Beavis and Butt-Head Do Equestria

Beavis and Butt-Head Do Equestria

By NocturneD

There was no doubt about it. Twilight Sparkle, star student is in trouble for failure of teaching friendship to two menacing teens. Plus a letter with a picture of claiming princess Celestia had a big ass and smelled like a dead body with her name signed at the bottom. Celestia wasn't happy. It's like going up to a lion and kicking it in the face and expecting nothing to happen.

"Well my student?" Celestia waited. You could cut the tension in the room like a knife. Twilight couldn't get herself out of this one. No pony was sticking up for her this time. For all the times they did, some reason not this time. They never saw the princess this mad before and it was possible if they spoke up they might get banished. Beavis and Butt-head just stood there as usual chuckling at the whole situation.

"You know what Butt-head?" Beavis turned his head, "This would be a lot more interesting if they were naked."

Butt-head frowned, "Beavis you dumb ass. They're already naked."

"Yeah I know." Beavis with widen eyes as he grinned, "But naked chicks."

The brunette chuckled as usual, "You should totally wish for that. Uh huh huh."

Beavis frowned, "Knowing this stupid thing it will probably turn them all into chickens. Eh heh heh."

Twilight was on the verge of tears, her lip was trembling. Both her choices put her in a lose-lose situation. She tried to ease her way out of the question but it was no use. The princess was beaming down on her with her gaze filled with disappointment and anger that could only be felt by mentor or even a parent.

"Well?" The princess asked again, still with her commanding tone.

"What would happen if I choose either one?" Twilight trembled in between tears rolling off her face then hiccuping.

"Simple. If you stop being my student of your own choice then you can go wherever you want and do whatever you want no friendship reports to make. You'll just not have my support and sponsorship." Celestia said sternly. "The other option, you'll go through retraining through each grade to understand the key aspects of magic and learn that magic is serious..."

"Uh... hey!" Butt-head called out.

Celestia turned her head. Not in the mood she set her sight on the brunette, "I hope this is important Mr. Butt-head."

"Uh... like why does she have to go through all of that crap again?" Butt-head chuckled.

"Yeah isn't she already good at magic?" Beavis picked his nose.

"Indeed she is. One of my most prized students at best." Celestia nodded.

"Then uh... what does learning magic again have to do with her... Uh..." Butt-head lost his train of thought.

"I think you're trying to ask is. What does magic have to do with her problem now?" Celestia raised an eyebrow. "Well I'll put it this way. She had a job to do of teaching you two the joys and importants of friendship."

"So?" Beavis chuckled.

"But I'm feeling that you two aren't grasping the concept. Property damage has gone up ever since you two got here. Here in Equestria, harmony is kept respectfully and in check." Celestia explained.

"Not doing a very good job of it then." Beavis chuckled.

The ponies gasped.

Twilight managed to speak up, "Princess Celestia they don't mean it!"

"Uh yeah we do." Butt-head chuckled. "You suck."

"And what do I may ask am I doing so unfitting about?" Celestia asked. Her tone changed, the ponies knew she was challenging them but still kept a peaceful composure.

"Well. It's like this. The ponies go around doing things like a bunch of fart knockers and everything they do has to do with writing a stupid ass report to you." Beavis replied quickly. "And your big white ass is sitting up there in the castle probably picking your butt wondering when you're going to get the next friendship letter."

The ponies again gasped, then started shaking.

"Yeah. Why does Twinkle Spanker here have to go around being your butt monkey?" Butt-head chuckled.

"Yeah yeah. Like what could she possibly write about every time she goes somewhere?" Beavis threw in.

"We had this talk before. She and her friends don't have to write me a letter all the time. Only when something of value is found." Celestia frowned.

"Yeah yeah. Like if she decided to spank her monkey one day?" Beavis asked. Then he chuckled, "Because I do that all the time."

"Spanking poor helpless monkeys really isn't worth making a friendship report about." Celestia responded still maintaining her mood. Beavis and Butt-head only laughed harder.

"Uh yeah like you shouldn't impose your will of friendship on... everyone or something." Butt-head chuckled.

"Yeah! That's like tyranny or something." Beavis scratched his ass.

As stupid as it sounded to Celestia, they had a point. She rubbed her chin as she turned around too look at her faithful student still a complete mess. "Twilight?"

Her student looked up. "Yes princess Celestia?"

"How about a third choice?" Celestia smiled.

Twilight almost choked up.

"Apparently you've been working to the bone. Worrying about my approval and my faith in you by constantly studying." Celestia said with sincerity in her voice.

"I'm not studying all the time!" Twilight cried, "I go out with friends just like you wanted!"

"Like I wanted?" Celestia asked, "Twilight the trip was to make friends on your own and you did. But I have to admit you made friends of all shapes and sizes. It's just." She looked back at the two menacing teens. "These two haven't gained your friendship because you haven't taken the time to understand them. Understand how they work and do. What they're behavior is like. Why do they do the stuff they do. Remember love and tolerance?"

"I do." Twilight nodded.

"Doesn't seem like you tried to gain their friendship. I think Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash beat you to it." Celestia smiled. Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash gave each other a high five. "But regardless. I was a bit unfair pushing your work onto your friends as well. The point of the letters were to see if you learned anything and were having fun. If you weren't you could always tell me and I can bring back to Canterlot anytime you wanted to continue your studies. It's just the last letter you sent me was..."

Twilight beamed at Beavis and Butt-head after looking at the letter.

"I figured you must of wrote this out of anger saying you want out of here to get my attention. That you were tired of being my student and wanted to leave." Celestia said sadly, "In a way. It made me think you were ready to take on the world without learning everything that my school had to teach you. I had students before quit on me thinking they learned enough to take on the whole world."

"Why would they do that?" Twilight asked.

"I wasn't always the best teacher you know." Celestia frowned.

"But you are!" Twilight argued.

"No Twilight. There are others. Countless others over the years that were better teachers and never gave up on their students. And their students never wanted to quit. I had a few..." Celestia frowned. "It didn't end well."

"Yeah. That sounds like Mr. Van Driessan." Beavis chuckled, "He never quit on us."

"You said ON US" Butt-head chuckled, "Can you imagine him as ruler?"

"Oh god it would be like being at school forever." Beavis frowned.

"Sounds like a fun teacher." Twilight smiled.

"Hey Beavis. Remember when Mr. Van Driessan flew out the bus window and fell down a mountain?" Butt-head chuckled.

"Oh yeah! That was cool." Beavis chuckled. "What about the time he broke his neck falling off the desk?"

"Or the time the chalk board collapsed on him?" Butt-head chuckled faster.

"Eh heh heh. Yeah. Those were good times." Beavis chuckled.

Cheerilee made a note to herself to fasten the chalkboard in her classroom tighter tomorrow.

"Well Twilight. Are you ready for the third option?" Celestia asked.

"I hope it's better than the first two." Twilight thought nervously, then nodded her head.

"The Gala isn't too far away. So if you can get Beavis and Butt-head to learn one thing about friendship in time then I'll forget about your punishment about making you go through retraining. But one thing, you have to learn from them too. Learn how they function. Embrace their culture. No friendship report needed unless the same as before." Celestia smiled. "They are indeed special. I'm sure you'll learn that."

"Hey Beavis? Are you getting that special feeling?" Butt-head chuckled.

"Eh heh heh. I'm getting a special feeling in my pants." Beavis chuckled quickly. He raised his arms slightly and shook them violently as his eyes widened, "BOOOOIIINNNNGGG!" But little did he know it was the horn talking.

The ponies also joined in chuckling except Twilight and Celestia.

"I'll accept the third choice princess Celestia." Twilight said proudly. "I'll know these two inside and out. I'll do the things they do to understand and if anything happens friendship report worthy I'll make sure you'll find out."

"Very well my student." Celestia smiled, "You brought my faith back and I'm sure you'll pull it off. And I apologize for being rash earlier." The two hugged.

"Awww..." The ponies awed.

"Awww.." Beavis awed mockingly.

"Uhhhhhh..." Butt-head was disgusted.

"And so I'll be off." Celestia smiled at the two, "Beavis and Butt-head. I have to say, though your lack of linguistics were deplorable but you stood up to raise your point. And at first I thought you two were... how should I say it? Not smart?"

"Yeah we get that all the time." Beavis chuckled.

"Uh huh huh. People call us stupid all the time." Butt-head chuckled.

"But I think you're going down an interesting path. But there will be a fork in the road." Celestia nodded then left the library. Butt-head slammed the door on her ass. She gasped then frowned, "Just glad Discord isn't enjoying this." She approached her chariot and signaled her guards to fly back to the castle.

Somewhere out there. Discord did know.

"Don't let the door hit your ass on the way out now." Discord chuckled.

And as usual he was watching on his television not very pleased with the result. He threw his arms up in the air, "Oh come on! The element of magic isn't out of the picture?" He slumped further into his couch with his lip curled in disappointment, "Alright I admit it. Seeing what those two bumbling bafoons can teach Twilight might be interesting." He picked up his remote and pressed a few buttons.

"So repeat after me. Or something." Butt-head chuckled. "Uh huh huh huh."

Twilight preped herself, cleared her throat to let out a, "Uh... har har... I'm sorry let me try this again."

The horn started to vibrate in Beavis's pocket. Beavis noticed this, it was more of a pink color this time. Inside, Beavis didn't know that Genie was crying. She wanted to run up and nuzzle her dear sister Celestia who she missed for so long but she was merely just an object now. Being carried by a careless boy who only wanted selfish things but really only wanted to make himself feel pleasure, "Hey Butt-head! This thing is starting to act funny again."

Discord sat there on his couch and sighed. "I want to see the alternate ending to this part." He pushed the menu button and selected alternate scene.

Celestia and Twilight Sparkle were outside the library. Out back actually. Celestia was on top of Twilight Sparkle screaming and beating her with a rubber hose until her arm got tired. Twilight laid there battered and bruised. Celestia spit on her for the final touch. "You're no longer my student." Twilight only covered her face with her hooves to shield her face.

Beavis and Butt-head stood there watching through the window of the library. Spike watched in horror.

"Twinkle just got hosed." Butt-head chuckled. Beavis only laughed harder.

Discord raised an eyebrow, "Damn that was brutal... Not sure which ending I liked better."