A Shadow of Myself

Celestia's carriage rolled through the streets of Canterlot. It was a remarkably smooth ride, without too many bumps. Sunset still felt bad for the earth ponies pulling the thing. Not for how heavy it was. Their strength was one of the hallmarks of their tribe. No, she just believed it to be degrading to have them treated as beasts of burden. They probably believed it to be some kind of honor, but she was hoping electric cars managed to cross over into Equestrian use in the coming decades and end this practice.

It was just her and Celestia. Her new history teacher had been deposited in a room in the castle to get some sleep in an actual bed. It would have been useful to have her along, but it wouldn't do to have her trying to navigate the politics of the school half-awake. Sunset was already more than a bit rusty at playing these games, and having both of them not bringing their A-game would put them in a compromised position. The current staff and prospective students from noble families would be on the lookout for any signs of weakness and lack of fitness from her, and she was not prepared to risk showing them any. A school might have been a much smaller arena than the one she once was accustomed to, but this wasn't just any school. Aside from the castle, this was the heart of Canterlot, and Canterlot was the seat of Equestrian power.

"We should be arriving momentarily," Celestia announced. "Are you sure you don't want me to stay after I introduce you to the heads of staff?"

"Your presence would make them believe I rely on you as a crutch. I appreciate the offer, but they need to understand from the start that I am the one calling the shots," Sunset answered.

Celestia gave her a flat look. "I do have the power to overrule any of your decisions."

"And I hope that you respect my judgment well enough that you don't cave in to pressure when ponies go running to you crying about how I do things."

The princess frowned. "I have already forwarded on your intentions to adjust the curriculum and that you would be opening the school to kirin as well. Knowing Jimpson Weed's background, I can already guess at how you intend to adjust the history curriculum. I'm already prepared for the endless strings of protest from staff and parents that you are teaching sedition. The inclusion of kirin was met with the reluctance I expected, and the announcement did go out late, but you may see a few late applicants from that tribe. I've been assured they will get a fair assessment."

"All the more reason for me to be here sooner rather than later. I can only imagine what those fair assessments might consist of."

"If they are being given the same tests and graded the same way, that seems perfectly fair."

"Then we are in disagreement because I may end up grading on a different curve," Sunset replied.

Celestia gave her a skeptical look. "If that is the case, we shall see what results you produce before I pass judgment on that. I am happy with your decision to make the school more inclusive, and this is a big win with diplomatic relations with their tribe, but I don't want to have my school producing substandard kirin mages just for the sake of inclusion. That would only perpetuate the belief that the kirin aren't worthy of attending and set relations back. We are trying to bring the kirin fully into the Equestrian fold, not make them look like they have nothing worthwhile to offer."

"I'm well aware. I can't promise any prodigies that are at the top of their class– not in the first year, anyway, but I will assure any that get admitted do respectably," Sunset assured her. "You aren't going to fight me about the history curriculum?"

The alicorn bit her lip then shook her head. "I can live with it. There is but one thing I wish to keep omitted."

"And that is?" Sunset asked with curiosity.

Celestia looked her in the eyes. "Don't let it come out that my sister and I actually repaired the Sunstone a few years ago. I do not want the nobles getting ideas."

Sunset shrugged. "Yeah, probably best not to have them think they can do without you."

"I'm more concerned they may break the spells surrounding it again," Celestia lamented. "You have no idea how much of an undertaking repairing those spells was. Both my sister and I magically exhausted ourselves in the process. If it wasn't working after we were done, the sun and moon wouldn't have moved for days."

Sunset gaped. "It magically exhausted the two strongest alicorns? That's a hell of a lot of magic. You could possibly terraform an entire planet with that much magic, but it took that much just to get the Sunstone working?"

Celestia replied. "It is more powerful than all of us put together, and it resists being worked on. I dare say that if I knew how to make it do what I wanted, there wouldn't be a need for the sacrifices your coming spell requires. However, the only spell it seems to allow is the one that moves the sun and moon, and that one only just barely." Her gaze hardened. "Before you ask, no, you may not examine it. My sister and I are examining to see if there is a way to connect it to your spell to power it, but we will not have anypony…anyone…else messing with it and possibly breaking its surrounding spell matrix again. Our world will depend on that stone if anything happens to us. We will not doom one world for the sake of trying, and maybe not even succeeding, at saving another. Intelligent unicorns broke it once; they will not be given another opportunity, not even you."

Sunset chewed on her lip. "You know what this stone sounds like."

Celestia nodded. "I know what it sounds like. That's why we are entertaining the idea it might power your spell, but that also informs you of the level of power we are dealing with. It magically exhausted Luna and me. It would kill you, just like it slew and burned out all those unicorns long ago. Luna will consult with Triss to find out if Triss has any ideas."

"How did it even end up in Equestria?" Sunset asked. "I understand it could have crossed over during one of the leaks, but that presumes it was on Earth before that. If that stone is what it sounds like, it is very far from home."

"We don't know for sure that it is one of those stones," Celestia reminded her. "We also don't know if Earth is the only location for thaumic leaks. It stands to reason the leaks could be occurring anywhere in your universe."

"True," Sunset conceded "Although leaks happening elsewhere is so worrisome a concept that we pretend that it isn't possible just so we don't have to think about the implications. It still seems odd that one of those stones made it to Equestria if it turns out to be one. What would be the odds? I doubt even my genius niece could calculate them."

"How is she doing?" Celestia asked, changing subject. "I haven't seen a report with her name attached in a while."

Sunset grimaced. "Not surprising. She told us all to fuck off."

Celestia blinked. "I'm sorry to hear that. What prompted this?"

Sunset leaned back in her seat, suddenly feeling very tired. "She completed the equations for us a few years back, and when she handed them over, she demanded to know what she had spent the better part of her life doing. In a moment of foolishness, I told her the truth."

She went quiet, remembering the incident. Celestia waited patiently for her to continue.

Sunset licked her lips. "She has a son. Did you know that? He's adopted, but I am first to know that doesn't make him any less her son. She looked at me and said she was a scientist and a mathematician; she is a logical person. She understood the logic and the reasoning behind it all. She said it was the best choice we had. However, she now has to look her son in the eyes and tell him that she was partially responsible for all that death, and she couldn't imagine anything that could hurt him or her more. So she washed her hands of me, the Dreamwardens, and the government. She won't talk, but she's done with us."

"I am truly sorry to hear that," Celestia said in a hushed whisper. "My history is not as clean as I have let it be presented. I fear what my little ponies will say when you remove the curtain I have drawn over it. Will they respond like your niece, or will they forgive me for things done long ago? It wasn't long ago that the first cracks appeared in the fiction I never make morally objectionable choices. They forgave me last time. Will they forgive me the rest? In the end, we both always do what we think is right, no matter what it may cost."

"And only God knows the truth of our righteousness, not us," Sunset replied. "May God forgive me. May God forgive us all. We can only try to do what is best, and since we are not God, we fail in that endeavor. I hope that the fact we tried counts, and if it doesn't…well…I would rather be damned for trying than damned for not."

Celestia nodded. "I believe the proper response in your culture is amen."

Sunset nodded. "Amen."

Still, knowledge about the Sunstone was a puzzle piece she never had before. The princesses would never let her touch it, or even let her know where it was. She didn't need that. She just needed the report about what they determined. She had been given something else to play with in the biggest puzzle of her life, and she intended to review the problem from every angle till the very last minute. There had to be a better way. There was a better way. She had faith in that. It was just a matter of figuring it out before time ran out.