Carina was staring at me from her place on the bed, I feel her luminescent eyes trying to bore a hole through my bundled wings. I had been gone all night and when I got back she had been passed out, and I followed short after, rolling myself into a wing-burrito in the corner. I was barely awake as it was and I didn't know what time it was anymore, but so long as I got to stay curled up in my heart shaped cocoon over here, I guess I could answer some of her questions.

"...Carina? You need somethin'?" She squeaked in surprise. "Yes, I'm awake. You have a question right?"

"Well maybe one or two. Are you alright?" I yawned.

"Well enough I suppose. Last time I did this I knocked myself out so, this is actually an improvement."

"Did what?"

"... First, I spoke to Luna about what you told me about your sister and invasions and everything. I couldn't just let that fester, ya know?"

"I, no I guess you couldn't. What are the Princesses going to do?"

"If my plan works, they won't have to do anything."

"Plan? What plan?" She had to wait a second, I was yawning again.

"... Step one, find the hive. I gave Luna your description of a normal changeling, which she would use to try to find someplace with a concentration of nightmares about them."

"The Princess of the Night can see dreams?" She sounded impressed.

"Yeah, neat huh? Anyway, she found a couple of spots, which tripped me up for a bit. I had to adjust the plan." Yawning, sleep was encroaching on me quickly.

"Okay so, you found a few potential hive spots. How could you tell which was the right one without me telling you?"

"I didn't. I figured I would just attack all of them. Cause more problems for them all at once..."

"You attacked them!"

"... not personally..."

"Who did you send? Toby is still here with us in the cave." I never got to answer that day. I passed out.

He looked upon the village from behind his mask. Parasites he thought, invaders. He would have slayed them all had he been allowed, but he had to hold back for the sake of the innocent (~~ignorant~~) ponies. They would not know how to react to corpses, and he needed the defeated changelings to be able to scurry back to the hole they came from to let their mother know that they were not safe under their false-skins anymore.

He and his brothers, Beta and Delta, they were all descendents to a knight whose keen eyes were known for seeing through tricks and disguises, only the strongest illusions and mind magics could affect them. And these skin-deep facimalies were a very poor illusion. Even now, he could see several of the 'ponies' swerve around objects to avoid damaging gossamer wings that didn't exist, the way their lips spoke just a little out of sync with the words they were saying. He had his targets.

With a swish of his cape, Alpha Knight disappeared from his rooftop perch and into the shadows. It was time to hunt.

Anten was going to kill his brother! What was he thinking? Trying to get his attention while out of disguise like that! The idiocy was off the charts. But, something had to have happened to make him try so desperately to get his attention, so we would kill him after he hears whatever it is he has to say.

"Report! What is so important that you need too... to..." Bodys of changelings, alive but injured, piled into the shade of the surrounding buildings. "... What?"

"Fool." Beta Knight had completed his objective.

Within winding halls of glossy black and luminescent green, a hive was buzzing in distress. There were intruders! They would strike at random, always in places where they had the least coverage. There was even a moment when an attempt was made on the queens life! A wave of energy had gone for her neck, and it was only her majesty's powerful magic that allowed her to repel it in time. And as they spread themselves thinner and thinner to try to keep an eye on every corner, they would always miss the flash of cloth over their heads, transporting imprisoned pony after pony outside to where a certain princess was waiting to teleport them to Canterlot

Elfilis hadn't responded to her for a few days now. Whatever he did, whoever he created, better have been worth knocking him out for so long. Toby was still there for Carina, but he wasn't exactly one for conversation. And too much cuddling and she would start to get molting pains. She had already grown a head taller and was unwilling to push it further than that. Princess Luna came to check on the resident dream master herself, and she was shocked to realize they stood at around the same height already, so she was done for now.

It was no small amount of excitement she felt when Elfilis began to shuffle and shift from his spot on the floor.

"Heeey~ sleepyhead. You awake finally?" He just grunted at her and moved a wing to look at her. "That's good. You were out for a long time you know."

"Mmm. You got taller." Well thanks for noticing. "Is everything alright? Nothing major happen while I was out?" Carina shook her head at him.

"Nope. It seems you did pretty good by the way, Luna says all the changeling are gathered in one place having nightmares of glowing pink eyes glaring at them through angry metal masks. Your work right?"

"Yeah. They aren't as strong as Toby, but I made three of them and they are more tactical, so it was a pretty big effort. Sorry for leaving you there for so long." She smiled at him.

"It's okay, but, there is some way you can make it up to me~" And he rolled his wing back over his body. "Hey!"

"You keep picking bad times to ask."

"I can't help when I'm in the mood!"

"Funny, neither can I." She pouted. Throwing her words back at her like that.

"... Do you just not like me enough?" Puppy eyes.

"We aren't doing this right now." Glare.

"When are we going to do it then huh? I want to do this and you keep leading me on!" There was a moment before he rolled over to look at Carina with his funky, tired eyes. He lifted an ear in the air and lifted an arm off his chest in invitation. Carina jumped into his arms and nuzzled at his neck for a moment, but stopped in surprise as he rolled back over and wrapped up the both of them in his natural blankets.

"Carina. You are great, okay? We'll get there. Maybe soon. I don't want to lead you on, but I can't take anymore excitement right now. You can keep asking, it's whatever, but I don't know when I'll be up for it okay? Especially since... I can't remember ever having done it before."

"Somepony as unapologetically hung as you has never had sex, really?"

"Amnesia. And I have no frame of reference for how big I am."

"Oh shit, right. Uh. Sorry. And uh, you're a good size, though I'm sure that's in part because you are so big in general."

"Good to know. Go to sleep."

"It's morning?"

"Sleeeeep." Snort.

"Fine, whatever big guy. I'll play along."

"Good, now shush." Just the sound of breathing and fur occasionally running against against chitin as Carina tried to get comfortable.

"... Elfilis?" A very exasperated sigh came from him.

"Yes?"

"I have to pee."

"... I'm not going to wake up to wrap you up again."

"It's a while off from now, but the Princesses have invited us to some gala later in the year. You interested?" We were having breakfast at the table, more shockingly good tomato sandwiches in front of all of us.

"I don't know if I should be at such a public event, what if there's a changeling and they recognize me?"

"I had you over my shoulder in a throne room full of guards and cooks. Are you sure none of them were changelings who would have already recognized you?"

"Point taken. Well, I guess I wouldn't mind going. It's the Grand Galloping Gala right? I'll need to get a dress." I was getting to the bottom of that, right now.

"Okay, hold up. Why do you wear clothes? Like ever?"

"To look good? We want to match the feng shui of the party? I mean, it's a big fancy event you know?"

"But, clothes are meant for protection? And like, hiding your genitals and stuff. Your armor, made for protection left you bare and from I can tell that holds true for all the clothes too. The princesses have regalia and stuff but, oh. Nevermind. I get it."

"Mind sharing? I don't get it. Why would we hide our cutie marks from each other?" I just shook my head.

"I'm pretty sure it's a contest. 'Yes, well my suit is made of silk from the most well-cared for moths of the kingdom.' 'Oh, quite exquisite sir, mine is imported from the minotaurs past the mountains. They have secret weaving techniques using their hands that they don't share with just anypony you know!'"

"Your being pessimistic about it. It's not that big a deal."

"So if you went to the Gala wearing a blanket around your neck, none of the nobles would look at you like you just insulted them?"

"... Why do you have to have such good arguments? Fine, maybe you're right. I still need a dress though." Lucky for her I knew somepony.

As I watched Twilight levitate a giant bear made of constellations into the Everfree with a makeshift baby-bottle in its mouth, I decided maybe Ponyville wasn't the best place to do some dress shopping for the moment. It was late anyway.

"Elfilis, the guards are following us..." They were, they were trying to be subtle but they were wearing gold armor in the middle of Canterlot.

"I think they are following Toby actually."

"Hiiii~" The guards panicked and ran behind cover.

"It's nice of them to be willing to play with you, but they really should be doing their jobs. Maybe I should tell Celestia about it?"

"How about we ignore them and get me that dress?" Fair enough.

"I'm sorry, I'm absolutely swamped with orders! I have an old school friend who might be able help though, and she won't make you pay with a hoof and a leg for it."

"Her name is Rarity isn't it. Damn it. Alright, thank you anyways."

"Do come back!"

"Are you sure we should be asking her to make my dress right now? She looks like she lost a fight with a dragon..."

"I did lose a fight with a dragon actually, but nevermind that, what I can I do for you darlings?" Seriously, she was smothered in soot. Why was Rarity fighting a dragon?

"Uh, me and Carina here have invites to the Grand Galloping-"

"Yes! I will make your wardrobes for the dance! A full ensemble for the both of you!" Uh oh.

"Ah, no, just for her. I'm not sure I can afford two custom fits with what Carina lent me."

"Nonsense, deary! I'll do it for free! This is a once in a lifetime opportunity to make clothes for bodies I've never gotten to work with before!" I just kept remembering how hot I was under the blankets in Canterlot Castle. This was going to suck.

"I can't believe you got aroused from wearing clothes!" Yeah, it sucked.

"I got aroused because it was hot as fuck under all those layers. Thank god I was able to finally talk her out of it."

"I think your dick did all the talking. She almost measured it by accident before she realized what it was."

"And I'm sure you have the result memorized already."

"... No." Charming.

"... How big was it?" But I was regretfully curious regardless.

"... I'll tell you later hotshot."

I was reading a book on the 'Biography of Equis' when Carina jumped onto my stomach, knocking the air out of me. I lifted my book up to see her rubbing her nose into my neck fluff like a cat while her lower body layed on my pelvis. I knew where this was going.

"Are you in the mood again?"

"Nope!" Wait, really? "It just hit me, I just spent all day doing things that I wanted to do! We went to canterlot, had some lunch, went to Ponyville to get a dress commissioned for a party I decided to go too. And it's all because of you and I am going to cuddle you to death!"

"Plus, Toby's not around anymore right?"

"Maaaaybe. How do you think he's doing in town anyway?"

"PINKIE!" Uh-oh, that was Mr Cakes 'You need to explain' yell! Better see what Pinkie Pie did this time!

"Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeees~?" Pinkie asked as she slid all the way down the stairs guard rail. "Did I make an oopsie?"

"I don't know! You tell me! All of the shortcakes are gone!" Oh noes! Not the shortcakes!

"Oh my gosh! That's terrible! What am I going to feed Toby now!" It was his favorite after all!

"I don't know-! Toby? Who's Toby?"

"My new bestest friend! Look!" And Pinkie pulled a purple puffball out of her mane, who was wearing a baby crocodile on his head and was holding a fork with a half-eaten strawberry shortcake stabbed on its prongs.

"Poyo~!"

"... Pinkie, make some shortcakes please."

"Okie Dokie!"

Author's Note

Finally, calm, doing normal life things. Like shopping, and evading the guards. How do you all feel about Elfilis's Phantom Meta Knights? He is like, in the top four favorite and most commonly represented in Kirby games.
Plus he was banned in SMB for being bat-shit insane.
I'm sure most of you already know this but someone said they were reading and never played Kirby? So that's for you.

Finally, my pace is ridiculous, but im sure I'm going to slow down on updates soon. Besides, I already lost my top spot on "Whats Hot" to a story with Infinite Horsedick in its name. Can't top that. Sex sells everybody.