Old Friends

Yona sat on the floor pillow in front of Starlight’s desk, dubious of the chairs’ ability to accommodate her large yak frame. She had taken a meandering path, but was now finally coming to her point.

"Yaks no celebrate Hearth's Warming but Yona family want her to come home for break,” she sighed gruffly. “But Yona want stay in Ponyville and celebrate pony holiday with Sandbar family. But if Yona no come home, Yona family be angry."

Starlight glanced at the clock. She needed to wrap this up if she wanted to fit five more students in seventy-five minutes. "You're growing up, Yona. You're already living far away from home. I don't know how things work in Yak culture and I know family is always important, but at some point they'll have to recognize that you're an individual who needs to be allowed to make her own decisions. Balancing family and friends is something all of us have to learn how to do. But Yona, it's a long break, and Hearth's Warming is toward the beginning. You can just celebrate with Sandbar and then go home for the rest of the break.”

Yona's face lit up. "That great idea! Thank you, Miss Glimmer!"

Starlight smiled as Yona shot up and lumbered excitedly out of the room, probably to tell Sandbar the good news.

Little snowflakes gathered delicately in the fuzz of Starlight’s beanie as she scanned over the vibrant plaza. She found Sunburst under the big Hearth's Warming tree and to her chagrin, Trixie was there with him. When Starlight first imagined this moment, Trixie was not part of it, but of course she never explicitly stated that Trixie couldn't come. That seemed rude.

"Hey, you two," she greeted, making a concerted effort not to betray a hint of annoyance in her voice. Her eyes went to the ground where sat a paper bag. "Oh, did you do some holiday shopping?"

Sunburst blinked. "Huh… oh, no, we just did a little bit of antiquing. But don't worry. I still haven't seen much. We spent most of the day just talking at the cafe."

Starlight felt a pang of panic in her heart. Why are they doing things together… without me? They just met. I'm the mutual friend here.

"Forgot I still had this," he chuckled. "I'll just put it back in my room and we can go. Be back in a moment."

Sunburst, vanished in a flash of magic.

Starlight immediately turned to Trixie. "You hung out with him all day?"

"Yeah?" shrugged Trixie. "I didn't have anything else to do."

"You went antiquing with him? You don't even like antiquing."

"Sure I do."

Starlight squinted suspiciously at her.

Trixie looked away and pawed at a clump of snow at her hooves. "Well, he seems to think it's fun, so I thought I'd give it a try," she admitted.

Starlight sighed. "You know, I'm starting to feel a little-"

Suddenly, Sunburst reappeared next to her. "Alright. Where to first?"

Starlight stuffed her grievances deep down inside and put on a semi-genuine smile. "Let's go!"

The lights at town Hall were beautiful. So were the icicles at the frozen over fountain. They plodded through the winter section of the botanical gardens. Trixie never seemed to leave Sunburst's side which prompted Starlight to closely flank his other side as they walked, pointing out anything that looked interesting in hopes of getting his attention, in hopes of getting him to expound on anything he happened to know about so that she could smile, nod and ask more questions to hold him as long as she could before Trixie made another joke or a resonating observation.

Starlight showed Sunburst her new house, which of course Trixie had already seen a dozen times, but she at least feigned interest either to be nice or possibly to not feel excluded from the moment like she had done when she went antiquing with Sunburst.

Starlight ended the tour at the School of Friendship.

"It's so grandiose," marveled Sunburst, eyeing every inch of the magnificent foyer, the archways, the columns and the glowing enchanted torches. "It's brand new, but it really exudes an air of classical prestige."

"Is that Sunburst I hear waxing poetic about my school?" giggled Twilight from behind them. "I hope you're here for an interview. We've got teaching positions open."

"Who? Me?" he laughed, embarrassed.

"Of course."

"You'd be a great teacher," added Starlight.

"May- maybe."

"How long are you in town?" asked Twilight.

"A week."

"Aw, you'll be gone when I get back. How are you liking Ponyville though?"

"It's great. There's a lot more to see and do here than I thought."

After a short visit, they parted ways with Twilight and journeyed through the halls.

In Starlight's office, Sunburst examined the autographed poster of Trixie on the wall.

"So, Trixie, when is your next show?" he asked. "I'd love to see it."

"A day after Hearth's Warming. You'll still be in town. You have to come. I'll save you a free front row ticket and a backstage pass. I don't even have those," she giggled. "But I could just invent one for you. I'm sure I could think of something to show you back there."

"So, anyway," interrupted Starlight. "This is my office plant. Her name is Phyllis." She floated the potted plant in between the two of them, breaking their line of sight with one another.

At the end of the night, Starlight was dismayed that she still hadn't been able to just speak frankly with Sunburst on her own terms. Not only that, she still felt like an outsider to Trixie and Sunburst's night. The two mares left the hotel and Starlight walked downcast with Trixie back to her wagon.

"You were right," began Trixie, energetically. "That was actually pretty fun."

Starlight sighed. "Trixie, I don't know how to say this, but our old-friends-catching-up vibe here is kind of being derailed."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean I'm kind of feeling like the third wheel in a situation that I arranged for Sunburst and me." She stopped short of saying that Trixie shouldn't have even been there, hoping that she'd just put things together herself and understand.

"That's not my fault," replied Trixie aghast.

"It… kind of is. You just tagged along without thinking about it and I think… maybe… you're overstepping your boundaries a little "

"My boundaries," she scoffed. "What are you talking about?"

See? I knew there was no way to have this conversation with her. "Sunburst. You know he's been my friend since we were little and you've been being a little flirty with him."

Trixie shrugged dismissively. "So? It's not like he's your coltfriend or something."

"Well… no, he's not right now but still, you can't just…"

Trixie blinked "Wait, did you… like him like that?"

"I, well…" she fumbled awkwardly. For fuck's sake, Starlight, she scolded herself. We're not in grade school. Just tell her. "Yes," she admitted flatly.

Trixie sighed a puff of steam as the two of them stopped at the steps of her wagon. "Starlight, if I'd had known that from the beginning I would have made sure not to cross that line but you had what? Like fifteen years to make a move or something? How am I to believe that you're suddenly serious this time? Are you sure you're not just jealous he's now my friend too?”

Starlight furrowed her brow. "Are you making a pass at him?"

"Yeah," she answered bluntly.

"Well, stop!" blurted Starlight, angrily.

"Wha- what? No! You can't just order me around."

Starlight's eyes narrowed. “Listen, Trixie, I’ve had a lot of shit going on in my life for a long time. I'm actually managing my issues now and things were starting to get better. I’m stable with a good job and I was finally able to start having healthy relationships with other ponies again. For the first time ever, I feel like I can put myself out there. My entire rehabilitation was building toward this moment and then what happens? You swoop in and-"

"I didn't swoop in,” interjected Trixie defensively. "It happened naturally. You invited me to come have dinner with him and then we really hit it off. We have chemistry and lots in common."

Starlight's eye twitched at hearing this. It almost seemed like Trixie had made better inroads with Sunburst than she had since her episode over his cutie mark, years ago.

“Wait," posed Trixie. "if you’re so upset about us spending time together alone, have you talked to Sunburst about it at all?”

“Well… no but-” Starlight became flustered. She knew she had a valid point. She just didn't know how to explain it.

“Of course you haven’t,” smirked Trixie. “Because what are you gonna tell him? He’s not allowed to date anyone and has to stay celibate or something for your theoretical relationship? Makes you sound like a possessive psycho.”

Starlight leaned into her face and glared. “Don’t… call me that,” she growled ominously.

Trixie took a step back. “I-I didn’t call you that. All I'm saying is that it's not just me. It's Sunburst too.”

“Well, if this is really something you’re willing to jeopardize our friendship over-”

Trixie's jaw dropped open. “What? The ball’s not in my court! It’s in yours! I'm not trying to upset you, really; I'm just trying to be happy. Why can't you just be happy that your friends are happy? You need to just let this go.”

Starlight stamped her hoof. "You're not listening to me," she hissed through clenched teeth.

Trixie rolled her eyes. "You don't have an argument. I'm not just going to cancel a relationship because you command me to."

"You don’t get it!” she spat. “You're putting a dagger in my heart!”

"Ugh. I can't talk to you when you're like this," groaned Trixie, climbing to her door. "Go cool down." She disappeared inside and shut the door with a huff.

Starlight stood alone in the snow, face flush, shaking with rage. "Of course I haven't talked to him about it," she muttered angrily. "I haven't had one second alone with him."

Hurt her, she thought.

What?

Go in there and choke her until she understands to back off.

I'm not going to do that! She's my friend… I think. And I don't do things like that anymore.

Then just teleport her and her stupid wagon to an abandoned wasteland where no one will ever find her.

Horrified, Starlight quickly turned around and left before any more intrusive thoughts could bubble up in her brain.

She went home, confused and distraught and rattled by the unexpected urge accompanied by a vivid fantasy of attacking Trixie.

Everypony has thoughts about violently assaulting someone, she assured herself, laying in bed, staring at the ceiling. But you aren't your thoughts. It's your actions that define you. You have the power to veto every idea that pops into your head and that's what I did and that was a good decision. I make good decisions because I'm a good pony now. No, she corrected herself. I'm a good pony now because I make good decisions. This seemed like an important distinction to make because being a good pony was a journey, not a destination. She couldn't lose sight of that and slip into complacency.

I'll be off from work soon and then there will be plenty of time to turn things around. Trixie will relent that she’s trespassing and we’ll just iron all this out.

But inside her was a pervasive sinking feeling.