The Long And Short Of It

A concerned and mildly frustrated Cut N. Paste had kept pushing Anon at breakfast, but she could only ask “are you sure?” so many times before she felt like she was starting to sound like a lunatic. So, much to her chagrin, she let the issue lie. The earth pony had committed herself to being on high alert though, watching Anon for any more signs of unwellness.

Unfortunately, Cut had been so preoccupied with that that she neglected to grab her lunch out of the icebox when she and Anon left for work. Which meant, much to her embarrassment, she had to go back to the apartment on her lunch break in order to grab it.

Upon arriving there, however, Cut was pleasantly surprised to find Pike was home. She appeared to be in the middle of cooking something, although why she was doing that instead of guarding the castle, Cut had no idea. She wasn’t about to complain though. After all, this gave her the perfect opportunity to get her thoughts about that morning.

“Hey Cut,” Pike said the moment Cut stepped into the room.

‘She didn’t even need to turn around to know it was me! Probably her thestral hearing.’

“Forget your lunch?”

Trotting over to the icebox, Cut popped the lip open to see her lunchbox right where she expected it to be. “Yeah...” the earth pony answered sheepishly.

Pike shrugged as she threw something into the mixing bowl she was working with. “It happens.”

Grabbing her box out of the box, Cut decided to indulge her curiosity and trot over to Pike in an attempt to see what she was making. As she got close though, Pike moved the bowl behind her in an attempt to conceal it. Considering her size, it’d be pretty easy for Cut to just lean over her to look at it, but she decided to humor her.

“Ah ah ah!” PIke chided, “This is meant to be a surprise, for both you and Anon!”

She probably could have guessed, but the confirmation was nice regardless. Cut let out a little “ooooh” and nodded her head, which Pike took as a sign she could resume her work without Cut peeking.

“We’re running night drills tonight so I had the afternoon off. I figured I’d leave you and Anon with a little something since you probably won’t see me ‘till tomorrow.”

‘Aw, how sweet of her! To think my initial impression of her would be so far from the truth!’

‘Speaking of Anon though…’

“By the way, did something seem off about Anon this morning?”

Pike chuckled a bit, which made Cut’s face burn. She seemed to pick up on that though, and gave Cut a gentle punch to the shoulder. “Oh don’t be like that. He said he was fine like, what, six or seven times? You’ve got to admit that still being worried after that seems a little silly.”

Cut instinctively rubbed the spot where Pike bopped her. “I know, I know it’s just... I can’t shake the feeling. The way he looked at me, a-and the thing with the pancake I—”

“Cut, Cut, Cut,” Pike said, cutting her off. Turning away from the bowl once more, she reached up a hoof to put it on Cut’s shoulder. “Here is a prime opportunity for a lesson in mareliness.”

‘Oh?’

Seeing no objection from Cut, Pike continued. “When dealing with mares, you don’t need to analyze their every word and action. Unlike stallions, they’re upfront with their problems. Something all mares should be.” Pulling her hoof off Cut’s shoulder, she got back to work. “That’s a huuuuge perk of dating Anon. He’s like a mare in many ways, including, if he has a problem he’s almost always upfront with it.”

What she was saying made sense, but Cut just couldn’t let go of that niggling feeling. Feeling or not, however, she was probably right.

‘Maybe I should just—’

That’s when Pike interrupted her thoughts. “But if you’re really certain something’s up, keep on keeping an eye out. And, if it’ll make you feel better, I’ll keep an eye out too. Don’t go searching for problems that aren’t necessarily there though.”

Cut couldn’t help but smile a bit; that really did make her feel better. If Pike was looking for it too and still didn’t see anything, then Cut could be sure she was just overanalyzing things. “Alright,” she said with a nod.

Pike smiled cheerily. “Great! Now if you wouldn’t mind, could you pass me the baking chocolate? It's on the high shelf and... well...”

A dead tired Nocturnal Pike was dragging herself up the stairs. She considered herself a mare of peak physicality, but even so, climbing the staircase to her apartment was proving to be a challenge. Luna, it must’ve been five AM!

‘Ugh.’

As perverse as it felt, the fact of the matter remained that Pike’s sleeping schedule wasn’t built for her to stay up so early.

‘Sorry, Princess.’

Pike couldn’t wait to get back to her bed and pass ou—

In an instant, the fatigue she was feeling was replaced by a massive burst of pure adrenaline. She was close to the apartment now, close enough that she could hear somepony shuffling about inside of it. There was no reason for Cut or Anon to be up at this hour, which left a very troubling possibility. Taking flight, Pike silently drifted over to the door of her apartment and prepared for the worst. Silently turning the door handle, she was surprised to find that the door was still locked.

‘Maybe it is Cut or Anon then, but why in Equestria would one of them be up?’

‘Oh, actually, now that I think about it, it's probably Cut. Comfy Nightshade tea probably isn’t strong enough after only steeping for two and a half minutes.’

Letting herself touch down and letting out a sigh of relief, Pike unlocked the door and entered without fear—only to see the opposite pony she’d been expecting.

“Anon!?”

‘Stars above what is he doing!?’

He was practically asleep on his hooves, his bleary eyed form shuffling like a zombie as he leaned into a broom that was apparently the source of the shuffling sound she’d heard earlier. The stallion was so out of it that he didn’t even immediately acknowledge that she’d addressed him! His head dragged itself up to look at her like it was a bag of sand, and it took several seconds of visible effort for his tired eyes to focus on the thestral.

When he finally did though, a wave of relief washed over him. “Oh thank—Ahem. Welcome home, honey!”

Still in a state of minor shock, Pike walked over to him. “Anon, what are you still doing up!?”

“I was... I was uhhhhh...” He was unable to answer, reduced to confusedly looking around the room for some sort of clue. Eventually though, his eyes feel upon the broom he’d leaned up against. “Oh! Right, I was sweeping! I thought the apartment was overdue for a sweep and just lost track of time! Silly old me!”

‘Oh Luna, Cut was absolutely right. How did I not see this!?’

“Anon, what’s bothering you?”

Despite his exhaustion, he jumped at that. “Wha- Nothing! I just got swept up in the fever of cleaning!”

‘Oh that is such a lie. Does he really think I’d fall for that?’

“You didn’t really think I’d belie—”

“Oh, speaking of time, it’s time for bed!”

Any further protests Pike had were immediately and totally eclipsed by what Anon did next:

He picked her up.

“EEEEE! ANON YOU KNOW I HATE BEING MAREHANDLED PUT ME DOWN!”

The absolute RAT didn’t even acknowledge her, simply carrying her off like she was his hoofbag!

‘UNBELIEVABLE!’

He yawned loudly. “I don’t know about you but I am beat! I think I’ll be out the moment my head hits the pillow!”

Violently thrashing around in his telekinetic grip, Pike could feel her frustration at being marehandled exponentially compound with her frustration at being unable to escape. “PUT ME DOWN THIS INSTANT!”

Surprisingly, her wish was granted. No later than had she shouted that, she found herself suddenly flung through the air, landing smack dab next to Cut on the bed.

‘Oh wow, she managed to sleep through all of that! Guess the tea did the trick.’

Just as Pike managed to regain her bearings after quite literally being tossed, she felt Anon hop into bed on the other side of her. “Now Ano—”

But her futile attempt to interject was cut off by a very unmarely sound, forced out of her by Anon when he immediately locked her into a hug-sandwich between himself and Cut. “Eeep!”

Without missing a beat, he pecked her on the forehead and closed his eyes. “Mwah. Night, hon!”

Pike squirmed in his grip hoping to worm her way out, but she was quite thoroughly stuck between the two of them. “Come on, Anon!” she whined.

It quickly became apparent, however, that he actually fell asleep the moment his head hit the pillow. Which, now that the cocktail of rage and adrenaline was departing her veins, she could sympathize with. The thestral yawned, further fading as the time of night and all of her earlier struggling rapidly caught up with her.

‘I suppose that since he’s already asleep, I might as well put off bugging him until tomorrow. Plus, he’s going to need the rest.’

Resigning herself to procrastination, Pike settled in for the night.

‘Huh, you know, I’ve gotta admit, being smooshed between Anon and Cut is very, VERY comfy…’