Beavis and Butt-Head Do Equestria

Beavis and Butt-Head in Equestria: Friendship Sucks

By NocturneD

ooo

"That's one mighty fine hole you boy put in my barn." Big Mac chewed on a piece of straw, still in a quizzical state.

"WHAT IN TARNATION DID YOU TWO DO?" Apple Jack hollered, ready to buck the hell out of the two.

"Now Apple Jack they're new here so maybe they didn't know it was..." Pinkie Pie tried to give tolerance a chance.

"HORSE APPLES! LOOK AT THAT BIG STINKIN HOLE IN MY BARN!" Apple Jack roared so loud it scared the birds away as they flew away from the trees. "LOOK AT IT! THE TREE POKING INTO THE BARN!"

The two teens started to laugh at the sexual innuendo.

"I DON'T THINK IT'S GOING TO COME OUT THAT EASILY!" Apple Jack paced back and forth wanting to free her stress.

The two laughed harder.

Apple Jack pointed again, "LOOK THE TREE IS TOO DARN BIG AND WIDE AND ITS RAMMED INTO MY BARN!"

Beavis and Butt-head laughed even harder, this time joined by Rainbow Dash at Apple Jack's frustration. Big Mac started to inspect the damage, he looked at the tree, then at the hole in the barn, then back at the tree. He tapped on the tree with his hoof, "Yup... it's stuck."

"Hey Butt-head... what if the tree like... landed in the back of the barn door." Beavis chuckled.

"Uh huh huh. I don't think Apple Jack is going to want anything in her back door." Butt-head chuckled.

"Sure seems like she got a big tree up her butt though." Beavis added.

"Probably Big Mac's tree." Butt-head chuckled.

Beavis frowned, "I don't get it."

Pinkie Pie walked up to the two with a sad look, "Why don't you two try apologizing to Apple Jack? Atleast she'll know you tried to make amends. Maybe you two didn't know what you were doing?"

"Uh... okay." Butt-head dropped the chain-saw.

"Sorry about that." Beavis said quickly.

Apple Jack wasn't buying it, "Oh no, I think you two knew what exactly you were doing!"

"Now hold on sis." Big Mac spoke up, "I'm just as mad as you are but that's not how we treat guests."

"But Big Mac!" Apple Jack tried to argue.

"Sis... I'll work something out with these two. Why don't you just go inside and calm down?" Big Mac explained, "Don't worry I'll give these two a scolding if they need one. Now getty up." Apple Jack fumed and walked back into the house and slammed the door behind them.

"Apple Jack Ass." Beavis muttered.

Pinkie and Rainbow gasped, he just said that in front of her brother.

Pinkie Pie got on her hoofs and knees begging, "I'M SORRY BIG MAC THEY'RE NEW IN TOWN AND DON'T MEAN THE STUFF THEY DO!"

Big Mac stared at the blonde then suddenly he let out a chuckle himself.

"Huh?" Dash's eyes widened.

"Oh my." Big Mac eased himself, "You two aren't made for apple bucking I take it."

Beavis was rubbing his aching legs.

"Guess your legs aren't strong like ours." Big Mac nodded, "Can you four keep a secret?"

Pinkie pretended to zip her lip.

"Alright." Big Mac explained, "That siding you boys managed to destroy was made out of shoddy material anyway."

"Uh huh huh. You half assed it didn't you?" Butt-head asked.

"Yup." Bic Mac replied, "Cheap materials gone bad over the winter I take it. They said it should of stood up to a hurricane. You boys sure proved them wrong."

"Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh..." Beavis and Butt-head spaced out for a moment.

"HERE I AM! ROCK YOU LIKE A HURRICANE!" Beavis chanted giving an obvious song reference.

"Well I'm not going to thank you two for helping me find out that the wood I used was bad." Big Mac tried to say but the two teens started to laugh again, "But you two still put a big hole in the barn and I'll be expecting help from you two as in a way of paying the Apple family back. Or if you want to just skip out... don't bother coming to Sweet Apple Acres." He gave a stern look.

"Uh..." Butt-head frowned.

"I'll help too!" Dash raised her hoof.

"Me three!" Pinkie pounced.

"See." Big Mac smiled, "The more ponies join the faster this will get done."

"Eh... I guess." Beavis picked his nose.

"But don't worry, it will probably be a few days before I can scrounge up some better supplies." Big Mac ordered.

"I just got a question... eh heh heh. If you're called Big Mac. Does anyone call you Big Sack?" Beavis asked.

Big Mac had to think for a moment. Then shook his head from side to side, "Just to let you two know, it takes a lot to get me mad but since you made me laugh I'll let you two off. So just be ready to work when I give the word." He brushed his chest with his hoof, "Who knows, if you two do a good job you could probably can earn some extra bits around here."

"Wow! Mr. Beavis! Mr. Butt-head! That's two jobs looking out for you!" Pinkie Pie bounced happily. "Oh thank you Big Mac for understanding for Mr. Beavis and Mr. Butt-head destroying pretty much half of your barn." She gave him a peek on the cheek.

Big Mac blushed and rubbed his cheek, "Well... Miss Pie if they're a friend of yours then they're a friend of mine." He frowned, "Just to let you know my trust in your new friends is going to be tough if they don't help out." He put a hoof to his chin, "My sister on the other hand is going to take awhile getting over that barn."

"So uh... since your a redneck. Are you having sex with your family?" Beavis asked.

Big Mac turned on a sour look, "I'll send for you two and the others once we're ready to start."

Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash pulled on Beavis and Butt-head and left Sweet Apple Acres before Big Mac finally snapped and went postal on the two. Big Mac then smirked and walked towards the house, opened the front door and called up the stairs, "Apple Jack! Put on something lacy!"

ooo

"Boy sure glad Big Mac and Apple Jack didn't decide to kill you." Pinkie Pie heaved.

"You two really don't know when to shut up do you?" Dash added.

"Not really... Uh huh huh." Butt-head replied.

The four journeyed back into Ponyville to continue the tour this time stopped at the school house in time for recess. All the little fillies and colts came racing out the school doors and flooded the playground. The cutie mark crusaders were sitting together on a bench to figure out how they could get their cutie mark.

"So maybe we could do some more explorin after school?" Apple Bloom tapped her own cheek.

"I just want to play hop scotch if you two don't mind." Sweetie Belle excused herself.

The white unicorn filly trotted over to the hop scotch mark on the pavement, found a rock and started playing by herself. She was having so much fun and played a few more rounds, she was about to throw the rock again until. "Hey blank flank." Sneered the spoiled pony Diamond Tierra, next to her was her equally as snotty friend Silver Spoon. With that Sweetie Belle threw the rock too far in surprise and it feel down a long narrow pipe over the fence. "Ooops." Diamond Tierra covered her mouth and snickered. "Clumsy and a blank flank."

"My how it all adds up." Silver Spoon added.

Sweetie Belle narrowed her eyes in anger and went to go get the skipping rock back. Ignoring the stay out sign on the fence, she hopped over it and approached the pipe.

"Sweetie Belle we're not supposed to be outside the fence during recess!" Apple Bloom came trotting up to the fence.

"I'll be back." Sweetie Belle winked and walked over to the pipe sticking out of the ground. She looked in and could barely make anything out until she saw a glint of light must meaning the rock was indeed in there. "I found it!" She chimed and started to climb up the pipe and lean in. Using whatever magic she learned, or if any she tried to grab the rock.

Until suddenly...

"UMPFH..." Sweetie Belle moaned as he upper body was now incased in the pipe. She grunted and tried to squeeze her way out, "Uh oh..." Her backside kicked wildly. "UH... Apple Bloom?"

"Yeah Sweetie Belle?" Apple Bloom hoped the fence and leaned up towards the pipe.

"I'm stuck!" Sweetie Belle's voice echoed.

"What's going on?" Scootaloo came up to the fence.

"Blank flank is stuck." Silver Spoon smirked.

Apple Bloom and Scootaloo tugged on their friend's hind legs trying to get her loose only with no luck. Started to hurt Sweetie Belle as it only felt like the pipe was sucking her down further.

"Somepony go get Miss Cheerilee!" Apple Bloom shouted.

Meanwhile...

"Well that is very interesting Mr. Beavis... I didn't know... you could cook a dead mouse in an easy bake oven." Cheerilee cringed.

"Teacher Teacher!" Scootaloo came trotting up to her teacher, "Sweetie Belle is stuck!"

"Stuck?" Cheerilee perked her head up, motherly instinct kicked in, "Where?"

"That old pipe outside the fence!" Scootaloo pointed.

"I told you ponies not go to by that pipe time after time!" Cheerliee scolded her student.

Soon everypony including the teens were gathered around the pipe from students, to faculty, to neighbors, to ambulance, to fire fighters. Everypony was hard at work... doing nothing, just trying to make heads or tails how could Sweetie Belle be stuck.

"Hey Butt-head... remember when you got stuck in the pipe?" Beavis chuckled.

"Oh yeah. Uh huh huh." Butt-head chuckled, "That sucked."

The rescue continued... not going very well. Sweetie Belle started to cry as her echoes could be heard by everyone.

"It's no use!" Sweetie Belle sniffed, "I'm going to have to live in the pipe!"

"What kind of pipe is that anyway?" Beavis asked.

"Apparently one that leads to the sewer. Mostly this is for water from the rain to go down." One of the fire fighter ponies replied. "Just as long as it doesn't rain she'll be fine."

Suddenly a loud thunder erupted and skies went grey.

"Well we can't move her Miss Cheerilee." One of the fire fighters looked at the situation, "If we move her, her arms could break.

"Eh... this is stupid. Why don't they just grease her up or something?" Butt-head pointed out.

Suddenly a dim light above Pinkie Pie's head shorted out. She smiled, "I'M GOING TO GET SOME BUTTER!" And she did, came back with large tubs of butter and threw them to the ground. "Come on Mr. Beavis and Mr. Butt-head let's lather up Sweetie Belle's behind with butter!"

"Wait! That doesn't sound right!" Sweetie Belle echoed. Rainbow Dash joined in and got the edges and Sweetie Belle's sides lathered.

"Okay you two pull!" Dash told the teens to pull.

And the two did, again and again ignoring Sweetie Belle screaming.

Until...

POP!

Sweetie Belle was in the teens arms, her hair and coat a complete mess. This was enough for the news reporters to take pictures.

"Uh..." Butt-head sniffed something that smelled funny, "I think this pony smells funny."

"Wait... my mistake that was a sewage pipe." The fire fighter pony from earlier corrected himself.

Then three other ponies and a little dragon came walking into the school yard to see what the fuss is about.

"What's going on here?" Twilight asked.

"Pinkie Pie and those two creatures saved a little pony trapped in a pipe!" Carrot Top turned her head and explained.

"Oh my... is the little pony alright?" Fluttershy gasped.

"SWEETIE BELLE?" Rarity pushed over the crowd of ponies to get to her sister.

A news reporter with a microphone trotted up to Beavis and Butt-head, "You two, Miss Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash saved little Sweet Belle. What was going on in your thoughts as you were saving her?" A pony asked.

"Uh.. Sweaty Balls smelled funny coming out of that pipe." Butt-head chuckled.

"Yeah! Eh heh heh BALLS!" Beavis's eyes widened.

"Thank Celestia for these two and the ponies who pitched in to help. You heard it here folks, I'm News Flash... Signing off." The pony waved for the camera pony to turn off the camera. "What a stupid filly..."

"Sorry I didn't the camera off." The camera pony tried to find the off switch.

"Well this sounds like a good report to write to Princess Celestia." Twilight smiled, Spike looked at his bandaged up hand.