Sunburst was quietly grading his student’s homework, frowning slightly when one of them ended up with a low grade, when the box hit his fetlock and landed on the table beside him.

“Will you put this somewhere?” Starlight had returned from the bathroom and was standing in the doorway of his study, ears lowered and eyebrows knitting in annoyance.

He picked up the condoms with an embarrassed chuckle he couldn’t rein in, knowing by her tone—and the years he spent living with her since he got the job—that he was wading into dangerous territory. “I don’t know, it’s good for bathroom reading. Did you know that—” He picked up the box, ready to read off some fact printed on the back, when she cut him off.

“What if somepony comes over and sees?” Starlight urged.

“Alright, alright, my drawer or yours?”

His eyebrows rose and the teasing smile saturated his face before he could really help himself. Teasing and prodding her with his words had become one of his favorite pastimes as their relationship grew stronger, and seeing what reaction he got from her was his reward: a blush, a smile, a frown, a laugh or a glare; he learned what to say and do to get each of them.

“I don’t know,” she huffed as her face started to pink. “Why did you buy them anyway?”

This was still technically fun, watching her squirm with embarrassment of the act, but the fear was starting to lap at the back of his mind again. Oh, Luna, I’m asking for it.

“Well, we are having sex again, right?”

He might as well have blasted a hole on the floor underneath her, Starlight’s face faltering through a cycle of emotions that he couldn’t identify straight away. “I don’t know,” her voice came down in volume but not in tone, the fight still there.

“Unless it’s a no, we should be prepared,” he tilted the box at her before getting up from his chair. “I’ll put this in my drawer.” He was going to be true to his word since that answer seemed dangerous to him.

‘I don't know.’ Come on, Sunburst! You predicted that she’d need at least a week to figure this out and it’s barely been 48 hours…But it still hurts, doesn't it? And now you’re leaving, giving you a day to still influence this decision before you leave her alone with her thoughts for a week.

As he hit his doorway her voice came back, slamming his ears as it reverberated through the large hallway. “Why would you even want to have sex with me anyway!?”

He tossed the condoms on his bed so he could quickly turn back, ready to scoff in her face until he saw her trembling lip, her blue eyes watering. “What?” Was what he uttered instead.

Starlight stomped her hooves, pawing the ground as she wavered between the instinct to fight or flee—in the end, she stood her ground, her ears lowered in anger. “Yes, I’m fuckable now, but back then you wouldn't even look at me twice or say hi to me—”

“Okay,” Sunburst said quickly, already approaching her. “I’m not denying that I left.”

“Of course you did,” Starlight hissed. “And why wouldn’t you? There was nothing back at home except your overbearing family and a fat, bitter, ugly filly that hid her acne scars behind heavy makeup and stupid clothes so I don’t—” He wasn’t sure if it was his touch or the tears leaking from her eyes that cut her speech short, but he was tentative with his touch, barely grazing her shoulder.

“Again, I’m not arguing that those things didn’t happen while I was gone…” Sunburst desperately needed time to think since there he was, completely without a strategy. How could he assumed that this wouldn’t come back and bite him in the flank? How could he store away his memories of a troubled and lonely childhood and expect she’d do the same? By being a complete insensitive idiot, that's how. “…but I want to highlight the fact that it’s all in the past now. Not that that makes it any better.”

He watched with a racing heart as that didn’t seem to placate her, Starlight’s lips pressing into a thin and tight line before she erupted again. “You didn’t even write a letter, or even try to see me when you were in town.”

“I didn’t,” he admitted. There he was, in the same old trap. The norm was to try his best to clean this up enough so that it could be swept under the rug, not just with Starlight but with everypony. Except if I do that now I'm a hypocrite. I said I was done pretending—so why keep any more truths from her? He swallowed his embarrassment and fear as best he could. “Because I was scared of what you’d do.”

She was just as surprised as him to hear those words, Starlight gaping for a moment before she snapped her jaw shut, her lips pressed together tightly. He watched her as she ran the words through her head, lifting a hoof to wipe her tears hastily and sniffled. He could practically read the words on her face but her mouth refused to budge.

Sunburst took a trembling breath. “I was scared that you wouldn’t remember me—or worse, you’d laughed at me because a scrawny yearling with glasses and braces dared talk to you. You were so cool back then and I was...not, nothing special at all, I convinced myself that you moved on, that we might as well lived in different worlds with how dissimilar we were. The fact that you didn’t approach me either just reinforced that idea, but that wasn’t the case, was it?”

“So it’s my fault?” She snapped but he grabbed her hoof and forced her to take a step forward, gutting out most of her ranting.

“Not what I’m saying. Answer the question,” he murmured.

“No,” she groaned.

“Same.” His hoof cradled her fetlock gently and Starlight didn’t pull away as he spoke. “And I was looking, Starlight, more than twice, it was all I could do at the time because I had absolutely no self-confidence. I couldn’t even fight back when the ponies at school teased me, I could barely talk back to my mother, how would I even approach you?” His hoof was trembling and he squeezed hers to mitigate it, she didn’t seem to notice that he was practically clinging to her foreleg.

He knew he wasn’t forgiven, not with that knot tangled between her eyebrows, but she was listening and that left him with a sliver of hope to hold on to as he powered through his speech.

“I got tongue-tied whenever I saw you walking down the street, I once crashed into a streetlamp trying to catch a glimpse of you. My mom would talk about the crazy things you did while I was away and I was envious, stuck in my room doing summer homework to make up for my terrible grades while you were out there living life, and looking beautiful while you were at it. You looked so tough and confident, I felt like you would’ve steamrolled me if I got in your way. Half of the colts in Sire’s Hollow were wrapped around your tail, and I wasn’t the exception—I just happened to be the most spineless of the bunch.” Sunburst dared to step closer and nuzzle her cheek, bringing her hoof to his chest, and he was rewarded by the slight softening of her wrinkled brow. “I was a coward, and for what it’s worth, I’m sorry that I hurt you.”

“You should be,” Starlight said softly, but her stern eyes lowered to the stars on his cape, to the loose seems on the edges where time had worn it thin and she sighed deeply. “But…we were just a pair of insecure teenagers; we didn’t know any better.”

“Yeah,” he murmured uselessly because he knew this was it, the point where he was effortlessly going to pound his horseshoes into his mouth and ruin it. “But you’re not just upset about that, are you?” Anxiety was a snake strangling his heart as he watched her bristle again, her mouth shooting open to unleash another torrent. He waited for the yell but instead got the snap of her lips. Maybe this emboldened him or maybe he was letting the latent fear take him but the words rushed from his lips, “I should have just stopped you at the kissing, Starlight, I know I should have—”

“No,” Starlight didn’t even hesitate. “We both did that. It wasn’t just you, or just me.” That was the last of her courage as the rest of her voice withered into a whisper. “We both wanted more than just a kiss.”

Sunburst tried not to feel giddy but failed, his stomach dipping at the idea as the heat flooded his cheeks. Even as his brain filled with euphoria, Sunburst knew better, deciding to just swallow his words as he wrapped his foreleg around her in a hug, closing his eyes when she hugged him back without question.

“I was angry at you," Starlight mumbled against his shoulder, after a minute of silence, "I even came to resent you for the longest time, but I never hated you...even at my lowest, I couldn’t entertain the thought of something bad happening to you…not even for a second.”

Sunburst held her tighter and nodded since he didn’t know what to say. His words always failed him at moments like this. Starlight stayed there, letting him squeeze her for a few minutes before edging out of his embrace and heading back into the living room. Sunburst waited until he heard her turn on the radio before he went back to work.

When it came to packing, Sunburst like to leave things for the last minute. So instead of sitting and thinking about what he needed for said trip, his solution was to pack everything, that way he wouldn’t miss anything he might need.

Starlight watched him pack, but she could only watch fifteen minutes of him throwing things arbitrarily into a suitcase before she begrudgingly started to help him, something she suspected was his plan all along. Even as Starlight convinced him to leave half of his original luggage behind, he still was taking far too much for a weeklong trip, three large suitcases plus his saddlebags just seem like overkill to her—but then again, she was used to traveling light.

Starlight zipped closed his saddlebag and tossed it to him. Sunburst caught it and draped it over his back, but failed to strap it in place and he let it slip to the floor as he stared at her. “Starlight…”

“Yeah, yeah, you can thank me later for putting your bags together. I swear Sunburst, you—” She wanted to be playful but he stole it all away from her, his hoof cupping her cheek and pulling her in for a kiss that not only shocked her with its suddenness but with its desperation.

It took time for him to stop making insistent tugs on her lips and to pull away, his face just far enough from hers so he could talk. “Just…” Sunburst cleared his throat before letting his mouth agape slightly.

Starlight watched him with the dawning surety that he was suddenly at a loss. Why is he faltering now? What is it about this moment that he’s suddenly not sure anymore?

“Just?”

Another gravely sound grumbled in his throat before a shaky foreleg reached into her mane, clearing it from her face as if that were the problem. “Be here when I come back.”

She stared, eyes flitting from his slowly sobering smile to the crease in his forehead. “Where else would I go?” As her mind was slowly painting the picture for her, she could see him coming undone, with worry finally clouding his eyes.

“I'm not saying…” he sighed as his foreleg flexed above her neck before moving to touch her hair again. “Just, if you decide something, don’t do anything reckless…”

Starlight grabbed it and pressed it to her cheek. “No.”

“No?” He murmured back, the wrinkle in his forehead deepening.

“I'm telling you to stop.” Starlight tried to encourage his hoof, awkwardly rubbing his fetlock against her cheek until he caught on and let his hoof caress along her jaw.

“Stop what?” He was softly shaking his head and she was relieved to see the confusion starting to overturn the anxiety.

“You trusted me to tell you no when I didn’t want you to do something,” she stated matter of factly but there was a curl to her lip, the start of a smile. “I don’t want you to worry.”

A weak cough of a laugh tumbled from his mouth and the neediness suddenly whispered through her skin. He was reaching for her, moving with purpose as he leaned his forehead against hers to negate where he ended and she began. “You know how impossible that is, right?” he muttered.

The mare didn’t bother to answer right away, letting her touch speak for her as she nuzzled his cheek. “You better try,” she hid her smile against his golden fur, “or else you’re breaking a promise, Sunburst.”

“That’s a threat.” He laughed softly, letting it drift over her hair as he pressed his cheek to the top of her head. “Just a week.”

“You act as we’ve never been apart for longer than that,” she murmured as she closed her eyes and took in the heat and feel of his body. “I probably won’t even finish my lesson plans this week, so I don’t know what you’re worried about.”

“Your lesson plans will be done by Wednesday, tops.” Sunburst was chuckling again and she felt his muscles relax. He took a step back from her, eyes still strangely fogged with worry behind his glasses, but at least a smile was growing on his lips. “Don't miss me too much.”

“Stop,” she groaned as she started to push him away. He sneaked in one last nuzzle before relenting and reaching for his bags. It was a slow walk down to the foyer, Starlight glued close to his side until the last minute, giving him space to swing the front door open.

He looked over his shoulder at her, pausing to open his mouth for some last remark. Not that it mattered, she stole a kiss instead as she pushed him out the door.

Author's Note

I always found it funny that Starlight blamed cutie marks instead of blaming Sunburst himself for leaving her, I guess we saw a little bit of her resentment towards him during the Crystalling, but it was mostly set aside with all the action that was going on. I like to think that they properly talked it out somewhere off-screen, it's just one of the things that I feel they'd need to address if they decide to take things further.