Heart of the Wood

I sit on a hard exam bed, rubbing idly at the orange spots that have appeared along my legs. I look to the door of the private exam room. It's been nearly an hour since we arrived at the hospital. I understand why they rushed Tree Hugger back right away, but they seemed to also be in a rush to get me into the exam room. The waiting only makes me more nervous and I find myself thinking over the events of the morning.

Was there anything else I could have done? If only I hadn't backed up to the water. If I only was watching my surroundings. If only I hadn't been trying so hard to impress Clear Cut.

Finally the door opens and a pony steps in covered from head to hoof in a surgical gown, cap, mask, and hoof covers. I can tell he's a stallion from his size and build, but I can't see anything else about him. "Alright Ms Heart Wood," he begins, stepping closer. "I'm Dr. Palomino. I understand you aren't feeling so well today. Why don't you tell me what happened while I get your vitals?"

I shake my head while he listens to my heart. "I don't know, doctor. I was working with my crew cutting some trees by a swamp. There was an accident and I found myself next to the water. Then this blue and orange flower sprayed a bunch of pollen at me. I started feeling dizzy and nopony would come near me." I look right at him, trying to catch his eye. "I'm kind of scared, doc. What did that flower do to me?"

He focuses on what he's doing while I talk, getting my blood pressure after listening to my heart. At my question he finally looks up. "Let's not get ahead of ourselves, Ms Heart Wood. There's a few more tests I need to complete." He takes a bottle out of a cabinet, pouring a clear liquid in about halfway up. "You mentioned feeling dizzy. Have you had any urge to cough or sneeze?"

I open my mouth to say no, but the moment I do I feel the need to cough overtake me. I cough several times with my eyes pressed closed. When I open them a bunch of bubbles are floating in front of me. I stare at them for a moment then another cough comes and more bubbles pop out of my mouth. I clap a hoof over my mouth. "What's happening doc?"

Dr. Palomino calmly catches a bubble in the bottle he'd prepared, putting a lid on tight and shaking it. "We'll know in a moment," he says in a calm and reassuring tone. He holds up the bottle and looks close at the liquid inside. "We're looking for any color other than red."

I stare intently at the bottle. The liquid stays clear. After a few moments I almost start to breathe again, then the liquid rapidly changes to a deep blood-red. I look at the doctor, my eyes growing wide. "What does that mean?"

He closes his eyes for a moment. "I'm sorry, Ms Heart Wood," he says, opening them and looking at me. "I'm afraid you've contracted swamp fever."

I shake my head. "I don't know what that is," I say, my voice cracking.

The doctor nods solemnly. "It's a very rare disease caused by bloodwood pollen. All we know about it are the symptoms. Mottled coat, dizziness, bubble coughing, shock sneezes, confusion…" He trails off for a moment, then seems to steady himself. "And the final stage, where the infected turns into the tree that dropped the disease-spreading flowers."

I stare at him. I feel my heart racing, my mouth going dry. For a moment, I can't seem to find words, my brain doing all it can to wrap around what the doctor just said. "But, you can treat it, right?" I ask, barely at a whisper. "You have a medicine that will cure me?"

I see his eyes soften, then he slowly shakes his head. "I'm sorry. There is no known cure."

My breathing stops. I search what little of his face I can see, desperate to find some hint of a cruel joke. Seeing only sincere compassion, I let out a whimper. Suddenly I can't pull enough air into my tightening chest. "Please. Please, there's gotta be something, anything." I don't even try to hold back the sobs overtaking me, my sight blurring with tears. "Sweet Celestia, please!"

He starts to reach out a hoof in a gesture of comfort, then stops himself, taking a step back. "I truly wish there were, Ms Heart Wood. We'll get you admitted and make you comfortable. Right now you are highly contagious, so I'm afraid you'll need to be isolated. I'll send the nurse in to get you to your room." He turns towards the door.

"Doctor!" I call, sniffing back my tears enough to speak. "How… How much… I mean, how…" I can't seem to finish the question, each word closer pulling another sob from deep within my barrel. I start to ask again and a coughing fit overtakes me, filling the air with bubbles.

Dr. Palomino waits until I can catch my breath once more. "Ten days," he says softly. "Sometimes a day more or less, but on average it takes ten days to run its course." He opens the door, then looks back. "I'm so sorry." With that, he exits and closes the door, leaving me alone with my tears.

Day 15

I wake up in the early morning hours, long before Celestia raises the sun. I lay on the bed with my eyes closed. "Please be a bad dream," I whisper, then open my eyes.

Nothing's changed. Even in the dark I can see the blank walls all around, and the curtain that can surround my bed pushed to the wall. I smell the sharp and biting scent of the antiseptic even now, hours after they scrubbed the room before I was brought in. The little nightstand beside the bed is empty except for a few sanitary wipes, a cup of water, and a call button to summon the nurse.

I take a deep breath. I let it out slowly, thinking about the day before. When yesterday started I saw so many possibilities. I would build a name for myself, work hard, maybe even start my own lumber company one day. Now, I only have nine more days.

I feel my chest growing tight, preparing for another rush of tears and misery. I cough instead, bubbles floating around the bed. Once I can stop I let my head drop to the pillow again.

"It's just not fair," I say, tears welling up again. I'm surprised any are left. "What did I do to deserve this?" As if in answer, the image of Tree Hugger's face fills my mind. I see the shock in her eyes, feel the impact of the axe in my hands and the warm spray of blood over my face.

I press my eyelids closed tight, but the image remains. "It wasn't my fault," I whisper. "It was an accident. I didn't want it to happen." The tears flow again, my sobs interrupted only by more bubbly coughs. Some time later exhaustion wins out and I pass out again.

There's no escape in my dreams. Every moment plays out in excruciating detail, over and over. Nothing is left out, from Tree Hugger to the flowers to the looks on the crew's faces. Through it all, a soft whisper teases at my ears, just quiet enough that I can't make out the words.

I try to run, but every way I turn brings me back to her body, the axe, and those cursed trees. The whispers continue, and the trees close in around me. I scream.

I wake up again, the world still dark. I weep quietly. The dream images won't stop playing out behind my eyes. It all begins again, like it has since I went to bed.

"Really, sugarcube, you should eat something," Nurse Sweetheart says through the speaker beside the observation window. She smiles warmly at me. "You've got to keep your strength up."

I glance at the tray with half-lidded eyes. The daisy sandwich and juice look good, but the idea of eating it leaves me cold. "Just take it away," I say, rolling over away from my lunch.

A blue glow shines behind me, and I hear the door open briefly. A few minutes later the speaker clicks on again and she asks, "Are you feeling up to some visitors, Heart Wood?"

I turn my head, looking through the observation window. Behind the nurse I see several ponies. The closest steps forward where I can see clearly. "Mom?" My voice cracks and my chest tightens. I nod my head rapidly.

Nurse Sweetheart steps away, gesturing the group forward. One by one they approach the window: my mom, dad, sister, and all my brothers. Mom smiles and steps closer to the glass. "How are you feeling, sweetheart?"

I open my mouth to answer and a bout of coughing overtakes me. I can see my sister, Willow Leaf, staring at the bubbles with wide eyes. "Does that hurt? Ow!" she asks, then jumps away from our mom, rubbing her shin. Mom gives her a stern look, then immediately turns a warm smile towards me again.

The coughing stops and I force a smile. "No more than a regular cough, Willow," I say, trying to sound normal. My voice sounds weak and rough as I hear the words. I look at my dad. "How come you're all here? Who's running the firewood stand?"

He manages a sad smile, shaking his head. "Oh, don't worry about that, Heart. Being here with you is more important." He reaches up, wiping his cheek, drawing another disapproving glare from mom.

I frown, looking between them. "But you both said our firewood fuels half of Hoofington. That's why you didn't want me to go. Running the stand was too important to the town and to the family."

Mom speaks up. "Oh, sweetheart, none of that matters more than you. We all wanted you to know how much you mean to us." She looks around at the rest. "Isn't that right?"

They all murmur their agreement, some only half-heartedly. My little brother, Sap Wood, stares down at his hooves

I look his way until I catch his eye. "Hey, Sappy. How are you holding up?"

He shrugs, glancing up at mom. "I'm alright, Heart. I missed you."

I hold up a foreleg, showing the orange spots all along it. "How do I look in orange, Sappy? I know it's your favorite color."

He looks at my leg, then back at mom. "It looks good, Heart," he says flatly.

Mom speaks up. "He's been moping since you left," she says brightly, like she's greeting a regular customer at the stand. "We've tried to tell him you're following your dreams, but it hardly helps. You two were… are so close, after all "

I look them all over, finding smiles both sad and forced on all of them. My older brothers won't meet my eyes from where they stand behind our parents, identical grudging smiles on their identical faces. I press my hoof to my forehead, taking a steadying breath. "Okay, Mom, what's going on?"

Her features freeze. "Whatever do you mean, sweetheart? We just heard you were sick and came to see you."

I stare back at her, my jaw clenched. "Really? You don't think you're all acting a little strange?"

She smiles a little wider. "I don't think we're acting strange, sweetheart. We just want you to feel better."

I scoff. "No?" I wave a hoof at them. "Sap Wood hates being called Sappy. He calls me out every time I do. The twins haven't been this quiet when they're together in, well, ever. Willow never stops asking questions." I look back at her. "And you're giving me your customer voice. You've never used it with me before."

Dad steps up to the glass. "We came to support you, Heart. What's so strange about that?"

"Apart from you saying you never wanted to see me again?" I throw the words back at him. "Wasn't that what you said when I told you about going out on my own?"

Sappy gasps, peering up at our dad. "Daddy, you said that to Heart?" I can see tears welling up in his eyes.

Dad looks at him, then me, then back. "That wasn't, I mean, yes, I said that, but I didn't mean it. I was just angry."

"You haven't said anything you didn't mean in my whole life, Dad," I glare at him, pulse racing. "You didn't believe I could make it on my own. You told me I'd end up dead somewhere." I let my head fall back to the pillow. "Looks like you were right. You must be happy."

I hear a gasp. I think it's Willow, but I just keep staring at the ceiling. Mom speaks after a moment, using that infuriatingly-pleasant tone she's used since she arrived. "Now, Heart Wood, all that is in the past. We're here for you now. That's all that matters. You'll see, everything will be fine."

I raise my head and stare at her, heat rising on my scalp. "No, Mom, it won't. Don't you get it? There's no cure for this!" I point at the spots on my face. "You can't fix this with a fake smile or pretend it all away!" Tears flow over my cheeks even as I shout. "I'm going to die and you won't even admit it!"

They all stare at me with stunned expressions. Willow and Sappy are weeping. Mom opens her mouth to speak, her pleasant mask gone. "Heart… I just…"

I jab my hoof out to the nightstand, hitting the call button. "I think you should all leave," I say quietly, almost keeping my voice steady. Nurse Sweetheart arrives a moment later. "I'm tired," I tell her. "I want to get some rest." I lay back down, staring up again so I won't see their faces.

"I'm sorry, but you'll have to go now," Nurse Sweetheart says gently but firmly. I hear the sound of hoofsteps slowly moving away from the speaker.

There's a sudden clamor of small hooves on tile, and Sap Wood's trembling voice over the speaker. "Heart?"

I look over, meeting his tear-sparkled eyes. "I love you, sis," he says urgently.

I feel tears flooding over my cheeks again. I manage a smile. "I love you too, Sappy."

He smiles, sniffing back tears. "Don't call me that," he says without heat.

I nod. "Never again," I promise.

He sobs, touching the glass with a hoof. I hold out my own to him. He steps away, running back to the others.

I lay back again, crying hard, until another coughing fit fills the air with those cursed bubbles.

I lay there in the dark, staring up into the shadows. My tears stopped hours before, but my chest stays tight and I can't seem to take a deep breath without it catching in my throat. The bubbles have stopped for now, but I fear they'll return any moment. I rest a hoof on my belly, willing my dinner to stay down. Nurse Sweetheart insisted I eat after skipping lunch, so I swallowed down a few bites.

"You really should get some sleep, sugarcube," comes a gentle voice from the speaker. I look, finding Nurse Sweetheart behind the window, smiling softly.

"Don't you ever go home?" I ask with a sigh.

She shakes her head. "I'm here as long as you need me. I grab a nap here and there in the staff lounge." She looks over her shoulder, then adds with a secretive grin, "Being the only unicorn on staff, it's safest for me to tend to you."

I snort a laugh, looking up again. "So you wouldn't be here if you didn't have to be either. Just like me."

"Oh, sugarcube, you don't understand," she says. "I could go home if I wanted to. The other nurses can tend to you, but I care about them as much as I care about you."

I look back again, seeing her genuine smile. "At least somepony does," I murmur.

She raises a brow. "It sure seemed like your brother did. Can I say something frankly?"

I feel tears rolling down my cheeks as the image of Sap Wood fills my thoughts. "I think you just did."

She chuckles. "I suppose I did." She looks me in the eyes. "It seemed to me that they all cared."

Shaking my head I scoff. "They had a weird way of showing it."

Sweetheart nods. "I've seen a lot of ponies dealing with a lot of stressful situations, including far too many facing the fact a loved one is dying." She shakes her head slowly. "Everypony deals with it differently. I know you needed them to meet you where you're at, and they didn't, but try not to hold it against them."

I frown. More tears threaten to flow, but I bite them back behind my remaining anger. "Why shouldn't I? I needed them and they could only think about themselves."

Her smile returns, soft and sad. "That's not what I saw, sugarcube. They all came here from Hoofington to see you and give what they thought you needed. They might've been wrong, but it's more than some ponies got from their families."

The tears threaten to flow as my anger falters. I lay back again. "You're right, I should sleep."

She sighs, then adds, "Sleep well, sugarcube. Ring if you need anything. I'll be right here."

I'm back at the logging site, lining up my axe on the bloodwood tree. All around me come whispers, persistent but soft. I look around but I'm alone with my axe and the trees.

Come… stay

"Hello?" I call. The only answer is the airy whinnying sound of the trees. I look back and the tree is covered in blood-red sap. I turn and I'm surrounded by bleeding trees. I line up my axe again.

Friend…

I pull back the axe, and Tree Hugger appears. "Stop!" she cries, blood blossoming from her barrel.

I start my swing. "No! Not again!" I shout

Suddenly Tree Hugger is replaced by my mom, "It'll be alright, you'll see."

The axe moves in slow motion, though I feel all my strength behind it.

My dad is there now. "Fine! Go! I never want to see your ungrateful hide again!"

The blade draws closer. "No, stop!" I yell, but I can't control my forelegs.

The axe blade is about to hit his chest. Dad vanishes, and Sappy is there, looking at me with tearful eyes. "I love you, sis!"

The impact shudders through my body.

I bolt upright in bed, screaming, "No!" at the top of my lungs. Sweat-soaked sheets fall away and I gasp for air, panting. I still see Sap Wood in my mind and my body aches with the feeling of my axe striking home. I can't stop the tears.

"Are you alright in there?" comes a voice from the speaker. I look, breath ragged, and see Nurse Sweetheart with an alarmed expression.

I can't answer at first. After a minute I nod slowly. "Just a dream," I say, as much for my benefit as hers. "I'll be alright."

She looks skeptical, but nods. "Okay, sugarcube. Drink some water. It'll help."

I don't argue, sipping deeply from the cup on the nightstand. She leaves again. I lay there in the darkness, sleep far from my mind.

Day 16

I wake to the smell of pancakes and strawberries. Blinking the sleep from my eyes I find a huge stack of pancakes on a plate next to me, decorated with strawberries and whipped cream in a big smiley face. I feel my stomach rumbling despite my exhaustion.

The speaker crackles to life. "Good morning, sugarcube," Nurse Sweetheart says cheerfully, smiling at me through the observation window. "I thought you might be hungry. You've barely eaten anything in two days. I took the liberty of dressing it up a little."

I pick up the knife and fork, cutting a generous bite. "Thank you," I say before popping it in my mouth. Chewing quickly, I swallow and add. "My mom used to make faces on pancakes for us."

"It's my pleasure. Is there anything else you need before I let you eat?" she asks.

My mind drifts back to my dreams while I chew. "There is one thing," I say slowly. "That mare I came in with, the one with the axe wound, what… What happened to her?"

Sweetheart raises a brow. "I'm really sorry, sugarcube, but I can't say. It's against policy to discuss patient status with anyone other than their next of kin."

I close my eyes, seeing Tree Hugger's limp and bloody body laying at my hooves. "Please," I beg, looking her in the eye. "I really need to know if she sur-- if she's alright."

She looks into my eyes for a long moment. "You were involved in the accident, weren't you?"

I nod quickly, jaw clenched tight.

She looks back over her shoulder and sighs. "She's alive. Her condition is serious, as she lost a lot of blood and one of her lungs collapsed, but she's stable. She should make a full recovery."

I start breathing again. "Thank you," I whisper.

She smiles and nods towards my pancakes. "You're welcome. Now eat your breakfast before it gets cold."

I just nod, already taking another bite.

I wake up hours later, sweating and my heart racing. The sun shines bright through the window over my bed. I lay still, letting my breathing slow, as the whispers of my dream echo in my mind. Come… stay…

"Are you up for a visitor, Heart?" Nurse Sweetheart says through the speaker.

I frown, looking over. "Are they still here?"

She shakes her head. "It's not your family. He says his name is Clear Cut."

My eyes go wide. "Clear Cut's here? Uh, yes, I'll see him." I push myself up to sitting.

She nods once and steps away. A moment later Clear Cut steps into view. He looks up at me almost reluctantly. "How are you doing, Heart Wood?" he asks, being unusually quiet.

"Hey there, boss," I say. "I'm as good as can be, I guess. These spots are everywhere, though. They're even over my cutie mark." I turn on the bed, showing the orange blotches over the heart-shaped crosscut of a log on my flank. "What are you doing here, boss? I thought you'd still be at camp."

He nods, barely looking. "We finished up early. Everypony wanted to get done fast, so we pushed through most of our breaks. The others wanted me to make sure you wanted to see them before they came over."

I furrow my brow. "Of course. Why wouldn't I want to see them?"

He shrugs. "Maybe we would remind you too much of what happened."

I sigh. "You say that like it hasn't been on my mind constantly. I'd love to see all of them." I manage a smile. "I'm glad you came, too. I had a question for you."

His eyes widen, "For me? What is it?"

"Why do you treat me different than the rest of the crew?" I ask bluntly.

"I don't know what you mean," he says, chewing on his lip.

"Yes you do," I say. "From the first day you kept dressing me down for any close scrapes. Everypony else says you just let them get hurt to learn a lesson. So why am I different?"

He looks me over. "I'm surprised you worked up the nerve to ask."

"What have I got to lose now?" I say sardonically.

He nods. "Alright. You remind me of somepony: my daughter."

My eyes widen. "I didn't know you have a daughter, boss."

"Had,' he says.

The word hangs between us. Pieces of the story click into place in my mind. "Oh."

He takes a deep breath. "I wasn't there when she died; I was out at a logging camp. I wasn't there to protect her." He looks at me again. "Then you show up, looking so much like her. I didn't want to make the same mistake."

"I'm sorry that happened to you," I say, "but I ain't her, boss." I sigh, pushing down the heat rising in my gut. "I never asked you to protect me, and I don't need you to. All I wanted was a fair chance to prove myself." A coughing fit strikes me, and I wince at the sight of those damned bubbles.

Clear Cut waits for the coughing to stop, shifting from one set of hooves to the other. "Even so, what happened to you was terrible, Heart. I wanted to say I'm--"

"Don't. You. Dare!" I bite off the words to keep from yelling them, my tone dark and hostile.

He stares back at me, mouth hanging open at the sound of my voice. "What?"

I glare at him, heat flooding my chest and cheeks. "Don't you dare apologize to me. You didn't get me sick. You didn't make me hit that mare with an axe." My voice starts to waver as the words pour out. "You don't apologize for anything you say. I screwed up! I wasn't watching where I stepped. I didn't check my swing in time. What you're supposed to do is yell at me for screwing up so bad." The tears start flowing. I cough out more bubbles, but the words won't stop. "And you never use my name! I'm rookie and you're boss and I'm really scared right now cough and everypony keeps dancing around what's happening cough, cough and I need somepony to act the way they are supposed to cough so something makes sense!"

I double over, coughing hard. I can't stop sobbing, causing more coughs with every breath.

"Damnit, rookie, pay attention!" Clear Cut shouts through the speaker. I snap my head up, looking into his scowling face. I think I see tears on his cheek.

"Didn't I warn you to watch out for those flowers?" he continues. "Don't you know to look where you're swinging that axe? You're lucky you didn't kill that mare on the spot!" He straightens up, looking stern as ever. "And don't get comfortable in there. I expect you back at camp by the end of the week, rookie. We have a quota to fill."

I catch my breath as he rips into me. A soft smile grows on my lips. "Yes, boss," I answer.

"What's with all the shouting?" I hear Nurse Sweetheart demanding, drawing closer. "This is a hospital! Our patients are trying to rest."

Clear Cut nods. "I was just making sure this lazy rookie knew what I think of her." He flashes a smile at me for just a moment.

The nurse looks between us, her brow furrowed. "I think Ms Heart Wood needs some rest now. You'll need to step out." She steps to one side of the hall, gesturing for him to walk ahead.

"Boss!" I call out.

He stops and looks back at me. "What is it, rookie?"

I smile through the tears streaking my face. "Thank you."

He nods, then walks away with Nurse Sweetheart close behind.

Day 17

In my dream I see the bloody trees. They sway in the breeze like they are dancing, limbs waving me forward. Soft whispers tease at my ears. I see Tree Hugger on the ground at the base of a tree, axe in her barrel and her blood mixing with the sap.

I approach her, seeming to drift over the ground. I look back at the branches moving above, flowers shaking free to float to the swamp below. When I look back at Tree Hugger I see a mare kneeling at her head, weeping. It's me. I watch as I rock back and forth, crying and saying, "I'm sorry," over and over.

I blink and Tree Hugger is standing in front of the bloodwood tree again, forehooves spread wide. She shouts, "Stop! It's—"

Swing. Chop.

She falls to the ground. I watch myself kneeling and cradling her head. "I'm sorry!"

She's back in front of the tree. "Stop! It's —"

"Stop it!" I yell, trying to reach them but barely moving. "Don't —!"

Swing. Chop.

Tree Hugger dives in front of the tree once more. I watch my shoulders start to move.

"Please stop!" I cry. My hooves feel rooted to the spot.

Swing. Chop.

I feel her blood spraying on my face. She falls, I watch myself cradling her head. "I'm sorry," I plead through tears

She's back on the tree. I see my axe moving. "Stop it! Just stop it!" I scream, the scene just out of reach.

Swing. Chop.

I watch her drop again, blood and tears on my face. I watch myself kneeling and feel the dirt on my legs, the weight of her body. "I'm sorry," I hear myself weep.

I reach out a hoof and touch my shoulder. The other me stops weeping. "Why did you do it?" she asks. "What did she ever do to you? You know what you are?" She turns suddenly. She's covered in blood from ear to hoof with empty holes where eyes should be. "You're a monster!"

I stumble back away from her. I open my mouth but no scream will come. My rump hits something hard. I turn to find Clear Cut glaring down at me, my bloody axe in his hooves. "Stay right where you are, rookie!" he says, his voice low and deep, and raises the axe to strike.

Eyes wide, I scramble to one side, looking between the two approaching horrors. I back up against one of the trees, the sap sticking hard to my coat. Suddenly the thick, blood-red sap starts flowing fast and thin, splashing over my eyes. I rub my eyes clear, feeling the warm sap running over my barrel and belly.

With my eyes cleared I look for the monsters approaching, but they're gone. That airy whinnying sound fills my ears, and I look up. One of the blue and orange flowers falls from the tree, bursting into a cloud of pollen. Once it clears the whispers are now voices, soft and comforting.

Join us. You are welcome here.

A low droning noise fills the background. I walk among the trees and they part to either side, revealing a place for me to stand in the center of them.

Stay with us. Be our friend.

The droning sound grows louder. I stop in the middle of the trees, looking around at them all. I look down and see a thick tree trunk where my hooves were a moment ago. I feel my roots digging deep into the soil.

Stay with us. Stay forever.

The drone gets louder, with a rippling whinny like the trees being cut joining in. I look down and see bark growing over my barrel. I feel my flanks growing stiff. I gasp, pulling against my rooted hooves, unable to move at all. "No! I'm a pony! I don't belong here! I'm not a tree, I'm a pony!" I scream as the bark covers my face—

I wake up with a shout, sitting upright and sending the sweat-soaked sheets tumbling. Somehow the drone and whinny sound from my dream remains as I slowly catch my breath and slow my racing heart.

I look to the bedside and nearly jump out of the bed with a shout. There beside the bed is a light green earth pony mare, her red mane tied in loose locks, sitting in a wheelchair with her eyes closed. She's holding her forehooves out to either side, making the drone-and-whinny noise softly with each steady breath. I see bandages wrapped tight around her barrel, and an IV bag hanging from the top of her chair.

"Ahh, hello?" I say, and she opens her eyes immediately, a sedate smile coming to her lips. She presses her forehooves together, bowing her head slightly.

"Blessings. I'm so glad you woke up while I was surrounding you with positive vibrations. I hope your sleep was healing and restful."

I stare at her for a long moment. "You were at the logging site. The one looking for protected animals." The fog of my dream clears and my eyes go wide. "You were—"

"The pony you hit with your axe, yes," she says dreamily.

I quickly look around the darkened room, my heartbeat roaring back to its speed from after I woke up. The walls all look solid, and the only light shines over my visitor from the open door. "Are you really here?" I ask cautiously.

Her smile grows as she shrugs. "Are, like, any of us really here?"

I stare at her, my brow furrowed. When she doesn't clarify I sigh and rub the sides of my head. "Look, if this is still my nightmare can we just get on with it so I can wake up?"

She shakes her head slowly, her smile still soft. "Oh, no worries. You're as awake as I am. I'm Tree Hugger, and I'm pleased to meet you."

Looking her way I sigh, drawing a few bubble-laden coughs. "I'm Heart Wood," I say once I get control. "Are you sure you should be in here? They tell me what I've got is pretty contagious."

Tree Hugger nods. "Heart Wood. Righteous. That is so in line with your aura. At least when I saw it in the swamp." She looks at me again, her eyes becoming unfocused. "Now it's all mixed up. That's why I came in here. I could feel the negative energy from my room."

"I don't have any idea what you're talking about," I say. My eyes drift down to the bandages wrapped around her body. My throat gets tight. "I, um, hear you're going to be alright. I'm really happy to hear that."

She refocuses her gaze, looking down at the dressing. "Oh, thank you for saying that. It's an experience I've never had before." She looks up at me again. "They are giving me something to keep it from hurting. That's a new experience for me, too."

I nod slowly, not meeting her eyes. I open my mouth to say something when I feel a sneeze coming on. Turning away from her, I sneeze and a tiny bolt of lightning shoots from my lips and singes the window. My eyes shoot wide open and I clap a hoof over my muzzle.

"Righteous," Tree Hugger says, sounding impressed.

My mind races, eyes darting around the room for more evidence of this being a nightmare. The room and my visitor persist in remaining solid. A piece of conversation comes to mind and I sigh, sitting on the edge of the bed. "So that's what he meant by shock sneezes," I mutter.

Tree Hugger smiles at me again. "So you're having new experiences, too. The universe brings so many lessons."

I scoff. "I really wish the universe wasn't bringing me so many. What am I supposed to learn when I'm…" I swallow back the tightness in my throat, finishing quietly, "I'm going to die."

She shakes her head. "It's all the same, Heart Wood. Life and death are just different journeys we all take. We're all part of the same energy connecting everything."

Tears flow as I shake my head. "How can you say that? If I had swung a little harder, if Plum was a little slower getting you here, you would be dead!" I cough some more, bubbles drifting away, and sob. "And it's my fault."

Tree Hugger watches me for a moment. "It wasn't your fault," she says simply.

"Yes it was!" I insist. "I swung the axe. I stumbled into the flower. You're hurt because of me. I'm dying because of me!"

That gentle, infuriating smile returns to her lips. "It wasn't your fault."

"Stop saying that!" I shout. "I did all of this. I'm responsible. I'm a monster!" More coughing and tears overtake me and I double over.

After a minute I feel a hoof under my chin, lifting my head to see Tree Hugger's gentle expression. "I forgive you, Heart Wood. It wasn't your fault."

I gasp and pull away. "Why did you do that? I told you I'm contagious! I can't let you catch this disease."

She nods again. "It was worth the risk. You needed the comfort, and you needed to know I forgive you for what happened. Now all you need is to forgive yourself."

I shake my head quickly, despite feeling like a load of lumber is falling off my back. "I'm not worth risking your life. Swamp fever is fatal! I'm going to die from this, and I can't let you die from it too!"

Tree Hugger raises a brow. "You aren't going to die from it, Heart Wood."

Before I can object, Nurse Sweetheart rushes in the open door. "What's happening in here?" She gasps and a moment later she's pushing Tree Hugger's wheelchair out the door with her magic. "Ms Tree Hugger! This is an isolation room. You can't be in here." She looks back at me. "I'm sorry she bothered you, sugarcube. Pain medications can make a pony do strange things. Do you need anything?"

I watch as Tree Hugger rolls out, seeing her smiling back at me. I shake my head at the question. "I'm fine," I lie.

She nods and steps back in the hall. "Alright. Try to get back to sleep." The door glows and swings shut again.

I lay back on the bed, listening as they move away until only silence surrounds me. "What did she mean?" I wonder aloud, then sigh and close my eyes again.