Twilight Sparkle and the Stupid Original Pony

With Twilight to leaving, sans moi, on a friendship mission, today was a golden opportunity. Unwilling to waste the chance on a hangover day I forced myself to get moving. I needed to find out how things were going on Gallop and I really needed to let Eric know that I was alright.

First, I checked on my brother in law. Shining was done barfing, sleeping on the bathroom floor, cuddled up with one foreleg hugged around a toilet.

He was still wearing a strangely familiar police mare’s cap. He certainly hadn’t started the evening with any such accessory.

I flushed, washed up, and went looking for a couple of off duty guards to help me carry him to a spare bunk in the garrison quarters. I tossed the hat onto a convenient traffic cone before summoning enlisted ponies to move the general. It’s one thing to say that a high ranking officer is passed out. It’s another to say that he’s passed out and looks silly.

Before leaving the castle, I breakfasted on a hoofful of aspirin washed down with cold, black, coffee. I was wobbly enough that I didn’t dare sweeten it.

By mid-day I was feeling somewhat like a pony again. I finished my morning deliveries early, and set about gathering another load instead of heading to my scheduled lunch. Working in home delivery fit in with my plan to travel to another world without revealing my power. Nopony blinked an eye at my purchases – my bits were as good as the company cash I used for official transactions. Buying two whole barrels of cider raised eyebrows at Sweet Apple Hectares, but hopefully Applejack wouldn’t talk about it. With a good cartload of supplies, I took the forest road out of town. Alone in the woods I could open the portal without being seen.

“Goddesses and their machinations,” I sighed to myself.

—

On Gallop, it appeared to be late morning, and it was warmer than any of my previous trips. My original encampment looked largely unchanged. The fruit trees were taller, and the shack looked weather worn but otherwise there might have been no timeslip between worlds. Of course, beyond the trees I could see a growing city, much larger than the simple beachhead colony I had last seen.

The park itself was deserted other than one man hurrying across the open circle – he spotted me just as I saw him. He dropped his tools and ran towards me.

“Guy!”

“Tanna, you’re alive!”

We hugged a greeting.

“How is everybody?”

“Thriving! We are thriving! There have been over eighty births and only seven deaths. Diva and I have a third, now.”

I broke the hug when I felt something erecting behind the breachcloth that formed the bulk of his attire.

“Congratulations! And save that for Diva, big fella, you feel ready for number four,” I laughed as I slipped out of his embrace.

He chuckled and adjusted himself. “Who’s your blond friend?” he asked.

I certainly didn’t mean to bring any blond friends with me but I could make a pretty confident guess who it might be.

I looked back at my wagon and saw a muscular, bronzed, golden-haired amazon standing up from behind my cargo of cider. I was just opening my mouth to chastise her for sneaking along with me but as her shoulders rose above the top of the casks…

“Great googlie mooglies an’ lawks a marcy, a stow-away Apple, and lookit those gazoombas!”

“Gazoomba you Tangent Sparkle!” said Applejack as she turned slightly, pointing her substantial breasts directly at me, “why the buck are you a female?”

“Helloooooo, Apples, I am a mother, you’ve met my foal, it stands to figure I am a mare sometimes. Give me one good bucking reason not leave you here when I go home.”

Applejack grabbed her hat from behind the kegs where she had been hiding.

“Now why in tarnation would you even joke about doing that to me?”

She was climbing down from the cart – true blond, those pale curls didn’t hide anything.

“B- B- Because, uh, I have to keep my powers secret, for the safety of Equestria! This is important, dagnabit.”

“Who told you that?”

“The holy one told me, Applejack, my first time in Equestria, I—”

Awareness fell away before I could finish my sentence.

—

I woke to find myself lying face down on a soft surface.

“Boobies,” I mumbled.

“Y’okay down thar, sugarcube?” Applejack spoke in her rolling drawl.

“Yer smotherin’ me,” I said dreamily.

Applejack’s strong hands took my shoulders to lift me, but when I threw my arms around her and pulled my face back to her cleavage she didn’t resist.

“I didn’t ask ya to stop smotherin’ me,” I said from the warm depths, “What happened?”

“She spoke to me, the goddess did, through you, you did the blank eyes thing like Fluttershy does and everything. I ain’t gonna breathe a word of what I learned to nopony, nohow. She tol’ me a powerful lot o’ secrets, tol’ me that you serve under her command to save ‘Questria. And she tol’ me to take care of you when I can. So when she left and you were unconscious I tried to keep ya comfy.”

I rolled off of her, sat up. We were still on Gallop, lying in the shade of the firepit shelter.

“Hella comfy, thanks. Any message for me?”

“She says– uh, she says your obedience gives her faith that things jes’ might work out alright. But she didn’t say what things.”

What could this mean? I thought the holy one was above such worries.

“Was I out long?”

Applejack beamed as she answered, “Jes’ long enough for me to get used to it. The guy we met ran off to fetch some folks.”

“Guy is his name, hon. He’s married to my niece, I helped them land their starship on this world.”

“A star ship?”

Before I could tell her what little I knew about the history of spaceflight and interplanetary colonization, Dr. Howe appeared leading a group towards the shelter. I saw that the trend of little to no clothes was common. Howe herself wore an open demi-vest –which seemed to be more about pockets full of pens and pencils than covering her breasts because it didn’t really– and a narrow strip of fabric hanging from the front of her tool belt. Everybody seemed to wear a tool belt; whether they wore more seemed entirely a matter of individual preference.

“Dr. Howe,” I greeted her. “This is my friend Applejack.”

“Pleased, doc,” Applejack said, offering a hand.

“Just Diane, please.” She shook AJ’s hand and kissed me. “We’ve been so worried! You sent all those people through and never showed up. Your brother said that the ‘enforcers’ were after you, guns blazing. He ought be here soon, I sent a messenger for him when I heard you were here.”

“I’m fine, it was a little hairy for a while, but we all made it to Equestria.”

“Are Isha and Gloam safe?”

“Yes! Gloam is going to study magic at the School for Gifted Unicorns at the Royal Academy of Magic, and Ishaz is with a jungle alchemist, probably soon to be wed.”

“She’s not with you?”

“My husband returned at last, please tell me Eric mentioned that?”

“He mentioned, but I didn’t know how things worked out after nine years. I hope he had a good excuse for abandoning you.”

“How long has it been here since Eric arrived? A few years?”

“About four and a half l local years; five Terran years.”

“Sounds about right. I’ve only been in Equestria for five weeks, Diane. There’s a timeslip between this universe and the place where Equestria is.”

“Timeslip? So are you saying that you weren’t abandoned?”

“Far from it. Twilight came for me as soon as possible.”

“I shall update my opinion of Twilight. I must confess I have dreamt of nothing more than than to officiate your marriage to Isha and welcome your family to our colony.”

“That’s no longer necessary, or even possible. I am five weeks into ‘happily ever after’ and nothing will separate me from Twilight ever again. But I did need to let you know that we’re okay.”

“Thank you for coming to see us when you’re still getting acclimated to your happily ever after. We still have so much to learn, but we love,” she said the word fiercely, “our home.”

“Did everybody assimilate well?”

“Your artists? They have been priceless! Our cultures have grown together and we are much stronger. All the Longshot ships left with pre-written constitution based on what was politic vogue at launch time. Garny’s crew had a lot to say about what went wrong on Terra, and we had a handful of amendments to cover some specific failure modes in place by the second winter. Let’s go find Eric, I’m afraid I don’t have the greatest confidence in the young lady I asked to fetch him.”

Diane led Applejack and me towards the city that was springing up outside my circle of apple trees.

“Those trees ain’t look so happy,” Applejack groused as we left the park.

“Don’t be a sour apple, Apples,” I said, “I didn’t know what I was doing when I planted them.”

“Hold on, Tanna. Now miss, with a name like Applejack, and those apple tattoos of yours, may I assume you know a thing or two about apples?”

“Yes ma’am, Ah farm ‘bout three hunert hectares of apple orchard back home. I know you can’t control the climate, but these here’d do better with less basic soil, I can tell you that just by lookin’ at’m.”

“Would you be willing to consult with our head horticulturist? We appreciate the fruit they produce and want to take care of them.”

“It’d be mah pleasure to try ‘n help out. I hate to see apple trees not living up to their potential.” Her voice dropped to a mumble. “Them other trees too.”

At the edge of town Diane handed Applejack off to Annie Twogreen, the horticulturalist, with the admonition that Annie had three days to become an apple expert.

—

The city now consisted of a couple hundred hundred buildings; dwellings, workplaces, shops, and some light industry. I noted that native materials were organically intermixed with prefab panels and sections of ship hull. A few buildings appears to be made entirely of local wood and stone.

Diane smiled when she saw me looking around.

“Welcome to First City. Even though we picked the name before we left Terra, a lot of people wanted to change plans and name it after you.”

“I’m just a regular pony like everyone else…”

“We’re not ponies!” she laughed “I know what you mean, but you’re wrong. If I accept your argument that almost anybody would have tried to save us, it’s still true that not just anybody could save us. Please accept that we revere you.”

“Okay, okay, when do I pose for the statue?”

“We don’t have materials yet, but if you could let us get some photos we plan to put the statue in front of the capital building.”

“I was kidding.”

“I’m not, I’ll have one of the ladies grab a camera later and you can strike a pose. Did you bring any more high tech goodies?”

“Not this time. I haven’t dared visit Terra and technologically Equestria is a blend of the sixteen hundreds and the nineteen hundreds.”

“I’m not a historian, whats that mean in practical terms”

“Current predominant technologies are stuff like the electric light, telegraph, and chemical based cameras. Steam power and muscle power are still more common than internal combustion. High tech like Radio and TV exist, but are in their infancies, even the telegraph service is far from universal. Most ponies still use magic or fire for light, electricity is less common.”

“That’s fine, you’ve done more for us than we can ever repay.”

“It’s your blood, sweat, and tears that are building a civilization.”

“Other bodily fluids too!” she said merrily. “Our population is growing! Eighty-three births and two dozen families are currently expecting. What’s on the wagon?”

“Food and seeds mostly. I had no idea how well you’d be getting on here. Also a few barrels of hard cider. Party for all tomorrow?”

The rotunda itself was still an inflatable dome, now patched in several places. But more permanent structures had grown up for government functions, including a tidy little presidential residence, which Diane led us to.

“Approved! By presidential decree. And here’s your brother. Look who we found in Founder’s Park!”

“Tanna!” Eric jumped up from the console where he was working, knocking chairs over in his rush to sweep me into a bear hug, lifting my feet well clear of the ground. “I thought they got you!”

“Sorry for the wait, bro.” I held my arms around him, returned his hug. “This was my first chance, I’ve been busy in Equestria.”

Eric set me down again. “Five years busy?” he asked. “What’s going on, a fuckin’ world war?”

“Remember the timeslip? My first trip to Equestria was two weeks for me and two years on Terra. So yeah, it’s only been a few weeks for me since I helped you escape.”

“How did you get out? It looked pretty bad when you didn’t follow after us.”

“Bear caused a major chaos for a distraction.”

“What did you do, Bear?” Eric addressed himself to my satchel.

“I turned off every major source of electricity on the planet, dispersed most of the military, and took all government coms offline. For a few hours I was running the whole world except for the Enforcer foot solders chasing Tanna around the city.”

“That’d do it. And it takes three days before you can use the portal spell again?”

“Yes, sorta, it’s complicated. But the goddess of ponies had promised that her sister would aid me: Gaia herself opened a gate to Equestria next day after I sent you here.”

“Praise be! And thank you for saving my life. Far more importantly, to me at least, thank you for saving my daughter and grandkids and girlfriend.”

“It’s a small universe! Hey, wait, girlfriend?”

Diane Howe had sidled up to Eric and put her arm around him.

“I had a lot riding on that ship. And I never expected to see any of them again after the collision.”

“What are the odds of them heaving into orbit just when Isha and I were looking at the stars?”

“All fired up about some amateur astronomy?”

He laughed when I blushed.

“I thought so. Is Isha okay now that you and Twilight have reconnected?”

“She got over me. Suddenly! She and this witchy zebra mare fell for each other really hard. It was like divine matchmaking.”

“What happened?” asked Diane.

“When Aphrodite told Ish’ to keep her hands off me, the command was that Isha was to hold out for ‘even better’. Those were Zeccy’s first words when she met Isha. It was pretty much a forgone conclusion as soon as their eyes met. I think they’re just working out the details now.”

“I’m so glad for her,” Eric said. “I know she did a lot to keep you going, so I’m glad she didn’t get left out in the cold by your good fortune when you got back with Twilight.”

“Oh, and she turned into a stallion when we went to Equestria, so we call Isha ‘Ishaz’ now. Nopony knows why that happened, but I’m sure they’re gonna happy together.”

“How’s Gloam?”

“She’s great, she’s going to go to the School for Gifted Unicorns. She helped put down a rebellion and saved me and Twilight with magic and iron. She’s powerful – with no real training she came close to demolishing Canterlot Castle.”

“Give her a hug from uncle Eric, okay?”

“Um, actually no. I can’t. I have to keep my use of magic secret. Direct command from the goddess herself. So I can’t tell anypony I’ve been here, because if they start asking questions about my power it could lead to trouble.”

“What about Applejack?” Diane asked. “She obviously knows.”

“The goddess swore Apples to secrecy for our cause. I don’t have the authority to do that. Eric, I gotta ask you something.”

“Sure, Sis.”

“You were there. You lived through it. You remember. How many Longshot ships were really launched?”

Eric chuckled.

“Nine, as you’ve must have heard, judging from your question. For the first forty-ish years the news included updates for the remaining eight flights after the Seven was lost. And then Eight and Nine just faded and the news started talking about the launch as being seven ships with six surviving. As that generation died out, old records were ‘corrected, and within a century it was impossible to find any trace of the last two.”

“When Guy told me his sister was on the Nine, I about fainted.”

“I bet you did! There was a rumor before launch of an experimental propulsion system on two ships but whatever happened, it was well silenced. I don’t even have any hints to share.”

“That's some impressive security. I know you were well connected.”

“I guess I was. Hey, you should check in with Eric and Leslie.”

“Eric the security guy? Is he Leslie’s pre-launch boyfriend?”

“Yep, you should add pan-galactic matchmaker to your titles. They’re doing their best to create their own sub-colony of children born nine months and ten minutes apart.”