommends. If you were a thestral I’d say do the whole five minutes, but you won’t have the nightshade tolerance we do.”

Cut would probably start with even less than that if she was being honest. On the plus side though, if that didn’t help her sleep through the night, nothing would! “Thanks, Pike!”

“Of course,” she replied. “And let me know when you run out. Only a few mares in my detachment still use it, but we still get two dozen tins of the stuff every month. We’ve grown quite a stockpile.”

‘Phew, wow, that’s a load off my shoulders! I’ll be able to sleep much easier no—hey wait a minute! This has gotten completely off track.’

Turning back to Anon, Cut decided to put her metaphorical hoof down. “Anon, you didn’t answer my question.”

“Oh?” he said with a start, bolting upright in his seat. “Ahh, yeah I guess I didn’t.”

Looking Cut right in the eyes, he answered. “It was just a dumb nightmare, don’t worry about me, I’m fine.”

To any other pony, that would have been enough. He spoke his words evenly and didn’t dodge her gaze, making it seem like on the surface, he was completely fine.

But not to Cut. As she looked into his eyes, she saw the eyes she’d seen on herself many times before.

The eyes of a pony who, despite what they may have told others, or even themselves, was not fine.