Twilight Sparkle and the Stupid Original Pony

“Now this is how we relax on Terra. Welcome to the World Wide Wet!”

At over three hundred hectares (the sign said) the WWW water-park was designed to comfortably host a quarter million splashing guests in a wonderland of rides and slides and the cool of the pools. Twilight and I had the place practically to ourselves. Understaffed as it was, we were outnumbered by the few employees we saw. As a rule, they looked lackadaisical enough that they might as well be the ones on vacation. Not a good idea to drown here.

“Hey, Twilight, you know how to swim, right?”

“Hmmm? Doesn’t everypony?”

“I’m just saying don’t look for a speedy rescue from a lifeguard if you sink.”

“No problem!”

Twilight flopped a innertube into the water and jumped into it. She shot right through the centre and straight to the bottom.

She floundered to the surface; I grabbed her hand, pulled her to the ladder where she climbed out of the water and retrieved the tube.

“I’m fine, fine,” she sputtered, “it just caught me by surprise. We don’t use this kind of floating apparatus back home. Let me figure it out.”

Standing at the water’s edge, she stuck one leg through the tube and jumped in before I could warn her. The result was predictable: I fished her out again as the tube floated away to be rounded up by automated maintenance devices.

“Show me how you use these demonic inflatable sphincters!” she demanded after a fourth failure.

I held a tube behind me and tipped myself back into the water. Twilight watched as I bobbed in the still water at the edge of the current.

“That looks easy,” she said and gave it a try: Twilight stuck her bum into the centre of a fresh innertube and fell back towards the water. With perfect grace, she landed, rebounded as the water lifted her in recoil from the impact, and flipped over. But she came up holding onto the tube – she was learning!

“I’ll get it right for sure this time.”

She did, and we drifted away, paddling slow circles around each other.

—

The Lazy River, a water ride consisting of broad channel of slow moving water, meandered for kilometers through many of the themed areas of the park. There was enough river for tens of thousands to float; the few other guests seemed to be favoring other activities, leaving the river near deserted.

We floated through an Alpine village, an outback station with animatronic kangaroos, the glowing fungal ruins of fabled old Moskostadt on the Volga Med-Arct Canal, scenes from all three volumes of Alice’s Wonderland, and several circles of Dante's Inferno.

Around the bend from Dis, a parking gyre spiraled slowly in a broad shallow bight off of the main river. In the old days hundreds of tube riders might have lingered here as guests waited for their party members who fell behind, took restroom breaks, or went ashore to fetch refreshments. Solitary, Twilight slowly spun in the centre while I paddled to the riverbank bar for drinks.

“Would you like to accompany me to the bar?” I called back to her.

“I’ll wait here,” she said, paddling her hands in opposite directions to spin in a circle. “Bring me something girly to drink.”

—

“Something fruity, fancy,” I said to the bartender, “and rum based for my beloved. I’ll have a gin and cola.”

“Need a leg spreader?” she asked, “I can whip up a drink that will have her so ready to go she’ll melt the crotch right out of her swimsuit.”

I could easily imagine that happening without alcoholic aid.

“Nah, friend, I’m in there,” I laughed. “I appreciate the offer, but we just want something to sip and enjoy while we drift along.”

I turned around to admire Twilight while I waited for drinks.

“I’ll be right back.”

Twilight’s innertube floated alone in the centre of the gyre, upside down and unoccupied.

“I got a sinker!” I called over my shoulder as I broke into a run.

The water in the gyre area was shallow, all she needed to do was—

Twilight stood, the water barely covering her breasts.

“I guess I’m not drowning after all,” she said as I reached her, “I totally meant to do that.”

I took her hand and led her back towards the bar to fetch our drinks.

“Thanks, uh, Lenora.” I paid for the drinks and pulled Twilight towards the tube racks.

“Lets grab a bigger tube and share it so I can stay close to you; we’ll ride together.”

“Sure.” She didn’t sound sure. “How do we both fit in?”

I flopped a larger tube into the water and fell backwards into it.

“You recline between my feet,” I said, “and put your feet on either side of me.”

“Got it,” she said, and climbed aboard.

We floated away, sipping our drinks. Gradually Twilight’s new distrust of the water succumbed to sun, rum, and perhaps even my company.

After drifting a while, Twilight closed her drink and clipped it to the side of the tube. She touched her pointer fingers to her thumbs, making two circles. Then she held them in front of her eyes like glasses.

“I cannot help but notice,” she spoke in stilted, stodgy, tones, “that our genitalia are in remarkably close proximity despite the fact that we are ostensibly decently attired for this nominally public setting.”

What a dork - how I love her!

Clipping my own drink pouch to the another innertube attachment point I ran my hand down her leg to her crotch. I slipped a finger inside her swimsuit and pulled the narrow strip of fabric aside, wondering why I hadn’t guided her to choose a bikini instead of the one-piece. She gasped as I caressed her labia. With my other hand I pulled the waist of my swimming trunks down until my penis flopped out. I hoisted my scrotum past the elastic and began stroking my cock in slow time with the rubbing of my fingers along her pussy. As I grew harder my fingertips parted her, approached her clitoris. Slowly, slowly, I rubbed and stroked, careful to keep my motions hidden below the rim of the innertube.

Twilight could barely maintain her dork voice without cracking up. “My goodness sir, what is your intention in this potentially compromising situation?”

Did this count as role play? I’d chance clinical terminology.

“My intent—” I mirrored her dork voice as best I could “—is to place my phallus inside your vagina and slowly coit until I ejaculate inside you with the purpose of mutual satisfaction. Naturally this course of action is entirely contingent upon your fully informed and entirely voluntary consent.”

“Your proposal sounds adequate and I am willing–” finally she bust out laughing, “oh Cee, Tangent, just do it!”

Attempting to ‘just do it’ I discovered that despite the apparent convenience of our genital juxtaposition, obtaining the correct angle to prosecute a successful entry was difficult.

“Uh, maybe just mutual digital stimulation?” I suggested.

“Nope, you promised me penetration and if you try to back out now I’m going to call for help!”

I wasn’t sure how that would work, but I tried again and found success.

Once my cock was comfortably ensconced in her pussy, I wiggled myself lower into the innertube. The springy tube held us together; by pushing against the far side with my legs I could stretch it enough to partially withdraw myself; relaxing my legs allowed the tube to pull us back together, burying me fully into the Princess of my dreams.

“This is gonna take teamwork. Can you push on the innertube too?”

Twilight shifted her feet to rest the soles on the side of the tube hole. Together we stretched and released the tube, establishing a rhythm together. Slowly, and with great satisfaction we took our sweet time working our way towards a crescendo.

“I eagerly await the co-mingling of our various fluids.” Twilight was still doing the dork-glasses thing with her fingers. I had one hand on her body, my thumb massaging a circle at the summit of her cleft.

A quiet plash of water alerted me to company nearby. Two grandmothers in stylishly revealing (as defined in the prudish early twenty five hundreds, which they might well personally remember) swim-wear were stealthily paddling their tubes towards us.

The nearer granny saw that I had noticed them. “I know what what you kiddies are dooooo-ing,” she cackled.

I froze.

“We’re busted,” Twilight said, “don’t stop.”

So be it.

“If you know.” I spoke between between the slow cycles of withdrawal and insertion “What we’re doing. We don’t need. To stop?”

“Don’t mind us if we enjoy the show. I haven’t gotten any action since my husband died in twenty five eighty eight!” the beldame continued as she paddled nearer.

“Edna, you lying cunt!” The other woman was catching up to her friend. “I know you’ve fucked more towel-boys than the ladies rugby team, and that's just this week. Don’t you kids believe a word she says, she hasn’t been married since twenty four hundred. But don’t feel obligated to stop. If she gives you any trouble I’ll pop her innertube!”

“Beulah, I’ll capsize you, you bony old–”

“Shut your trap, Edna, they’re about to come!”

The two batty voyeurs could watch the intimate details of our sex – they were close enough to peer over the innertube. But they were more interested in the exchange of sexual energy taking place between Twilight and me, than the mechanical interpolation of physical interfaces. The air between us sizzled. Twi’ took my free hand, held it in hers; there was no need to speak as we orgasmed together and all distractions were consumed in the mind blasting coruscations of infinite pleasure.

When the universe returned, Edna and Beulah were intently watching us.

“Sacre grand mal,” whispered Beulah.

“We thought we’d lost you two,” said Edna, “not that death by orgasm looked like a bad way to go.”

“Sun and Moon!” Twilight panted when her eyes uncrossed, “my brain about melted.” She had drool on her chin.

“I trust you ladies were not offended by our exhibition?” I continued to massage Twilight slowly with my thumb. She was too dazed with the residual waves of her climax to wipe her face.

“We’ve been doing this for years, and that was the best show we’ve ever seen. It’s a good thing you had me to keep Edna from trying to join in.”

“I’m sure a pro like her would have overwhelmed us both.”

“Haw haw!” Edna laughed, “normally, I’d offer to train you up for the purple Miss, but I can see you’ve got her number already!”

“My number?” Twilight asked.

“He knows what you like,” explained Beulah, pantomiming insertion by thrusting two fingers on one hand into her other fist. Pumping away with her hands, she kicked her feet to propel herself back upstream, “and exactly how you like it.”

“Yeah he does,” Twilight’s voice was dreamy.

“Don’t let this one get away from you, Princess,” advised Edna, paddling after her friend.

Waving goodbye to the funny old dears, we drifted quietly downstream.

“You were right, this is relaxing. Mmmmmmm.”

Afterglow with my beloved princess, the languorous gold of a dappled afternoon, a faintly hazy modicum of alcohol, and the gently flowing water took me to a place where I was almost too relaxed to move a muscle. I closed my eyes to enjoy a state nearing nirvana.

Peaceful warmth spread around me.

“Twilight?”

“Huh?”

“Did you just pee on me again?”

“Hmmm? Yeah…”