Twilight Sparkle and the Stupid Original Pony

Meanwhile, en route to the west coast of Equestria via a slow, scenic, train ride a yak prince enjoyed the late fall landscape. The triumphant final passage of Rachmaninhoof’s second concerto rattled out of the passenger car’s tinny PA system, contending with the clatter of wheels on tracks and the antics of playful foals.

Few yaks ever traveled so far from their northern homeland, yet another reason to appreciate being chosen as ambassador to Equestria. True, the glorious sights were a distant second to the love of the ineffable pony princess. Almost a goddess herself, it was beyond awesome that she had found a place in her heart for a mortal such as him. But when was love such as they shared, across age, across species, across stations, anything less than the touch of divine?

If only her heart were not troubled with other issues.

End of the world, or not, he was certain that she would feel much better once she had opened up to her student about a well meant oversight. If he was a betting yak, if such an individual even existed, he’d stake very strong odds that the princesses would both be happier once they talked everything out. Worst case, if the young princess did not forgive her mentor until the eventual reunion with her lover, surely matters would improve after that. Celestia could simply outlive their conflict.

Why hadn’t he thought to propose that she simply outlive his beard, as well?

—

Meanwhile, in Ponyville, five mares were having a brief meeting.

“Aintcha upset to be missing the air show with the Bolts?”

“Ugh, no. Last time I went to Coltifornia, somepony called me blue. And then he tried to pick me up, Ceesh. Tell me—” she reared and flared her wings “—does this look like ‘just blue’?”

“Welllll, sky blue, maybe like?”

“Don’t be crass. She is marvelouslyazure, darling.”

“Hmmph, tamat’r, tamaht’r.”

“Um, I was going to say cyan.”

“Or maybe cyanotic?” Pinkie leered and then made choking sound as if she was struggling for breath.

“Ew, no! That’s horrible, Pinkie!”

Dash barged between, thwacking Pinkie with her recovering wing. She need to work on getting the strength back, after all.

“Ouchth!” Pinkie said. She uncrossed her eyes and reeled in her protruding tongue. “That hurt!”

The wingstrike had knocked her backwards onto her rear and caused her to bite herself.

Now Applejack interposed.

“Cool it, Dash. Even if Pinkie’s a brat—”

“Hay! Who’s a brat?”

“—she ain’t as tough as you, so don’t bully no matter how much she deserves it.”

Rainbow Dash pushed –they both went down as Applejack tripped on Pinkie and hoofs flew.

“Who’s bullying—”

“I’ll show you who’s—”

“STOP!” Fluttershy shouted, her eyes closed and mane wild. The tussle ceased. “What is the matter with us, everypony?”

“Twilight.”

Rarity spoke calm and sad.

“Eh?” asked Pinkie from the bottom of the impromptu pony pile.

“We’re all so on edge trying to help her that we’re getting testy. Normally she would be the one we turn for guidance to but because she failed at the the thing that brought us all together, we have no centre. Think about it. We’ve been fetching books for her, we bring her meals, we’re covering her on-call time and Ponyville court and directing her domestic staff for her. But we’re all walking on eggshells, afraid to disturb her work. If we splinter, we’ll certainly be causing Twilight more disruption than we prevent.”

“So what you reckon we should do. We cain’t just stop helping her. Heck, she don’t even know how much help she needs.”

“Guys, what if we ask Glim-Glam? She’s pretty awsome at friendship now, and she outranks us.”

“No, dear, Twilight opened up to us in confidence. Who can say if we’re doing her any good, but the one thing we can definitely do for her is respect her privacy.”

“I agree,” Fluttershy said. “She’d be so embarrassed if the things she did ended up in the Ponyville Confidential.”

“Maybe if we—”

“Shut up, Pinkie,” everypony agreed.

“I’m certain that whatever you were going to bibity-babity about, would be the last thing we need in a crisis. And if we’re having a crisis, imagine what other ponies might be going through.”

The five, even the bibity-babity one, nodded in agreement.

“If we forget about friendship, we won’t be able to do her any good. Or anypony else. We must all pull together!”

Rarity delivered her summation as confidently as she could, in lieu of their actual leader.

“Now,” she said, “I believe some apologies are due.”

“I’m sorry for, um, shouting.”

“Goodness, not you, you were right to shout. I should have put my hoof down sooner. I meant certain other ponies.”

“I’m sorry fer jumpin’ ya, Dash.”

“I’m sorry I hit you, Pinkie.”

“I’m sorry you’re so fragile and easy to tease, Fluttershy.”

“Pinkie!” several voices rang out at once.

The brawl started all over again, but this time the pale yellow mare threw a helluva first kick. So much for “fragile”.

—

Meanwhile, in a damp cave, a grotesque parody of ponykind chuckled.

There was one individual she could not see, the lynch-pin of her plans, but the disruptions his movement caused were sufficient for her to intuit his position on the board. At the moment, the fool was beyond even her reach, but the force pulling him back to Equestria was implacable; dangerously so. The longer the two were apart, the more strange things might leak into the world from places between dimensions. Whatever crept in, it was no matter to her.He would eventually blunder into a critical spot. He alone would be able to defeat her plans. And he would fail.

After centuries, the pieces were gradually coming into position. No matter how long this had taken, she would beat the goddess at the great game and take what was hers. A push here, a nudge there, and the world –having become broken and deformed as her own body– would be her prize.

Yes, it was true, she never lied. And she had the ponies fooled.