Chuck Baleigh Goes to Ponyville (Read: "Mistake")

Chuck swiftly moved his leg and hit the horse's horn, causing the axe to fly out of its grip and into the face of one of the guard horses. The executioner horse was dazed from Chuck's attack, and tried to steady itself. Chuck got up as the blood began pouring out of the guard horse's split head, his body dropping to the ground.

"SUCK ON THAT, DICKWEED," Chuck taunted the corpse.

Not having time to mourn the loss of his comrade, the other guard horse made a swing with his hoof, trying to hit Chuck in the face. Chuck reacted quickly, dodging the hoof.

The executioner horse came back to its senses and picked up the axe again, ready to cut into Chuck. Chuck kicked the other guard horse in the face, causing him to stumble back. As the executioner horse readied to swing the axe again, Chuck formulated an idea. If he could turn around just as the executioner swung, the axe might hit the cuffs on Chuck and break them.

The executioner swung, and Chuck spun around just as the axe moved past his back.

*CHINK!*.

That did it. The cuffs were broken. Now Chuck could fight back.

The executioner, realizing his error, got frustrated and began swinging the axe violently, hoping he would hit Chuck. To dodge this, Chuck hit the floor and waited for the mad horse to come by him. The executioner wasn't paying attention to what he was doing, only focusing on swinging the axe. Once the horse got in range, Chuck tripped him by grabbing a hoof with his hand and pulling.

The horse hit the ground and the axe fell out of his levitate-y grip. Chuck, acting quickly, picked up the axe. He looked on the tripped horse with an evil glint in his eye before raising the axe up and chopping into the horse. The swing made a large opening in the horse's side, the blood and organs slowly gushing out.

The guard horse, having watched the whole scene in horror, tried to tackle Chuck to the ground. However, Chuck took notice as the horse came flying at him, and swung the axe. The force caused the axe to cut the horse clean in half, the blood splattering around the room. The two halves of the horse fell to the ground and lied there, a memento to Chuck's victory over the horses.

Chuck looked around the room, grinning evilly. Who knew killing stupid horses would be so fun? It was almost as good as his 19th wedding. Boy, was that a bloodbath. It was then that Chuck noticed something. Slipping out of one of the guard horse's armor pieces was...the gun. Well, whaddaya know. This stupid horse must've been the same one that took away his trusty revolver. Discarding the axe, Chuck walked over to the guard horse's corpse and picked up his favorite toy.

*KRRZT!*

God-DAMN that scared Chuck. Knowing immediately what the noise was, Chuck took the walkie-talkie out of his pocket.

"Sir, are *cough* you still there?" the familiar scientist's voice rang out from the walkie-talkie.

"WHY YES CHUCK IS. THANKS FOR ASKING," Chuck answered in the happy tone he used when experiencing a fresh kill.

"Sir, you have 10 minutes until *cough* you are brought back. Be prepared for that." And with that, the walkie-talkie buzzed and turned off.

10 minutes? Chuck broke open his gun again. Still 2 bullets, just like this morning. Killing the grape was out of the question now, but Chuck knew the omega-bitch was still here. Chuck checked his watch. 12:34. He'd have to do this quickly.

Wanting to make sure he shot and killed the omega-bitch, Chuck made his way out of the room. Oddly, no guards were out here. Maybe this part of the castle was so deep in that none of the horses heard the scuffle. Oh well. That just made Chuck's job easier.

Chuck wasn't sure where to go, so he just walked around the castle aimlessly, hoping to find the omega-bitch. As he did so, he snuck around guards and other horses, making sure he wasn't noticed. Chuck continuously checked his watch, making sure he was making good time. As he checked his watch during one occasion, Chuck bumped into something. He didn't have time to check what it was before someone started shouting.

"The prisoner escaped! All guards proceed in re-capturing him!"

Chuck looked up from his watch to see a guard fly right at him. Chuck ducked before the horse could grab him and ran for it. Last he checked, Chuck's watch said 12:39. He had 5 minutes. Time to search faster. Since he had been detected by a guard, Chuck was now able to sprint freely through the castle, making his search faster. Unfortunately, it also meant there would be several guards on his ass.

Chuck ran throughout the castle, dodging guard after guard as they attempted to capture him. Chuck payed more attention to his watch, however, and didn't even take note of where he was running. It wasn't long until he made it into what looked like a courtyard. And what luck! Omega-bitch was here! Chuck didn't know what she was doing, but he didn't care. All the guards tailing him wouldn't even be a problem now. All he had to do was take the shot, run a bit more, and he'd be home free.

Chuck checked his watch one last time. 12:43. One more minute. It was now or nothing. The omega-bitch immediately took notice of Chuck, as did the small crowd of stupid kid horses. Omega-bitch stood in front of the kids, preparing to fight Chuck.

Chuck, checking his watch one last time as the seconds counted down, grabbed his gun, took aim at omega-bitch, and fired.

...

...

Omega-bitch was still standing. She no longer had her tiara on, so that must be an indicator that Chuck hit it instead of her. Oh well. He still had one shot left. He took aim again, and-

*VWOOMP!*

...

What the Hell? Chuck took a look at his surroundings. He was back in his factory.

"FUCK! CHUCK ALMOST HAD HER!" Chuck stomped the ground in frustration.

"Sir! You've made it *cough* back!" the scientist who had conversed with him over the radio ran to Chuck.

"YEAH, WHAT ABOUT IT?"

"Were you successful? Were you *cough* able to sell anything?"

"FUCK YEAH. CHUCK MADE A FORTUNE OFF OF THOSE STUPID HORSES. HE CAN GUARANTEE HE WON'T BE NEEDING TO ADVERTISE MUCH FOR AWHILE."

The scientist looked at Chuck eagerly.

"Do you think...maybe since we sent *cough* you to a successful market...we could have a raise?" The scientist grinned sheepishly at Chuck.

Chuck gave the scientist a cold, hard stare. Then, using his last bullet, he shot and killed the scientist. Frustrated, Chuck began to leave the room.

"CLEAN UP THE CORPSE, YOU SHITS. CHUCK'S NOT GETTING ANY YOUNGER." Chuck yelled as the giant gate that led to the portal room shut behind him.