Twilight Sparkle and the Stupid Original Pony

Our exertions at, escaping from, and after,the water park had left me sleeping soundly, but I woke to the sound of Twilight weeping.

“What’s wrong, honey? Are you hurt? Did I do something wrong?”

“N-n-n-no, I’m just worried and a little home-sick,” she sniffled as I snuggled closer and gathered her into my arms. “I love being with you, I love being your lover, but what if Celestia expels me from my postdoctoral studies? What if she says I can’t be her student any more? What if she decides I’m not a princess anymore? I don’t care about the title or the crown, even the castle, but my wings! What if—”

Twilight was starting to panic and hyperventilate at the thought of losing her wings.

“Shhhhh, honey, honey, honey, you’re Twilighting!” I held her close “Don’t fret so much, lets talk about it calmly, alright?”

“Ok,” she sniffled.

“Has Celestia ever punished you harshly for anything you’ve ever done, even mistakes?”

“Never! But this time I disobeyed her.”

“Did you? What was her actual command?”

“She said I must comply with my sentence from the arcane justice department after my trial. No more dream magic.”

“Are you dreaming now? Did you come to me in a dream that night that we flew over the city?”

“N-n–”

“Is this a dream, my love?”

I ran my fingers up her leg, cupped soft flesh, gently brushed sensitive nerve endings; my mouth found the sweetness of her lips and I offered up what distraction I could from the toils of her nocturnal panic attack.

“Mmmm, I hope we’re not dreaming anymore,” she said after the kiss, “but I’m neglecting my duties in Equestria.”

“What are your duties? Aren’t you mostly a full time student, and a fixer for her Highness?”

“Fixer? What’s that? (Put your hand back there.)”

“When all Tartarus breaks loose, when blood rains from the sky, and when little Betsy’s kitty is stuck in the tree. You fix it.”

“Are you teasing me?” Twilight pouted.

“Neigh, but I would have you consider what you have done for Equestria. I bet you’ve saved the world over and over since the last adventure I know of.”

“Which was?”

“Stygian’s shadow and the pillars and Starswirl.”

“Oh, that was five years ago, you’ve missed a lot.”

“Well I hope I never miss another Twilight adventure, I want to be at your side!”

“Count on it, I’m sure you can tag along sometimes.” That wasn’t quite what I had in mind. “By the way, Starswirl isn’t anypony’s hero any more. Just sayin’. I’m not going to go into details. But there are still plenty of adventures to have.”

“And in between emergencies both dire and dull, some rest is needed. Like now.”

“I hope Celestia agrees. I’ve never taken a long personal break before.”

“Never? Doesn’t her Highness give you time off?”

“She does, and she’s always on my case about not using my PTO. And now I vanish for days and days and I didn’t even tell anypony I was leaving. I’ll be ruined if the Princess is disappointed in me for this. You should have seen what a wreck I was after my brother’s wedding. Even after being proven right in the end, her assumption that I was just being a brat about Cadance really hurt. I moped for a month after that.”

“I never understood how she could have doubted you. Yet another time you saved Equestria. And in spite of the fact that you suffered the most at her agency, you offered Chrysie the hoof of friendship after the hive was defeated.”

“That poor creature. I could almost hate the changeling tribe for being saved without her. Killing her, when we fought the new hive, broke my heart.”

“See what I mean? You are the most incredible pony for even caring about her, trying to save her.”

I’d have to ask about that revelation later.

“It’s just who I am. Friendship! And stuff. At least Celestia should have figured out that I went to your world. I hope that she can find me if there is an emergency.”

“Of course she can. Have faith in your teacher. Even if she has not always had enough faith in you. Now, about homesickness. Can’t I come live with you in Equestria? You know I don’t fit in here.”

“Do you really want to?”

“More than I can say.”

“We don’t have quantum ovens that can heat a frozen entree in zero seconds and mountain-tall buildings in Equestria.”

“I was ready to leave this world when I first met you—” please don’t let her ask exactly what I mean by that, I silently prayed “—and if I really miss those things, the engineering is already done, I’m sure it’s in a book somewhere.”

“Really? You’ll be mine forever?”

“I already am.”

“Squeee!”

I had almost fallen back to sleep when Twilight spoke again.

“Since when am I a verb?” she asked.

“Well there’s nopony else I would rather action.”

“What if I wasn’t a princess any more?”

“You could be a Sasquatch with a big hairy schlong and I would still love you and make love with you.”

“I don’t believe in Bighoof, but Pinkie could probably sell me some toys that would let me test the veracity of your boast. Or I could use magic and really surprise you.”

I rolled onto my stomach and spread my legs.

“Surprise away, just let me rest and use some lube.”

“Not tonight dear one,” she laughed, “I am saving my magic until I can bring you home. Once you are safely hidden away in Ponyville Castle I will delve into such arcane kink as will put me at risk of ejection from the college of magic.”

“I look forward to it,” I said with only the least bit of trepidation.

“But until then I want you to fuck me human-style as much as possible. And I’ve only had you once so far tonight!”