Fallout Equestria: A Wastelander Tale

Fallout Equestria: A Wastelander Tale, Chapter Seventy One

_______________________________________________________

The days then passed me by as I layed about, not able to lift a hoof. I wanted to, but couldn't find the strength. I knew I could, but couldn't. I couldn't talk or eat either. I just lacked the will to do anything.

Even after my surgery to reset my bones and the application of strong medication, I still could not will myself to move. Even as parts of my body boiled, scratched and burned, I didn't move, call out or cry.

It was like I was trapped in my own mind, a prisoner of a body that just couldn't.

But my friends stayed with me, watching me, and talking to me. Sparkling Delight and a few other changelings would visit me, and give me a bit of warmth. I felt better but not enough to do anything.

I just wanted to fade away and become nothing, yet here I was, a burden.

A mare then sat on my bed, her form like light itself. "Do you know what Venus root's original purpose was?" Persephone asked me, but I could not answer, not even thinking it out. "It was meant to be the ultimate ingredient to a love potion, cultivated by the Goddess of love herself." The Goddess of life and death answered for me.

The bed gave way and I fell, falling deep down into darkness until I gently fell into a grove. The same one with the altar made from the giant tree stump. But now there was a throne growing out of that stump, and sitting on it was Persephone with a mane of almost pure darkness with beautiful red flowers decorating it, and whose body was as pale as moonlight. No longer did she have vines draped over a colorful dress, but a long flowing dress that looked more shadow than cloth. Hovering just above her head and glowing with power was a tiara of the darkest black I had ever seen. Not dark, but more a void in reality itself, in which its spines were the warped reality that moved and pulsed around it.

"It always baffled me that the Aphrodite, who governed over love itself, would be the source of so much death and destruction. But when your doting father is the god of war, and even the other god's grovel at your own hooves, then you tend to lose perspective of the harm you can cause." Persephone frowned in annoyance. "Worse is that, as you ponies had forgotten, that love itself is a powerful magic, if not one of the most powerful magics in this world. And one easily perverted, as you have come to understand."

The curse on myself, I thought as I felt my will returning to me.

Persephone nodded. "One of many such curses that I now govern in this world." She waved her hoof and a plant with pink leaves formed, its thick roots twisting into the shape of a heart within a heart. "Once long ago, a griffin lost their partner, and along with them he lost his ability to love. For the griffin was once a passionate race filled with pride and honor. None of them would choose to live on without their chosen love. But for the sake of his young, this one did, and in time another came into their life, and fell in love with him. But he was cold, yet not uncaring, and could not deny this new love being given to him. So he prayed to Aphrodite, wishing for a way to expand his heart to another, and then she answered."

The Venus root burst into glitter dust, forming pink hearts all around. "Venus Root and the way to use it is what Aphrodite gave him, and through it he was able to love again." Persephone explained, but then the hearts multiplied, growing darker and darker until they were a deep sickly red. "But like medicine, when taken too much, it becomes a poison. A cure for a broken heart becomes the ingredient for a love potion, in turn is twisted into a curse that makes a whore out of the most chased of individuals."

"A Curse is but magic in overdose, where it is twisted into shapes of dark desire." Persephone continued, waving her hoof again and forming the mound maker. "Other times a curse comes about as simple unintended accidents through malice and fear." With another wave of her hoof the form of Mint appeared, surrounded by feral ghouls. The poor mare was holding a clump of green and blue mane, crying. "And then there are curses inflicted by one's own self through arrogance and self entitlement." From the darkness formed a twisted mare that I recognized from the Dukedom, it was Queen Chrysalis, and surrounding her were pony-like things obscured by green fire, being twisted into her own image."

I found the strength to stand up, and the strength to move my mouth. "Why… Why are you telling me this? Why would you care?"

"For I govern curses, and with them, those who are cursed." My eyes widened with realization, and the Goddess nodded. "From the moment Lethe had you drink the Will-o-Wisp, my eye was on you. When you broke the mound maker curse, my interest peaked. And when you embraced the cursed soul of the mound maker, my decision had become clear. To see your story through, to its bitter end, to its hope filled conclusion."

A question formed in my mind, but before I could ask, Persephone answered it. "Cure your curse? I certainly could, as certainly as I could place one upon you, or as I could reflect the curse back onto the one who carved it onto your flesh. But what would you sacrifice for me to do as such, what price would you pay. No, I think you would not wish to pay such a price, though as dim as you are, you are bright where it counts, and will choose to suffer then to pass that suffering onto another."

"Then tell me, why explain this when you only plan to watch?" I asked.

A smile crept from her muzzle, and I knew. All this, it was for her own entertainment. Nothing more, nothing less. "Correct, my little pony." Persephone confirmed my own thought. "But soon the threads of the curse will end, and this story will be able to reach its climax. So I want to see if you would do something different, to see if you could… surprise me."

I didn't like this, but there was no way I could say no to a Goddess. That or I was just hallucinating once more. Another mad dream.

"Maybe you are. Madness takes many forms, in which the mad never knows they are mad. Who knows, you could be but a brain in a jar, seeing the would others have chosen for you." Persephone told me, sending a cold chill up my spine at the thought of it.

The Goddess then sighed. "Mortal by the name of Lottery, when you face the curse of the Venus root, when you are given the option to cure yourself of it. You have several options unseen to you, options which have very different end results. By being ignorant of them, there is no way to access those options, and an opportunity is wasted. Though by just knowing that there are options, even if you know not what they are, you become empowered."

"I… don't understand." I said in confusion.

Persephone nodded. "That is the point, you are not to understand, you are to simply know that there are more than two options. More than two ways this story can end. One is that you rid the curse from you, and free yourself from endless lust. Or two, the curse consumes you, and you become a being of lust and debauchery, eventually turning into a brood mother of monsters. But there are more ways it can end, but only if you seek it. For a curse is but magic twisted, made into something wrong, but things twisted can be yet untwisted."

"So, you want me to… untwist the curse?" I asked.

But Persephone did not show any sign on her face that it is what she wanted or did not want. Only saying, "perhaps."

She was enjoying this, watching me run around confused and suffering. Even now I was but a small thing in the frog of her hoof, unable to understand.

"Correct my little mortal." Everything around me changed, and I found myself standing on the frog of Persephone's hoof. The hoof spread out infinitely as the goddess filled the sky, with her eyes larger than the moon as she looked down at me. "But let me correct you on one thing. I do not just enjoy the suffering, I enjoy the highs and lows. Your most hated moments, and the quiet ones you spent embraced by those who care for you. I watched you, for you interested me, as do so many others. And trust me when I say this, I, like any other mare, love a romantic ending. But such tales are boring if I must force them to my liking."

With a blink, I was surrounded by darkness, with only the sound of hooves trotting to me. It was a young mare with a golden mane that turned rose red at its tips, and behind her life bloomed. So many colors framed with a vibrant green. "As Kore, I ushered in life as the maiden of spring. Under the protection of my mother, I symbolized youth and purity. Though there are many others said to be more beautiful than I, of which I do agree, but no other goddesses was chased so passionately by others to catch my eye."

The beautiful and young mare trotted away, and another passed her and to me. She was a pale white pony covered in a black cloak, face obscured by shadows, but a tuff of a white mane that was red at the tips hung out. Behind her were brown and dry plants, all framed in pure white snow. "As Despoina, I am the Mistress, a maiden of secrets that symbolized the fear of the unknown. Often I am called the pale horse, the manifestation of the coming cold of death, for when the end of days come, I will be there to reap all that still lives."

As she passed, Persephone appeared as she had been before. "But I have always been Persephone, the Goddess of duality and contradictions. The one who ushered in life, and yet cursed the living to die. As I have, unlike the other gods, have always been a pony, and will always be one. Same as my beloved brother, the first god to choose mortality, to choose to become part of the cycle of life and death… and through it, I became the slayer of gods."

A tear rolled down the eye of Persephone, and it shined brightly like a star as it became a most beautiful jewel. "No, I don't wish to see you suffer, I don't enjoy seeing you in pain. I wish to see you grow, to overcome, and become better. For you ponies are all my brother's children, and all you are my family. And I look forward to the day when you can again honor the tradition that my brother started, and usher in the spring, and usher in the winter. All while singing such lovely songs."

She faded from view, leaving me with a sense of longing and sadness. "Wait, I don't understand?" I called out, but she didn't respond, and I knew she never would. Somehow I just knew this was the last time I would see Persephone. From here on, the gods were cutting my strings, and I was alone. I was free.

A freedom that left me feeling more vulnerable than I ever have felt in my life. Yet I knew I could stand on my own, for I knew there were those who believed in me and cared for me deeply.

_______________________________________________________

Slowly I opened up my eyes, finding myself in my room. Moving my legs I found that my whole body was sore, but also, felt better then it had been in a long time. I felt lighter, and more energetic.

As I got up I stretched my legs, making a racket of popping from my bones. Then my stomach grumbled, as to remind me that I had barely been eating in… three days I think. So first thing was to get something to eat.

Fortunately there was plenty of mutefruit available, so I began chowing down, now and then chugging some water. It all just tasted so good.

"Lottery!" Plasma said in shock, and then rushed over to give me a hug. "You're up, and eating. Are you feeling okay, any dark thoughts… wait no, just think of happy things okay!"

I gently pushed her back, as her hug was making it hard to eat. "I'm fine, just really hungry okay."

She let me go and let out a long sigh of relief. "Oh good, we were worried that you might need medical intervention soon. Since you didn't eat or drink anything. The changings had to drain you of everything just to get at the curse, and left you… well, empty. Even Sparkling couldn't bring you back, even after giving you everything she had. The act even caused her to mutate even further." A worried look formed on Plasma's face as she then said, "we even thought you were mutating as you lost your colors."

"My… colors?" I asked in confusion.

My friend nodded. "Ya, you literally turned gray. It actually caused a panic until Rattlebones showed up. He said that what was happening was natural. Well not so much as natural, but more just what happens to ponies when either our emotions or magic are drained. Old magic is really confusing. With arcano tech, I can program a spell matrix to play music, but with classical magic, I might as well be def and blind."

I looked at myself, seeing that my colors were quite normal. "Well, I'm better now… I hope."

"Well, mostly better. I mean you're stable and all, but…." Plasma said before explaining. "You're still going to need to take medication for a few months to treat the STD's, and the infection will likely stick around for a week at most. But the rest of your body is back in shape… well other than that, you know."

I placed a hoof over my left eye socket, and I still felt the eye there, though I knew it was gone.

Plasma then placed her head on my shoulder, almost nuzzling me as she let her weight rest on me. She was still so light and thin, that a strong breeze could knock her over, yet so strong and determined that she could still stand with me after all she had been through. "Lottery, I'm here for you, I know how you must feel. Having what they did to you, and… losing friends." Tears began to flow from her eyes. "I should have been there, I should have gone with Molo. But I was scared, the thought of going into a den of slavers and raiders… it terrified me."

Patting her on the back, tears began leaking from my eye. "I… don't blame you for anything. Not a damn thing. You understand."

"Oh dear, you two will make me cry if you keep that up." Sparkling Delight said from the doorway. The half changeling barely looked like the mare I had originally known, and hardly like a changeling either, though her mane was still the same. Her body was no longer black, but a deep dark blue, and without the holes through it. On top of her head were what looked like golden antlers, and from her back were translucent wings of emerald in color. She looked absolutely beautiful.

Stranger yet were the two changelings with her. They both looked a lot like Sparkling, if just a bit smaller, and without the mane.

Plasma backed away, wiping the tears from her eyes. "S… sorry." She apologized.

Sparkling rolled her eyes as she trotted in. "Oh stop apologizing now, you emotional bouncing ball." She then trotted up to me, placing her head to mine, and after a long moment, took a step back and smiled. "You're definitely better now, Lottery. Though I'm surprised that you got up on your own, since nothing I did seemed to help you. I was rather worried."

I shrugged. "Things just happened I guess." Then I pointed to the two mutilated changelings behind her. "What's up with them, is your condition, you know… contagious?"

She looked back at them for a moment, and the two seemed embarrassed by the accusation. "Ya, it surprises even me. They were actually feeding me love so that I could feed you it myself. The more they gave the more they changed. My brother even observed it, and he thinks it might not be a mutation, but possibly a natural reaction to giving love. Add my sudden fertility, Pharynx wants to see if these two can breed without the need for a surrogate. If he's right, it will change everything for us."

That was good to hear, to know that soon their cursed form would soon come to an end… wait, cursed, why did I think the changelings were cursed.

A pinch of pain in my head caused me to flinch, but it soon passed, but left me feeling a bit lightheaded."

"You okay, Lottery." Sparkling asked as she then looked me in my good eye.

"I'm fine." I told her as I gently pushed her back. "Probably just a bit of pain from not moving for so long. Anyways, did I miss anything?"

"Right, you've been out of the loop for a few days now." Sparkling then took a seat next to me, and levitated a glass of water over to herself. "You can get the details later, but I'll let you in on the important stuff. Like the assault on the Breaking Grounds being a success. Thanks to your destruction of their armory and killing off their leadership, Tripwire's forces could not rally or properly resupply. Along with Lucky Shot's destruction of the anti-air guns, it allowed us to prevent them from digging their hooves in defensively. So the battle was over rather quickly, though Flyright's bombing run caused many casualties before she was stopped."

Sparkling looked downtrodden as she mentioned the last part, as the deaths of many good ponies likely weighed heavy on her shoulders. "We haven't been able to give the dead a proper sendoff due to cleanup operations in the area. Though Tripwire's forces have been broken, the raiders are still running rampant, and causing as much chaos as possible." She then clenched her teeth in anger, then said. "The Bailfire Fiends know that even though we won, we have been weakened by the fight. They're doing what they can to keep us from fully recovering, even mocking us with our own dead."

The look in Sparkling's eyes was of deep sorrow, as though she wanted to tell me something, but desperately didn't want me to hear it.

It gave me a bad feeling, a real bad feeling.

"What did they do? Who did they hurt?" I felt something deeply wrong, but I needed to know. "Sparkling, tell me, is everypony okay? Is Wiretap alright? Is Grizzly-"

"Everypony is fine." She said, stopping my questions. "Mostly I mean. But… no, your going to find out sooner or later. It's Molo."

My body stiffened up as I grabbed Sparkling. "She's alive! How?"

But Sparkling shook her head. "No, Molo is not. But we were able to recover her body, it somehow managed to not get vaporized. But… Catalyst showed up and took it, and… they are hanging it over the Bailfire Fiends base."

I lost all strength in my body for a moment, then I was rejuvenated with rage. Sparkling reached out to hold my hoof, but I pulled away, and slammed my hoof on the bar, which left four gouge-like scratches in it. "Those… I'll kill them."

"Lottery, you need to think, what they want is you to be enraged." Sparkling said, attempting to calm me down.

But it only made me feel even worse. "Then why tell me, why?" I growled out at her.

Sparkling then sighed. "Because you're in no position to act right now, and the more time you have to think, the less likely you will run out and fall into their trap." Her antlers then began to glow, and a wave of calm washed over me. "Trust me, we all feel as upset as you do. But their actions are out of desperation, and not part of some grand scheme. More likely, they are buying Tripwire time to complete his true mezmetron."

"So you were going to just leave Molo's body with those cannibals?" I snarled.

"By Celestia no!" Sparkling protested. "And It's not just Molo's body. During the fight, they captured many ponies, and are holding them hostage. Mainly just civilians, but if we ignore them and let those raider do as they please, the reputation Grizzly has built up for Ursa's Rest over these months goes down the drain."

"Reputation, who cares about reputation!" I let out, with a raised and shaky voice.

But Sparkling remained calm, and explained to me. "Those who care about the future of Ursa's Rest. It's not like everypony has forgotten that this used to be a major hub for slavers, or that we supported Redeye's rise to power. And once Fillydelphia is finally cleansed of the slavers, where do you think everyone's eyes will turn next." She placed her hooves back onto my own, and again she forced me to be calm. "Lottery, we have a plan, and Grizzly wants you to be a part of it. But you must be of sound mind before we can truly consider taking you along."

I took a deep breath, finding my own calm. "Alright then, I'm calm. So tell me about this plan."

"Not yet. Well, not from me, I'm just here to check up on you. Grizzly actually wants to fill you in on her plan." She then let go of me. "But there is a pony you need to talk to first. Otherwise you cannot come."

I had a feeling I knew who it was. "Then let's go, before I change my mind."

A relieved Sparkling let out a long sigh. "Good, then I'll go talk to my sister, and Plasma can take you to see Mint." She then touched her head to mine again. "Again, I'm so happy to have you back with us, so please don't vanish like that again."

"I don't plan to ever let that happen again. You can trust me on that." I told her, and she backed off and trotted away.

"You sure you're feeling okay, Lottery?" Plasma nervously asked me. "I mean, you know."

Getting out of my seat, I gave my friend a hug. "Of cores not, how could anypony. But I'll get better. With you and the others with me, I know I'll get better."

"Same." Plasma said as she trembled in my hooves. "I feel the same."

_______________________________________________________

As I moved along, I found that Sparkling was right to tell me about Molo's body. It was still filled with pure anger to no end, but as I trotted, the more I thought about it. Like iron sharpening iron, I both understood that just running off would not help anypony, and that whatever Grizzly had in mind I wanted in on it. Who else would have the perfect plan for revenge then the mare who has had years to plot it.

Also as Plasm and I trotted through Ursa's Den, it was clear that tension was still in the air. The Breaking Grounds may have been broken, but the heart of the problem was still looming over us all. From what Plasma had told me, as ponies started to recover from the mind control, thanks to the anti-magic bomb testing, they would tell others about the mezmetrons and such. So they all knew, and though they wanted to go after Tripwire, the Bailfire Fiends had made sure to let everypony know, as soon as our guard was down, they would move in.

It would be the Braking Grounds all over again.

Arriving at one of the medical tents, we entered to see Mint, Aloe, and Basil tending to several ponies, and one griffin. They were checking bandages and asking questions, all while writing on a clipboard.

Seeing me, Mint signed through her mask and trotted over. "Oh thank Celestia your back on your hooves. If I had known that you would be thrown into such a deep state of depression, I would never have agreed to it. Are you feeling better, no negative thoughts or lissessness?"

I raised my hoof to stop her. "I'm fine, better actually. Not okay, but better. Actually I think those changelings ate all my old negative emotions too."

The ghoul shook her head disapprovingly as she trotted right up to me, taking a closer look at my face. "That's neither natural nor good for your health. If just removing your emotions or memories of your trauma worked, then we wouldn't have had such a problem with wartime stress disorder. Actually, it often made things worse."

"I feel fine Mint, but if you think it's still a problem, then I trust you." I told my friend.

She then pointed to a nearby cot, and I trotted over to it and sat down. The ghoul nurse then began doing the same kind of checkup as Doctor Helga often did. From checking my eye, mouth and ears, all except for taking a look at my privets, thankfully. "Any pain, or feeling of lightheadedness, how about intrusive thoughts?

"Nothing out of the norm, no. And my mind has been rather calm. Actually, I haven't had any though of sex or anything since the changelings."

"It won't last long." Plasma then said as she looked away, getting a quick glare from Mint.

"Unfortunately it's true." Mint then said, "but unlike when she first arrived, Plasma has managed to keep herself mostly decent. And amazingly enough, so has Silver. But even still, until the curse is lifted, all three of you still need to drink the concentration potion."

"About Silver, how is she doing?" I then asked, feeling curious about the sex addicted mare.

Mint shrugged. "She's a mix bag of problems, between her having little to no memory, to the curse, she swings between giddiness and depression. Benday has tried to help, but most of the work in dealing with Silver has been delegated to Sand Castle, another alicorn with a similar history of abuse."

"That makes sense." I said in agreement.

"But enough about other ponies, we need to focus on you." Mint refocused the conversation back to me as she pulled up a clipboard and a broken pencil. "Alright, before we go somewhere more private, I first need to check your mental state. Make sure your noggin has everything still in place."

I cocked an eyebrow. "You think I might have a few screws loose?"

"Lottery, if you didn't have a few screws loose after what you have been through, it would be a miracle. Your physical changes are overly concerning as it is." With the pencil, she poked at my swollen teat, which felt far better than it should have. "But Doctor Helga will go over that with you, so let's just focus on your brain."

I nodded, remembering how my body had changed, and how many times I lost myself. "Okay, I trust you."

"Alright then, we can start with something simple, word association. I say a word, and you tell me the first thing that comes to mind. You understand?" She told me.

"Ya, but how does this help?" I asked back.

"Ministry of Peace standard psychology evaluation. It has not failed to help me get the general headspace of a pony for over two hundred years. Not perfect, but good enough." She explained, which put me a bit at ease. "Okay, let's start with the word, Dog"

"Cat." I responded.

"House" she then said.

"Shelter." I said.

This went on for a while, one word then being exchanged with another, all while Mint wrote down on her clipboard. It eventually stopped, and the questions changed. "Now I'm going to make a statement, and you're going to tell me how much you agree or disagree with it, you understand?" I nodded. "Alright, the first one is this; Conflict is not in my nature."

I thought about it for a long moment, and then nodded, "I mean I never thought things would end up like this. I actually thought that all the bad ponies were gone when I first left home. Moronic right?"

"Lottery, nopony will blame you for wanting a better, safer Equestria." She then jolted down on her clipboard some more and then continued. "Now, I ain't given to relying on others."

Answering a few more questions, Mint then switched to showing me a few images, asking me what I see in them.

"That's… two Yao-Guai giving a hoof bump… wait, a claw bump would be more accurate." I answered the last one.

Mint looked confused for a moment as she muttered, "that's a first," before writing it down and putting her clipboard away. "Alright, from my experience, you're at least not unhinged or on the verge of a mental breakdown. Still there can be some underlying problems that have not surfaced yet, and sadly may not surface for years. But right now you're as mentally healthy as we can hope for, all things considered."

"What kind of… underlying problems?" I asked.

"Can't be sure right now, but depression is common. That's why it will be important for you to undergo counseling for the foreseeable future. Same for Plasma. That way if something like depression hits you, you'll be able to better deal with it." Mint explained.

"But until then, I'm good to go?" I hopefully asked.

She glared at me disapprovingly. "Lottery, I don't want you going off to do Celestia knows what until after you and I have had a private counseling session. Yes you're still sane, but you're far from stable. You understand?"

I nodded. "Ya, then let's get to it. The sooner this is over, the sooner I can get to work."

I watched as Mint's ears drooped, and a small huff of frustration left her muzzle. "I truly miss the old Equestria, where not only did none of this happen, but ponies had the time to properly heal. Alright, fortunately Aloe and Basil have things covered, so we can do it now. But promise me that once all this madness is over, we will make this a usual thing." She then eyed Plasma, "that goes for you too, miss sneaking off to the brothel!"

I then eyed Plasma as well, "really."

She rolled her eyes. "It was one time, and nothing happened… Well maybe a little bit happened with Low… but hay it's not my fault that working around sweaty rangers all day is a turn on for me!"

I face hoofed. "I'm calling it, Plasma is going to whore it up once the curse is lifted."

Mint let out a sigh. "I hope not, but she dose show the early signs of sex addiction."

"Oh come on, I'm not that bad!" Plasma protested, followed by the three of us laughing.

Truthfully, I didn't blame her. Even with the curse weakened, I still feel it, whispering in the back of my mind. Like it was hunger.

_______________________________________________________