Twilight Sparkle and the Stupid Original Pony

“Pecker out,” Isha commanded.

At her command he uncovered his groin.

“And try to relax, you came to the right place. The cult of Aphrodite has been curing junk rot for the last four thousand years. From the first time a Greek shepherd banged his livestock, or maid gave herself to a satyr, to now.”

He was still beet red with embarrassment, but Isha’s assertion gave him hope.

“In the old days,” Isha elaborated for my benefit, “half our patients would have been VD cases, I think this only the second one we’ve had in since you started helping me. What is your prognosis?”

The penis before me looked awful, and not just because it wasn’t attached to my Twilight. Bright red inflammation at the tip, an axis of hot agony extending down the centre of the shaft.

“Whatever he’s got is attacking the lining of his urethra. Blood in your urine?”

“Yes.”

“What did you fuck?”

“This is my first planet leave after re-upping with the Corps. A couple of the guys got me drunk and poured me in bed with– with a—”

“With a whore,” Isha finished for him. “It’s okay for you to be frank.”

“She seemed nice, and never asked for money.”

“Your buddies probably paid her when they set you up. Where do I find her? Did you catch her name? If she’s been infected long enough to be contagious, she’s in worse shape than you are.”

“I think her name was Nelly. She has a room above Havok’s Tun, a Marine bar down—”

“I know the place by reputation. You got this, Tanna.”

“Okay,” I said, “but are you leaving?”

“Honestly I’d rather take you with me, but I don´t want to keep Pvt. Parts waiting. Are you worried about being alone with him?”

“No, he won’t do anything.”

He wasn’t one to get violent with a woman, that was obvious to me. I could tell he was a good lad, and probably a lot less naïve about who he went drinking with than he had been a few days ago.

“Good, then I’m going. The girl needs help quickly.”

“Um, ma’am,” he said, “my mom always said that if I did something stupid and caught something, I should ask a priestess of Aphrodite to cure it.”

“You have done so, and this priestess has complete faith her understudy. You are in Mrs. Sparkle’s hands now.”

Isha stepped over the barrier rope and went to collect her clothes from a cubby. A moment later she was dressed and gone.

“I’m going to have to touch you,” I said when we were alone.

“Do you, uh, dislike penises?”

“I like my husband’s penis just fine. I just didn’t want to grab yours without warning. I can see you’re in a lot of pain.”

Careful as I was, he winced when I took him in hand. With skin to skin contact I got a better read of what was going on inside his body. I couldn't tell anything about the biology of whatever was attacking this poor schmuck’s wiener from the inside, but I could sense the damage it had wrought and feel his body’s fight against it. The flow of magic would turn the tide, boosting his immune system to exterminate the intruder and speeding the healing of inflamed, oozing, tissue. I whispered a prayer and began my work.

“By the grace of the goddess, I bring healing,” I intoned.

“This is your second time treating, uh—”

“I have cured more than the holy woman is aware of,” I said simply.

A moment later, “Is your last name really ‘Parts’?” I asked, by way of a distraction from the fact that I had my hands all over a stranger’s private parts.

Starting with the redness on his glans and working along his urethra, I allowed the goddess to guide me as her holy power healed and comforted. The exposed portion of wounded flesh surrounding the opening had lost its angry sheen and regained a peachy glow of health.

“Yeah. Boot camp was a real hoot with a name like that. Drill instructors thought it was hilarious. You can call me Mike.”

As I worked down the shaft I realized it was taking a lot more energy than I expected, fighting the infection along its path. Far more effort than the gonorrhea I had once cured under Isha’s supervision. I steeled myself to see this through, and centered my heart on the divine presence.

“Mike, I’m Tanna.”

By now most of the pain would be fading, and coupled with the stray energy upon me from my earlier patient, “You’ll prob—” his dick gave a twitch as it started to tumesce “—yeah. That.”

“I’m sorry!”

“Perfectly natural,” I said. “I can only imagine how much better you’re feeling right now.”

“Much better. Am I cured? I’ll never do anything that stupid again.”

“Not done yet, just the part that you could feel. Gotta wipe out the entire infection or it’ll just come back.”

I closed my eyes so I could focus on the depths of his urinary tract instead of the erection pointing at me. By now I had chased the infection entirely out of his cock; I released my grip upon it. I placed my hands on either side of the meaty shaft, continuing to trace inward along the path of harm. The mass of a gland surrounded the trail of urethral damage; my senses probed it deeper.

“Aw, shit.”

“What’s wrong?”

“It’s into your prostate and spreading towards your testes. This is worse than I thought.”

“Can you—?”

He left the question hanging.

“Yes. But I need to get closer in. Spit.”

I held out a hand.

“What?”

My gesture made it clear what I needed to do.

“Tanna, I’m sorry,” he said, “you don’t have to do this.”

“Yes, I do. If I don’t finish this now, it’ll get into your bloodstream. And then you’re toast. Spit.”

This time he did and I didn’t hesitate. Two saliva’d fingers buried in his ass, my other hand around his scrotum, I could channel healing force directly to where the remaining harm was. Everything that had been healed before now was secondary to the injury here. I prayed aloud for the strength to finish my task.

“Aphrodite, mistress of love, as we walk the path of healing together, let me be your hands, let your power fill me and succor your son. The sickness before us will be swept away and this man will be purified by our touch, your servant prays, amen.”

Her presence surrounded us and all I could feel was compassion, Aphrodite’s desire that her children would know sexual wellness that they might honor her as was her due. Her spirit guided me to roots of magic, deeper even than her own might. Now we would make him whole.

There was a surge of power, cleansing, tension, healing, and the goddess spoke to me.

He is clean and willing, she said, sate yourself as well, and be at peace.

“Please, no,” I begged, still speaking in the liturgical tongue. “Not like this.”

The goddess’s divine amusement suffused my awareness; awareness which faded away in a growing swell of magic.

—

“Did you find her?”

Mike looked up when Isha returned. He was sitting on the grass, not far from where Tanna lay.

“Yeah, she was in bad shape. I took care of the ick, whatever the fuck that was, but she’s in the hospital.”

“Tanna said my infection was worse than she thought.”

“It was bad stuff. The girl thinks she fucked an alien, and I believe it. What happened here? I can see that you are cleansed.”

“She had her hands on me and the pain stopped, but she said there was more, deeper, and she had to cure it all or it would kill me.”

Isha nodded. She could imagine where the unknown infectious organism might lodge itself in male anatomy. It was frankly amazing that Tanna had completed this task on her own.

“I can see she was successful.”

“How can you tell without, um—”

“Without the laying on of hands? I can see the divine afterglow around you, and by faith I know that if the goddess touched you, you are made clean. What happened next?

“And then Tanna said some stuff I didn’t understand, it was all Greek to me, I think she was praying. There was a brightness around us, I had to close my eyes.And then– and then I came all over. It was the longest orgasm I ever had, it felt holy. Tanna didn’t make a sound and I realized that I musta spooged all over a married woman, but when I opened my eyes, she was lying there perfectly clean. I just been waiting here since then.”

Tanna had been positively twitching with need and somehow she had performed a massive working without accepting any relief.

“Priestess?”

The cured Marine seemed thoughtful.

“Yes?”

“Would it be alright if I came back here, and attended services, once I’m out of the Corps?”

“Of course.”

—

Breathing was the first thing I noticed; my own.

Before opening myself to other senses, I focused inward. If I had harbored any doubt that the goddess had honored my plea, the need still reverberating through every taught nerve assured me she had.

I sat up and saw Isha and Mike sitting nearby as if they had been talking

“I guess that got a little lively,” Isha said to me. She looked slightly embarrassed. “I’m sorry for leaving you on your own; it was, indeed, worse than we thought.I commend you for being so determined and decisive. Through you, Aphrodite has touched this man’s life.”

I stood and bowed.

“Thank you, elder. I must go.”

“I will see you soon, Initiate.”

Yes, soon, maybe I could tell her about the magic I was researching on my own. It had nothing to do with healing the sexual misadventures of the flock.

But right now I needed to get my decisive determination domicileward to destroy a dildo before I detonated.