Beavis and Butt-Head Do Equestria

Beavis and Butt-Head Do Equestria

By NocturneD

"So... where's the butt hole on this thing?" Beavis asked while looking at a particular bird perched on a branch.

"Uh huh huh. Knowing this place it probably doesn't have one." Butt-head chuckled.

Fluttershy walked up to them carrying a giant bag of bird sees. She spit it out onto their feet and smiled, "I want to thank you two for taking care of my animals for the day." She bowed her head graciously and smiled, "Canterlot has the finest food for some of my animals and some of them are picky eaters. They want the finest food."

"Well that's a bitch. Uh huh huh." Butt-head chuckled.

Fluttershy maintained her positive mood, "I left a list of instructions of what food goes to what animal. Especially my bunny Angel. He really likes carrots but can be stubborn at times."

The two teens looked at the white rabbit who was sitting on a lawn chair reading a book and enjoying sipping on an ice tea with a straw.

"Any questions?" Fluttershy asked.

"Uh yeah. Where's the butt hole on these things?" Butt-head asked.

Fluttershy stared at the two confused, "Um... butt hole?" She scratched her head, "Well if they have to poop don't be afraid to use the pooper scooper and throw it away in this special garbage can. Apple Jack usually takes it to fertilize her crops. There's another one next to it just for trash. That one needs to be taken to the curb after you're done tonight so the garbage pony can pick it up tomorrow. Also, some animals should not be next to each other like cats and birds, dogs and cats, fish with my hawks."

Beavis raised his hand.

"Um... this isn't school so what's your question?" Fluttershy asked.

"Why doesn't Apple Jack just fertilize her crops herself? Eh heh heh." Beavis asked.

Fluttershy stood there in question, "What do you mean?"

"I thought horses usually just take a dump anywhere they want." Beavis chuckled.

Fluttershy blushed, "Oh no no. We got bathrooms usually everywhere. That's why everything is so clean."

Beavis frowned, "Well I guess that's okay."

Fluttershy turned to Angel, "Now Angel. You be good for our guests okay?" Angel ignored her.

Fluttershy finally left before giving her animals a fine farewell assuring she'll be back the next day. Beavis and Butt-head just stood there for about five minutes.

"What are we supposed to do again?" Beavis asked.

"Uh... I think it was..." Butt-head tried to think. "Uh... Hmm... I dunno."

"This sucks... let's go fool around with the animals." Beavis wandered over to the birds that were perched on a nearby branch. A whole row of them singing a nice tune. Beavis stood there and chuckled. They sang wonderfully, "Hey... sing some Ozzy. Heh heh heh."

Angel looked up from his book and shook his head then went back to reading.

"Hey Beavis! Check this out!" Butt-head called from beside the chicken coop.

Beavis walked over to the chicken coop and asked, "What? Eh heh heh."

"Uh huh huh. Look." Butt-head pointed.

In front of the chicken coop was a chicken getting humped by a rooster. The two didn't need an explanation, they were watching a mating habit and laughing their asses off.

"Yeah that rooster is getting snuffed." Butt-head chuckled.

"Eh heh heh. I can watch this all day." Beavis said.

3 hours later...

The mating was long over but the teens still laughed.

"Eh heh heh. Yeah!" Beavis chuckled.

A light bulb lit on top of Butt-head's head, "Hey Beavis. I think I remember what we were supposed to do."

"Eh heh. What?" Beavis asked.

"We probably supposed to make all the animals mate with each other." Butt-head chuckled.

"Really?" Beavis scratched his head, "I thought we were supposed to kill the animals and use their bodies as hamburger meat?"

Angel peeked his head out from the book.

"What are you talking about?" Butt-head chuckled.

"Damn it Butt-head I'm hungry." Beavis said walking over to the bird seeds then scooped up some with his hand. "Think I'll have some of these sunflower seeds." He shoved them into his mouth. He chewed, the paused. His face turned to disgust and spit out the seeds. "GAH! This tastes like crap!"

"Uh huh huh. You dumb ass." Butt-head chuckled, "That's like for the birds I think."

Angel went back to reading his book again.

"Wait. I think we're supposed to feed the animals." Butt-head recalled.

"All of them?" Beavis asked.

"I guess." Butt-head answered. "Just carry the bag of seeds over to the birds and I think that will cover it."

Beavis did what he was told and carried the sack of bird seeds over to the area with the birds. Unfortunately, he tripped over his own untied shoe lace and fell face forward with the seed bag exploding all over him. The birds looked hungrily at him and dove down onto him. Pecking at him. Beavis screamed and tried to swat the birds away. "GAH! BUTT-HEAD HELP!" he screamed. Butt-head just stood there and laughed. Angel sighed and put his book down, hoped out of the lawn chair and grabbed a broom. He hoped over to Beavis and started swatting at the birds. "Ah swat faster you butt munch!" Angel looked at him with cold black eyes and started hitting Beavis instead.

"Uh huh rabbit is cool." Butt-head chuckled.

Angel wasn't really in the mood. He knew two idiots when he saw them. The birds finally flew away from Beavis and he laid there with red scratches all over his exposed skin. Butt-head pretty much took whatever food was left and threw it at the animals and figured whatever the hell they ate they can take whatever they want.

"Done. Uh huh huh." Butt-head looked at the huge mess the animals made. Apparently listening to directions wasn't Beavis and Butt-head's strong suit. Animals were scattered all over the place running loose and wild. The dogs started to attack the cats, the cats started eating the birds and fish, the birds either flying away or pooping all over the place in fright. It was chaos. Suddenly some of the animals ran out into the street only to get plowed over by an oncoming moving truck. The driver tried to stop but then ended up plowing into the fence protecting Fluttershy's animals. It kept going, the driver tried to brake but couldn't in time as he crashed into the cottage of the flying pony then bursted into flames. The animals were even more freaked out than before. Some of them caught on fire and scurried off into the Everfree forest only to catch some unfortunate trees on fire. Beavis recovered at that time to see the trees and cottage set a blaze.

"Ohhhh..." Beavis widened his eyes and formed a devilish smile, "Fire. Eh heh heh."

"Uh... Hmmm..." Butt-head pondered at the flaming wreckage.

Angel looked up at the two teens then back at the destroyed cottage, he had to admit though. It was cool.

Unfortunately for their luck. Fluttershy returned, "Excuse me but I forgot my..." Her eyes snapped at the wrecked cottage and most of her animals were dead, guts splattered everywhere as she could tell from the treads on the truck smearing blood everywhere. Her mouth wide open in shock. Apple Jack arrived a minute later to find her friend in complete shock. She looked at the destroyed cottage and didn't even have to think twice.

"WHAT IN TARNATION HAPPENED HERE?" Apple Jack shouted.

"Uh... it was the truck's fault." Butt-head chuckled.

"HOW LONG AGO DID THIS HAPPEN?" Apple Jack asked.

"Eh heh heh. Just a minute ago." Beavis chuckled.

"YOU TWO WAIT HERE WHILE I CALL FOR HELP!" Apple Jack ran off.

"Uh... okay." Butt-head replied.

Apple Jack raced off to get help. Within the twenty minutes fire ponies arrived to take care of the fire. Many onlookers watched. Beavis and Butt-head just stood there as usual.

"So did you two know how this happened?" The fire marshal pony asked.

"Uh... yeah, Fluttershit asked us to feed her animals for money but then a truck came out of nowhere and crashed into her house." Butt-head chuckled.

"Yup... I think that driver was drunk or something." Beavis added.

"Well that makes sense..." The fire marshal pony took into account. He looked down at Angel, Fluttershy's sole surviving animal. "Is that what happened?"

Angel looked at Beavis and Butt-head. He didn't like them that much, but then again he didn't like the other animals either. He nodded his head and vouched for them. Fluttershy on the other hand was still in shock. Her friends wasted no time trying to comfort her. The crowd died down, Rarity insisted on Fluttershy and Angel stay with her. She did represent generosity after all. Taking whatever that wasn't burned or broken with her. They left Beavis and Butt-head still standing there.

"Hey Beavis..." Butt-head noticed.

"Yeah?" Beavis asked.

"There's like tons of animal meat all over the place." Butt-head observed, "Those dumb ass ponies didn't even clean up the mess. So you know what burgers are made out of right?"

"What?" Beavis picked his nose.

"Meat dumb ass." Butt-head walked towards a pile of splattered meat.

"Oh yeah. Eh heh heh." Beavis looked around, "So how do we get this meat back?"

"We need like... something to carry them in." Butt-head saw the two trash cans Fluttershy pointed out earlier.

Not too much later. Beavis and Butt-head carried the trash cans back to the Sugar Cube corner and started to make burgers. They spent the rest of the day pounding and tenderizing the remains until they became burgers. Or something resembled burgers. The bread was easy to get, Sugar Cube Corner practically makes breaded treats. Ketchup and mustard, again easy because there was going to be some at every table that was set up.

The fashion show was pretty much Ponyville's main concern as they focused on making a huge stage to Rarity's liking to show off her latest designs. Pinkie was going to be in the show along with some other ponies so she had barely anytime to monitor Beavis and Butt-head. Fluttershy pretty much wanted to sit it out because of the food she had to go to Canterlot to get, guess she won't be going anytime soon, now traumatized.

The two teens dressed in their best clothing that Rarity made for them and carried trays and trays of burgers and set them on the entree table for the guests. Beavis spoke up, "You know... it feels good to help."

"Yeah... getting paid rules." Butt-head chuckled.

"Hey guys. How's it going?" Rainbow Dash trotted up to the table dressed in another outfit Rarity made.

"Uh... pretty good." Butt-head replied.

"You guys aren't bothered by Fluttershy's cottage exploding are you?" Dash asked.

"No..." Beavis chuckled.

Dash raised an eyebrow, "You guys really know how to keep it cool." She looked at the burgers, "What are these things?"

"Uh... hamburgers." Butt-head chuckled. "Pretty much we make these all the time at Burger World."

"Huh?" Dash kept looking at the burgers, "They do smell nice though." She frowned sadly, "But Rarity would kill me if I got anything on my dress."

"Oh come on." Beavis said quickly, "What Rarity doesn't know won't kill her."

Dash smirked, "You're right." She took a burger with her hoof and slowly bit into it. Munch, munch, and munch, "Not bad actually... I swear it tastes like either chicken or steak... i can't tell." She looked up, "Is it supposed to be crunchy?"

"Uh... yeah... I guess. Uh huh." Butt-head chuckled.

"Well with those nachos you brought here. I won't doubt you." Dash took another bite.

Dash somehow caught the attention of some of the other ponies. Soon they formed a crowd around the entree table. Even the famous pony Hoity Toity walked up to the table and observed the strange food. Soon Fancy pants joined in. He looked at one of the burgers with an inspecting eye and tasted it. He smiled. That was enough for the ponies to start grabbing them. Even Rarity had sneaked off stage to see what the commotion was about. Each pony atleast had one burger on their plate and went to sit down at their tables as the fashion show was about to start.

Spike came on to the stage and announced the start of the fashion show. Lights flared and the music started. Many ponies came out onto the stage and gave a good walk down the cat walk. Rarity herself was part of it along with being good friends with Fleur De Lis, she was also part of the show. The turn out was great, seats full. VIPS ofcourse were in the front. Rarity walked out first, gave a simple pose for the cameras to take pictures. She smiled, but it wasn't a fashion smile. Looked more like, work through the pain smile. Fleur had her turn after Rarity, she turned more heads than Rarity did. Again she gave a weak smile. Next was Rainbow Dash. Only she couldn't walk straight. For some reason, she was wobbly and her face was green.

"I do say. Wonder what's wrong with her?" Fancy Pants wondered.

"I don't know but already she's going to cost Rarity points." Hoity Toity adjusted his glasses the felt the lower part of his stomach rumble. "Those orderves earlier certainly did a number on my digestive track." His stomach rumbled louder.

Rainbow Dash stopped at the end of the cat walk hovering over Photo Finish and Sapphire Shores. Rarity was calling to her to come back to the exit but suddenly felt sick herself. Rainbow Dash moaned then lowered her head. She wanted to lie down but sickness quickly caught up to her.

"Hello diz stage is dat way." Photo Finish pointed trying to help the sick pony.

But it was too late. Rainbow Dash puked all over Photo Finish. The photographing pony stood their. Stunned. Then felt sick herself in returned barfed. The sight was too atrocious. Soon Hoity Toity puked as well. Then Fancy Pants tried to turn his head and vomited too. Pony after pony barfed all over the tables and floor.

Rarity was crying that her show started to flop. Tears stained her face then she lowered her head quickly to vomit as well. Almost every pony barfed from either being sick or just looking in disgust.

Beavis and Butt-head stood there.

"Hey Beavis." Butt-head chuckled.

"Yeah?" Beavis asked.

"You did remember to clean out the trash can before you put the meat in it right?" Butt-head asked.

"Did you?" Beavis asked.

"Uh... I don't remember." Butt-head chuckled.

Twilight was practically crawling on her knees, her stomach hurt and her face was a mess. Her dress was covered in puke. She crawled towards Derpy who turned out to be just fine. "Derpy... how come you're not sick?"

"I gave my food to Rarity's cat." Derpy smiled.

Opal then puked all over herself while Rarity cried about her reputation and barfed at the same time.

Unknown to the others, a serpent like figure sits in the darkness watching. He chuckled while sipping his drink with his eagle claw, "Now this... this is chaos."