Twilight Sparkle and the Stupid Original Pony
145-Convenience
Previous ChapterNext ChapterTwilight led the way through Canterlot Castle. As a former resident of said edifice, she knew every jog and passage, and took us by way of a less crowded path.
“Nopony comes here, but the cleaners,” she explained.
In a deserted hallway, we almost passed a pair of restrooms.
“I gotta go,” Gloam announced and disappeared into the mares’ room.
As soon as we had the corridor to ourselves I eagerly whispered to Twilight.
“Honey, did you see Gloam’s magic? It was incredible!”
“Yeah,” she chuckled. “One helluva juvenile power surge. And just in time.”
“Not just that. The colour, did you see it at all?”
“Silver? I saw just a flash of it. That’s a very respectable chroma. Perhaps even a touch fancier than yours truly.”
“I mean the shift. It started grey and turned silver!”
“No-no, no,” she dissembled, “uh, your eyes must have fooled you, that can’t happen.”
“She’s going to be really powerful,” I blathered on, regardless of her denial, “that’s what it means if a foal’s magic colour –uh, chroma– changes, right?”
“What the buck, Tangent? What the actual buck?” There was a hint of panic in her eyes. “You can’t know about that, who told you? Was it in the pony show you told me about?”
“No, you told me, one night back on Terra,” I said. “We were up all night trying to, uh, tone things down, and you were talking about magic the whole time, and told me about how your magic chroma changed from red to pink, and I called it rose.”
“I told you about that? I would never!”
“You did, you did and—”
“Me? A tribe traitor?”
“A what?” I asked, left cold by the implications of what she had said. She couldn't really mean—
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it like that.”
“How did you mean it, Princess?”
“Listen, spiritually speaking, all ponies are created equal, but—”
“But some ponies are more equal?”
“But,” she said, “there are some things that we don’t talk about with other tribes. Important stuff like a young unicorn’s chroma changing colours. Most unicorns don’t even know about that, there are very few families with that much power. And, yes, that means that she is probably going to be a prodigy. I doubt that’s news to you. But just because all the tribes have come together in equinanimity doesn’t mean that we form an amorphous monoculture. Our differences are important to us. And some of those sacred differences, we are taught to keep secret.”
“Okay, but don’t you remember me saying that I could help you better with research if you tell me everything.”
“Some of that ‘everything’ is very privileged information.”
“Information that I want.”
“You sure do like secrets,” she said.
“No, I hate them. You never know when one of them is going to ruin your life.” For example, I mused grimly, the Covenant of secrecy the holy one had pressed upon me. “I’m just good at them because I have to be.”
“Sorry, I guess you are kinda an exception. Outside the rules.”
“Like?” I asked.
“You weren’t born an earthpony, and you didn’t grow up learning their secrets. Stuff that you really should know, and I don’t know it, so I can’t teach you.”
And if I had learned a thing or two about what it really means to be an earthpony, by Twilight’s own logic it was none of her concern. Let alone, whether I really had any business learning those secrets.
“Princess, listen to me. I gave birth to a unicorn. I need to know about unicorns for her sake.”
“I can teach her everything she needs to know. After all, I was raised unicorn.”
“Do you really think I’m not going to do my part for her? I’m her mother for Frig’s sake.”
“Okay, you’re right, and I’m not going to let a bunch of old traditions get between you and me. Just don’t tell anypony? I already taught you that pegasus, er thing about the wingshoulders, didn’t I?”
“Yes, but if you’d like to give me a quiz later, you can test my learning.”
“Now you’re talking!”
I nickered happily as she rubbed her neck against mine.
“I’m sorry,” she said again, “if I sounded discriminatory. Imma go make sure Gloam hasn’t fallen in, she’s been in there a while.”
“Okay. Maybe give her a heads up not to talk about the chroma change.”
“Yeah. I’ll let her know not to talk about it to just anypony, but that we can confide in you.”
“Thank you, Princess.”
While I waited for Gloam and her father, a well dressed yak sauntered along the hallway. When he drew near he stopped and stared for an awkward moment.
“Can I help you, sir?” I finally asked.
“Not at all, my good stallion. I just wanted to get a look at you.”
“Çest moi?”
“My marefriend torments herself wondering what deeds you will perform in this land.”
“I am friend to all who support the throne of Equestria. Who is this friendly mare you speak of who misdoubts my presence? I would gladly assure her of my loyalty to the princesses.”
“You might know her already,” he observed. “A rather attractive lady, white coat, a multi-hued ethereally wafted pastel mane, and the sacred solar disk rests upon her shapely haunch.”
“Ah! Your Highness, I did not realize you were the Yakkul Prince!”
“I am the eleventh and youngest prince of a tiny country; I find myself in all ways quite satisfied with what will probably be a life long diplomatic mission. I am no future king.”
“It’s certainly a pleasure to meet you. I, too, was born elsewhere and hope to live out my days in Equestria, though here I am but a commoner.”
“The pleasure is mine, dear pony,” he said kindly, “and I assure you, 'my'—” it was easier for him to do air quotes with his cloven hooves “—princess outshines me at least as brightly as yours does, you.”
He spoke a few more words in Yakkish as he continued down the hallway. I was barely able to understand the dialect, grasping word roots without being able to parse the grammar. But I could have sworn a rough translation ignoring the honorifics would be, ‘thank you, may you die well’.
Standing alone as he walked away, I could hardly imagine what might precipitate such a benediction.
But I could certainly find common ground with him on the topic of being outshone by a princess. Twilight shines so very brightly! No matter how much I respected her knowledge, valued her friendship, admired her beauty, was sheltered by her strength, and desired her body, what it all boiled down to was awe. Awe of this one bookish adventurer who, second only to the reigning princess herself, was the very heart of Equestria. A pony like that I could almost worship, unworthy though I might be to even kiss the ground at her hooves. Yet she had sired my foal and chosen to share her life with me. I lost myself in dreams of what the future years of that lifetime of perfect unity might look like…
—
“Yoo hoo! Mom! Ground control to Mom!”
Gloam was waving her hoof in front of my face. They must have been in there talking unicorn business all this time.
“Did I hear you talking to someone out here, dear?” Twilight asked.
“Oh. Yeah. One of the nobles. And then I guess I spaced out. Are we ready to go?”
“Not quite. You’ll never guess what I found Gloam doing in the mares’ room.”
“Presumably not just going potty. Did she actually fall in again?”
Our daughter didn’t look especially damp.
“No, she was up on the sink-counter parading back and forth in front of the mirror.”
“That would have been my second guess,” I admitted.
“Stark naked,” Twilight added.
“Of course she was. I hope you hung up your clothes and didn’t just drop them on the floor of a public restroom!”
“Yes, Mom.”
“And why were you naked this time?”
Gloam swaggered as she said, “so I could get a better look at my cutie mark.”
Author's Note
e/h/t
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