Diaries of the Anonymous Filly

Although technically speaking, the next morning should have been my time to have control over our body, I was more than happy to let Emerald have control for breakfast. The poor thing's been in mental hibernation for the last two years—five if you use the human calendar—so I wanted her to get the most out of eating before we worked out a real schedule. Even if our scars and traumas left when the other took control, our body would keep things that weren't integral to our identities, like food, the dye, and even the fake horn affixed to our forehead.

Plus, missing out on the first meal of the day would just make me more appreciative of the other two. It seemed like the sort of thinking that would coincide with Hunger's ideals. Through moderation and abstinence I would better appreciate my drive to consume. This, in turn, would make the consumption all the more worthwhile. Temperance though Hunger... I'm sure that idea would make Harmony sick.

Speaking of Harmony, since my discussion with Hunger last night, I hadn't heard a peep from her. Even when I tried calling her up, so we could go over what I'd been told, I think she just left me on read. Not that I was really all that surprised; I'm sure from Harmony's perspective, I was being unfaithful to the patron that had allowed me my continued existence. That I was consorting with a concept whose chosen species—their children, as Harmony called them—had threatened her plans on multiple occasions probably seemed like a slap in the face.

That suited me just fine. Harmony was a grown-up concept with many millennia over me; she'd surely get over it soon enough. It wasn't like I was planning on creating a lot of disharmony like Hunger's changelings had. In fact, unless the right opportunity presented itself, I wouldn't be committing any intentionally disharmonious acts. No, what had been proposed by Hunger couldn't be used on just anyone. I wouldn't abide by it.

As much as I might play the fool, I'm not an idiot. Hunger is definitely only 'helping' in order to get one up on Harmony. After all, it's thanks to Harmony's ponies that there are no known hunger fae remaining in Equestria. It's to say, "I helped when you did nothing," and hold it over her head, I think. I'm almost afraid to see what happens when the other shoe drops, though.

It's very much a deal with the devil sort of scenario, but I need an out if I don't want to risk becoming so entangled with Emerald that we become indistinguishable. Even if harmony does let us switch at will, I don't trust her to prevent more of Emerald's memories and emotions from bleeding over.

'Hey Anon,' came Emerald's voice, echoing throughout the dream environment. Emerald did tell me that, even though the one on the inside would be blind to the outside world, we would be able to communicate when needed. 'I'm almost done with breakfast, but something's up. Big Sis Starlight's being... I dunno... weird?'

"Weird how?" I replied back through that same link. "Funny weird or scary weird?"

There was a full moment's pause, and I could feel some negative emotions bleeding through. 'Like Mommy was acting before... before he hurt her.' Images of Emerald Breeze in varying states of unease flickered through the link. 'She knocked on the door across the hall when we went down for breakfast, but nopony answered. Now she's speaking with somepony at the front desk while I finish off my cereal. I'm not dumb; I know she doesn't want to scare me, even if something's happened.'

That... didn't sound good. From the sound of it, Trixie didn't get back from that little courier job Star sent her on. It might be nothing, and she might have just fled down ahead of us, but she'd fled Canterlot with what belongings she could take on her back. Surely she wouldn't leave all that behind just to flee town ahead of us. Maybe she just went drinking and passed out in a gutter? That's a thing ponies do as good as people...

"Are you ready to swap?" I asked, readying myself for what was undoubtedly going to be a jarring transition. Rather than Emerald answering me, I found myself shutting my eyes and nodding my head. When I opened them, again, I was sitting in the middle of the dining area, where other ponies were helping themselves to the complimentary continental breakfast. I'm pretty sure one of the ponies at the table next to mine was staring at me, based on the amusement radiating off of them, although it was hard to tell without my fucking glasses!

'Were you speaking out loud when you were talking to me?' I thought back at Emerald, who was probably even now lounging on the bed I'd given her in the shared mind space. It couldn't really be called a dream now, even if it began as one. I can feel it's still intact even though I'm awake.

'Maybe?' was her guilty-sounding response. 'I didn't know if you would hear me.'

"Emerald, are you ready to go back to the room?" asked a Starlight-shaped blur before I could bury my face in my hooves. "We need to get ready to go soon."

"Did either of you think to bring my glasses?" I asked in turn. That got reactions of surprise from Starlight and the table-neighbours both. The way I spoke was definitely did not mesh with the filly they'd heard moments before. "I really hate not being able to see worth a damn."

"Right, that's gonna take some getting used to," Starlight muttered. I heard the discharge of a spell, and then my glasses settled on my muzzle, once more granting me the clarity of sight. I watched as she cleared the table before magicking over a muffin. "You okay, Anon? I was really confused last night, and Emerald made it sound like you would be here in the morning."

I shrugged before hopping down onto the floor. "It's not an ideal situation, but I'm not gonna blame her for it," I answered, moving towards the stairs. "That damn Harmony, on the other hand, seems content to let us live a shared life, swapping and sharing as we go. She doesn't even seem to care that Emerald's memories and emotions are still bleeding over at times."

With a shake of my head, I stopped on the landing and turned back to face Starlight. "So, Trixie didn't get back last night." I stated in a matter-of-fact voice. Starlight's eyes bugged out and she nearly choked on the muffin she was nibbling on as she went. "Em's more observant than you think. Filled me in before switching, and I filled in the blanks myself."

We started moving again after Starlight's shock wore off. Nobody spoke until we were in our room again. I was kinda surprised to find that most of the things were already packed and ready to go. Of course, I doubted she'd be willing to ditch town before finding out what happened to her best friend. Maybe that's why she didn't immediately levitate my bags onto my back.

"You're right, of course," Starlight said, taking a seat at the table. "The one at the desk this morning was still on from the night shift. She didn't see Trixie get back after she left to take that message to the Royal Guard." Her voice was hollow, and it sounded like she was having a hard time speaking. "There weren't even any messages left for us by runners."

I bit my lip. If Blueblood had taken her into protective custody or had someone escort her out of town ahead of us, he definitely would have sent at the very least a single Royal Guard to fetch us. That of course was operating on the assumption that she even got there in the first place. Even if it meant nothing at that moment, He saw her face yesterday, and that watcher goon had been following us both. If he was stupid or scared enough to ignore my warning...

"Do you know where the Royal Guard is based here in Manehattan?" I probed, experiencing a spike of my own anxiety. I quickly tamped down on it. Can't let that flow back down the link.

She nodded, the confusion in her aura momentarily overriding her fear. "I met a lieutenant outside the gate yesterday before going to the stadium." She was watching me from the corner of her eye as I drug my jacket out of my saddlebags. Surprisingly, I found a first aid kit in my bag atop it; I hadn't put it there, so she must have moved it from her own. I think the manaburn's worn off, because even looking for it, I can't feel that discomfort now. Her anxiety spiked when she saw me begin filling the sleeve pockets with my combat medallions. Plasma Bolt, Stonewall, Ice Spike, and Firehose. I'll grab the new spell when we get back. "Why?"

A sigh escaped my throat as I looked up at the ceiling. "The cops are in Storm's pocket, so we'll have to go over their head. We teleport over to the base, talk with Blue, and find out if Trixie even made it there... If she didn't..." I folded my ears back. "If she didn't, we're going to have to fill him in ourselves... Who Emerald is. What Harmony did... What Raging Storm did to Emerald, and to her mother. Everything."

While I put my jacket on, I caught sight of something on the clock-face. In place of my reflection, there was only Hunger, smiling knowingly at me. A blink later and she was gone, leaving me feeling hollow but for the guilt of what I'd need to do. "I'm going to try to convince Emerald to make a statement," I said with a guilty look over at Starlight. "Then we come back here with an armed escort."

It felt like someone was staring daggers at me, but Starlight was too busy regarding her muffin wrapper atop the table with disdain. "We can't just leave her," she whispered, her voice steadily rising. "She's my friend, Anon. She could be hurt and I can't abandon her!"

I shook my head. "If she didn't make it there yesterday, he likely has her, and is likely gonna use her as bait to lure us out. Let the guards deal with him," I pleaded, once more feeling that pointed gaze. My next words came out in a distorted amalgamation of Emerald's voice and my own as my own panic spiked. "He Is InSaNe AnD cAn'T bE rEaSoNeD wItH."

A sharp pain lanced through my skull, just behind my eyes, and I found myself on the floor, clutching my head. Starlight was at my side, patting my back as I shivered. It felt like the breakfast inside our shared stomach was threatening to come back up. Somehow, it felt like for one split second, both Emerald and I were both in control.

'Em, you okay?' I thought at her, hoping against all hope that she wasn't hurt worse than I was. 'I don't know what happened.'

There was a long moment before she responded. 'Owie.' Her voice across the mental link sounded very, very far off, or very, very small. 'Please don't talk about him. I can feel how mad and scared you are from in here.'

"Please," I once more pleaded when the feeling of illness passed. "If we go after her ourselves... I'm not gonna be able to control myself, Starlight. It was hard enough managing these feelings of fear and hate before Em woke up. It feels like I'll lose my mind..."

~ 37 ~

Twenty minutes after we'd both calmed down, Starlight teleported us both onto the sidewalk in front of the Manehattan Royal Guard base. The sign outside the gate proclaimed it to be the 12th Regiment Ground Station. It certainly looked like a military installation, what with the armed unicorn and pegasus guards flanking the gate, and the guard booth in front of the gate. The walls to either side of the gate were brick with wrought-iron toppers of the type Keith had once referred to as 'sack rippers'.

The moment we popped in, all eyes were on Star, all four guards outside the gate tensing. Nobody even looked at me. Good. That meant that my cloak, which we'd thrown on over my jacket, was holding the disillusionment charm—although she said it was called a Notice-Me-Not charm—she cast over it just fine. Only Starlight should even notice I'm here while I'm wearing it, and that's only because she knew I was already here.

After a moment, a pegasus mare in what appeared to be an officer's platemail stepped out and regarded Starlight. "Miss Glimmer," she greeted in a professional tone. It was only when the officer spoke that the other guards relaxed. "We weren't expecting a visit from you today." She seemed to look around for a moment, her eyes appearing to glide right over me. "What of your ward?"

Wiping her brow—Did teleportation really take that much out of her?—Starlight frowned. "That is... distressing to hear, Lieutenant Haze, and poses a significant problem" she responded. "If you weren't expecting me, that means that my friend Trixie never arrived with a message for Prince Blueblood yesterday..." I could tell that she was resisting the urge to glance down at me. "As for my ward, they're... she's safe for the time being."

The lieutenant tensed, radiating alarm. Even if she didn't know who Trixie was, a guard being told that a messenger, especially one bearing information for the de facto leader of the entire government and armed forces, had gone missing could divine that something bad was happening. Snapping her head to the right, she belted out an order to one of the unicorns. "Corporal Strata, alert Prince Blueblood that we have a situation—code yellow with potential communications compromise." When the stallion nodded, she continued. "I'll escort our guest to Meeting Room Bravo in the headquarters building in the meantime."

Strangely enough, I thought I felt another source of alarm coming from just down the block. It was there and gone so quickly that I wouldn't have even noticed, but for the familiarity of the presence. That fucking watcher! The fuck was he doing here? I mean, it meant very little in the long run, since surely Raging Storm's little cartel wouldn't be stupid enough to attack ponies under the protection of the Royal Guard, but still, it was disconcerting.

While Lieutenant Haze led us through the gate, I found my eyes drawn to the glass windows of the guard booth. As if mocking me, there was Chrysalis's face in the reflection, smirking at me—yet another reminder from Hunger that we had a deal. Oh I had no doubt that Hunger could be very patient waiting for the payout, but it seemed to be savouring the build-up. Or it just enjoys making me uncomfortable.

The inside of the compound seemed very spacious. Although there was a training field directly to our right when we entered, it was empty. Directly ahead of us was a decent sized building, made in a similar styling to much of the other buildings of the city. To our right was a smaller building that I'm pretty sure was marked Barracks in moon-glyphs, although my guess mostly stemmed from the fact that there was a few unarmoured ponies on the step having a smoke around an ash bucket.

We weren't more than two metres into the HQ building when an alarm started going off. The lieutenant spun around as guards swarmed out of nearby corridors. Starlight, for her part, looked plenty scared and confused. "Whoever you are, show yourself," she bellowed, barely contained rage boiling out into the room. "Sneaking into a Royal Guard facility is a criminal offence punishable by indefinite internment."

The moment I pulled my hood back, keeping my hooves raised as I unfastened my cloak and draped it over my withers, all eyes in the lobby snapped down to me. "I apologise for the subterfuge, ma'am," I said in a non-confrontational tone. "With Trixie disappearing and failing to deliver a message pertaining to our safety to the prince, I didn't want to take any chances."

Haze's rage quickly morphed into confusion as she looked from me to Starlight. "Lieutenant Haze, this is Anonymous Flicker—my ward as you put it," she quickly explained. "We've come to discover that, for reasons independent of the Storm King situation, Anon's safety is at severe risk while we remain in this city."

"I don't know what kind of stunt you're trying to pull, Miss Glimmer," the lieutenant growled with an air of disbelief. "The brief we were given explicitly stated that the filly known as Anonymous was an earth pony of green colouration. That is very clearly a unicorn."

"That is quite enough, Lieutenant Summer Haze," said a familiar voice. Into the lobby, accompanied by a unicorn stallion in what looked to be purple ceremonial plate, was Prince Blueblood. If the bags under his eyes and his less-than-pristine mane are any indicator, he's not had a lot of quality rest over the last few days. "I can tell from that cutie mark alone that she is exactly who Starlight says she is."

The lieutenant paled slightly—an impressive feat considering the white coat granted by the enchantment in her armour—and snapped off a quick salute. "Yes, Your Highness."

Mr. Purple Armour—probably the base commander—shook his head. "Everypony, return to your posts," he commanded. "And shut that damned alarm off before I have an aneurysm." All of the guards that had responded to the alarm quickly made themselves scarce, including the lieutenant. Turning his attention back to the prince, the stallion added. "We can continue our conversation after you've seen to your guests, Your Highness."

With a silent nod, Blueblood led us down a hallway, past several offices that probably ought to have been occupied by ranking officers. I reckoned they were probably with the base commander working on battle-strategy for the upcoming offensive they were planning. Still, it was eerie just how quiet a place this was. And the air is so full of tension.

"I must say, my little friend, that is quite the drastic disguise," Blueblood commented as he led us into a meeting room. "What sort of woes have you found yourself facing?"

I glanced at Starlight. "Your Highness, would it be possible to have a medic and a stenographer join us?" she said as she took a seat. "It'll make it easier to put what we have to say on record, and the need for a medic will be explained shortly."

Taking a seat beside her, I shut my eyes and tried to pull myself inward, back to the space I'd created for Emerald and me. It was hard, because normally I had to be asleep to even enter such a created environment, and it wasn't easy to get into the frame of mind necessary when Starlight was giving him the quick and dirty rundown before the requested staff arrived. Whatever Harmony had done, however, had fundamentally changed what that room was... potentially even where it was. Was it even actually a dream, now?

"Anon!" Emerald cried out in surprise as I flickered—Ha!—into existence atop the pillow pile. She was sitting at the low table, playing with the fake Serenity and a few other dolls I'd created during the previous night. "You're back already?"

I nodded, crawling off my pile and taking a seat across from her. "I needed to talk to you about something," I explained. "There's somepony I want you to talk to... an important friend. He is a stallion, but he's one of the good ponies; his name is Prince Blueblood."

At the mention of him being a stallion, I watched her visibly tense. She almost seemed to begin to tremble when I announced he was a prince. "W-what do I gotta talk to him for?" she asked in an accusatory voice. "You're supposed to protect me!"

Again, I nodded. "I am and I will," I said in a soft voice. "But protecting you and making sure that monster is punished for his crimes are two different things. Blue... He can go over the heads of the dirty cops and mayor and ensure he never sees the light of day again."

It looked as though that argument was actually winning her over. "What do I gotta say?" she asked, only the teensiest bit of suspicion in her eyes. I feel bad for having to put her through this... but we need this to be legally documented, especially if this shit goes south.

A lump formed in my metaphysical throat, and for a moment I had to struggle to speak. "This is going to be the hardest thing you'll ever do, but you need to tell Prince Blueblood everything that Raging Storm has done to you." All at once the light of the shared space dimmed, and it seemed as though the temperature dropped several degrees. "You will not get in trouble for what you say, no matter what threats he might've made in the past. It's important that somepony else knows, especially somepony like him, so that even if Storm finds out what we look like or where we live, he doesn't have a leg to stand on when it comes to who we belong with."

It took some desperate negotiations with her, but in the end, she agreed to accept control when I called her, and would give her statement. That said, she drove a hard bargain, and I just knew that Starlight was gonna get super cross with me. Still, if all it took to get her to rat out her father was ice cream for dinner and a stuffed animal of her own, I considered that a win.

When I came back up from that shared space, Starlight and Blueblood were looking at me with concern. I'd apparently started sweating and shivering while I was under, and my body was exhibiting stress behaviour like twitching tail, flicking ears, and, to my surprise, I was even stimming. "She'll do it," I said in a tired voice. "It took the promise of a stuffed animal and ice cream for dinner—her terms, not mine—but she'll go on record to state the abuses she suffered at the hooves of her step-father."

~ 37 ~

The next two hours seemed to drag on forever. It would've gone quicker had the prince not stopped us every so often to ask a question. The biggest thing he seemed to have trouble with was the idea that the Tree of Harmony was regularly interacting with me through my dreams. Very few ponies, it seemed, ever got to interact with Harmony directly. There had been instances of ponies receiving visions or prophetic dreams, or even more recently vague instructions from a magical table. None could really brag that Harmony had taken on the form of someone important to them and spoken to them directly. That she was becoming more active or hands on could either have been a good omen, or a portent of doom.

Blue was also quick to agree that Trixie vanishing after being sent to bring him our warning was too much to be sheer coincidence. We hadn't even gotten to the part where Emerald would provide testimony and he'd already dispatched somepony to arrange a search party. Soon after that, he even sent word to the base commander that it would be likely they would be arresting the mayor and a good portion of the Manehattan police department. Is it because I'm his friend? Or is it just the proximity to royalty that is affording this situation such a response in the midst of a national crisis?

Finally, it came to the point I'd been anxious about. Starlight had the medic hit me with the same scan spell that had been used on me just yesterday, listing my accrued injuries out loud for the stenographer, and then had me bring out Emerald. As I sank back into the dream room, I already knew what the next step would be. The medic would once more scan our body, but when it came to listing Emerald's physical injuries, it would only be whispered to the stenographer and Prince Blueblood.

Honestly, I was kind of thankful that I had no exposure to the outside world while I was here. If I could feel the reactions of the other ponies, and hear Emerald herself telling what had been done to her, our not-quite-stable link likely would have flared up as it had earlier. As it stood, I was barely able to keep myself from going full vigilante. The only reason I hadn't already done so was because Emerald was counting on me to keep her safe, not deliver her into the hooves of that bastard. The more I had to think about his crimes, and the fact that he'd likely already kidnapped Trixie, the more appealing fulfilling the terms of the deal I made with Hunger sounded.

Damned if that wasn't a slippery slope to tread. I would have to trust that the Concept—one that was practically playing the deal-offering devil, no less—wouldn't fuck me over. It would be so simple... just give in to my hunger for revenge, cast one spell... and I'd be my own person again. There were too many risks in seeking out the exact situation though. The stars would have to align just right...

I think that's why Hunger kept appearing. Even as I sat at the table, amidst a fresh game of pyramid solitaire, she was watching me. Maybe she thought she was clever, once again using the reflectivity of the crystal walls to pretend she was my reflection... I'll admit, it took me longer than I'd have liked this second time, because at first glance the blurred reflection was the exact same size as me. It was as if she was pretending to be me if my mane and coat were swapped... which only pissed me off more, because that just made me look more like him.

Eventually, after what felt like forever, Emerald entered the room. Unlike when I'd appeared, she was normal and entered through the door. If it weren't for what she'd just been put through, and the fact that she looked utterly drained, I'd have readied wry comment about her being no fun. It wasn't the time or place for that sort of ribbing.

Instead, I watched as she just crawled onto her bed and just laid on her back, staring up at the ceiling. I didn't yet know whether we could fall asleep in here, but at that moment, I decided she needed some rest. Almost automatically, my form shifted to the one I'd worn in the other world as I walked over and started tucking her in. It'd been so long since I'd done it for my sisters, and I felt a great sorrow as I did it, but I also felt paradoxically happy.

"You were right," Emerald murmured in an almost dreamy voice, seemingly not even caring that I wore a different form here. She looked as though she might be blushing, although it's always hard to tell with fur. "He is a nice pony..." She seemed to instinctively nuzzle into my hand as I brushed her mane out of her face and adjusted her pillow. "He was so kind to me... and he didn't even ask for anything..."

I smiled down at her. "He really is," I whispered, patting her head gently as I shifted back to my pony shape. "Dunno if we can actually sleep here, but try to get some rest." A thought occurred to me. "The hotel room key is in my cloak pocket. Might be nothing, but..."

The moment she shut her eyes, I focused on the sensation I'd felt the previous times I'd come up from the room. It was really disorienting, but not just because I started feeling everything from my own heartbeat to the way the air conditioner blew through my coat. No, I was also disoriented because I wasn't in the exact same spot I was in before. No, for some reason I found myself hugging Blueblood, with Serenity clasped between my foreleg and his barrel.

"You seem to have really won her over, Blue," I murmured as I heard the sound of a camera. My glasses were once again off, but I imagined that it was probably Starlight. I don't know if she kept that in her saddlebags, or in a pocket dimension, but it seemed like whenever there was 'cute shit' going on, somepony had a camera. "Thanks for being so kind to her."

As I extricated myself from the hug, I tossed a glance in the direction of the heliotrope blur ."We'll never speak of this again," I said. "And where are my damn glasses?"

Suddenly, my vision cleared, as somepony dropped them at the end of my muzzle. "Even if you can't cast with it, that horn's at least good for something, my friend," Blueblood said with a tone of forced joviality. God, I didn't even think what it must be like for him or for Starlight to listen to that. "It's a great place to put glasses when they're in the way."