After putting the last cart of harvested apples into the barn, Applejack wiped the sweat from her brow and took her hat off, hoping to get some air to her sweaty mane. As she used her stetson hat as a hoof fan, she realized that her last chore for the day was finished sooner than expected. This gave the mare a well-earned sense of self-satisfaction.

"Heheheh, I didn't think it'd be that easy!"

Closing the barn door and putting her hat back on, Applejack turned around to see Rainbow Dash.

"Well, howdy there, Dash! I didn't expect to see you today."

Rainbow Dash simply hooved her a letter and said,

"I wasn't expecting to come here, but Derpy needed some help with the mail. No weather plans were scheduled today, so it wasn't a big deal to help her out."

Applejack took the letter and noticed it said her name on the cover. There was nothing else indicating who it came from.

"Umm....who is this from again?"

Rainbow Dash smiled and held a letter of her own up.

"Derpy said it's from Anon; he made one for several ponies. Spike dropped them off at the post office for him. I know Twilight got one for sure. I dropped off Fluttershy's letter directly to her. Not sure what they're about; it's kind of big for a letter. Rumor is, Anon made a story for each of us!"

Raising an eyebrow, Applejack looked back at her friend and asked,

"Do you know why he made one? Kind of out of the ordinary for him. I never knew he was one for writing books n' all."

Rolling her eyes, Rainbow Dash replied,

"He's been here for two years, Applejack; you should know he likes reading and all that stuff. Remember when he mentioned he liked reading and writing, and Twilight gave him all those books for his housewarming party?"

Applejack did remember Anonymous' House Warming Party. Pinkie Pie managed to outdo herself in what was intended to be a small party into a full-blown rowdy house party. Twilight Sparkle gave Anon a big bookcase and an extensive collection of books. While it wasn't unknown for her to give books as a gift, any mare could see the cute bookworm princess had more than a superficial interest in the man. It was a full-blown crush, but the poor feller didn't notice it. Much to Applejack's amusement, he was no different than Big Macintosh when it came to a mare's hints.

Smiling, Applejack replied,

"Yeah, I remember that. It was kinda funny, if not a bit hopeless for Twi."

"Yeah.....kinda cringy how hard she tried. She should have just mare'd up and told Anonymous. It's not my fault she won't take my advice. It's what I would've done."

Applejack smirked and said,

"Says the mare who couldn't be bothered to ask Soarin out at the Gala."

The Rainbow pegasus' pupils shrunk as she tried to deny her friend's claim.

"What!? I uh...I...whatever, I don't have to answer that. Anyway, I'm going to go home and read this. Knowing how cool I am, Anon wrote the best one for me. See you later, AJ!"

Rainbow Dash sped off to her home, leaving a small rainbow haze trail. Applejack chuckled at her friend's poor attempt to hide her feelings before looking at the letter again.

"Well, let's go see what you wrote me, Anon. I need a glass of water anyway."

Applejack walked into her home and settled down in the living room. With an ice-cold glass on the table across from her, the country mare opened the letter, and true to Rainbow Dash's rumor, it did appear to be a story. Taking a nice sip of the cold water, Applejack began to read.

"Well, shucks, been a long time since I've read a story! This will be a nice way to end the work day."

There was a farm in Hicksville, but it was not like any farm. No siree, you see, this farm was super special. It had a special pony who ran it known as Applejack. She was known for apples and apples and nothing else exciting. She was also a mouth breather with lousy buck teeth. But apples are a fruit, which she thought was good, while others thought there were better fruits such as pears. The sun rose slowly over the horizon, and the ray beams hit the trees, shining on the skins of the apples.

Applejack sat there and watched the sunbeams, eager to see nature do its thing.

"Wow! Gawlee! Apples sure are nice! So is that there sun!"

The pony decided to watch the sun in its glory but forgot the sun burns the eyeballs.

"Ouch! I'm so forgetful! AW shucks! Hey, I can see funny spots! They movin' around!"

The tiny burnt splotches in her eyes moved around before eventually disappearing. Shaking her head, the pony put on her raggedy but also excessively tall stetson hat, and got to greet her trees. Walking to the first tree, she greeted,

"Hello, there Bloomington! Hello there Springshine! Hello there tree #186!".

Since greeting every single tree in the orchard wasn't possible, Applejack waved to all the trees and said,

"Howdy doodles, y'all trees! I haven't named all of y'all yet cause there's too many, and I can't come up with clever tree names!"

No tree replied as they swayed from the wind, and a few apples moved from the movement of the branches. They were trees, after all. But this didn't make a difference to the special apple fruit pony. They were real to her, dammit!

"Aw, shucks! Y'all mighty nice to reply so nicely since I kick the ever-living Tartarus out of y'all every day!"

Again, the trees did nothing but sway to the wind. A single apple fell to the ground, and the farm pony walked over and gobbled up the fruit. And by the fruit, she ate the whole fruit with the core and seeds consumed.

"Mmm! Breakfast was served! Y'all love me n' all! Eeyup!"

Applejack knew she was destined to be a hickey hick farmer since she was little. She told that "Teachnin' lady" she only needed to know a few numbers, the total number of hooves a pony had, which was 4, by the way. She dropped out of school and racked the debt-backed currency by selling apples. Sure it was hard work, and sometimes the apple crops sucked, but ponies bought them anyway. It was great having a monopoly in town, and business was booming. It also helped she and her family lynched and chased the only competition out of the town.

After collecting the apples, with some bad ones here and there, she half-assed kicked them in the barn and decided to sort them later. Quality control was a suggestion anyway. Today was the day for the special occasion, and the rest of the work could wait.

"It's time for the hootenanny!"

Suddenly, all ponies arrived in their covered wagons, hollering yells and hoots. A party was underway in the barn, and plenty of cornball music was had. Everypony had terrible teeth and ate overcooked fruit dishes because their recipes never evolved beyond apple-based recipes.

"Yeehaw! This is the bestest hootenanny I've ever had! Take that teachin' lady!"

Grabbing a young stallion nearby, likely to be her cousin of some sort, she pulled him in for a kiss. Tongues were lashed, bad breath was exchanged and inhaled, and her buck teeth got a good licking too. Ponies cheered at picking her future hubby, who also had buck teeth and a goofy stetson hat. Everypony hollered and cheered while engaging in hick-like activities. Nothing much could be said for the life and activities of a farmer. There was nothing more than apples and apples and apples, and Applejack was the epitome of a backwoods hick.

The End.

Applejack's jaw dropped at what she read. Everything about it was a clear insult to her and her lively hood. It contained every stereotype about farmers and country ponies one could imagine. Applejack's face was red in anger, and the country pony had only one thing left to do for the day.

"Anonymous! I'm going to hogtie you and throw you into the pig pen! I'll show you what a real country mare can do!"

Grabbing her rope and stetson, the country mare headed to Ponyville on a mission to get the man who insulted her.

Author's Note

Uh oh! The country gal is upset! Watch out Anonymous! You're about to get some country justice!