Twilight Sparkle and the Stupid Original Pony

On the eleventh day after the establishment of the colony on Gallop, a portal opened.

Nobody was ready when people started pouring through, but two minutes later as thirty-nine newcomers stood blinking in the sunlight the shout had gone out. Colonists started gathering from around the settlement.

—

Eric from security stepped into the gap between the two groups.

“Welcome home, newcomers!” Ever since learning that Tanna might send more he’d practiced his welcome speech until he had it down pat. It wasn’t great oratory, but it was ready and he could reel it off without a thought. The President agreed with his theory that if they were fleeing the old world, a warm welcome would do much to set the tone for their integration. “Welcome to the planet Gallop, the furthest human… colony… um, the furthest… um, human… uh, welcome…” his speech petered out.

A full octave higher he asked, “Leslie?”

A young woman, no older than her mid-twenties had stepped out from among the newcomers. Solemnly she approached the now-silent greeter.

“Impossible,” he whispered. “How can you be here?”

“Magic. You do believe in magic, don’t you?” she asked.

“I didn’t,” was all he could squeak.

She took his hands.

“Tell me what changed your mind.”

“I can tell you later,” he croaked, still too surprised to speak.

“Tell me now.”

Refugees and colonists surround the couple, silent and captivated by the unexpected reunion taking place. Few had any inkling of what they were seeing but the intensity was obvious.

Swallowing until he found his voice, he told her about the landing.

“My cryopod thawed me while the Seven was on descent. Only a few of the emergency lights were working. I could see the stars through a hole in the hull, but we were already re-entering, the wind was whipping through the ship. I staggered up towards the flight deck but it was locked out; I could see devastation through the window. Security console told me the ship was being flown from the auxiliary bridge, someone was trying to get the ship down to the surface before it disintegrated, and they were failing. The passage towards auxiliary was blocked by damage, so I tried to get there by going outside the ship.”

“I overrode an airlock and crawled topside. As I watched, an inertial dampener exploded and they lost all the starboard attitude control and we started to tip. It was then that the golden light surrounded the ship. A giant unicorn with wings was suddenly standing on top of the ship, fighting to correct the list. Hooves larger than an orbital shuttle braced against the hull and brought us to an even keel.”

“I’m no pilot, but I could tell we were going too fast. Our savior spread her wings and they were golden and brilliant and bigger than the starship. They must have been kilometers wide, they filled the whole sky. She glided us down and the ship landed as light as a feather. About then I passed out – I think I had a touch of hypoxia.”

“Who was she?”

“Her name is Tanna, and she saved us all.”

Leslie smiled, still holding Eric’s hands.

“I met Tanna back home, for just a few minutes before she opened the portal that brought us here.”

“Write down everything that happened while you remember it well. She is part of our mythos.” Dr. Howe had arrived during Eric’s tale. Neither of the two before her even noticed her instructions.

“She did something magical for you and me, too,” Leslie said.

“For us?”

“Can we get married?

“Yes, by Gallop, I’m so sorry I left you behind and I’m so glad you’re here.”

“What’s Gallop?”

“That’s the name of this planet, Tanna named it. By rights we should have died; is it any wonder that our new home becomes our oath? For our most solemn undertakings we swear by Tanna’s hooves.”

“Then by Tanna’s hooves I need you to put a baby in me right now. Tanna made me into a real biofem.”

“And you want to get married?”

“Yes, but we can do that later.”

“Mr. Choi,” President Howe asked, “is this is the girl you told me about?”

“Yes’m.”

“I’m guessing she’s been in stasis for two centuries since we left?”

“Yes ma’am,” Leslie said.

“And you both want this, right?”

“Yes!” they both said.

“How soon?”

“Soon, soon, ma’am,” one answered, the other nodded vigorous agreement.

“Leslie, I already know how this lunk feels about you, he’s been moaning about it since before we lifted off Terra. Do you want to be a pioneer wife, spend your days barefoot and pregnant, working your sweet ass off to build civilization from scratch on a new world?”

“So help me Gallop, yes.”

“Bam!” Howe clapped her hands together with solemn finality “You are married. Says me, the president, paperwork to follow at my leisure and convenience. Now get going, and do your part to build our population! Was that fast enough?”

Mr. & Mrs. Choi nodded again, eyes bright with gladness.

“Ten seconds can change your whole world.”

—

“Diane.”

President Howe was watching the newlyweds as Eric led Leslie to Tanna’s shack where they would find a cot and start a family. She doubted they would take the time to unroll a sleeping bag for the deed.

“Eric Landers.”

She didn’t turn; she’d know that voice anywhere.

The one.

The one she’d left behind.

“When Tanna said she could take us to another world, I had no idea you would be on it.”

“What is Tanna to you?”

“She’s my little sister. I told you I had to stay behind just in case.”

“In case they thawed out more of your father?”

“A hero deserves to have his children cared for. Even a hero who didn’t quite save the world. I thought Tanna might make good his attempt.”

“Where is she, and Gloam and Isha?”

“Still on Terra. They didn’t make it through. Enforcers kicked down the door and opened fire while we were evacuating here. Tanna was supposed to follow us, she had to be the last one through the portal. It doesn’t look good.”

“What are ‘enforcers’? Were they shooting to kill?”

The chicken keeper was still stretched out on the ground.

“They’re the stormtroopers of today on Terra. Whatever they used, its non-lethal. Leslie and I had to drag this guy through when he got hit. He’s out cold but not dead. I’ve never seen a weapon like this.”

“I hope someone already called Doc ‘Quin. Let me talk to the people and then you and me need to catch up. Give me a hand up.”

With Eric’s support, President Howe stepped up onto a black cargo cube abandoned near where the portal had been. The ground was uneven, but the cube weighed so much that it rested stable on the slope of the berm.

“First of all, Chrissom—” she pointed at one of the colonists “—go find Diva Landers in the north field, make her sit down and then tell her that her dad is here. Jed, you go make sure ‘Quin is on her way. Now, newcomers, I am here to welcome you to planet Gallop. We’re so glad you’re here! We were so eager, in fact, for you to join us that Eric the security guy wrote a speech to welcome you. We weren’t counting on his girlfriend showing up today. You all saw what happened when he tried to give his speech!” A few people in the crowd laughed. “So now I get the pleasure of welcoming you while he’s off starting a family. I honestly don’t know which of us is having more fun,” she said merrily. The laughter this time was louder, more sincere.

“As you may know from your history books, I am Diane Howe, President of the Longshot Seven colony, and still alive here on Gallop despite what they taught you in school; most of us are! Let me tell you a little about your new home, but keep in mind it has only been a short time since we landed; landed, in fact, by the same young mage who brought you to this world, as you heard in Eric’s account of the tale. We all, including you my friends, have lot to do and a lot to learn. Let me start with some of what we know. As you may guess from our abbreviated attire, the climate here…”

—

An hour later, the newcomers had been teamed up with hosts who would help them get settled in and see that their needs were met.

Once Doc ‘Quin revived the chicken keeper, he was toast of the town. Within a year his chickens would establish a steady enough population to introduce eggs into the colonists’ diets. Everybody wanted to befriend him early; it was more attention than the ugly little man was used to.

One newcomer was left, standing with the colonist who would open her home to him.

“So, did you ever get a new girlfriend after I abandoned you? And if so did she escape in this crowd?”

“You followed your destiny, you didn’t abandon me. Anyway, I paid for Tanna’s mother’s (ahem) professional services for a few years to keep Tanna safe when she was a little boy. Other than that, no relationships. It took a lot out of me when I though that you, and Diva, and the kids, and Guy, were all dead or as good as dead.”

“Are we back together then?” she asked.

“Do you think those two are done with the shed?”

—

Light and dark limbs entwined in the temporary presidential quarters behind the rotunda.

“Is this better than the shed?” she asked.

“More comfortable I’m sure,” he admitted, “but it did take us longer to get here.”

“Oh, shush, you!” Diane shoved playfully against Eric’s chest. “If you can wait two hundred years for this—” she lifted her hips up, driving him deeper inside her “—you can wait two hundred years and seven minutes.”

“It was worth every second,” he said, “now that I’m back with you.” His voice was husky as he crossed the line to inevitability.

“You’re sure Tanna’s your sister and not your daughter?” she asked after his climax.

“I’m sure. Do you really care?”

“I guess I don’t. She could even be your lover and I’d be okay with that. I just want to understand how one girl can do so much for so many.”

“I wonder if the people in the world she’s trying to get to have any idea just what kind of person she really is.”

“They may never know the truth.”