A Pair Of Silly Strings

Every child grows up with certain dreams and goals. Some fulfill them, some don’t. Some children would either end up successful and with their own place, or they’d end up on the streets or stuck living with their mother or father. Seeing children succeed was a beauty of its own, and seeing some fail was a completely different ball game.

You, however, wanted to be a baker. Your passion for sweets was what drove you to read all kinds of baking books and watch several bakers on TV. Your parents, on the other hand, saw it as a waste of time, saying and criticizing how you could live off just baking sweets, as you’d have to have some experience cooking so that you could actually live on your own one day. You did your best to ignore them, even flat out saying how it was your dream and nothing would change that. They would scoff at that and just wave you off. Of course, as the days turned into years, you were out on your own at 21, since it was difficult finding a place. Since your hopes of becoming a baker had been so brutally crushed by your parents, you gave up on that dream and got a job at a bar two blocks down from your apartment complex.

Your neighborhood was nice for the most part, aside from the occasional yelling from neighbors and such, but it was somewhat tolerable since you had your source of music: Your Phone. You’d listen to the music almost any chance you get, whether it be waking up, eating, taking a shower, running errands, even at work sometimes and on the way there. Even in the evenings when work at the bar got really stressful, you’d just drown them with a steaming hot sea salt bath. Sure, it felt like you were dipping into hot lava at first, but after sinking in, it felt like nirvana.

As of right now, you were just doing the night shift at the bar, serving patrons, watching them walk out sober, tipsy, or even blackout drunk. Sometimes it was funny, and other times it was messy due to some minor fights, accidents, and just queasy people, making cleanup stressful at times. Aside from that, you were serving three bikers as they all drank from their mugs in unison.

“To us!” the lead biker yelled, raising his glass

“Hell yeah!” his partners shouted, clinking their glasses in a toast.

Not wanting to be a silent bartender, you spoke up, “Something important going on, fellas?” they all turned to you one by one, then the leader spoke.

“Well, Y’see, we just saved our girls from this rival biker gang! They had em held captive and everything, it was fucken crazy! Our girls were a tad wounded, so they’re recovering, but as for us, we took down that rival biker gang and made em pay, and now we’re celebratin’!” the leader concluded, drinking down the last of his glass.

“Didn’t think biker gangs even did shit like that anymore…” you said, wiping the counter down a little.

“Believe me, you’d be surprised at the kind of shit that goes on in this town, I tell ya that” He laughed heartedly, pushing his glass forward, “Give me a refill, will ya barkeep?”

“Not a problem, sir” you said kindly, refilling his glass to the top. He took a sip as one of his partners had spilled a bit of his whiskey, and his other partner woozily smoked a cigar.

“Wooooooo, party- oops,” the lighter slipped out of his hand and so did the cigar, as it touched the spilt liquor and caught fire, setting the place ablaze. Multiple screams could be heard all around the bar as people began fleeing.

“Shit! Everyone out, now!” you shouted, seeing the many drunken patrons run with their metaphorical tails between their legs.

“You heard the man, let’s get out of here!” the biker leader said as he made his way out with his drunken partners. You were about to join them, but something stopped you: A patron was blackout drunk in the back of the bar. Not wanting to see them burn, you sprinted towards the booth as the leader shouted, “Mate, it’s not worth it! Your life’s more important than their’s!”

“Bullshit! I got them!” you said as you picked up the sleeping patron and quickly carried them towards the exit, but as you looked up, you saw the ceiling collapsing. In a last ditch effort, you dived like a football player, but not far enough, as the patron you saved was safe, but your back was covered and squashed by a fiery support beam.

The biker leader ran up and tried to lift the beam, “We’ll get you outta here, don’t you- AH!” he had gotten burnt and backed away, “Shit, what now?!”

It was clear you knew your time was up, so you saw that one of the patrons, namely one of the leader’s partners, had grabbed a bottle of whiskey before he left, so you sighed and looked at him, “Give me a taste of that…”

“What? Nah man, finder’s keepers” he said, holding the bottle close to his chest, but the leader took it from him

“Give the man a taste! He helped saved this person, so he deserves to go out the right way!” he popped the top as I felt my life slip away more and more, putting the tip up to my lips, “Drink up fella, it’s clear the medics ain’t gonna be here in time, so you might as well get that last taste before ya go”

“Yeah… thanks…” you said, carefully drinking the whiskey as it burned a little going down, but you could’ve sworn it felt like Heaven as you drank about half the bottle, then felt yourself slipping away, closing your eyes with a smile as your body burned more and more.

Everyone backed away, gasping and shedding some tears having lost their bartender. The leader of the bikers carefully shaked your body, “Stay with us fella! They’re just down the street!”

You had your back against something, something rough. You couldn’t make it out, but damn, your back hurt like hell. From what you could tell, it was also night time, as the moon was out and chatter could be heard from behind you. You looked around, and, sure enough, you found out that you were currently laid up against a bar, which in itself, was oddly coincidental. You could still use your legs, so you slowly got to your legs and walked out from behind the bar, walking inside. It was lively tonight, for sure, and you weren’t sure what it was. Not having anything to really pay with, you just took a random seat at the bar. The weirdest thing was that instead of the bar being filled with traditional human patrons, it was instead filled with anthro pony patrons, which really made you think: Did you drink too much of that Whiskey?

Your thoughts were soon interrupted as a voice was heard, “Excuse me sir, what would you like? You’ve been spaced out at the bar for a while” you shook your head and saw a mare with purple-ish or even maroon-ish hair, or so you guessed, as it was actually her mane. Her coat color was a light purple, and her eye color looked magenta-ish at best.She did look good, and her bust was pretty good as well, but to not be a pervert, you looked her in the eyes like a gentlemen.

“Oh, my apologies. I don’t actually have anything to pay with. My pockets are dry” you said, getting a giggle out of the mare as she passed you what looked to be a punch of some kind.

“I’m just joshing you, dude, it’s on the house. I know you’re not from around here” she said as I had just taken a sip from the berry drink, tasting a bit of alcohol in it, then spitting some out.

“Wait, you do? What gave it away?” you said, clearly surprised that she knew you weren’t from around here, but then, she pointed over to a table where another human and a Anthro pony mare sat from across each other, and it seemed like one was trying to outdrink the other.

“You see them over there? That’s Applejack and her husband Bucky, and as you can see, Bucky’s a human, like you. They’re not exactly my most common customers, but tonight’s their anniversary, and they’re treating themselves to some good ol drinks! Course, they have their family looking over their kid, so that’s off their list of worries. They’re good people, for sure” she concluded, cleaning out a glass

“So you’re saying there’s more humans here in… what’s this place?” you said, still clueless as you took another sip from the glass

“Ponyville, more specifically, Equestria, as that’s the name of this country. And to answer your question, yes, there are more humans here. There’s a few of them here in Ponyville, a couple in Canterlot, Two on Mount Aris, One in the Dragon Lands, Two in Cloudsdale, One in Griffinstone, One’s with Zecora in the forest, and blah blah blah. My point is, ever since Twilight Sparkle, the Princess of Friendship, the Sun, and the Moon, and Canterlot, first met her human husband, Beau, a human like you has popped up every couple months or years. Eventually, Equestria had so many humans that Pony-inhabited cities had to allow for fish to be caught and served as food for our ever-growing human population,” she concluded as she sighed

“Wow, that’s quite the history, though I have to ask, who’s the person to go to for more information?” you asked her, causing her to sweat.

“Well, I’d say Twilight, but she’s in Canterlot now, so your next best is to head to the school of friendship. There you’ll find Starlight, and she’s practically as smart as Twilight, so she may have answers for you, more than I can give ya. Though, if you’re still hungry for information, then it’s best you go to Twilight” she sighed as she wiped the counter clean

“I see… So what exactly would I do about… a place to stay?” you asked as she giggled a little.

“Well, it’d be rude of me to turn you away, and I think Applejack and Bucky are super drunk, so when I close up shop, you can crash at my place and I’ll help you find a job in the morning, sound good?” she said as you nodded, having finished the drink she gave you, “Awesome! You can chill here until I close up shop”

After waiting for a few hours and her collecting all the tips, you both walked to her home, which wasn’t too far from the bar, and she opened the door as you saw the floor cluttered with trash, “Sorry bout the mess, I don’t exactly have company over too often..”

“Eh, it’s alright. Assuming I take the couch?” you assumed right away, as you had a habit of crashing at friends’ places and on their couches whenever you were hungover.

“Actually, I have a guest room upstairs, and believe it or not, I actually keep it cleaner than my own room” she said as she ascended the stairs, “C’mon, I’ll help get it set up for you”

You followed behind her as you said, “So, you mentioned ponies… is Equestria primarily dominated by anthro horses?”

“The correct term is just Ponies, skippy, but yes, even though Equestria consists mainly of ponies, there are several other races in Equestria, such as the Dragons, Griffins, Hippogriffs, Changelings, Parrots, Zebras, Yaks, and of course your race, Humans. You haven’t seen it yet, but some of the humans’ children here share both human and pony-like features, such as things like eye color, mane or hair color, whether or not they have a horn or wings, and the color of their coat/skin” Berry concluded, unlocking the door to the guest room.

“Wait wait, let me get this straight, Ponies can cross breed?” you said, a little surprised

“Like I said earlier, it’s not just ponies, but zebras, dragons, griffins, and hippogriffs. Next thing you know, it’s gonna be proven that a human and a changeling can cross breed, but who knows? So from the looks of it, anypony, male or female, can cross breed with a human of their opposite gender. Mare with a male, or Stallion with a female. Make sense yet?” she concluded, setting up the guest bed.

“I guess… it’s just a lot to take in…” You said, taking a seat on the end of the bed

“Eh, look at it this way, you’ll get used to it. Anyways, if you need anything, let me know” she yawned, leaving the room and heading to her own.

Shit, this is pretty crazy, but more than likely, this ain’t no dream or hallucination… you yawned as you covered up and fell asleep.

You woke up the next day as a nearby rooster crowed, getting you right out of bed. You yawned as you walked down the stairs and saw Berry Punch at her stove, making eggs.

“Hey skippy, you hungry?” she said

“A little, yeah” you said, sitting at her table quietly. She soon passed you a plate of eggs as you dug right in, liking what they provided. You soon finished the eggs, pushing the plate back to her.

“Damn, you must’ve been hungry” she said, washing the plate off. She then cleared her throat, “Alright, we gotta find something for you to do. What are you best at?”

“Well, I have a good amount of experience as a bartender, but I wanna try something I never got the courage to do back then” you said, drinking some water.

“Which is?” Berry asked

“Becoming a baker, duh. It was one of my childhood dream careers,” you responded.

“What prevented you from seeing it through in your past life?” she asked, putting the empty glass in the sink and rinsing it out

“Parents spat on it enough for me to give up on it” you said in a dry tone.

“Damn, that’s rough. Well, as far as I know, Sugar Cube Corner is very busy, and well, Pinkie, her human husband Frosty, and her other husband, Cheese Sandwich, all got Sugar Cube Corner pretty held down. Y’know, a good friend of mine by the name of Bon-Bon could use some employees, as business’s been rough for her due to how big Sugar Cube Corner is. Wanna take a look at it?” she asked.

You nodded in response, getting up, and halfway through, seeing the burn marks on your clothes, “That reminds me, is there a clothing store somewhere in Ponyville?”

“There’s Rarity’s boutique, and I’m sure she’ll give you your first set for free, so we should do that first. Actually, I got a change of clothes for you to borrow, stay here” she said as she ran upstairs, grabbing a t-shirt and some jeans, “They’re a bit big on me, so maybe they’d fit you?”

You took the clothes and tried them on in the guest room, finding they were indeed, a perfect fit. You came back downstairs as she nodded with a smile, “I had a feeling it’d fit you”

“Thanks. Now that I think about it, I never asked your name,” you said

“My name, it’s Berry Punch, what’s yours?” she said as you introduced yourself, “Well, pleased to meet you. Anyways, you ready to check out my friend’s shop?”

“As ready as I’ll ever be, Berry” you said as you both left her home.

You and Berry walked through Ponyville, coming to a small and discreet shop. Several sweets were on display through the window, and to be fair, you drooled just a little at the many candies that filled the jars. The two of you walked in as a bell rang and a pony walked to the register, “Hi, welcome to my candy shop! What can I interest-” She paused as she saw Berry, “Oh, Berry, what a surprise! Didn’t expect you to be here… who’s your friend?” seeing the opportunity, you introduced yourself to the mare.

“Well, nice to meet you! I’m Bon-Bon, and this is my candy shop! Could I interest you in one of my delicious treats?” She asked as you shook your head

“I was told by Berry that not too many ponies work here, so I was wondering if I could possibly get a job here” you said, causing her eyes to widen.

“Well, other than my wife Lyra, I guess you’re right. And even then, Lyra’s not always around to help me out” she said, smiling a little, though this threw you for a loop. You knew that it wasn’t exactly too rare to see a lesbian or gay couple, but from what you’ve seen so far, there weren’t too many gay or lesbian couples in Ponyville, but you weren’t exactly bothered by it either.

“So does that mean I could work here?” you asked with a head tilt.

“Do you have any prior experience with baking sweets?” she asks with some eagerness in her voice.

“Not exactly, but I did bake cupcakes a few times for special occasions, and maybe 2 or 3 cakes, 2 were for birthdays, and one was for a wedding, that was my hardest one yet” you said as Bon-Bon noted it down on a piece of paper.

“Hmmmmmm, you got the experience, but you’d more than likely have to learn how to make some candy as well” she was still writing things down, “If you want, I can-”

She was interrupted as her wife, Lyra, walked in and ran over to Bon-Bon, giving her a tight squeeze and a peck on the cheek, “Hey Bonnie! How’s my Bonnie-Wonnie doing today?”

Bon-Bon blushed red a little as she looked at Lyra, “L-Lyra! Y-You’re embarrassing me!”

“Heh, they’re cute, aren’t they?” Berry softly elbowed you, and you looked at the two mares, seeing how cute they are. Lyra had to have had a D-cup, but Bon-Bon, on the other hand, only had about a B-cup. Regardless, they looked cute, and beautiful, of course.

“Not just cute, they’re beautiful” you said, but must’ve said out loud, as the two mares looked at you with widened eyes. Bon-Bon was blushing a little, but Lyra on the other hand, was blushing beet red. She then looked right at Bon-Bon and said, stuttering a little.

“D-D-Did you hear that Bonnie? A h-human called me b-beautiful!” she stuttered, and just hid her face in Bon-Bon’s mane

“Wait, other humans haven’t called her beautiful before?” you said, clearly confused.

“Most of them never really noticed her, and anytime she was near one, it was mostly when the human in question was already married or in a relationship, so they never really said anything about her beauty until you did” Bon-Bon said, stroking her wife’s mane softly.

“Note how I said “They’re”, meaning you too, Bon-Bon” you said, causing her to blush a tad redder.

“You think I’m beautiful? That’s very sweet of you. But, enough flattery, I could use some help, and well, you seem like a good enough candidate” Bon-Bon said, grabbing and passing you an apron.

“Oh, that reminds me, Bon-Bon, could you maybe let this guy stay with you? I’d let him stay with me, but my apartment’s very cramped. So, can you?” Berry asked Bon-Bon

“I don’t know Berry, it’d be kinda weird having a human I- or, we, just met end up living in our house” Bon-Bon said, sweating a little

Lyra, however, was eccentric about the idea, “Bonnie, can we please let the nice human live with us? He seems like a genuinely nice guy”

“He does, but do we really need a human in our house? What if we’re having “Special time”? Wouldn’t he overhear us?” Bon-Bon counteracted.

“If it’s that much of an issue, I’ll buy noise-cancelling headphones, jesus H” you said, clearly making Lyra smile

“See Bonnie, he knows how to respect other mares’ privacy. Can he live with us, pretty please?” Lyra said, making puppy eyes at her wife

After staring at Lyra for about 30 seconds, Bon-Bon groaned and sighed, “Fine, but he has to help us around the house, not just at work, Okay?”

Lyra squealed happily as she smooched Bon-Bon’s cheek, “Yay! Thank you Bonnie!”

“Well, I guess that’s my cue to get outta here” Berry said, taking her leave.

“Wait, Berry, you sure you don’t want a candy or sweet?” Bon-Bon offered

“Bon-Bon, I only came here cause of the fact that my human friend here needed a job, that’s all. Skippy, treat em well and earn their trust, well, Bon-Bon’s trust, but she’ll warm up to you eventually” Berry said, taking her leave for real this time, leaving the shop completely

“So, am I a part of y’alls residence?” you asked. Before you left for the shop, you had discarded your burnt clothes, since Berry said you could keep the clothes she gave you.

“Absolutely!” Lyra squealed, running over to you and giving a heartfelt hug. You kinda felt awkward with Bon-Bon staring. You decided to speak up.

“Um, Bon-Bon, you need a hug?” you asked her as she blushed nervously

“W-What? Why would I need a h-hug?” she stuttered nervously

“Bonnie, he’s our new friend, c’mon, give him a hug and join in” Lyra insisted, as Bon-Bon sighed and slowly came over, joining in on the hug and hugging you. You felt more comfortable hugging both mares, so you hugged them back, and both mares blushed in different ways: Lyra blushed red as a tomato, and Bon-Bon had a faint blush on her face. You noticed and slipped out of the two mares’, looking confused.

“Is there something… wrong? Did I touch somewhere I shouldn’t’ve touched?” you were clearly very confused.

They sighed in unison, then looked at you. Lyra was the first to speak, “No no, you didn’t do anything wrong, we’re just… hot from the sun!”

“Y-Yeah, that’s right, it is pretty hot outside…” Bon-Bon said nervously, sweating bullets

“Bon-Bon, may I use your kitchen?” you asked

“I… don’t see why not?” Bon-Bon responded

You walked into the kitchen and found it to be a mess, similar to what you’d see on Hell’s Kitchen. If Gordon Ramsey saw this kitchen, he’d have a fit. Not wanting to humiliate the girls, you took a mop and started cleaning.

After about 2 hours, you were finished. You had mopped the floor until it was shining, cleaned all the dishes, wiped the counters, scrubbed the sinks, and everything. The kitchen looked brand new basically, it was no doubt that Bon-Bon would love what you’ve done. Speaking of Bon-Bon, a door was heard opening to the kitchen as she entered the kitchen.

“Hey, how are- oh my Celestia!” She was in awe at how the kitchen looked. She was clearly in shock as she just couldn’t find the words. She then locked her eyes on you and only you. The only thing out of view was a cake that said, You’re quite the sweetie, let’s be friends, for realsies.

“Like what I’ve done with the kitchen? From what I can tell, you’re uneasy with me staying with y’all, so I figured this is a good way of me, well, proving my worth? I don’t know how to say it, but bottomline, Bon-Bon, I want us to build a friendship, okay. I even made a cake to help better convince you” you said, showing her the cake you had baked. You only hoped she’d like it and be more comfortable around you. She first read what was written on the cake, and then looked at you, shedding a small tear then hugging you. Not seeing Lyra around, you hugged her softly. Breaking the silence, you spoke up, “Do you… like it?”

She smiled a little as she looked up at you, “I love it, you’re amazing. At first, I had my doubts, but this proves you’re a good guy. Also, good news, shop closes in a few minutes, so I’ll be closing up shop, you’ll be heading to my home with me, and you can take Lyra’s old bedroom, as she sleeps with me”

“Well, good to know you love the cake. Want me to help you close shop?” you asked as her tail wagged a little, and you thought it was a little cute.

“Sure, it won’t take us long” she said as you both closed up the shop

After you and Bon-Bon closed up shop, you walked to her and Lyra’s home. It was nice for a couple, being decently sized. When she opened the door for you, their house was decently clean. The floor was clear and the place looked absolutely beautiful. Lyra saw you both and ran up to you both, hugging you and Bon-Bon, “Yay! You’re both here!”

“Heh yeah, good to be home” Bon-Bon said, petting Lyra softly.

“So, where am I sleeping?” you said as Bon-Bon led you to Lyra’s old room, and surprisingly, it looked like a guest room instead of Lyra’s old room.

“Wow, did you do this, Lyra?” Bon-Bon asked

“Yep! Once you said we could bring him home, I set up my old room to his comfort!” she then turned to you and smiled, “I hope you like it!”

“It’s clean, and that’s what matters most. Thank you, Lyra and Bon-Bon, you both are amazing.” you said as they both blushed and just smiled.

“It’s not a problem! We’re just helping our new friend!” Lyra said as she gave you a quick hug and left with Bon-Bon.

There you sat on the guest bed. You thought to yourself as Lyra and Bon-Bon, who were married, went to their room. They were beautiful, and despite them being married, you couldn’t help but think they were both beautiful, you could guess that you had a crush on the both of them.Putting your thoughts to rest, you covered up and sighed, closing your eyes until the next day.