Somewhere...

In a dark room... ...

Decrepit, ramshackle, filled with junk and detritus beyond shadowed recognition... ... ...

... ... ... a single television flickered brightly atop a table, casting haunting shadows all over the dreary domain.

It was a news broadcast playing helicopter footage from Shibuya Crossing on repeat. From a bird's eye point of view, three femme fatales dressed tightly in black could be seen fighting a burning quirk-bearer before shoving him into a mysterious portal. The phenomenon vanished as soon as they made their exit, and the many-many bewildered onlookers and injured men named "Shinji" could be seen standing up to begin their long, confusing, groggy recovery.

More random news clips revealed Police slowly arriving at the scene, accompanying the injured bodies of Mt Lady, Kamui Woods, and Death Arms as they helped escort citizens to first aid facilities.

Meanwhile, a dark figure shifted in the deepest shadows of the room. The faint outline of a disfigured head kissed the light from the television. A gnarled hand dialed a number on a cell phone, and after a briefly-repeated tone, a voice could faintly be heard on the other line.

A gruff voice hissed into existence, issuing out from the hunched-over figure: "Yes. I'm watching the archived footage as we speak."

Silence.

The figure shifted in the dusty darkness. "That's correct. I too saw it live. It matches exactly what happened in Osaka. Mmmmhmmm... yes... and it's just like what transpired in Kyoto and Okinawa as well."

The televised news flickered to composite sketches of three questionably young female portraits. The anchorperson squirmed awkwardly, apologizing profusely that absolutely zero witnesses were able to provide accurate details of hair, eyes, or facial features to the press.

"They're on the move," the gruff voice continued. Feet shuffled. A mutant head formed a grotesque outline in the rectangular glow of the television screen. "Nobody can catch up with them. The police... registered superhumans... even All-Might himself, if he wasn't retired..."

The figure's head shook and he wheezed slowly, shaking from head to toe.

"...I don't think anyone is capable of matching the strength of their quirks."

The voice on the other line rang eerily.

"Yessssss..." The figure lisped. He slowly reached a trembling hand up to a lamp beside him. "...I too have seen the close-up pictures of the three on social media... and if you ask me, Kaminari..."

Click!

Light flooded the UA dorm room, revealing mountains of crumpled tissues forming a hikikomori war trench around an elaborate scrap book full of printouts of three sexy sirens dressed in black lycra and wearing fish-themed helmets.

"These three villains..." Mineta shrieked, nostrils flaring as the grapefruit balls across his scalp throbbed in earnest. "...are the absolute most hottest bitches to ever grace Tokyo!!!"

The voice on the other line grunted, then chirped something else.

"What?" Mineta did a double-take, grimacing. "Hell no, dude. Fortnite sucks. Download Overwatch." Click. "...Hello?"

Author's Note

Three fishes enter a bank... No, thats not a joke. Thats how this story start

~Nekojackun