Twilight Sparkle and the Stupid Original Pony

Knowing that it was, in fact, the end I wept in Isha’s embrace. In our smallness and grief we waited for death. We had lost everything, we were the only guests at our own funeral, and each second was the very last.

“Tanna,” Bear chided, “and Isha, pull yourselves together. I’m about to wake everyone.”

Bear’s apparatus hummed louder and then stopped before I could begin to process the information that Twilight and Gloam were alive to be wakened. Seconds later I could feel my toes again.

“I guess it’s not over yet,” I told Isha. Now that I could move, I crawled off her lap to check on Twilight and Gloam. “Bear, what were they shooting at us? By Hel’s cunt—” I shivered as though my name had been spoken in Éljúðnir “—I’ve no idea what they zapped us with.”

Twilight had tried to shield Gloam and had fallen across her; I shook her shoulder.

“Wake up you two, we’re not dead.”

Gloam was sobbing and Twilight looked baffled.

“Magic?” she asked, groggy.

“Technology,” Bear said as I held my daughter, “a rather impressive stunner ray, a dose of that should put you out for five or ten minutes. Long enough to get the victim in custody. The reversal ray is my own creation and there are no OpFo left on our floor to acquire custody. But they know where to find you, we need to move out.”

“Lovely stuff, that stunner thingie,” Discord groused as he stood up, “I thought I was dead for sure.”

“A world without chaos is death,” Twilight conceded was she joined me to wrap Gloam in a double-parent hug. “It’s okay, baby,” she whispered.

“And thank you for taking one for the team,” I told Discord, “you may have turned the battle by drawing their fire.”

“Remind me to have Crash kick me in the head instead, if I ever wish to suddenly become unconscious. I’m told it does wonders.”

“What’s a stunner ray?” I asked, “I’ve never heard of such a thing in real life.”

“Me neither,” said Bear, “but that’s what the user manual in the operator’s pocket called it. I got a high resolution scan of the pen-team before they experienced extreme existence ending. I suspect this weapon was the cargo delivered yesterday. Sorry it took so long to create the cure.”

He had apparently reverse engineered and counteracted a secret weapon in seconds and was apologizing for the delay.

“It’s sapped most of the power that I had recovered!” Twilight’s voice held surprise and dismay, “Discord?”

“Likewise.” He frowned. “I do not think that I like this world very much.”

“It’ll be at least another week before I can get us to Equestria!”

“I can reopen the portal to Gallop in about three days,” I said, “Bear, can we stay hidden for three days?”

“If you get out of the building, maybe I can keep you alive for three hours. Anything beyond that is luck, unreasonable amounts of it, until I have a breakthrough. I’m looking into a distraction, I don’t have enough compute online yet to break the military comsec. Try not to get killed and I will be in the system soon.”

“How do we get out?”

“There is a service lift in the utility column. I have it listed as inoperable and scrapped on the arcology manifest. Further, there is a transit tunnel exit not shown in the plans. The platform is slow, you have eight minutes until it gets to our level. You will need to kick a hole in the wall to the right of the toilet in your bathroom, the wallcrete panel to the side is not spec thickness.”

“Eight minutes? Do we have that long?”

A slight tremor passed through the floor beneath my feet.

“That was all four fully loaded lifts, full of enforcer troops, hitting the sub-basement after descending from the hundredth floor under two g’s acceleration. I think it will take the next wave more than eight minutes to climb a hundred flights of slippery stairs.”

“Why are the stairs slippery?” Twilight asked.

“Because the sprinklers are running in the stairwells and there is a traction denial surfactant added to the water.”

“Traction denial?” she asked, “some kind of slippery stuff?”

“Slick as cold mucus,” Bear explained, “think of thousands of litres of snot sliding down a hundred and thirty eight flights of stairs.”

“Oh Em Cee, how long will it take them to climb it?”

“Much longer than the amount of time they have. Tanna, please prepare for departure, we won’t be returning.”

“Gloam, grab your bug bag, this is it.”

My books were already safely in Equestria, but like Gloam I kept a small pack ready to grab. There were a few supplies, some survival tools, and potential trade items in it; I didn’t really care about anything I was leaving behind. My friends were coming with me.

—

Twilight, Gloam, Isha, Discord, and I sat in the centre of the utility lift. There were no railings, only safety tie downs for workers who might need to access the pipes, ducts, conduits and wave guides surrounding the void running through the core of the building. We wore no safety harnesses, so we stayed well away from the edges.

“Twi, could you send Gloam to Equestria without us?”

“I can probably do that much if Discord helps me, why?”

“Okay, listen Gloamie baby, if we send you ahead of us you need to get to Canterlot and tell Princess Celestia everything. Maybe she can rescue us.” I swallowed hard. “And if not, she’ll see that somepony takes care of you. You have to tell her that you are Twilight’s daughter.”

Gloam was holding me tight. “Mom, I don’t want to go without you.”

“I’m sorry, you might have to,” I said, returning her embrace. “Who can get her to her Highness Celestia fastest? Dash has speed on her side.”

“Rarity has contacts in court to get an emergency audience,” Twilight countered.

“Fluttershy,” Discord said.

“What?” Twilight and I asked in unison.

“Little human foal,” Discord ignored us and addressed himself to Gloam, “if we need to send you to Equestria before us, find the mare Fluttershy. She is kind and gentle. Tell her that we are in danger and that you must speak to Celestia. She will see to it that the princess hears you before an hour passes.”

“Will the princess be able to get mom and everyone?” she asked him.

“If anypony can, she is the one.” I wondered if he really felt that confident about his ex. “She is the most powerful pony currently in Equestria. But we might need you to bear the message to her. Can we count on you?”

Gloam enthusiastically gave the chaos salute.

“Yes, sir!”

I had no idea that Discord was so good with children. I’d have to mention it to Fluttershy if we made it home.

“Ok, Twilight, if we don’t do the Gloam-first play, do you have enough power to pony up you and me to make a run?

“Maybe?But that would be stretching it. I’m not very useful until we get to Equestria or else I get another week of recovery here.”

“How far do you think you can run full gallop carrying Gloam?”

“A kilometer maybe? I’m not an athlete. What about Isha?”

“I’ll carry Isha if needed, I’ve done it before. Honestly she can probably keep up with us – lookit those legs! If we make a run for the portal, stay about three lengths behind me and if you see me hit the wall instead of vanish, know that death comes soon and that I have loved you.”

“I don’t know your world, but before today I would have wondered if you’re over-reacting.”

“No, she’s not,” Isha interjected, “justice is often not an option for those of us at the bottom of the social hierarchy. I’m pleased to have met you, Twilight, and to have seen Tanna reunited with you. Discord, it’s been a pleasure meeting you too.” She shook his hand; he didn’t bother extending the handshake. It’s just as well he chose now to be serious: she had put on a sturdy sports bra before leaving my domicile for the last time.

“Are they really trying to kill us?” he asked.

“They tried pretty hard to capture us alive. We’re much better off if that doesn’t happen.”

“What the hell has the enforcers attacking in numbers like that?” Isha asked. “They’re acting like we’re a threat to the whole government.”

“Magic, maybe? Since the new leadership as been consolidating, there are rumors of a crackdown. Supposedly all of the state sanctioned sorcerers I used to research for were executed when Konig took power. And if they got any clue that we’ve been going off-world, that would do it.” Suddenly something clicked. “Oh.”

“‘Oh’, what?” she asked. “What did you do, Tanna?”

“Maybe they finally connected us with the death of Kay Jey Arr.”

“Good riddance to Konig’s fucking brat, but what does that have to do with us? He died years ago.”

“He tried to hit us on the road – early one morning. Don’t you remember?”

If Isha hadn’t already been sitting, she probably would have fallen right off her feet.

“That was? We killed? The supreme guide’s son?”

“I did, the rest of you are just guilty by association.”

“Did what, Tanna?” Twilight asked.

“I accidentally killed the ruler’s son. I was just trying to save our lives.”

“Why was he trying to kill you?” She frowned.

“’Cos we was there?”

“And the penalty for self-defense is death? Even for a child who did nothing?”

“Yes, but we managed to steal back several years of life that would have been randomly taken from us. And at least we did something to die for instead of being randomly murdered.”

Twilight’s face held dismay now.

“I told you this is Moloch’s world now. Gaia will rise against him, but not in time for us.”

“You told Twilight about Moloch and he came to rescue you anyway?That’s some devotion for ya.”

Isha raised a fist to Twilight and Twilight responded responded with a solid bump. For a moment they locked eyes, fists still pressed together in some wordless ritual. At least Isha smiled and drew back her hand, almost as if she had passed the torch to Twilight.

Did I just call myself a torch? It wasn’t for me to intrude on their exchange.

But there was still another matter that needed discussion.

“Ish, are you coming with us if we can make it or do you want to stay here and die? Please don’t choose death. We all want you to survive.”

“Well, as delightful as a futile last stand, torture, interrogation and death sound, let’s stick together. Any other crimes I should know about? What kind of desperado gang are we?”

“Uh, there was the theft of a kilogram of weapons grade computronium. Long time ago, I don’t suppose they know about that.”

“A kilo? There shouldn’t be that much of it on the planet. You mean Bear, right?”

I patted the satchel where I carried my favorite AI.

“I also do Windows,” he quipped. I could just imagine attaching a squeegee to him for cleaning glass. It was a silly joke with no depth to it, but a good effort for an AI.

“Or maybe they’re just mad at me for peeing off the roof.”

“Mom, you told me not to do that any more!”

“Tanna, I told you not to do that any more!”

Oops, I had just blown my own cover.

“Isha, you’re not the boss of me. Gloam, I am the boss of you.”

“Besides,” Twilight came to my defense, “it was warmish out, it probably evaporated before it reached the ground.”

“‘Dite help me, you were encouraging her?”

Bear broke in before Twilight could admit more details of our impromptu rooftop competition.

“I have a theory pertaining to the activities today.”

“Spill,” I said.

“Isha,” Bear asked, “did you see the wreckage of your own Jeeves unit in your domicile, or was it another unit?”

“Now that you mention it, the paint on the smashed one was the wrong grey by a quarter shade.”

“Our adversaries will not have found anything incriminating in your Jeeves, but it is very suggestive that they made such an effort to examine it.”

“They shut down an entire arcology just to get at Jeeves? Why?”

“It would appear so. Presumably in hopes of gaining intel on Tanna or myself before today’s raid.”

“Wait,” I barged in, “do the Ogs know about you?”

“They must suspect something. But there is nothing about their investigation anywhere in the networks, they are keeping it strictly offline, like those books of yours.”

“How do you know they are on your track?”

“If you don’t send your communications over the network, it is necessary to speak in person. Speaking in person, if you don’t trust the coms, involves traveling to meet. I am finding some interesting patterns in intelligence agency staff movements over the last few weeks. When several high ranking officers converge—”

“Too much cloak and dagger,” Isha complained. “But how do we escape if Twilight can’t take us?”

The lift ground to a halt at an access platform at the very root of my arcology.

“I was promised a favor,” I said, “you’ll need to trust me, we don’t have time for explanations. Bear, have you got us a distraction?”

“How does setting off every fire alarm in the world sound?” Sirens began to wail throughout the building, and presumably a much larger area. “I ask purely academically. Hydro dams are going off grid and bleeding off current in their sacrificial loads. I’ve scrammed all fission reactors, quenched the fusion plants, wind and solar plants are going into emergency storm mode, and I’m dumping the agrav bearings in kinetic energy storage. It’s going to get—” the lights went out “—like this. Any doubt of my existence has probably been settled.”

“Did your teddy bear just turn off the planet?”

Dim emergency lights switched on.

“I’m in the primary coms now,” he said, “and standing by to start crashing aircraft and deorbiting space assets if OpFo are not yet rendered ineffective.”

“Gaia save me,” Isha sounded like she was in shock.

“Zero civilian fatalities so far. I think I am keeping this pretty clean.” Bear spoke without emotion, but I knew full well the strength of his determination. I didn’t like to think how far he might go to protect me.

“Thank you, Bear. Minimize deaths, if you can. We’re not trying to destroy the world.”

“I will spare the innocent to the best of my finite but, not insubstantial, ability.”

Bear guided us to the transit tunnel exit and to the surface another kilometer away. According to his intel, the enforcers were still massing forces in a ring centred on our former home. Their losses raiding my domicile and in the elevators, as well as the impassible stairs, had taught them some caution, but would not much delay their next sortie.

“What happens when they reenter the arcology?”

“You do remember what you have learned about the arcology safety systems?”

“Yeah, sure, I go to the bi-yearly tenant refresher session. You always make sure I attend.”

“I’ve replaced the halon fire suppressant gas with liquid oxygen.”

“What’s gonna happen?”

“Iron burns at approximately two thousand degrees in pure oxygen. When the enforcers are ready to storm your floor, I will light the entire building up like fireworks on Government Day.”

“That should get their attention.”

“Tanna, we already have the Oligarchy’s full attention. Every military unit in a thousand kilometers is being scrambled after their initial capture attempt failed. Demolishing the building and flash incinerating a few hundred elite troops is not going to increase our threat profile.”

“What about the other residents?”

“None of them are home. Either they are all government agents, or they have all been discreetly detained elsewhere.”

“What do we do when the rest of the troops get to the city?”

“They won’t get here. I’ve just broken the encryption key on the shadow com system. I am C&C now.”

I didn’t ask what exactly would happen to the opposing forces.