Chapters As the recruiter for the Equestrian world expedition team looks over my test he raises his head and beams at me. “Well this is perfect. You’re an ideal candidate for the expedition.” A few years ago mankind discovered a rift between are dimension and another, after going through the rift they found that it led to Equestria, the land in which the series My Little Pony takes place. After the discovery of the rift the show's main creator came forward and admitted that most of the show was based on stories he was told in that land, but after he left he could never find his way back.
Since the rift was found the government restricted access to Equestria and said no one was allowed inside the new world. Due to the immense popularity the show had and still does, they couldn't take any risks on obsessed fans screwing with the world and hurting relations with the ponies and other races of Equestria. Recently the government has been sending out these “recruiters” with tests. The test determines how fit you are to travel to Equestria, it tells them if you know nothing and are too ignorant to go, it tells them if you are obsessed and a danger, or someone with basic knowledge who can safely commute to Equestria and live there for an extended period of time.
As for why the government is trying to recruit people instead of just sending their own people to establish diplomacy. Even though the world isn’t as lovey dovey and kid friendly as the shows would suggest, they value friendship and trust as one of their core principles. Because of this, the royals suggested the government send normal people with Equestrian knowledge since they saw sending actual troops and diplomats as signs of aggression and manipulation. The reason the government has listened to them instead of just badging in and taking the place is because they’re scared of having to combat magic. Otherwise they probably wouldn’t even treat the ponies of Equestria as people.
Unfortunately, according to this recruiter I just landed myself in the position of being perfect to go to Equestria. Another fun fact, if you are found to be fit to travel to Equestria you have no choice but to go, it’s like being drafted, if you refuse to go then you’re committing treason and can be executed.. “Are you saying that I have to move to Equestria?” I ask the recruiter, still a little in disbelief.
“Yep.” The recruiter responds, clearly not noticing that I wanted no part of this mess. “As you may or may not know, the government has been putting together a group of fifteen individuals with enough knowledge of Equestria to leave and live there, while also not being too obsessed with the new world that they pose a threat. And you, my lucky friend, just made the fifteenth and final spot, meaning tomorrow morning you and the other fourteen members will embark on the first extended Equestrian living expedition.”
“You mean I have to just, up and leave all my stuff and my home by tomorrow morning?” I ask, surprised the government would make something like this mandatory.
“Not quite.” the guy responds, putting me a little more at ease, but not without some well deserved skepticism. “While you’re gone the government will cover all your bills and watch over your home until you come back.”
“And just how long will I have to live in Equestria?” I ask, now realizing I don’t actually know the specifics of the “mission”.
“There will be a briefing on the specifics of the Expedition before you go through the rift tomorrow.” The recruiter explains. “Here.” The guy reaches into his pocket and pulls out a small business card with the American government seal next to the royal Equestrian seal. I flip the card over expecting to see a phone number, but instead there is an address written on the back.
“What is this?” I ask, holding up the card.
“That my friend,” the man starts, being extra dramatic to emphasize whatever he’s about to say. “Is one of only fifteen cards with the location of the rift containment building written on it. Each member of the Equestrian expedition team gets one. In the card is a special micro chip that allows you to get past the front gate and into the building where the rift is, and the other members of your team who have been living there since they were recruited.”
“What time did you say I had to be there?” I ask, slipping the business card into my pocket and slightly closing the door.
“Around six am.” the recruiter replies, pulling out a folded page from his coat. “Introductions to the rest of the team will start at seven, mission briefing at eight and you’ll set out for Equestria by ten o'clock.”
“You just found me, how do you already have everything planned?” I question, confused.
“The government’s been planning this for a long time,” he responds. “They’ve had all this planned down to the letter for months, for the second we found the fifteenth member. All I have to do is call and let them know and they’ll be ready by tomorrow morning.“
“Fine.” I say, before closing the door most of the way. “Can I start packing now?”
“Oh, right.'' the recruiter says, like he just remembered something. “In case you weren’t aware, no forine objects are allowed in Equestria. The only things you can bring are clothes and bags to carry them in.”
“That’s alright.” I assure him. I suspected something like this anyway. “I hadn't really planned on bringing anything.”
“Well, I’ll get out of here so you can start packing.” the guy says, stepping away from the door and walking back down the sidewalk and pulling out his phone. I shut the door the rest of the way before walking back over to the living room and flopping down on the couch. I grab one of the pillows and press it into my face, groaning loudly into it. After a few moments I let the pillow go and head up the stairs to pack. It’s only about four pm so I still have some time before dinner. I think tomorrow’s going to be a long day, so I think I should get to bed by eight tonight. Which means dinner between five and six thirty is fine.
I stir in my sleep as a faint beeping invades my dream. As the noise slowly gets louder I barely part my eyes, expecting the morning sun to harm my vision. I’m surprised to find the morning sun not piercing my drawn curtains, before remembering that it’s only four am and I have to get ready to head to that military base the recruiter from yesterday told me to go to. I hit my alarm and drag myself over to the wardrobe to get changed. I rummage through what’s left over after I packed most of my clothes up yesterday.
I settle on a pair of white socks, a plain black shirt, some loose blue jeans, and my pair of black sneakers. After getting dressed I grab the two duffle bags of clothes I already packed and head downstairs. I contemplate making some breakfast before remembering that there is no meat in Equestria besides the possible exception of fish, so I think it’s better to stop now while It’s still my choice. I go around and tidy up the house a bit, I collect a few things I left lying around and take them into the bathroom to take care of them
I go out to my car and load the duffle bags in, before heading over to the driver’s side and starting it up. I know this drive will take some time, given the fact that the address the guy gave me yesterday was about a forty five to fifty five minute drive from my house. After about an hour, because I was driving slowly given how dark it still is, I arrive at the front gate of the compound. “Who is it?” A somewhat staticky voice asks from the black box next to me.
“Uhh…” I let out, reaching into my pocket. “Anon, I’m the last recruit.” I hold up the business card to what looks like a camera above the speaker.
“Ah, yes.” The box says, the red light above the gate turns green and it begins to move. “We were notified that the last member would arrive today. Just pull up to the big building on your right, there’s someone waiting to take your car to a secure holding area and someone to search your luggage,”
“Okay.” is all I can think to say. I pull up to the building the guy said, and sure enough there are two guys standing there in military uniforms. I step out and one guy reaches out to take my keys while the other has already pulled my luggage out and has the bags open. “How does everything look?” I ask as the guy on the ground is relentlessly rummaging through my luggage.
“Come over here and place your hand on the wall.” the guy says, pointing at the large building behind him.
“You’re gonna frisk me?” I ask, a sarcastic edge in my voice. The man just stands there with a blank expression waiting for me to move. “Fine” I walk over to the wall, place my hands on it, and spread my legs apart. The guy walks over and starts patting me down.
“Where is it?” the man asks, turning me around to look me in the eye.
“Where's what?” I respond, genuinely confused by the question.
“Your phone.” He clarifies. “Everybody they’ve brought in, has tried to smuggle their phone into the compound.”
“I took care of my phone back at my house” I say. I think back to when I rounded up all my smart devices and dumped them in my bath tub before filling it with water. If the government was going to be watching my house, I didn’t want to take any chances. I also have a backup of all my data on a hard drive in a safe deposit box at my bank. When I found out I had to leave I got one of my friends to keep paying the bill for me, so the government couldn’t access it.\
“You really expect me to believe that you didn’t bring your phone?” The officer asked, obviously not buying that I would just abandon my technology.
“Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye.” I responded, staring the man directly in the eyes. Even I was caught off guard at how visibly angry that made him.
“You think you’re better than me?” the soldier yells, grabbing my shirt collar and slamming me into the wall. “You think just because a little prick like you was chosen for this mission that makes you tough. If it weren’t for that bitchy queen and her god complex, it would be me and my men storming into that world. Don’t go thinking that a little fag like you is anything more than a means to an end.”
“Pftt.” I let out, unable to contain my laughter. “So you’re homophonic.” I observe, grabbing the soldier's collar and spinning around so I’m the one pinning him to the wall. I lean in to make sure my face is as close to his as possible without touching. “So, you think that just because I had knowledge of a world you didn’t bother learning before we knew it existed. Unfortunately for you, you little closeted bitch, I’m straight.” I make a point of leaning in and whispering those last words into his ear.
“You dare accuse me of being gay.” The officer spits the words out through his teeth.
“It’s obvious.” I state. “There was anger and disgust in your voice, but you still can’t hide that little twinge of fear.” I let go of him and take a step back. “What if daddy finds out? Don’t you know what he’ll do to you?” I mimic the man's voice but add a little pitch to it to make it seem younger.
The soldier reaches down and grabs his side piece before pointing it right at my chest. “I should kill you for that, give the world one less problem to deal with.” he shouts.
“Wow.” I say. “Killing yourself to get rid of one problem, how noble.”
“What are you talking about?” he ask
“Well, last I checked, despite my basic skill set I’m still very high priority.” I say, giving the guy a smirk. “Hell, I think killing me even qualifies as treason. you’re a soldier right? I’m sure you know what the punishment for treason is? And over something as meaningless as your pride.” I give him another smirk, before he moves his index finger to rest on the pistol's trigger.
“JACOBS!” I hear a voice yell next to me. “What the hell do you think you’re doing!?” a buff middle aged man with gray hair walks over from the door of the large building and grabs the gun out of the soldier's hand.
“He assaulted me, General.” Jacobs lies, giving me a sideways glance.
“Is this true?” the General asks me, fuming with anger.
“Just returning the favor sir.” I say, looking over at the other soldier. “But, I’m not one to hold grudges, I think this is where this little disagreement should end. Don’t you?” Jacobs looks pissed, like he wants to pull the rifle off his back and put it down my throat.
“Yes.” Jacobs says, maintaining more composure than I thought he would. “I didn’t believe Mr. Filler when he said he didn’t bring his phone. I might have gotten a little too forceful trying to make him tell the truth, but looking back, I don’t believe he brought it. I apologize.”
“Don’t worry about it.” I say playing along with his ruse. “I might have been a little aggressive at your accusation, when I know you’re just doing your job. Shall we head inside General?”
“Yes, I’ll escort you to the barracks to meet the rest of the task force.” the General says, motioning to the door leading inside.
“Can’t wait.” I say picking up my bags. I turn around and blow Jacobs a kiss, which seems to make him angry, before following the General inside.
Author's Note
(A/N)
“I don’t care who you are or the reason, I don’t appreciate people picking fights with my staff.” The General says, as I follow him down the hall
“I know sir.” I respond. “I’m sorry for jeopardizing the mission.” I really do feel bad for snapping back there, guys like him just really get on my nerves. I mean, where does he get off saying that just because I casually enjoyed My Little Pony in the past that automatically makes me gay? I don’t have a problem with gays or anything, I just don’t like it when people tie it to your other interests.
“So where are we going?” I ask, knowing we still have about an hour and a half until I’m supposed to meet the team.
“It never hurts to be ahead of schedule,” he replies. “You were supposed to meet them at seven, but the reason was so they would know when they had to be ready. Right now everyone is in the mess hall eating breakfast. I’ll take you there and we can do a more casual introduction. Plus I want to see how the other recruits deal with a curveball.”
As we keep walking, we turn down a side corridor with two big doors at the end. The General flings them open without any hesitation, startling all the people eating inside. “Everyone, meet your final team member.” He calls out making most of the recruits choke on their food or drop their silverware.
“Wait, I thought he was coming at seven.” one of the female team members yells out. “You said we would have time to prepare.”
“I also taught you to always expect the unexpected, and never get too comfortable.” The General counters. “Everyone meet Anon Filler, he's the last recruit we’ve been searching for. Anon, why don’t you join everyone for breakfast before the mission briefing?”
I glance around the room at all the food these people are eating. Not an ounce of meat, they must already be preparing them for the food in Equestria. “I think that’s a great idea, General. Although I hope you don’t mind, I've recently taken up vegetarianism.” I joke, giving the General a small grin.
“Haha..” the General lets out a small laugh before speaking. “Yes, I think that is quite alright. Just grab a try and head over to the counter over there, then just pick out whatever you want. Now I must be off, I’ll see you all at the rift later!”
I was expecting a unanimous “yes sir!” or something, but instead it’s just a series of murmurs like “okay” and “yeah whatever”. I suppose that makes sense given the fact that these people aren’t allowed to have any proper military training.
I walk over to the line, grab a try and tell the guy behind the counter to just give me whatever he recommends. He gives me the three most popular items and sends me on my way. I walk over to a table with only two other people, a guy and a girl, who are just eating in silence.
“So, you're the new guy.” the girl says, scooting over to sit in front of me.
“Fresh produce.” the other guy says, also scooting over next to the girl. “So, where did they find you?”
“Uh, my front door.” I say, not knowing how else to respond. “A recruiter just showed up at my door with a test. I thought it was just going to be some annoying core that interrupted my day off, but…”
“But then he said you were perfect for the job?” the girl asks, cutting me off.
“Eeeyup.” I say taking a big bite of my apple, which earns me a laugh from both my table mates. “I had to pack up all my clothes in one night and then be up early enough to come here.”
“Yeah, most of us didn’t take it seriously and then they told us we were perfect and to get packed.” The guy informs.
“So, none of you tried to get in here?” I ask, trying to better understand how everyone ended up here.
“Not really.” the girl chimes in. “But that was kind of the point, right? Get people who have knowledge of the land and the people but aren’t trying desperately to get in? The test is even set up with subtle questions that only die hard fans can answer, that way they can’t try to act like casual viewers.”
“Wow, so that’s how they keep the weirdos from getting in here.” I say, finishing off my cucumber sandwich. “Oh, by the way what are your guys’ names?”
“I’m Marie.” The girl says. “This guy next to me is Marco.”
“Nice to meet you guys.” I say reaching out my hand.
“The Warden said your name was Anon right?” the girl asks, taking my hand, before Marco shakes it as well.
“The Warden?” I ask, confused by the term. After a minute it clicks in my head. “Oh, you mean the General?”
“Yeah.” Marco pipes up. “He’s the one in charge of keeping us here and in line. Because we’re ‘high value’, we’re not allowed to leave here.” as Marco finishes talking a loud bell rings over the intercom. “Well, looks like breakfast is over. You ready for the mission briefing?”
“Yeah.” I say standing up and dumping my tray in the nearest garbage. I follow my two new “friends” out of the mess hall and to another large set of double doors, this time though the doors open after one of the recruits puts their hand on a scanner attached to the wall.
“Welcome everyone!” a voice calls out as we all enter the room. Standing in front of a large round table in the middle of the room is a young woman in a white lab coat and a large pair of glasses. “Now, I know most of you all have heard this before, but some of you need a refresher and we have a new member. So today we’ll be going over the mission you’re about to embark on, one final time.”
We all take our seats around the table while the young woman stands at the head with a clipboard in her hand. “Okay, so as you all know you will be going and living in Equestria for the next five years.” I feel my heart twitch as she says that, but I keep my composure. “While living in Equestria you'll be required to live just like you do here, but while obeying Equestrian laws and customs. You are all being sent to different parts of Equestria to record different data, so none of you will meet after your initial entry. You will also be required to write a letter and send it back through the rift at the end of every month to update us on your findings and any changes you may undergo.”
“Can you elaborate on ‘undergoing changes’?” Marie asks.
“Yes.” the scientist responds. “We don’t really know much about Equestria so if the environment or food affects your health we’d like to know. Next are the basic rules. No foreign objects besides your extra clothes, no disrespecting the royals, no missing your monthly update by more than two days. If you do miss an update a team will be sent to confront Princess Celestia to confirm that you’re still alive. If you are still alive and have just chosen to ignore your duties, you will be marked as a traitor. And the last most important rule, absolutely under no circumstances are you to engage in intercourse with anypony. However for the purposes of research you are allowed to form relationships with different Equine species as long as they do not pass second base.”
“Now will you all follow me.” The woman walks out of the room though a different door than we came in and we all follow. We eventually come to a door with another set scanner, only this one has a fingerprint scanner, a retina scan, and a DNA scanner. The woman puts her hand on the outline, looks in the retina scanner, and places a strand of her hair in a small vial. After all the lights turn green the door begins opening.
“Everyone, welcome to the portal room.” the scientist says, walking into the middle of the room doing a small twirl. On her right is a big sporadically fluctuating blue rift surrounded by big machines to keep it stable.. On her left is a set of fifteen solid metal lockers. “If you all open your lockers you’ll find a quill. The quill is made from one of princess Celestia’s, or princess Luna's feathers and is enchanted so that whoever you address the letter to, once you sign your name at the bottom it will be teleported to the other person.”
We all rush over to our labeled lockers eager to see our new equipment. Surely enough when I open my locker, sitting inside is a small beautiful black wooden quill case. I open it up, and sitting inside is a perfect deep rich blue feather.
As everyone pulls their quills out of their lockers one of the recruits speaks up. “So, are these things really magic?” The guy has a rough grip on the back of the feather and is waving it around.
“Yes.” the scientist answers. “Also, please be careful with your quills. If you lose or break your quill you're responsible for getting your letters back here without one.”
“What does that mean?” one of the others asks.
“I think it means we have to throw our letters back through the portal manually. Wherever in Equestria that is.” I say, still examining my writing implement and its case.
“Anon is right.” the woman agrees. “If you can’t use your Quill, you have to travel back to Canterlot Castle and throw your letter through the rift.'' After she’s finished talking, the sound of wood cladding with concrete rings out through the large room.
“Did you just say the rift is in Canterlot Castle?” Marie asks, her quill box sitting on the ground at her feet.
“Yes. is there a problem?”
“Uh, yeah.” Marie affirms. “Listen lady, I don’t know if y-”
“Alice.” the woman cuts Marie off.
“What?”
“My name is Alice.” Alice reiterates.
“Okay, Alice. I don’t know if you’re aware of this, but meeting the princesses is kind of a big deal! A big deal you guys, didn’t prepare us for!”
“Really? I thought all of you were informed of that.”
“We were.” Marco chimes in. “But Marie is the newest here, besides Annie over there.” Marco points over at me. “She’s only been here for about two weeks, I guess it never came up since she got here.”
“Wait, you all knew this?” Marie asks, glancing around the room. Everyone just kind of nods or shrugs. “I’m, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have freaked out like that.” Marie apologizes, bowing to Alice.
“Don’t worry about it.” Alice says dismissively. “Oh, I almost forgot the most important part. If you all look in the bottom of your quill box, there will be a small piece of paper. The paper will have your designated area that you will be living in, while you’re in Equestria.”
As everyone looks at their papers a few gasps, sighs, and disappointed grunts can be heard. Curious, I open my box and glance at my note. I’m overcome with a wave of panic and excitement as I read the note. Written in big bold letters is, “Ponyville”.
“Now, who wants to get to the fun part?” Alice asks, interrupting my thoughts, which I am actually grateful for.
“Yeah.” Everyone calls out, excited for what comes next. Alice waves her hand at a big glass window on the wall behind the lockers, presumably an observation deck. After a minute the General walks through another door at the back of the room with a few other scientists. .
“Are we ready to commence with the jump?” he asks, walking over to Alice as the scientists flock to the machines around the portal.
“Yes I think we are. As most of you have probably noticed, we’ve moved all your clothing back into these lockers. Please take all your bags and step up onto that platform over there.” Alice points over at a large metal platform with four large metal wires that seem to be there to lift it up to the rift.
We all grab our bags and head over to the lift, accompanied by Alice and the ‘Warden’. “Everything ready to go?” the General asks one of the random scientists.
“Yes sir.” he answers. “The lift is ready to ascend and the rift is stable. If you all want to leave now, there should be no problems.”
“Alright, bring us up.” The General commands, shortly after the platform beneath us starts rising. “Now who here is ready to enter a new world and start a new life!?”
A series of “Yeah”s and “let's go”s follow the General's question. As the platform rises the rift begins to move less and less. The rift goes from being a writhing mass of energy, to a slow, pulsating, contained portal, ready to take us to our new land for the next five years.
“Is this really happening?” one of the random recruits asks.
“Yep, the time is finally here.” Alice answers, motioning all of us to move up towards the rift. “I want all of you to take turns jumping through the rift, after one person jumps in, wait about a minute before the next person goes. Now, who wants to go first?”
“I’ll go.” A big guy with a full beard and mustache says walking up to the rift.
“Alright, hop on through.” Alice commands. The guy takes a big leap into the portal, and disappears. “Okay, who's next?”
* * *
After about fifteen minutes, Marco finally jumps through the portal. “Alright that makes fourteen.” Alice says, jotting something down on her clip board. “Alright Mr. Filler, looks like it’s your turn. Kind of fitting don’t you think?”
“What do you mean?” I ask, picking my duffle bags up off the flour.
“You were the last recruit we found, and now you’re going to be last to enter Equestria. I don’t know why, but I thought you would actually volunteer to go first.”
“Na, these people have been waiting a long time to get out of here. Trust me, they deserve to be the first to experience Equestria.”
“Well, I think your minute is up, good luck Anon.”
“Don’t worry, I’ll write to you every month.”
“Ha,ha, very funny. Just make sure not to miss an update.”
“Well it was nice meeting you, even if just briefly. You as well, General.” I walk over and shake the man’s hand. “Well, see you guys in five years.” I walk up to the rift and step though in one motion. As I walk through the rift and step my foot into the new world my senses are overwhelmed and I become disoriented. My spine prickled and my head throbbed. The others seemed fine as they stood around and marveled at the blinding white interior of Canterlot Castle.
Even without having magic, I can sense energy flowing within the walls and floor. My best guess as to what that feeling might be, is that it’s the magic that keeps the rift stable on this side. Me and the others are in a large circular white room with a high ceiling and a single door. “Anyone want to go first?” Marie asks.
“I’ll go.'' The big guy who went through the portal first calls out. He walks over and flings the door open. As it fling open two ponies in golden armor spin around and point spears at the man. “Hey, hey, hey, friendly.”
“Oh, you must be the diplomats the princesses have been waiting for, for quite some time now.” one of the guards observes. “Take them to their majesties for introductions.”
Author's Note
A/N
“Please,” I begin, trying to clarify the point the princess brought up. “Don’t let my lack of enjoyment masquerade as disloyalty. The government never did anything for me, if anything they made my life more difficult every step of the way, getting to where I was. And then, just like that. They make all my hard work meaningless by sending me to a different world.”
Princess Celestia looks at me with anticipation as she leans forward on the edge of her throne. “But, despite my grievances with them I have a duty to carry out this mission. I will not disobey an order unless I believe it to be wrong. That being said, I’m open to the idea of conducting extra curricular activities as part of my stay in Equestria. After all, we’re supposed to learn all that we can about this world. And there were no rules about helping you with any experiments.”
“You’re a colt of many surprises.” Celestia lets out a sigh and stands up. “Although I must say, I’m a little disappointed that you’re not willing to make a concrete deal with me. I could use an ally in the loop right now.”
“Are you referring to the fact that you just had to turn down copies of every document we send out?“ I ask, giving a small grin.
“If I had jumped at the opportunity I would have looked suspicious, not to mention it would have given them the perfect opportunity to regulate what I see.” Celestia walks over to one of the windows lining the throne room and pears out over Canterlot. “I just want to protect the ponies of this kingdom, and I need friends to do it.”
“Only the magic of friendship can save this kingdom from fighting with the human realm.” I say, in an exaggerated and dramatic tone.
“Oh hush you. Just because it sounds childish doesn’t mean it’s not true.” Celestia reprimands, letting out a chuckle. “Anyway, I’m glad to have you as a resource, even if you can’t go against your country. At the very least I believe you will never betray me either.”
“Of course not, I’m a stallion of my word.”
“Already appointing yourself an Equestrian someone's ambitious.”
“Is it not your majesty that referred to me as a colt?” I glance over at Princess Celestia with a cocky grin, but quickly look away. Now that the initial shock has worn off I’m starting to notice things, customs I have to get used to. For example I just got quite the unfiltered view of Princess Celestia's Marehood.
“Ugh.” I let out a small grunt and clear my throat. “So, is it truly a pony custom to always remain unclothed apart from special occasions.”
Celestia turns around and notices the faint tinge of red on my face. She looks back and forth between my face and her flank before her face flushes with a blush of its own. The Princess quickly turns around completely, her rear facing the window.
“Please forgive me. I had forgotten how adamant you humans are when it comes to concealing one's body.” Celestia’s horn glows for a moment before an elegant white dress encompasses her form and hides her attributes. “There, that should do nicely.”
“Oh please, don’t inconvenience yourself on my account. Besides I think this conversation has reached its natural conclusion, I should get headed for the barracks.” I turn around to walk out before I hear hoofsteps behind me.
“Hold on a moment.” Celestia orders, trotting over to me. “Take this.” Celestia stretches out her hoof, in it is a small reddish brown piece of wood, four lozenge shaped gems embedded in the sides. A ruby, An obsidian, a rose quarts, and a moon stone.
“What is this?” I ask, examining the object more closely.
“You’ll know what to do with this when the time comes.”
“You know I didn’t peg you for the cryptic type, Princess.”
“What can I say? I love knowing things other ponies don’t.”
I slip the object into my pocket and take a deep bow. “Thank you, your highness.”
“No need. After all, I am doing this for my own curiosity.” Princess Celestia turns, flipping her mane around and walks back over to her throne. “Now, go off and enjoy the castle, I’m sure your teammates are starting to get worried.” As she finishes speaking, the throne room doors open behind me. Celestia motions her hoof at the door with a smile, signaling me to go, and with that, I take my leave.
As I walk out the door I glance at one of the sentinels stationed outside the large chamber. Remembering the stray thought that passed through my mind with Princess Celestia earlier, I glanced down. There between the stallion's flanks is a large throbbing shaft at least half the size of one of the stallion's legs. Thanks to years of being flooded with and desensitized to nudity on the internet I manage to shrug it off and be on my way.
After a few minutes of wondering, a thought occurs to me. ‘I have no idea where the hell I’m going.’ Glancing round I notice a couple guard ponies coming down the hall and decide to ask for directions. “Excuse me.” I say walking up to the stallion and the mare. “I’m very sorry to bother you, but I appear to be lost. Do you know where the barracks where the human diplomats are staying is?”
The stallion and mare look at each other before the mare lets out a long sigh. “Yes, follow me.” she says walking past me and signaling me to walk behind her.
“Thank you. I’m really sorry about this, I hope I’m not pulling you away from your duties.”
“No, me and my…” The mare glans back, seeing if the other guard is still trailing behind us. “Me and that stallion were on our way to the mess hall.”
“Huh, hey what time is it anyway? I didn’t think it was close to any meal.”
“About 5Pm, we were on our way to dinner.”
“Wait. What? I could have sworn it wasn’t even 7Am when we left.”
“You mean you weren’t told? From what I’ve heard, there’s a pretty big time gap between Earth and Equestria.”
“You mean between here and America? I mean it has to be the same time there somewhere right?”
“Not quite. The rumor goes beyond that. Tell me, what was the date when you left?”
“May 27th. Why do you ask?” I was a bit afraid of the answer, but I had to be sure.
“Because it’s November, the 14th to be exact.”
I feel my stomach knot at this discovery. ‘Those bastards didn’t even have the decency to warn us about this?’ I let out a sigh, dispelling my thoughts and returning to the present moment. “Thank you for the head up, uh…”
“Silver Dagger.” she finishes for me.
“Thank you silver dagger, also for helping me find my room.”
“Don’t mention it, it is my duty to assist the Princesses' esteemed guests after all.” As our conversation comes to an end we arrive at a small door with two guards standing by. “Have the diplomats been served their dinner yet?“ Silver dagger asks, walking over to the other two guards.
“No general. ” one answers as they both raise their hooves in a salute.
“Would the diplomats like to join the guard in the mess hall then?”
“We will ask them at once ma’am. ” The guard opens the door to the barracks and steps inside, we quickly follow behind him. “Would you all like to join the guard in the mess hall for supper, or would you care to take your meals in your quarters.” he asks, earring questioning looks from all the team members.
“Dinner? It’s like 7:30, why would we need dinner?” asks the team leader.
The guard also looks quite confused, so Silver Dagger chimes in. “Actually, here in Equestria it’s already after 5Pm.” This earns even more dumbfounded stares and even a few dropped jaws.
“You’re telling me that there’s a time difference that significant, and we somehow didn’t know about it?”
“Sadly yes, I’m sure it will take some time getting used to it, but you will eventually.”
The leader lets out a long sigh before speaking. “Very well, yes, we’d love to join the guards in the mess hall for dinner.”
Author's Note
A/N
Me and Silver Dagger are walking next to each other on our way to the mess hall as the rest of the team follows behind. “So… general, eh.” I ask, eluding to the fact that Silver Dagger forgot to mention that she was of a higher rank.
“Oh here it comes.” she says exaggeratedly, letting out a sigh.
“Here what comes?” I ask, puzzled by the insinuation.
“Now that you know you’re going to be all formal with titles and stuff.”
“Well, technically I’m a guest of the queen and a diplomat from another land. So you should actually be showing me more respect.”
“Well, my apologies Sir, I had forgotten.”
I visibly cringe at that remark “Now I just feel dirty. Tell you what, I’ll make you a deal. If you agree not to address me formally I won’t use your title either.”
“Deal, but only if you use my first name.” Silver Dagger persuades.
“Fine, Silver.” I agree, stretching out my hand.
“Then that settles it.” Silver reaches out and takes my hand in hoof and shakes it.
“When did Anon get so chummy with the locals?” One of the members asks their friend in a sarcastic tone.
“You think he’s already forgotten rule number 4?” His friend replies, letting out a small self satisfied chuckle.
My head slowly rotates back to face the two in a second, my calm practiced exception hiding the silent burning rage just behind my eyes. “Remember we’re all on the same team. Our job is to serve out our time here peacefully. And I’m offended by your insinuation that I would jeopardize my life over something as basic as sex.”
The team leader walks up between the other two, dispelling the tension in the air. He walks up and starts to walk along beside Silver Dagger and myself. “I must say General, I’m surprised” I see Silver’s eye twitch slightly at that remark.
‘I wonder if that was from him using her title or the fact that he found something surprising about her.’
“Whatever do you mean commander.” Silver asks, a slight sharpness to it.
“Both the princesses and yourself seem very open to outsiders. I figured at least some ponies would treat us as lesser creatures. Not that I think you’re that kind of pony, I just feel like once we leave, the atmosphere will change. ”
Silver seems to ponder the leader’s thought for a few moments. “I think you might be right. Even here in the castle there is a portion of the guard that doesn’t think very highly of humans. So I think the assumption that it will be worse out there in the rest of Equestria, isn’t very unlikely.”
As Silver finishes her response we arrive at a large open room filled with tables. At the west wall is a large table with different food laid out. Most of the ponies in the room glace up at our arrival, some scoff or frown at our presence, but most keep their mouths shut, most likely due to our escort. “I’ll go get us all a table, the rest of you go up and pick out a few items and just put them on a tray.“ Silver walks off towards the northeast corner and moves a few tables together to fit our large party.
Me and the rest of the party walk over to the large table and examine the display of various food items. The table is covered with different fruits and vegetables as well as some pre mixed salads, some of which even contain cheese and egg which surprises me slightly. I was aware Equestrians still used animal products just not meat, but actually seeing it is still a bit shocking.
After plating up some apples, an orange and a small salad I make my way over to the improvised table. Most of the members have already sat down. Each table can sit six people, but half of each table is pushed against the other so one side is unusable. Because of the way they are set up, our large table can sit sixteen people. Six on each side which makes twelve and the other four are at the heads.
I decide to take a seat at the end where the team leader and Silver were both at the head. I take my seat next to Silver and decide to try and get to know my team members better. “I know we didn’t really get to introduce ourselves back at the base, so do you all want to do that now?” I glance up and no one really looks surprised or nervous.
“Yeah that’s probably not a bad idea.” The leader says. “I’m 1, my name is Mark Hanson. I gained all my Equestrian knowledge from spending time with my daughter who always made me watch MLP with her.”
“one?” I ask, not understanding what the number was supposed to mean.
“Oh, right. You don’t know what that means. You see, we’re all given numbers when we join, in the order that we were found. In other words, I was the first recruit.”
“Ohh, that makes sense. Do you want to go in order then?” Mark gives a nod and the next person speaks up.
“I’m 2, my name is John Powers. I gained my knowledge from watching the show normally, but I was never a hardcore fan though I just thought is was cute, that’s how I passed the screening prosses.” John’s normal looking dude he’s skinny, short brown hair, a small scar under his left eye, and plain clothes.
“I’m 3, my name is Casie London. My friend Jenny was a super hardcore fan and I guessed I remembered a lot more than I thought I did, but my memory wasn’t good enough to remember all the really specific stuff that would have maked me as a risk.” Casie has bright blond hair, deep blue eyes, and is wrapped in an oversized red sweater.
“I’m 4, name’s Blake, Blake Moore. Got my knowledge from fanfiction my friend made me read, I never actually watched the show.” Blake had black hair, black earrings, a lip piercing, and he’s wearing a plain dark blue shirt and jeans.
“I’m 5, I go by Hanna, but my real name’s Dan Hallway. I learned what I know from watching the show while I was in transition.” Hanna’s wearing a black tank top with a dark green sports bra underneath. She has long golden yellow hair, green eyes and a muscular build.
“Number 6 over here.” A larger woman calls with a surprisingly quiet voice. She has long brown hair, freckled cheeks and is wearing a large purple shirt. “My name’s Abigail Healer, but everyone calls me Abby. I learned what I know from binging the show in college.”
“Sup I’m 9.” Calls one of the guys who was talking behind my back earlier. “By the way, sorry about before. We were just having some fun, you know?”
“Yeah, no problem, I get it. Besides, I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t curious to know whether anyone here was actually going to try ‘getting closer’ to a pony.”
“I feel you, but I’d like to think no one here’s dumb enough to try it.”
“Yeah you have a point. Anyway, on with introductions.”
“Right, I’m 9, Name’s Alex Nano, that guy over there is 10, he’s also my brother Ian.” Alex pints over at the other guy he was talking to earlier. “We both gained our knowledge from watching the show with our little sister Marissa.” Ian and Alex look pretty similar give or take a few years. Both of them are thin but muscular with short brown hair and patchy beards. Ian's wearing a black shirt and jeans, while Alex is wearing a bright red shirt with blue sweatpants. Both of them also have matching silver bracelets.
“I’m 11, you already know me, I’m Marco. My full name is Marco Glass. I got all my info from research online after the Rift appeared. I wanted to learn more, but I didn’t actually want to be recruited.” Marco’s a large black guy with short black hair, and medium build. He’s wearing a big brown leather jacket, tight black jeans and, for some reason black fabric gloves.
“That’s number 12.” Marco says, pointing at a younger looking girl at the other end of the table. “She doesn’t talk much, all I know is her name is Sera Frost, I think she said she was 19.” The girl looks up from her meal at Marco and gives a nod before going back to eating. Sera’s a younger looking girl with curly black hair in a big light blue hoodie with large bags under her eyes.
“I’m 13.” the last guy calls out. I’ve been wondering about this one for a while now. 13 is a large guy maybe 6’3 and built like a semi truck, his muscles are huge and he’s a very opposing man. “My name’s Anthony Sulker, but all my friends call me Anton.”
“You already know me as well.” Marie says. “I’m 14, my full name is Marie Chimes. I got all my knowledge of the pony franchise from watching the show normally, I just have a good memory.”
“Well I guess that leaves me.” I say standing up to introduce myself. “It’s nice to meet you all, I’m 15. My name is Anon Filler, I look forward to working with you all and discovering all that we can about this better world.”
Author's Note
A/N
After the introductions a comfortable silence fell over the table. As we eat I start to realize the weight of all the eyes on us. I glance around and notice the varying types of stares on us. Some looked on with anger or malice, ‘did we do something to upset them?’ I wonder. Other ponies looked at us with caution, some normally cautious and some actually fearful. The rest of the ponies look at us with either disinterest or indifference.
“They really don’t like us do they?” I ask silver.
“They just don’t trust humans.”
“Rightfully so.” numbers 1, 5, 9, 10, 14, and myself say in relative unison.
Silver looks at us with surprise, while some of the other members give us confused looks. Mark takes the lead in explaining what we meant. “Not all humans are bad, obviously. But there are such things as shitty people, not to mention the government and whatever they’re planning. Even we humans don’t trust each other most of the time.”
“1’s right.” I say looking at silver. “You should never trust someone you just met, but that doesn’t mean we think you should discriminate against our entire race. Honestly my main concern was why no one in here is trying to hide the fact that they dislike us so much. After all, they are solders, you'd think they'd be trained not to show their emotions.”
“Huh, that’s so normal.” Silver mumbles under her breath, bringing her hoof up to her muzzle to whisper her thoughts into it.
“Uh, what?” I ask, giving Silver a questioning look.
“Oh.. nothing. Sorry. I just, well. I expected you to be a lot more mad about ponies not liking you, rather than wonder about their discipline. Honestly I had forgotten that all these ponies are trained to remain stoic until you pointed out how little they seem to care.”
“I don’t entirely blame them. They don’t exactly have any way of knowing who we are. Should we all introduce ourselves at some point?” I turn and look at 1 waiting for an answer.
“I suppose it couldn’t hurt. How about everyone else?” Mark glances up seeing if anyone objects. “Wait, why do we have two empty seats? Doesn’t this makeshift table seat exactly 16 people?” Silver gives him a slight jab in the side. “Sorry 15 people and one pony.”
“Yeah you have a point.” Marco says standing to look over everyone, he lets out a long sigh before sitting down. “Where are Jack and Amy?”
“Oh of course it’s them.” Mark says letting out a sigh of his own and pinching the bridge of his nose in irritation.
“Who are they?” I ask, glancing up at the annoyed leader.
‘Number 7 Jack Crown, and number 8 Amy Crown. They’re a married couple that arrived at the same time. How did we not notice they were gone? *sigh* They’ve always had a bad habit of wandering off and getting into trouble as long as we’ve known them. Part of me was hoping it would stop once we got here, apparently I was very naïve.“
“Yeah, they’ve gotten into some real shit before.” Marie says, glancing up from her food. “This one time they actually managed to get into the wardens room and he caught them going through his browser history.”
“Oh yeah I remember that.” Blake says. “Although I’m not sure what they thought they would find, it was a military laptop after all. It definitely wasn’t worth getting Pony Practice for.”
“What’s Pony Practice?” I ask, giving the others a curious look.
“I was this thing the general would do.” Mark says, getting on the ground to demonstrate “Basically you had to go the whole day on all four when you walked, and you had to keep your fist clenched so you couldn’t grab anything. He always said it was acting like a pony to get an appreciation for how hard they had it. Honestly though it actually worked, I definitely have a lot more respect for ponies after doing it.”
“Is that even legal?” I ask stupidly before correcting my self. “Never mind. I forgot, top secret government site protecting a portal to another world. It doesn't matter what's legal.”
Suddenly we all hear a loud crash come from the other side of the mess hall. “Watch you’re going human.” A stallion says, venom dripping from his words.
“Sorry, I wasn’t really paying attention.” Comes a woman's voice. At the sound of the commotion we all get up to go see what’s happening.
“I don’t care how much you were daydreaming, you need to pay more attention and be more respectful while in this castle.” The stallion takes a step forward and looks down to appear more imposing. As we make our way through the crowd we can see two people sitting on the ground in front of the stallion.
On the ground sits a woman with bright blue dyed hair, a bright neon pink shirt and black leggings. Frantically looking her over to make sure she’s not injured is who I can only assume is her husband. The man has short black hair, beige pants, a black shirt with a dark grey overcoat, and a pair of thin glasses.
“Hey she didn’t mean it alright, just leave her alone.” The man stands up to look the stallion in the eyes.
“Oh look at the big man standing up for his weak woman.” The stallion says mockingly. “I don’t care how things work back in your world. Here regardless of your gender, you’re not tough or scary, Human.”
“And why does that matter?” I ask waking up in front of the couple to look at the stallion. “This is Canterlot is it not? Here strength and power aren't how you get ahead. Here it’s all about status, respect, and tradition. What would the princesses say if they saw you actively picking a fight with one of their special guests? I’d suggest finishing your lunch break and letting this go.”
“Oh look, this one thinks that just because he knows a few of the rules that he gets to order us around.” The stallion looks around at the guards standing behind him, backing him up. “I don’t care who you are or how important you think you are. No matter what, at the end of the day you’re still a filthy human.”
“HEY!” Mark calls out, stepping through the crowd. “Just because we’re human doesn’t mean we’re bad people.”
“All humans are the same, you’re all just power hungry animals who just want to take our magic.” The stallion accentuates his point by stomping hard on the ground with his fore hooves.
“HOW DARE...”
“What’s your name?” I ask with a blank exception, cutting off the leader as I glance up at the large stallion.
“And why do you want to know? Are you gonna go tattle to one of the princesses on me?”
“No, of course not. If memory serves it’s proper to greet a pony formally when meeting them for the first time. I’ve realized that we’re getting off on the wrong hoof and I wish to fix that. My name is Anon Filler.” I kneel down and bow to the guard pony. “May I ask you for your name?”
This action seems to confuse the large pegasus, but his expression quickly turns to one of cocky satisfaction. “I suppose I can tell you my name. I’m Fine Tip.”
“Thank you, Fine Tip.” I raise from bended knee and look up at the stallion, my exception darkening into one of cold command. “Now that we are acquainted, do you mind elaborating on that accusation of us wanting to take your magic?” I ask, glaring with narrowed eyes.
The stallion gives me an odd look before answering. “Over a thousand years ago humans came here in search of magic and tried to steal ours and take it for themselves.”
“That’s quite the claim, for your sake I hope it was more than a foalstail if your entire race uses it as a reason to show us this much malice.” I glance around at all the guard ponies behind Fine Tip giving deathly glares accompanied by lots of bared teeth, some ponies on the verge of snarling, as if I had just challenged them to war and one wrong word would turn the conversation into an all out brawl in the middle of the mess hall.
“We have the gravestones from generations past to prove it, pulse we have the word of the princesses.” Fine Tip assures me.
“I see.” Is the only response I give, still processing this new revelation. “Well then, please forgive my ignorance.” I take another deep bow at Fine Tip’s hooves. “But let me assure you that there was a reason her majesty asked for people like me and the rest of my team. We were selected because we have no reason to want or need to hurt anypony, we’re just normal people with no agenda.”
Fine Tip leans in towards me to keep his next words hushed. “If that were true then you wouldn’t be here, would you?”
“I’m afraid I have no idea what you’re talking about, Lieutenant.” I say, returning Fine Tip’s playful, sarcastic whisper.
“If you say so.” He says leaning back and gesturing to his men to follow him. “Come ponies, our mealtime’s end draws near. We must go eat to keep up our strength for the night watch.“ And with that command the group of guards walk away and leave the rest to wonder what just happened.
“H-how the hell did you do that?” The woman who was previously sitting on the floor asks.
“So far defusing tension seems to be this one's special talent.” Marie says, walking over to me and slinging her arm around my shoulder. “Careful though, next thing you know you’ll have a picture of a bomb with a cut wire inside a speech bubble on your ass.”
“Ha ha, but I don’t think humans can get cutie marks.” I say, my sarcastic laugh slipping into a real giggle.
“You never know.” Marie counters walking away with her arms folded behind her head. “If we knew for certain, they wouldn’t have asked us to report any physical changes.”
“I suppose you have a point.” I say, glancing back at her as I walk over to the couple. “Anyway, you guys alright?”
“Yeah we’re alright, just a little shaken up.” The man says walking over to stand next to his wife.
“IDIOTS!” Mark calls out, walking over to stand next to me in front of the troublesome pair. “Even after all the shit the warden put you two through you still haven’t learned not to wander off and find trouble!” The commander lets out a long sigh and walks forward wrapping the two in a hug. “I’m glad you two are alright, but you really need to be more careful. ”
“We’re sorry Mark” the man says.
“Yeah, what he said” the woman mumbles into Mark's broad shoulder.
Mark takes a step back from the pair and raises a hand to gesture at me. “I don’t believe you’ve been properly introduced. Anon, this is Jack, and that’s Amy. happily married for two years, and the biggest pain in my ass on this team.” Mark turns around, fallowing Marie back to the table. “Well, I’ll leave you three to get acquainted.”
“Nice to meet you two.“ I say, offering my hand out.
“Nice to meet you, as the commander said, I’m Jack.” Jack walks up and takes my hand, giving it a firm shake. “Come on honey, come say thank you.”
“R-right.” she sputters, seeming to slip out of her daze. “I’m Amy, let’s try to get along, and remind me not to get on your bad side.”
“What makes you say that?” Jack asks. “All he did was defuse the augment, it’s not like he beat up that pony.”
“The look in your eyes, it definitely struck a nerve in those other ponies, they looked scared of you.”
“Please.” I say waving my hand dismissively. “I don't think humans are lesser beings than ponies, but I’m smart enough to know that I couldn’t do much damage to a pony. And besides that look wasn’t fear, they were just pissed off.”
“Hmm, I suppose you do make a valid point.” Amy says. “Anyway let's get back to the table, I’m hungry.”
“Sounds like a plan.” Jack says, walking up and wrapping his arm around his wife’s waist. “It’s a shame we have to share a barracks though, I was really hoping for some dessert tonight.” Jack leans in and runs his tongue up Amy’s neck.
Amy lets out a small squeak in response and punches Jack lightly in the shoulder. "Really right in front of anon? I swear you were sweating bullets at the sight of that stallion, but the second they’re gone you go right back to your dangerously shameless self."
“You really think I’m going to criticize you for having a healthy sex life?” I ask, walking just passed the couple. “Besides, you two are going to be in different towns once the preparations are finished right? I’d recommend trying to cram as much satisfaction in as you can while we’re here.” As I finish my thought I walk away without waiting for a response, but judging by the shade of red painted on Amy and Jack’s faces they definitely understood my suggestion.
As I make my way back to the table Silver stands up and walks over two me. “Are you done with your meal?” she asks.
“Yeah, I just need to get rid of my tray.” I reply, but don’t try to pass by Silver just yet.
“One of the others can take care of it. Will you take a walk with me?”
“I can't really deny you a request, General.”
Silver lets out a small sigh. “I’m going to let that one go because it gives you a reason to not feel guilty about making somepony do a chore for you.” Silver eventually lets a small smile brighten her face. “Follow me.”
I follow Silver out of the mess hall and down a corridor, after a few minutes we reach a door. Silver opens the door and gestures for me to follow and I comply as Silver shuts the door behind me. “Who are you?” She asks bluntly.
“Well that’s a rather loaded question.” I say in a playful tone that Silver doesn’t seem to enjoy.
Silver's horn flares and pulls her sword out of its holster and presses it to my neck. “Don’t try to d=get out of this with humor or deflection. I’ll only ask once more who are you?”
I let out a faint sigh and look Silver in the eye. “What do you want to know?”
“Fine Tip isn’t the type of pony to back down from a challenge.” Silver says, narrowing her eyes and flooding more magic into the sword. “The way he looked at you, there was no anger, fear, or frustration. Fine Tip respected you, he looked like he thought you two were on equal ground. how did you do that?”
“Determination.” I say bluntly.
“What?” Silver asks, a hint of annoyance in her voice.
“I’ve always been stubborn and I don’t back down either. I think the reason Tip respected me was because he saw the determination in my eyes.”
“I suppose I could believe that.” Silver lowers the sword and sighs. “I’m sorry it’s just…”
“Hey I get it.” I say, putting a hand on Silver’s cheek. “A long time ago humans came here and did terrible things, but look at me.” I tilt Silver’s head to look up at me. “You can trust me, I’m not going to hurt you or anyone else.”
Silver lifts her front hooves and wraps them around me in a gentle hug which I return. “I never let ponies see me like this.” Silver chuckles. “We know next to nothing about earth and humans and now we have 15 that are going to be living here and we’re just supposed to trust them. It’s just a lot to deal with. Thank you… for reassuring me.”
“Don’t mention it.” I say letting go of Silver so she can fall back down onto all four hooves. “Besides, talking is about the only thing I’m good at.”
“I wouldn’t say that.” Silver contradicts.
“Really? Is there something else you’ve noticed?” I ask.
“Call it a hunch.” Suddenly Silver leans forward and presses her lips to mine.
I feel my heart drop into my stomach as the sensation of Silvers lips on mine fills my mind. “Well this is going to be a problem.” I think to myself, looking for a way to end the kiss without seeming too eager to end it or prolong it too long. Finally I settle on Deepening the kiss then ending it. I wrap my arm around Silver neck and press further into her before pulling back and looking her in the eyes. “What was that for?” I ask.
A faint blush warms Silver's cheeks. “It was just spur of the moment, call it curiosity.”
“Oh, curious of what? What I tasted like?” I lick my lips slowly and playfully while looking Silver in the eye.
“You don't have to make it sound so perverted!” Silver yells, a deep red hue covering her face. “I just wanted to know what it was like, kissing a human.”
“Kissing a ‘human’, or just kissing somepony?” I ask with a sly grin.
“I’ve kissed ponies before.” Silver insists.
“Sure you have.” I say sarcastically.
“I’ll have you know I’m quite an eligible bachelorette.”
“Alright, alright.” I concede, holding up my hands to prevent myself from getting a hoof to the chest. “I’m only teasing. You are quite the mare, I’d be surprised if you hadn’t been on at least a few dates.” I glance at my watch and realize we’ve been gone too long. “Look at the time, we’d better get back befo…”
“You were right.” Silver cuts me off.
“Right about what.” I ask, not understanding where this is going.
“I’ve been on a few dates, yes, but none of them were any good. So yes, that was actually my first kiss.”
I feel a slight weight rest itself on my shoulder as I try to process what this means. “Damn.” I think to myself. “If this really was her first kiss, that might mean this is serious for her. This could become a problem if not resolved quickly. No wait, this could actually help me learn more about Equestria as a real world and not just a fairytale. All I have to do is keep Silver on my side so I can learn more about how the palace operates.”
“Is this going to be a thing then?” I ask, being sure to look Silver in the eye.
“What do you mean?” she asks.
“If this was your first kiss, does that make it serious?”
“Oh, well I mean… if you want it to be, then maybe we can see where this goes.” Silver turns to look away from me, a faint red hue returning to her cheeks.
“Why me?” I ask, not meaning to say it out loud.
“Because there’s something different about you.” Silver replies.
“Different how? I’m pretty sure me and the rest aren’t that different.”
“It’s your eyes.”
“Are we really going back to my eyes?”
“Here me out.” Silver insists. “When you looked at Fine Tip you were right, your eyes were determined and unwavering. Normally though your eyes are distant and cold, not sad or disinterested but calculated. But when you look at me, you seem happy, not just me but everyone, you enjoy interacting with ponies and you look so happy when you do it. Just knowing that you genuinely like being here and interacting with us makes me happy, but you also get this other look when you look at me. When you look at me, it’s almost like you want to take something, but you don’t know if you’ll get in trouble for trying.”
Silver puts her hoof to my cheek and strokes it. “I want to take this slow, but don’t be afraid to do something if you know the moment is right.”
I put on a warm plastic smile and raise my hand to rest it on Silver’s hoof. “Thank you.” I say before leaning down and once again joining my lips with Silvers. “All I have to do is make sure she thinks that we both want this, just keep her happy.” I think to myself before ending the kiss. “We should really get going now, the others will wonder what we’re doing if we don’t get back soon.” I say taking Silver's hoof and leading her towards the door.
“Alright.” she says, letting go of my hand and walking on all four hooves again.
As me and Silver walk down the hall I notice a familiar face. As the figure walks towards us, me and Silver both take a respective bow. “Your majesty.” I say tilting my head to look up.
“Raise your heads.” Twilight Sparkle commands. “I get the newcomer, but really Silvie. You know I don’t like formalities.”
“Sorry your majesty.” Silver apologizes. “But I have to set a good example for the humans.”
“Oh come on, what’s one human who doesn’t bow to me going to hurt?” Twilight asks.
“To be fair Miss Twilight, I bowed before Silver did.” I say, rising up from my bow to look up at twilight.
Twilight lets out a sigh. “I suppose ‘miss’ is better than ‘your majesty’.” Twilight says to herself.
“Forgive me for being blunt Miss Twilight, but why did you choose not to attend the arrival of me and my group.”
Twilight looks a bit surprised by my choice of wording. “Well aren’t you a straightforward one. I like that, it makes this easier.” I briefly notice a faint twitch from Silver in response to Twilight’s comment. “I wasn’t there because I don’t much care for humans.”
“Then you’ve done your research no doubt.” I say taking a step forward. “Most humans aren’t very pleasant people, but please don’t worry when I say me and my team bare Equestria no ill will.” I reach my hand forward hoping Twilight will accept the gesture. “I hope you can look past my race and focus on my character, then you can make your own decision whether or not you like me.”
Author's Note
Definitely not my best chapter, I'll be the first to say I'm not 100% happy with how this one turned out, but I haven't uploaded in 2 week so I figured I'd just post it. I tried re-writing it a couple time and just hit a huge writers block.
Also I will be changing my upload schedule to one chapter every 2 weeks from now on, I don't like doing these short one thousand word chapters. I want to focus more on quality and length rather that just getting a new one out every week.
“Well…” Twilight starts, pausing a moment to add to the dramatic flare.. “Aren’t you a rather courteous and formal spoken human, I thought Princess Celestia said no military or government personnel.”
“I hope this doesn’t come off as rude Miss Twilight, but are you suggesting the only polite ponies here are as disciplined as your soldiers and royalty.”
“Hmm, I suppose you do make a fair point, forgive me for accusing you. But are you denying that you’re military?” The Princess flashes me a sly grin.
“Yes Miss Twilight, I have never been part of the U.S. military or government.” I respond, not a lie, just a careful choice of phrasing. I fix my eyes on Twilight and gauge her reaction to my answer by carefully observing her facial expressions.
As I wait for Twilight's response I can’t help but gauge her form. She isn’t much different than the other ponies. She’s smaller than Celestia and Luna, but she is still a bit taller than all the other ponies that I’ve met besides the other alicorns. My eyes wander to her crown, it isn’t the element of magic which isn’t much of a surprise. It's a golden tiara with a small diamond in the center.
“Good.” Twilight says snapping me out of my thoughts. She stands aside and gestures down the hall with one of her hooves. “Lead the way please, I'd like to meet the other humans.”
“I’ll warn you Princess…” Silver interjects, brushing past me and Twilight to walk in front. “Not all the humans are as pleasant as Mr. Filler here.” As Twilight turns her head to glance at me, Silver takes the opportunity to turn her head and send me a playful wink. I tense the muscles in my gut to hold back the heave that threatens to ruin my dinner.
“I’ll just have to judge the others myself.” Twilight steps behind Silver to follow her and I follow in the back making sure to keep a respectful distance behind the Princess without lagging behind. “I must ask…” Twilight starts to say, glazing back at me. “I know we just met, but you don’t seem to miss your home very much. Why is that?”
“What would make you think that?” I ask, curious as to where she would have been able to figure that out from. She wasn’t wrong, but how could she tell?
“It’s your eyes, whenever somepony comes here from another kingdom, or I’m in another with a group of soldiers. They all have the same homesick look in their eyes or at least some kind of longing to get back, no matter how disciplined. But your eyes have no such look.”
“Why does everyone say they see something in my eyes?” Wondering how so many ponies are so damn observat of not only my eyes, but the subtle feelings in them.
“They say the eyes are the windows to the soul, they don’t betray someponie’s true feelings. If you look close enough you can see all sorts of things.” Twilight stops, causing Silver to also halt. Twilight turns around and puts her muzzle only a few inches away from my face. “I’m curious, what can you see in my eyes? Do you even know how to see somepony else’s soul?”
I just stare into Twilight eyes keeping my blank expression. “Are you challenging me Twilight?” I ask in a plain deadpan tone.
“Yes.” Twilight says in a matter of fact tone, not moving an inch. “I want you to look and tell me what you see.” I decide to humor the Princess and look into her eyes when I notice something I find quite amusing. Unable to contain myself I burst into laughter. “What? What is it? What’s so funny?” she questions in an almost demanding tone.
“Your…” I choke on my words and cut myself off. I take a deep breath in to compose myself and swallow my amusement. “Apologies, I usually never lose my composure.”
“Do you really find the idea of looking into someponies soul through their eyes so ridiculous?” Twilight asks, her face taking the shape of a kind of pout.
“No.” I assure Twilight. “Quite the opposite, you see the first thing I saw in your eyes is what made me laugh. The most prominent look in your eyes was intrigue and curiosity, which seemed normal, you find me interesting because of my demeanor. The thing that made me laugh so much though was the very heavy dose of fear in your eyes. Do you really find me that scary Miss Twilight?”
It’s interesting to watch Silver go pale though her fur, Twilight however just lets out a chuckle before speaking. “Well judging by the fact that you could see all that, I'm guessing my fear isn’t without reason.”
“I’d argue the opposite, you see I’d never aim any ill will at you or the other Princesses. If anything you should feel more at ease around me knowing that, given the order, I’d aim my talents at whichever pony you direct me towards.”
Twilight seems to ponder on this for a bit. “You are quite the odd one aren’t you? Now what could have possibly happened to make you swear loyalty to me and the other Princesses so soon after arriving? Were you ordered to give that little speech?”
“Once again you’re assuming the exact opposite, you were actually my ticket.”
“I'm afraid I don't know what that means.”
“You asked me why I don’t miss my world, this is the reason. You see, I’m not just here out of obligation. Granted I ended up here by chance, but I quickly realized that this was my chance to cut myself off from my country and my world. Yes back on earth we have some really good stuff, but here I actually have a real chance at living by my own design.”
“Hell, I’m lucky that the government was so desperate to start this mission and moved us here so fast after my “recruitment”, otherwise THEY probably would have stepped in.” I think to myself, folding my arms behind my head and walking past Twilight who was still processing my answer.
“But don’t you have an obligation to your own country, how can we trust your loyalty if you abandoned your last country?” Twilight asks, spinning around with a mix of frustration and confusion on her face.
“It’s Simple Princess.” I say turning my head to the side to look back at Twilight. “I’ve never sworn allegiance to any county, I just always helped the highest bidder, but here you're the only ponies I’ll take orders from. I’m at your service Princess.” I accentuate my last decree by winking back at Twilight and walk away towards the barracks Silver following me close behind.
After a silent ten or so minutes of walking me and Silver reach the entrance to the barracks, Twilight following close behind. “Do you think we took too long, is that why they left the mess hall without you? Do they suspect anything?” Silver asks me quietly.
“I don’t think we need to worry, they probably just got used to me being gone.” I respond, keeping my voice low as well.
“I guess you’re probably right, after you got separated the first time maybe they got used to it.” Silver turns around and falls back into her professional guard demeanor. ”Are you ready, your highness?” Silver asks, remaining formal in front of the other guards watching the door.
“Yes Silver Dagger, I’m ready to meet the humans.” Silver motions to the guard ponies and they open the doors to the barracks. Me and Silver trot into the room first, Twilight staying out of sight next to one of the doors.
“Everyone line up in front of your bunks.” Silver commands, showing me her professional assertiveness for the first time. Everyone gets off their beds and lines up in front of them. After noticing an empty bunk bed I walk over and stand in front of it. “Introducing her majesty who has come here to meet you all, Princess Twilight Sparkle.” Silver bows her head and walks off to the side, allowing Twilight to walk in.
Seeing her everyone bows their heads, quite a few of them with very excited looks on their faces. “You may raise your head everyone.” Twilight permits, glazing back and forth at everyone. “Which one of you is the commander?” She asks.
“That would be me.” One says, taking a step forward. He turns to her and once again takes a brief bow. “It is an honor to meet you, your highness.” One surprisingly extends his left hand, to offer a hoof shake.
Twilight glances at the offered hand and seems to hesitate to accept. “Come to think of it, she did also leave my hoof shake hanging when I offered it.” I observe, thinking on the topic a bit more. “I wonder if she doesn’t like the idea of touching humans.”
After a few seconds Twilight waves her hoof dismissively. “No need for all that, you’re our guests after all.” Twilight assures,
One lowers his hand and puts his full attention on Twilight. “Alright then what did you want with me? You asked who the commander was, so you must have something you’d like to ask.”
“Yes actually, it’s about that one over there.” Twilight raises and points a hoof at me. I don’t pay it too much mind though, if she was going to try and expose me she would have put up some sort of protection spell, and I was certain her horn never glowed. Not to mention I could feel the magic in the air back at the portal, but there was nothing here.
“You mean Anon?” One asks, glancing back at me. “What about him?”
“I ran into him and Silver Dagger in the hall earlier and we talked for a bit, but something kept bothering me…” Twilight takes a moment to pause and pick what she says next, obviously trying to figure out the question without giving too much of what happened away. “Do any of you know why his resting bitch face almost never seems to go away?”
And just like that, what I thought would be a question about what happened earlier suddenly turned into a jab at me. “I’m not sure.” One says, glancing at me and tilting his head a moment. “We haven’t had him on the team for long, but I do know what you mean about the resting bitch face.” A series of mumbled agreements seem to come from all members of the team.
“Oh well, figured it was worth asking.” Twilight says, her expression turning more serious after words. “Anyway, onto my main question. Can we really trust all of you?”
In an instant I could see all of One’s muscles tense up and judging by the movement of his throat, he gulped the second the words left Twilights mouth. “Yes your majesty, we were all selected because we came from normal places with no criminal, military or government backgrounds. We may not be the most reliable people, but we will never do anything to harm your land.”
“Empty words and glass promises.” Twilight almost spits in the commander's face. “I don’t just want your word, I want proof that you won’t betray us if your country asks you to.”
“A glass promise may be fragile, but it’s also transparent so you know there’s no hidden inside it.” I say, looking over at Twilight. “You just have to trust we have the strength to protect the promise from what may shatter it.”
“And what reason do I have to trust you have the strength to do that? What proof do you have?” Twilight asks, turning her attention to me, walking past One who seems frozen, without the strength to even turn his head.
“What proof do you want?” I ask. “Give us an idea, tell us how we need to prove to you that we have both Earth and Equestria’s best interest in mind.”
“NO!” One shouts, catching me and Twilight off guard. “I’m the leader god damnit. Tell me what to do. Tell me what and I’ll do anything to prove that me and my team are people you can trust.”
“Well, look at you acting like a leader, about time.” Twilight comments, turning around full and looking at One. “Congratulations, you pass.”
“What do you mean? Pass what?” One asks.
“If the commander, the one chosen to lead this group, didn't even have the balls to act like one, then what was there that the rest would follow?” Twilight starts walking towards the door. “As long as you lead your team and keep them in order then you have my blessing to remain here, and I’ll trust you for now.”
“Thank you, your highness.”
“Just don’t let me down.” Twilight glances up at me. “I’ll forgive him for not being able to control you.” I hear Twilight's voice say in my head, but don’t see her lips move. Then I take notice of the almost unnoticeable pink glow faintly wrapped around her horn.
“Telepathy ha? I didn’t even realize she could do that.” I think to myself. “Oh well, she can’t read my mind, so I’ll let this little intrusion go.”
Twilight's horn goes dark once again and she leaves the room. “Thank you all for your time.” Silver says. “You may go and explore the castle until lights out, however you must be accompanied by a guard. Would any of you care to go?” All at once almost every hand in the room shoots up, with the exception of One, 12, and Myself. Silver looks over at me a little disappointedly before looking back at everyone,
“Alright then, I’ll go fetch four guards and you can split into groups of three.” Silver says walking out of the room. “Wait here till I return.” and with that the doors shut and I’m finally left alone with the rest of the team.
A few people begin talking to each other about Twilight and I decide to test out the bed. I sit down on the edge and as I lay down and spread myself out I come to one quick conclusion. “These beds… are really fucking big.” I think to myself, not being able to touch my fingertips to the top and my toes to the bottom at the same time.
I curl up slightly on the bed before remembering my luggage. “Where did I put it again?” I wonder, glancing around the bunkroom. After giving the room a once over I notice it sitting by the door. “Ah that’s right, I just tossed it in here before we all left to go to dinner.” I get up and walk over to the back, overhearing a conversation on my way.
“I hope she’s getting female guards.” 2 says as I walk past. I pause in front of my bag and kneel down. I open it and pretend to look for something so I can hear the rest of this discussion. “I mean I know it’s a part of their culture and all, but if I have to stare at one more penis, I’m going to throw up.”
“I thought you were bi.” 3 remarks.
“Just because I enjoy the company of men doesn’t mean I find horse cock appealing.” 2 corrects. “Not every gay guy has the impulsive need to stretch their asshole to it’s theoretical breaking point.” 3 lets out a sigh and I see him wipe the sweat from his forehead out of the corner of my eye. “At least with the females you can ignore it, but it’s kind of hard not to notice every ‘five legged’ stallion.”
I zip up my duffle bag and take it over to my bunk. “Hey One.” I say. One glances up from his lying position on the bunk across from mine.
“What?” he asks.
“I get her not wanting to go.” I point up at 12 sitting on her top bunk. “But why don’t you want to go and explore the castle?”
“S’not like we’re gonna be livin here, I don’t really feel like seein all the fancy stuff we’ll never get.” One sit up and stretches his arms, I hear an audible pop come from his shoulder. “Honestly, I just want to get going already.”
“You seem rather eager, did you get Ponyville or somethin?” Marie asks, walking over to the bunk.
“No, but I do get to go out and live in the country.” One pulls out his white paper that he got from his locker and flips it over. “I get to go see Apploosa.”
“You lucky bastard.” Marie pulls out her slip and flips it. “I gotta deal with all the shiny ponies out in the Crystal Empire.”
“At least you know what you’re in for.” Marco says, slipping himself into the conversation holding up his own paper. “I got Prance. Please tell me they still speak English there.”
“I think the accents and speech patterns change, but I think every country still speaks ‘Equestrian,’ at least I think so.” I say.
“What about you Anon?” Marie asks “Where are you going to be staying?”
Author's Note
Hello, I just wanted to clarify something as the story progresses. This story is set in an alternate universe, not only for Equestria, but also for earth. There will be mentions of wars that haven't happened and things that happened in the real world might not be mentioned. for example: On this earth *ovid never happened, Trump was never president, and Ukraine was ever attacked. It also takes place a good few decades in the future.
Okay, I'll stop talking now, but before I go I just want to say goodbye to a very talented writer who will officially no longer be posting on FimFiction. They're alright, but will no longer be writing here. Goodbye Crystal Wishes, you will be missed here.
Author's Note
Hello, yes I'm still alive. Sorry this took so long and that it's not longer, but I hope you enjoy. Also Happy Thanksgiving.
Chapter 13
“What’s the best option here?” I wonder, taking a moment to run through my options in my head. The world around me slows to the point it appears to not even move as I think. “If I tell them the truth it might attract more attention than I want, after all Ponyville is a pretty big deal for these guys. On the other hand, if I lie and tell them I’m going somewhere else I could come back to bite me. Chances are they’ll ask each person where they’re all going in front of the whole group.”
“When they gave us our papers they were written in plain black sharpie, so I forged a second name on the back of my original slip just in case. But is it wise to lie at this point?” I let out the breath and time appears to return to its normal flow. “I’m going to hell that’s where.”
“Sorry, what was that?” Marie asks, leaning in to hear me.
“Don’t get me wrong.” I start to say, planning out every word before speaking. “It’s cool that I get to go, but you have to admit, the most shit seems to go wrong here.” I hold up my paper, the back with the forged name facing me, the front displaying my location to my curious comrades, “Ponyville.”
“Sweet, good to know someone trustworthy will make a good impression on the most famous place in Equestria.” One looks around after finishing his sentence. He cups his hand around his mouth and leans in. “You want us to keep this secret, I mean I like these guys and all, but they can be pretty vicious, especially when it comes to Ponyville.”
“Actually yeah, I’d appreciate that.” I say, giving One a smile with a bit of false weakness, ”I don’t really want to be pushed out more because I drew the golden straw.” I slip the paper back in my pocket and look over at Marie and Marco. “Do you guys mind keeping this a secret as well.”
“Nah man.” Marie assures resting her hand on Marco’s shoulder. “We got your back and we’re happy for you. Although you do have a point, the most batshit stuff does always seem to go down in Ponyville.”
“Marie's right, our lips are sealed.” Marco says, giving me a smile.
At that moment the doors of the room sing open and Silver walks in, accompanied by four other royal guards. “Alright everypony, get into groups of three and pick a guard to accompany you.” Silver says gesturing at the guard ponies behind her. Three of them were female and the fourth I recognized right away.
“Fine Tip?” I ask walking up. “How did you get roped into doing castle tours?”
Fine Tip looks over at me and sighs. “Apparently my behavior in the cafeteria was ‘improper and not befitting a royal guard’, so they said I needed to do some more grunt work.” Fine tip takes a few steps forward and walks past me. “So who do I get to show around?” Suddenly the room goes quiet, no one really wanting to go with him. In the silence I notice a faint wave similar to the power I felt in the portal room radiating from Fine Tip’s golden armor.
“Is your gear enchanted?” I ask, which seems to surprise Fine Tip.
“Uh, yeah.” he answers a bit hesitantly. “How could you tell, this armor’s custom, most guards don't have any magic in their armor.”
I focus more on Fine Tip’s armor and realise I can’t just feel the power, but it seems to let out a faint hum. “It’s a bit hard to miss.” I say. “That hum is a bit distracting if I’m being honest.”
My last sentence seems to get Silver’s attention as well as the unicorn guard Silver brought with her. “Did you say you hear a hum?” the other unicorn asks.
“Yeah, it’s like a constant low hushed piano key.” After saying this Silver eyes go wide and she takes a step forward.
“Wait, you can actually hear the magic in Fine Tip’s armor?” Silver asks, walking a small circle around me. Before looking up at the others in the room “Can any of you also hear anything?” The whole room goes silent and listens for a second which gives me more time to really listen to the sound of Fine Tip’s gear. After a few moments the rest of my team all say that they don’t really hear anything. “Stange.” Silver mutters.
“Is there any reason you seem so fixed on this Silver Dagger?” I ask.
“Well yeah, here in Equestria only unicorns can feel magic and very few of them can actually hear it.” Silver does another curious circle around me before looking back at my face. “Can you think of any reason you might be able to hear magic?”
I think for a moment, not only to figure out if there was actually a reason, but also to think of an excuse so the others don’t question me. “I guess I do have sensitive ears, for example I could hear dog whistles back home.” This isn't a total lie, I was able to hear much higher frequencies back when I had my hearing implants, but I haven’t had those for years now.
“I suppose that could explain it.” Silver says, pausing a moment. “I guess it doesn’t really matter. Anyway, now that that’s over, time to get going.”
The other members of the team split off into their groups and began to file out the door. “See y’all later.” I say before going back over to my lager bed and laying back down. I mean to merely rest my head a bit, but eventually I succumb to the calming embrace of sleep.
* * *
“Where are we?” I hear an echoey voice ask from behind me.
I scan the black void around for the intruder, finally I spot a large dark blue Alicorn standing about twenty feet away almost fading into the background of my mind. “I was wondering how long it would take before you started poking around in here. Although I must admit I expected you to wait at least a few days.” I say, approaching the mare.
“I was curious to know what the dreams of a human looked like, however I am surprised at the lack of thought here.” Luna defends. I let out a small chuckle before coming face to muzzle with the smaller pony. “Wha… how did I get so small?” She asks, looking over her body, only to find her wings missing. “HOW?” the mare growls in my face.
“Don’t worry, nothing here is permanent, but this is mymind, so you can only appear in whatever form I let you.”
“That’s impossible, no pony has that much control over their dreams.”
“Well I’m not a pony, am I?” I say, lingering on a stray thought for a moment before waving my hand. “And now neither are you, not fully anyway.” The Alicorn who had once stood in front of me was now replaced with a slender woman with dark blue fur and a long elegant black dress. Her face however was still the same, if not a tiny bit smaller.
Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter. “What the fuck is this!?” I heard one of my teammates scream as I made my way back to the barracks after departing from Princess Luna’s room. Quickly picking up my pace I rushed to the barracks and the source of the ruckus.
“What’s going on?” I asked, throwing the doors open. Everyone was huddled around someone in the middle of the room and none of them paid my entrance any attention. I made my way over to the crowd and in the middle was Marie. As I lowered my eyes, my blood ran cold. “Is that what I think it is?” I asked one of the others in the huddle.
“I think it is.” he answered, before asking. “Marie, what did you do for a living before you joined the program?”
“Huh?” Marie looked up at the source of the question. “I was an editor for a magazine. And a damn good one I might add.” seeing that Marie could still joke in her current state brought me a small bit of relief. I once again glanced down at her hand, seemingly printed on the back of her right hand was a piece of paper with a red marker crossing out sections of it.
“Does this mean we’re all gonna get cutie marks while we’re living here?” another team member asked and I felt another spike of fear, shuddering at the thought of what my mark would look like and what it would say about me.
“Did anyone else wake up with marks on their hands or anywhere else?” I asked, glancing around the room. All I got were a few “negatives” and people shaking their heads. “Well if no one else had a mark then we can’t say for sure if we’ll all get one.”
“Now come on.” I said, swatting at people to move away. “Give Marie some breathing room, you’re gonna suffocate ‘er” After Marie was free from the crowd I began making my way over to my bunk, but was interrupted by a new guest.
“Rise and shine humans.” A guard's voice boomed as he threw open the doors. “Oh,” he let out more sheepishly. “You’re all already awake.”
“We did have to live on a government base before we all came here,” Mark replied. “We didn’t exactly get to sleep in. Although I’m surprised you were the first awake Anon.”
“The more time you waste sleeping the less time you have to work.” I stated matter-of-factly
“Anyway.” the guardpony piped up again, “Your carriages will be here soon, get your things together and I’ll escort you to the front of the palace.”
Hearing this news my mind once again drifted back to the thought of where I would be headed after leaving the castle. I was curious as to what Ponyville looked like nowadays. As we already knew, the events of the My Little Pony TV show were based off of stories here in Equestria. The proof that they actually happened being Twilight Sparkle and the other princesses. The events had happened decades or even centuries before the creator of the show ended up here.
“You heard the pony, everyone get your bags ready and line up.” Mark announced, causing everyone around me to instantly scramble to get their stuff and file in line. I also didn’t delay with my packing, and quickly went to the back of the line.
* * *
The walk through the castle was uneventful, just militarily following in a single file march. Eventually we made it to the front of the castle where a line of carriages were waiting to take us all to our various new homes. Standing just next to the line were all three of the princesses along with a dark grey mare I don’t recognise.
“Greetings everyone.” Luna’s voice boomed, not quite the Royal Canterlot Voice, but loud enough to command authority. Her mane was in a long braid, a single purple rose still peeking out of one side. “Best we do this efficiently to get you all out of here as soon as possible. When my assistant Pitch Feather reads off your new place of residence please step forward and show her your paper slip. Understood?”
A collective “Yes Your majesty.” rang out before names start being called and carriages are loaded.
“Prance.” Pitch feather read out, Marco quickly stepped forward and held up his piece of paper. “Appleloosa” Mark came forth and presented his paper before getting in the carriage which then got pulled away. “The Crystal Empire.” This time Marie went up to claim her ride. “The Griffon Empire.” 12 Stepped forward to get in her ride as well. Of course the quiet one I know next to nothing about got to go to the only country that actually serves meat.
By now there are only four of us left and the rest of the team is on their way to their new countries or cities. “Manehattan” The couple Jack and Amy both step forward both holding identical slips with the same destination. Good for them, at least the government wasn’t cruel enough to split them up. “Ponyville.” My stomach sank a little finally hearing it get called out. I took my first step forward and showed my slip to Pitch feather, making sure to keep the back and with it the fake name covered.
“Have a safe trip, and try not to get into too much trouble in Ponyville.” Twilight told me as I approached.
“Thank you Princess.” I responded. “I hope I’ll see you again some time, perhaps if I’m ever invited to a ball or gala I’ll be sure to say hi.” I pass twilight and move closer to my carriage. “And I hope to see you again soon as well Luna. Perhaps in one of my dreams.” I whispered as I passed the princess of the night so only she could hear me.
I boarded my carriage and a thought accrued to me as we began to pull away. I probably shouldn't have done it, but although I’d never admit it, when it came to things I shouldn't do I was nothing if not indulgent. I took out my quill and ink, and ripped a small piece of paper out of one of my notebooks and jotted down a quick note. “No harm in making sure the thing works.” I mumbled to myself.
“Dear Princess Luna, Try not to miss me too much, signed Anon Filler.” My note reads, and as I finished writing my signature, the note was swept up in a flash of dark purple fire. ‘Cool’ I thought, some of the more ~~paranoid~~ dedicated members of our team had sent reports back last night before going to sleep. I believed it to be pointless considering we hadn’t even been gone for twenty four hours so no one should be expecting word from us. All the notes written however had disappeared in a quick flash of white light, no fire.
I turned around and managed to catch the sight of a small purple fire appearing in front of princess Luna and spitting out a note. Upon reading said note Luna proceeded to glare daggers at my carriage as it pulled away, but she paused when we made eye contact and I took the opportunity to give her a smile and a small wave. She gave a small pout at my action and subtly waved a hoof just above the ground.
If I could get in good graces with one of the princesses then I wouldn’t have to entertain Silver as much to find out the goings on of the royal palace. Silver was a nice pony and all, but she was far more forward and expecting then I cared for. “Seriously, who kisses a person they just met because ‘I haven't fucked someone of your species yet, wanna try it?’ I mean come on, how long would I need to keep the act up for with that mare.” I rambled in my head.
Luna was a far easier partner, at least in terms of upkeep. She would be hard to court at first, but once the first step was taken, the rest of the walk would be, well a walk in the park. Plus If she ever truly needed me to commit more I could always use the loophole of, “If I have sex with her in our shared dream then I’m not actually violating my orders.” Plus if she still wasn’t satisfied then it was far easier to get ‘creative’ in the dreamscape then real life.
* * *
After a short carriage ride due to the fact that it was flown to Ponyville, we finally landed. I was told to exit and bring my luggage to the town office and they’ll tell me where I’ll be staying for the foreseeable future. Upon exiting the carriage I was instantly enveloped by pink, I was being squeezed so hard I instinctively reach for the knife usually strapped to my lower back but manage to halt my movements both because I knew this was not a threat and because it wasn't there anymore due to the restrictions back on earth. "I need to find a place to get new weapons as soon as possible" I thought absently to myself.
After a few moments my feet were finally put back firmly on the ground. “Hi I'm Pinkie Pie welcome to Ponyville I heard we’d be getting a visitor from Earth staying with us you’re a human right I’ve never met a human before you have to tell me all about your world some time I’m sure it’s really cool they never told us what day you’d get here so I didn’t have time to plan a welcome to Ponyville party yet so I’ll start working on it right now it was nice meeting you bye.”
And just like that without even taking a breath Pinky had sped off. “Is that really the original pinky Pie?” I wondered. “I know she was kind of considered a freak of nature, but how the hell is she still alive?” Twilight was one thing, she’s an immortal alicorn so I expected her to be here, but Pinky? I did not see that coming. She was different too, her voice was obviously different from her voice actor back on earth. Surprisingly it was actually a pitch or two lower and she never once even gave off the impression she required oxygen to function. Her fur was also less pale, it was closer to the color of her mane from the actual show, her mane being only a slight shade darker than her fur.
“She’s as lively as ever.” one of my carriage guards comments. “You’d think after living for almost two centuries she’d lose some of that energy. Seriously, how is anypony supposed to even understand her when she talks that fast?”
“Hi. I’m Pinkie pie, welcome to Ponyville.” I begin to recite from memory as I go back to the carriage to get my luggage that I wasn’t able to take out before being bear hugged by Pinkie. “I heard we'd be getting a visitor from Earth staying with us. You’re a human right?.” I pause my speaking as I do another inventory check of my bags before resuming. “I’ve never met a human before, you have to tell me all about your world some time, I’m sure it’s really cool. They never told us what day you’d get here so I didn’t have time to plan a welcome to Ponyville party yet, so I’ll start working on it right now. It was nice meeting you bye.”
I glanced over at the guards as I stepped back out of the carriage which both had rather perplexed looks on their faces. “What? You said you couldn’t understand her, so I assumed you wanted to know what she said.”
“You really got all that? That’s actually kind of scary.” At that comment I decided I had everything I needed and began to make my way towards the town office.
It was a bit odd, in the castle everything seemed bigger. Obviously you could just chalk that up to being grand because it was, after all, a castle. But even here in a small town everything seemed just a little bigger than what I was used to. The table and chairs outside were thicker and more sturdy, the doorways were a bit taller. Even the alleys seemed wider, more like small side streets.
I finally reached a small building tucked away on one of the back alleys and opened the large front door to find out just where I’d be living from here on out. As I entered the mare behind the front desk perked up and leaned over her desk slightly. “Ah, you must be the human the Princess said would be arriving today. Give me a moment to go fetch Mayor Quickstamp and he’ll have the paperwork for you to fill out.”
Without another word the pony hooped out of her seat and trotted into a closed door on the back wall. I took a look around the small waiting area before the pony emerged again, this time with another just behind her. “Hey, I’m Mayor Quickstamp, you must be the diplomat from the human world.” the pegasus said lifting their hoof, although it was curled back and lifted higher than I was used to.
I let out a small amused sigh as I realised what they were doing. I balled my fist and raised it a bit away from their hoof and at the same time we hoof/fist bumped. “Sup, I’m Anon.” I said, adjusting to the ponies demeanor. Interactions always went smoother if you could match the other person/pony’s energy. “I was told I had to fill out some paperwork and then you’d tell me where I’ll be crashing.”
“Yep,” she said, reaching back and pulling out a few loose papers and handing them over. “Fill these out best you can so we can get a better idea of anything you might need while you’re staging here. After you’re done we’ll get you set up at Carousel Boutique.”
I still at that last sentence going slightly rigid, slowly looking up from examining the papers in my hand. “Wait, as in…”
I’m cut off by a small chuckle from the Mayor. “Not too surprising, the element of generosity agreed to host our important guest.” The mayor then begins to walk over to the coat rack in the corner before slipping a tan coat off it and on her back accompanied by a matching fedora.. “I've got meetings go to and projects to help with, so I'll be out of the office for the rest of the day. Just give those papers to Steady Quill here when you’re done and she'll let you know how to get to Carousel Boutique.”
"Great." I cursed internally. "So no only is Pinkie still here, but if I had to wager a guess, I'd say all the element bearers were still alive and kicking. The government really does love keeping information us and the rest of the public don't they."
“I’ll see you at home later.” Quickstamp says giving Steady Quill a peck on the cheek who blushed furiously in return.
“Wow,” I let out, moving towards one of the large chairs. “Even Equestrians can’t resist their secretaries. Maybe we have more in common with ponies than we originally thought,”
That was the first thing that earned a full outburst of laughter from the laid back Mayor. “I like you.” they declared, giving a firm pat on my back as they passed and made their way to the door.
Quickstamp gives a small wave to me and Steady Quill before closing the door and leaving us in what Steady Quill probably thought was an awkward silence, since she felt the need to fill it. “I-it’s not like w-we’re hiding it or anything. We’ve been dating for almost two years, and the whole town knows.”
“The public displays of affection just take some getting used to?” I offer, checking off a box to clarify that I, in fact, could not photosynthesise.
“Yeah. I mean, I like how laid back and carefree she is, but sometimes I wish she’d give me a little warning before doing some of the stuff she does.“ Steady Quill rants a little bit.
“I’m required by human law to inform you that I’m not a licensed therapist.” I can’t help the slight smirk that takes over my lips and I tick off the last box to inform that I do indeed need to breathe oxygen.
“RIght.” Steady Quill huffed, but she had a smile on her face. “All done?” She questioned.
“Yeah, here.” I handed over the papers and grabbed my bags off the floor where they had been temporarily forgotten and began to head for the door.
“Ah, Carousel Boutique…”
“Isn’t too far from town hall in the southern part of town?” I interrupt.
“Um, yes. It shouldn't take you too long to get there.” Steady Quill answers in mild confusion
“Thanks for the directions.” and with that I exited the town office and began to walk to where I’d spend the rest of my time in Ponyville living.
* * *
The walk to Carousel Boutique wasn’t too bad, it wasn’t very out of the way and most of the ponies at least pretended that they weren’t staring. I approached the front door and gave it a few firm knocks before I heard a light trot approach the door. It opened and Rarity gave me a quick once over before her face fell slightly in a look of mild disappointment, but it only lingered for a moment before her smile was back on her face a bit more strained.
“When you heard the term diplomat were you expecting someone in finer clothes and better mannerisms?” I prompted, crossing my arms and leaning against the doorway, trying to cover my own mild disappointment. There was one detail about Rarity no show could have prepared me for, the faintest lingering scent of bleach clung to the fashionista’s fur, covered by heavier perfume, but the scent was still there.
“No darling.” Rarity replied, the slightest flush on her cheeks in embarrassment of getting caught. “I was just surprised, I thought you’d be taller.”
‘Oldest excuse in the book but I’ll take what I can get.’ I thought as Rarity moved aside to let me in the closed storefront. “How often do you have to do it?” I asked, following her into the back.
“Do what?” she asked, only mild confusion in her voice.
“I can smell the bleach in your coat.” At that Rarity still completely and I was forced to stop as well as the fashionista turned her head around slowly but made no move to speak. “I’d rather not be around when you have to refresh it to keep your roots hidden and I’m guessing it’s something you don’t want to have to do knowing I’m wandering around the house.”
Rarity blinked slowly a couple times before turning the rest of her body sideways to half face me. “Usually once every 25 days or so.” She ran a hoof through her coat. “I refreshed it last night so I shouldn't have to redo it for a bit.”
“Alright” I said strolling past her into the kitchen. “Thanks for this by the way, I wasn’t sure you were someone who wanted to put up with this.”
Rarity followed me into the back and began going through one of the cupboards. “You’re nowhere near the rudest person I’ve met, you're a bit blunt, but it's no trouble.”
“I was actually referring more to Pinkie Pie.“ I clarified.
“What do you mean?”
“Well not only am I a human diplomat, but I’m also a new resident of Ponyville. It won’t be too long before she bursts through that door with a party cannon and enough guests to fill the Canterlot Castle ballroom.”
“Oh silk string, I forgot about that, I guess my age really is getting to me.” Rarity wined putting a dramatic hoof on her forehead.
“You don’t look a day over 80.” I deadpanned from the seat at the table I had claimed. Earning a glare from the mare.
“What time did you arrive in Ponyville?” Rarity asked electing to ignore my ‘compliment’.
“A little after Nine.” I said, glancing down at my watch which I had altered to match Equestrian time as best I could. It had taken a lot of reprogramming because according to a guard I had asked in the castle the days here were 18 hours of sunlight and 12 hours of night. That would take some getting used to.
“And how long did it take for Pinky to find you.”
“I hadn’t even grabbed my bags from my carriage.”
“Ah, I see.” Rarity seemed to ponder for a minute before turning to me with furrowed brows. “I do believe we have about 23 seconds.” Because of my love for theatrics and comedic timing I opted to enter a sort of staring contest as we sat in complete silence, only broken by the ticking of the clock. And then, 23 seconds later the front shop door burst open and a loud explosion was heard as confetti drifted in though the kitchen door and booming music began to play.
“Thank you for your generosity, sorry for inconvenience.” I monotoned from my seat.
“Would you like a cup of tea to go with the cake Pinky’s going to shove down your throat.” The mare asked, procuring a kettle as well as some herbs and honey.
“please.”
Author's Note
Still alive ~~barely~~,
Sorry these are taking so long. I've given up on actually having an upload schedule and I'm just kinda writing when I have time or a good idea. Hope you like what I've managed.
The sound of trotting hooves and thumping feet fills the echoey hallways of Canterlot Castle as me and the rest of the expedition team are led to the princesses throne room by the golden armored guard pony. We turn down a new hallway and at the end is a large golden door with two more ponies standing guard. “The diplomats have arrived to meet their majesties.“ The pony leading us calls out, and the other royal guards open the door for us. As we enter the room we immediately spot the two three lage golden thrones. In the middle sits Her Solar Majesty, Princess Celestia. On her right sits her sister, The Mare of the Night, Princess Luna.
“Your majesties,” the guard calls out needling before the princess, followed by most of the group, with the exception of two guys who don’t seem to get the message nearly as fast. “Sorry to show up unannounced, but I have brought the diplomats from the human world you called for.”
“So, these are the ponies ‘America’ sent to investigate our lands.” Luna says, leaning forward in her throne to get a better look.
“People, dear sister.” Celestia corrects.
“People. Right, sorry.” Luna says. Luna glances down and notices one of the quill cases jutting out of one of our luggage bags. “Ugh, it was bad enough they wanted to place their people in our land, but then they made us give them a way to communicate between realms, I swear those people have no shame.”
I glance at the object of her majesty's dislike and let out a small sigh. “Allow me to apologize on behalf of our country your majesty, the government is just cautious of new lands and ponies, a trait I’m sure even you can see merit in. Please let me assure you that we bear you no ill will and if you’d like we can grant you copies of all our letters that we send back to our handlers. Also please forgive me for speaking out of turn, your majesties.”
“No need to apologize, human.” Princess Celestia assures. “I’m sure you all have your reasons for wanting to communicate in private, so I won’t ask you to grant us copies of your letters, however if you do find something of interest or worry please let me know. As far as the quills go, I think my sister is being a bit over dramatic.”
“Over dramatic?” Luna calls out, offended. “I had to pluck out one of my one feathers for those barbarians.”
“And I gave them fourteen, you don’t have to get so worked up.”
“They didn’t ask you to give them one of your primaries, you know how personal of a request that is. Like I said before they’re all shameless.”
“Very well, but can we please get back to the matter at hoof.”
“Yes, yes, very well”
“Thank you.” Celestia offers, before continuing. “As I’ve been made aware, all of you were given a separate destination to reside in for the foreseeable future. Is that correct?”
“Yes your majesty.” The big guy with the beard says, standing up to speak. “My name is Mark Hanson., I’m the quote unquote leader of this team, according to the people back at the holding base. They told me to act as the team's voice while we were in your presence and to answer any questions you may have.”
“Well, I’m glad to see that the government at least thought this far ahead.” Celestia quips, a not so subtle hint of sarcasm in her voice. “Oh, please forgive me, I meant no offense by that, my tongue was faster than my brain there for a second.”
“Think nothing of it, your majesty.“ He assures. “I also wanted to inform you that as the designated “leader”, I was given bits of information that the others weren’t allowed to know, at least not before the commencement of the mission. One of these insights was how the Quills work, once you sign your name at the bottom the letter is sent to whoever’s name is written at the top, this can be anyone or anypony. For the quill to work you also need to have a picture of who you are sending it to in your mind. I was instructed to have everyone address their letters to doctor Alice Planner, a scientist back on earth.”
“I’m well aware of how the quills work, I enchanted them after all.”
“Right, your majesty. Well, I was never instructed to have anyone withhold information from you, so if you want we can still send you a copy of every letter, it wouldn’t be much trouble.”
“There’s no need, as I said, I am sure you have your reasons.” Celestia reminds. “Anyway, getting back on track. We weren’t informed of your arrival so I’m afraid we’ll need a night to get all the transportation and guards in order. If you’d like, you can use one of the empty guard barracks rooms.”
“That would be perfect, your majesty, thank you for your hospitality.”
“You are very welcome, now if you follow razor thin here,” Celestia gestures over to the guard that escorted us here. “He will show you to your quarters.”
“Then we’ll be off your highnesses.” The leader, before turning and following the stallion with the rest of the team behind him.
“Actually,” Celestia says as we begin to leave. “I’d like to speak with that one for a moment.” Celestia raises her hoof and points at me.
“Me your majesty?” I ask, turning around and dropping back onto my knee.
“Yes, the rest of you can go.” and with that order, the others walk out and close the door.
“Do you require my presence, sister?” Luna Questions.
“No, you may retire as well, I know you don’t like staying up during the mid day hours.”
“Well then, good day sister.” Luna trots over to the doors and exits the room.
“Now then, down to business.” Celestia’s aura changes in an instant. She appears less official and welcoming, more focused and cautious. “The other quill boxes I saw were gold, but that one in your pocket appears to be black. Am I to assume it’s my sister's feather in that box?”
“Yes your majesty, would you like me to return it?” I ask, not wanting to cause a conflict only after just arriving.
“No!.” celestia shouts, much to my surprise. “Ehem, the truth is the government didn’t ask for one of Luna’s primaries. They just asked for fifteen feathers with that mailing enchant. The reason I used one of Luna’s like that, was so I could add a second enchant. You see, a normal feather can only have one enchant, but a primary has enough power for two, but I knew if one of the feathers was one of my primaries they’d get suspicious. So I asked Luna for one of hers and told the government that her power was weaker than mine and that I needed to use one of her primaries to put the enchantment on it. But please don't tell Luna.”
“Wait, so this thing has two enchants?”
“That is correct.”
“What kind of enchant?”
“That, I’m afraid I can not tell you. You see, the reason I put a second enchant on it was so I could run an experiment. One where the results will change if you know exactly what it is.”
“And you trust me knowing all this because…?”
“At first I was going to keep it to myself, but after that politeness earlier coupled with the fact that you have no loyalties to your government I felt I could trust you.”
“What makes you think I have no loyalties to the government?”
“That’s exactly what, you always refer to them as something completely separate from yourself. You keep saying thegovernment, not my orourgovernment. You don’t like being associated with them. My only question is, do you hate the government or your country?”
Author's Note
A/N
Also please leave a like if enjoy, I'm a little bummed out that only 50% of people like this.