Author's Note

Content warning: Violence, gore, death at the end.

This chapter and the next are gonna be dark.

Entry 38

Once the medic and the stenographer finished and left, it was just me, Starlight, and Blueblood in the meeting room, discussing security and Trixie. I'd taken my place back at Starlight's side. I still hadn't recovered from the embarrassment I felt from Emerald getting so touchy-feely with him. Still, whatever he had said to her, it'd shown me something. There was hope for her. Despite her own damage, she was able to accept that not all stallions were going to hurt her.

Not like me... Even when it's Starlight or Twilight, I flinch occasionally, even though I know for a fact they'd never hurt me... In the polished wood of the table, I glimpsed the visage of Hunger—or was it Chrysalis's face I was seeing, and I was just finally losing it? The longer I spend here in more Manehattan, the more I hunger for revenge for her; even if it's just mental contamination, it's giving me the strength to stand. For her, I'd... I shook my head to clear my thoughts. We are not seeking him out! I'd promised to keep her safe, and it was not a promise I intended to break.

"I give you my word, Starlight Glimmer," Blue was saying, meeting her gaze. "My ponies will find your friend. We have not forgotten that she was among the team that brought Chrysalis to her knees. War against an invading force or not, Equestria does not abandon its heroes."

"And you'll have somepony meet us at the gate to escort us back to the hotel, right?" Starlight asked, glancing down at me with a look of worry. "Even if that stallion does have the police in his pocket, surely he wouldn't be arrogant enough to go after anypony directly protected by the Royal Guard."

With a shake of my head, I sighed. "I wouldn't be so sure about that," I said. "At the very least, he knows that Starlight was here, talking to you. I felt that pony that was following us yesterday when we first teleported in. He ran off quick enough, but Storm knows you were here. Raging Storm might not know what you told Blue, but based on the letter Trixie was carrying, he's likely to have suspicions."

Blueblood frowned and looked like he was going to say something, but I quickly continued, "He'll want to make Trixie and Starlight disappear, maybe not right away, but if he knows that there's two ponies in here—" I thumped my chest with my hoof. "—he might believe he can use Star to lure me back into the open." It'd probably work, too. I clapped my hooves together hard enough to make them tingle. "Then...Bam! He snatches me up and vanishes into the woodwork like a roach."

The prince seemed to consider this for a moment. He was probably sharing a similar concern that I was: that Raging Storm would expect not to be convicted of anything if Trixie and Starlight were to just up and vanish... Then he could lie low for a bit, or skip town. It would be arrogant, and in any normal situation it might have worked.

Too bad he was fucking with friends of the crown and national heroes. He probably didn't even have a clue that he'd kidnapped someone who could be considered a national hero. During a national emergency like this, the Royal Guard probably wouldn't act with any urgency under any other circumstance.

"I'll have Lieutenant Haze and one of her subordinates escort you to your hotel to retrieve your belongings," he announced with a reassuring voice. "Once you're fully packed, return here." He gave Starlight an apologetic look as she rose to her hooves and moving for the door. "We can arrange a wagon out of town when you return, but I will understand if you wish to remain on base until your friend has been found."

Rising to join Starlight at the door, I began the process of putting my cloak back on. The disillusionment charm on it was only temporary, but would probably last just long enough for us to get back to the hotel. Luckily, it wouldn't take effect on me until I pulled the hood up, meaning I wouldn't set off that alarm on the way out.

"Thank you, Your Highness," Starlight said, bowing. That's new. "I was wrong about you, and I'm so glad that you proved me wrong."

I blinked, glancing up at her. What in the fuck did I miss, exactly? She never really got my friendship with the guy, and even after seeing him on the field of battle, she'd still looked doubtful about him. What was it that she saw while I was out? That he was actually a compassionate and competent person hiding behind a boorish mask?

"Take care, my friends," he said in a soft voice as we departed. "And good luck."

The journey out of the headquarter building was quick, and exceedingly quiet. With this latest turn of events, Starlight wasn't exactly talkative, and I wasn't exactly in the mood either. A bad feeling was beginning to form in the pit of my stomach, and I once more caught a glimpse of that changeling figure on a reflective surface. This time, it was wearing a watch, which it pointed at with a smirk.

Yeah, yeah, the clock is ticking. Gotta choose soon.

I barely paid attention as Starlight conversed with the lieutenant. After all, I just had to put my hood up and I could practically walk back to the hotel unseen. Instead, I kept my hood off just long enough for her to know I was following, and for her to instruct me to keep close. Being on four legs for as long as I had now, it'd become second nature to be able to just follow without thinking about it.

Part of my attention was split between keeping an eye out for trouble, and checking in on Emerald. I didn't expect Mr. Watcher to be back. From what I'd seen of him yesterday, he was nothing but a coward motivated by saving his own skin. In Starlight's memory, he looked absolutely fucking terrified. My threat was enough to put the fear of God me into him, but he still couldn't go against Storm.

'You asleep, Em?' I asked inwardly, keeping my head on a swivel. There was no reason for my boosted paranoia, but still, I kept my mind open for hints something might be up: Excitement, anticipation, anxiety above the local baseline... The anxiety was quite high throughout the city right now, and it felt like shit was one bad day away from a riot as it was, but someone running an ambush or something would probably be a lot more anxious. Even the guards are on edge, for crying out loud.

It took a little while for Emerald to respond. 'Nnnh, not really,' she groaned back at me. I certainly knew that feeling... She was probably mentally exhausted from giving her testimony, but her mind wouldn't rest. Well, that and we still hadn't worked out if that little dream partition allowed for sleep or substituted it. 'I keep thinking about Mommy, and how I'm gonna have a new life away from him. Is it really true that our new Mommy is a princess?'

Luna would be so confused to just come into my dream and see me playing cards with myself. I mused, almost missing her question. 'Twilight is a princess, yes, although I think of her more as Auntie Twilight.' I responded. Off in the distance behind us, it sounded like somepony was setting off firecrackers. 'Did you know that, besides Princess Celestia, Princess Luna, and Princess Twilight, there's another alicorn princess?'

'Really?' was her tired response. 'What's she princess of?'

My eyes flicked to the other side of the road. Spike in excitement... A pair of teenage unicorn colts were levitating a box of matches and individual firecrackers. The moment whoever was setting off firecrackers back down the road stopped, these two began. False alarm.

'Princess Cadance is the Princess of Love,' I explained, glancing back to Starlight and the guards. They didn't seem to be all that perturbed about the firecrackers, although the pegasus lieutenant mumbled something about how dry it was. It almost seemed intentionally regular. Krak. Krak. Krak. 'I think she married Twilight's brother, Shining Armour back in '01.' I smiled softly, remembering how nice Cadance was. Also, I had to admit that alicorn foal snuggles were the best. 'She also has her own kingdom and a baby. Really cute kid, and super friendly too. You'll probably get to meet all of them when this whole thing is over...'

By the time we were half-way to the hotel, I was starting to get the feeling that something was up. I'd been telling Emerald about the trip Starlight and I had intended to go on before the Storm King invaded, when we'd passed another group of teens with firecrackers. Like the previous time, the moment this group started, the previous stopped. Someone's using these teens to track our movements... I narrowed my eyes, considering whether or not to suggest we take a less direct route to the lieutenant. It's almost like we're walking into...

Skreeee... KRAK! That wasn't the same kind of firework as I'd been hearing. That was almost certainly a signal... but for what?

From up above, on the roof of the bodega we just passed, a bright green ball of sparkles shot over our heads, streaking right into a manhole cover, where it exploded harmlessly. For a moment the others tensed... but when seemingly nothing happened, everypony relaxed. There was even a muttered "Damn teenagers..." from the lieutenant. They all started walking again, but my eyes were still locked on the manhole cover.

What's that hissing sound?

'Anon, why'd you stop—'

"EVERYONE, GET DOWN!" I screamed, turning away from the roadway. What did the galley cook, Ibrahim, say about explosion shock waves? Turn away, check... Cover ears? On top of pressing them flat against my head, I threw my hooves over top of my hood and ears. Open mouth...

Just as I opened my mouth again, the middle of the road exploded behind me. Although a majority of the heat of the explosion escaped upward, the sewer mouth acting as a fougasse before exploding outward. I still found myself thrown into the bodega wall by the blast. My false horn exploded from the impact, cutting my brow with shards of broken pottery. It was a small wonder my glasses didn't break.

As debris rained down around me, I struggled unsteadily to my hooves. Starlight and the guards had been just far enough ahead to just be dazed by the blast, for all the good it did them. All I could do was dizzily slump against the wall and watch... I hope I don't have a bad concussion. Down from the rooftop jumped half a dozen thugs, all of them slamming into the others.

Starlight was probably the lucky one. The two that went after her merely threw a burlap sack over her head before smacking her with a blackjack. As she dropped like a stone, Serenity fell free of her saddlebags. Lieutenant Haze and her subordinate had their helmets caved in with broken pavement chunks. The moment the two were downed, the goons dragged them into an alley, while Starlight was tossed over the back of an earth pony thug.

"You used way to bucking much black powder!" I managed to hear one goon over the tinnitus I'd gotten. "You could'a killed somepony!" Considering there were plenty of injured civilians on the other side of the street, the admonished idiot still possibly could have. The guy reached over and smacked a scrawny looking unicorn in the back of the head. "Boss is worried enough about the Royal Guard breathin' down our necks without you's killing them an' a bunch of civvies!"

I struggled to get back on my hooves, but my legs felt like jello. I need to follow them! Everything was going cold, and it was hard to breathe. I'm in shock, I realised as dragged myself across the ground toward Serenity. Nobody even seemed to notice the blood dripping from my head onto the sidewalk, or the way my belly and coat were smearing it. They all just took Starlight and ran.

Grabbing Serenity without getting blood on her was hard, and her calming effect didn't seem to help with the shock... Gonna have to hand over control to Emerald... I thought, flopping onto my side. I reached up with my free hoof to touch my brow. Yep, that's a gash above my eye... As my vision grew dark around the edges, I carefully took off my glasses and stuck them in a pocket in my cloak. Here's hoping that doesn't carry over to Emerald...

~ 38 ~

The dream room was dark when I opened my eyes. Inwardly, I was thankful, because somehow, I had a migraine . How do I even have a headache here? I wondered, glancing around. It took a moment for it to sink in what had happened and why I was here. The ambush... the shock... my head injury.

He has Starlight. Seeingly in response to my panic, all light left the room. The temperature dropped, and that feeling of numbness was spreading quickly across my body. Even the pile of pillows did nothing to mitigate the feeling. That bastard took my sister!

'Anon, please come back!' came Emerald's pleading voice. It sounded like she'd been crying. 'Starlight's gone... You're there but you're gone... Everypony's gone and I don't know what to do!'

"Emerald?" I called out. "What do you mean I'm gone?"

There was a bright rush of light filling the room as Emerald burst through the door. She hurtled over the low table, and before I could even be sure of what happened I found myself pinned beneath the filly. If this'd been the real world, the strength of her hug would've been crushing. It came with the territory of being an earth pony. Even if our shared body wasn't as strong as Apple Bloom because of the neglect and malnutrition, it would be easy to accidentally hurt Sweetie Bell or Scootaloo when it came to roughhousing.

She was also crying really hard. So I did the only thing that made sense at the time; I returned the hug and patted her trembling back. It must've been terrifying for her to come to in the street like that, covered in debris and my blood... no Starlight around, and a pair of unconscious guards in a nearby alley... There might've even been ponies who'd succumbed to their injuries. How awful that must have been.

That's it, I decided, catching my Hunger-distorted reflection staring down at me from the ceiling. A calmness like I'd never felt before had overtaken me. Everything about what I had to do next seemed so clear to me. No more niceties, Raging Storm.

"It's going to be okay," I whispered when she finally calmed down enough. "Can you tell me where we are?"

Emerald climbed off of me, but stayed curled up against my side. "The hotel room," she answered "We were close enough that I could find my way... and thanks to you, I knew where the key was." She started to whimper slightly. "He took Starlight, didn't he?"

I nodded. "Yeah." My voice sounded strange to me. That calm had completely stripped all emotion from my voice, and I think even Em picked up on it, because it seemed to startle her. "Don't you worry your pretty little head though, kiddo." I smiled at her in an attempt to sound reassuring. Evidently, I was failing, because she winced."Your big sis, Anon," I said, patting her on the head as I stood, "is going to go get her back... and then we'll all be one big happy family."

That declaration only made her scramble away. "You can't!" she cried, hopping onto the bed. I didn't really understand the point. Was she taking the moral high ground literally? "We're just foals! We can't stand up to adults like them."

I couldn't help it. I broke into laughter. "Oh, I'm not going to stand up to them," I said, focusing on rising up into consciousness. She looked adorable in her relief, short-lived though that expression was. "There's not going to be anything left to stand up to when I'm through."

Turning to her, I gave her a sombre look. Taking control feels so hard... It's almost like she's fighting it. I knew why, of course. As much as she seemed to like Starlight, that monster still scared her more. She doesn't want me to go. "I promised that I would protect you, and I meant it," I said, walking towards the door. "In order to do that, I'm going to have to do some not very good things... I need you to promise me something, Emerald. Until I say it's okay, I need you to promise not to try and take control... If things go well... I might even have a body of my own by the end of it."

Those green eyes of hers bore an unfathomable sadness. "Okay," she agreed. The resistance I felt was starting to slip away. "But you gotta promise to still be there for me..." In a quiet voice that I could scarcely make out, she said, "I just got two sisters... I don't wanna lose one already."

I stepped out the door of the dream, and found myself opening my eyes in the hotel room. My body was once more atop the bed, hugging Serenity, my glasses on the bed beside me. 'I promise, Emerald.' I whispered inward as I put on my glasses. Despite the tranquil fury that had overtaken my mind, I felt a tiny warmth blossom deep within. 'Even if the others get angry for what I must do next... even if for a time they drive me away, you will always be my sister. This is my oath to you.'

The hotel room was mostly exactly as we left it. My bag was by the pillow, the safe sat empty underneath the table. My blood-smeared cloak was hanging on the back of one of the chairs. I quickly went over to the door and checked it. Nothing had been slipped underneath, and upon checking outside, nothing had been pinned to the door. So I have time yet to prepare...

First, my injury needed to be tended to. I could feel the cut above my eye beginning to trickle down my face once more. Hopping down from the bed, I grabbed the first aid kit from my saddlebag. Into the bathroom I went, and after some careful kicks, I was able to get myself on top of the counter. Man, I look bad. The broken false horn got blood all over it. Wonder if that's what the real thing would look like with a fresh break.

As I used a hoof-towel—a black one, because I'm not a complete savage—to clean up the gash, I leaned close. It was hard to get a good angle, especially blindly fumbling to open the first-aid kit, but I inspected the cut. Against all odds, it didn't seem to have any broken pottery in the wound itself. I didn't have the time or skill to stitch it up. Similarly, it was too large for a simple plaster. Superglue it is then.

Once that was out of the way with, and I'd cleaned off what blood I could, I made my way back into the room proper. From my saddlebag, I fetched the fire spell I used to bake the clay discs, new spell medallion, my tools, and some clay. Once I was seated at the table, I took the time to slot it in the top pocket on my left foreleg.

We've long since passed my tipping point—my breaking point... Raging Storm crossed a line that he can't ever uncross... Yet... except for those who he pimped out Emerald to, I couldn't say with 100% certainty all of his ponies deserve what I'll do if they cross me. With this revised spell alone, I could probably tear a pony apart... My blood hungers for vengeance, but I'm not sure I'm willing to commit to mass murder to save my sister.

No, I might have to take a few out, but if I could instil absolute terror, most would probably fold like chairs. There was no need of planning for a Hiroshima level eventuality, but if I could quickly and decisively break their spirits, I wouldn't have to. Hmm... At the end of the first war, Germany complained about how inhumane the trench gun was. A lot of the unnecessary suffering it 'caused' likely had less to do with the weapon itself and more to do with how the injuries behaved in trench conditions. Still, show something like that to ponies—who use stuff like swords, shields, bows, and typically basic spells—and they'll probably scatter.

Conjure Earth. I began etching out once I prepared the medallion. Eight obsidian spheres... 9.14 mm. I was pretty sure that was about right for #000 buck. Fire in random spread, tight grouping, at line-of-sight target from 1ft in front of caster. Velocity... 400 m/s. I winced, remembering a dark-web video Keith had shown me once. What that 12-gauge did to that person at close range was horrific... and would absolutely demoralize somepony. Worse, because I was using obsidian in place of steel or lead—thanks to that awful limitation of earth conjuration, I had to get creative—it would cause extra damage when a pellet broke and fractured.

This definitely violates the Geneva Conventions... but I'm pretty sure this world doesn't have those... yet.

As I baked my little war crime, I stopped to think. I was suddenly way too okay with the idea of taking lives. Mobsters and pony traffickers or not, killing was still killing. I couldn't even hide behind saving civilians from an invading army. These poor fuckers weren't wearing plate mail or flying in an airship...

Then again, they took Starlight, one of the most important ponies in my entire world. "Isn't that reason enough to rip and tear?" It was Hunger whispering to me in Chrysalis' voice. Of course it was. "I might not be Wrath, but even I have to admit this bloodlust is appealing. In such a short time, you've shown such intense hunger, some of the most intense desires I've ever had the pleasure of experiencing. Even little Luna's hunger for affection all those centuries ago didn't burn this bright."

That sent a chill down my spine, because I actually couldn't disagree with her on the matter of ripping and tearing. If I'd just been there with Mom while she finished packing, he never would have killed her... If it'd been different, might I have actually killed him? Wouldn't killing Raging Storm ensure that he couldn't ever hurt Starlight, Emerald, Trixie, or anybody else ever again? Isn't that enough?

If not for the fact that I was almost entirely convinced that this was indeed Hunger embodied toying with me, I'd have been the slightest bit concerned that I'd gotten myself a Nightmare of my own. Except, I'd been told that the Nightmare had been purged. So far, she's only set out one price to achieve two of my goals... that I cast a spell she hasn't yet given me when I meet him. I even made sure to clarify that I would not just have my soul stuffed into that rapist instead... a body of my own with my own, complete with my talent intact.

"You're enjoying yourself a bit too much, aren't you?" I asked once the medallion had cooled enough to slip into the lowest pocket on the same leg as the other I'd slotted in. Slowly, I started packing everything away, glancing at the clock—almost three in the afternoon. I even made sure to put the key in my jacket pocket. "I still don't even know what you're actually getting out of this whole deal. It can't just be for one big 'Fuck you!' directed at Harmony."

Again, Hunger appeared on the clock face. "Is having someone unafraid to embrace their hungers not justification enough?" she purred in that eerie two-toned voice of Chrysalis. "I already know you've made great use of the gift bestowed upon you by my former acolyte. Deep down, you desired to know what others were feeling so as to better read them, Anonymous. Has it not aided you well?"

I was just about to argue with her more when I once again felt the presence of that pony I threatened yesterday. He was with another presence. Hunger giggled mockingly as I examined the emotions the pair were radiating. Mister Lack-of-Self-Preservation was absolutely terrified, while the other pony was a mix of anxious and frustrated. He's pissed at the watcher, it seems like.

I carefully approached the door, straining my ear to listen as they drew closer. "This is it, Palooka," the stalker was saying. "This is the room the manager said. Now leave the boss's calling card, and let's split."

It was a good thing that I wasn't there with my ear against the door; what seemed to be a combat knife punched through the fiberboard door right at my head level. It was just close enough, though, that the tip of the blade nearly scratched my glasses. I just got this pair, and if you bastards ruin them...

"Why the buck are you so scared of this kid, Piercing Gaze?" the pony named Palooka responded. "She didn't put up a lick of a fight when the boss gave me a turn with her."

Oh... My blood was starting to pump in my ears. The muscle in my jaw tensed so hard it felt like my back molars were gonna explode. Oh dear...

"You don't get it!" Gaze cried out. He wasn't even trying to stay quiet. "That little psychopath knew I was there, that I was followin' her and that show broad. Lured me into an ambush and made it very clear she could kill me at any time." There was nervous laughter as he started to walk away. "Boy am I glad I never took the boss up on that offer, 'cause otherwise, she'd'a probably have whacked me." I felt that manic little bubble of laughter working up my throat as I started to see red. "Ya hear that? That shit ain't—"

I pulled the door open slowly and stepped out into the hall. "Mr. Gaze is quite right, Mr. Palooka," I said in a cold voice, placing my right hoof gently against the lowest pocket on my foreleg. There was that familiar-looking black-maned brown unicorn... and this teal earth pony with a rust-coloured mane looked way too familiar. I winced as my body responded to the realisation. He definitely was one of the monsters that hurt Emerald. "I would've... So I gotta show you just how happy I am that you delivered yourself to me as a test subject."

Piercing Gaze was evidently a smart pony. The moment he saw me, and the look in my eyes, he ran. "Buck this! I don't get paid enough for this!" Was the last thing Palooka would ever hear from his companion... or from anypony other than me ever again.

"Oooh, how precious," he said in a mocking voice as he leaned down. Oh yeah; just get right up in my space, huh, prick? "Is this you trying to be intimidating, girl? How's about we go back to your room to play 'fore I take you back to Daddy?"

I just shook my head, a wave of revulsion at the sheer gall of this... of this... Of this living corpse, the bloodlusted part of my brain filled in for me as I started channelling mana through the cloth and willing it along the grooves of the spell. "No, dumbfuck," I said in what I thought was quite the accurate imitation of Pinkie Pie's voice. Again, that manic titter was back. "This is the end of your child-molesting life."

He actually started laughing. I'm glad he thought it was funny... Laughter's supposed to be the best medicine, after all. I'm sure it wasn't as funny when that improvised buckshot coalesced between us and tore into him. What a shame it was that the laughter sort of medicine does absolutely fuck all when your jaw and neck are decimated by high-velocity glass at point blank. In fact, he might still have been conscious for what few seconds it took the upper half of his head to land at the other end of the hallway. Still, maybe it dulled the pain.

I certainly fucking hope not, I thought, the smile never leaving my face as his carcass collapsed on the red hallway carpet. With all the tranquillity I'd built up, I pulled the door shut and locked it, once more pocketing my key. Now let's see what this says.

Wrenching out the knife was surprisingly easy; a testament to how cheap that door must have actually been. The note itself was written in the basic sun-glyphs. 'If you ever wanna see the two unicorns alive and unharmed again, come down to the old warehouse district, and come alone,' I read, casually examining my reflection with the blade. Oooh, that's messy. Guess a lot of ponies are gonna have PTSD before this day is out. I tucked the knife into my jacket and turned the note over. Oh, how cute; he even drew me a map! I put the map in my pocket with my key.

Stepping around the dead mobster's body, I made my way down the hallway. Part of me wanted to pause when I reached the spot the top half of his head had landed... just make some joke in poor taste referencing Hamlet and go. There was a time and a place for that, and it wasn't here or now.

The lobby of the hotel was so quiet you could hear a pin drop as my blood-speckled form descended the stairs. All eyes were on me as I made my way over to the service desk. If I'd been tall enough, I'd have rung the bell. Instead, I contented myself by going "Ding!" as I put my forehooves against the side of the desk so I could somewhat meet the day-manager's gaze. "Yeah, you guys might wanna get a janitor and a coroner upstairs," I said with all the casualness of someone ordering coffee. "There's a paedophile in the hallway up there, and he made a real mess." Somepony in the room gasped, which only caused me to chuckle. "Nah, it's cool; I'm fine. Him, on the other hoof? Super dead."

At that, I returned to standing on all fours, and made for the door. That was when the day-manager called out to me. "And to whom should we direct the bill... for any clean-up costs?" he asked in a halting voice. I'm pretty sure I broke his brain. Was it me acting like a fluffy little psychopath? I nodded to myself. Definitely me acting like a fluffy little psychopath.

I turned to regard him as I backed out the door. "Bill it to Princess Twilight Sparkle," I said without skipping a beat. "Make sure to write this next part down: 'Clean-up costs resultant of Anonymous Rule #4 self-defence exemption!'" As the door started to swing shut, I inexplicably felt the desire to call out, "Okay, buh-bye now!"