Episode 18: Dr. Whooves on the Daily Show

With The Corner Street Eatery now officially open, a few ponies were already starting to herd themselves into its cozy exterior of white fences surrounding giant mushrooms. Usually when one enters the establishment they are met right away by its owner who always liked to say hello to everyone who entered, giving their experience a little personal touch. Some patrons were surprised that ol’ Coatcheck wasn’t there to say his usual greeting; those same ponies were further surprised to find that the reason for this was because he was currently getting the order of a very famous human by the name of Jon Stewart.

Instead of approaching or trying to communicate, these early bird ponies allocated themselves to various tables to await their turn. Coatcheck noticed this and even though he wanted to help them as well he knew he couldn't leave the currently confused human without taking his order. It was only proper.

However an order would’ve been impossible to place at this point, since Jon had no idea what to order and the physical act of speaking was rendered untenable with this face planted on the surface of his mushroom table. Coatcheck reminded silent in the hopes that Jon would finally make a decision but when a third party of customers walked in he felt it only right to try and speed things along.

“Um... Mr. Stewart?” he asked. “Do you need more time to think about what you want?” His voice was somewhat anxious, a tone that Jon caught and responded accordingly.

“You know what? How ‘bout this,” Jon said as he gave the menu back to his pony waiter. “How about you give me two or three of the most unhealthy entrees on your menu!”

Taking the menu, Coatcheck did a quick equation in his head, but stopped short once he realized how odd the order was.

“Uh, why so much food at once?” he asked. Rather than explaining his logic, Jon simply stood on his feet so as to look down on his waiter friend. This show of height difference made Coatcheck realize what a slight difference of portions would mean to someone like Jon. “Ah, I see... in that case one chickpea sandwich with a side of broccoli, one large helping of eggplant spread with extra garlic bread, and one soybean stew.”

“That all sounds... great,” Jon said while at the same time making a note to later make a joke about Equestria being heaven for vegans on his show.

“Also, since you ordered the sandwich special you get two extra free sides,” Coatcheck explained. “A fruit salad and your choice of either soup or salad... which would you like?”

Since his order was already large enough to accommodate his appetite, he didn’t really care about his side order, so he went with the first option.

“Let’s keep things consistent, shall we,” Jon said. “I’ll have the soup.”

“Very good... now then there is one last order of business,” Coatcheck said while sporting a face like he wasn’t sure how to phrase his next question. “I realize you are not from this world and as such... well I’m not trying to imply you’re not prepared or anything like that but--”

“Oh come on Coatcheck, don’t mince words with me now,” Jon teased as he lighted jabbed his stomach. “Spit it out why don’t ya?”

“Well it’s just this is a rather large and... expensive order so... I wonder exactly how do you plan on paying for it?” Coatcheck finally asked. “I only ask because we don’t accept human money and we don’t exactly have the same credit system that you do, as far as I know.”

Pursing his lips in thought, Jon placed an elbow on the table to support his head as he thought about the implications of the situation. In his haste to meet up with Derpy’s significant other he forgot that he didn’t have any bits for which to pay for anything. This reminded him of the last time he was in a situation like this, it was when he took his wife on a dinner date in Canterlot. Turning his head to once again look at the Castle, Jon was reminded not only of how he handled that situation back then but of how his friend Celestia had refused to give Trixie the operation she so badly needed. These two independent thoughts are what fueled his next decision.

“I would like you to send the bill to my oh so lovely business partner Celestia,” Jon said with the most smug of smiles.

“Oh! Celestia will be paying for everything?” Coatcheck asked in surprised yet exciteful tone.

“Indeed she will, my good man.” Jon nodded his head. “As a matter of fact why don’t you go ahead and add a bottle of your finest wine to that order.”

“Ah, very good sir, very good!” Coatheck said. “Just as well that she pays too... I’m not trying to insinuate that you can’t afford my food I assure you!”

“That bad, huh?” Jon questioned as he rubbed his chin.

“Well this is a rather large order so yes, yes it is,” Coatcheck said. “I’d say this is the most expensive order I’ve ever written down for one individual.”

“Expensive huh?” Jon said as he quickly glanced back over at the castle. “In that case make it two bottles of wine.”

“A-are you certain?” Coatcheck asked. “I realize you’re a larger being than I but is it wise to be drinking at this hour?”

“Buddy if you knew the day I’ve been having you’d pour yourself a glass too,” Jon assured him as he gave him a very weak and forced smile.

“Very well then... two bottles of wine,” Coatcheck repeated as he produced a slip of paper from his pouch with columns meant for listing food and a tally at the very bottom. “Before we proceed I’ll need your signature and the account of her Royal Majesty so I can send the bill to her... do you know her forwarding number?”

“Yes I do!” Jon eagerly stated as he grabbed the paper and gave his signature. The number was given to him a while ago by Celestia and he was told he could use it whenever he wanted to purchase something while in her kingdom. However, in his haste for petty vengeance on his celestial friend, Jon accidently switched two of the numbers around, making it so instead of Celestia this massive bill that ranged in the triple digits went to the nurse pony who was taking care of Trixie.

“Okay! Everything seems to be in order,” Coatcheck commented as he took back the slip of paper. “Now I must warn you, since your order is quite large it will take a while for me to make and deliver it to you all at the same time. So for now I’m afraid you’ll be alone with your thoughts till I get back.” Jon was never one to get mad at waiters for taking the time to get his food ready, he knew the trials and tribulations of a server and always leaned for them taking their time if it meant his order was right. However this time was different, since he would have to wait he knew his mind would wander off as it usually did, this of course meant that he would just find himself dwelling on the events that had transpired that day. Which was, among other things, Trixie.

“Actually!” Jon called out to Coatcheck who was on his way to another table. “Better make that three bottles of wine.”